/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>9214699
>part of online community for ten years (I'm 19), been heavily involved for a little less than four years
>For years I was absolutely enamored with everyone, was sure I had found my "true companions" that I dreamed of finding as a child
>For a while now shit's been declining in activity
>Recently everyone lost faith of the people in charge as they became increasingly elitist, community is beginning to fall apart
>Realized that out of around 20 people left, I deeply care for less than five of them
>We're spread out all over the world, we're all poor by some shitty miracle, and I find it difficult to picture a future with them because they're not too well off
>Never had too many friends in person, not socially terrible but just never could find common ground with anyone, even in college now I just can't connect
>realize I might have nobody in the future to talk to, worse still that I'm going to lose the people that meant the entire world to me only a year ago
>been melancholic as fuck lately
>terrified I'm going to have a future with no friends or SO

I remember the days in Middle School where I just had nobody to talk to for what seemed like ages on end, the people I did befriend were such superficial relationships it probably adversely affects befriending people now. Shit just sucks and I don't see a way out by this point.

>>9176320
>went to small private school since Kindergarden
>Never make friends
>get into anime around ninth grade, still can't relate to anyone
>Hope college will be better
>Connect with some girl I knew when we were younger, she's ambivalent towards me but she doesn't have anyone else either
>Make another friend through her, actually get along great
>Original friend starts getting more passive aggressive over time for no apparent reason, and I'm like 99% sure it wasn't jealousy
>Three of us go to Supercon, she gets there three hours earlier and then says she wants to leave after an hour
>Ragequits on us, never see her again, enjoy the rest of the con
>Later find out around the time she started distancing herself from us is also when she connected with her new college roommates on Facebook
>This is the person who was complaining about getting abandoned by her friends less than a year before
>Friend leaves to Vermont for College
>realize I'm back where I started
>Not really sure how to keep going from here

I'm wondering if I'll actually befriend anyone here at college. Not because I can't myself, but because I just can't figure how I'd find those people. I've had online friends for years that I'm extremely close with, but they're all much too far away and we're all young and poor. There's a con coming up and for the first time ever I feel no incentive to go, because I have nobody to go with.