/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I've finally found a group of friends in my comm who I really like and who are just so funny and nice and I'm terrified. I'm so scared that I'm just going to fuck up and annoy them just like last time and then they'll be gone too. I can't stop crying because I love my friends SO MUCH and I'm so scared of losing them just by being my shitty autistic self. It makes me terrified to go to meets because like, what if this is the one where they finally get sick of me...
Being autistic is the worst. I'd never wish it upon anybody in the world. It's a curse that nobody understands and that you can't control no matter how badly you want to. No amount of therapy in this world will ever make me normal and it SUCKS. I just want to be a lolita and have fun. I'm tired of being a loner in every single thing I do...