/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>tfw taobaotrends litteraly refunded everything
>when it was my dumb post office's fault for probably losing my fucking package
I feel bad now.
Also i'm scared to order on taobao again because i'm scared it'll get fucking lost or something again.

kind of a long vent because i don't want to bother my friends with any of this crap, bear with me.
>high school dropout because violently harassed/bullied and even now i'm still very uncomfortable when i have to go into a school (to pick up lil bro for example)
>not going to school, not working but government help for muh depression/anxiety
>still studying
not at an actual school,just doing these programs where you study by yourself/can ask questions/do exercices/send homework online and take your exam when you want to and then get a diploma.
>study like 2 hours a day away from home at a library to be concentrated and do whatever i want for the rest of the day
>already got a first diploma with 75% and compliments from the teacher
>will have two more diplomas by 2017 and then maybe search for a job
>sold some clothing from my teenage identity crisis phase to afford a small lolita wardrobe and start wearing it again
>feels good,makes lolita friends,...
>parents are major side eyeing me for having some money like that without moving my ass >and on top of it all, buy "chinese princess costumes" instead of normal clothes with it
>father doesn't miss an occasion to mock me about it and tell me how it's ridiculous/everyone will stare/i'll get attacked and it'll be part of my fault/...
I feel super guilty,like i am such an "easy" life and everyone is working their ass off and i shouldn't be relaxing so much.
I feel like i won't ever go anywhere in life because i didn't have my high school diploma (nor will i ever have it) and maybe end up a sad wageslave with a job i hate and then sell all my lolita because i'm too miserable to even wear it and too poor to buy more.
I'm super easily tired making "waking up early" a pain even if i go to bed early and being assburger doesn't help socially either.

Which SS buy from mercari and accept to mark the package as gift and mark it down?
I emailed zenmarket and they were perfect but they won't buy from mercari, fucking hell.
Buyee is apparently terrible/overpriced and so is Japonica.
Fuck living in France, I just don't want to have to worry about custom taxes.

>want to begin drawing
>want to continue lolita
>want to play games
But i have absolutely no motivation whatsoever and just lies around feeling like talentless useless trash while watching netflix/youtube videos/...And I feel so bored all the time too, bored and melancholic. Even if i had a good day I feel "weird".
I've been diagnosed with depression before but i'm way better.