/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I get very upset every time some gull mentions pregnancy or having kids, because I cannot have them myself.
I just spent a week with my LDR bf. I picked him up from the airport in lolita, but through the week I was so upset, that I couldn't find joy to wear it again. I couldn't stop thinking about being broken, and that I'm wasting away his life, not being able to give him kids. I shared my pain with him, but he says it's totally okay, and that he doesn't mind. It should have probably made me feel better, but it only made me want to cry more.
At times like that I wish I were with someone with who I couldn't/wouldn't be able to have kids anyway, and that I could just enjoy hobbies with together.
>tfw no lolita gf

>be me, psychotic lolita from thread before
>not taking meds
>have breaks every other day
>the only thing that soothes me is buying more clothes
>b-but at least i'm still skinny and the pills won't make me fat if i don't take them, right

god i just wish i could talk to my lolita acquaintances about it because they're my only friends but all we talk about are clothes and it's oversharing. i can't keep buying my feelings. i can't tell anybody about it because everyone thinks i'm happy and nobody wants to be friends with a crazy person