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30049543 No.30049543 [Reply] [Original]

>pull on my Clarks Beeswax desert boots, black rip-knee slim jeans, my white oxford shirt and cap it off with my green bomber jacket (size medium) from ASOS
>make sure X-Factor semis are set to record on the Sky+HD box before heading out
>lock the door of my 2-bed Barratt New Build behind me
>hop in the Audi A3 2L TDI purchased on a finance agreement
>the missus gets in the passenger seat
>set off on our second trip to IKEA in 2 weeks
>have a wander round the aisles
>debate with the missus whether or not the MALM set of drawers we have in the lounge is too obviously from IKEA and if we should be shopping at somewhere like Oak Furniture Land these days instead now we can afford it after her promotion to Assistant Staff Call Co-ordinator at the call centre
>buy a new desk lamp and potted cactus near the end to have something to make the trip worth while
>grab a bag of mini Daims as well for when we're watching X-factor later
>drop the missus off home
>boost into town, pushing 40 in the freshly paved streets of my exclusive barrat estate because I know there's no cameras
>head over to Smithy's barbershop
>get my usual mates-rates weekly skin-tight-to-number-2 fade undercut from Smithster himself
>meet up with Callum and Deano in spoons and sink a few jars over the footie
>head to the toilet and take a snap of my new haircut with my dick out and send it to the 19-year-old I've been texting for the last 3 days
>head home in the car
>stop in at Raj Mahal's Curry House en route
>pick up a Jalfrezzi and a Korma with rice, poppadoms, tub of extra sauce, veggie pakora and a special nan
>get home, sit down with the missus to watch the X-Factor with the feet up
>wait for the missus to go to bed
>crank one out to some extremely overproduced Brazzers porn downloaded on my outdated BitTorrent client, addled with malware
>check my phone; 19-year-old has text me back a picture of her chebs
>forward it to Davo
>head upstairs
>slip in beside the missus in our comfy IKEA bed

>> No.30049590

>>30049543
based Deano poster