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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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>> No.8762363 [View]
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8762363

>be me, 21 old dude
>cosplayed for 6 years
>low self-esteem, depression
>try my best to accept myself, take care body and face, work out a lot
>met this girl few years ago in convention
>10/10 for me, cosplays too, many same interests, quite a person herself as well
>fall for her, haven't dated anyone since my last relationship (ended 4 years ago, fwb's don't count)
>something going on with her, but not enough to date
>fights due to my overthinking and depression
>this april
>we hadn't talk properly after convention in february
>huge fight when my self esteem has been at worst
>screwed up our friendship
>haven't talked nothing since
>my friends and psychiatrist tell me it gets better if I just let it go
>doesn't help
>depression and self-hate have gotten worse, constantly annoyed or anxious
>taking a serious toll on me and my friends who can't help
>tfw when I screwed up an important friendship and crush
>can't be myself because I blame myself and I am ashamed of ruining it
>I can't do nothing expect wait or let go

I am seriously afraid of going to next conventions, too ashamed to see her or her friends (although I'm all okay with them, they don't care about our stuff) Even a glimpse of her ruins my con mood and overall feeling.

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