/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>10105309

My comm had a meet planned but it got cancelled. So I'll ask some friends if they want to hang out. The meet wasn't to my taste so nothing much lost there: I like hanging out with my friends more anyway.

Also, what is the print in the OP pic?

This is probably going to be a ramble. I met one of my best friends through lolita, and I'd never give it up for the world. I love the way it makes me feel when I wear it, like I'm actually feminine and fierce as all fuck. I've learned how to make jewellery and style wigs and create accessories, it's done so much good for me.

But there have been some negative aspects. No matter how much weight I lose I'll always be too tall. Like other anons in this thread, I got into it when I was a skelly teen, and it's hard to come to terms with the fact that I don't have that body type anymore.
I always think 'well if I was wearing normie stuff right now, I wouldn't be too tall,' but that's not true - I'm still not the right height for things to fall as they should on me. Lolita kind of helped with that feeling, even though I began to hate my height a couple of years ago because of it -- earlier this year I just kind of thought, fuck it, I'm going to wear what I like, regardless of whatever people think. It's the same mantra I use when people think I'm weird for wearing lolita, so by that extension I shouldn't care whether someone wearing the same fashion as me thinks I'm weird. Either no one's opinions matter or everyone's opinions matter, and I prefer living by the former.
Also, baby and aatp's low waist cuts actually look great on me, I'm proud to say. Fuck it, everyone should be able to admit when they look good!
It's made me way more ballsy, probably a wee bit too ballsy, but I'd rather be able to stand up for myself than not.

tl;dr to my weird rant: I love lolita and I love being a lanky weirdo in frills

This photo made me take the plunge into lolita. I don't even dress in ott sweet, but I just always thought this was so lovely. I wanted lolita friends to walk around with since I saw it, and now I have lolita friends too!

hold me gulls, feels hit me hard after months of keeping them in

I've always been jealous of people who have friends that are interested in their hobbies. I want to walk around with someone like pic related, I want a close knit circle of lolita friends. I have really bad social anxiety so even though I have a modest wardrobe of lolita coords I can't bring myself to step out of the house in them. I know if I had a friend with me I wouldn't be nearly as afraid, but I'm the only person I know this side of my city that is into lolita. My best friend hates it and makes jokes about it, my other close friend is such a weeb that she thinks himekaji is 'kawaii lolita fashun from nippon desu!' I used to have a really close friend who wanted to borrow my dresses and wear it out with me, but we both moved away from each other and we aren't close anymore. The people I made friends with at uni have turned out to be douchebags who only talk to me when they want something (they did something this week that screwed me over and really made me not want to be their friend anymore but it's kind of long so I'll leave it for another day, plus it's not completely cgl related)

also I'm drowning in rent payments, my workload for uni right now is so intense that I don't have enough time for a job. I've literally considered sugaring just so I have enough money to get the things I want (I'm getting by on my student loan) and put money into savings. Can't spend anything else on lolita anymore.
The financial shit is the cherry on top and it hearkens me back to last year when I didn't think I'd be going to uni (which caused me to be majorly depressed because I thought I had no prospects) but I didn't have to pay rent and at least I had a job that I could blow all on brand.

tl;dr - anxious poorfag wishes she has money and friends