/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>beginning of June
>motivated to lose weight for cosplay and Lolita
>lost 11lbs
>feel like I can finally learn self control on what I eat instead of being lazy and binging or binging on food when I’m sad
>bf is going to go back to school and work on his mental health
>now it’s September

None of that happen. I’m over 200lbs and none of my clothes fit well. Im too poor to afford new clothes. hate myself every time I look in the mirror and I want to cry. Nothing makes me happy anymore. My relationship is me taking care of my bf and trying to get him to do something but he’s just a fucking NEET. I get mental health is hard and I suffer from it but he doesn’t do fucking anything. He barely cleans the house.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like crying. I just found out the only pair of jeans that fit me alright have a hole in the crotch part. Today I’m starting to track my weight again but after this, I just. want to give up.