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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/biz/ - Business & Finance

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54703096 No.54703096 [Reply] [Original]

>Anon, can you please add your hours to this bug. Also, you marked this feature as active when it should be implemented. Don't do that again. I scheduled a 2 hour team meeting for this afternoon to discuss the states of your story. We can touch base after to discuss how we can get your new tasks into this weeks release. Make sure the burndown chart looks good.

>> No.54703114
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54703114

>>54703096
I don’t know what any of that means

>> No.54703115

>sorry ladies my video game just hit 100,000 units sold

>> No.54703725

i want to blow a no nut month load on goblinas face, second from left

>> No.54703737

damn they're all so old

>> No.54703751

>>54703096
The stuff of nightmares.
This is how I got my final burnout...

Idiots who only care about their statistics and ignore reality and are ready to destroy lives for their precious numbers.

>> No.54703753

>>54703096
Working with women is awful. Any power they have is hoarded and they try hella hard to make the tiniest jobs seem like the most difficult.

>> No.54703768

>>54703751
>Putting performance metrics on fucking everything and not realizing people just game the shit out of them
Managers are fucking pyschos.

t. manager

>> No.54703777
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54703777

>>54703114

i understood every word

>> No.54703778

>>54703096
real men don't agile

>> No.54703808

>>54703751
This is it really. It's a cope for actual ownership and responsibility to something with tangible impact on reality. "Tech" is rotting from the inside due to gamification of all this.

>> No.54703835

>>54703096
i'm here for my benefits, i'll take the 2 on the left

>> No.54704084
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54704084

>>54703768
>>54703751
>>54703753
>>54703778
>>54703808
>>54703808
How do we fight back reality bros?

>> No.54704097
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54704097

>>54704084
Subvert everything. This is financial advice.

>> No.54704115

>>54703096
You have a female PM? My condolences.

>> No.54704291

>>54704097
What do you suggest I subvert first?

>> No.54704660

>>54703096
>I scheduled a 2 hour team meeting for this afternoon

>Delete meeting and take 2 hour lunch.
>"Anon, why weren't you at the meeting this afternoon?"
>Oh, I didn't see it in Outlook, can you reschedule?
And then they never reschedule and everyone forgets about it.
Problem solved.

>> No.54704791

>>54703096
I just ignore people like this and so do my coworkers. If they go to my direct manager then he'll tell them to fuck off. A few years ago my company got a new CTO. He hired a busybody PM who went around trying to turn everything into spreadsheets and artificial deadlines. We all ignored him. The CTO told everyone to be better at participating in the micro management nightmare, and we ignored him. Now the CTO is gone and the PM is just clinging on as a vestigial husk, with no power and a learned helplessness that keeps his mouth shut.
Our real productivity is incredible. Imagine working at a functional company.

>> No.54704824

>>54703096

that older bitch in the middle can totally get it

>> No.54704878
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54704878

>>54703768
>Anon, how many hours do you estimate implementing this feature will take
>don't know. could be days could be weeks depending on how many problems we run into during integration
>come on, just give a number, it doesn't have to be exact
>yes, but you'll blame me if it takes longer
>the meeting won't end until you give an estimate
>ok, two weeks
>that's too long

>> No.54704928
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54704928

>>54704878
More like:
>Anon, I need you to close X numbers of tickets per week
>OK
>Tickets now made for every mundane thing ever to pump those numbers up

>> No.54704974

>>54704928
our PO is constantly fending off attempts from the project leads to use the amount of tickets closed as an estimate

>> No.54705138

>>54704878
that's called a spike anon

>> No.54705231

Idk what the fuck happened
everything in this thread is now in my workplace
none of it was there a decade ago
I have more than enough saved up to tell them to choke on a fat dick but it's just upsetting that I had such a good thing only to have it go so wrong

>> No.54705359

>>54703096
These people are losing their jobs and you're laughing.

>> No.54705377

>>54705231
Wherever there's a healty productive part of the economy the managers will come in and extract their piece of the action.

>> No.54705854

lol when I got my PM gig I just told them that I'll make the numbers up as we go along to make it look like we're the underdogs that always manage to pull a rabbit out of our ass.

Also told them to work as late as possible since it'd be easier to brush off any request to return to the office with data showing we're a lot more cost effective when we work at night.