/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>49264853
>Most semen ends up in a sock. Mine - in your belly

>>49264853
>wow, great job anon, those donuts were brilliant
>don't tell my wife, but I sneaked in two before lunch
>oh, the job?
>well you certainly have a lot of experience but i'm afraid we're not hiring for a similar position right now
>keep an eye out for some exciting opportunities posted on our careers website!

Ewww carbs. No thanks.

>>49264906
The absolute state.

>>49264906
This made me irrationally angry.

>>49264906
This is why i never got a real job i own a farm and sell potatoes instead kek.

why are amerishits so cringe

>>49264906
>but ive already applied online months ago

>>49264954
Looks like a British rag tho.

Brit culture is extremely cringe

>>49264906
I don't got online dawg

>>49264853
what kind of world does this guy live in. Who would take something like that and eat it. Eating random food from people that you never asked food from? What is in the food?

No I am not autistic I have been tested and I am normal. I would just never eat food from a stranger and I don't know anyone else who would in this day and age.

>>49264906
>employer version of lets just be friends and just bee yourself

>>49264853
I hire college grads every year. My boss is adamant about not giving special weight to resumes because of shit like this. I'd laugh him out of the room.

>>49264906
>hate current job
>decide to find a new one
>talk to friend who works at tech company
>"yeye anon, send me your cv we're really crying out for people right now"
>"yeye its more than you get paid"
>"yeye its work from home"
>overqualified but it pays more lets see what happens
>better credentials, experience and education level than friend
>send cv
>Oh gee, sorry anon. My boss checked the CV and he said it was great but we're not currently recruiting
>he said we're waiting on people to retire and then he'll call
Its niggerlicious looking for work

>>49265045
What do you look for in a resume anon? Assuming you work in tech/compsci?

>>49264942
How many acres do I need to farm potatoes to make a lower/middle class income anon? I've got 5 of nice silt rn.

>>49264983
Because normies refuse to believe that restaurant wagies sneeze and spit in their food. Any food from a restaurant is safe and Kung flu compliant. Just like how normalniggers think doctors are infallible because they went to school for a decade. They don't make mistakes (unless it inconviences the normie) and they'd never fuck someone over for their own benefit. Normies are braindead.

>>49265450
I remember reading that salad greens is best if you don't have much land
I live in an apartment btw

>>49264942
Good for you anon, just wanted to say that you are doing a real and valuable work.

Being a depressed wagie sitting in a front of coomputer 9 hrs a day so that some bitch can twerk online isn't a "real" or dignified job.

>>49264934
You only live once anon

>>49264888
>Most semen ends up in a sock.
>cutfags needing a sock to jack off

The absolute state.

>>49264906
Look, I'm a business owner and while I appreciate the moxy and balls on the kid, it was just a fucking attention whoring stunt at the end of the day. I can tell that he's into the "show" aspect of things one million times more so than actually being a good employee and being a net positve additon to a team just by looking at him. He's one of those people who think the rules don't apply to him and is free to just do whatever the fuck he wants without giving anything in return. I've hired people like him in the past that were really good "out there" show offs but it ALWAYS translated into them being terrible employees that don't think the rules apply to them. If you want to cut corners and go through the back door just find someone that works somewhere you want to work and have then vouch for you and introduce you to their boss or have them act as a reference in your application. All this guys attention grab little schtick here tells me is that he's desperate for in an, won't actually do anything for the company and is going to bounce to a new one in less than a year while never really having learned anything that makes him an asset. There are so many red flags that I can't even list them all without reaching the word limit on this post.

In short: fuck this guy.

>>49265045
This guy gets it. It's a show of narcissism and literally telling an employer "I think I'm better than everyone else but when it comes time to prove it I won't be able to because I'm actually NOT better than everyone else".

>>49264926
excuse me chud but they're anabolic donuts

>>49264983
>I have been tested and I am normal.
X

>>49264853
>the donuts are so delicious, we wouldn't want to waste your donut-making talents on a non-donut position at our firm.

>>49264853
The clever way to get past the HR scum that only hire woke candidates.

>>49264853
>end up in trash
you mean in THE trash, right?

>>49266877
Sounds like the average marketing employee to me.

>>49264982
based and bassmasterpilled

>>49264853
>Sunglasses in an elevator
What a fag. I'd reject him just based on that alone

>>49265450
How long is a piece of string? Lots is the answer, potatoes are a heavily subsidized crop and it would be hard to be competitive on a small holding.

reminder that she got the job

>>49264934
Can we circle back at some point after lunch? Just got a few points I’d like to touch on

>>49264853
>grab donut
>don't read the box
>go on with your day

>>49264983
so youve never eaten at a restaurant before?

>>49266877
>look I’m the apex wage cuck and I know this potential wagie won’t let me make him my whipping boy and be the ultimate wage cuck I need slaves that know nothing of obedience and because I think I’m hot shit for being the ultimate wage cuck FUCK HIM GOT MINE
The absolute state of wagies that think they’re more important than they actually are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H44ZLiOlN0A

>>49265045
Your boss is a moron. Always hire the hungriest candidate. This is the guy who will work on Saturday for free.

>>49264983
You might not have autism but you certainly have some kind of mental illness.

>>49268874
Businesses can smell desperation and HR ladies don't pass along resumes if they think they can smell it on you, tough luck buddy.

>>49268874
That isn't how reality works. The best candidate isn't starving for your attention. The best candidate has options, and you have to win them just as much as they have to win you.

>>49266877
But those are qualities marketing and sales need. Not all industries are the same and some Companies thrive on people like that in their jobs.

>>49264853
I would stop my day and call every competitor and similar company in my region and blackball this faggot from ever getting hired.

>>49264906
kek

>>49264906
And thats the WAAAAAAAAY the news goes!

>>49264983
Most food gifts get thrown away because people actually do try to eat healthy. Like if a drug rep brings a box of donuts to a doctors office just to be able to speak to a doctor for 10 seconds, the receptionist will eat 2 of them, maybe the fattest nurse will eat one, then the rest get thrown away. Bringing food is a losers game.

>>49268678
Cringe

>>49268874
The hungriest candidate will stay hungry and leave after six months for more money after doing the same thing to another company that he did to you

>>49270193
Sales is not about bringing food and begging. It’s about knowing the sales process and how to steer people toward buying your product. What this kid is doing is bribing, not sales

>>49266877
I think the selfie in the lift gives it away

>>49264983
if you were normal you wouldn't have needed to be tested. you must have been a false negative, sperg.

>>49270302
Correction, people try to eat healthy when they know other people are keeping tabs. Stop being a cuck lol, eat that free pizza

>>49268827
Yea and I got hepatitis and ecoli

>>49265375

1. Experience with modern / relevant stack. Dont apply to a normal job if you want to do ML / C++.

2. Not job-hopping every 6 months repeatedly.

3. Ideally some sort of education listed.

4. A git link to SOMETHING helps. Though HR doesnt care.

CS market is still hot. It will cool. If you aren't getting replies now, something is off.

Not guy you asked obviously.

>>49264906
tfw i have heard the exact thing minus the gay donut bullshit

>keep applying on our careers website and let me know if you get an interview!
>oh you want to join my team? we are not hiring at the moment

>>49264853
>No job openings? Unfortunately the donuts were poisoned but I have the antidote: One million dollars. Or you let me work for you for ten years for $75k. Make your choice.

>>49264942
Based potato farmer, I only have a backyard garden but the spud is the king of root crops and I love growing a sack's worth every year

>>49264906
one time i drove 1 hour to a job hiring event. Stood in line for 30 mins then got to talk to some 35 year old black guy recruiter and he told me to go apply online. When I said I already applied to multiple positions online he said ok great just wait and see if you hear back!

>>49268841
Unfortunately this is the world that the boomers have created.

>>49266877
the american mind is a broken mess who view people like a means of extracting profit, squeezing a rock dry, money is the only thing americans think about and your whole society revolves around it, which is why you suffer from chronic tipping
or you're just jewish, average goy-slop american is so judeized it's hard to tell the difference

I wage as a security guard at a 5 star hotel, surveying the cameras. All my co-wagies are male boomers who only talk about their summer cottages, fishing and cars so there is no femoid nonsense. And I get free meals 3 times a day at their 5 star restoraunt so I barely spend money on food. I buy crypto with the rest and live with my relatives.

>>49264853
>didn't even grammar check it
I'm glad he's provided a little box for me to throw up in prior to calling security

>>49264942
GIWTWM

>>49264934
>This made me irrationally angry
i know, he didn't even do a little dance

>>49264976
>Looks like a British rag tho.
>Brit culture is extremely cringe
yeah, i could be wrong but that looks like an asda/tesco reusable bag. i would hazard a guess this guy is in london and the job he's applying for isn't doughnut delivery. id also hazard a guess he's not English based on the grammatical issues.

>>49266226
>>cutfags needing a sock to jack off
that's not why it ends up in a sock anon...

>>49271458
He probably said that to everybody.

>>49268670
>How long is a piece of string
>lots
I don't think that is the correct answer friend

>>49270302
>Most food gifts get thrown away because people actually do try to eat healthy. Like if a drug rep brings a box of donuts to a doctors office just to be able to speak to a doctor for 10 seconds, the receptionist will eat 2 of them, maybe the fattest nurse will eat one, then the rest get thrown away. Bringing food is a losers game.
ive worked in a secure psychiatric hospital before. pretty much anything the patients make goes directly to the bin. but the staff constantly binge snack on sweets etc, that's why so many drs and nurses aren't in great shape. that and they're lazy fucks that just hide in the office most of the day.

if a drug rep brings you a box of doughnuts, report them to the fda for the ultimate euphoria pump and dump. the fda is very, very strict about anything that could possibly be construed as bribery, including food baskets.

>>49266877
Im sure you believe you’re the type of guy that can tell a virgin just from looking at her.

>>49264906
christ. the worst part about how accurate this is, is that I actually believed it the first time I heard it.

>>49266226
it's just to catch the semen anon. Cutfags don't understand the beauty of simply ejaculating into your own foreskin and allowing your seed to cultivate.

U ironically this is a great movie. I used to sell copier machines in San Francisco, I'd tape my business card to a box of donuts or bagels and walk directly in to the decision makers office and hand deliver the box.

Worked everytime fucking time and I became the highest volume seller.

Chess vs checkers gentlemen

>>49264853
>interviewers are not taking my applications seriously.
>are they even reading them???
>I'm gonna differentiate myself from everyone else
>play dress up... as an uber eats driver
>yea, holy shit I look pretty cool, lemme grab a selfie in the lift
this strategy was fun and interesting back maybe 10 years ago.
now if he wanted to stand out and impress them, it'd be like pro-abortion cookies, he'd show up in drag, and tell the secretary his pronouns are shir/shiite.

>>49271458
Unironically the same shit happened to me. The landwhale HR roastie looked at my resume and told me to apply online. I asked her why she was even there if all she did was redirect people to apply online. And yet these poor corporations are "crying" for workers.

>>49272165
>I asked her why she was even there if all she did was redirect people to apply online.
well, don't leave us hanging. if you really asked her, what'd she say?

>>49271458
ive done this many times.

one of my best achievements was applying for a pharma job. the place was about an hour away. i got a train way earlier. then, with it being mainly a motorway access site, got lost in the fields surrounding it. they handled opiates at the site so the whole thing was surrounded by a fence and waste deep brush. it was the middle of summer. i ended up romping round the field in a suit and waistcoat for about forty five minutes trying to find a way to the security gate under power lines and wind turbines then emerged out of their with sweat actually dripping off me and covered in sticky grass. missed the interview by an hour plus.

in fairness to them, they actually interviewed me and gave me a glass of water. didn't get it. but, on the plus side one of the interviewers had a rocking set of milky teats and had a button up dress shirt on that was tight enough i kept getting distracted by being able to just about see between the buttons.

>>49272165
>I asked her why she was even there if all she did was redirect people to apply online.
What was her response?

>>49264853
I thought we had a labor shortage?

>>49272368
Oh we do anon. Here it extends to:
>Nurses at public hospitals - shit pay, shit hours
>Working in homes with retarded people/criminals - shit pay, dangerous, shit hours
>Unskilled labor

that's it. labor shortage. if you have a university degree there's 50 applicants for every position

>>49272463
50? Maybe on the first day the position is posted. Try 500, at least. I’ve seen jobs get 200 applications in the first few hours.

>>49264853
I can't even get a job at McDicks. It is seriously getting on my nerves now that I am being gaslit that I'm "lazy" for not having a job by many of the normshits i occasionally hang out with and when I ask them to send in my CV/Resume to their work place they tell me they arent even hiring but to just look elsewhere.
I'm so fucking tired of these people shitting on someone just for the sake of it. That's all it boils down to really, they look at someone who is in a worse situation and instead of helping him out of it they shit on him more to feel better.
In terms of job applications yeah, you basically need to know someone to get a job these days and I can't even get the people I know to at least hand in my CV.

>>49272463
>that's it. labor shortage
it's almost like the jeets don't want to do the shit jobs... which is weird, because i was informed very specifically the problem is whites don't do them. but that's weird because when Walmart anon posts, they're all white. and when i was at big grocery ltd, they're all white. and when they're doing their little dances, they're all white. how peculiar...

>>49272547
This is terminal American individualist mindset on display here. There are people who unironically think that anyone getting any kind of leg up or making any progress in the world is a threat to whatever influence or power they might hold. This is why the East is going to inevitably defeat the West in the coming decades. There is no desire for community, no empathy or thoughts for the well-being of others. It's crabs in a bucket all the way down, and it's going to implode what's left of our society.

>>49272658
I live in the UK and that mindset compiles itself alongside the general grumpy spiteful attitudes people have here already. At least americans pretend to be all happy and accepting of others, over here people will outright gas light you because their lives are so bad (not not as bad as yours). Sucks balls.

>>49270406
>implying thats not what sales at a high level is

>>49268678
physical pain

i think this is the archtypal behavior the tranners try to emulate

>>49272069
>close foreskin
>fill the bag
>go to bathroom
>drop it in the toilet

>>49272069
kek, used to do this.

>>49266877
You sound like the reason people hate White people

>>49268678
I remember this or something similar and funny thing is, it worked for whatever job she was getting.

>>49273617
its called jewish, and they are only 'white people' when it suits them

>>49270781
nice, anon. sounds like a fancy place ive never tried either of those before

>>49264906
>tfw relatives are still asking if I still work at same job
Bitch, this is best job I could possibly get and the economy is about to get fucked again.

>>49264853
LukasYla on twitter

>>49264906
>hires nigger trans woman

>>49264906
fuck capitalism

>inb4 not real capitalism

>>49272327
imagine how it looks from the other side lmao
>want to hire someone
>call him for interview
>he shows up an hour late, sweaty and dirty
>he mumbles something about the place being hard to find
>he stares at my tits the whole time

>>49266877
I bet your business will soon be bankrupt.

>>49273972
kek.

>>49272165
>>49271458
They don't want to flat out say they are not interested in you, so the way they have of rejecting you is tell you to "apply online and wait"
Just like when you approach a roastie at the bar and she tells you that "I need to go to the bathroom, and I'll be right back" to ditch you, because she can't tell you she doesn't desire to be in your presence

>>49274768
It’s actually a liability thing. That’s why companies ghost candidates. If you tell Jamal Dontravious La’Larceny that “we have decided to pursue other candidates and won’t be moving forward with your application,” he could theoretically claim unfair hiring practices and take the company to court. If they just ghost him instead, he has nothing to go on. There is nothing to litigate against because the company didn’t give him any information whatsoever. That’s why you apply for jobs, interview them, but then get radio silence. It’s so they don’t get sued.

>>49264942
>i own a farm
My dream. You unironically made it

>>49264906

>>49266877
I bet you don’t even use ground up infant testicles as lube when you fuck yourself with a broken oak branch you larping faggot

>Literally was easier for me to get bux than it was to get a shitty wagie job at a grocery store or McD's

Comfy NEETing it is then.

>>49268678
>me in 2008
Cringe!
>me now
Based!

>>49264888
>Most semen ends up in a sock
Do amerifags really? Just cum on toilet paper retards

Lmao, I learned early on that I'll never work for anybody else in my entire life. Fuck that. I'm working for myself only. I will never forget the time I waited in line for almost 8-10 hours for a job interview for the hiring officials to tell us that the process was already done and that they'll just call the remainder of us for a phone interview...obvious they already found their people and it was just a sympathy call at this point. Lmao, from there on out, I've taken it upon myself to work for myself. What a fucking waste.

>>49272300
>>49272338
She told me to use her name as a referral and I was so desperate for work at the time that I actually did it. Surprisingly absolutely nobody, it went nowhere. I had just moved across the country to work for a startup in Commifornia that went tits up only three months after the fact because the CEO was embezzling funds I later got a job at a multinational corporation so thankfully it worked out in the end.

>>49264906
>not telling the guy it's standard company policy to first put new potential employees to the test in a 3 month traineeship
>having him work his ass off for 14 to 16 hours a day
>after 3 months: aaaw dude so sorry, it didn't work out. we can't hire you right now, but here is your letter of recommendation

I run my own company and it still works like a charm here in Europe. I had people with fucking master degrees in computer sciene slaving away for weeks, while earning fucking minimum wage and doing tons of unpaid extra hours off the books. These idiots are not even angry, even so they are literally scammed out of precious time they never get back kek.

>>49264853
Pathetic little simp.
>>49264888
You lick my cum out of your sister's pussy.

>>49266963
You'd know this if you'd BUY MY FRICKING COOK BOOK.

>>49264853
HOLY SHIT, BROS
I THOUGHT THE JOB MARKET WAS GOOD,
WTF, JOE BIDEN?

>>49264888
kek digits deserved!

>>49264888
checked the ate ate ate

Hello folks, dont let those shillers fool ya. Invest only the trusted ecosystems! Like Fulbo Galaxy.

>Play-and-Earn game that is really fun to play
>Free to play Demo already available
>NFT Marketplace and tradable NFTs
>Professional team experienced at making mainstream games

>>49273738
lol

>>49264906
Oh god, this is giving me flashbacks fuck I hate Americans

>>49264906

Holy fucking kek

>>49264983
>No I am not autistic I have been tested and I am normal.

You shouldn't be on 4chan during work hours Mr Zuckerberg.

>>49266877
>Look, I'm a business owner and while I appreciate the moxy and balls on the kid

How to let everyone know you're an absolute cunt in one line. I can picture you already. I can tell you for a fact, that everyone laughs at you behind your back and thinks you're a massive fag.

>>49278777
>checked
>kekked
>green ID
You're going to make it, brother

>>49272089
?

>>49264942
I too enjoy playing minecraft.

>>49271569
based, how did you land the gig

>>49271569
Sounds pretty comfy, a 5 stars hotel won't have ghetto fights or any of such nonsense.
I am wondering, do you ever do other pursuits, such as reading a book, while in work hours?

Do you ever slack off?

>>49264906
truth

>>49276715
seems like a good trade, they probably badly need job experience, get a job soon after leaving, and you make ~$8k in unpaid wages

>>49266877
>der boomer
day of the pillow

>>49271569
Sounds comfy anon, I just got a similar gig as an overseer at a large grocery chain deliveries department.
I just stand behind a desk for 2-3 hours handing out the drivers their equipment and instructions when they arrive for their shift and then have 4 hours of total alone time before the first driver comes back from his shift.
There's free breakfast, lunch and dinner of high quality (feels good being Eurotrash) stocked to the brim in the massive amounts of fridges in the warehouse.
I come home from work well fed and well rested every single day. So glad I quit my teaching job. Even considering getting another WFH job to do in my 4 hours of paid downtime.

>>49266877
I'm a business owner also. You're a fucking idiot. If this guy walked into my office, he would get an offer within minutes to work in sales/marketing/business development depending on the hard skills on his resume. Do you realize how hard it is to get people to put themselves out there and cold approach clients? This guy is willing to wear a disguise and give out fake donut resumes; he'll certainly be willing to knock on doors, write emails or make phone calls, especially at high %.

In short: Fuck you. What is your industry, jackass?

you will never own a house
you will never unionize
you will never make millions on the stock market
you will never make it
cope seethe.

I want to start my own indie video game studio and make RTS/tycoon games.
How much capital do I need?

>>49264942
based

>>49264983
>I have been tested
if you have to test...

>>49273972
top audible kek

>>49271728
shirt says postmates which is exclusively US based. most likely california which explains the pageantry.

>>49282396
kid literally did everything the hardest way for clout. he's a gambler not a 10x employee.

>>In short: Fuck you

>>49272069
>>49273373
Mine's literally full right now.