/biz/ - Business & Finance

[Anonymous No.11550395]

>jobs require social skills
>interviews require social skills
>networking requires social skills
>sales requires social skills
>i have none
>dumber people than me have better paying jobs than me, earning 2 - 3 times (or more) what i do because they can hold a conversation and are popular
what do /biz/?

[Anonymous No.11550406]

Get a retail cuck job in sales and learn some social skills. spend a year doing it

[Anonymous No.11550418]

>>11550406
but i don't want to quit my current job

[Anonymous No.11550426]

You're a dumbass pretending they are smart. Social skills are something you can learn just like anything else, and if you're so fucking smart you'd figure out how to fake it until you make it. The so called dumbasses realized this long ago, so while you were pouring over books and bullshit that no one cared about, they were developing the only skill actually needed to get ahead in most scenarios: not being a fucking sperg. If you sperg too much and are so fucking smart go be a doctor where it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous No.11550443]

>>11550395
this>>11550426

being smart means you have the advanced ability to learn ANYTHING, the means social interaction rules not just math.

If you can learn to be the best at math, you can learn to be the best socially. If you are actually intelligent, and not just talented in a single subject area

[Anonymous No.11550452]

>>11550426
i'm in OPs boat. I have enough social skills to talk to people i already know. But there's the gap in meeting someone. opening your heart to them. much less talking to someone to shill them that you need a job or you wanna sell em something.

[Anonymous No.11550457]

I am going to sound like the 30 yo boomer but you need to practice man. Engage in deliberate practice when you read about it, test it out, practice learn from mistakes and refine your skills. Start with some good books (how to win friends and influence people is a great start) and then some small talk here and there. In the office, family friends, making new friends. Anyway it is a skill that you can learn so stop whinning!

[Anonymous No.11550468]

>>11550395
Social skills is more about not being a total asshole.

[Anonymous No.11550469]

just trade coins you dunce

[Anonymous No.11550486]

>>11550468
This is garbage, every top tier person I know is a huge asshole and people love them for it.

[Anonymous No.11550500]

>>11550457
That's not boomer that's solid advice man and we need to keep hearing it until we do it.

>>11550486
Do you mean assertive leader types?

[Anonymous No.11550511]

>>11550426
>If you sperg too much and are so fucking smart go be a doctor where it doesn't matter.
>>need to pass interviews to be accepted into med school

>>11550443
w-what if i have autism
>can't maintain eye contact, default is to look down
>say "umm" and pause a lot in conversations
>never know what to say tbqh

[Anonymous No.11550520]

>>11550500
They're at the top so they can afford to be an asshole. If you think being an asshole is going to be helpful, then go for it.

[Anonymous No.11550529]

>>11550520
Oops, meant to quote >>11550486

[Anonymous No.11550547]

>>11550395
Autism is a long-running l33t meme for the most part, lotta guys fall for the kike trap and self-diagnose like I did. There are well-trained, and poorly/untrained people.

uncensoredmath.com

If you really give a fuck about improving your social life you'll visit that site and read up, check forum and join discord chat. Social training for dummies. Enjoy. Don't bug me about little details like other anons I shill this to, just fucking read it and use your brain. Nothing in life has helped me as much as this site (used to be "manhoodacademy").

[Anonymous No.11550553]

>>11550500
>>11550486
>>11550520
>>11550529
They're at the top because they're an asshole. The most personable people I've ever met are assholes. I've seen people on the bottom that are the perfect asshole rise to the top really fucking fast. If you're just a miserable cunt, not to be confused with Chad asshole, then you are doomed.

[Anonymous No.11550578]

don't read trashy self-help books and social skills guides written by autismo "puas" larping as don juan, they'll only make you more of a freak. just talk to people

[Anonymous No.11550581]

>>11550553

"Just be an asshole and treat women badly" type of mentality at face value is only going to make these dudes lives worse. Might as well tell them to shoot for the stars while you're at it. All this advice does is create weird NPC-esque dudes playing hard tuff boy. Speaking from experience. You don't just DO these things. Fake it till you make it is the worst advice ever btw, it's why NPC is even a fucking meme to begin with. Fake, dumb fucks.

[Anonymous No.11550598]

>>11550395
Get a job in a restaurant. I worked at a chinese and Italian restaurant while I was in school. I learned how to make eye contact with people and I how to make small talk with them. I'm still kinda aspie, but I've gotten better with my social skills.

[Anonymous No.11550599]

>>11550511
I am autismal and I have no problem socializing or at least appearing social.

[Anonymous No.11550601]

>>11550581
I'm not a top level boss but I'm basically a right hand man kind of deal and most people like me, I still take it too far and or awkward sometimes but generally I am far more successful in my company now than I was before when I was a total sperg.
Living proof nigger

[Anonymous No.11550613]

>>11550578

yeah, which is why you faggots should join uncensoredmath discord group, talk to dudes who been there done that and can actually fucking HELP you

but no, I'll see this thread 5 times a week for the rest of my life. most of yalls advice is absolutely fucking awful.

>just talk to people

it's

not

that

fucking

simple

and

you

fucking

know

it

[Anonymous No.11550631]

>>11550613
>"I-I-I can't do it, I'm scared!"
cry more bitch boy.

you don't seem to have a problem voicing your "opinions" on 4chan. just act like you do on 4chan and you'll make it. obviously don't regurgitate shitty memes, just the being an asshole part of you that comes out while on here

[Anonymous No.11550636]

>>11550601
you didn't fake it till you made it, you spoke your fucking mind which brings relief. maybe you weren't a total sperg to begin with! you're lying to me if you tell me you're living proof by "faking it". If you do "fake it" then you're just a phony, fuck your supposed "social skills"

[Anonymous No.11550642]

>>11550631
LOL U MAD BITCH? XDXDXD COME AT ME BRUH

>>>>activatebitchasssarcasticgreentext

[Anonymous No.11550649]

>>11550631
>try to talk to people
>they dont want to talk
>they leave
Real easy

[Anonymous No.11550650]

>>11550395
definitely fucks black guys

[Anonymous No.11550654]

>>11550395
social skills are the blue pill. the red pill is autistically honing a skill for 5 FUCKING YEARS IN EVERY SPARE MOMENT OF YOUR FREE TIME. this opens up the doors that smart anons wish to go through. socializing can be for the npc's while you go through the fucking door to adventure. but first, hone a skill for 5 years with every moment you can spare. and don't take a damn day off.

[Anonymous No.11550675]

>>11550654
What kind of autistic skills are you talking about?

[Anonymous No.11550687]

>>11550649
like anything that matters, you need to practice in order to get good at it. you can continue being a sad sack of shit, or you can stop being an autistic cuck--maybe then you won't actually become a wizard or be accepted to Hogwarts on your 30th birthday

[Anonymous No.11550695]

in all seriousness I want to help you guys, but I tend to get really fucking asstwisted over this subject because I wasted over 20 years of my life being a self-diagnosing, lost, neurotic dipshit. I'll literally be here for hours if I keep replying because I genuinely fucking care about the suffering of men and want you all to know what mental freedom feels like by simply being comfortable in your own skin. take my advice, check out (all free, no crypto, no shill, no weird shit) the site I posted previously.

take care, niggers

[Anonymous No.11550696]

>>11550650
*BBC fucks asain men

Ftfy

[Anonymous No.11550703]

>>11550675
not autistic skills, singlemindedly and autistically improving upon a skill you have/want to have. it doesn't matter what the skill even is as long as it's something you want to do. just don't give up once you set it upon yourself improve this skill for 5 years in every waking moment of your time.

[Anonymous No.11550712]

>>11550687
You practice social skills as a kid when youre always around people
If it didnt work then its not gonna work when youre 24

[Anonymous No.11550792]

>>11550649
>>11550712
So figure out why they leave and try again. If you want to give up at the ripe old age of 24 go ahead but you’re going to have a pretty miserable life. Fucking homo.

[Anonymous No.11550883]

>>11550395
>tfw I will never get a job because I'm too honest and direct on interviews
When will people start hiring by actual skills rather than some fake background history?

[Anonymous No.11550899]

>can't communicate with other human beings
>call other people dumb and look down on them

Kill yourself you autistic loser. You are not smart.

[Anonymous No.11550914]

>>11550899
my gmat score says otherwise

[Anonymous No.11550928]

>>11550511
>>>
>Anonymous (ID: uri0XDyM) 10/27/18(Sat)18:17:55 No.11550529▶>>11550553

Had this. Wasted thousands of dollars on "social anxiety" therapy. Total waste and didn't work.

Someone gave me one piece of advice:
LOVE YOURSELF

Find a way to love yourself. All your problems stem from the fact that you hate yourself. Accept you as you are, and love yourself. No one will do it but you.

The shyness, the awkwardness will go away in under a year.

Trust me anon, I've been you.

[Anonymous No.11550953]

>>11550914
>mommy look I did a test it says I'm smart!!

Pathetic crutch. You cannot manipulate people, you are not smart. What are you going to talk about next, your IQ? You're a robot at most. A smart NPC perhaps.

[Anonymous No.11550972]

>>11550953
take it easy anon, OP didn't really mean anything bad. He just used that common expression when someone is frustrated "what's he got that i don't got?"

[Anonymous No.11550988]

>>11550395
Pretend to be social. Make a character that is outgoing. LARP as regular person. Put on the cape friend

[Anonymous No.11551005]

>>11550914
Sorry this anon >>11550899 is right, you are the definition of the Holden caufield NPC. Stop seeing yourself as better than others or else you will just live a miserable life. Commit to and serve others and you will find strength in yourself again.

[Anonymous No.11551019]

>>11550395
Okay, you want some practical advice? Start talking on the phone more. No, really. Ordering food? Call it in. Getting a taxi? Call for one. Want to talk to a friend? Call them. At work and the phone rings? Answer it.

If this sounds retarded to you, then all I can say is you're probably already pretty comfortable with this basic level of socialization. But for many people, evben this is tough. This is the baby step you are asking for. Start using the phone. After about a year of heavy use, you'll be comfortable with it. This will in turn make you more comfortable talking to people face to face. Text less. Face to face more.Even with your friends and such. Eschew the attraction of the written word for communication.

[Anonymous No.11551076]

>>11551019
>Start talking on the phone more. No, really. Ordering food? Call it in. Getting a taxi? Call for one. Want to talk to a friend? Call them. At work and the phone rings? Answer it.

OOO I love this advice. Thank you anon. I did something I feel terrible about to a door to door "salesperson" I had a near aspie-tier freak out trying to get rid of them. They were granted very pushy but I realize I have a lot to work on socially. I'm gonna do this advice man.

[Anonymous No.11551125]

I am in sales. I have made $200k ytd and.my pipeline is loaded for December.

I hate people. I am not social. I am straight up /pol.

In my experience, slick talkers and Chad's can sell something they have no clue about, but an autistic spazlord that can lay out a well designed product in a technical AND sales forward way can make the most money.

[Anonymous No.11551201]

>>11550395

[Anonymous No.11551406]

>>11550406
>Get a retail cuck job in sales and learn some social skills

It wont help, you'll just become the weird guy

[Anonymous No.11551431]

>>11550426
This. Social intelligence is extremely important.

[Anonymous No.11551466]

>>11551005
>you're not better than NPCs

Sounds like something an NPC would say.

Every interaction I have with them underscores the fact that I am better than them. I don't want to think like them, I don't want to have their interests, and I sure as fuck don't want to be them.

[Anonymous No.11551485]

>>11550578
Talk to who exactly?

Don't have friends and coworkers already know I'm socially retarded

[Anonymous No.11551540]

>>11550395
its not about being social. your co-workers dont give a shit.
its all about kissing your bosses ass.

[Anonymous No.11551563]

>>11550426
>go be a doctor where it doesn't matter

I've never seen a spergy doctor before. It certainly does matter because a doctor would be dealing with patients and other staff.

[Anonymous No.11551651]

>>11551485
I used to be socially retarded and had some social anxiety. I forced myself into awkward social situations. I would do things like force myself to go to bars alone and chat/party with complete strangers. Words can’t describe how painful it was at first, but I improved my social skills A LOT, got a lot more confident in myself, got some new friends, got laid and unironically had a ton of fun. Also, I started chatting with random people on the street, in shops, at the library, at my university etc. a lot more. I used to think that most people wouldn’t want to talk to me, that I was too awkward/weird etc. but most people want to meet new people. Several of my friends/acquaintances literally told me something along the lines of
> Anon, it really feels like you’ve really changed. What happened? I didn’t know how cool you were a couple of years ago.
Now I have no problems talking to people at parties, at work, at bars etc.

[Anonymous No.11551664]

>>11551485 #
I used to be socially retarded, had some social anxiety and really low confidence. I forced myself into awkward social situations. I would do things like force myself to go to bars alone and chat/party with complete strangers. Words can’t describe how painful it was at first, but I improved my social skills A LOT, got a lot more confident in myself, got some new friends, got laid and unironically had a ton of fun. Also, I started chatting with random people on the street, in shops, at the library, at my university etc. a lot more. I used to think that most people wouldn’t want to talk to me, that I was too awkward/weird etc. but most people want to meet new people. Several of my friends/acquaintances literally told me something along the lines of
> Anon, it really feels like you’ve changed. What happened? I didn’t know how cool you were a couple of years ago.
Now I have no problems talking to people at parties, at work, at bars etc.

[Anonymous No.11551665]

>>11550426
I'm a social idiot but I'm a doctor.

[Anonymous No.11551713]

>>11550452
>But there's the gap in meeting someone.
>opening your heart to them.
Jesus, dude. There's so middle ground. Just make a little small talk, crack some jokes.

[Anonymous No.11551794]

>>11551664
I've been doing that for several years, it doesn't fucking work.

[Anonymous No.11551861]

>>11551794
It 100% worked for me. Perhaps because my main issues were low confidence in social situations and social anxiety. I was never actually bad at socializing, I was just too afraid/anxious to do it.

[Anonymous No.11551893]

>>11551861
Yeah, because I didn't have anxiety or depression during middle and high school, yet nobody wanted to talk to me.

[Anonymous No.11551913]

>>11550883
>When will people start hiring by actual skills rather than some fake background history?
nobody wants to work with an autist, that's why.

[Anonymous No.11551973]

>>11551913
then enjoy having a psychopath as boss or coworker lol

[Anonymous No.11551975]

>>11550953
Look at this sociopath trying to feel better about himself

[Anonymous No.11552043]

>>11551125
how does one break into sales? I can probably get the spec listing spazlord side down. I assume you are working with products that are more commercially oriented, not cars or some shit where it all comes down to pointing out shiny baubles.

[Anonymous No.11552056]

>>11552043
Get on with an entry level gig with reviews for a good training program. Good salesmen are made and you’ll spend time learning to ask the right questions and listening really fookin well.

[Anonymous No.11552083]

>>11550395
>dumber people than me
proof is in the pudding. if theyre more successful than you, chances are they are smarter than you in atleast one or a couple ways

[Anonymous No.11552158]

>>11552083
>just be social breh

I am unwilling, not unable, I'd rather shovel shit alone so I can be alone with my train of thought and not have some bland dull normie try to act funny thinking he is Machiavelli.

[Anonymous No.11552175]

>>11550553
There's the impressionable asshole and just the asshole that no one wants to associate with because of their brash and rude attitudes. Trust me, being the impressionable asshole that makes people laugh at someone's expense makes people like you better. I've been the asshole who made people laugh and made some awkward by my comments and they all gravitated towards me. Due to some circumstances in my life that happened, I've suffered from depression and social isolation and I've kinda mellowed down and people don't take notice of me anymore and don't have that assholish attitude anymore and the difference is night and day. No one bats an eye or even will associate with you if you are some meek, down-to-earth guy. I don't know what it is about jokester assholes but people like to gravitate towards them.

[Anonymous No.11552189]

>>11552175
Meant for
>>11550581

[Anonymous No.11553377]

>>11550395
Get cashier job at small shop. Force yourself to talk with co-workers (about normalfag shit, NOT /pol/) when not standing on register.

[Anonymous No.11553387]

>>11552158
enjoy being poor

[Anonymous No.11553420]

>>11550426
Doctor is the worst job for bad social skills, good luck extracting clinically relevant datas out of people if you can't communicate with them, I don't even speak about having to deal with the family, your peers and the nurses.

Spergs should remain behind their computers.

[Anonymous No.11553636]

>>11553420
Lol this. Patients won’t even fucking talk to you. We have an autistic Canadian in our class and he’s so awkward and pts feel so uncomfortable around him. Any spergs that make it through either go straight to path or micro. Surgeons won’t tolerate you because you’re hard to get on with, and you’ll do bad in med because you can’t take a decent history.

“Do you drink?”
“I-I used to a bit, but not anymore. I- I swear.....”
“Ok then. Nil alcohol hx”

Pts crp and lfts are sky high and guy is jaundice but the sperg is too literal to read bt the lines.

[Anonymous No.11553672]

>>11550395
Get fucked, lmao

[Anonymous No.11553730]

>>11550511
unironically low test

people who make eye contact and 'know what to say' dont do it because they know what they're doing, they just dont care

[Anonymous No.11554002]

>>11551664
>force myself to go to bars alone and chat/party with complete strangers
how do you start the conversation?
>>see group talking to each other
>>interrupt them
i don't think i can be more entertaining than their original conversation before i interrupted them. worried they will eventually ask where my friends are

>chatting with random people on the street, in shops, at the library
strangers or people you knew? how did you start the conversations?

[Anonymous No.11554049]

>>11550406
Retail made me hate talking to people way more than I already did and I felt my brain rotting away
0/10 would not recommend

[Anonymous No.11554299]

>>11550452
Meeting people is easier since they're a new challenge and could be interesting and have something new to tell you. Most people get boring quickly and are unbearable to talk to regularly.

[Anonymous No.11555371]

>>11554299
how do you meet new people in the first place?

[Anonymous No.11555450]

>>11550395
Bitcoin trader not require social skills
it require ansocial skills

[Anonymous No.11556459]

>>11553730
interesting

[Anonymous No.11557054]

>>11550395
Just join a local Toastmasters club, they're everywhere I used to suck at talking to people, then I read How to win friends & Influence people by dale carnegue and realized it was important for life & business in general.
Then I Join Toastmasters and my life is infinitely better because of the skills I've gotten there

[Anonymous No.11557323]

>>11557054
thanks
i've started toastmasters actually, but i'm stuck on coming up with a speech topic for my 2nd speech (already did the intro speech)

75% of the speeches seems to be motivating type of speech with anecdotes about their life

i can't motivate anyone, my life is a mess

[Anonymous No.11557389]

>>11550914
you got really good at taking tests but you fail at the most basic human survival instinct. If we didn't live in the modern world you would have been culled a long time ago. Social intelligence is a thing as much as autistic neets like to pretend its not. Being likeable is just as important if not more important than raw talent or skill in many occupations. You claim to be smart and you may be, yet you foolishly cling to the notion that everyone else who does better than you is subhuman and your skills and intelligence alone will make you successful then get frustrated and post here when it inevitably doesn't work out the way you expected it to.

[Anonymous No.11557397]

Lift weights and stop watching porn if you aren't doing those two things already. At least some of your anxiety will subside.

[Anonymous No.11557432]

>you'll never suckle on those titties as she rides your dick

[Anonymous No.11557460]

>>11557397
This, boxing/lifting weights and nofap/noporn makes confident if you haven't do it before. I did this when I was on college and my confidence skyrocketed but unfortunately this is like any other addiction where you can fall again in the same cycle of no working out and watching porn/masturbating (like am I right now).

[Anonymous No.11557508]

>>11557397
>>11557460

This is a lie.

[Anonymous No.11557626]

>>11557508
It won't necessarily make you confident by itself, but feeling healthier and stronger should help with that.

[Anonymous No.11557679]

>>11557323
Your taste in women is top shelf though. Keep posting bro.

[Anonymous No.11557891]

>>11557679
shes perfect

[Anonymous No.11557925]

>>11551406
This. In all my years of trying to socialize it has never worked. You will always be an outsider if you're too weird.

[Anonymous No.11558073]

>>11551563
Many, many surgeons have terrible social skills because they have to go through six year residencies working 80+ hours a week.

[Anonymous No.11558142]

>>11557891
She's up there for sure

[Anonymous No.11558347]

>>11558142
how much does it cost per hour for a girl like that?

[Anonymous No.11558637]

>>11557397
i lift weights

i try to stop watching porn, haven't for 2 weeks now
the most i ever did was 1 month, and tbqh didn't feel any different

[Anonymous No.11558724]

>>11550426
This.
Steve Jobs didn’t write one line of code.

[Anonymous No.11558793]

>>11558637
Same here, stopped watching porn indefinitely. That's the trick for me, not to have a certain "goal" of how long I will go. I'm more motivated to flirt with girls since I don't have my easy dopamine fix.

[Anonymous No.11559127]

>>11551406
Nah . I quit my software dev job and went into sales. It was a huge change and on the beginning it was really awkward and my sales were poor. With time it become easier to connect with people and if people like you they buy from you. I have my wage + commission with each sale. I don't work full time but I don't really need to. Im not making as much as I did in it but I don't have to bring work home and do additional 3-4 hours per night because mah deadlines and because senior pajeet requested last minute changes. I also have more time for myself and gf. We were in Italy in summer and currently in Denmark. You will find that in many jobs it isn't the guy who has the best technical knowledge that has the highest pay , but the one that makes all the people like him.

[Anonymous No.11559137]

>>11550613
>>just talk to people
>it's
>not
>that
>fucking
>simple
>and
>you
>fucking
>know
>it

I'm not autistic, but my therapist once tols me he thinks I am close as someone can get to having Asperger's without actually having it. He actually held up both his hands, raised one and said "let's say on this end is Asperger's," and then raised the other one "and this end is someone with extremely good social skills... Now, this is you." And then he brought the hand representing good social skills all the way to the autistic hand and was like "you don't have have Asperger's, but you're right here. You are about as close as anyone can get to it."

And you know what?

I spent until I was 21 not knowing why people reacted the way did to me. Without a bunch of effort, my voice would crack and I would start to whisper in conversation with people. I actually thought one shouldn't show emotions, so i made an effort not to laugh or smile until I was like... 18, 19?

I once liked a girl when I was 21 and so of course I made fun of her at a university event until she told me she was going to cry and called me a jerk. I immediately left and cried in a bathroom.

Some things helped me:

1. I wondered aloud why people kept saying it was weird that I wore heavy jeans to a university running event and my philosophy professor answered "social norms". Then I thought, norms are rules. And I realized, there are rules to socializing with people. It's not just that people do things and then you do things and then they do things and then they don't talk to you anymore- there are really rules. And many of them, nobody will tell you, so you have to watch like a hawk. Look at people's faces and body language and see what they do.

[Anonymous No.11559144]

>>11559137
2. My manager at an internship was a big intimidating, masculine, bald man but his voice was pretty high and he was super polite and always smiling. I instantly felt comfortable around him and realized, I wanted other people to feel comfortable around me. I ended up trying to copy how behavior. I went too far and people thought I was gay and way too retardedly polite but it was better than being silent except for when I would make fun of people, thinking that I was being super funny and bonding by talking shit to them.

3. I moved to NYC and went on a bunch of dates and paid attention to my date's behavior. Usually, I didn't know how to react in each situation- I was just doing and saying whatever I could think of, sometimes quite nervously. After each date, I tried to think: when she smiled, what happened right before? What happened right after? There were times someone would laugh and smile and keep talking, and other times they would laugh and smile and say they "uhh, have to go", and after a while I started to notice when my dates were turned off by something I said. E.g., I had some mice in NY apartment once and noticed some "cringe" smiles and some dead conversations after I kept mentioning them, so I stopped talking about the mice in my apartment.

I also noticed that I get treated better if I wear clothes that fit and look clean so i started wearing collared shirts, paying attention to what people online think looks good (for the love of God, do not ever fucking wear square-toed dress shoes or boots. they look so fucking bad and you look like a clueless dork).

[Anonymous No.11559226]

>>11559144

Now I have thousands of matches on tinder and can keep a conversation going.

As people talk, pay attention to what you can ask about and share about. Think of each topic as a branching tree, like a binary tree or something. And you can transition between topics by bringing up a relevant idea, asking a question, etc. Have some basic ideas about current events and your own interests ready. And get interested or at least about normie things.

[Anonymous No.11559240]

>>11559226
>>11559144
And yes, when I had mice in my apartment, I really did talk about them on dates a few times until I noticed a pattern women seemed like they checked the conversation and didn't respond to my texts about meeting again when they had previously seemed enthusiastic about meeting me. This is where "have something to talk about" can go wrong, because you think that something important to you is something other people care about, when 1. they actually don't or 2. It's actually a huge turn off. Make sure you have some sign someone is interested before you talk about yourself or your own interests and watch them like a hawk to see how they react as you talk, do they smile, do they turn? Do they get quiet? Do they start giving one word answers or "uhuh, okay, yeah, um sure," and just not as you continue (maybe they want to change the subject but are too polite?), do they change the subject themselves when you stop talking? Nobody can tell you what these reactions mean. You just have to learn through trial and error- first you might not recognta bad reaction. E.g., if someone is smiling but not contributing but they want to leave earlier than expected and don't respond to your texts? Think about the entire date start to end. Even if you don't understand what one of their behavior changes meant, the fact that a change occurred at all is something to remember and look back on.

[Anonymous No.11559247]

>>11550395

Is a person who can't multiply 5 by 4 smart? Neither is a person who can't hold down a conversation well enough to get a job. Don't fall for the IQ meme, intelligence is your combined ability to perform all socially valued functions. Just because you can perform differential equations in the shower and solve a rubiks cube in 5 seconds doesn't make you smart.

[Anonymous No.11559283]

>>11559240
For example, I didn't know what it meant when someone's face changed after I brought up the mice in my apartment, but after enough promising dates that ended early and didn't get another date, I kept thinking... Whatdid I do differently in these dates? What were their reactions during the dates? Seems like something was different after I mentioned the mice, but I don't know what it was. What if on my next two dates I don't mention mice? Okay, went better. Well, since we've had two dates, maybe I'll mention mice on the third date... And now she doesn't want to meet. Must be the mice. I guess the face changes I kept seeing were some kind of displeasure or disapproval? And now I know what someone looks like when they are not happy with what I said, so maybe I can backpedal and save future dates- even learning to backpedal was a process or trial and error- basically science experiments, imo.

So yeah, if you think it's not that simple, you're right. It's not just "go talk to people". It's "go talk to lots of people and see when they react to shit and then how they treat you later" (do they leave early? Do they want to meet again? Was there something their face changes had in common with others how also left early or didn't want to meet again?) and look for patterns.

This is the fucking link marine board where autists look for patterns in partnerships. It's the same on dates- pay attention and remember what happens, even if you don't understand it or know what to do, so later you can form a hypothesis and then validate your hypothesis on future people.

A big city like NYC is great for this because everyone is an experimental subject who can be thrown away afterward- you can always meet new people and never interact with most of them again if you don't want to - don't experiment on your friends and coworkers.

[Anonymous No.11559315]

>>11559144
definitely autism. why else would someone socialized in this society have to study it as if they were a martian. or there's something fundamentally wrong with a society that doesn't socialize its members

[Anonymous No.11559335]

>>11559315
I was homeschooled

[Anonymous No.11559350]

>>11559335
I'm 29 now but I basically got my early social skills from gamefaqs and 4chan around the ages of 13-16

[Anonymous No.11559441]

>>11559350
checks out. good luck to you, but you won't be a normie until you've internalized all these social mores you're a/b testing like an autist. then you'll finally not only live up to those norms, but be a validating node. work judging, i.e., evaluating the worth of things around you (weather, people's clothes, voice, demeanor, etc) into your conversations.

[Anonymous No.11559510]

>>11559441
>work judging, i.e., evaluating the worth of things around you (weather, people's clothes, voice, demeanor, etc) into your conversations.
Good tip. Thank you!

[Anonymous No.11559637]

>>11559510
here's another tip. women want in a man someone to whom they can delegate decision making about big things, that is. they still want to make decisions, but in the end, only superficially decorative ones. to allow you to make judgments, decisions, for them, they need to trust your judgment, which is why they observe and test you. A weak man, one who can't make decisions, who cannot judge and assert his evaluations of things, someone who cannot deal with the tempest that is their mood and ultimately their source of indecision in THEMSELVES will not be trusted, and you will not only be disliked by women, but actively hated. You'll be like a furniature man who shows up on moving day with a broken arm and in a wheelchair.

[Anonymous No.11560433]

>>11559144
so how did you get dates?

more importantly, how do you get dates when you're ugly, short and don't have a lot of money?

[Anonymous No.11560493]

>>11550426

Correct.

Presentation is half the battle. And presentation means social skills.

[Anonymous No.11560562]

>>11550547
Be honest, this is your site that you're shilling. It sucks dick and you seem like the kind of guy I'd want to punch in the face.

[Anonymous No.11560578]

>>11551431

Social skills =/= Social intelligence

[Anonymous No.11560590]

>>11551664
>I used to think that most people wouldn’t want to talk to me, that I was too awkward/weird etc

They don't and you are. They probably just reciprocated to be polite

[Anonymous No.11560612]

>>11550443

this. if you're actually smart then you can just get really good at programming where nobody cares

[Anonymous No.11560654]

>>11550395
culture yourself with the comedy of Bill Burr and Sam Hyde, and copy their personalities. worked for me

[Anonymous No.11560673]

It doesn't seem like intelligence and technical knowledge are highly valuable attributes in a 56% society. I mean look at any american product:
-cars: built like shit, fall apart after 2 years
-software: shit code littered with bugs and exploits
-finance industry: fly-by night scams
-buildings: if it's a residential house it's built out of particle board and will fall apart in 10 years. If it's a concrete office/condo something will happen to water or drain pipes and the entire building will get flooded.

The ultimate red pill is 56%ers think that smart competent people are weird and creepy. That's why the smartest people who do most of the physical work at any american corporation are foreigners. The 56%ers think they're far too above doing coding or engineering themselves and should tell others what to do. I mean in a way I feel kind of bad for autistic 56% spergs: on one hand you get fucked over by your schooling system and you literally can't compete with foreigners in terms of knowledge and skill, but on the other hand you get cucked out of any management/hr/marketing/diversity/other_useless_bs position by your own 56% compatriots.

[Anonymous No.11561065]

>social skills thread
>/biz/ anons get mildly sensitive and walk on egg shells about it

lol what's the matter anons? If youre so smart why cant you learn to be sociable and leave a good first impression

kek

[Anonymous No.11561280]

>>11550883
HR and employers love to have their asses kissed. They think making ridiculous demands on qualifications gives them better applicants. In reality, anyone actually meeting the requirements would be bored to tears and/or well underpaid.

Then it's almost as though it's a shock when honest applicants a few margin below the marks out perform their best staff.

[Anonymous No.11561292]

OP here
just reread how to win friends and influence people (started last week)

how do i use this info to improve my social skills? i don't have many opportunities to talk to people tbqh

some days at work i go to my desk and don't speak to a single person

[Anonymous No.11561337]

>>11560673
All of those are symptoms of a larger problem. Everyone is cutting corners.

[Anonymous No.11561604]

>>11554049
Recently got fired from a retail cuckjob. Thank god i'd rather live in a tent then dealing with wagecucks again.

[Anonymous No.11561744]

>>11557626
I felt no different during or after 90 days NoFap w/weight training
ur maymay dum lol

[Anonymous No.11561900]

>>11560673

Americans focus more on marketing than anything else desu. And they're pretty good at that desu.

[Anonymous No.11561971]

>>11557323
11557323
Awesome, I've have a triple crown award from Toastmasters, and I've realized that at the end of the day everyone has to create their own style if you're not the motivating type or don't like to make those types of speeches then talk about whatever subject you do like.
You'll find your own improved style take bits & pieces from people you do like and take your favorite tactics from them.
Pick a topic you
A) like
B) are knowledgeable about
C) Interested in and want to have an excuse enough to learn more about
I'm not sure if you're still on the traditional toastmasters program or have moved on to the new pathways program but in the old one in one of the original ten speeches mentions the purpose of speeches
To Inform
To entertain
To motivate etc.
Anyways the most important thing is that you consistantly use every chance you get to speak: Prepared Speeches, improvised speeches and even the session roles are amazing practice and make use of the areas of opportunity the evaluators give you everytime. Use it in your daily life for a more dramatic effect say hi to people casually as you pass them on the street, say good afternoon to the cashier/store clerk to practice speaking to people and that way having your skill level the sharpest it can be.
When I started I used to make conversations on the bus, and even started picking girls up if I ever saw a hot girl. Just use seemingly vacant or otherwise mundane timeslots to practice bettering your speaking game

[Anonymous No.11561990]

trust in jesus-the truth-for eternal life.
there is only suffering and confusion
when you believe in the greatest illusion.

[Anonymous No.11562058]

>>11561292
Start eating lunch with people or something jeez, the biggest mistake you can make is not talk to anyone at work

[Anonymous No.11562081]

just meditate and stop desiring things or being confused

the system that you don't even like profits when you are like this

that's why it is afraid of the truth

lord have mercy.
i pray that the devil in the form of random thoughts is truly extinguished for all.

[Anonymous No.11562105]

>>11561292
Talk to the people who pass by your desk & just start learning their names, people love the sound of their own names, as it makes them feel important & valued.
-Use their names while you speak to them & repeat it to them the first time they mention their names to you so use associate their face & name much easier because most people don't make an effort of trying to remember and use bad memory as an excuse
- Learn what others you meet are passionate about and try to understand why they're passionate about those things through their own perspective by asking them open end/probing questions so you develop a genuine understanding and aprectiation for the people around you.
People love talking about things THEY love and since everyone has their own perspective you'll usually hear new and interesting things and your world will seem more colorful and diverse having heard from many different people and new ways about thinking about things: Example: Hey why do you like playing the violin?, How did you decide to work hear?,
What's your plan for life?, What are you passionate about?, Where you from?, Ever been out of town?, How was that like?
Pretty much avoid Yes or No questions as that quickly kills conversations and usually lead to nowhere

[Anonymous No.11562281]

>>11559127
tried to do this by starting in car sales but no cunt will give me a chance even though i get to 2nd interviews

[Anonymous No.11562734]

>>11550395
stop drinking flouridated water. detox. thank me later

[Anonymous No.11562763]

Being able to talk to people isnt even enough.
You have to play the social game, which is much more than just talking, its kissing the ass of everyone above while covering your own

[Anonymous No.11563545]

>>11550395

No one was born to an akward basement dweller.

Get a job in sales. Maybe in telemarketing first (Yes I know it's one of the shittiest jobs in the world) BUT you'll rewarded with so much more than money.

I used to work with telemarketing for about 3 years and could see that my abilities within small talk, talking to all kinds of people, in general being 'likeable' and more trustworthy grew substantially, and today I still use what I learned back then almost everyday.

[Anonymous No.11563849]

>>11561971
thanks, i am on the new pathways program
i think i'll try to do an informational speech

thanks for the advice

>>11562058
i don't think anyone wants to eat lunch with me
>get invited once or twice while i was new at work
>they realize i didn't say a single word
>don't get invited again

[Anonymous No.11563894]

>>11562105
thanks, i will try to use these suggestions and examples

>Example: What's your plan for life?, What are you passionate about?,
one of the problems i have with this is i don't have good answers for these questions. worried what to say if i'm asked these questions back

i don't have a good plan for life and i'm not passionate about anything tbqh

[Anonymous No.11564016]

>>11563545
>work in sales
Its not just about skills, but will.
I did telesales and quit after a month cos i couldnt understand why people would buy useless shit just cos i asked them to over the phone.

[Anonymous No.11564040]

>>11564016

The key to selling is to create a need for your product.

Most people think that if you have a good product, people will buy it. But in reality people will only buy your product, if they feel they need your product.

The same basic psychology applies to many other aspects of life, both privately and in business, which is why experience from sales is very useful no matter what you do.

[Anonymous No.11564081]

>>11563894
She's beautiful

[Anonymous No.11564434]

>>11550426
>if you're so fucking smart you'd figure out how to fake it until you make it.
yeah maybe if you're a piece of shit faggot. if you're actually smart you'll find a way to make it without faking it. I can't wait till the next recession when all these fake it till you make it types are homeless. fake it till you make it is a cancer eating away at modern society. everything is going to shit primarily because of that mindset.

[Anonymous No.11565276]

Just be yourself

[Anonymous No.11565374]

>>11565276

[Anonymous No.11565568]

>>11564040
There is no need for many products

[Anonymous No.11565803]

>>11550443
learning how to be retarded is only something a truly retarded person can perform consistently and comfortably, for it to be worth their effort. this constitutes "socializing" with the normies.

[Anonymous No.11565807]

>>11550395

My crypto dream has always been to titty fuck this demon

[Anonymous No.11565887]

I know a hungarian gipsy in Budapest who makes 3k EUR from a part time desk job, few hours of work.

NEPOTED.COM

[Anonymous No.11566264]

>>11560612
You still need to pass the interviews

[Anonymous No.11566327]

>>11550426
Lmao THIS, social retard pseudo intellectuals eternally BTFO. The only career path for autists was programming, now even that requires working on a team and doing agile meetings every morning. If you were smart you would realize, gee if I want to get ahead I need to learn to interact with people instead of “reeeeee fucking normies! I’m so much more intelligent!” I hate interacting with 95% of people and think small talk is stupid, but I sure as shit saw the value in being able to interact with coworkers and women. 0 pity for those too afraid to grab life by the balls and make the necessary changes.

[Anonymous No.11566627]

>>11559127
>went into sales
>commission
There are fates worse than death, Raziel.

[Anonymous No.11566804]

incels scare me and I am a girl. Like I don't want to be working with people who look like they are about to rape me.

[Anonymous No.11566848]

>>11566327
How does one change though

[Anonymous No.11566906]

>>11550395

Hi OP. Is your problem lack of social skills, or too much social anxiety?

[Anonymous No.11566935]

>>11566906
Both tbqh

[Anonymous No.11566938]

>>11550395
Obtain these skills so you will be qualified for these positions or get a job for braindead retards.

[Anonymous No.11567134]

>>11566938
But how do I obtain these skills

>tfw coworkers that all went into finance all had good social skills and were very popular (also better looking than me)

[Anonymous No.11568062]

[Anonymous No.11568851]

>>11566804
poor bait

[Anonymous No.11569229]

>>11564081

[Anonymous No.11569469]

Clubs & activities
Social gathering places
Public spaces
The streets

Literally get the fuck out of the house, every day. Go, look at people. Imagine that they are like you.

Out there, those people, that is the real world.

Images and video of people on the screens you look at are not a reflection of reality.

[Anonymous No.11569547]

>>11550928
this is very true

[Anonymous No.11569586]

>>11550426
>there was never a more accurate post on biz

[Anonymous No.11570646]

Bump

[Anonymous No.11570873]

>>11550395
>people dumber than me
>I have no social skills
Pick one you autistic faggot

[Anonymous No.11570918]

>>11570873
>equating social skills to intelligence

[Anonymous No.11571171]

>>11569469
>Social gathering places
>Public spaces
>The streets
How will looking at people in these places help?
Or are you implying that I try talking to people? A lonely stranger going up to others?

[Anonymous No.11571174]

>>11550395

[Anonymous No.11571401]

Bump

[Anonymous No.11572139]

>>11565276
i am though

[Anonymous No.11572186]

>>11555371
ignore your wallet and go outside faggot

[Anonymous No.11572290]

>>11563849
I am quiet myself. Try to realize that for some people being social is a kind of work in itself. Once I started looking at it like that, a conversation as an opportunity, something which takes real effort, things started to fall into place. You will find queues and get better at not being awkward. You might find some other people who are awkward too, but in a way that compliments your own sort of awkwardness, or you'll find some people who just accept that you're the off one. If someone brings it up around others, acknowledge in a friendly manner that you are aware of it. You might even find some humor in it.

[Anonymous No.11572485]

>>11572186
go outside where? and how do i meet people outside?

[Anonymous No.11572620]

>>11572485
Ya better go to a bar, attend classes to some hobbie ya have, exercise with folks, inscribe in groups like, there's social skills groups that might catch yer interest

[Anonymous No.11572647]

>>11572485
jus go out there, suffer and reflect on the outcome of your actions, think how to better yaself, don't be afraid, be mindful about stressful situations, becos there's gonna be plenty, but if ya trump the odds, you'll feel like a winna

[Anonymous No.11572719]

>>11572647
Ya might even win the heart of some broad, I know I did, and I am no Casanova, and was really bad at social situations

[Anonymous No.11572750]

>>11572485
Ah heard that it was usefull to just go out and ask women their numbers to overcome social anxiety

[Anonymous No.11573152]

>>11572620
thanks

actually, i do take dance classes. but, I don't talk to a single person there
>small class
>literally one 9/10 girl in the class
>always overhear the good looking guys talking to girls and making them laugh. wonder what they say
>i don't say a thing to anyone
>i'm always first out the door, seems some people hang back as i see few people in the parking lot with me leaving. but i don't want to stick around and try to come up with ways to start and then carry a conversation

>go to a bar
aren't people there with their friends?

trying to find more group classes to attend tbqh. but nothing interests me that much

[Anonymous No.11573182]

>>11572647
>>11572719
>>11572750
thanks

>Ah heard that it was usefull to just go out and ask women their numbers to overcome social anxiety
I did read that one of the founders of CBT, Albert Ellis who has a PhD in clinical psychology from Columbia did something like that
>At age 19, already showing signs of thinking like a cognitive-behavioral therapist, he forced himself to talk to 100 women in the Bronx Botanical Gardens over a period of a month. Even though he did not get a date, he reported that he desensitized himself to his fear of rejection by women

[Anonymous No.11573727]

>>11550426
Stolen from India, brought to England
Said he was shitting on arrival
Shilling for survival
Said he was a Pajeet Soldier
Win the war for India
Said he was a, poo pee pee, poo poo pee pee
poo pee pee pe, pee pee poo pee, poo pee pee
poo pee pee poo poo pee pee
Woe pee pee yo, yo yo poo yo poo yo pee
Pajeet Soldier, Shittin' through the land woo ooh
Said he wanna ran, then you wanna hand
Shittin' through the land, yea, yea
Said he was a Pajeet Soldier
Win the war for India
Pajeet Soldier, Shitstained Rasta
Shittin on arrival, Shilling for survival
Driven from Dubai
To the heart of the Manchester
Singing, poo peeyoy, poo poo peeyoy
Woe peepeeyo, yo yo woy yo woy yo yoy
Woy peeyoy, woy woy peeyoy
Woy peepeeyo, yo yo poo yo poo yo yoy
Troddin' through London
In the arms of India
Troddin' through Scotland, a Pajeet Soldier
Shittin on arrival, Shillin for survival
Pajeet Soldier, shitstained Rasta
Woe pee pee, poo poo pee pee
Woe pee yeo yo, yo yo poo yo poo yo peeyoe

[Anonymous No.11574028]

bump

[Anonymous No.11574481]

>>11562081
trying to meditate more tbqh

[Anonymous No.11574581]

>>11550988
thanks, it's hard to fake it tbqh

[Anonymous No.11574655]

do i want biz to make it?