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/biz/ - Business & Finance


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>> No.17842043
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17842043

yotsuba a shit
stock market a shit
orange a shit

>> No.17842048

i mean, i could always invest my money in my business, but that's no fun

>> No.17842055

losers play with numbers on a screen. I'll just enjoy the brass falling through my fingers. Get fucked.

>> No.17842056
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17842056

Are we actually hitting breakers today or no?

>> No.17842059
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17842059

>>17842043
Yotsuba a cute
everything will be OK

>> No.17842061

>he sold the bottom

>> No.17842064

>>17842056
Yes.

>> No.17842065
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17842065

>>17842056
I fucking hope so

>> No.17842069
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17842069

>> No.17842073
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17842073

Please god let it go red today, i can only jerk off when the world is burning around me nowdays

>> No.17842076

>peak panic
That's July or November. Possibly both if we get the pandemic peak in July and then Trump wins in November because Bernie and Biden died of COVID-19 or something equally stupid and godawful.

>> No.17842078
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17842078

its ogre

>> No.17842079
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17842079

thoughts on etoro?

>> No.17842080

I hate how weak my hands are. I bought puts five minutes before close on Friday but instantly lost $500 and continued to lose more every millisecond. Got scared and sold at a loss. I'm still up majorly this month, but I'm pretty sure that could have been my best win yet if I didn't sell. I honestly kinda deserve that for going against the common rule of not buying options at EOD when volatility is the highest.

>> No.17842082

>>17842073
>>17842065

>> No.17842083
File: 144 KB, 640x747, 7qd1v939616z.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842083

2 HOURS TO MARKET OPEN

MY PUTS ARE READY

>> No.17842088
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17842088

I'm out at the bell bros
I'm not holding bags for 3-5 years

>> No.17842089

>>17842014
What happens to PUT/CALL orders if the stock market is shut down or suspended?

>> No.17842095
File: 232 KB, 1713x819, Nikkei.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842095

Reminder that 30 years later Japan still hasn't hit the numbers they touched in the late 80s.

>> No.17842100
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17842100

>>17842056

>> No.17842103

>>17842043
orange ya glad?

>> No.17842105

Thinking of buy gold/silver in the short run.

>> No.17842109

I miss bear posting, when everyones a bear the bears get less smug :(

>> No.17842114

Good time to buy in now? I plan to do monthly 1k purchases for the next 35 years until I retire

>> No.17842117

The candle must burn.

>> No.17842121
File: 2.04 MB, 1710x959, VnwAIPT.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842121

SOON

>> No.17842127

noob here

is it gonna be a blood bath today?

>> No.17842132

/r/personalfinance and /r/investing are telling me to keep calm and hold, so that's exactly what I'll be doing. Don't think I'll be trusting a bunch of NEET virgins from 4chan over prudent financial professionals from Reddit, no sir

>> No.17842134

>>17842079
PLEASE SIT ON MY FACE

>> No.17842136
File: 978 KB, 1004x669, 1584017290412.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842136

posting in epic bread

>> No.17842137

>>17842127
nigga we're starting almost 10% down you really got to ask

>> No.17842149
File: 17 KB, 379x388, How I strangle fucking niggers.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842149

>AMD up +10% during day
>AMD down -10% premarket
Fuck aftermarket kikes.

>> No.17842155
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17842155

>>17842127

>> No.17842159
File: 65 KB, 1000x563, I dun geddit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842159

I dun geddit. Market only goes up?

>> No.17842162

>>17842095
>the 40 year bag holder

>> No.17842163

>>17842127
It already is

>> No.17842168
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17842168

>>17842132
>Please remain and hold the bags i promise i'll be right back

Gotta love that advice

>> No.17842170

>>17842114
I mean if you're gonna do what you said, sure. Market conditions are a moot point to you.

>> No.17842174
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17842174

>>17842109

>> No.17842177

Oil down almost 10% at 29.xx

>> No.17842182

>>17842114
>now

I would wait until any new enforcement action from the US government hits, at a minimum
the market most certainly hasn't priced in a nationwide quarantine just yet

>> No.17842185

>>17842137
haha hopefully btc goes down

>> No.17842191

someone will come out on top of this shit one day and will be revered as a god

>> No.17842206

>>17842159
Aye but i goes up in reverse when it turns red.

>> No.17842207

When will they completely shut the NY subway and London Underground?

>> No.17842213
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17842213

>> No.17842217

Genuinely happy how low the stocks are getting, going to start building a new dividend growth portfolio in march.

Which shares are you watching, lads?

My main ones:

Britvic
Greggs
Games Workshop
Countryside Properties
Disney

>> No.17842218

When to sell SQQQ ? How high can it go really

>> No.17842221
File: 138 KB, 834x390, 1584334312948.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842221

>>17842059
I don't think it will be
I think I gotta sell my macdolan and microsoft and maybe costco... sell low or be a bag holder, damn doomers

>> No.17842222

>>17842162
It's ok though, those fuckers live like 35 years longer than the average Western bagholder.
Can't wait to see BOJ get fucked. They own like 50% of the stocks over there.
I wonder what economic chaos in Japan looks like.

>> No.17842223
File: 250 KB, 1080x1638, Polish_20200316_115045914.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842223

>>17842014
bought this on friday at 51€, was at 95€ 1 hour ago, now at 75€. should I hold?
Their portfolio is looking juicy, it's a german company that got a government contract for 10k respirators and are also market leaders in gas masks and protective clothing

>> No.17842225

>>17842191
You mean like FUCKING ANTHONY who lost 1/2 a million.

>> No.17842226

>>17842095
and they never will, just like DOW ever hitting 28k again is a pipe dream, it's a Bubble on a Bubble in another Bubble

>> No.17842227
File: 213 KB, 720x1560, Screenshot_20200316-072012_Robinhood.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842227

>>17842014
Did...did you think stonks went up?

>> No.17842232

>>17842207
few days i guess

>> No.17842234

>>17836357

Linking

>> No.17842237

>>17842191
>revered as a god
Their brain will be pulled out through their nose, their organs harvested, and their body dumped in a cave in the desert nobody will ever find?

>> No.17842245

>>17842207
even seoul hasnt shut the subway down

>> No.17842246

Cure on the horizon by Aussie lab. Have hope!

>> No.17842249

>>17842217
A norf post if ever I saw one lad.

>> No.17842257

>>17842217
April*

>> No.17842270
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17842270

>>17842206
b-but markets only go up...

>> No.17842281
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17842281

AND THE HE SAID *WHEEZE* "YOU CAN'T TIME THE MARKET"

>> No.17842283

>>17842207
They'd just lock down the city at that point

>> No.17842292

>>17842095
it literally never even reached its crash bottom till 2015

>> No.17842300

>>17842218
All the dump experienced is likely only half of the total dump, at minimum. It has quite a bit of room to grow

>> No.17842303

who else here DGX, LH, QGEN, TMO bulls?

>> No.17842307

>Some chink want to eat pangolin with his bat soup
>Whole economy crash with no survivor

I never asked for this

>> No.17842308

>>17842281
>I can't time the market!

>> No.17842312

>>17842207
They will wait for things to start getting really bad, so that the news of people dying is scarier than the news of shutting the subway. Shutting the subway now, while best for public health, would upset the markets further. Proper precautions cannot be taken because money is more important than people.

>> No.17842313

Whats the worse percent change you've seen? My favorites:

>SPCE down 70% from ATH
>BA down 57% since last year's top
>JBLU down 54% this month

>> No.17842315

Kek, saw a thing online where some financial genius said that Apple should buy Disney. Pipe dream man. Apple missed the ride when Jobs was still alive and when Disney shares were a hell of a lot cheaper than today. Even with the virus shit effecting it the stock was still cheaper. P.S - DIS at under 94 a pop right now.

>> No.17842317

I put in an order for some TVIX stock last night because I didn't think the VIX would change much until US markets opened, only to see that it's gone from +15% to +30% already. Will the VIX still go up more today or should I cancel that shit?

>> No.17842324

>>17842270
>>17842227
Oh my sweet summer child.

>> No.17842330
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17842330

I tried warning you, bullbros. I wasn't even smug at all. I'm sorry about what is going to happen in 2 hours.

>> No.17842344

>>17842056
At premarket levels for spy and qqq we will hit the first 7% break immediately upon open. 13% isnt far past 10%. Would only need to drop a further 3% from here.

>> No.17842345
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17842345

>>17842313
I fucking LOOOOOOVE SPCE i've made so much money off that stock

>> No.17842348

>>17842281

Y...you don't know what's going to happen...stock market is gambling..!!! You only got lucky! It's not like italy spain and all of europe shutting down had anything to do with this bobo!!!

>> No.17842358
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17842358

%9.19
it's over

>> No.17842363

So how far down we going today?
We gonna hit 20K on the DOW?

>> No.17842366

>>17842315
yea, that's retarded. I'm pretty sure some members of the government attempted to block disney's acquisition of fox. For apple, an already powerful multi-brand megacorporation, to buy another powerful multi-brand megacorporation like Disney would absolutely be blocked by anti-trust laws.

>> No.17842367
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17842367

Crash and burn.

>> No.17842368
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17842368

gold and oil still going down
someone needs to step in and buy
where is the cash

>> No.17842375

>>17842014
Don't remind me of Yotsuba. Miku is best and deserved it most.
Also I already said stock market was gonna crash on thursday

>> No.17842382
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17842382

>>17842344
Well, I certainly hope so but last week we hit the futures breaker and never got close to the 2nd breaker sadly.

I have said for a long time that I would buy at 20k on the DOW. Do you think I should wait a little longer?

>> No.17842385

>>17842223
ok I'm gonna hold, it's literally the only stock in Germany right now that's making profit

>> No.17842395
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17842395

>>17842246
VB and a cheese and Vegemite sandwich isn't a real cure, my friend.

>> No.17842398
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17842398

>>17842345
And making more today

>> No.17842399

Should I short? More downside incoming or are we through yet? Implied open -9.5%...

>> No.17842402

<<17842367.
Can't believe it's happening. Can't buy my guns across the border now.

>> No.17842403

Should I sell my 3/20s today or on Friday?
My AMD puts got triggered into ITM today

>> No.17842405

Are the bulls done praying yet?

>> No.17842406

>>17842375
for me it's nino

>> No.17842407
File: 1.85 MB, 1507x1332, ImYotsuba.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842407

>>17842375
Why wait until Thursday when we can crash Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday?

>> No.17842414

>>17842345
how long do you normaly keep your puts before selling on a stock like SPCE that plummets in a predictable rate

>> No.17842415

Be careful out buyers. Make sure you exit before it gets too bad.

>> No.17842423
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17842423

visa or master card?

>> No.17842424

>>17842375
Nino is the best

>> No.17842425

>>17842368
people are going to buy oil eventually, not sure about gold though, that shit ridic

>> No.17842434

>>17842399
>>17842358

How can it be implied 9.5%, futures halt at 5%

>> No.17842440

> tfw too brainlet to meaningfully understand inverse daily rebalance
All I understand is buying SQQQ right now is somehow a bad play because today's drop is already priced in and tomorrow's dead cat bounce will somehow get rebalance in?
I feel as though I am getting memed on

>> No.17842442

>>17842407
Meant I said it on last thursday mate.

>> No.17842448

>>17842014
SILVER DOWN 15%, OIL BELOW 30. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

>> No.17842449

>>17842345
am i reading this correctly, you only buy puts and calls that expire like the next week after your purchase date?

>> No.17842453

>>17842414
Always enter a position having your exit in mind. For most of those transactions, I just picked a sell point, set it, and it hit it the same day or the next.

>> No.17842454

>>17842223
in ten years they may not even exist.

>> No.17842459

>>17842434
Premarket is open

>> No.17842460

What if gold just ceases to be considered valuable by generations of people who have never even heard of a gold standard let alone believe in one? the BUY GOLD crowd is getting old as death and there isn't a replacement generation.

>> No.17842461
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17842461

honestly I can't believe that I get to witness not just one, but multiple breaker trips at open with you guys
it's oddly comfy

>> No.17842468

>>17842424
>>17842406
you know I'm fine with that, but fucking Yotsuba !?

>> No.17842472
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17842472

>>17842425
is gold done for
all those Spanish treasure galleons and new world exploitation mean nothing?

I kind of want to buy some under 1500... tempted

>> No.17842476

>>17842330
w-what is going to happen?

>> No.17842480
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17842480

>>17842014
> Crash after crash after crash

SO WHEN THE SHIT HIT THE FAN ANONS?
It's been two weeks that the Stock Market is crashing but still nothing.

WHERE ARE THE BANK RUNS ? WHERE IS THE LOOTING FOR FOOD ? WHERE ARE THE WANTING LINES FOR FOOD STAMPS?

I'M BORED REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>> No.17842481

>>17842406
>>17842424
>why yes I do like getting drugged by a vile bitch, how could you tell?

>> No.17842487

>>17842449
Those were all calls and puts expiring march 20. I bought the calls when it was FOMO pumping, the puts after it was clear fomo had died

>> No.17842488

>>17842448
SILVER 17% down

>> No.17842489
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17842489

This is bad ain’t it?

>> No.17842491

>>17842292
And all of this time the Bank of Japan has been directly buying stocks to prop it up.
I wonder if they would have been better off just letting it hit rock bottom and built it from there again.

At the moment it's an impossible thought, but DOW might pull off a similar move.
If the debt crisis turns out to be bad enough, then you can basically say that the US consumer spending is fucked for the next 10-15 years minimum.
Then there's the fact that pensions are going to get cut to shit when there are no returns from the market, which will rape boomers entirely as a generation and kill the housing market.
US might very well be heading to becoming Japan 2.0.

>> No.17842493

>>17842459
Oh, 8 thought premarket and futures were interchangeable terms. What's the breakers limit for premarket ?

>> No.17842494

u retard
if you buy on open, you are expecting it go down more
so once the circuit breakers trip and you buy it
you are buying at -20%
you should have bought on friday
so that you can get the 20% gains

>> No.17842507
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17842507

>>17842440
How do you measure the priced in drop in a leveraged short etf?

>> No.17842508
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17842508

there are sirens outside

>> No.17842516

>>17842345
virgin orbit needs an ipo, that company just reeks of warbucks

>> No.17842519
File: 664 KB, 1504x2160, x15.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842519

>Silver down 18%
Wtf is happening
Its all crashing

>> No.17842520

>>17842493
>Oh, 8 thought premarket and futures were interchangeable terms

What?

>> No.17842522

>>17842453
so your strategy isnt to time the profit gains, just sell at a specific time?

>> No.17842525

>>17842460
Buy my shiney metal!

>> No.17842527

Is DB okay?

>> No.17842539

Thoughts on etoro?

>> No.17842543

>>17842522
Pick a profit point, don't get too greedy.

>> No.17842548

>>17842519
Banks are getting margin called and running out of liquidity, they're selling everything

>> No.17842553

>>17842481
h-hot

>> No.17842558

>>17842103
Kek.

>> No.17842563

>>17842460
I kind of suspect exactly that us happening
I mean "gold us valuable in times of crisis" is an actual meme in the true meaning of the word: a sort of tiny perpetuating cultural myth whose basis is purely tradition rather than fact

>> No.17842564

>>17842519
18%?!?!
ahahahahahah why did I buy some of this shit in my ira ahahahaha fuck

Might finally buy some rounds/eagles

>> No.17842565
File: 1.38 MB, 807x1245, 1558464109640.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842565

>>17842460
It's because the zoomers are buying made up fake internet gold instead of real gold
crypto did this
plus they aren't getting married or buying their girlfriends jewelry because they're all gay and spend all their money on opiates

>> No.17842567
File: 3.81 MB, 500x288, Chuck Bronson.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842567

>>17842100

>> No.17842569
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17842569

>>17842480
>Nobody believes the happening is real because it isn't instant movie tier armageddon

I love your sense of humor god

>> No.17842573
File: 281 KB, 1080x1546, IMG_20200316_123846.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842573

This truly is the end times lads

>> No.17842579

>>17842520
He said "premarket was open". I thought that premarket and the futures were the same thing.

>> No.17842584

>>17842564
>eagles
>not buying pandas

>> No.17842602
File: 843 KB, 540x1442, 1561379549911.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842602

>>17842573
I don't know which is worse: Silver under 13 or oil under 30

>> No.17842607

>>17842584
>pandas
>not buying maple leafs

>> No.17842616

>>17842507
Well it's that it's already up in premarket hours

>> No.17842618
File: 404 KB, 1080x2280, Screenshot_20200316-074028_Robinhood.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842618

what can i salvage from these today?

>> No.17842619
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17842619

>>17842100

>> No.17842622

>>17842425

ahhahahahHAHAHAH

WHEN BULL KEK WHEN? WHOS BUYING OIL NOW NO ONE NEEDS IT LITTLE BULL KEK AND WERE IN AN OIL WAR RN. AIRLINES ARE GOING BANKRUPT AND YOU SAY WE NEED OIL HAHAHA

>> No.17842624

so what longs are actually worth holding...?

>> No.17842625

>>17842584
Eagles are useful for collecting spent brass, will come handy when the looting starts.

>> No.17842627

>>17842014

peak panic will be may

>> No.17842630
File: 211 KB, 346x526, 1576400587416.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842630

this isnt fun anymore, i want the green line going up to come back

>> No.17842633

>>17842403
I' waiting for a gap down tomorrow ( I'm also in $40 AMD puts expiry this Friday)

>> No.17842635

>>17842602
silver, because oil can easily rebound. silver is going to take forever to recover.

>> No.17842644
File: 1.89 MB, 160x120, 1398534949.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842644

>>17842619
:DDDDDD

>> No.17842648
File: 31 KB, 777x561, 1584093800100.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842648

>>17842630
Is this the clown that tried to short Beyond Meat?

>> No.17842657

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdss-U0H7fA&t=
its over boys

>> No.17842658

>>17842149
I'm sorry for your loss.

>> No.17842663

>>17842440
im with you anon

>> No.17842668

>>17842648
>short
>beyond meat
I dont know what either of these things are

>> No.17842670
File: 106 KB, 703x960, 1554130546140.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842670

>>17842480
Europe is literally quarantined
Reservists are getting called in
Borders are all closed
Hospitals are full with people
Markets empty
Literally anything else is closed

At this rate looting will start in ten days.

>> No.17842671

>>17842618
They'll probably open at a price that you can make some money on due to the increase in bear volatility

>> No.17842673

>>17842579
You're actually a tourist and need to stay in cash until this is over

>> No.17842681

>>17842563
The problem with gold is that it’s historically been used as a store of value during state collapse, not during global collapse. If you can’t slip away with your gold during the night before the day of the rope, it’s worthless. Since there’s no where to slip away to anymore, it’s similarly worthless.

And paper gold upends the concept to begin with.

>> No.17842682

INO is going up

>> No.17842684

>>17842014

i pity people with money in mutual funds

>> No.17842688

>>17842616
couldnt it go up futher though?

>> No.17842690

>>17842440
You had to buy SQQQ friday and sell right now in premarket. You always have to predict the market for this type of play

>> No.17842695
File: 811 KB, 689x693, jerry.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842695

>>17842668
Neither did he

>> No.17842697

>>17842670
markets empty? look pretty full to me. But then again, I don't live in Italy

>> No.17842701
File: 60 KB, 182x178, 1566568661787.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842701

>>17842635
maybe we should just re-bury it at this point
return it to the earth gods so that they will call off the plaguerino

>>17842627
that's like 2 months from now
they already cancelled all the sports, and quarantined everything
I don't see how people will get any more panicked eight weeks from now

>> No.17842702

>>17842616
Oh that kind of etf in my country is up only 4% now.

>> No.17842710

>beyond meat
anyone who tried it knew it was nothing more than a fad or meme. it tastes awful.

>> No.17842714
File: 63 KB, 720x719, 1557264997463.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842714

>>17842573

>> No.17842727
File: 309 KB, 945x725, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842727

>> No.17842730

>>17842710
It's mashed peas. But a lot of mashed peas, with oils. Makes u gassy.

>> No.17842736

>>17842673
Seriously consider suicide

>>17842491
I don't think we will be Japan , we don't have those demos

>> No.17842740
File: 424 KB, 1080x1398, 1584131408356.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842740

THOUGHTS ON ETORO?

>> No.17842742

>>17842701

they'll get more panicked when the news is not about sports cancelation but lack of beds for the infected

we are far from peak virus nigga.

plus the people in mutual funds will have a delay so they can take their money. 1w-2m delay

>> No.17842745
File: 1.41 MB, 1022x1082, cosbyd.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842745

>>17842727
Lol

>> No.17842750
File: 114 KB, 1088x698, 156746877419654.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842750

In all sincerity and honesty, I'm scared. I've never seen anything like this in my 30 years of life and don't know what to do while I sit at home and watch the market collapse every fucking day as it seems like the entire world is shutting down. I don't know what to do or how to feel.

>> No.17842754

>>17842223
I have a Draeger CO2 monitor for work, it doesn't work.

>> No.17842757
File: 1.91 MB, 1696x1066, 1566811474928.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842757

>>17842681
it might rubber band hard though
like once the selling stops, a little bit of buying pressure could take us back over 1600. and from there, who knows
I haven't bought any new gold (just long term physical holding), but I'm still tempted to grab some paper gold if it keeps going down and see what happens

>> No.17842758
File: 716 KB, 1080x1084, russian bear.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842758

>well-known, blue-chip companies with good p/e ratios and debt getting annihilated
>the only refuge from this crisis are black magic inverse leveraged ETFs

someone must be responsible for this

>> No.17842761

>>17842727
>would be
>not am
Your red flag, ladies and gentlemen. Never trust a Trump.

>> No.17842763

>>17842670
Are they still floating in 100's of boatloads of Africans every minute? Some work must continue, even in tough times.

>> No.17842766

>>17842701
COMPLETE lockdown on movement, noone will be allowed to get out of their homes.

>> No.17842768

>>17842750
Pretty much
I was not old enough 2008 so this is my first real crash.

>> No.17842770

>>17842740
Epic bacon image!

>> No.17842772
File: 186 KB, 978x984, borger.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842772

borger

>> No.17842775

>>17842745

sauce

>> No.17842777

>>17842772
fat slut

>> No.17842786
File: 691 KB, 1280x638, boomertrader.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842786

bloody monday incoming

>> No.17842792
File: 24 KB, 678x381, 106406702-158257357176320200224_nyse_market_halts_circuit_breakers-01-01.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842792

>>17842579
Futures are an asset class, like stocks, but not traded on the NYSE. They have a premarket trading window like stocks do, but different hours. he was saying the futures are already down before stock trading begins, which is indicative of the stock market is crashing hard today

IDK what the circuit levels for futures are, but here are the stock ones. Hope that helps

>> No.17842793
File: 41 KB, 594x582, 1581559643213.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842793

>>17842775
Ketchup!

>> No.17842807

>>17842710
The problem is the market think a Beyond = Incredible Burger

The incredible burger is made from plants that have been genetically modified to bleed plant blood
Beyond is just the shitty veggie burgers that have been around for decades but they're capitalizing off Impossible's slowness

>> No.17842809

>>17842750
I feel fucking exhilarated but then again, im a massive loser who just wants everyone else to suffer as much as I do.

>> No.17842810
File: 524 KB, 600x600, 1576804995197.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842810

>>17842772
bacon borger

>> No.17842818
File: 302 KB, 2048x1166, 1560709019488.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842818

I just spoke to one of friends who is a big titty school principal, she just told me that her kids probably won't return to school physically until early 2021. Holy shit brahs.

>> No.17842819
File: 86 KB, 1200x1112, 1200px-Shell_logo.svg.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842819

Bought 419 shares (4$ short for 420) of RDS.A @ 12$.
Going to lock this up and check back in a few months.
Likely it will go down even further.
Perhaps because they will anounce that they're lowering dividends, which would be for the first time since WW2.
But it's already low as fuck and the company is one of the more stable ones in the oil industry.

Can't go wrong but keeping my fingers crossed.

>> No.17842822
File: 236 KB, 850x1090, 45_and_9.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842822

>>17842763
Nobody cares/knows desu.
>>17842775
Looks like some Korean stuff

>> No.17842826

>>17842768
even in 2008 the world didn't fucking collapse, dude. it was some fiscal bullshit not a doomsday virus from batman

>> No.17842827

Quick what euro shorts do I buy before us market opens biz!
I was too late to buy on close friday..

>> No.17842831
File: 613 KB, 671x497, blood vats.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842831

>>17842807

>> No.17842833

>>17842434
Index ETFs have no halting

>> No.17842835

>>17842750
Nobody has ever seen anything like this. This is a completely unique set of circumstances. Just hope the collapse is orderly and the rebuild swift with lessons learned.

Til then, buckle up, do what you can to insulate yourself from risks you can't afford, and just live your life, even if your life is just binging netflix for a few months while the world grinds into a twilight zone around you.

>> No.17842838
File: 1.92 MB, 1414x789, 1583761107192.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842838

>>17842624
long VIX

>> No.17842840

>>17842736
If you don't know what futures are you don't belong in this thread you belong on investopedia

>> No.17842843

>>17842818
post her big tiddys

>> No.17842849

>>17842809
Yeah, I'm getting real sick of your lot. Some of us actually want to live and be happy, okay? Sorry you're a coward who is also too much of a pussy to have ended it already themselves.

>> No.17842850

ummm why is gold also dropping? i thought it was a safe from this shit

>> No.17842853

>>17842670
God fucking damn it this artist has the worst example of sameface

>> No.17842861

Newbie here.

How long till s&p and dj opens?

Is closing at -7% a big deal in dow jones?

>> No.17842866

Lads they're going to close the stock market.

>> No.17842876

>>17842818
Nonsense if you ask me. Countries would use the nuclear option before that happens. Force everyone to stay home for a month. After which the spread stops and the virus slowly phases out.

>> No.17842882

what happens if the stock market closes before I can sell all the inverse ETF stocks I ordered at open

>> No.17842883
File: 34 KB, 385x423, 1569308393477.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842883

silver is at $12 and hasn't found any support yet

>> No.17842887

>>17842818
What a time to grow up.
There was lots of happenings when I was a kid, but it all felt so far away like Waco, the OKC bombing and the LA riots but those things seemed so far away. Now they've crept into your home.

>> No.17842889
File: 1.14 MB, 960x1200, 1583805863486.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842889

>>17842826
Id like to say I do not give a shit about the world beyond money, but Im stuck in an African country with all flights canceled and being the de facto hostage of the local gouvernment now.
>>17842853
Really?

>> No.17842894

>>17842819
Did you buy them today or firday at close?

>> No.17842904

>>17842861
dow wont close at -7%

>> No.17842911
File: 35 KB, 550x432, file.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842911

What did she mean by this?

>> No.17842914

>>17842850
Gold exchanges are about to be shuttered for months. Do you HONESTLY want to get stuck with an asset you can't convert into cash on the fly during a period where your income will be either nonexistent or shot to shit?

>> No.17842915

>>17842861
>Is closing at -7% a big deal in dow jones?
4 weeks ago? Yes
Now? Just a normal day at Wall Street. The line for suicides starts over there.

>> No.17842917

>>17842819
I wonder about the advantage of holding XOM or RDS.A despite the oil price decline, considering that the top oil companies are profitable at lower oil prices while everyone else dies

>> No.17842924

>>17842882

There'd be more panic if the market closed, lol they won't close it, the country would become so chaotic.

>> No.17842926

Bears are too complacent. Face melting bear rally incoming this week.

>> No.17842929

>>17842861
>Is closing at -7%

breh we're going to hit -7% within 15 minutes

>> No.17842930

>>17842488
IT'S BEING SOLD OUT. GOLD TOO. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

>> No.17842931
File: 53 KB, 575x767, jy51geq210c41.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842931

I believe in Donald J. Trump. I'm buying calls today

>> No.17842934
File: 237 KB, 727x868, 1554828506715.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842934

This market crash is the best thing that could happen. It will drag everyone down. Finally everyone will suffer like me, I am happy at last.

>> No.17842936

>>17842831
Bred to suffer and born to die
We have taught the plants to know pain

>> No.17842940
File: 19 KB, 400x433, B5184E4F-3206-4C10-82B9-725C58601E09.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842940

Just an update from a bong in Bongland about what the government is advising all citizens to do

Wash your hands, sing happy birthday and get herd immunity please

This was a message sponsored by the BBC.

>> No.17842941
File: 99 KB, 1235x650, 1563718840944.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842941

>>17842882
I don't know if they've ever closed the stock markets during a time when lev/inv ETFs existed.
it might be a big problem if they did, because those ETFs are constructed using futures contracts.


>>17842889
story?
what country are you in and why?

>> No.17842943

>>17842849
>Some of us actually want to live and be happy, okay?

Tell that to the chinks that work in sweatshops so your money is worth anything

>> No.17842944

>>17842850
The big players that have been hoarding gold for the past year are liquidating to cover their positions

>> No.17842945

>>17842818
>big titty school principal

gonna need some pics brah

>> No.17842947

>>17842014

anyone know a good place to commission memes?

i made a promise i'd do it if my put survived until today

>> No.17842959

>>17842894
Today.

>> No.17842961

>>17842934
Based

>> No.17842965

>>17842940
>and get herd immunity please
Doesn't that involve over 90% of the country falling ill?

>> No.17842968

>>17842934
>>17842961
based

>> No.17842971

>>17842579
Just burn your money.

>> No.17842979

is it worth it to buy inverse ETF's at open or should i hope and wait for another fed pump first

>> No.17842980

I wish I you could buy memes on the stock exchange

>> No.17842985

>>17842915
I see. My country stocks (ibx) are closing daily at -14%, still not sure how we didnt exploded yet

>> No.17842986
File: 48 KB, 364x720, asa56klzxeholtcjfkrt.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842986

>up 60% this morning
just stop i can only get so erect

>> No.17842987
File: 247 KB, 849x1200, D4eH6ZVU4AA0Rj2.jpg_large.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17842987

>Silver at 11.8
>>17842941
Morocco
Closed its borders overnight and all foreigners are now stuck here. Could be worse though. I enjoy the beach and wait for an airlift out.

>> No.17842994

>>17842943
>chinks that work in sweatshops so your money is worth anything

none of this is my fault. no one came to my house and asked me if i thought enslaving chinks to make sneakers was okay, pretty sure no one gave a shit what my opinion was ever.

>> No.17842999

>>17842245
Seoul is also testing literally everyone, asymptomatic or not, and issued preemptive quarantines weeks ago. There would never have been a need to shut their rails down because they did the right thing and started rounding up all the asymptomatic dumbfucks acting as vectors instead of telling people to enjoy St Paddys Day at Red Robin because freedum.

>> No.17843005

>>17842979

if you think it s worth to buy inverse etfs at open of a day like today you should study what the fuck you are putting money into

it does not work like you think it does

>> No.17843006

Will they actually close the markets? And if so what happens when they do open again?

>> No.17843010

GUSH to 0

>> No.17843012
File: 61 KB, 540x511, 17j7na.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843012

UK electricity consumption was down to just 21GW yesterday morning. It very rarely dips below 26GW

>> No.17843015

i had $20,000 in silver...HAD...

>> No.17843017

>>17842861
Anon we're not closing at -7, we're opening at -10 or worse.

>> No.17843021

-10% spx

>> No.17843026

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntUDAX2T8wo

>> No.17843027

>>17842740
shit scammy exchange

>> No.17843028
File: 178 KB, 881x1024, 1566056717556.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843028

>>17842987
Spooky
I can't imagine being away from home in a time like this. Even if I was somewhere civilized. Africa, even northern Africa, no way

>> No.17843032

>>17842965
They want 60% of the country at least to get infected, so that the least vulnerable are infected and the most have a buffer zone to make sure they don’t get infected

>> No.17843041

>>17842014
>peak panic
not now

that comes later

>> No.17843042

>>17843012
TWENTY ONE GIGAWATTS

>> No.17843043

>>17842095
>that one guy who had his sell limit at 40,000
Poor guys been waiting for it for 30 years

>> No.17843047
File: 1.12 MB, 1200x630, IVE LOST EVERYTHING.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843047

SO WITH SADNESS IN MY HEART I FEEL THE BEST THING I COULD DO

IS END IT ALL AND LEAVE FOREVER

>> No.17843049

>>17842207
not until things are literally falling apart
the US won't seriously implement quarantines until too late, and even then they're likely to be non-effective and localized only

>> No.17843054

I CAN'T LOG INTO MY BROKER WTF

>> No.17843058

>>17843028
did yuo run all your pictures through waifu2x or something why are they all blurry

>> No.17843059

>>17842999
true

>> No.17843065
File: 481 KB, 734x2977, How_the_early_and_often_strategy_made_7_when_the_market_was_down_22.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843065

Remember men, it's just money. We're probably gonna bounce today but get ready to reload your puts at the top. And don't be surprised if President Trump figures out a way to stop /ES from dipping under 2350 or so between now and November. Fuck if I know how but I'd almost put money on it. It's in the air.

>> No.17843068
File: 85 KB, 1024x762, Courtauld 02-1 Edouard Manet - A Bar at the Folies-Bergere.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843068

>>17842934
I would say they could have prevented it, but that would be a lie. It's not in their nature.

>> No.17843070
File: 22 KB, 410x598, 1584131345604.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843070

>>17842100

>> No.17843073

>>17843032
Wouldn't the least vulnerable just act as carriers for the virus, then?

>> No.17843074

Well, all I can do is hope gold recovers within the next several decades. Fortunately I was already poor so it’s only a couple thousand, haha...

>> No.17843076

$30 DOLLARS A BARREL
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>> No.17843078

>>17843027
why shitty? why scammy?

>> No.17843086

>>17842750
>entire world is shutting down
Businesses are opening back up in China. It's business as usual after a month. People act like the world is going to end. That everyone will somehow die with a <10% death rate, all elderly and/or immunocompromised. That nobody will see opportunity. That businesses will just give up. That everyone will refuse to work. Fucking trade grocery and general retail stocks. How much money you think walmart made selling cleaning supplies, water, and toilet paper this week alone?

>> No.17843088
File: 14 KB, 745x169, imf.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843088

Why?

>> No.17843090

>>17843010
I'll still hold lol

>> No.17843096

>>17843054
>using robinhood

>> No.17843098

>>17843088
you know why

>> No.17843101
File: 194 KB, 597x358, 1318821668114.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843101

>>17843086
>>17843086
>Businesses are opening back up in China. It's business as usual after a month
People are getting re-infected

>> No.17843102

>>17843086
>Businesses are opening back up in China
No they're not.

>> No.17843106

>>17843088
Accelerate

>> No.17843114

>>17842727
hes right tho, this is a good time to buy at a bargain. you have to think long term

>> No.17843116
File: 979 KB, 672x787, 1565038692083.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843116

>>17843088
>Throw money at the virus that will work!

>> No.17843117
File: 185 KB, 773x823, 1584310149267.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843117

Who's ready to buy blue chip cheapies to dump when orange man has his next CEO blowjob press conference?

>> No.17843119

>>17842710
doesn't matter, short squeeze of the decade
>>17842727
I love that he went back and deleted that tweet!

>> No.17843125
File: 347 KB, 799x799, 1354048155074.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843125

>> No.17843136

>>17843086
Obesity is a major risk factor for complications
America is going to have the highest death rate this side of the third world

>> No.17843141

>>17843078
have you heard of search engines, anon?

>> No.17843144

>>17843086

Oh god this guys back, LOL YOURE BACK. Why are you so clueless, people are making bank right now because they're shorting based on the economy crashing, jump on board or go broke bull cuck

>> No.17843153

>>17842827
i got EUO not sure what else there is

>> No.17843154

>>17842819
how did you buy at 12$ if its worth 27$ ?

>> No.17843156
File: 190 KB, 641x1200, madagascar2.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843156

>>17842323
thanks man! that's pretty good. lucky i opened the thread again

>> No.17843158

All the gold and silver are sold out. What the FUCK.

>> No.17843160

>>17843136
Also spring break vacations are canceled or not?

>> No.17843163
File: 181 KB, 502x374, 1554384607065.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843163

>>17843136
>old people and fat people die

oh noooooo what will we do bros...

>> No.17843171
File: 322 KB, 640x410, F99EA9B7-0D72-4B88-ABA5-1E6A27FF146E.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843171

Should I sell my 24k of now very ITM SPY puts at open or not?

>> No.17843173

>>17843086
>It's business as usual after a month.
Stop saying this dumb shit. Kids are still taking online classes instead of going to school in China.
Some places they still can't go outside much.

>> No.17843175

>>17843043
His honorable great great grandchildren will one day be able to complete that trade and bring peace to the salaryman's spirit.
But until that day comes, he's haunting the family home as a pink ghost.

>> No.17843177

>>17843160
my uni extended spring break until the end of the month

>> No.17843181

Could our actual status be counted as a crash? Which numbers we need to be able to say "it crashed"?

>> No.17843183
File: 23 KB, 639x382, db.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843183

>>17842014
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BUY YEAST BUY YEAST GOD DAMNIT

>> No.17843193

Is now the time for Fear?

>> No.17843194

>>17843136
Practically the entire Western world is fat, America is just a little fatter

>> No.17843195

>>17843160
No

>> No.17843199
File: 1.11 MB, 707x1000, 906D1D5B-55D2-4661-8F9C-78BB1EA60E4C.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843199

>>17843073
Not my policy. Ask the British Government. They haven’t been communicating shit to schools or teachers. Currently our Union is trying to gather more information on WHY they’re doing the stuff they’re doing.

>> No.17843204

any guaranteed puts?

>> No.17843207

>>17842818
How big are we taking anon?

>> No.17843211
File: 2.54 MB, 272x171, brrr.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843211

OH NO NO NO NO
BRRRRRRRROS
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO

>> No.17843215
File: 88 KB, 1024x576, 1580413719669m.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843215

82 minutes until the open

>> No.17843216

>>17843047
WHAT'S DONE IS DONE

>> No.17843219

>>17843183
Bailout when?

>> No.17843220

>>17843173
>>17843173

People are incredibly in denial, meanwhile economists are predicting a massive contraction in the chinese economy for the first quarter, the rest of the world will follow.

>> No.17843222

>>17843213
>>17843213
>>17843213
>>17843213

>>17843213
>>17843213
>>17843213

the threads will continue until the pain ends

>>17843213
>>17843213

>> No.17843223

>>17843158
lol people snatchiing it up while the price is cheap

>> No.17843224
File: 88 KB, 800x684, 1531016273139.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843224

Weimar is here, when is the next Hitler?

>> No.17843228

>>17843114
well it's certainly a lot better now than when he wrote that

sheeeiiittt
TZA and SRTY got wayyyyy too expensive pre market

>> No.17843229

>>17843171
I'm selling and going long within the first hour of trading, very likely. Been holding puts since Feb. 13. but I'm done, everyone is a fucking bear now.

>> No.17843230

>>17843181
It doesn't crash until I say it crashes.

>> No.17843241

>>17843177
So thousands of people partying togheter? Lol all dead by the end of april.

>> No.17843245

My stupid broker is fucking down.
Wat do

>> No.17843250
File: 24 KB, 673x786, 1556304684293.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843250

>>17843193
Nau thait comes laiter

>> No.17843258

>>17843224
New Hitler is just building up to the failed Beer Hall Putsch now, it hasn't even begun.

>> No.17843264

>>17843204
guaranteed puts are puts which are set overnight bruh

>> No.17843332

>>17843102
https://www.thedailybeast.com/apple-reopens-stores-across-china-closes-them-everywhere-else
They factually are.

>>17843101
Proofs?

>>17843136
Lel maybe

>>17843144
Trading options and buying cheapies. But if you keep your short for longer than a month or two you're gonna go broke.

>> No.17843370

>>17842786
shouldnt the "ancap" zoomer be a regular boomer defending his retirement account

>> No.17843383

>>17843193

still at denial

peak fear is when the media will be all over hospitals

>> No.17843397

>>17843173
Well no shit, look at the population density. It'll be like that in NY and CA and Disney world as well, but for the rest of the nation it wont be that bad. It'll suck for a few weeks, maybe a couple months or so, then recovery, then business as usual. It's not the fucking end of the world.

>> No.17843400

>DAX -9%
-9%
-9%
-9%
-9%
-9%
-9%
-9%

>> No.17843414

>>17842786
Ancaps don't say Keynesian garbage like that.

>> No.17843435

>>17842448

Deflationary spiral, all debt and all savings will simultaneously disappear

>> No.17843448

Should i take a 3% loan and buy a 5-6% monopoly fibre infrastructure stock while keeping half my capital in cash (in case it drops by 50%) and earn the difference?

>> No.17843455

>>17842670
Not in britbong land where getting heard immunity thanks boris

>> No.17843482

>bought DUST at $10
feels good man

>> No.17843526

wait up, i just sold 90k of VTSAX to get out of the market but it doesn't actually sell until 4pm??? so doesn't this mean i risk getting royally fucked by selling it if the market crashes today?

>> No.17843532

>>17843224
Chink Stalin is going to make that nigger eat a bullet. Let's face it, the world "and the future will belong solely to the stronger eastern nation."

>> No.17843534

>>17843222
THREADS NEVERENDING

>> No.17843549
File: 287 KB, 474x306, 862684BE-AF7A-48D2-8D2C-A08AAD1C2808.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
17843549

How safe is a Vix call for today boyos?

>> No.17843575

>>17842132
>r/personalfinance and /r/investing are telling me to keep calm and hold,
When normies urge calm, sell.
When normies panic sell, buy.

>> No.17843657

>>17843526

bump please i got like an hour to fix this

>> No.17843679

>>17843175
I’m gonna hire Ito to make this comic

>> No.17843704

Buy SQQQ?

>> No.17843739

>>17843657
Post in new thread

>> No.17844067

>>17842415
the worse it gets the more i buy

>>
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