/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I'm really sorry that this isn't really /cgl/ related, but I don't have anyone else I can talk to about it.
If I don't greentext it I'll just ramble..

>Brother dies when I'm 8.
>Bipolar mother has severe breakdown and pulls me out of school.
>Have zero close human interaction outside of emotionally abusive mum and histrionically jealous sister until I'm 18.
>Meet a guy online. Jump into a 'relationship.'
>Turns out to be a legitimate animal-abusing sociopath who learns about my mum and starts doing exactly the same things.
>Cheats on me and generally treats me like trash. Every time I try to leave he threatens to hurt or kill himself, says that 'his' friends will all blame me and I'll have nobody again.
>Finally get my first job at 22, start to gain confidence and grow closer to small group of friends.
>Leave ex right before fourth year (this January.)
>End up falling in love with one particular friend. Dating him now.
>Generally being autistic pushes the rest of the group away from me.
>Leave job because it was where my ex lived (3 hours travel from my own home.)
>Only really have my now boyfriend and my old, close online friend who has also just started dating someone.
>I've been nothing but kind and supportive because I know she makes him happy and I like hearing him gush about her.
>Try to talk about my guy and friend is just a relentless asshole about every single detail.

It's my boyfriend's birthday on the 29th.. He lives with the group of friends I fucked up with, and my ex is still their friend so he's invited himself and his new girlfriend along to the party. Everybody likes her more than me, even though she's a methhead who he was cheating on me with for two years. I'm so scared of going and I don't want to tell my boyfriend because I know he'll be hurt to know I am.

I just want a friend. I want to be able to talk to somebody who won't be a dick. I want someone to teach me how to make real friends.