/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

My only regret with my wedding was that I didn't wear Lolita to it. My wedding was cheap and rushed because of various reasons so I had an ill-fitting normie dress that I ordered online. I wish I had at least gotten it altered to fit me better as it was just a little bit big. It was still nice but not Lolita like I wanted to wear for it. Sometimes when I see people posting their nice wedding coords on cof I find myself feeling slightly bitter that I wasn't able to do that. Maybe we'll have an anniversary party or something in a few years where I can wear the obnoxious Ott wedding coord I wanted to. I could actually afford one now and take my time putting it together.

I was planning to go to Japan with my then boyfriend and some friends in November later this year. However, I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago after our relationship just got worse and worse and things have been so fucking difficult. I saw him at a party after we broke up and he did a lot of things that were honestly disgusting. After that I told my friends that I didn’t feel comfortable traveling overseas with this person as he seems extremely volatile and I had genuine concerns for my safety. I haven’t had much contact with him but from what I’ve heard he’s still a pretty volatile person and it honestly breaks my heart.

I had been planning to go on this trip for ages and had invested a fair amount of time and money into it and I just feel so defeated. The time that they’re meant to leave is rapidly approaching and the closer the date the worse I feel. They’re travelling with a good friend of mine and we were planning on having a full on cgl day and I was really looking forward to it.

I know I shouldn’t feel so down because I’m probably going to go next year with my current boyfriend and my life has been a lot more stable in comparison to a few months ago. I just really wanted to hang out with my friend in Japan and it’s just making me feel extremely depressed.