/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I feel like I'm going fucking crazy.

>be overweight my whole life
>always the ~fat girl~
>landwhale my way until I'm an adult
>weighed 220 pounds at 5 foot 4
>finally take control of myself and get down to 155
>still overweight
>it's been months and my weight won't change
>hate the way I look in the mirror
>still see 220 pound me
>gigantic stomach still
>stick out from the sides
>arms are still obese girl levels and overlap
>too embarrassed to go outside over my body
>anxiety makes me think everyone is staring, laughing and judging me
>spring is coming so I can't hide under my jackets anymore
>family claims I'm small
>told I don't need to lose anymore weight
>they've said the same thing when I was near obese levels
>boyfriend doesn't understand how I'm ashamed and embarrassed over my body and calls me tiny
>all I think about is how ugly my body is
>obsess over it from when I wake up until I go to bed
>I still see landwhale me
>I just want to be a fucking healthy weight for the first time in my life, feel comfortable in my body for the first time and wear cute j-fash
>exercise almost daily and eat well now
>weight won't come off no matter what I do

Picture isn't me.