/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I feel out of love with my boyfriend and now I'm terribly in love with an ex friends with benefits of mine.
Like looking at him just hurts, he's sexy as hell but standoffish and probably wouldn't give a a second thought if I died tomorrow. He also is generally shitty towards chicks because he sleeps around but I just want to be in his spotlight only.
Half of the attraction is that a lot of girls lust after him but I'm the one that's closest to him, and I get super jealous when he's even around other chicks.. dudes not even my fucking boyfriend but I can't stop obsessing with him.
Meanwhile my boyfriend loves me to pieces and trusts me but he's always cracking jokes that I thought was just a phase and it would eventually go away and he'd mature but I was wrong. It's annoying, and almost is becoming a deal breaker for me.
He has a great body (body builder type) but his actions come off as more cute than manly and sexy and it's his personality that's pretty much turning me off.
He's shy and has no backbone despite the fact he looks like he could snap someone in half.

And I know my future is secured with my boyfriend and I know i would never be able to have a solid relationship with ex benefits guy because he just has a shit personality.
But I still lust after the other guy and not my boyfriend and it kinda makes me want to kill myself
Sorry for blog