Just got let out. I think I'm rich... maybe

[Anonymous No.27392326]

Hey guys, It's been a long time. I was just released on parole after a 7 year hiatus in adult summer camp for participating in an open market. I've been thinking about this the whole time I was sitting there, wasting away. Now I live in a shack with my parents as a full grown man and can't be out after 8pm.

My life has actually been hell. I feel like nothing and I have nothing, but I still have access to my old wallet which has about 148 btc in it back from when 1 coin costed less than 200.

I just looked, it's worth about 5 million usd right now, but how in the fuck do I spend it? They have to know the wallet exists. I am 100% percent certain the feds are watching the wallet address in some automated way. The moment I move anything, they'll watch much closer.

My roughly cobbled together plan so far was to open a new hot wallet with a vpn that does dex without id verification. Exchange that for a privacy coin, like monero, send that to another hot wallet, exchange it back for btc, Cool, now my wallet shouldn't be trackable, right? I mean, unless they watch the blockchain for that exact amount being moved into a wallet shortly after disappearing from a high profile wallet. Maybe I should only trade a 3rd into btc to offset that? I don't know if that even makes sense. What would I do once the coins are washed? How do I get access to this money without being immediately arrested?

Seriously guys, please. I'm in America, and I don't think I'll be able to board any flights for a long time.

I have no idea what to do.

[Anonymous No.27392569]

>>27392326
drive to mexico

[Anonymous No.27393503]

search the term bitcoin tumbler, or mixer. Lot of services do it they take a cut and basically launder it. they take the old coins and there's a bit of a technical process, but you get new ones that aren't linked to eachother on the ledger.

Why do you care if they see it though? it's not taxable income until you convert it into paper currency. if they're going to go after you on it it'd be the taxes, which there are none for holding, however you may want to research how they've been locking that down in recent years.

[Anonymous No.27393858]

>>27392326
>I just looked, it's worth about 5 million usd right now, but how in the fuck do I spend it? They have to know the wallet exists. I am 100% percent certain the feds are watching the wallet address in some automated way. The moment I move anything, they'll watch much closer.
Why the hell are you trying to skirt the law again only to risk getting thrown back in jail, OP? Just sell your BTC thru an exchange and pay your cap gains tax. You'll still be rich, and have nothing to worry about. Jesus.

[Anonymous No.27394409]

>>27392326
send bitcoin to exchange -> trade for monero -> send to clean monero address -> send to different exchange (one with no kyc) -> trade for bitcoin -> send to clean bitcoin address. Now to cash out, you'll need to do a p2p trade for cash or metals or something. I would advise only doing small amounts at a time

>>27393858
t. glownigger

[Anonymous No.27394423]

>>27392326
kekw "adult summer camp"

[Anonymous No.27394427]

>>27392326
Use that VPN to order gold bars online with your washed BTC, less than $10k per txn (not reportable to FinCEN), and have them shipped to some dude(s) you make a deal with (who aren't connected to you and can't point you out) that will sell them around their local PM dealers and give you most of the cash. Repeat whenever cash runs low.

[Anonymous No.27395943]

>>27392326
Go monero, never look back.

[Anonymous No.27396242]

>>27394409
>t. glownigger
Nah, fuck the gov't but the IRS is the one agency you DON'T fuck with...(((they))) are not dumb. Just pay your taxes so you can move out of your parent's shack and live life.

[Anonymous No.27396455]

>>27394409
That anon gave you solid advice. You're actually fucking braindead and deserve to go back to jail, ngmi fuckwit

[Anonymous No.27396771]

>>27392326
>I want to fuck with the IRS
Pay your fucking taxes on it and be a millionaire. How dumb are you?

[Anonymous No.27396801]

Did you buy the btc with illegal funds or something? Why care if they are watching it?

[Anonymous No.27396877]

>>27392569
And be on the run forever? It crossed my mind, but I don't think I'll get past the border. I don't even have a license.

>>27393503
My concern is that they know that wallet was used to sell goods outside of their jurisdiction. I think they would have seized the wallet if they had my key. But thank you for the advice about the tumbler.

>>27393858
See above: I'm also worried about explaining where the money originally came from on my taxes. Millions of dollars don't just suddenly appear in your account. I'm happy to pay taxes, I'm just scared I'll be arrested when I try to withdraw. That's how the guy that scammed dread pirate roberts was caught, but he was trying to withdraw from a btc atm.

>>27394427
This sounds somewhat reasonable, but with many points of failure. I might get killed over that kind of money in gold. I don't really trust or know anyone out here. I'm also worried about a controlled delivery, even if it's at someone else's house. They might narc and set me up if they do that.

[Anonymous No.27397023]

>>27392326
Swap to monero and then they're untracable.

[Anonymous No.27397205]

>>27396877
then go for the long game, start a small business and laundry the money the old way, withdraw very small chunks at a time tho

[Anonymous No.27397263]

>>27392326
hire a tax lawyer
sell the btc
report it to the government
pay taxes.


even at 50% tax rate you will have 2 mil left

[Anonymous No.27397419]

Actual situation: OP is just a NEET who sold a bunch of drugs on the dark web and is just now finding himself at the hard part and can't figure it out. Nice made up story though. Everyone asks these same questions, nobody has a real answer and those who may aren't talking. The dread forums are loaded with 100 versions of the same question and a bunch of really poor answers that are destined to get you arrested.

[Anonymous No.27397577]

>>27396771
>>27396455
I don't mind paying taxes. It's simply a matter of legitimizing the money so it isn't seized.

>>27396801
The funds were deposited to my wallet directly from that now taken down website that exchanged things outside the guise of the sanitized market. The coins are directly linked to criminal activity.

[Anonymous No.27397801]

>>27397419
this, imagine going from 5+ years in jail to your parents shack and staying there all because you don't want to pay capital gains on 5mil when you have 5 bucks to your name

[Anonymous No.27397936]

>>27396242
The IRS isn't going to know shit if you aren't a retard and follow a plan. Cashing amounts < $10k at a time a few times a year and you'll be golden. If you really want to be safe record it as income for some bullshit like a podcast or "digital art", with a fake website with fake viewership numbers, the possibilities are endless. OP's problem isn't the tax it's that he doesn't want to trip fed alarms by cashing it out

[Anonymous No.27397970]

>>27397419
Ah yes, because it's more likely I sold something recently than years ago. Regular detective here.

[Anonymous No.27398063]

Dude just buy $CLF calls

[Anonymous No.27398119]

OP isnt trying to avoid taxes, he made the btc via darkweb drug trade you absolute morons low iq niggers, so he cant just sell them. also DO NOT use a tumblr/mixer, xmr is your only option. use morphscript.

[Anonymous No.27398143]

>>27397205
>>27396877
do this op
im doing this, in minecraft of course

[Anonymous No.27398221]

>>27397970
What are you even talking about?

[Anonymous No.27398334]

>>27398119

These kids don't know about silkroad

[Anonymous No.27398489]

>>27398334
What are you implying?

[Anonymous No.27398524]

>>27397970
>>27398221
>pic rel

[Anonymous No.27398531]

>>27398221
Imagine being this stupid unironically.

[Anonymous No.27398532]

>>27392326
Strategic wealth preservation in Cayman Islands. Take some time. Ponder it.

[Anonymous No.27398627]

Send btc to this address. It will the be magically be mailed to you in cash form.
358qrTx7doAVYCs8qfCPUnZ2frjsCsEMsr

[Anonymous No.27398658]

>>27392326
Hello dread pirate roberts

[Anonymous No.27398671]

>>27392326
CONVERT IT TO MONERO FAGGOT

[Anonymous No.27398717]

>>27398531
Answer the question rather than responding with ad hominem attacks if you dont' want to look dumb. Accusing others of being stupid isn't a reply. Go ahead... I'll wait.

[Anonymous No.27398783]

>>27398119
Hey, someone with actual advice. Thank you. May I ask why you advise against btc tumbling?

[Anonymous No.27398860]

>>27392326
Pretty much what I do with my wallets. Godspeed bro.

[Anonymous No.27398951]

Sent this thread to the feds
Get fucked criminal nigger scum

[Anonymous No.27399239]

>>27398860
Also trade it between a few XMR wallets for good measure. 3-5 is good anything else is overkill. Supposedly the FEDs have an app that let them break single XMR transfers but when you go 3+ it kills this. Probs is just BS but you should play safe anyhow.

[Anonymous No.27399284]

>>27398783
because tumbling doesn't actually work
it just increases the amount of tx by a lot in the hopes of obsfucating the source
but the ledger betrays you in the end
all units of bitcoin can be traced down to its inception
"tumbling" ain't gonna do shit
Monero (XMR) is the only way, thats why the Darknet Markets only use XMR
fuck bitcoin, unusable glowing piece of shit

[Anonymous No.27399298]

>>27392326

Some actual advice, GET A FUCKING LAWYER. Tell your parents to pay for that shit and that you'll pay them back with interest.

[Anonymous No.27399324]

>>27392326
Anon with this kind of money involved, don't take your advice from fucking 4chan. Find an attorney who specializes in financial crimes and tax law, and meet with him in private. Anything you say to him is privileged and can't be subpoena'd. He can look at your situtation and tell you if there is a legal way to do what you're looking to do.

[Anonymous No.27399444]

>>27392326
don't touch it. they're watching it closely.

[Anonymous No.27399447]

>>27398951
selling drugs online is a public service, anon.
no violence, quality products, and takes money out of the pockets of your local street gangs and ayylmao weed guys that you met in your college dorm

[Anonymous No.27399456]

>>27398717
You are genuinely retarded. No one is going to take the time to explain this to you. You aren't worth dignifying with a real answer.

>>27398532
I'm interested, but not sure how I'd get there.

>>27398334
It sure seems that way.

>>27398658
Man, that guy has a double life sentence. They made an example out of him.

>>27398717
Just thought I'd remind you how stupid you are one more time.

[Anonymous No.27399659]

>>27396877
Why do you think they know your wallet?
if I'm not mistaken proceeds of ill-gotten gains can be confiscated.

If I was you I'd convert to multiple monero wallets not just one

[Anonymous No.27399871]

dopamine running low

[Anonymous No.27399876]

>>27392326
> i have 7 years practice sucking dick and taking it up the ass
op is faggot and larp
if they knew about your coins why would they not they them from you or force you to hand over your keys?

[Anonymous No.27400030]

literally just get a lawyer
fucking neek

[Anonymous No.27400195]

>>27392326
buy amazon gift cards

[Anonymous No.27400212]

become a twitch streamer and have a dogecoin address for donations - send yourself a bunch of doge - ????? - profit

[Anonymous No.27400283]

>>27396455
>Back to jail
That post wasn't made by OP, go eat some paint chips and settle down

[Anonymous No.27400304]

>has $5m being a degenerate
>begs for free advice without offering anything
>cucks line up to give it
>same cucks are probably buttcoin holders and are helping op dump on them
many such cases. sad!

[Anonymous No.27400398]

Send me the BTC. I cash out and send you 80% of the money.

[Anonymous No.27400438]

>>27398783
tumblr/mixer services are just outdated, like using tor + vpn on windows. the feds have stepped up their game, this is what people did back in 2016. they have all kinds of tools to trace you now. if they are watching your address you're fucked i fear,

[Anonymous No.27400815]

>>27392326
Go on craigslist.
Rent a room in someone's house using a throwaway email you generated at a public library with no trace of your identity.

Give a fake name to the renter.

Tell them you are arriving at a certain date but some amazon packages might show up before you get there.

Wash bitcoin to xmr and back.

Use bitcoin to buy gold on gold selling websites. Have it delivered to the new place.

Do this to like 10 new places. Like literally every small room for rent nearby on craigslist. Use a different name for each. Pay for next day shipping so the feds dont have time to organize a stakeout of 10 houses.

Walk up to the doorstep, grab the gold, leave, and never go back.

Sell the gold anonymously to random dealers for cash.

[Anonymous No.27401021]

but biz wasn't around 7 years ago… explain that Mr prison man!

[Anonymous No.27401198]

not legal advice
---------------------
> multi-layer VPN
> Coffee shop/library -> Tor -> VPN (paid with monero)
> chinese exchanges, fake ids, convert to monero, only one btc at the time for each fake id.

[Anonymous No.27401471]

>>27401198
This could be improved.
btw there is no perfect opsec, you'll have to do a lot of learning and research

[Papa Smurf No.27401532]

>>27392326
I didn't read any of this but I'm going to assume you're looking for a genuine dex, not a cex pretending to be a dex. I 100% recommend AtomicDex. Komodo developed, one of the first true dex. If you're interested in XMR you can probably trade a small quantity of BTC for [n] XMR. Then after a long period of time, move XMR to XMR wallet for added security, then flip !=[n] XMR back to a SMALL sum of BTC and cash out via your fiat/crypto on-ramp. Provided the sum is small, it can hit your bank with no questions asked. Rinse and repeat. Do you like THE SMURFS?

[Anonymous No.27401605]

>>27401198
+ kali and mac spoof

[Anonymous No.27401793]

>>27401605
I'd use Tails booted from USB

[Anonymous No.27401898]

>>27401198
>Coffee shop
Easy for Feds to bust Ross and grab his laptop before he could lock it. Go mobile inside a locked car and leech of coffee shops WiFi, that way you'll have time to SHUT IT DOWN if you get busted

[Anonymous No.27401946]

>>27392326
If you are doing something illegal my first advice is don't post it online especially on the feds' favorite honeypot

[Anonymous No.27402029]

>>27401898
a stolen car, preferably.

[Hamzah Alosaimi20 No.27402132]

i bought this shitty tokens in april 2020 and sold in june kek

it's a chink shit boi, let it go

"mUh ETH killers" check your narratives fuckboy

follow poolz, that’s all I can advise you if you are not a tard

[Anonymous No.27402170]

>>27401946
Those are the tor forums, we're like, the third favourite fed honeypot.

[Anonymous No.27402531]

>>27400438
Thank you, I appreciate your advice

>>27400815
I like everything about this but the fake name part. For one, a condition of my parole is that I can't leave my parent's place. Second, don't rental place always do a background check? Won't they want to see my id?

>>27401021
1. Yes it was, biz was added to this site in 2013.
2. biz existing has nothing to do with anything in this thread.

>>27401198
Thank you, but fake id's aren't something I can just easily acquire. If I can make that part happen, this is probably the route I will take.

>>27400212
Dude, I don't know the first thing about streaming, but I'll look into this suggestion.

>>27399659
>>27399876
You can't legally be compelled to release information regarding a password unless it is related to terrorism. I am concerned about confiscation.

>>27400030
I have been researching how, but I'm not really sure who to talk to, or if trying to approach it legally may result in losing everything. I also have no way to pay legal fees unless I win.

[Anonymous No.27402585]

>>27392326
How can you wait 7 years and then not be prepared to wait a little longer? Do absolutely nothing

Also, to any feds reading. There's absolutely nothing illegal about telling someone not to do something illegal

Also, nice LARP, OP

[Anonymous No.27402675]

>>27392326
>>27396877
>>27397205
If I were you anon I'd tumble the btc on chain however you see fit asap. end result should be having it into multiple wallets on multiple chains, and in multiple tokens (eth, btc, xmr, and probably some defi shitcoins like aave/snx). i'd probably go 150-350k chunks. that way you'll have the original amount super spread out so that it's not easily linked back to the known wallet (and have some that you hold FOREVER). once you do that do what >>27397205 said. pick one of your new wallet addresses and work on it a little at a time. i'd probably tumble the funds one last time from the new wallet into smaller "burner" wallets prior to "spending" them to yourself. you should be able to establish a legit income within about a year, and then only "make" what you need for irs audited shit. hold the rest for long enough and you might be able to legally get out of the country if you hodl long enough. gl fren

[Anonymous No.27402776]

>>27392326
> I have 5 million USD
> let's ask 4chan
said no one ever
also sage

[Anonymous No.27403055]

>>27398671
this
they can't prove u still have access to the BTC wallet, after it's in and out of Monero the trail is cold (which is why Monero is banned from most exchanges)

[Anonymous No.27403147]

>>27401898
actually great advice though.

>>27401793
>>27401605
I'm using a flash booted Qubes OS. The only reason I chose this was by recommendation of Snowden.

>>27401946
I am quite sure that these posts can't be traced back to me, but I hear where you're coming from.

>>27402132
Are you lost?

[Anonymous No.27403604]

>>27400815
You really want hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of gold sitting on a doorstep? Sounds like a package thief's dream.

Also it's funny to me these PM dealers will just accept BTC and send it to any random address, no checks at all?

>Tell them you are arriving at a certain date but some amazon packages might show up before you get there.

If I was a renter that would probably be an immediate red flag lol.

>"This guy doesn't live here but for reason is having 'packages' sent here....hmm..."

[Anonymous No.27403745]

>>27403604
*some reason

[Anonymous No.27404518]

>inb4 larping
The only real advice is to find a lawyer, probably not your everyday lawyer, but the kind you meet on Better Call Saul. Only a person with that type of knowledge can really get you where you want to be. Personally if you want to handle it on your own the only thing I would think you can do is trade those for monero somehow and then disappear any evidence you had access to that wallet. Obvious max OPsec while you do it.

[Anonymous No.27405069]

>>27393858
>Just cash out 5M in proceeds from crime into the legacy financial system
Can't tell if retarded of jew

[Anonymous No.27405413]

>>27392326
Honestly, start with a lawyer. He/she is gonna start you off in the right direction and keep your ass safe. Don’t wanna do time back in there do ya?

[Anonymous No.27405808]

>>27405413
Best advice in the thread. Find a lawyer specializing in finance/tax law that will do a pro bono consultation with the promise of payment when you start legally cashing the bitcoin out.
Of course there is the possibility that you cannot ever legally cash out the proceeds of crime, but you should at least assess you options before going down the schizo-tier opsec rabbit hole.

[Anonymous No.27405836]

>>27405069
Before it was made clear OP’s source of BTC was a site that rhymes w Milk Load. Kindly piss off.

[Anonymous No.27406016]

>>27405836
So the answer is retarded then.

[Anonymous No.27406282]

- find a bitcoin atm near you and cash out small amounts at a time
- sell over-the-counter to someone
- convert to stablecoins and get a crypto debit card. this might be tougher because you can still be tracked this way.

as for where to swap, use something like atomic dex. it's trustless, so you can't get your coins seized or get ripped off.

[Anonymous No.27406284]

I don't really have any advice, but I am curious if anyone in this thread can answer this, are the gains of an investment fair game for the government to seize if the initial investment is linked to illegal activity? I am assuming yes, but at the same time, all of that additional money was gained in a semi-legal manner.

[Anonymous No.27406620]

>>27392326
Why don't you just sell it and pay taxes on it? Are you seriously contemplating committing another crime that will get you sent to prison after just getting out?

[Anonymous No.27407042]

t.

[Anonymous No.27407072]

>>27406620
Read the replies that are already on the thread.

[Anonymous No.27407076]

>>27406620
precedes from illegal activity can be ceased .

[Anonymous No.27407286]

>>27399444
this is probably the only real advice in the thread

wait for the US to collapse (and your 5m to be 200m) or get out of the country. otherwise you're risking handing over 5 million to your captors for doing something that shouldn't be illegal that they can use to keep funding the machine that robbed you of your God given rights and time on Earth with no reasonable justification

If you aren't larping or honeypotting anyway.

[Anonymous No.27407339]

>>27392326
Old larp is larp

[Anonymous No.27407490]

>>27405069
The OP didn't say he bought the BTC with illegal funds, dipshit, that came later in the thread.

[Anonymous No.27408524]

>>27397577
If you have tainted coins, there is a chance you may set off alarms when they move. Atomic swaps, later this year with Monero, may be your best bet in that case if you want to move at scale. In the meantime, swapping to Monero and back like >>27394409 suggested, and then buying an ounce of gold to be delivered to your house, will be enough to facilitate a cash transaction that will give you enough cash for a month of rent. Once you have your own safe place for a few weeks a lot of the paranoia will die down, even if you've been in the slammer for the better part of a decade. Consider using TOR browser. If you want to really be sneaky squirrel, buy a new laptop with cash that has never been connected to the internet, then install tails on it, and use TOR browser for these transactions. darknet subreddit has the instructions for this, and if you used to play around with silkies this will be like old times.

[Anonymous No.27408968]

OP, you need two things: an anonymous currency and a decentralized exchange. Buy $DCR through DCRDEX, coinjoin (CoinShuffle++) the coins using the opt-in privacy feature of the newest wallet release and be free and happu.

Thank me later.

https://github.com/decred/dcrdex
https://github.com/decred/cspp

[Anonymous No.27409324]

>>27394409
>send bitcoin to exchange ->
Hello KYC, Don't bother looking at this 5 million

[Anonymous No.27410693]

>>27409324
yeah ideally use a DEX or something with no kyc

[Captain Cuck No.27410958]

>>27392326
america? ....your gonna just have to cash out with coinbase and then pay the 100% capital gains tax or whatever ridiculous shit it is over there lol

[Anonymous No.27411801]

>>27392326
You have more chance getting away with murder then with screwing the tax man. Just use an exchange like www.coinmetro.im
and pay your taxes anon.

If they ask you where you got the money, just co-operate and be honest.
> I am 100% percent certain the feds are watching
If you just follow the rules, they can't do shit.
You will probably end up in jail again for money laundering kek.

[Anonymous No.27411945]

>>27411801
Basically this. Should probably ask for the FEDs permission too before trying. Not worth the risk m8

[Anonymous No.27412448]

>>27405069
can you be sentenced twice for the same crime?

[Anonymous No.27412497]

>>27392326
Why the fuck do you want to stay in America? The country has gone to shit, you should spend a few weeks practicing spanish then land cross into Mexico and go to somewhere in latin america from there and never come back to this guess place again, I would do it if if I had millions waiting

[Anonymous No.27413515]

>>27399324
This, holy fuck, this.

[Anonymous No.27413996]

>>27400438
>like using tor + vpn on windows
But this was always retarded

[Anonymous No.27414354]

1. Swap the coins on an exchange for XRP
2. Now you have XRP
3. suffer

[Anonymous No.27415175]

https://wasabiwallet.io
https://xchange.me
godspeed brother

[Anonymous No.27415301]

>>27401898
>Easy for Feds to bust Ross and grab his laptop before he could lock it
Because they were literally tailing him and knew he was logged into the admin panel of the site by having a compromised moderator IM with him as he was looking at support cases. Him getting caught had literally nothing to do with the location he was in at that time, he sold himself out to the feds from the very beginning when he self advertised the site from a Shroomery account he registered with his personal e-mail.

[Anonymous No.27415880]

Convert it all to Monero and stop using BTC.

[Anonymous No.27416224]

>>27396877
See above: I'm also worried about explaining where the money originally came from on my taxes. Millions of dollars don't just suddenly appear in your account. I'm happy to pay taxes, I'm just scared I'll be arrested when I try to withdraw. That's how the guy that scammed dread pirate roberts was caught, but he was trying to withdraw from a btc atm.

Here, let me tell you what to say "I bought a shitload of bitcoin with some pocketchange in 2013 and just found the wallet so I'm cashing it out."

If you didn't steal the money, you don't have anything to be afraid of. Just pay the fucking taxes on it.

[Anonymous No.27416446]

>>27392326
>>27396877
OP no matter what you do your first move from your OG wallet should be to launder it into XMR.

If you aren't very technical my personal recommendation for pure ease of use would be Morphtoken. The rates are really very good and worlds better than similar services, no email or nothing. Only issue is 1.5 BTC limit per trade but if I were you I would take it slow anyway just out of not trusting the exchange in some sense plus if as you say the feds are watching they could conceivably get them to stop accepting funds from that wallet since it's technically centralized but I doubt it. Send a small amount through to XMR and see if it works.

Remember to use Linux + TOR, and ideally don't do it on your home wifi and if you do try to get a VPN outside of the 14 eyes that you pay for in bitcoin NOT from the wallet they know about, these are the only approved ones: https://privacytools.io/providers/vpn/ but safest is just to find public wifi.

I would recommend MyMonero for the monero wallet, desktop version installed locally. When you are sending your BTC to your monero address don't worry about spreading it out because they will know it's all coming from the same BTC address anyway. But once it's in XMR it would be best to slowly create new wallets within MyMonero and add random amounts from your main wallet to each of these, making a different wallet every time. Now these wallets are all relatively clean and you could cash out directly with Localmonero, or exchange back for BTC or whatever (if you do that make sure to send them each to different BTC addresses otherwise the fact that a similar amount to what you started with goes into a single wallet could be a tippoff for the AI fags).

GL OP here's my XMR if you feel like saying hi: 493Wtiy5HAMENPTbu7Dx1ZhqZrMZBbDaUAJ2LMSgGdvqgRzyMtynQe2azkNHbrywWdgEetpuaMMy9U49mj6mRzM8Lso1LQh

[Anonymous No.27417265]

OP if you actually care about """"""fed adversary""""" then why are you posting on their website that you own $5,000,000 of illegal bitcoin and telling them exactly who you are (IP addy or 4chan pass payment info)? This has to be a larp

[Anonymous No.27417521]

>>27417265
he said he's using vpns

[Anonymous No.27417778]

>>27417521
hownu.ru

[Anonymous No.27418215]

Why not just uhh, hold and only withdraw a tiny amount when you need at a bticoin atm??

Like 2 or 3k a month

[Anonymous No.27418360]

>>27393503
Be very careful doing this. There are a lot that just steal your money.

[Anonymous No.27418562]

>>27392326
Send me 5 btc i will send you back 4.95 washed btc and no one will know about it. Do you want my bitcoin address?

[Anonymous No.27418628]

>>27416224
>sir it appears that one bitcoin was valued in the thousands in 2013 and you actually had a significant holding despite having no legitimate job at the time. The fact that you trivialize this as pocket change despite being dirt poor seems to be a red flag.
>additionally it appears this cryptocurrency came from a group of bitcoin addresses known to bee associated with illegal activity

[Anonymous No.27418769]

>>27392326
stop committing crimes OP

[Anonymous No.27418871]

>>27392326
>148 btc
Monero and convert 50% BACK TO BTC the dont cash out just cash alittle and chill when BTC will be 1 Mil.

[Anonymous No.27419002]

>>27392326
>How do I get access to this money without being immediately arrested?
easy
buy some passport in some funny tax free island
cancel your us citizenship AND THAT'S MANDATORY IF YOU DON'T WANT IRS GOING AFTER YOU
at this point move to a tax free paradise, move officially your residency there
cash out the amount you need, keep the rest
do whatever you want
if you want to stay in US, you just pay the capital gains and that's it, you waste 1million in tax for niggers and kikes and enjoy your mmurica with 4millions which will be worth like toilette paper soon

[Anonymous No.27419008]

>>27397577
Did you get the bitcoin through drug transactions?
If so, gtfo and stop posting about this, you can get IP addresses from 4chan if you aren't on a VPN.

But if you got the coins legitimately or through "mining them years ago" just put them on your taxes and pay that shit. The IRS isn't going to go after you as long as you pay.

[Anonymous No.27419029]

>>27392326
Paying $1M in taxes is worth not having to worry about it fren. Enjoy your freedom in full.

[Anonymous No.27420414]

>be me
>be glownigger
>make fake post
>anons detail how to track them laundering illegal btc
>profit

[Anonymous No.27420431]

>>27413996
wait.. i know a guy who buys adderall and uses tor and a vpn. Why is it retarded? is my friend missing something?

[Anonymous No.27420553]

the fact that people seem to believe that posters here have any 'anonymity' whatsoever is absolutely and wholly mind boggling to me. there is not a single anonymous 4chan poster, google and the feds know the exact identity of everyone in this thread, trivially.

[Anonymous No.27420567]

glownigger thread

[Anonymous No.27420597]

>>27392326
You will be paying LONG TERM capital gains tax because you held for more than a year. IT'S NOT EVEN THAT MUCH! Pay your taxes idiot.

[Anonymous No.27420704]

>>27392326
Take BTC and exchange via LocalMonero into XMR, can also use LocalMonero to cash out.

Take BTC, go to a casino and cash out.

Buy gold, silver and other metals without having to report the transaction to the government due to making those purchases with crypto. https://www.apmex.com/now-accepting-bitcoin

[Anonymous No.27420777]

>>27420553
wait so they know my friend is also consuming absurd amounts of sissy hypnosis every day?

[Anonymous No.27420842]

>>27392326
Bruh the solution is super fucking easy.
Not gonna say this the FBI literally browses this site.

[Anonymous No.27421160]

>>27392326
Share the wealth Anon, congrats btw wish I had made that same move.

3DucakAPUvkMcQRe1YLAQRw18wat3wPJtz

Doubt it will happen but could make this broke sick anons life a lot better.

[Anonymous No.27421179]

>>27420431
yes very retarded indeed.
>>27413996
of course but everyone did it this way and people usually get caught because they send packages with drugs with their name on it to their house.

[Anonymous No.27421479]

>>27417521
most VPNs are banned you stupid fuck

[Anonymous No.27421648]

>>27421179
officer tell me how it is retarded. there is no way some nigger is gonna get to my real ip adress if i use tor and not fall into some honeypot bs

[Anonymous No.27421729]

>>27421179
how else are you supposed to do it lmao

[Anonymous No.27422002]

>>27421648
because you're using honeypot OS to do shady shit
you don't think the CIA/FBI have backdoors to Windows, and log people who have TOR installed??

[Anonymous No.27422090]

>>27420431
Your friend is probably fine in the sense that I doubt anyone is specifically targeting them. The only benefit to using a VPN is that your ISP won't know you are using TOR, but your ISP probably doesn't give a shit either way unless the Feds tell them to. That aside, legal VPNs are required by law to keep logs and if LE wants logs from a VPN they will typically hand them over without question. VPNs are also more likely to be targeted and hacked by random people than an ISP is. Overall it's adding an additional single point of failure for a benefit that is insignificant to most people.
Pic related summarized all the points pretty well.

[Anonymous No.27422258]

>>27422002
>you don't think the CIA/FBI have backdoors to Windows, and log people who have TOR installed??
I highly doubt they care about you but even if they did, do you honestly think your standard OPSEC practices would outmaneuver the fucking CIA?

[Anonymous No.27422279]

Just wait for orion protocol to come out and all in orion.

[Anonymous No.27422504]

Your best bet is finding an anon IRL to help you for a cut.

[Anonymous No.27422577]

>>27402531
Most lawyers aren’t going to narc on you, the worst that could happen is that they might refer you to a different attorney. Best case you could end up with the cash and everything is 100% legal.

[Anonymous No.27422679]

Do you trust your parents? Have your dad declare it as his income, and he can explain he's been holding all this time and he mined them years and years ago.

[Anonymous No.27423143]

>>27394409
This guy is correct.But turn that Bitcoin into ETH and Buy 5M dollars worth of rubic over the next 3 months and you'll do another 10x minimum ROI. Thank me later.

[Anonymous No.27423373]

>>27397577
I see why you're concerned now. Yeah I would swap wallets repeatedly and eventually leave the country when you're ready to cash out

[Anonymous No.27423375]

>>27392326
Reported to the appropriate authorities

[Anonymous No.27423502]

https://www.fbi.gov/tips

[Anonymous No.27423528]

>>27422258
CIA has diversity hires these days

[Anonymous No.27423670]

>>27392326
Try to cash out with a small amount first. If you succeed do it with all. If you weren't in the feds you could switch states? Or move to Russia or Europe?

[Anonymous No.27423738]

>>27407042
this

[Anonymous No.27423884]

>>27422090
Thank you for the info. Pic related was a good read. My friend is gonna love this

[Anonymous No.27423993]

>>27423528
kek

[Anonymous No.27424498]

>>27399324
This is the best advise so far. OP, don't be any more of a fag than you already are. Do this.

[Anonymous No.27425195]

>all the idiots thinking this is a tax problem

Interesting thread. I know you said you don't want to leave the country but it by far the easiest option. You have retirement money you may as well enjoy retirement.

[Anonymous No.27425349]

>>27421648
>>27421729
download TAILS OS to usb drive. boot on a burner laptop, like a used 100 dollar laptop with no personal info (maybe use some linux distro as OS of that laptop if you want to go the extra mile). do not use a vpn, tails has everything you need. public wifi isnt a bad idea either. also: if you live in burgerland and the ADD come in pill form outside the blister and do not cost like 30$ each, they are 99.9% pressed methamphetamine.

[Anonymous No.27425662]

>>27425349
you know they still need to mail stuff right
where tf they gonna mail it lmao

[Anonymous No.27425994]

>>27392326
Sell it through P2P bro. It's a well established route by now, nothing shady about it. Pretty much impossible to trace it to crypto. Just do it little by little, month after month

[Anonymous No.27427006]

just do a giveaway here on biz, asking that recipients send back a portion to your monero address. it would be on the honor system that peeps would send monero back, but you can trust us

[Anonymous No.27427171]

>>27392326
Lots of countries don't have extradition treaties with the US
https://www.offshore-protection.com/offshore-blog/non-extradition-countries-the-best-place-to-run-to

Afghanistan
Algeria
Andorra
Angola
Armenia
Azerbaijan
Bahrain
Bangladesh
Belarus
Benin
Botswana
Brunei
Burkina Faso
Burundi
Cambodia
Cameroon
Cape Verde
Central African Republic
Chad
China
Comoros
Congo
Djibouti
East Timor
Equatorial Guinea
Eritrea
Ethiopia
Gabon
Georgia
Guinea
Guinea-Bissau
Indonesia
Ivory Coast
Kazakhstan
Kuwait
Kyrgyzstan
Laos
Lebanon
Libya
Madagascar
Maldives
Mali
Mauritania
Moldova
Mongolia
Morocco
Mozambique
Namibia
Nepal
Niger
Oman
Qatar
Russia
Rwanda
Samoa
São Tomé & Príncipe
Saudi Arabia
Senegal
Solomon Islands
Somalia
South Sudan
Sudan
Taiwan
Tajikistan
Togo
Tunisia
Turkmenistan
Uganda
Ukraine
UAE
Uzbekistan
Vanuatu
Vatican City
Vietnam
Yemen

[Anonymous No.27427229]

>>27427006
Not sure what's going on here but I like this guys idear.
3DucakAPUvkMcQRe1YLAQRw18wat3wPJtz

[Anonymous No.27427769]

>>27425662
find pic related (but outside the house), put a name tag on it, observe for some time, pick up mail at night with a fake moustache. if you cant find a mailbox like that you're screwed, also dont do this in a small town with 500 people, and dont do it often, once every few weeks maybe.

[Anonymous No.27427908]

>>27420431
>wait.. i know a guy who buys adderall and uses tor and a vpn. Why is it retarded? is my friend missing something?
Not really, the feds won't ever go after buyers, only sellers, unless you are buying dealer-amounts.
They aren't wasting their time chasing junkies.

[Anonymous No.27428012]

>>27427171
These are all horrible, even as a millionaire, absolute shitholes.

[Anonymous No.27428446]

>>27398783
Cause tumbling ain’t safe anymore

[Anonymous No.27428739]

>>27428012
Plenty of good options there. I would choses Andorra myself. Transfer all the btc to monero or whatever. Now you're in Europe with open borders and untraceable 5 million.

[Anonymous No.27429133]

>>27392326
Hire an accountant, a lawyer, and a broker.
Have them create an offshore company, outside of the United States, in a country with favorable tax laws.
You will be the sole owner and CEO of this company.
All of your Bitcoins will go into this company.
You will then pay taxes to the US government.
But they will be substantially less than what you would pay as an individual.
If they set up the company correctly, your money will be virtually untouchable by the US government.

[Anonymous No.27430394]

>>27392326
Just be a gud boi until your time is done, then take a vacation and never return you fucking crazy mutt.

>open market jailtime

What does this mean anyway?

[Anonymous No.27430591]

>>27401021
Gura is a tranny, /g/ and /pol/ and /b/ all had BTC threads back in 2011 and earlier. People gave away BTC on /b/, as a joke. Fucking newfag.

[Anonymous No.27430719]

>>27396877
Get a license then, retard.

[Anonymous No.27430820]

>>27397205
Start a PROFITABLE business, so you can have a neat way of living life.

[Anonymous No.27430983]

>>27397577
Probably should spread it between a bunch of different untraceable wallets with XMR then. The FRENDS are not usually tech-savvy, being a bunch of fat libarts retards.

[Anonymous No.27431054]

>>27402531
Answer the question OP.....why do you think the feds know about your wallet? It must've come up in court at some point.

I think you should transfer ALL coins to a safe hard wallet in a single transaction, and then intentionally infest your computer with a virus. Then, if feds come knocking, play dumb and give them your computer. If they don't come knocking, you're home free (but you'd still need a way to launder the money without being an idiot).

[Anonymous No.27431820]

>>27404518
https://www.robertshapiro.com/
If the glove doesn't fit we must acquit.

[Anonymous No.27432194]

>>27392326
>I'm in America
>dont even have a driving license
nice larp

[Anonymous No.27432752]

>>27421479
I use VPN with pass bought with monero washed btc (not op).
I dont do anything illegal but i dont like being tracked.

[Anonymous No.27433251]

>>27428012
Mostly yes, but there are some decent ones. Vietnam wouldn't be terrible. Next to Korea it's probably the second closest thing to a first world country in SEA. Certainly better than Laos, Camboia and all those random African hellholes. Also plenty of ex-pats to hang out with if he feels alienated by the gooks.