/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

So she fell into a vat of food coloring then rolled in some leaves... WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT!?! I cant believe I spent 2 months on my last cosplay *facepalm*

kept seeing threads about that blog but i never bothered to read it. thanks for the screencap.
lost it at cosplay is an artform

My boyfriend has all of the rules saved, in case anyone needs a laugh.

Here they are, for your edutainment:

If you follow Liz’s simple rules for cosplay, you’ll be just fine. EVERYONE WHO COSPLAYS… READ THIS.
1. Know thy character. This should go without saying, but don’t cosplay a character you don’t KNOW. Don’t just cosplay a character because you think s/he is cute or because your best friend/significant other is playing the counterpart. When you’re cosplaying, you ARE that character… not just dressed in the same clothing.
2. Know thy body. If you’re 5’3″ and 300 lbs., you’re never going to pull off a Sailor Moon costume, no matter how fucking awesome the costume itself is. Stay within your body type and range. Every time a fat girl wears a fuku, God kills a kitten. Please. Do it for the kittens.
3. Know thy material. Cheap costume satin is shiny, but does Kagome REALLY wear a satin school uniform? No. So, try and at least pretend you’re going for accuracy. Otherwise, your costume just looks lame. (*rimshot, for those who sew and know their fabric.*)
4. Know thy series. Whether you’re cosplaying an anime character, a video game star, or a book hero/ine, besides knowing the CHARACTER you are portraying, know the world that they are in. It’s really annoying to be, for example, cosplaying as Asuka from Evangelion, and running into someone cosplaying Rei who has NO CLUE WHO YOU ARE. (Yes, this has happened to me.) Group shots at conventions are awesome, and other cosplayers are fans just like you, so be respectful enough to the series you’re playing in to recognize your “co-stars” on sight.
5. Know thyself. If you can’t emotionally or mentally pull off a character, don’t. If you’re too bitter to play a happy character, or too happy to play a bitter one… in short, if your ACTING SKILLS are not up to par, please play a character that won’t take so much work out of you.

I just felt nauseous when she was talking about how she treated that girl who was dressed as a drow. I mean, yeah, obviously the girl needed make-up or whatever, but the what that bitch handled it was just rude and uncalled for.

Damn, bitch didn't even bother to paint her ears green too? Painting elf ears is literally the easiest damn thing in the world and she couldn't even do that?

6. Know thy props. If you are supposed to carry a giant boomerang made of bone, then do your damnedest to make it look like it’s made of bone. Making a cheap subsitute with duct-tape looks cheap, and detracts from your costuming. You can do things lightweight, legal, and good-looking, it’s just going to take time and patience.
7. Know thy timeline. Putting together fantastic cosplay takes time, heart, and dedication. If you don’t have all of those, then it’s best for you to step aside and just enjoy the show.
8. Know thy fandom. Be aware of the ebb and flows of fandom. If everyone and their brother is doing Fullmetal Alchemist cosplay, try Urusei Yatsura cosplay instead. Everyone in the same costumes gets old after the third or fourth Edward Elric you see.
9. Know thy gender. Don’t crossplay. I don’t care if you really like a certain character. If you’re a male, cosplay a male character. If you’re a female, cosplay a female one. (Certain limited exceptions can be made for very, very bishounen male characters being portrayed by females… but a good rule of thumb is just don’t do it.) Trust me, no one is impressed, more people are disgusted than anything else.
10. Know thy make-up. Even if you’re not in full-body paint, you need to wear at least a touch of MATTE make-up, if for nothing else than keeping your face from shining with sweat and oil in all those pictures… which leads me to:
11. Understand that you will have pictures taken of you. I can’t stress this one enough. Before you did cosplay, you were likely the one on the other side of the camera. Be courteous and kind and nice to your fans… just like other cosplayers were to you when you stopped them for a shot. Don’t count on getting anywhere fast, and be gracious, even if it takes you 40 minutes to get 15 feet down a hallway. I’ve been there, I do it every convention.

Continued:

Snobby? Elitist? Perhaps.
I don’t go up to people and tell them “oh, your costume sucks”. I think that’s a level of bitchy even I, Queen of the Snark and Bitter, refuse to attain. But am I smiling and nice when someone in a shitty costume who has made it obvious that they haven’t put any effort into what they are wearing comes up to me and starts being an idiot? No. I’m going to call them on it… in character, because I just don’t break character… honestly, I have more respect for the art.
Take Gencon a few years back. I’m cosplaying as a drow (surprise, surprise, but it is Gencon), and a cute little Asian girl toddles up to me. She’s wearing a metallic silver wig, a spider-print bodysuit (same material as tights), and a black bikini over the bodysuit. She then engages me in conversation about how it’s great that we’re the “only drow in the building”. Maybe you think it’s snobby or elitist, but I quirked a brow and said, “You? Drow? Surface dwellers have such an interesting sense of humour.”
She hadn’t put on makeup, so her skin was the tannish colour Asian skin tends to be, not the obsidian black of a drow elf. She had no elf ears. Her hair was METALLIC, and made of Christmas Tree tinsle, for Lolth’s sake. Is that supposed to be acceptable? She then further went on to say that she, too, was dressed up “like a drow” and that she wanted to walk around with me so she could get her picture taken with me, “you know, as just us two drow”.
At that point, I broke character and explained to her exactly why that wasn’t going to happen, and how she needed to FIX HER COSTUMING before continuing cosplaying as the character she was attempting to do poorly. Bitchy? Maybe. Constructive? Definitely.

"But it’s like this: Cosplay is an art form, and just like any other art form, it has standards. If you like to draw or paint, and someone else is on deviantart posting pictures of poorly drawn stick figures and genuinely expecting praise for them, it’s annoying because they aren’t even trying. There are several drawing and painting how-tos out there, consider this a cosplay how-to. People who are good at what they do don’t mind newbies picking up and trying their hands at it… but they do expect you to be willing to take some constructive criticism.
Today’s world has gotten too wrapped up in peoples’ self-esteem that the edges on life have been blunted for everyone. I’m not going to be all sweet and nice-nice and say “oh, it’s OKAY that you’re 200 pounds overweight and wearing a costume that’s less fabric than my string bikini!” when it’s NOT okay. If nothing else, they should know that as they are walking down the hallway, people are LAUGHING AT THEM. People are snapping pictures to stick up on the internet when they get home with captions these girls are not going to like, and these girls will see them a month after the convention and then start crying to whomever about how the world is out to get them. I’VE SEEN IT."

"I’m sick of the flame-baiting, I’m sick of the trolling, and I’m beyond fucking sick of the “there, there, it’s okay because that mean boy/girl is just jealous”. It’s not okay. It’s not fair that these girls put themselves through this because their entire lives they’ve been told that they are BEAUTIFUL CREATURES when they are really, at best, plain, and normally fat and ugly. They need a healthy dose of reality force-fed to them, and if I have to do it when they walk up to me, as a long-time cosplayer, and expect me to give them the same bullshit “you’re awesome, your costume is awesome, omg you’re hot” lies they’ve apparently heard their whole lives, then so be it. It’s counterproductive and unfair to them not to hear the truth… and hopefully, before they embarrass themselves in a public setting.
I’m all for helping people do excellent cosplay. No, it’s not expensive… trust me on this. I don’t have that much money to throw away on costumes, though I wish I did. It’s not hard to do, it just takes EFFORT. If you’re down to duct tape and bubblegum and are trying to cosplay Lina Inverse, you’ve got problems that not even a long-time cosplayer will be able to help you with, though.
Ask any of the people who’ve come to me seeking help with cosplay: I’m a great resource. I’m like your favorite art teacher from high school: I can show you how the basics are done, and give you pointers, but I’m not doing it for you, nor will I lie to you when your stuff isn’t WORKING."

"Why do people think it’s okay to throw something together the week before the convention, and that’s considered a “best effort”? And why do people insist on slamming people like me because we have standards?
The “it’s all for fun, why are you so mean?” bullshit is completely missing the point. As my friend Sheldon once pointed out: “[Cosplay] is really a form of attention-seeking and an art form. Therefore, you shouldn’t make it a half-assed effort. You’re trying to demonstrate your love and devotion to another art form by emulation. As such, it deserves your respect.”
This isn’t about being mean, it’s about honesty. And whether it’s “nice” or “okay” or “polite” or not, face facts: if you do sub-par cosplay at a convention, you will get mocked and derided, and no one but your sycophantic friends (who are honestly more concerned about you going emo and slitting your wrists for attention) is going to say anything against the mockery. Even those of us, like myself, who don’t actively join in, will look away in tacit agreement… because you deserve what you get.
If you insist on making a fool of yourself in public, don’t fucking complain when someone’s Flickr stream has a picture of you with a caption of “look at the whale trying to play Faye Valentine LOL”. And don’t get your feelings hurt when a hundred other people add their own comments that are equally hurtful.
And don’t demand that they take the photo off the internets, that’ll just make the trolling worse. Besides, when you got your convention ticket, you signed away your rights to any photos taken of you at the con. [Editor's note: I've had my picture taken down from a website before, but that was due to the person who found my picture using it to claim I and other cosplayers were racists. Not the same thing; they are being slanderous.] If you weren’t aware of that, then you never read the fine print on every single convention agreement form."

>>6573932
Because her Drow was 'soooo' much better

"Yes, people go to conventions to have fun.
I go to Renaissance Faires, SCA events, LARPs, game days, and conventions to have fun, too, and have for a very, very long time.
It annoys me to NO END when I’ve worked my ass off to research a costume and put it together so that it looks good—both as a costume and on my body, because just because something looks good in a drawing or on a mannequin does NOT mean you have the body to pull it off—and someone stomps by wearing a polyester nightmare of a so-called “medieval” or “gothic” gown that shows too much chest and generally implies that someone didn’t love them enough to tell them that they look like shit. Yes, I look at people like that and assume that they have no friends, because a real friend would tell you that you look like a bad Halloween costume after a night on Bourbon Street.
When I see people like that, I generally avoid them, unless it’s obvious that they really are trying and just failing. That’s the point I’m generally willing to step in with polite and constructive criticism and show the the ropes. But if it is—as it usually is—painfully obvious that they don’t care about authenticity, then they are pissing on my fandom."

Oh gosh, I'm dying. Is she serious? What a delusional bitch! Great for a laugh, though.

"It is not okay to piss on someone’s fandom for any reason. Just because you “want to have fun” falls into the category of “any reason”. If you want to have fun at a convention (or faire, or SCA event, whatever), then HAVE FUN. But don’t dress up like “someone else” to do it.
If you really want to get into cosplay as a hobby, or even just as a one-shot thing, then ASK. Research. There are literally hundreds of people in this hobby that actually KNOW what they are doing. I’ve never met a costumer yet who wouldn’t talk my ear off about construction and references and materials if I asked for more info. Not one. Ever. And their experience—these are the people who can tell you what brands and colors of makeup to avoid if you need to be able to pass for normal the week after the con, for example—is invaluable. But to be honest, I am absolutely not willing to share my knowledge with someone who isn’t trying to get it right. If you insult people by half-assing something, they really aren’t willing to help as much later on when the light bulb comes on.
I will ignore you, at best. And if you are making a fool of yourself in public, and you try to drag me into it in any shape, form, or fashion, I will tell you so. I’m not all that gentle about it, though I will try not to do so in front of a bunch of people if it is possible. I don’t CARE if I hurt your feelings, really—I don’t get off on it or anything, but it’s a necessity when everyone else is looking away and letting you go about your oblivious way until your back is turned and their camera phone is ready. And really, is that what you want to put yourself through?
So follow my Rules of Cosplay. If you do, you will be able to avoid the worst of the humiliation. And if you can’t… or won’t? Maybe it’s just best for you to sit back and enjoy the work other people put into their costuming."

Finally the bitch shuts up. Guess she had to make sure she dug her hole deep enough.

>>6573948
>>6573948
Nappy wig and uneven body-paint/10

Third thread I've read about this and still makes me rage (the pics helped tie it up in a nice little bow). Nice to see they're all basically unanimous in that she's a fucking cunt.

Why are we having so many "cosplay rules" threads lately?

>>6573948
Wow. I've seen larpers who have been doing full contact gaming for over six hours in 90+ degree heat who didn't look half as bad as she does.

>>6573971
Link please?

I read her google+ page. It has the most narcissistic drivel I've ever seen. Directly from her page:

"I’m a scowling, squeeful drowgirl; a dominating submissive, a priceless work of art and a continual work in progress. I am an exercise in contradiction, though a contradiction cannot exist in reality. I am a philosopher, a thinker, a doer, and a believer– but I question everything."

>>6573971
Never mind, I found it and wow, her "about" section is ridiculous

I know, it's crazy.

>>6573971
She sounds like a sentient fedora.

fuck that crazy bitch

>>6574003
Don't misdirect your comparisons, pal (but really that's the best insult I've heard all night)

>>6574003

You are a fucking genius.

>>6574003
That's just brilliant.
You've earned this gif.

Oh lord, this girl is precious. Does this bitch have a DevArt account? I'm dying to see what her "amazing" cosplay looks like.

Currently trying to find a DevArt.

Apparently she was involved with some project called "The Dungeon Masters"? Her Drow makeup looks like absolute dog shit.

>>6573949
>It annoys me to NO END when I’ve worked my ass off to research a costume and put it together so that it looks good—both as a costume and on my body, because just because something looks good in a drawing or on a mannequin does NOT mean you have the body to pull it off—and someone stomps by wearing a polyester nightmare of a so-called “medieval” or “gothic” gown that shows too much chest and generally implies that someone didn’t love them enough to tell them that they look like shit.

Now I'm kind of interested how does her authentic costumes looks like

>>6574260
Its made of super authentic high school prom dress material and upholstery fabric with ZERO ribbing.
That fucking waist band...

>>6574276
Opps forgot my pic

Okay we need to spam her DevArt account and her blog, I hate puffed up self-righteous types like this idiot who live in a fantasy world where they can do no wrong. She can't apply an even coat of grease paint on her body and she's CRITICIZING other people about their shitty costumes? She needs a cold hard dose of reality.

>>6574285
> Dat pot belly
> Dat pig nose
> Dat greasy hair
> Dat one black lady in the bg trying to escape all the white people.

Pretty sure I have seen this thread some years ago. She's not really new.

>>6574285
If anybody has the right to complain about overweight cosplayers, it's the seams of that poor top.

>>6574300
This blog post was exactly 2 years old last night. I guess it was overdue to explode and die.

>>6574302

Haha. Although I suppose she did have to get "authentically" old curtains to look that bad.

>>6574003
That's not fair to fedoras, man.

>>6574310
Nothing wrong with old curtains though. I've interviewed a LARP-er who does an amazing goblin (The acting, the costume) and his costume is made out of old curtains. So yeah..

>cosplaying as Asuka from Evangelion, and running into someone cosplaying Rei who has NO CLUE WHO YOU ARE. (Yes, this has happened to me.)

Or the Rei was in character and said nothing because Rei is blank and distant about everything naturally.

Or she's not even sure who the fat ass is trying to portray because it's such a bad cosplay of Asuka, probably made the poor Rei uncomfortable as fuck.

Can't really take her seriously when she looks nothing like Asuka. Just imagining it makes me cringe.

>>6574385
My money's on that her Asuka cosplay was so bad that the Rei couldn't make out who she was.

>>6574288
A few people I know posted comments on her Facebook page about how much of a hypocrite she was being without proof to back it up. She basically deleted everything after that in an act of sheer cowardice.

>>6574288
Why is she deleting shit? I thought she valued honesty and criticism of costumes...

whoa, while the chick speaks some truth...when you make claims about researching or being a good costume you actually have to BE A GOOD COSTUMER.

Man am I ever glad I was finished with growing up before 4chan, blogs, and facebook were a thing. Now everything stupid you say is saved forever.

>>6574285
oh god does she have a kid!

>>6574406
did anyone happen to save the post about she's a supergenius? or the "types of girl geek one", where she talks about how she''s the hot one?

LOL No fucking way in hell I would pay this bitch $600 for a Mad Moxxi costume. My definition and her definition of "accurate" are completely different. In fact, this entire entry is lulzy all things considered http://web.archive.org/web/20111116230824/http://fandomscaresus.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/on-costuming/

>>6574454
oohhhh thank god there's an archive, it would be terrible to lose this shit

>>6574454
If you look at the illustrations of Mad Moxxi, you can plainly see that the jacket has slightly lighter red vertical striping (also known as damask).
> Meaning just buying a cheap red broadcloth or costume satin won’t LOOK right.
> It’ll be almost right, and almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
>Believe me, the inaccuracy will be noticed.
no it won't you fucking aspie

I know anon already posted but I screen caped the original. Just in-case someone wants it.

will someone please post links?
Its Rant time.
>pic related. mfw >>6574493

I found her LJ. Like most, it hasn't been updated in a while. But there's some crappy love letters and fuggo costumes.

http://sangochan.livejournal.com/profile

Also her profile said she's 30. You'd think people would have stopped taking cosplay so seriously by then.

Oh look, Lily had to have her input too. It's so damn hard to take anything of hers seriously when one can barely read her illegible keyboard-mashing.

>>6574591
Found this on the MySpace linked to her LiveJournal. I'm guessing she ties people up and berates them, because I'm not sure who would have sex with her willingly.

>>6574594

...wat.

Why would she post a picture of her sexual bondage shit online.

Why.

I can't.

>>6574596
This is the attached comment she made on the photo, I shit you not: "Note, the blanket is cute and pink and covered in collars, restraints, shackles, and other such. My grandmother made it for me for Christmas"

She has juicy weeaboo bondage sex on her granny's blankey.

>>6574591
>http://sangochan.livejournal.com/profile
Maybe she's autistic...

>>6574598

I puked in my mouth.

>>6574598

Delusion.

Everyone that cosplays has some degree of it but this woman has it in spades

This is a clip of her from a "nerd documentary" where she's putting the blackface on. I love how she says she wishes people would love her for who she is instead of judging her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgNBlAzMbA0&NR=1&feature=endscreen

>MFW she says overweight people shouldn't cosplay

Can this be our new Pixiteri?

She's 30 and behaves this way and still takes a hobby this seriously? I'm going to assume a mental retardation. I wonder how she even made it into a community college.
I knew someone like her when I was getting my bachelor's degree, and she was autismal as fuck.

>>6574594
>>6574598
...eugh..those halloween bunny ears..

But seriously, a lot what what she's said has been said here on /cgl/. I guess people would be more inclined to side with her if her costumes weren't so mediocre at best.

But if she's not sorry about her rules- why she deleting them?

>>6574625
It makes me feel better about myself. I'm 27 and will occasionally bother making a costume if I go to a con, but it's just for a bit of fun and some photos. I don't give a shit what other people look like. If someone was wearing a hot-glued variant of the character I was dressed up as, my reaction would be to talk to them because they obviously like the same show/comic/movie that I like. That's the beauty of cons - it's so easy and fun to make friends.

>>6574619

What the fuck.

>>6574619
>Most guys don't date me for me...they date me for what I do. And they don't really care about whether or not I think or talk with them or philosophize with them or whatever...

Wow, that's a sucky view about herself.

God lord! This woman is delusional. I had heard about this blog through a friend but had to see for myself. Couldn't find it but thanks to cgl I have now seen it. Love to know why she feels that she knows enough to post these rules.

Why is it that cosplayers feel the need to post rules anyway. Its a fucking hobby for Christ's sake!

This is her official theme song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb09HZhJNcs

>So... yeah, I've been off the radar for awhile here.

>I've mostly moved over to my new site (click here if you want to see it) when I have time to blog. Which I don't lately, because I've done what a handful of you crackbabies have suggested and started running a convention.

>Yes.

>I have, no joke. For those of you who may not be aware, we just got the venue and date set for the first year of Lexi-con.

>Lexi-con.com. Yes.

>Registration opens by the end of July. Hopefully I'll see you guys there. :)

I really want to know if this was an epic failure, the post was dated 2009 so I'm assuming the con would have happened in 2010. Does anyone know anything about it?

>>6573932
>I think that?s a level of bitchy even I, Queen of the Snark and Bitter, refuse to attain.
>At that point, I broke character and explained to her exactly why that wasn?t going to happen, and how she needed to FIX HER COSTUMING before continuing cosplaying as the character she was attempting to do poorly. Bitchy? Maybe. Constructive? Definitely.

I want to punch you in the gut until you vomit special snowflakes.

>>6574721
Am I the only person that doesn't even think that happened? She strikes me as internet tough guy, I doubt she would have had the grapes.

>>6574709

The website has turned into whatever the hell this is, and the Facebook page I found only has five friends.

So I would say yes, epic failure indeed.

>>6574725
Yea, it just seems so fake.
>surface dwellers
Who even talks like that? I also doubt the girl would have let that slide without rebuttle.

>>6574725
All things considered, you're probably right. She's clearly self absorbed as fuck and at a certain point is going to have to make up "proof" of how awesome she is.

>>6573942
>their entire lives they’ve been told that they are BEAUTIFUL CREATURES when they are really, at best, plain, and normally fat and ugly
I love that this is coming from a fat, ugly girl who considers herself "the hot one".

I can't even get angry at this bitch, she's too pathetic.

>Day 01 — Something You Hate About Yourself (30 Days of Truth)
>I don’t like to admit to it often, but I do hate myself. Not just something about myself– I genuinely look in the mirror most days and wonder how it is anyone puts up with me. I’m not overly attractive. I’m emotionally unstable. I’m intelligent, assuredly, but with intelligence of the level I have comes a certain level of pure arrogance and laziness that makes it suprising I remember to breathe. I learned the fine science of manipulation, and wonder if I’m not doing it unconciously half the time. I’m self-righteous, moody, irritable, and filled with so much hubris that it’s a wonder I haven’t been struck by lightning.

It starts out honest but quickly turns into "the reason I'm such an insufferable bitch is because I'm just ~*too awesome*~ for this world". The rest of the post is, paraphrased "oh I hate that I'm so judgmental, here let me list all the reasons why you are inferior to me regardless of what you do, teehee aren't I a meanie".
I bet she's one of those people who really identifies with characters like House, without seeming to realise that they don't have any of those characters' redeeming qualities.

>>6574725
>She strikes me as internet tough guy

Probably, but then again I've known few guys that were as brazen in their rude behaviour as most women. Men are internet tough guys because they might get their ass kicked in person, but women very rarely get their ass kicked so they don't have much to keep their behaviour in check. I've known man a bird that really could do with a nice severe beating to put them in line. This one might just be one of them.

>>6574142
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJpc0lsdaZ4
It's up on hulu apparently too.
I know what I'm doing before I go to work.

>>6574630
>But seriously, a lot what what she's said has been said here on /cgl/

/cgl/'s not bashing her because she said a few things like, "fat people shouldn't try to cosplay skinny characters" and "you should know the series you're cosplaying from." It's everything else. Sit down and really read everything she typed. The way she passes off shoddy opinions as cosplay law and then look at the way she tries to justify it by pretending she has every right, as an experienced and skilled cosplayer (which she isn't), to be a total cruel bitch to everyone around her because she's the alpha nerd and cosplay is a fucking artform.

Without context.. Like, if you remove a few lines, some of this seems kind of crude but just sort of reasonable. Then you start seeing her costumes (see: Splotchy Drow and curtain dress) and reading her lists of nerd girl stereotypes and how she thinks she's the token hot chick and the center of attention, and the girl who is too cool to be a nerd, and the totally awesome bro-chick who can slam down brews better than the guys...

And on top of all of that *SHE'S 30* and doing all this shit.

This is worse than /cgl/ has ever been, even at its lowest point.

>>6574860
I continued to say more would probably be willing to side with her if her costumes weren't mediocre at best.
I'm not excusing her at all or agreeing with her. Her attitude is shittacular and I relish the idea on this blowing up in her face.
Just saying a lot of her attitude about her rules of cosplay can be found here.
>uglies,fattis, shitty costumes etc

>>6574730

I think she was trying to stay in-character, with the whole, "Drow living underground" thing.
Still makes her come off as a pretentious tryhard, though.

>>6574874
I still think the difference is that /cgl/ doesn't make a giant fucking list about this shit, then say "EVERYONE WHO COSPLAYS NEEDS TO FOLLOW THESE RULES" and tries to back it up by insisting that being in character all the time makes them better than others and that they are doing this because they want to help people and they are a genuine connoisseur of the costuming arts.

>>6574003
I generally lurk, but that is the best thing I've heard.

>>6574621
Please, /cgl/? Can she be our duchess?

>>6574447
Seconding this! That sounds hilarious if anyone has it!

>>6574913
Oops. Nevermind. I stopped being lazy and found it (ish).

>>6574447
>http://web.archive.org/web/20111118021939/http://fandomscaresus.wordpress.com/2011/01/

I am me.

Being me means that I am a geek, a heartless bitch, a gamer, a "shoulda-been-an-english-major", a weirdo (nay, an eccentric!), a webmonkey, a codemonkey, an "otaku" of the mediumest degree, a cosplayer, a sci-fi dweeb, a fantasy buff, and a scowling, squeeful drowgirl.

I'm an Army Brat and thusly grew up all over the US. I "went grad" from Moanalua High School in Honolulu, Hawaii in May of 2001. Since then, I've been aimlessly wandering through college trying to determine exactly where I needed/wanted to be. Three or four major changes and two colleges in Mississippi later (I've flipped back and forth between academic and technical a few times), I'm still working on my degree. One day, I may actually get a degree. Maybe. I'm currently on hiatus from schooling until 2008, when I'll be going back for my Bachelors in Information Technology with a minor in Psychology, and eventually my Masters in Psychology.

I'm a web developer at an awesome web design firm in Pensacola, Florida. Other than that, I'd be working on short stories set in Faerun or Eberron for Wizards of the Coast in hopes of being picked up as a writer, except I spend way too much time doing anything but writing.

When I'm not "working", I spend my time sewing, LARPing, singing along with good music, playing/gming Dungeons and Dragons, studying for certifications, going to class, reading fantasy and sci-fi novels, playing World of Warcraft, watching anime, going to sci-fi, anime, gaming, and/or comic conventions, and trying to keep myself out of as much trouble as I get into (it's all about balance).

>>6574922

I have two cats, 500+ stuffed animals, and a great boyfriend. I have two parents and a sibling. I have a large collection of anime, a larger collection of books, and the best friends a person could ever ask for.
I'm proud to be a female geek. I'm proud to be a heartless bitch. I'm a continual work in progress, but I'm growing every day.

I am me. Deal with it.
I've dug myself out of my grave, and I'm still healing. My scars will never fade, but my companions find me strong and beautiful, not despite them, but many times because of them.

> implying she has friends
> implying she can write coherently

>>6574922
>>6574923
Sounds like she's got terrible social skills and a wide, wide variety of anxieties that she disguises with this 'heartless bitch' persona.

Also, way to be a giant fucking stereotype.
>30-something generic nerd who does web design and LARPS on the side in an eccentric and shitty looking costume.

No wonder they featured her in that awful documentary.

>>6574849
/cgl/ needs to have weeaboo movie night every friday.

>>6574931
That actually sounds like a really nice idea.

>>6574895
/cgl/ doesn't have rles for cosplay because we know its stupid and it would turn into a "I hate sjw" thread.

>>6574937
Maybe some animu before we get to the main event, then youtube some classic weebery, watch some crappy documentaries like this one- it sounds like a party.

Female Geek Stereotypes, and why NOT to be one
By Elizabeth Reesman

So, being that I’m now actually interacting with the public again, as opposed to hiding behind XBox gamertags, World of Warcraft avatars, and only interacting in real life with people of known quantity… I have am back to observing people and their behavior and interactions. It’s disheartening.

You see, I’ve realized that the female geeks that don’t completely hide the fact that they are geeks tend towards these REALLY horrid stereotypes. And by that, I mean… I have some hatred for them. I pity the stereotypical geek guys. I hate the geek females, and this is why: they should KNOW better.

Here’s the breakdown of the geek females.

>>6574947
The Catgirl

They aren’t necessarily just CATGIRLS, per ce. This includes Angel Girls, Winged Girls, Girls Who Wear Unnecessary Extra Appendages/Ears/Whatever To Draw Attention To Themselves and Look CUUUUTE.

The catgirl is not nearly as cute as she thinks she is, even if she’s a teenage girl, which is the only excuse for attempting the catgirl stereotype. Catgirls over the age of 17 are just creepy, like they are desperately trying to prove that they are younger than they actually are, in hopes of attracting… what? A pedobear? Some perverted guy who is 30+ looking for a girl half his age? Lets be realistic here.

Generally, cat girls alter their natural speech patterns as well as wear wings/ears/tails/whatever. They generally make their voices more high-pitched and “childlike”, and often throw in bits and pieces of misprounounced words from other languages, often (but not always) Japanese. Or worse, they use baby-talk. If the high-pitched girly-child tone doesn’t make you want to stab them repeatedly in the face with a spork, the gibberish they attempt to use definitely will.

They act as cutesy as possible, generally wearing tight shirts (and by tight, I mean two sizes too small), fluffy skirts, Mary Jane shoes, and generally trying to be the nerd version of the 30 year old woman dressing like a Catholic School Girl to spice up her sex life.

My verdict: Sad, immature, depressing, stupid, and PLEASE go actually study the language you’re trying to butcher before you use it.

caption: Me in my Catgirl stage, circa 2002/2003ish. I got better.

>>6574948
The Token Hot Girl

The Token Hot Girl actually has the most potential of all the stereotypes, but she wastes it. Not quite a “Nerd In Denial”, she actually embraces her geekdom– and then proceeds to stomp all over it with a pair of six-inch heels.

She is generally in shape, or at least thin enough to fake it. She also wears clothing that’s way too tight, but at least it follows (mostly) whatever is currently in vogue or in style. She is lusted after by all her geeky male friends, and may even date them in a string of failed relationships. She’s filled with self-loathing because she hates the nerdy part of her for making her an outcast among the so-called “cool crowd”, but is loathe to let it go because she doesn’t want to give up being the hottest girl among a group of ugly fat geeks to risk being, at best, average among a group of other hot chicks.

There are two types of Token Hot Girl: the first embraces a few or all of her geek hobbies and uses them to torment and tempt her male geek friends. The second almost hides her hobbies, quietly partaking in them and mostly trying to steer the group towards non-geek activites.

In either event, she’s cruel and vindictive to other females within the geek group, and usually ends up starting (or joining) cliques within whichever geek circle (LARP group, computer science class, whatever) so that there is a ratio of 1 Token Hot Girl:3 Loser Followers (generally drawn from the other stereotypes). They, just like their Evil Cheerleader Counterparts, need to feel feared, lusted after, and superior.

For those of you wishing to point out that there are Token Hot Girls who are capable of being nice, I would like to state this: you’re wrong.

>>6574952
Even the “non-vindictive” kind, at least to your (likely male) eyes are catty and vindictive to OTHER FEMALES. Just because it’s not [name redacted] levels of “haet” does not mean it’s not there. The nicest bully in the playground is still a bully, and girls bully other girls generally in different ways than guys do, and usually in ways men neither understand nor see.

caption: The author as of December of 2010. This is likely her final evolutionary stage. She is no longer a Magikarp.

Argh, I wish her fb was more open. Pic related, her current cover.

>>6574954
The Overweight Cosplayer

Wow. This is for all the 300 lb., 5’2″ girls who put on Sailor Moon costumes and think anyone wants to see that…

The overweight cosplayer is either delusional or overcompensating for her own horrible body image. She emulates characters she will never be, not only in costuming and clothing choices, but in actions and trying to shoehorn her flaccid and otherwise boring personality into a weak approximation of whatever anime or video game character she feels like emulating this month. She has no real persona of her own, as she’s just a fatty kludge of various mismatched personality quirks from whatever so-called “strong female character” that makes her feel less like the loser she is.

Typical Sufferers of Overweight Cosplaying display the following symptoms:

>>6574957

They drink Coke products and sugary energy drinks non-stop, and have never seen a glass of water or milk (unless it’s got an entire bottle of Hershey’s Syrup in it)
They wear backpacks that were meant for elementary school kids… and it’s ludicrously obvious if for no other reason than the size disparity
They have eating disorders. Usually of the “I just ate an entire extra large pizza by myself in two minutes” variety.
They are all supposedly on diets. Most people, when they diet, eat salads and carrots and drink water. What the Overweight Cosplayer means by a diet is that she only eats Twinkies, Twix Bars, Pizza, French Fries, and avoids anything green or remotely healthy. Bonus points are given for ingesting FRIED Twinkies or Twix Bars.
They have no concept of their own weight, and say stupid things like “oooh, look at her outfit! Don’t you think that would look good on me?” at various points of animes/TV shows/walking down the mall
If the escalator breaks down, they get stuck. (I’m not making this up– 300 lb. whale of a girl cosplaying Chii at 2008′s Gencon… Troy and I saw this happen.)
They speak fluent Huttese.

caption: She gets an "E" for effort, but really? Whenever a fat girl cosplays, it makes the baby Jesus cry.

>>6574958
The Silent Type

You know, that girl, the one that sits in the back of the booth at the buffet at a table with five guys all talking about D&D or World of Warcraft or whatever? Yeah, you know, the one wearing a black t-shirt with some witty gaming slogan on it, hasn’t washed her hair in two weeks, and her hair is hanging in her face obscuring her ex-goth-emo-IWasAHotTopicKidBeforeTheySoldOut (when had they not) makeup?

No?

Oh yeah, that’s because no one notices her, and she likes it that way.

…moving along, because she’s not important enough to give a shit about…

Well, then, there’s also the socially inept ones that are often mistaken for the Silent ones, but really really just want to one day fit in with the rest of geekdom. And that’s kinda sad. (There is no picture of her, because we can’t find any. Sorry! That’s what she gets for hiding all the damn time.)

>>6574960
The Butch

“Anything you can do, I can do better! I can do anything better than you!” This girl tries to prove that she is just as good if not better than her male geek counterparts. Likely, this is because she actually wonders if she is in fact, inferior to them, so she overcompensates by emulating a super-competitive male high school star football quarterback, complete with:

Obsession with sex and “getting some” (usually also evidenced in a propensity to play horny male characters)
Being a poor sport… throwing tantrums when losing and rubbing it in unnecessarily when winning
Spends hours honing pvp skills and wants “competitive gameplay” with “real consequences”
Generally plays tanks or flavor of the month PVP classes
Chortles along with the guys when someone makes a perverse comment
Desperately wants to be one of the guys
Dresses in cargo pants and oversized t-shirts, trying to obscure her femininity
Enjoys min-maxing more than your average dude
Has the biggest epeen, making up for her lack of equipment in that arena
Knows more about comic books/obscure D&D rules/computers/science/math/whatever than anyone else in the group
The arch-nemesis of the Token Hot Girl, as she generally bad-mouths the THG to the guys behind THG’s back. This is because she wishes she had the balls to wear something from a store that caters to women.

Also, the guys NEVER notice her as a potential female companion, because she’s spent so much of her time being one of the guys. Sucks to be her.

caption: The author can drink like a frat boy. This is picture proof, from a couple years back.

>>6574962
The Center of Attention

This chick is occasionally referred to as “Rescue Bait”. This is because she’s generally playing the character in a tabletop game or LARP that gets kidnapped by plot or the GM and set up as the darling little princess that needs to be rescued over and over again.

It’s not that the Center of Attention is unattractive, because she’s actually usually quite cute. It’s just that she’s not as cute as the Token Hot Girl, and she knows it and hates it. In fact, she’s even more likely to hook up with her male geek friends because she’s not as “untouchable” as the THG, as she rather actively pursues relationships with them.

She’s rarely without a boyfriend, usually a geeky one that worships the very ground she walks on. However, she generally doesn’t appreciate it. Where the Token Hot Girl’s relationships generally end because she dumps them out of irritation with the clinginess of the average geek boy; the Center of Attention generally has the relationship ended, in tears and drama, because she cheats. She needs the attention, you see, and not just one guy is enough. She gets bonus points if she cheats on her current boyfriend with someone who is also in a relationship.

She enjoys drama, and creates it at every available moment. As her name suggests, she needs to be the Center of Attention—all eyes on her. Often she speaks loudly, says off-color or shocking things (especially when there are guys around), and imperfectly attempts to emulate the social bullying that the Token Hot Girl does effortlessly. She either sets herself up opposite the group’s THG, poorly attempting to thwart her, or follows her around like a puppy dog, hoping for a pat on the head and an “atta girl”.

>>6574963
A good sign of the center of attention is a girl who always has Charisma as her primary stat… even if she’s not playing a bard or a sorc. Generally, unless the Center of Attention is doing something specifically helpful to any of the other stereotypes, any of them are inclined to roll their eyes and do whatever they can to make her look stupid. Not that she needs much help.

caption: The author makes a sexy dark elf! Look at her! Isn't she hot!? Don't you want her?! LOOK NOW! Pay attention to her, she's in makeup!

>>6574619
Ah yes, The Dungeon Masters. I've watched the whole thing just because she was in it. She is a real crazy. I mean I play DnD but I don't go to sessions dressed up as a Changeling or Fairy

>>6574965

[This one is deliciously butthurt]

The Healer Girlfriend

This is, believe it or not, my most hated of the stereotypes.

Why? BECAUSE SHE’S NOT A NERD. She’s not even a nerd-in-training. She’s a POSER. She is a travesty to all things nerdy, and I will not stand for it anymore! Bwahahaha–ahem.

The Healer Girlfriend is dating a nerd, and is so jealous, possessive, and clingy she can’t stand the idea of her boyfriend/husband/significant other gaming with the guys. She believes, without a doubt, that some other female will show up and her precious mannykins will cheat on her, or at least be tempted by the reminder that there are other females in the world than her.

Did I mention the Healer Girlfriend is usually even more of a loser than ANY of these other stereotypes? I mean, she’s a loser WITHOUT being a nerd/geek/dweeb. Come ON, see how bad this is? She’s generally either ugly or fat or both, which leads to her feelings of neediness and jealousy.

She does not believe that the Butch or Silent Type or Femme-Nazi in your gaming group is not a threat, and she is ABSOLUTELY certain that you will leave her for the Token Hot Girl, the Center of Attention (who she constantly tries to steal the spotlight from), and/or the Mary Sue. See? She’s more confident in your ability to hit it with chicks than you are.

>>6575006
So she dutifully follows you to your weekly tabletop session and/or your monthly LARP, being cattier and bitchier than ten Token Hot Girls combined. She cries whenever someone points out that she messes up, expects you to defend her, and makes it so every character she plays is not only the worst cleric the party has ever seen, but also your girlfriend/wife/love interest… and if you don’t reciprocate, THERE WILL BE ALL NINE HELLS TO PAY.

If you have a healer girlfriend, trust me: the sex is not worth it. DUMP IT AND RUN LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

(The other version of this, and less evil, is the poor girlfriend that’s dragged along because her boyfriend makes her, or whines at her until she assents. If this is you, I’m sorry. Dump him now, because you shouldn’t have to put up with hobbies you’re not interested in.)

caption: I could not stick up any pictures of the couple of people I know fit this stereotype, because I can't deal with the boohooing. You know who you are.

>>6575006
>>6575011
I've never seen so much projection and mad displayed in words before this moment.

It's almost endearing.

>>6575011
The Nerd in Denial

You don’t often see this stereotype hanging around with other geeks in areas geeks tend to congregate, as she is trying very hard not to let anyone know of her true proclivities. She orders her fantasy books off Amazon, instead of going to the local bookstore and risking being seen in the sci-fi/fantasy section. She doesn’t share her Xbox gamer tag with anyone, lest there be someone that sees that she can easily whip her brother in Halo, and she spends 12 hours a week on World of Warcraft. She will never be seen at a convention, because there might be someone there that recognizes her and her cover will be blown.

I include her because she is a stereotype. If this is you: you’re not alone. Also, you’re not as good at hiding your hobbies as you think.

caption: The author isn't a nerd, and this is why you don't know this picture was taken at the Audubon Insectarium in New Orleans, where she was geeking out over science.

>>6575022
The Mary Sue

All of her characters, in tabletop, LARP, or fanfiction, are “original”, just ask her. And by original we mean just like her, except maybe with elf ears or something like that. And an idealized version of herself—either what she wishes she was or believes she is.

It’s not odd that her version of herself in all her stories and plot-arcs end up with her hooking up with Inuyasha/Draco Malfoy/Ranma/Jack O’Neill/Lucas Wolenczak/Captain JAMES T. KIRK (as played by Chris Pine)/Sylar or whatever guy she just happens to think is a hottie this week. That’s not contrived! That’s… that’s proof that she IS the most perfect person in the world, at least for the fictional character that she’s madly in love with. And she’s not obsessed, she’s determined.

Just ask her.

She’ll be glad to tell you. (No pictures available, but for examples, click here [link to ff.net].)

>>6575024
The Expert

“I only watch anime in the original Japanese,” you hear from across the coffee house, “ON TV Tokyo. At least three YEARS before any of YOU get it over here in America.” She smugly sneers at her companion, generally a beta animal of some sort. “And I prefer to listen to Japanese and Korean rock music, because American rock is just soooo blasé, don’t you think?” If you sudden feel the urge to facepalm, you’re not alone. It’s one of the sure signs you are in the presence of The Expert.

The Expert (usually of anime, but it can be of anything geek-related) is one of the most annoying of the stereotypes. She rubs in her so-called expert knowledge every time she opens her mouth. She is a boring conversationalist, because her conversations are only about that which she has such self-professed expertise of: anime, tabletop gaming, comic books, you know, whatever. And she announces her superiority at every possible moment, and in front of people who frankly, my dear, DON’T GIVE A DAMN.

No one cares that she “finds Geneon’s dubbing to be sub-standard, even for stupid American anime distributors”, or that “Marvel’s continuity issues have gotten worse in the past 20 years, and let me give you a four hour lecture on the reasons why”. Geeks barely care about this stuff most of the time; the mundanes that the Expert insists on rambling loudly to or in front of care even less.

>>6575026
[Whoops, I skipped this one]

The Femme-Nazi

She hates men. What can else can I say?

Seriously, the Femme-Nazi is the Butch, only taken to an even worse extreme. Where the Butch wants to be accepted by the guys, the Femme-Nazi just hates and resents them, and needs to prove that she doesn’t need them and she’s a superior human being to them.

She dresses like a guy, swaggers like a guy… actually, she exhibits more genuinely masculine traits than they average male geek. She doesn’t date, and she takes extreme offense to any comment a man makes, even if it’s not meant to be offensive.

She usually doesn’t hang with guys or game with guys unless she has no other choice, but generally the male to female ratio in fandom forces her to do so. (If anyone has any appropriate pictures, let me know.)

>>6575031
[Where is her part in this?]

In Conclusion…

To be fair, I will point out that I currently AM a Token Hot Girl, and though I’ve never been the Healer Girlfriend or the Femme-Nazi (or the Overweight Cosplayer, as when I was overweight I kept my fat to myself), that there is, somewhere on the interwebs, proof that I was at varying points a Catgirl, a Mary Sue (please don’t read my Harry Potter fanfiction), The Center of Attention (that’s the only explanation I can come up with for the travesty that was my particpation in The Dungeon Masters), The Butch, The Expert (for which I’m truly sorry), and a Nerd in Denial. At least I’ve never been the Healer Girlfriend. I can play a cleric, dammit.

And so I do, unfortunately, know these stereotypes, and one day I hope to break free of them. If anyone else has a 12-step program, please let this author know.

For someone who thinks she's so smart and has claimed that she wants to be a writer, she's really, REALLY terrible at concealing the fact that she's just writing about herself and that she's full of self-loathing.

No one ever goes to 'the coffee house" and loudly discusses their knowledge of anime. No one has ever been threatened by the idea of her stealing their boyfriend. In fact, it's probably the other way around. She's the jealous bitch who shows up, pretends she knows everything about the game, then gets angry when no one listens to her and her 'mannykins' ends up talking with another girl at the table.

If she's the token hot girl, what are we? Most seagulls I've seen are more attractive than her. Oh, wait. I bet we would all be the center of attention type trying to steal all her natural popularity

>>6575049

She's the delusional girl. Some girls just think they're hot shit for no reason.

>>6575049
I'm a mixture of the Butch and the Expert.

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW SOME PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT MY EXTREMELY RESEARCHED AND THOROUGHLY DETAILED OPINIONS

Bitch.

>all these assmad women bitching about some tart in an internet video

I came here to laugh at you.

>>6575056
So you didn't read the thread and you are totally new here. Good to know.

>>6575056

>>6575006
Why does this just sound like she's pissed that guys around her have girlfriends thatre 'not az nrrrd grl as me!! SHE'S TOTALLY JEALOUS OF ME HANGING OUT WITH YOU I KNOW IT! "
She seems also like the type of girl who wears really low hanging cleavage shirts to tabletop games

>>6575065
Reminds me of a chick I gamed with for a while. Chubby in the bad way, elitest, and dressed so horribly with the intention to flirt and get attention that some of the guys would ask her how the streets were when she came in. They'd also get the fuck out of there when the session was over to avoid her. The poor thing never seemed to catch on.

>>6575054
Yeah, I probs fit the expert too. Unlike Liz, I'm actually interested in my hobbies and I like learning as much as I can about them. I'm not into vidya/larping/Magic/etc. for the attention I could get, but because I have fun doing those things and want to get better. So yeah, I do have long, detailed theories and opinions and questions about certain things because when people enjoy something, they tend to be curious to know more about it.

Basically she mad that other people are actually interested in the things that she only pretends to enjoy so she can be A Quirky Nerd Girl ©.

>MFW she has the same name as me
I've never been so ashamed to be named Elizabeth.

>>6575110
Same here, fellow Elizabeth. It almost makes me want to start using my middle name, even though it's not as nice sounding.

We should make this like a personality quiz game. for everything that applies to you , get a certain number of points. If you get enough, you are ELIZABETH

..Or something

>>6575110
>>6575112
My mother almost named me Elizabeth

instead she went with the only worse name for the early 90's: Jessica

This too shall pass my children, I feel your pain

>>6575073
Yikes. There's a girl my friend games with who may not dress provocatively, she certainly acts outlandish for attention. She would use large words(accompanied with a near snide tone. Obviously belittling ) , bad mouth players that aren't there, her character always required attention from the dm and she says she's bitchy and real and you have to accept her for it.

>>6575199
Your friends should get the DM to let her play a succubus and let her think that her character will be a sexy little waif. This chick did that and holy hell, when she was told that her strength was 20-something and the character was essentially a female version of my monk, she was so put out that she pouted the rest of the night and tried quietly bitching to her friend about it. I am very thankful that I moved out of state and have no chance of encountering her again.

>>6574619

Wait? Did she basically give up the booty to get that job "she always wanted?"

Figures.

This girl is a cunt. No other way about it.

>>6574667
Clearly this princess needs only skilled and beautiful cosplayers in her fandoms.

>>6575033
Token hot girl my ass, gurrrrlll that aint cute. You just another delusional overweight ugly bitch.

Has she said anything since she apparently got chewed out up the ass?

>>6575381
I think everyone here is too smart to be friends with her (or even to fake it), FB or otherwise.

>>6575006
>>6575011
I can sum this one up rather quickly
> THERE'S THIS BITCH I HATE WHO HAS A BOYFRIEND THAT I WANT TO DATE AND SHE ISN'T A NERD SO SHE DOESN'T DESERVE HIM
Fuck, if I had a dollar every time I've heard that...

I laugh at this because I would be considered in this (with a mix of Butch, I guess). I got into tabletops because I wanted to bond with my boyfriend and his friends (but fuck playing a healer, I was the spy of the group, fuck yeah 90 disguise) and thought it was fun. I got into LARP for similar reasons. I was a console gamer before meeting him but then I expanded my horizons. This chick sounds pissed that some dude she liked got a girlfriend who then started getting into his nerdy stuff and she went THAT'S NOT OK.
> But she's scared of the Token Hot Girl
So much projection.

>>6574941
YES

>>6574952
>she doesn’t want to give up being the hottest girl among a group of ugly fat geeks to risk being, at best, average among a group of other hot chicks.

she even shes not ACTUALLY hot she just looks it when throw into a cage of baboons.

>>6574956
GET A BRA PUDGE-O

>>6575514

and join a gym. fuck those jelly rolls.

>>6575511
she even says shes*

>>6574594
side note, Fuck Yeah Magician Apprentice is a great novel.

good god this woman has one of the worst cases of chronic bitch-face I have ever seen.

>>6574914
yes

she is now part of the cgl royalty

quickly someone add her to this

>>6575759
you dont have a life do you.

>>6575775
0/10

How does one let their wigs get into such horrible condition?
It looks like she hasn't even attempted to untangle them, but maybe she thinks that is what hair is supposed to look like, looking at her natural hair and all