/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I wanted to post more on insta but I can’t bring myself to go on it because so many people are cute and pretty and I hate being reminded that I’ll never, ever look like them. Cosplayer or jfashion wearer, it doesn’t matter. I have small eyes, a mannish face shape, eye wrinkles when I smile, thin disgusting lips, it’s like I have too much skin on my cheeks so they sag down and pull my resting mouth into a roastie-looking frown, and worst of all I have horrible nasal labial lines and there’s nothing I can do about them.
I’m actually crying as I type this. I got all dressed up in jfash and had my friend take pictures today, but then I’m reminded how old and ugly looking I am and don’t want to post anything.
I can make myself look pretty good with beautycam and stuff but it just isn’t me and it hurts to look at because of it.

Additionally I don’t know if I’ll ever get married or have kids because my standards are higher than what I can get - I may be ugly but I’m not fat and I TRY to make my hair and clothes look good, unlike guys who are this deep into weird hobbies and “4chan humor” (that sounds stupid but idk how else to describe it). And so I honestly fear for my life in 10 years if I fail to get work I like, I don’t have a husband, and I’m too old and ugly for the clothes I like.

Sorry for the retardation. I had to vent.