/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I think I'm pretty cute irl, I'm not flawless or drop-dead gorgeous, but people tell me I'm adorable, and I think I look alright in the mirror.
But jesus christ, pictures of myself make me want to fucking cry. I'm not photogenic at all. If the picture isn't taken at exactly the right angle, I look so horrific and I absolutely hate it. Maybe this isn't a confession, more of a rant, but I just saw some pictures of myself taken at a recent event and I wish I could change my face. Why do I only look pretty at certain angles? I'm so embarrassed my comm saw those pictures, they're going to think such shit of me.

>cleaning my room
>find poem from ex he wrote for me when i broke up with him (one time out of many)
>get sad reading it, remembering this quiet guy who used to write me poems and draw me things and make me cds and how talented he was
>miss him
>remember he's now dependent on heroin and alcohol and a cheater and a rapist

hm. i'm just sad. i feel like i miss a person who doesn't exist anymore, he's so different now. it's just really upsetting to see such a talented and gentle person turn into such a piece of shit. anyone else have similar experiences? sorry for not cgl related, i'm just bummed.

After years of obsessing over it, I finally decided to start wearing lolita. I've been browsing lm and jauction sites for the past week looking for my "perfect first dress". I see plenty of dresses I like a lot and that I would love to wear, but I think I'm still intimidated, and scared to take the plunge. I'm pretty sure I'm overthinking it.
>Should I be paying that much for my first dress?
>What if I lose interest?
>What if my coord looks like shit?
>What if I look like shit?
>Should I start a wardrobe with a plain jsk or an intricate print?
Maybe I've just spent too much time on /cgl/. It's helped me get a good grasp on the fashion, but made me pretty critical of others, and myself too, I guess.

I even joined my local comm's group on fb. I looked through some of the pictures from their meets and they look so nice and like they're having so much fun. I wish I wasn't so scared of fucking up.