/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

So, confessions!

If you meet me I will wear pretty dresses and do my hair and make up for about half an hour or longer, but my room is a gigantic mess, I am a lazy slob and I probably havent showered for days. I just look good on the outside.

I constantly buy dresses for the person I wish I was but I am not. Dresses that do not fit, skirts that are too small, etc. Even the dresses that I do fit I almost never wear because I am just too insecure. I always wish to be a badass who doesnt care what everyone thinks and wears cool clothes whenever she likes, but actually I am shy, insecure and I hate attention, so most of my stuff is barely of never worn - and I mostly have classic/casual stuff, nothing OTT. I still struggle so much to gather the courage to wear it.

I really hate it when people say "I am not insane, I will never by brand dresses for $300!!"
Seriously, everyone hates on brandwhores, but I have yet to meet one. Most people are the complete opposite and it is awful. STFU about hating brand. No one cares, and you are probably just a whiny teenager who is excatcly like all the people you hate, just on the other side of the spectrum.

I spend way too much money on Lolita and clothes in general. I live with my parents so I do not have any financial responsibilites, but I never ever manage to save some money. Everything I earn is sooner or later spend on dresses, accesoires, ecetera.
Right now my clothes are one of the few joys in my life, so I cannot really bring myself to stop it.

/Confessions.

>>7344388

>>>7343915 Anon here

>I fell ya. My friends from high school are still around, but our interests are vastly different now so we're hardly friends.

It is shit in both ways. As I wrote, almost all my friends moved away, and made new friends to hang out with, and I feel so left behind.

>I feel like I'll never make friends again.

Same feeling here, I havent made new friends for years anyway, and now since I am alone at Uni I realise how much of a spaghetti beta faggort I am. Shit, damn it.
Also, I really truly loved my old friends, and I havent found anyone I really like - I feel like I can never have such friends again.

This is so silly, Uni is supposed to be party and fun and connecting with people yet I spend my weekends on 4chan and can barely managa to hold a conversation. People either bore me or I just do t know how to connect with them. :(

>tfw closet full of unworn clothes
>tfw no occasion to ever where these dresses
>tfw my own mom told me "Anon, yu have such pretty dresses! You should really go to more partys so you can actually wear them!"
>tfw even my mom thinks I am a social loser

I just took the Beck Depression Inventar Test (not sure if this is the correct English term), a test which my uncle, who is a psychologist, suggested as a test which is usually done to check if a patient has depressions, and scored fucking 26 points, which clearly throws me into the moderatly severe depressions.
I took the test on various legitimate platforms, all with the same result: moderatly severe depressions.

But I just dont know what to do. I dont even know what to do or feel anymore.

The worst thing is: I should be happy! I had a pretty good childhood, have a loving and caring family, a stabile home, I study eactly what I wanted to study at the University I wanted to go, I am healthy. There is no real resaon I shouldnt be happy, no reason to be depressed. It just doesnt make any sense to me.
And I feel so bad about it. Like a spoiled child who just wants attention, who is ungrateful. I should be happy, I should try harder.

I dont dare to talk to anyone about this. I am not sure if I should go to the mental health centre at my Uniersity; I feel so wrong about this, like a poser - I should be happy and content with my life.

Any advices?