/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>10009756
>using this image and not the superior version
Bait thread alert, jannies plz

I somehow managed to get Halloween off, but I'm a loneita so I might just dress up and wander around downtown... any suggestions for fun solo Halloween things?

>>10009797
visiting cemeteries and historical sights are a nice idea. Or if your town has any oddity museums

>>10009756
>>10009756
got any more of those memes?

>>10009767
>speant
>ita's
>critacism
>replia
Do you even spellcheck, bro?

>tfw lonelita

Please spill some of your beans, I just want to know who's activating your almonds. Let me live my comm dreams through you. I have a challenge for you: describe the most annoying bitch/bitches in your comm.

Pixielocks is going to London UK gulls, are you excited?

>>10009828
Our one just got permabanned so life is good

>>10009831
ew no

>>10009831
can't wait for her to go to irregular choice, eat at sketch/some other pink themed place and then leave.

>>10009831
most of us in the comm seem to hate her

>>10009840
i hope she goes to sketch and gets put in the classic room

>>10009840
Don't forget Lazy Oaf, anon!

>>10009841
There's always the kawiwi egg loos

>>10009828
Incredibly loud, incredibly fat, wears OTT sweet (but only Bodyline or ageplay AP with frumpy normie cardigans to hide the open zippers) all the time despite the fact it doesn't suit her and went out of style ages ago, buys followers on instagram, generally a source of most embarrassing behavior at meets.

>>10009822
It's strangely fitting.

>>10009831
I hope she has a meet so i can see all the ita messes.

>>10009831
I couldn't care less desu

>>10009878
I can only assume she won't be organising anything with the comm since she's pretty far from removed from lolita now, but maybe the fairy kei/jfashion people in london will do something.

>>10009885
Jilly bean is a celebrity so no meet up I guess

>>10009904
...Minori literally had a nice chill tea party with London comm before going to fashion week and she's more of an international figure than fucking Pixielocks. What does she think a meetup is, like basically a mini convention?

>>10009904
Hey Jill, you're not that famous, that's some BS. Host it at trafalgar or something - no one's going to knife you since you're not famous enough and trafalgar is crowded enough that you wouldn't be in any physical danger anyway. You don't need a third party, just say you don't have time. Please don't come to HJ, I don't want to see you, also HJ is in a week, so if you're going to do months of planning, you dun goof'd.

>>10009904
Kek she's trying so hard to play it as if she is soooo busy and famous.
Who is she anyway? She's so tacky looking how did this thing become and ambassador?

>>10009904
Lol, there's gamer youtubers with rowdier and much larger fanbases than Pixie's who organize their own meets in podunk-ass places and it goes just fine. Why can't you just say you want to enjoy your very short trip on your own with your senpai/friends/whoever you're with? No need to justify it with some lame bullshit like "safety reasons" and "being too lazy to have the forethought to organize it myself".

>>10009934
Senpai should say family. Forgot about that filter.

>>10009767
>tfw someone made a degenerative iteration of your homemade meme

Life's good

>>10009904
Jesus. Who the fuck is this bitch?

>>10009944
Exactly

>>10009828
She wears unnatural, bright cosplay wigs for all of her coords, conplains about health problems (too much information), complains about her money problems (and does not try to get a job or education because she got anxiety), and when you try to be nice to her for once she rejects all help, does not accept any possible solutions (like she already has decided there are no solutions for her problems) and she is rude to everyone.

>>10009904
Why cant she just plan a small place to meet and greet ppl ?

Or is that what shes doing sorry im so out of the loop on what this small child is doing now a days that I didnt even know she was going to london.

>>10009828
Lol almost all of them are? A lot of them dress well but a lot of bitches in my comm have a highlander complex, don’t pitch in for carpool, and act like you need to beg them for attention. I literally haven’t been going to many meets nowadays because of this despite being a mod.

>>10009831
So what’s her deal? Didn’t she had a BF she did videos with and now she’s gay?

>>10009962
I thought she was going to a fashion school or some fuck shit like that ? She stopped all of a sudden because of youtube? And isnt she bringing in money from youtube and sells from those shirts and pins she makes. WTF is she complaining about money for

>>10009904
To be fair, we don't know what's going on behind the scenes. It wouldn't surprise me if she's dealing with stalkers or gotten legit death threats as a chick with 200k+ subscribers.

>>10009904
The delusion in this hilarious. I'm sure no more than 20 people would show up if she had a meet in a park or something. But I wouldn't want to hang out with her fans either so i don't blame her.

>>10009828
ageplayer

My comm hasn't planned anything for Halloween but I'm trying to plan a coord out anyway, just in case. I can't decide whether to wear gothic because it's more appropriate for Halloween or do a super sweet rendition of a character coord since I usually wear gothic so this would be more of a "costume" for me.

Pixielocks isn't even a lolita anymore so why is it shitting up this thread

Is anyone else going to the Halloween tea party at "au boudoir d'alice"

>>10010611
I can't go but I want to go so badly! I have so many questions to ask the owners... Will they have an online store soon? Is it true they're going to carry Millefleurs and IW?

>>10010611
>goro lolita
but guro is the best substyle

>>10010627
they actually opened an online store on their facebook page

>>10010611
>no guro
It's shit

>>10009828
My most annoying bitch is a lot like >>10009962’s minus the colorful wigs, but with horrible “drag” makeup. She’s in her late 30s or early 40s but acts like a whiny 14 year old and almost exclusively wears shitty Taobao meme print dresses that are way too short on her so you can almost see her underwear when she bends over. She rarely wears bloomers and if she does, they look like weird satin diapers. I’ve literally had nightmares where she’s the only one who showed up to a meet-up I’m hosting and we run into my coworkers. Fucking mortifying. She’s always complaining about bullying and how elitist lolitas are (“have you considered trimming your wig’s bangs?” = elitist bullying) yet won’t fuck off.

>>10010065
I don’t think they’re talking about PL.

I want to complain about the bitch in my comm but she's in with the mods and they'll probably kick out anyone who makes a stink about what she does to people.

>>10010628
>>10010640
it's their first tea party they probably just want it to go smotly and not have some autist complain about "muh triggers" when they see guro lolitas

>>10010699
Has that ever happened?

>>10010611
>Goro Lolita

>>10010611
>no goro lolita
he's so kawaii though

>>10010703
No idea but i understand wanting to take precautions for your very first tea party

>>10010699
Maybe they don't want to get fake blood on their things.

>>10010666
does she do burlesque or stripping

>>10010728
oh yeah especially since the tea party takes place in their store

>>10010728
I didn't think of this. Makes perfect sense

>>10010611
>no Goro lolita
>Goro ouji a-ok!

I blinked and missed it, anyone know why Seattle now has two comms? One seems completely dead now too...

>>10010708
ftfy

>>10010696
Maybe try and sort it out like an adult?

>>10009828
This one girl in my comm cannot stop talking about herself. Every small meet that she attends, 90% of the table conversation ends up being her telling us all about herself. She says she’s in her late 20’s but she looks like she’s about 40, not sure if it’s because she’s fat and needs to drink more water or just bad genetics. Once she wore a high waisted JSK with back shirring but she’s so fat that the cinched waist part sat in the middle of her boobs, mashing them down like pancakes. She loves to talk about how she’s poly and how SOOOOOOOO GAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY she is and how girls flirt with her and she goes on dates all the time. In fact, she’s soooooooo gaaaaaaaayyyyy that men are, like, eww gross (except she’s married to a cis man. I think he might be disabled due to an illness or something?)

>>10010745
It happened around the time of Sakuracon but don't totally remember why.

>>10010941
It's ok, this is a natural occurrence. The more mass an object has the more things gravitate towards it naturally. Her excess size simply gives her an immodest handicap towards her social presence.

>>10010065
Nope this one is in her early 30s, mostly too anxious to go out of her house so yeah, she couldn't do youtube videos because of her anxiety.

>>10010731
Not that I know of, though it would be right up her alley. However she constantly overshares about everything so if she did do one of those things I’m sure I’d have heard about it many times by now.

>>10010751
Maybe. But people have tried and guess what, they get kicked out. She's a bully who tells the mods a different story and because she's been friends with them for yonks, she wins.

Someone stole 5 Baby dresses from a HarajukuCloset booth German Con
I wonder if a lolita did it

>>10011191
these won't fetch much second hand, the thief will be disappointed.

>>10011199
Given the consistent colorway (pink and ivory) i'm enclined to think they were stolen for personal use more than for profit

>>10011191
How are they going to track this down? They're just going to end up getting some poor girl in trouble over selling a dress that's the same one that happened to be stolen.

>>10011191
I’m now picturing someone stuffing five dresses under her petti and nonchalantly waddling away. How do you just walk off with five poofy dresses without anyone noticing?

>>10011191
How is that even possible, 5 dresses take up a lot of space. Watch your damn booth and don't let people try things on both because of theft and also damage

>>10011191
They actually stole them from the physical shop not a con booth.

>>10011218
if the tags have specific numbers for each dress (not series) they could use that

>>10011229
The dresses are rather old, so it would be rare to spot them in a new condition. Also the German market isn’t that huge and not many Lolita’s in German own one of these dresses.

>>10011210
That was stupid. Whoever stole will never be able to post pics online. What was even the point?

>>10011150
Sounds a lot like a bitch in my comm too.

>>10011237
Not everyone wears lolita to post it online? Believe it or not some of us wear it quite often without needing to do that and we survive just fine.

>>10011191
>Hello police? Someone stole from my shop
>Hello, please describe the item that is missing.
>It's The Secret Love Hidden Inside my Heart~ in pink
Imagine that.

>>10011294
RETURN THE DRESSES YOU THIEVING BITCH

>>10011237
That's such a weird attitude to have. Would you post pics of every normie outfit you wear too?

>>10011467
It's the archetypal conlita mindset, nothing has meaning unless validated by some group. It's kind of interesting in a way. The lolitocracy.

>>10010751
>this only works if all the parties involved behave like adults. You know as well as I do how rare that is.

>>10011381
Kek...can you imagine if it were Cherish my Juicy Cherry?

Y'all are so fucking mean lol, reading your posts is genuinely painful

>>10011656
then leave, unless you're masochistic

>check local sales
>this pops up

>>10011665
>seller is asking €100+

>>10011665
Name and shame anon

>>10011667
Ngl I burst out laughing at this one. Pretty sure the AP dresses she listed are replicas too. Maybe our local replica-chan who keeps starting arguments on RC would be interested, or is €50 too expensive for her?

>>10011667
Oh wow. Couldn't get any worse, they should have just left off the embroidery altogether

What was the "black lolita retreat"? There were a few recent posts on COF referencing that referenced it.

What was the "black lolita retreat"? There were a few recent posts on COF that referenced it.

>>10011846

It was an event in NY. Both of the NY mods planned meets at the same time. The HP meet was planned about 8 months in advance though. Idk.

>find a local girl who wants my old bodyline
>hope to god she isn't a cringey weirdo when we meet up irl

>>10011218
They're probably looking for someone with multiple missing dresses who can't explain where they got them.

>>10011220
>How do you just walk off with five poofy dresses
Just a small heads-up they aren't poofy unless worn with a petticoat. I doubt they had petticoats beneath them when being stolen.

Anyways, to answer your question without jokes. I would assume they are stolen the same way as most people steal clothes. By fitting them and wearing them underneath their own clothes, or by grabbing them and when you think no one looks run out of the store so that when they notice it they're already too late to stop you. If I understand correctly they wheres stolen in-store, not at a booth at a con anyways. Maybe if it was during the con they timed it like that so the store had low staff to look out (thanks to some being at the con)?

>>10011846
I just can't understand why. They scream black lolita's are equally good in lolita and racism should stop, then make a black people only event. Imagine the exact same thing with white people instead of black and people would loose their mind. Or say Asian only and they probably complain about Asians being xenophobes again.

What's wrong with allowing people of any race? How are you gonna fight racism by only allowing people of one race to come? Isn't that the exact behaviour you're trying to fight? Is it more of this "you can't act racist to black people because some other white people not you oppressed us for our skin colour, and now you have to bear the consequences and say sorry too because they don't oppress you even tho you have nothing to do with first white person that did do bad stuff to me and haven't done anything wrong to me. Because all races should be treated equal and people are individuals, unless you're a majority group then fuck you for not being minority" kind of thing?

>>10011987
>"you can't act racist to black people
Read can't as you are not allowed to, not as this is not possible.

Because these kind of people only seem to think it's not possible to be racist to people who are majorities where they live.

>>10011987
The idea is that 90% of society is for white people, by white people, and says "fuck you FOR being a minority." God forbid they have one event for themselves that you aren't invited to. What the fuck does it matter to you? Go to any other predominantly-white event, and just let them have something for themselves.
>inb4 accusing me of being black and racist against white people
I am a white woman who just doesn't get why other white people are so bothered that they can't occupy ALL SPACE ALL THE TIME.

>>10012010
>I am a white woman
Well good on you for cucking out your own race, you're the reason why white guilt is a fucking meme.

>>10012014
same anon, not feeling very guilty but confirmed marrying a POC, would love if i can contribute to breeding out people like you, yes! sage for this is not even worth a discussion

>>10011987
Their mentality seems to be "let's combat racism, which is virtually non-existent in our community, by being racist and creating a "x-race" only event to celebrate ourselves while parading about the event online because ""empowerment"" and""representation"" and nobody will be able to question it because we can accuse them of being racist for feeling excluded :)"

Imo the NYC comm should have shut that garbage down, assuming it was a public event hosted through the comm page(s). But ofc the mods would have been mobbed for daring to discourage poc from creating racially exclusive events.

>>10011987
a black lolita event is more about respect and appreciation about their own identity. your post completely discounts their event. leave them be. they want to have a good time.

>>10012014
NYART but wow, way to read what she was saying and just jumping on the memes and outrage. You're as bad as the people you're bitching about.

>>10012021
Okay I may agree with your earlier comment but this response is lame.

>>10012027
An NYC mod created the event in the first place.

>>10012028
This. Idk I'm not even black but I think it would be cool to see a large group pic of black lolitas. Plus they get to share a lot about things the general community doesn't discuss much like dressing for your skintone, styling your hair for lolita if you have 4c curls, etc. There's a lot of white lolitas who can get advice each other very easily. I'm Hispanic, my comm is hispanic and we can help each other with things like introducing lolita to Catholic Family and how to deal with the weather where we are. Surely it's not hard to see why black lolitas could enjoy meeting up together and getting more specific tips from each other.

>>10011987
Reminds me of the time I went to a meeting for a group called "Awareness of Black Artists" or something similar. They screamed at me and turned me away at the door. I'm not even white. As in, visibly not white. Sometimes it does feel like single cultures celebrating themselves are perhaps not doing it in the most constructive way possible. I genuinely think they just get caught up in the exclusivity of the event and don't mean anything deeper by it.

>>10012027
>racism is non-existent in the lolita community
do you even go here?

>>10011846
gives me the idea of having a 'Menorah and Frills' when Hanukkah rolls around. spend the night learning about Jewish faith and eating latkes.

>>10012094
Honestly I'd love to go to something like that

>>10012054
Sorry we arent all stuck in the early 1900s?

>>10012054
>implying the community, which is predominantly populated by sjw's and minorities, is somehow racist

Sure, the general normie community still has racists within it, but can you provide instances of significant racism within our community (with proof, anecdotal "evidence" isn't legitimate), we've absolutely seen the odd racist here and there, naturally cute being one of them, but that's not by any means common. If anything I'd argue that racism toward non-poc is the only significant racism our community is facing right now.

>>10011987
You strike me as an "all lives matter" person.

>>10012010
>>10012027
>>10012028

The problem isn't the event, but they created a whole comm much like the secret Chinese comm. And it was started by one of the original NY mods to begin with as one anon said. What about a POC comm that includes the other minorities? Or just have a regular comm? Or friend groups?

>>10012128
t. someone who isn't even in the ny comm

>>10012010
We get it, you have white guilt.

>>10012133

I actually am. A and Y planned meets on the exact same day at the same time. Weird, but meh.

>>10012094
Sounds like a good time

>>10012094
And I bet the Jewish lolitas would be a lot more welcoming than the black lolitas

>>10012094
Oooh and make cute sufganiyot and kugel, maybe chopped liver finger sandwiches or mini bagels and lox... dang I really want to do something like this now!

>>10010941
Are you in UK comm?

>>10009904
Why do people feel entitled to her time? It's her vacation, I don't give a damn if she spends it in her hotel room eating her toenails and worshipping Satan

>>10012215
There are lots of UK comms, which one do you mean?

>>10012222
Only know one person in UK who always talks how poly she is and she is very annoying one

>>10012108
This. There are exceptions ofcourse. But most of the "racist" stories about black lolitas where obviously fake, or people not getting put on a pedastal and blaming racism before anything else.

Also, complaining about too little representation when the amount of black lolitas is simply smaller than white or Asian ones is kinda dumb imho. Very few people filter black lolitas out. They simply exist less so they'll be seen less.

chad memes have gone too far

>>10012128
Maybe the NY comm should just officially become segregated. The Chinese are already segregated, now the black girls, might as well go all the way .

>>10009828
There’s an an age player in mine that the mods seem completely oblivious about. They’ve made it completely public on their Facebook profile (that they use to associate with lolita) so it’s not exactly a secret if you were to spend 2 seconds vetting. I’m not sure how the mods would react to being warned about this person so I’ve just been making a note to not attend any meet they go to

Luckily in my area we have two comms, one that includes other jfashions and one that’s just lolita and they’re not in the one for strictly lolita, so at least I can avoid them there

>>10012027
>>10012128
The NYC comm had nothing to do with it, it was organized in the Facebook group, and the black lolita group on Facebook isn’t a secret lol

And technically you can join even if you aren’t black, it’s not like forbidden or anything

It’s really common to have Facebook groups for black people who are in predomainately white hobbies, I am in a couple. It’s just nice to talk to each other about stuff with someone you know can relate, about makeup and hair stuff specifically for us, etc

>>10011987
imagine still having an opinion this ignorant in 2018

>>10012103
This might actually be the stupidest thing anyone has ever said about lolitas

>>10012428
>>10012457

Pfft, the NYC comm has always been really splintered. I honestly didn't think you could go any further until now. Before it was just by boroughs, now it's by race apparently. Lol. What's next, by sexuality? It says Black Lolitas is exactly for what the title states. Or if you're dark skinned. But that's kinda ambiguous depending on how "dark" they're asking.

>>10012474
What part of

> the NYC comm had nothing to do with this

Did you not understand

>>10012475

The person who organized the event is a mod of main NYC lolitas comm and the BL comm and the event was in NY. She just kinda switched over to BL. Honestly only two of the four mods of the main comm are active these days.

>>10012477
Yea she is but as I just told you, the event was organized in a Facebook group for black lolitas from all over, not just NY, it was just held there bc that’s where she lived and she’s the one who put it together.

>>10012481

I saw. One of the girls came from WI. Kinda wish we had more POC events that included other minorities. Not sure how that would play out though.

>>10012457
>>10012475
>>10012481
I rescind what I said in another thread about the way this was organised being trashy. If it was organised in the group for black lolitas, then the event completely makes sense and there's nothing wrong with it. It's not that different to if lolitas in a gamer lolita group went to E3 together, or a handmade group had a sewing sleepover. It's within what the specialty group was for ace they're all sharing something they have in common that the rest of the community might not care about. The other anon who is being really defensive about the whole thing sounds like they have a chip on their shoulder and maybe some FOMO. I'm sure they have their reasons for being a bit of a reactive bellend, but I don't think they're really worth paying attention to if they're going to sperg about the NYC comm. I hope the black lolitas have a nice time and take some cool pics.

>>10012484
Not all POC groups face the same challenges in the fashion, so it would be hard to focus the event, but it sounds like it could be a good time. Theme it around it "minorities in lolita fashion", let several people do like 5 minute presentations on a related topic of their choosing for an hour or so. Have a coord contest based around dressing in a way that highlights your culture without being ita. Highlight indie brands run by minorities. Have a tea party with foods from every continent, and have like some dancers or musicians from different cultures. Any lolita of any race is encouraged to attend, just the event itself highlights the contributions and experiences of POC within the fashion. Have a photographer who knows how to take good pics of POC, because this can be surprisingly hard if you're dark skinned. I'd go to that event.

We can be a little nitpicky and gossipy at times but I genuinely love my comm. I feel like everyone makes an effort and I'm very grateful for the friends I've made. I would have quit a long time ago if it wasn't for them. I know lolita is just clothes, but the community it brings with it is truly amazing.

>>10012494

That's a good idea, thank you anon! I never thought of it that way. It'd be cool to hear experiences from other minorities. Sorry if I got a little ranty earlier. Our comm(s) is really broken as it is and it might be due to past drama we've had from within the main comm. It'd be nice to see us get along even for a little while. Maybe learn a thing or two about each other? I can hope anyway lol.

>>10012490
Funny you mention the gaming thing, there was a recent controversy where men got super fucking angry because there was a "women's only" panel for League of Legends and they just kept spouting the same bullshit "segregating us isn't going to stop the problem!!" "this is SEXISM!!!" just refusing to accept that other people have to deal with bullshit and that they want to discuss the problems with others who truly understand.

Let people have their own spaces, women get harassed by men in video games, black lolitas probably get get harassed by randoms on the street, not necessarily from people in the community. I can't imagine being this buttblasted over something that doesn't hurt you at all. It's like getting angry that the local AA meeting/single father's social group/seniors hiking club won't let you in.

>>10012499
That event was ran by men though

>>10012500
I don't see the difference in who ran the event. The idea was good, the panel happened, and would be something I would have gone to.

>>10012465
Sorry tumblr-chan, but we dont hate black people. It's all in your head, I promise <3

>>10012484
>>10012494
You realize POC (as an American term) includes Asians too, right? Asians are already the majority in lolita, unless you're grouping them in with white people for some reason?

>>10012463
>racism is bad and hurts people. We shouldn't judge on race.
>you can only come if you're black. No other races allowed.
Sorry this sounds a bit double standards to some? I understand wanting to talk to and meet people you can relate to, but even when these things are race related, I simply think there are better, less hypocritical ways to do so? It kinda feels like they're trying to fight racism with racism. Which seems very counter effective.

>>10012494
>Have a photographer who knows how to take good pics of POC, because this can be surprisingly hard if you're dark skinned.
Hmmm, I wonder why that is

>>10012455
My comm used to have a sissy and an agp who both had fetish-related pics publicly visible on their profile AND dressed like shit/didn’t even wear lolita, but whenever someone PMed the mods about them they’d be ignored or told to stop assuming the worst and be more open minded. Fortunately our one non-shitty mod eventually stepped in and got rid of them. I think the other mods just didn’t care about the safety and comfort of the comm because it’s not like they ever attended public meetups anyway, they only ever met up with their friends.

>>10012494
Would East Asians be invited to this?

>>10012589

I know that lol I'm Asian. I may not lump us in with white people, but I know a few people within my comm that do. Some think only blacks (and sometimes Hispanic) are POC. There are dark skinned Asians too. And heavens forbid if you're mixed race. Those people are shit outta luck. Hence why most girls here stick to their friend groups.

>>10012608

If it was me hosting this, I'd totally invite fellow East Asians. Don't see a lot of representation other than Chinese, Japanese, or Koreans. Everyone else deserves a chance to speak too. Totally open to the idea of a minority chat.

>>10012494
+700000

>>10012603
Lighting?

>>10009797
Maybe do Halloween stuff with friends even if they aren’t lolitas? Unless you don’t even any.

>>10010941
mmmm sounds like delicious SO comm salt

>>10012608
She literally said
>any lolita of any race is encouraged to attend

>>10012030
ntayrt but I would stand up for the person I love so their comment makes sense to me.

maybe that's why you don't get it.

>>10010745
>>10011064
Is the Seattle comm chill? Just moved here for school and want to meet up with some people, but I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with walking on these hills in heels

>>10012457
>Calling lolita a predominantly white hobby

Are you fucking kidding me? This is why the black only thing is so retarded to me. It's a fucking Japanese fashion that has exploded all over the world and there are probably more Chinese in it than white girls. Give it a fucking rest. You black girls aren't being discriminated against or anything. And white people have fuck all to do with it in this case.

>>10012722
Let it be anon,girls like that just need to pull the race card to draw attention to themselves. Probably because they have no redeeming features or qualities so they need attention in a way or another.
Racism is defintely present in real life and all but jfc now you're just going "muh oppreshun by whitey" for retarded reasons

>>10012712
Also wondering this. I’m moving there for work once I graduate, already looked at a few homes in the area. I’m terrified of being in another comm full of drama mongering 20 year olds so I’m hoping Seattle comm is chill.

>>10012712
>>10012734
I think it's fine but there are two comms. I think the Emerald City comm is more active these days. I don't live in Seattle so I mostly attend meetups when I'm in town for cons and I always have a good time. I know there was drama a couple years ago but honestly don't know why. It goes in one ear and out the other. I'm too old for that shit and I'm not here for it.

So let's recap this whole black thing.

>Be able we wear frivolous expensive fashion
>Be able to afford frivolous expensive fashion event in a city known for being expensive
>The frivolous expensive fashion has origin in a non white country and is worn all over the world predominantly by Asian and other non white people, although white people also dare to touch it.
>We need black meet because "muh oppression" and "so underprivileged"

>>10012754
Can you just let this go? It's been discussed to death, just let people have their own fun

>>10012770
You wouldn't be saying that to white only meets lol

>>10012777
You literally sound like a broken fucking record.

>>10012777
does someone need to hit you with a book? take your fake reverse racism bullshit elsewhere

Someone please kill this topic and tell us about fun Halloween stuff your comm is doing.

I’m kinda of wanting to see if I can get together a meet at my house where we pass out candy to Trick or Treaters and drink mead and eat pumpkin roll all night.

>>10012784
>mead
Hell yes girl, I'm gonna get me some of that too!

>>10012786
There’s a new meadery that opened in my town that I’m excited to try! If it’s any good and the space is cute then it might be worth a meetup, too. Either way picking up some for Halloween night feels like a good idea if I can get something together.

>>10012722
I obviously meant in America it is. Not sure why you are so butt blasted about this concept.

>>10012724
I didn’t say anything about being oppressed having anything to do with it.

>>10012784
Wish I was doing something this year, Im gonna sit on my perfect ass and eat out all the candy I bought on the couch.

>>10012784
we are having a private party at a bar! I'm excited, though this is the first time we will have a fair amount of S/Os there so hopefully everyone meshes well.

>>10012784
I'm going to the "au boudoir d'alice" halloween tea party. Is anyone else going? I'd love to meet some gulls

>>10012823
I'm going, but I'm not going to "out" myself. Best to keep it a secret. I'll be excited to know there is at least one other gull there though! Fun times.

>>10012815
u can buy me if u want, im pretty sweet

>>10012572
>we aren't all stuck in the early 1900s
>says someone about a fashion in part heavily predicated on late victorian fashion

ok

>>10012754
They hate you but you're dead on the money. People can do whatever they want, but that doesn't stop them from getting called out on hypocrisy.

>>10012616
Then make one.

>>10012825
haha don't worry I wont out you, i'll keep it a secret too. But like you said it's fun to know there's another gull in the crowd

>>10012784
My comm is having a Victorian spiritualist-themed spooky event at an old victorian-era inn and I think I'm going to go as a zombie maido in tartan I can't wait

>>10012806
Oh yeah, I forgot that Americans think they are the center of the world.

>>10012879
no offense but tartan and maid don't really sound like they work well.

>>10012919
Lmao

I fail to see what that has to do with what I said but okay, Susan, stay pressed about the this completely innocuous thing that doesn’t affect you in any way

>>10012094
We can all eat Sufganiyah, if it's for Chanukkah. Driedel for some prizes. Aw hell yeah, Im excited.

>>10012839
The way you dress doesnt have anything to do with your personality and opinions?

Cant tell if stupid or...

>>10012215
>>10012635
Actually I am on the east coast of the USA. It would be fun to get all of our self-centered “gaaaaaaaay” poly lolitas in the same room to see how they react to each other.

>>10013167
Sounds fun, can bisexuals be invited too please?

>>10012926
They do if you're Scottish

>>10013167
>It would be fun to get all of our self-centered “gaaaaaaaay” poly lolitas in the same room to see how they react to each other.

I'm closed poly while these girls are 100% mentally ill open poly. sorry to say, but it would probably just turn into an orgy, they really have no control.

open poly fuckers is why poly dating is a shitshow.

>>10013178
Wow. That's... A lot of anger you have there, buddy.

>>10012955
>typical American

>>10013171
Unless the Scottish comm is hosting an extremely similar meet, the tartan zombie maid is in Michigan lol.

Anyone have any more screen shots or details about Goose being banned from the Pittsburgh community? I felt like it was only briefly mentioned then forgotten.

>>10013430
There's a lolita thread on lolcows /snow/ board that talks about it in more detail.

Has a seller ever done something kind of scammy that they thought you wouldn't notice but you did? I want to hear your stories, because I just got fucked over and I'm really upset about it.

>dream dress listing on XianYu (right colourway, cut and size)
>Very rare to see this cut for sale!
>My SS gets the dress
>It's....the wrong cut
>seller 'isn't friendly' according to my SS (read: scamming bitch) and doesn't want them to return the dress or negotiate. She's adamant that it is the cut she says it is, even though it's obviously not. My SS even tried it on for me because they don't have a mannequin.

Fuck this bitch. Hope karma bites her in the ass now that I have a dress that is *almost* perfect. I'd return it if I could but I guess that's not happening.

New midwestern EGL community has been created on FB. I know there were a few Indiana lonelitas in this thread, we’d love you to join. Search Midwestern EGL Community

>>10009756
The virgin here is absolutely me in terms of how I dress. Only solid blacks when I'm wearing dresses and like on the rare occasion I'll wear red or pink for pajamas.

>>10013466
Thanks! I was searching there, but I think I'm blind as a bat but it's finally my comment was deleted here just for asking lol

>>10009831
I haven't kept up on her. Didn't she hate lolita and purge her whole closet, then tell us we're all meanies? What's the update? Why's she back?

>>10013659
She's not back. Of all possible things, she got invited to simcamp. She hasn't contacted the London lolita or jfashion comms at all.
>Probably thinks she's too good for us, hmph

>>10013386
How does living in Michigan make someone less Scottish?

>>10013742
Umm... Saying you're Scottish when someone questions your coord makes your coord makes even LESS sense in the context of a Victorian Lolita tea party in Michigan.

>>10009828
Wears shitty drag makeup and is generally an 'I'm better than you' bitch but everyone licks her ass cause she gets money from her parents to spend on brand and posts 'relatable' memes on Facebook

>>10011150
This happened to me too, 'acting like an adult' doesn't work if you're the only one doing it desu

>>10012734
I haven’t had issues with the comm. There seems to be two comms because the mods of the original weren’t really keeping up with it or planning events etc. so they made a new one. Mods are active and nice so far. Events are more common and I usually feel like I get my money’s worth. I remember showing up to a meet run by the old mods that was pretty lackluster, so this is an improvement.

>>10012712
i'd say it's pretty chill. emerald city lolitas is the more active group, so definitely join that one. i don't think i've seen a meet from the washington-seattle lolitas group in quite a long time
>>10012734
don't worry, the drama monger 20 year old left

>>10009756
The worst one in my comm is a shoplifter and militant vegan who is annoying af.

>>10013831
which comm? i've heard of a couple of militant vegans..

>>10009828
not particularly original since "most annoying bitch" seems to be fairly standard across comms, but:

can't decide between the rich girl who transparently got into lolita in order to become e-famous and never talks to anyone except people more e-famous than her to try to get in their instas, and the constantly broke girl who has a self-admitted shopping addiction and regularly can't make rent, yet is somehow always buying new lolita stuff.

no matter where you live, if you think either of these people might be you, stop being like you

>>10013830
>don't worry, the drama monger 20 year old left
do you know where they went?

I'm worried someone just joined my comm

>Damn I just really love my comm.

Pretty much everyone is well dressed and well behaved, all pretty good friends but not exclusionary, drama is extremely rare. I lucked out.

>>10013872
SF

>>10013830

NAYRT, but this is useful to know.

>>10013882

Wait, what? Shit. Who came to SF? I need to know so I can protect myself.

>>10013901
this person im assuming

>>10013901
>>10013923
yep that's the one

I recently moved to Toronto. I've always been more of a lonelita, but I've been wanting to participate in the community more. Anyone know how the comm here is like?

>>10013923
ah classic dumbass veganism
i like how she thinks that faux leather doesn’t employ child labourers in bangladesh
like, we’re all fucked my dude
buy made in china, it’s made by a chinese kid working 60hrs a week for 50 cents a day
buy made in america and it’s made by dudes in prison with no prior charges working 60hr weeks for 50 cents a day
the only way to ensure “cruelty free” is if you make something ur damn self from start to finish or pay for someone who’s done the same

>>10013923
I like how she forgets that
>The producing of synthetic leather is very environmental unfriendly most of the time, saying it's always better is dumb. Sure ther are environmental friendly ways, but they aren't used often just like leather isn't always tanned in non-toxic ways.
>Synthetic leather still has child labour.
>There is also leather from animals that did life happily. In fact, that leather is higher quality just like healthy happy people tend to have nicer skin. Then there is also the leather from meat and milk cows, and next to that is roadkill leather also a thing, altrough I doubt that would be involved in these specific bags as it has a scarred appearance. If you care about the source, maybe inquire about it instead of commenting this shit on all their bag related posts. There are way too much sources to say all leather is bad.
>Real leather lasts way longer, which is not only nicer for the buyer, but also means less replacement is needed which means less has to be produced which means less need for doing the child labour and causing the environmental problems.
>Not all leather is from Bangladesh. This is kinda like "I found one place where they show it's bad, so now it all has to be bad". Sure, more places are bad. But there are also good ones and having one example acting like it's proof makes it look dumb.
>Cows aren't traumatised for life by seeing other cows die. Generally, cows run around a bit and then forget anything ever happened, much like they do after being steralised (where they literally hold the cow an the nose ring and pretty much smash the balls).
>Cows are generally killed before hand, because you can cut much nicer than on a moving cow in pain, which means more of the leather can be used.
>There exist a both toxic as non-toxic ways to tan leather. Again, inquire instead of assuming the worst unless you have any good reason to believe it's done one particular way. Then explain that reason.

mfw people say their coord is inspired by Claudia from the vampire chronicles but it's literally just any gothic shit thrown together with a blonde wig, I swear this happens all the time, she doesn't even wear black!

>>10014067
Sort of related, but it seems like vampires are a really popular theme this year. I’m glad the coords have not all been witch-dominated; those have been boring for a while.

>>10010738
Good catch lol

>>10013178
What are you on? I'm poly too, I don't make it known much unless someone asks me (all of once), and you sound super bitter more than anything. There's nothing wrong with someone being open about it if they don't make every conversation all about them.

fat man in my comm showed up to a meetup in this £19.99 ebay dress with nothing underneath, an ebay headbow, no bag or other accessories. I'd never seen anything more ita in my life, I was embarrassed to be in the same space as him in public and made all of the rest of us look dreadful by association

>>10014269
Ban him

>>10013974
don't join. bunch of catty bitches, fat vegans, and meitu shoopers.

pic related

>>10014034
This isn't even touching synthetic leather allergies that prevent some people from using fake leather...

But all of this.

>>10014034
Chances are the leather produced is not in the best conditions for the animal and the child worker. I would assume that the price point would be much more insane if they used humane slaughter processes and non-toxic tanning. Unless Moitie themselves made some sort of mention that the production is humane (I don’t follow them). Even then we truly don’t know for sure.

>inb4 assblasted vegan
I’m a vegetarian but I buy secondhand leather because all the synthetic leather I ever bought was absolute shit and I won’t make that mistake ever again.

>>10013855
AZ

>>10014372
That was months ago and they aren't even in the comm anymore, you drove them out just like you wanted to so badly. Just let it go for fucks sake.

>>10014370
Altrough I agree it's likely bad, humane produce leather shoes start around 200EUR. Bags I don't know as I don't have any currently, but I think they might be around the cheapest section of that.

Never the less, best to fact check yourself before you go post a spam message on literally each post motie makes about these bags. She didn't even do actual research on pros of cons it seems. Sound more like repeating so etching she heard others say.

>>10013974
Don't listen to the dramamongers, they're actually really nice

>>10014269
>Even worse. A 19.99 ebay replica dress
Poor And Romeo. I've seen the originals look good in a nice coord. But they can't take much before looking ita. Cheap replicas are bound to fail, yet they are made so much.

>>10014453
Oh absolutely. Even when I was vegan I never went out of my way to bitch about leather (I still wore it, but it was bought secondhand or a hand me down) and I most certainly wouldn’t dare bring it up to a brand post.

Hmm, 200€ isn’t that bad for ethically sourced leather shoes. Not that I would buy them personally. I’m thinking an ethically sourced leather bag would start around ~375-400€, that’s just a guess since I never owned a leather bag, let alone an ethically sourced one.

>>10014496
Where can I get loliable ethically sourced leather shoes though

>>10014316
nayrt but
>2 of the most consistently well-dressed lolitas in the hobby
ok

>>10014528
going to guess that you are one of the "2" who are supposedly consistently well-dressed? Because none of these girls and guy are consistently well-dressed. Sure, they have great outfits sometimes, but there are tons of well-dressed girls in the whole lolita community, some of which are way more well-dressed consistently than any of these girls and guy.

>>10014370
The vast majority of leather is a byproduct of the meat industry. I have never heard of a cow being killed for its skin but it wouldn't be financially sound. You would have to raise the animal for years and the amount you spent in resources would be less than what you made on leather. The people in the video that one person was referring to were probably killing a cow for Eid or perhaps they are just horrible sadistic people.

Even China buys a lot of raw leather hides from European meat markets (so much so that some tanneries in Italy are having trouble getting enough hides). Alligator leather is even more eco friendly than cow leather because every piece of the gator is used, down to the toenails and eyeballs. Nothing is wasted.

Don't buy leather products from Bangladesh or Pakistan. But don't buy other things from there either. Their working conditions are terrible.

There are many ways to tan leather and one particular bad and very toxic way that people love to talk about. Of the multiple types of chrome tanning, only that one is really bad, the rest are fine and are far more popular because they don't poison the tannery employees. It's also much easier to filter the water from a chrome tannery than from a chemical plant such as one that is making plastics for pleather products.

Even if every person on Earth became a vegetarian we would still have farmed animals for pet food. I've been a vegetarian for a long time and I know many vegetarians who work with leather. I even know one freegan, who picks up roadkill, tans it herself, and turns it into accessories. My stomach wouldn't be strong enough for that.

>>10014537
Mistyped, I meant
>the amount you spent in resources would be MORE than what you made on leather

Deer hides from New Zealand are another great example. These animals are free range, live happy lives with one bad day at the end. The meat is sold, the hides are sold overseas and used by many designers, and anything left over is turned into pet food.

grrreeeaatttt

our wonderful mod who couldn't organize the halloween meetup had to drop out of her own halloween meetup that she hastily created due to "unexpected circumstances"

>>10014531
Ntayrt but seriously? Not everyone disagreeing with you is the person in the pic. And yes, they are consistently well dressed. Get the salt out of your vag.

>>10014316
more like scaredy cats.

>>10014592
is this the same mod that made a halloween meet on the same day?

>>10013923

Oh my god. Pray for the soul of SF.

>>10014537
>Don't buy leather products from Bangladesh or Pakistan
This. If people are going to be dicks about leather, they better stop buying fast fashion too, all of it. Children regularly burn alive in those fucking factories, and if they aren't, they're forced to work sixteen hours a day, seven days a week. Usually vegans pretend to care about animals more than human kids though, and then ignore their darling PeTA killing more than 90% of the animals it "saves".

Anyone up for "smack an obnoxious vegan dressed in fast fashion in the face day"?

>>10014723
This post is much more obnoxious. Please post more about how sustainable you are from your Chinese factory made electronics.

>>10014592
Hey, shit happens ya know? At least she warned everybody, also found a co host and together they decided to postpone the meet. She had the decency to do the right thing, un like the other mod who cancels her own meets AND doesn’t announce it until after the meet when it’s too late. You sound so salty. You want a tea party? Get off your ass and host one.

>>10014496
Could be correct. I know New Rocks gets their leather from local farms where the animals are treated well. They even used to lists said farms on their website. Their bags are around 400-500EUR or so. Funny, a shoe is more work than a bag and the amount of leather needed won't change much. Wonder where the difference comes from.

I'm no vegan an I love myself some good leather and meat. But I also don't mind vegans in itself. I just mind people behaving bothersome to others because of their believes (no mater if they are pro or against vegan), especially when they don't have done any research or have only looked at stuff that supports their side. I'm actually open for neutral conversations, both sides (vegan and non vegan) have some good points to make. You seem pretty respectful. Kudos to you.

>>10014537
Still there is a difference between talking by product and ethically sourced. There are places where they treat their animals badly also produce meat. Those animals will deliver much lower quality leather, but it's much cheaper to abuse tons of cows than to give them a nice life. Part of the reason leather is cheaper from there.

>>10014537
Also, a lot of western fashion brands, including high fashion ones and fast fashion ones, are known to import leather from these places where animals are treated badly. For me it's mainly a care as I care about the quality I must admit. Most cheaper leather you buy here isn't great leather.

>>10014723
This.

>>10014726
The electronics industry is a shitty comparison. It's not like you can buy an ethically handmade processor from your neighbor. The tech sphere in general has serious problems, but they're not problems we can fix from the consumer end anymore.

>>10014592
Were you even going to go? There was only three people going, doesn't seem that big of a loss.

>>10014789
New Rocks are so based.

>>10014690
It's not going to be that bad. The comm is big enough that she'll probably find her people and stick to them and the rest of us will just keep doing our thing.

>>10013923
Did they really think that we didn't know that leather came from cows lol

>>10009828
One always comments how great replicas are and proudly buys the from aliexpress. Doesn't listen to anyone trying to explain why replicas are bad. She deserves her future work to be stolen as well.

Other one is mentally not that well. She means wel but it's hard and uncomfortable to interact with her and I feel relieved any time she's not going to a meet I do go to. Mods have a hard time quicking her out but I can't blame them too much as it's a complex issue (she doesn't actually do anything wrong but people just get really uncomfortable with her and there is no improvement. Wish she just went away to be honest, even when that's kinda mean).

>>10015400
Never underestimate how retarded militant vegans are.

>>10015503
Some people are just stupid. My (non-vegan) college-educated boss thought eggs were dead chickens.

I'm moving to Yorkshire next month can anybody tell me which comm is the best to join?
I know there's a lot of overlap with members but I've also heard about that the Leeds and Sheffield comms often scheduling meets on the same day which seems very frustrating

>>10009828
Recently discovered there are some in the closet hardcore SJWs hiding in my comm and that's been enough to put me off attending another meet and become a lonelita desu. Every comm meet I've been to is like a Tumblr get together, with words like mansplaining being thrown around and the constant use of veganism being brought up. I thought I would be able to tolerate it because usually these meets are nice to attend, but truthfully I'd rather do it alone in future. As time goes by the more I start to notice these things.

>>10016170
I'm so sorry your comm is like this. Sure, there are some people in my comm with such thoughts. But they keep it to their private FB pages (which I simply u follow or u friend) and if they talk about it on meets, its far enough for me not to hear it. I actually had some great conversations and I'm generally the opposite of SJW behaviour and stubborn as fuck in that.

But on the other side, good for you you got out. Commas can be nice, but if they're filled with shitty people lonelita is much better.

>>10012879
I bet your coordinate looked like trash

>>10016170
My comm recently became a trash pit full of gender rejects and people who can't form a sentence that doesn't circle back around to their disabilities. I bounced a few months back and only hang out with close friends in lolita now. These fringe communities attract all sorts, and once a hugbox starts, it only goes downhill. It's not long before you're the only neurotypical at the meets. I agree about how tumblr it gets. All of the mods of my local comm look and act like tumblr blogs come to life.
Become a lonelita with us, anon. It's pretty great.

>>10016170
>closet hardcore SJWs hiding
I'm curious as to what you mean by this. If a SJW is hardcore they're usually pretty vocal.

If people are using terms like mansplaining; then I highly doubt these people are hiding how they feel.

>>10016170
>>10016983

>antiSJW literally too offended at topics of conversation to change the topic or attend meets

I mean you do you, it's just the irony of using the label of people who boast about not being offended by things is delicious

>>10016983
>It's not long before you're the only neurotypical at the meets.
You gave yourself this label but you're upset about SJW's doing the same thing for themselves?

>>10017056
>>10017063
Maybe you took a wrong turn at thingstomakepeoplethinkimclever dot tungler dot com? I don't think this is the right forum for you.

There is giving yourself labels and expecting basic respect, and then there's completely alienating everyone at the table by either frowning or complaining at everything you don't think fits with your ideal of how the world works. I want to be respected, so, I respect others. Basic math there. I would also like to join in on a conversation with my fellow frill lovers without having to discuss gender politics and disability for once in my goddamn life.

Once your offence stalls a nice, neutral topic of conversation, it becomes offending. I'm not offended by sjws, I'm offended by their utter lack of casual social skills.

>>10017068
you realize you can frown right back? pavlov those fuckers whenever they bring up something you don't give a shit about

>>10016983
>>10016170
Lmfao I'm not even remotely SJW but its hilarious that you've become so ~TRIGGEREDDDD~ by these people have different views than you. Damn just change the subject then, just focus on your tea, just befriend people with similar views to yours. Its not hard to get along in a group where you and other are radically different.

>>10016983
I once got stuck at a tea party sitting between people just talking about their meds and mental illnesses non stop. It definitely gets tiring. I have my problems too but I'm not going to air them out for attention like that, especially since no one gives a fuck.

My comm has a bunch of closet SJWs but thankfully it only comes out on their private FB posts and almost never at meets or the comm page.

I also heard talks about some comm wanting to do an LGBT meet. I can't even imagine how that will go. It will definitely be a mix between people who just want a qt lolita gf and annoying gender snowflakes.

>>10016170
I doubt you’re in my comm but if you are please do in fact leave thanks

>>10011467
If you don't post it to closet of frills, did you even wear lolita?

>>10012606
>ignored or told to stop assuming the worst and be more open minded

this is what im concerned will happen if i speak up, so I'm not really sure what to do at this point, it sucks that the idea of warning the comm about a fetishist is considered a gamble these days

>>10017068
not sure why you replied to me this way. I was merely asking a question but you've lumped me in with someone and made up a point for me to have. I don't have this outlook you're talking about. But you're insisting I do apparently.

>I want to be respected, so, I respect others. Basic math there.
What even. That is a terrible metaphor. Anyway, I used to think that way until I entered the real world where that shit doesn't really work. Just because you believe in that and "respect" others doesn't mean they're gonna respect you, or share you belief for that matter. Not to mention, what if the other person doesn't see "respect" the same way you do?

I'm sorry your comm was disappointing but it sounds like you need to connect with other people.

I get you though in that last part. I don't say things at meets sometimes because I know people won't like it. But then people see me as a nice person, so I'll just wait to say whatever it was to my boyfriend who will find it amusing.

>>10017119
>I once got stuck
This is where you are entirely wrong.

You are a human with free will. You can get up and go whenever you feel like. It's a tea party. No one is gonna hold a gun to your head if you get up to go somewhere else.

>>10017316
I think you're under the delusion that you're more important than you are. You weren't clear in the post that anon replied to earlier. I've been following along and you did sound like a bitch in your first post, so, the reply you got is justified.

>>10017320
Oof, someone doesn't understand social cues and small meet dynamics.

>>10017326
This exactly. No one's forcing you to sit with them but if someone changes topic and you immediately get up and leave/frown/get visibly angry then c'mon, you're bound to get ostracized.

But if you don't like those people anyways, why do you care?

>>10017326
People won't ever learn what's appropriate group conversation if they're allowed to keep ploughing through.

>>10013974
Unfortunately no one really creates meets for the comm anymore and most girls just meet privately with their own friend groups. Overall it’s a nice comm but not as good as it used to be - I still enjoy going to meets though (when there are any) and everyone is very friendly.

>>10017327
Why would we care? Because sometimes our friends or the people we look up to are present. Can you imagine being at one end of the table and having a girl you thought was nice at the other end just up and relocate for no good reason? It would be weird and you might think she's awfully rude.
Also, what happens when all the chairs are full?

>>10017327
>>10017326
Just say you're going to the ladies.

Why do you guys always think of things in extremes. No one will ever fucking question you for going to the bathroom.

you guys are being outlandish because a topic is upsetting.

>>10017325
>you did sound like a bitch in your first post
and what was my first post, anon?

Don't be a scaredy cat and dodge the question. Since you know all of which posts are mine even though I never posted with a trip.

>>10017349
>not sure why you replied to me this way
you claimed ownership.

>>10017316
Respecting someone’s belief =/= sharing same belief

>>10017366
If someone doesn't respect your belief then it doesn't matter if they don't share it. They already don't respect you.

>>10017362
Sorry if I wasn't clear, could you link my first post? Or do you not know how to answer the question?

>>10017368
Are you new? You can click replies on posts themselves to chain back through them.

Since you need to spoonfed though,
your first post:
>>10017063

your second post, referencing yourself in the first post:
>>10017316

your third post, being completely obstinate:
>>10017349

Hope this helps!

>>10017399
I know which posts are mine, but you claiming to know which anon is which is what I doubted. There is no spoonfeeding here. I've been in this thread since the beginning. That wasn't my first post.

>>10017316
Lol wow. Respect others as you'd like to be respected is the most basic golden rule that pretty much every major religion and general decent human being lives by. Of course it doesn't always work in the real world or mean everyone sharing your beliefs, the point is to do so despite those things. I don't know who hurt you, but on their behalf I'm sorry.

>>10017439
Wow, hope you wore your comfy teaparties to move those goalposts.

On a semi-related note, I cannot stand folks who set up golden rules for lolita but disregard them for themselves. They tend to be the ones to spout all the 'expert info' but they look like shit.

>>10017348
nayrt but this isn’t a helpful solution at all. You still have to come back and sit with them, and if >>10017329 is the goal, and they’re already too oblivious to realize through normal social cues that their topic is unwanted, faking going to the bathroom isn’t going to help either.

On the other side, idk why anons who don’t like a topic can’t just say “can we talk about something else?” and leave it at that. Grow some spines.

>>10017581
Have you ever tried to change a difficult topic with someone who thinks you can't be socially conscious without being constantly involved in social politics? I tried once. I said "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about this. Can we talk about something else? How about your dress? Where did you get it?"
All of a sudden, I'm a heretic. How could I dismiss a marginalised person like that? Two of them scoffed and turned away, continuing the conversation without me. The other few looked super uncomfortable and checked their phones for a bit until the conversation eventually came back around to how awful cgl is. I do not recommend trying what I did.

>>10017595
I mean, I’m with those girls on that subject so you’re not getting much sympathy here. Sounds like you’ve been given the social cue that your views aren’t welcome in that group of people.

>>10017604
Maybe those girls are the ones missing social cues that no one gives a shit about their "oppression" at an expensive fashion meetup in a most likely first world country.

>create a puppet account
>try to troll a comm
>got caught
>send "friend" to cover my ass
>she end out off the group
Oh boi

>>10017624
>and yet the whole comm either scoffed and turned away or acted embarrassed for her
ok lol

>>10017630
Well what did you expect?

>>10017581
>You still have to come back and sit with them
yes and by the time you get back, the conversation might be different.

The thing is, it sounds like the topic is only unwanted by YOU. So why even go to meets if you don't like being around these people? Can you not check to see who's going through FB first?

Any good friendsgiving meets planned?

>>10017636
>whole comm
It was six people including the two young self proclaimed 'social pariahs'
The others were around my age and were also equally uncomfortable with the topic- they weren't even contributing past general niceties. Since the conversation was being controlled by those two, I spoke up. They completely steamrolled me and it was awkward.

Any suggestions on how to get a secondary comm to cease petty attempts at pissing contests?

>>10017888
I think we're going to need more info. What kinds of things are they doing?

>>10017888
let it go desu
you don't need to get involved, they're not doing anything to harm you.

>>10017888
Kansas?

>>10017888
Get your own friends.

>>10018433
How is that even relevant? Being friends is irrelevant.
>>10018107
No, more up north. Kansas is much bigger of a drama cesspool from what I gather. Some wild crap always seems to be going on there
>>10017994
It’s harmful to the efforts made by people taking the time to plan meets and to the members who have to feel like they have to choose. Part of being community leaders is (or at least should be) about putting aside petty, interpersonal crap and respect boundaries. Meets are for members to enjoy not be about who mods better. So fuck off, Elsa.
>>10017960
Had about 7 or more conflicting meets, stolen group descriptions with minor alterations, making mutual members ‘pick sides’, alot of crap like that essentially just because 2 of the mods hate eachother. I’m not a mod in either group but I see what’s going on and it’s becoming a real pain in the ass. I hate getting put in the middle of it because I like going to both comm’s meets but I’m not the only one anymore noticing it. Yes The main community mods get easily upset and push back and the secondary community wants to act like they are the only existing one.

>>10018551
Sorry for being sassy friend. That is a real problem. Can you talk to them about how you're all supposed to be on the same team, lolita, and the intercomm drama makes it feel like it's more about their egos than the fashion. Or is that too blunt?

>>10017320
Isn't that the point in them becoming a lonelita? They decided that they don't want to be part of a comm that only wants to talk SJW shit so they leave.

>>10017595
This. I don't understand why so many anons are replying to you so negative. What's wrong with deciding to be a lonelita because the comm sucks? We all know how horrible SJW can be. You can't change idiots to be less idiotic. So what's the same in leaving and saying the comm sucks? Since when do we stand up and say "you just need to change subject" when it comes to SJW who will just find a way to return the subject within 3 sentences or get super offended you dared to change the subject?

>>10018551
Yeah woah, that's a huge bummer. How childish of the secondary mods to ruin everyobe else's meets just because they can't suck it up and gat along with the main comm's. Unfortunately they're not really doing anything inherently wrong, they have the tight to make a Facebook groups and host events just like anyone else. Only thing that can really be done is calling them out on their most embarrassing behaviour.

>>10018733
I don't care about sjw shit but i'm a lonelita. Mostly because even non sjw lolitas are cringe as fuck.

I’m a lonelita not by choice, everyone moved on from lolita other than the itas and while I do miss meets I don’t miss people complaining about their mental health or weird shit in general, mostly itas just talking on and on about random shit

>>10018627
It’s fine, sorry for responding in an angry manner. I wish it were possible to put everything aside but I don’t think either side will budge. One side feels like they can’t forgive and forget and the other is obsessed with preserving their egos.
>>10018798
Yeah, that is definitely true. I just find it very childish and unprofessional especially considering these are all grown women working in professional fields but they can’t seem to transfer that same behavior into running communities. I wish everyone could just be friends again or at least cordial to eachother without anyone making callouts. I feel like if it gets called out it’ll turn into even more of a dramafest because the secondary community will just double down on making more bullshit.

Thank you anons for the advice though. I appreciate someone just willing to listen without it being biased.

>>10010750
saved

>>10011987
the comm hasn't been segregated, it's literally one event.
would you really want to go to an event that was created for the sharing of experiences that you know nothing about, having lived life as a non-black person?
>imagine being this entitled
would you barge into a fun event organized for the socializing of new mothers? lesbians? goths? plus-sized lolitas?
the answer is no. no one wants to spend the entire time explaining things to you that you don't resemble/understand/have experience with when they just want to have a good time with others that share a particular and rare combination of identity&hobby.

I would have loved to go if I knew about it and I hope there is another, larger one planned in the future. you didn't miss anything because you wouldn't have gained anything. you'd have seen this as a positive and lovely idea for gathering if you really cared about race relations as a whole, instead of proving that you're a paranoid defensive ball of hot air.

>>10018843
Can you convince can't forgive and forget to tap into their inner self-righteousness and be the bigger people? If it's bothering you this much, it's got to be bothering other people and hurting the comm as a whole. I don't know if there's anything you can do about ego.

>>10013779
>>10013161
I miss when people were heavily shamed for being this obtuse and (likely) underage...

>>10018803
That's all nice and dandy, but they where talking about anon becoming lonelita because of such people in her comm and other anons got all mad that it was their fault for not changing those SJW peoples mind.

Personally I like my comm in general. There are a few cringey people but that's a small enough group I can easily avoid them. But I guess you had less luck. Doesn't matter on this subject tho. The point is that those people where not exactly going to change and people get all mad at her for not making things work with a bunch of SJW.

>>10019026
anon you replied to from >>10017320
I was in agreement that she should leave her comm. Not sure why people misread or thought I was for the other side?

Like I said... no one is forcing her to be there. I don't get why so many people continue to go to meets if they keep having bad experiences?

>>10019112
Different anon but my first three meets sucked because I didn’t know anyone and kept getting stuck at the newbie/reject table, since I wasn’t assertive enough to sit down anywhere else uninvited in the seating chaos. Three high teas surrounded by people nonstop whining about not being able to afford brand, about the comm being elitist, whining to the staff about the food, about how everyone who doesn’t agree with their political stance is literally hitler, etc. Fortunately I was able to talk to a few other people after each meet before we all headed home and made some friends that way, so now I get invited to sit with them without having to elbow anyone else out of a seat. I’m glad I didn’t give up after the first few times but damn those first meets sucked. At least now I know who to avoid.

>>10019489
if your comm has a reject table, then they are elitist.


You sound like an elitist yourself. This commentary reads like something out of a teen romcom.

>>10019489
smdh, sounds like the lolita Discord IRL

>>10019805

>>10019725
>wanting to hang out with friends and people you get along with
>obviously a meenie elitist booli uwu

Lolita comms are not kindergarten classrooms. You don't have to hang out with people you don't like.

>>10019725
No, but I know what anon means. The well dressed girls tend to sit together and the socially awkward it’s cluster with their kin. It’s like a self-segregated reject table. If you’re too intimidated to sit with the better dressed Lolita’s you tend to gravitate towards the rejects because you know they won’t reject you.

That said, I never got stuck at the reject table. I always made sure to sit next to people who I figured I’d have better conversations with. The girls in my comm are all pretty friendly so I never worried about not fitting in when I was new, despite not being very well dressed. Now I dress way better and I still have nice meaningful conversation with those same people. The type of people who never improve their style are usually the ones who are never assertive enough to talk to or engage with the better dressed folk, so they end up staying at the reject table for all eternity or before they drop out for the next cool weeb fashion/hobby to gain momentum.

>>10017637
Idk

new thread >>10023356

>>10011667
Not as bad as this anon