/biz/ - Business & Finance

Dear anons,
I want to share with you a story of how I lost my virginity.
New into the crypto world with little knowledge, I was scouting where to invest my barmitzvah money.
So I started to research, and quickly I was introduced to the YF family, and that is how I met YFV.
She was smart, well put together and seemed too good to be true.. So with such little experience thought she may be the one.
So I downed the rest of my onions milk and invested half of everything into YVF like a modern gentleman would do.
At $62 upon entry.
Suddenly, she dumped me. I didn’t even see some nipple, let alone areola!
I didn’t want to let go.. I held on, hurt, I couldn’t sleep. I had nightmares about being this loser simp virgin who didn’t deserve to even rent lambo...
I couldn’t let go or leave the house, so I studied. Hard. I searched for flaws in her.. hours, days, a week, haunted by echoes of my mothers rhetoric and disgust.. “oh, how could I raise such a disappointment, he ever find a nice good lambo to settle down with.”
I couldn’t let my mother down.
The price is $16.. I had the choice to cut my losses.. but I’m loyal. It’s how I was raised.
So I closed my eyes, manifested lambo, and went all in.
I woke up realising what I’d done.. so I spent the day in denial avoiding the charts. I sculled some water and looked out the window and a lambo drove past... just a coincidence I thought to myself.
I turn on the tv, the anchor says trump is leading in the polls. I chuckle to myself, another coincidence.
and go to make myself some cereal, head to the fridge... I’m out of onions! I’m starting to piece this puzzle together.. I run to my computer and look up YFV.. She’s going up!
I bought the dip!
I called up my friend immediately to tell him, and then I asked him,
“did I just lose my virginity?”
After a tense silence..
“Are you still there chad?”
He responded,
“Yes Chad. I am here. Welcome.”