/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

Okay, to revise my feel from >>10009268
tfw your best friend buys your DD on a payment plan for you after she sees you whining about it on cgl.
I just,,,,, have a lot of feels right now
all good ones

>>10009292
Also the dress is JetJ Dame a la Licorne in the 2016 release (normal waist cut). Purple best colourway.
Heck yeah I'm crying, I wish her all the good too. She's a good noodle, she didn't even know it was me whining and offered anyway.

sigh
>mailman put my customs notice under my outside bins instead of through my letterbox like a NORMAL person
>find tracking number when taking the bins out
>check tracking, my item is currently being shipped BACK to japan
>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
>ring up parcelforce, having visions of my dress being destroyed upon its return to my SS
>no crying because I'm a hollow husk of a person at this point
>it's only my fucking dream dress ye whatever who even cares?????
>parcelforce tells me there's fuck all I or they can do, just wait basically
>too scared to check the tracking, SS doesn't seem to respond to my emails
>muster up the courage to check today
>"parcel is at a customs processing office near you"
>still have to pay £40 worth of customs

tfw £40 is equivalent to 5 hours of working at my job
but at least my dress is still alive

other feel
>tfw big birthday is coming up
>tfw all my friends are busy or out of the city
>tfw no bday party
>tfw wouldn't know what to do anyway because I don't like events that are about me
>ALSO tfw best lolita friend has moved away
miss you already, you'll prob read this so hey
>tfw she gives you the most thoughtful gift ever before she leaves
>TFW CAN'T WEAR GIFT WITHOUT GETTING SAD
don't worry about me though, I promise I'm ok, I just wanted to vent

tl;dr I know only pain and suffering

>bf breaks up with me last night
>then he decides he wants me again
>re-breaks up with me today

I've been mind fucked and idk where to go from here

I fucking hate myself anons
I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate myself and deserve death
>tfw I hate cheaters with a passion
>LDR partner fucks up badly in some other aspect of life that affects me very very detrimentally but it's not really their fault
>Someone very close to me gets very sick to the point where we dont have much time left
>find out the news, go drinking
>get more drunk than I have ever been in my entire life
>have sex with some girl
>hate self for it
>hate hate hate hate hate hate hate self for it
>like I cant stop crying and being sick
>I love my partner
>fuck
>fuck fuck fuck
>I hate myself so much I wish I could take it all back I wish I hadn't done it
>dont even know why I did it
>literally have no clue, she wasn't someone I find attractive at all
>not her fault tho, I still fucked her
>starting to think I may have been spiked because I don't remember anything and I don't usually black out when I get drunk, and I'm way more sick than usual, not to mention I don't usually get very drunk even if I drink loads
>even if I was spiked it still happened and I hate myself so so so so sososoososossososososo much
>didn't even enjoy sex
>just wish I was dead
>partner is the sweetest and I love him so much

he was going to cosplay with me at our next event.
also that was my first experience with another girl and I wish it hadn't happened like that, but it's kind of minor. Either way I'm a rotten scumbag and I deserve to die. How could I do this to him??? I don't get it. Why do I have to ruin things.

>>9364196
I heard that she got hit by a car

now I'm sad because my first con was at 18. I have 3 cons planned for 2017 so I still have hope. I will be of legal drinking age and I'm relying on my social boyfriend to initiate conversation about anime/vidya and make some friends. Of course I'd like to suck it up and maybe ask for some girls instagrams if I like their cosplay and want to try to make friends but I am so painfully shy.
I feel like shit though because when I was 14-16 I was heavily into anime and had no friends to share it with. It's the only thing that helped my spiralling depression at the time and I would have really loved to be able to do "cringey XD" stuff with some friends. My cosplay would have been some shitty home stuck or naruto but I feel like it would have been a blast.

Oh well, better late than never right ?

I'm so close to finishing University, but the workload is crippling. On the bright side, I finish with enough time to go fabric shopping, bake Christmas cookies and plan my 25th birthday.