/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>been struggling with health for a few months now
>just got put on oxygen
>have to lug around a machine everywhere I go
>just want to stay at home and wither away
>don't have any motive for getting dresses because I can't even work now
>can't dress up in lolita which is the one thing that ever made me feel truly pretty for 8 years


Guys I hate this. I feel like I'm not even human any more. I wish I'd just finally kick it from whatever this is

I'm pretty sure I'm either losing or have already lost my only lolita friend. We used to talk a ton but it's died down a lot. I understand that life gets in the way, but I'll see her posting on insta and I just sort of get disheartened and feel like I'm burdening her with trying to talk so I've tried to converse less and less with her.

I've been a lolita for a long time, 8 years. In those 8 years I'd never joined a comm and had never really had a close lolita friend besides her, and now I'm sure she's gone. I know friendships fade but this ones hitting me hard, I trusted her with so much and it feels like I'm holding onto a ghost of a person who's moved on a long time ago.

I'm pretty sick right now with something that probably won't ever go away so it's not like I can join a comm and try and forget about her, and making friends online is way harder than it used to be. I've tried the friend finder thread but most people who have added me never actually started a conversation. Most people on social media think I'm stuck up when I'm really just shy.

I miss my friend and I feel so alone.