Contrarian Coworker

[Anonymous No.54412450]

I need advice, bizraelis. How do you deal with a coworker who reflexively disagrees with you no matter what, even when you're trying to agree with them?

I have this guy, a senior coworker, who will jump in and deny or "correct" virtually anything that I have to say. Any suggestion I make is immediately contradicted. If I say a fact, even if it's a dictionary definition of a word, he always has some semantic disagreement. If he says something and I agree with him, somehow my agreement also needs to be corrected. I dread whenever our director asks us to work together because it ends up being a long tooth pulling session just to get him on the same page about what our boss' instructions even were.

Basically, what the hell is his problem?

[Anonymous No.54412472]

>>54412450
Hahaha hope the money is worth it wagie faggot

[Anonymous No.54412487]

>>54412450
He doesn’t respect you. Fuck him

[Anonymous No.54412496]

>>54412450
>Basically, what the hell is his problem?
Have you tried asking him this?

[Anonymous No.54412561]

>>54412496
I would but I suspect his response would be something along the lines of, "I don't know what you mean, we almost never disgree." It's such an uncanny behavior that I have to assume it's intentional. I just don't understand where it's coming from or what he's hoping to accomplish. Is this maybe just his way of being left alone?

[Anonymous No.54412972]

>>54412450
>I like bobs and vagene more than benis
Checkmate.

[Anonymous No.54412997]

>>54412450
tell your boss the guy is annoying

[Anonymous No.54413030]

>>54412450
He might be really bad at his job and he knows it, so is making a big deal of projecting and trying to imply he's better than you. Or maybe he dislikes you because he whispered hello on your first day and you didn't hear him and he thinks you're some Mr Fancypants who blanked him.

People are weird.

[Anonymous No.54413053]

>>54412450
Anyway, advice: stay calm. Next time he interrupts, smile and ask him to walk you through his opinion, or what he means exactly. Don't get flustered even if you want to smash his face in. Just be cool and pass it back to him, and soon people will realise he's a pedantic cock.

[Anonymous No.54413086]

>>54412450
>even when you're trying to agree with them?
Sounds like you can get him to do whatever you want with a bit of reverse psychology.

[Anonymous No.54413169]

>>54412450
Office politics, he just wanna put you down.

[Anonymous No.54413216]

Could be autistic and emotionally retarded. See if he has Aspergers.

[Anonymous No.54413248]

>>54412450
I don't get a lunch break. They aren't legally mandated in my state.

[Anonymous No.54413278]

>>54413030
>>54413053
I don't think he's bad at the job, but I think he's coasting and he knows it. When I first was hired on, I demonstrated a lot of knowledge about the tools we were using. He's been using the same tools for at least as long as me so my boss was probably like "Why the fuck haven't you figured this out when newbie here knew how to use it on day one?"

But this is probably the right reaction, just ask him to explain himself better and watch this behavior evaporate or eventually isolate him.

[Anonymous No.54413319]

>>54412450
One of these two things, or a bit of both:

1) He thinks you are not very good at your job and doesn't want to work with you

2) He is not very good at his job and doesn't want to do hard work or feel threatened by you.

[Anonymous No.54413341]

>>54412561
It is violence, pure violence

He gets a kick out of correcting people. Its his pleasure

Nobody does something they don’t physically enjoy doing

[Anonymous No.54413390]

>>54413278
Ah there we go. Fuck, i'd hate working with you. Newbie who thinks they can run before they can walk - and doesn't realize coasting is WAY better.

You literally answered your own question. Knew this was the answer and have come online to gloat about how you think you are better than someone senior at your work. 1000% asshole but hey if i was your boss maybe i wouldn't care.

[Anonymous No.54413431]

>>54413390
Gee OK fuck me then for asking

[Anonymous No.54413567]

>>54412450
I'd probably just start remarking on his incessant need to disagree with you. Every time he opens his mouth to disagree with you I'd make a joke about how he loves to disagree with you.

The joke would be funny at first and then make him look obsessive after the 20th time. After the first time "hey c'mon guy we are on the same team" After the 8th time "No surprise you don't see eye to eye on me on this one haha".

Eventually it'll be imprinted as part of his image to hate on you and he won't want to do it in fear of people going "there he goes again shitting on anon's opinion".

Of course this is assuming you have the wit to make a joke that is funny and doesn't make you look like an idiot. If you can make other people laugh, people will like you and not like him.

[Anonymous No.54413641]

What kind of job do you work where someone can openly disagree with your boss' instructions without being fired or disciplined? That's my question. Can you tell more details about your work OP?

[Anonymous No.54414041]

>>54413641
I work for a small team of IT professionals (not helpdesk). We're 100% remote. The work is complicated, a thousand details. But our boss gives us a lot of autonomy.

It's not that he's refusing to follow the boss's instructions. It's that he disagrees with what those instructions are, forcing me to go to my director to "clarify" something I already know so he can get it from the horse's mouth. It slows us down and makes me look like an idiot because I'm asking for instructions I was already told and understood the first time.

I wanna be clear that I don't want to dislike him. I would prefer us to be friendly. He's not going anywhere and neither am I. But I'm trying to understand this behavior better before it becomes a bigger problem.

[Anonymous No.54414211]

this exact thing recently happened to me. after a few months of it i went to my boss and said “we don’t synergize well” and “even small tasks take significantly longer when he’s involved.” boss told me: i know, nobody wants to work with this guy, and i’ll find you a new partner. problem solved.

[Anonymous No.54414368]

>>54414211
What's your bosses relationship like with the guy? In my case they've known each other a long time, so I'm definitely the outsider.

At the beginning I thought "Oh OK, this guy is just prickly, that's fine I can work with prickly." Now it's morphed into "Everytime I talk I can guarantee this dude is going to disagree with me, even if I'm repeating something he just said."

[Anonymous No.54414564]

>>54413431
Eat a bullet ass licking try hard

[Anonymous No.54414665]

>>54414564
Here's your (You)

[Anonymous No.54415213]

>>54412450
Inverse everything you say in front of him.

[Anonymous No.54415255]

>>54412450
Work out so he respects you and be assertive, men instantly like a manly man that is friendly

You might have to invest in some chocolate so he admires you

- someone that works with old timers that now has them loving me

[Anonymous No.54415328]

>>54412450
I swear if I don't retire in the next 4 years I'm gonna quit living kek, I just hope my 10 eth, half btc and the gpt I've got recently do well enough kek

[Anonymous No.54415344]

>>54415328
Anon, I strongly advice start buying ropes, pills and razors just in case

[Anonymous No.54415412]

>>54412450

Literally tell him to go fuck himself and then ignore him.

[Anonymous No.54415443]

>>54415328
checkd and kek'd

[Anonymous No.54415445]

>>54415328
that's literally a deadbed stack

[Anonymous No.54415452]

>>54415328
If you truly think you gmi with that you ain't ok

[Anonymous No.54416189]

>>54414041
>It's that he disagrees with what those instructions are, forcing me to go to my director to "clarify" something I already know so he can get it from the horse's mouth. It slows us down and makes me look like an idiot because I'm asking for instructions I was already told and understood the first time.
>forcing me
This guy may be a Machiavellian genius.

[Anonymous No.54416206]

>>54412450
spike his food with hrt and benzos to settle him down

[Anonymous No.54416226]

>>54412450
>I have this guy, a senior coworker, who will jump in and deny or "correct" virtually anything that I have to say.
he's probably doing this because he is not doing anything else or sucks at his job and is gatekeeping his position because he sees you as a threat. don't give him any more opportunities to correct you or fuck with you if you can. let him dig his own grave.

[Anonymous No.54416381]

>>54413567
yhtgb

[Anonymous No.54416960]

>>54414041
If all that you say is true, then talk to your boss. Give an example of the instructions given and [1] your interpretation of those instructions, or [2] your coworkers interpretation of those instructions. If he says [1] is right, then ignore your coworker and have confidence in your own judgement. If he says [2] that your coworker's interpretation is more correct, then you may want to consider that your coworker is trying to help you learn rather than boss you around and you're suffering from main character syndrome totally disregarding advisement from a seasoned coworker.

It is only 1 of these 2 situations. Good luck OP, be humble if it ends up being 2. Only way to find out is talk to your boss about this.

[Anonymous No.54417004]

i don't know if you have this in your field but 15 minute "catchups" with your manager every week, two weeks or month can be very good career wise
you could raise it with your manager through this avenue, "hey also just something i've noticed with x... i'm not sure why he is like that... any ideas or things i could do to improve the working relationship.. etc
managers are often across a lot more than you give them credit for, the good ones KNOW you inside out, even if they don't show it
they are always watching, always seeking out information

[Anonymous No.54417139]

>>54412450
Just save up your farts for him. All workplace problems are really that easy. The language of the ass is universal and you pathetic spreadsheet-monkeys have forgotten.
God you people are dumb.

[Anonymous No.54417343]

>>54412450
Tell him you fantasize about him while you jerknoff or talk about Hitler or something. You need to go full nuclear so he never speaks to you again

[Anonymous No.54419193]

>>54412450
Oh, absolutely astounding! The heavens must have aligned to bestow upon you the most heinous, gut-wrenching, existentially harrowing work experience known to humankind! A coworker who not only dares to know things but actually corrects you? The sheer audacity! How you manage to endure such a ceaseless barrage of unbearable torment is beyond comprehension. Your unyielding fortitude in the face of this daily onslaught should be immortalized in marble, a testament to your unparalleled bravery and resilience.

Truly, you are a beacon of hope for every soul forced to navigate the treacherous landscape of workplace tribulations. Your courage in facing this unspeakable horror shall echo through eternity, inspiring generations yet unborn to stand tall in the face of life's most soul-crushing adversities. May the cosmos grant you the strength to continue your valiant quest, and may your indomitable spirit forever serve as a shining example for us mere mortals.

[Anonymous No.54420975]

>>54414041
>I wanna be clear that I don't want to dislike him.
this is where you're fundamentally wrong OP
you should be thinking of ways to tear him down and rip him apart in front of everyone instead of trying to be "friendly" with him
he is openly hostile to you and you're just letting it all happen

[Anonymous No.54420994]

luckily there is still hope for you OP

>>54419193
you could be like this beta bitchboy making sarcastic remarks online while gleefully taking it up the ass in real life without even realizing that another human being is imposing their power on him
the fact that you're conscious of power in human relationships and have identified your situation as a problem elevates you far above the oversocialized s-oyslurper over here

[Anonymous No.54421003]

>>54412450
You're working with an ENTP, this is normal behavior. He's just trying you to get you to explain and defend your position and judge its merits. You can say 'x is what we're trying to achieve, I think my idea y will gets us there as quick and painless as possible, what are your thoughts?' From there wait for the rebuttal and poke holes 'z could work but then we'd have to do fix x to make it happen , but that's more work how will you get us around that?'. Pain in the ass I know but sometimes z actually IS the better option. When it's not simply state your case and tell him the merits are on your side and it's time to work . Keep your cool and don't give in to emotions, those fuckers relish that shit.

[Anonymous No.54421034]

>>54412450
does he only do it with you or everyone?

[Anonymous No.54421058]

>>54412450
He doesn't do that and you know it. Once again, you're completely in the wrong here.

[Test No.54421066]

>>54412561
Some people are just dumbassess and/or difficult to deal with it. Don’t stress too much about it though, it’s work and you’re getting paid to interact with him. Don’t whine or complain about him; no one cares or wants to deal with that. Also dont be afraid to throw him to the wolves if doing so can advance yourself and the opportunity presents itself.

[Anonymous No.54421081]

>>54413567
This is good advice. Probably the best way to deal with a fucktard like him. Social shaming is usually a good option.

[Anonymous No.54421088]

>>54412450
>what the hell is his problem?
It's not his problem, it's your problem.

[Anonymous No.54421091]

>>54414041
>It [...] makes me look like an idiot because I'm asking for instructions I was already told and understood the first time.
Ah, well there you go - he's using it to destroy your reputation. For fuck's sake, stop falling into his trap.

[Anonymous No.54421101]

>>54414211
The annoying fact is: this is probably what the dickhead wanted, so now he gets to work alone.

Man, sometimes I really hate the kinds of people who work in IT. Some of the most fucked-up passive-aggressive basement-dwelling twats.

[Anonymous No.54421117]

>>54421101
>Man, sometimes I really hate the kinds of people who work in IT. Some of the most fucked-up passive-aggressive basement-dwelling twats.
Er, no... actually
>quietly resets anons monitor settings again once he leaves for the day
That ought to stall him a bit, get those productivity figures down a few percentage points

[Anonymous No.54421158]

>>54412450
Yeah, once for 6 months, he was a ginger fuckwit, ex military so he had a lot of issues. I just quit, so did 2 other people

[Anonymous No.54421167]

>>54414041
Manipulate him to have him ask about the instructions again…
idk, record the meetings in whoch you get the instructions, get the transcript first…
Idk how to do that, but that would be a first step

[Anonymous No.54422598]

>>54412450
lack of respect, do it all the time.

[Anonymous No.54422720]

>>54414041
do you communicate in written form? slack, teams, text, email?

just copy paste a statement he makes word for word and if he disputes it then post the screenshot of him saying the exact same thing.

[Anonymous No.54422822]

Calling out people who act this way usually brings them up short, and do it in a neutral but truthful manner. Don't ask him why he does it, just state your observations.

[Anonymous No.54422875]

>>54412561
I'd just call it out. I've done so in the past with hostile coworkers. Once plausibly deniability is out the window, they generally get their act together because now there's forseeable consequences. Be clear, firm and polite with your grievance and provide a possible path forward. And either move them on or move on yourself, keeping management appraised as to why, if the environment is effecting your morale.
That said, I'm corporate. If you're in a warehouse or something, I don't know what those people are like.

[Anonymous No.54422953]

>>54414041
You're such a faggot, holy shit.

[Anonymous No.54422954]

>>54413390
Why do you hate getting competent team members? My job gets easier when we find one, I love scouting the self driven graduates. You sound like a retard that NEEDS to get fired.
>>54413431
This post makes me hate you, but only in the context of you don't belong here and are obviously a limpwristed faggot. We wish you the best of luck on any other website.
>>54414041
Orright, back on track:
Don't clarify for him, what's wrong with you?
You heard the instruction, you understood it, do the job. Tell him to go seek clarification if he thinks it varies from your understanding.
>>54414211
A happy ending, sweet.

[Anonymous No.54423089]

>>54415443
What are you checking newfag? There's no digits to check. Lurk more, or you'll just contribute to further dilluting the culture that brought you here from facebook.

[Anonymous No.54424031]

>>54413390
Check out this loser lol

[Anonymous No.54424068]

Tell him you think he’s doing a good job at work

[Anonymous No.54424541]

>>54412450
The answer to any problem, ultimately, is violence.

[Regina Sierra No.54424887]

>>54412450
The answer my friend is to acknowledge him everytime he corrects you by saying “thanks for correcting me” … but say it from the heart sincerely in the same tone everytime… he will stop within the day … youre welcome<div class="xa23b"><span class="xa23t"></span><span class="xa23i"></span></div>

[Anonymous No.54425003]

feign ignorance and build up their ego by letting them elaborate
if they are retarded enough to not see their own contrarian reddit ways, they won't notice what you're doing
if they make shitty decisions on the job, on a joint project, try to weakly give a counterpoint (covering your ass), if they don't take it go with their decision and blame them if things go away to your boss. it won't be throwing them under the bus if you *tried* to change their mind (good to have the try documented in email or something too, immature assholes like him may just deny it).
still it's a miserable way to live, if he doesn't get fired after fucking up a number of times just seek another job or department.

[Anonymous No.54425025]

>>54425003
*awry

[Anonymous No.54425035]

>>54412450
Bait him to do something retarded by suggesting the proper way to do it and let him do it the contrarian retarded way.
Its like telling some fag to not get the vaccine and he does get it and dies later form it.

[Anonymous No.54426010]

>>54414041
>We're 100% remote.
Hahahahahahahaha How The Fuck are Reddit Coworkers Real Hahahaha Nigga Just Mute The Wagie And Walk Away Like Nigga Close Your Eyes Haha
Lmao how is a teams wagie even real, just press the mute button

[Anonymous No.54426886]

>>54416960
Why has nobody said this is the right thing to do? Just do this OP or anyone in a similar situation. Try to learn how to see reality a little bit at least.

[Anonymous No.54426914]

>>54412450
Call him out on it somewhat aggressively but not enough to get you in trouble. Preferably in front of coworkers who like you. Make him unconfortable. When he's humiliated and sees that you don't bend over like a bitch, he'll think twice before doing it. Get some ammo against him by remembering specific encounters that he did this to you so you can quote him and throw it in his face.

[Anonymous No.54426947]

>>54422954
>self driven graduates
Problem is they eventually realise they're not going to get paid more doing more than the bare minimum and they burn out
Source: happened to me

[Anonymous No.54426960]

Just smile and nod along with the comfort of knowing you wipe your cock and balls all over his coffee mug every morning

[Anonymous No.54427074]

>>54422875
OP is an office drone. If OP was in a warehouse OP or one of his coworkers would have told the guy he's a fucking idiot and this thread wouldn't exist.

[Anonymous No.54427092]

>>54412450
1. become the boss
2. stop giving a shit

[Anonymous No.54427108]

stop working jobs where someone is tracking your lunch breaks. You can do better and actually enjoy it.

[Anonymous No.54427129]

>>54413431
God she's so hot
Looks like my ex if she wore makeup

[Anonymous No.54427191]

>>54412450
>Basically, what the hell is his problem?
He sounds like a Smartest Boy in the Room.
GAMMA MALE.
Gamma males don't get jokes.
So, if you can find a joke that intentionally plays on some 'mis meaning' you will make every laugh as he tries to correct you by being the Smartest Boy, while everyone else laughs at the joke you set him up to be the punchline of.

[Anonymous No.54428322]

I find saying nothing is generally the best option. Normies are just doing what they think advances their career, it may not even be personal. I don't even have aspergers, but your careerist normie fill me with a vague disdain at the best of times, no point arguing with them. A real man has his own business and is his own boss, and your normie is merely larping as an alpha if he is an office cuck.
>t. office cuck.
You could of course fight him, or at least pay a man to beat him up outside a bar onetime. But this seems too much effort, and the latter probably a crime. So rising above a better option.

[Anonymous No.54428873]

>>54412450
Tell him that trolling is a art