/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I honestly just want to die
I love lolita, but it only gives me temporary happiness, I always end up back where I started, the last three years have been full of exhaustion and self hatred, I can’t stand this anymore but I’m too much of a pussy to just Kill myself, I just want to be happy, I want to be able to look at myself without breaking into tears, I want to feel okay without being hungry, I want to not nearly pass out when I stand up, I want the motivation that I once had when I was a child, I’ll never have that. What’s the point of even being alive when the only thing you can successfully do is hurt others. I just want to wither away, I want to end everything, I’m so tired, when I say I’m tired people assume I want sleep, what I mean is that I’m just tired of everything, breathing, eating, blinking, talking, seeing, I hate it all, I just want to end everything so I can finally stop feeling pain. But I’m too much of a failure to even kill myself