/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>lost around 17lbs
>felt good but wanted to loose a bit more
>decide to just get it done quickly and try to eat one or two times a day
>it works, have lost about 6lbs more
>aggressive disgust towards body becomes more and more frequen
>mfw I feel fatter than ever, almost like a disgusting whale
>even though haven't been under 132lbs for years
>eating has become stressful and I feel guilty afterwards but I love food so it's hard
>lately have opted for vomiting few times and have gotten urges to do exercises all suddenly to burn off something I ate
Lolita should look good on me now but what I see is ugly fat girl. I look so stumpy and gross. Idk I feel like I'm slipping into eating disorder or something because what I see can't be realistic. I just want to be pretty, petite princess pls.