/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

I meant 'and isn't dating anyone else in the comm.'

We screen members. No fashion, no membership. Keeps out creepers and armchair Lolitas both. And Furries, and fetishists, and, and...

>guys hitting on you in lolita

Tbh I get hit on less in it.

>>7455067
Lolita is a literal cock block

>>7455060
I don't think they get accepted to the page unless there's a connection--like they're a boyfriend/husband or really good friend of some of the lolitas. Lone dudes get accepted I think if they are brolitas or wear similar clothing, I think?

It's nice--to be honest, I would be more than wary of a random guy interested in the comm--guys hitting on or harassing me in lolita I can handle, but there are enough underage girls that it'd be a concern.

>>7455070
>mfw petticoats are literal cock blocks

>>7455071
They honestly shouldn't, what's the point of them adding false numbers to the group?

>>7455075
Lolita fashion is 98% effective against pregnancy

>>7455076
>they
You mean boyfriends/husbands?
Sorry anon I think I need some sleep

>>7455084
Yes, boyfriends/husbands/onlookers who don't participate in the fashion
Rest well anon

>>7455075
I'm kind of glad. I get hit on more in regular ol' jeans and t-shirt then in lolita. I really don't mind people asking me questions in lolita, because you know, it's attention drawing clothing. It's annoying as fuck being creeped on by some dude who can't take no for an answer when I'm just trying to buy some damn toothache medicine for my husband.

Mini story
> arrive at a Japanese trinket store for a meet, only a few girls there initially
> they see me walk in initially, look, and then go back to browsing as though i wasn't there
> well then
> they eventually leave the store to go get drinks, I sort of follow them to the tea place
> sitting down with them as they drijk, saving room for meal after
> total creep guy comes and sits next to one of said girls who ignored me
> Proceeds to hit on her in a way that is clearly bothering her, probably for a total of ten minutes
> I'm sitting next to her and contemplate helping her
> nah, fuck her for ignoring me, she had it coming

She ended up giving him her phone number so he would leave her alone. I sat and watched the whole thing. None of her friends did anything either. Too bad she pissed me off or I might have helped her.

>>7455067
I've had a guy hit on me in a very toned down dark classic coord, he was saying it was hot. I found it really bizarre?

>>7455087
Perhaps so they can click attending for meets. In my comm girls bring partners semi often.

My comm requires everyone who wants to join to send in a picture of them wearing lolita or something lolita-related. It doesn't keep out the annoying boyfriends or dudes who spot us in the park and decide to hang around, but at least it's something. I do wish my comm was stricter on sissies and other fetishists, though. The reason they're not improving isn't because they need more guidance but because they don't want to be good brolitas in the first place. Why would they, when they can just as easily get their jollies in their mother's old dresses and Party City wig? Ugh.

>>7455091
Same. I still get creeps in lolita but they're more like creep-creeps who everyone agrees are creepy, you know? The men who bother me when I'm in regular/lazy clothing are just "regular red-blooded men who appreciate good-looking women gosh you should be flattered you're not that hot anyway sheesh" types who every woman gets from tome to time and other dudes are quick to defend. They're less common than the lolita creepsters but 10x harder to get rid of.

>>7455332
Yeah, and it's always in the most awkward places. I really don't think the dentalcare aisle at Walgreens or personal hygiene aisle at Dollartree are decent places to get a date.

>men at Cons

ALL GAY

>>7455091
Am I the only one who never gets hit on? I've had friends get crushes on me several times, but I don't seem to appeal to randoms. Probably helps that I never really go out aside from to uni.

>>7455369
I'm the same, anon, I almost never get hit on randomly. Maybe we live in an area that doesn't have many random flirtings.

>>7455374
I only get hit on at work lol

anon-kun here.
I would totally hit on lolita girls.
If I had any in my country.
But then again would feel under-dressed the entire time. The fashion is important (for the comm) and I wouldn't want to be in a comm if I didn't know shit what the whole comm is about.

I am typically ignored by men when I wear Lolita. Women really respond well to Classic or Sweet coords. I always get compliments from women when I wear Lolita but the cutesy stuff really gets attention. Men only seem to ever respond if I’m wearing gothic Lolita. Anything else and I’m utterly ignored by men.
However, I find it really cute how my SO has seemed to get really fixated on me wearing the clothing. On regular days around the house we cuddle and spoon. But the days we attend meetups he almost always wants to have sex afterwards. I think it’s a combination of me semi ignoring him and him watching me flounce around in public? I have no idea what causes it… but I’m not complaining.

>>7455332
this is funny because this is almost the exact opposite of my experience. the guys who hit on me in normal clothes are the least annoying. I just drop a couple of hints about 'my boyfriend' and they get the message, and move on. But the guys who hit on me just because I'm wearing lolita are fucking *persistent*. I guess because seeing IRL lolitas is pretty rare, most of them go after girls like we're Moby Dick to their Captain Ahab. I've had this one guy semi-stalk me at cons for something like three years now? and on a previous occasion, someone saw me at a public meet--never actually went over and chatted me up, or asked my name, but instead searched Facebook until they could start up a conversation and try to date me over the internet. there's also another lolita in our comm who has a mile-long list of stalker-ish ex-boyfriends, who will literally show up at events just to try to hang out with her again.

I'm a guy and not "into" the fashion, but I went to a meetup with my sister (who is) because she didn't wanna fly solo (also there was food). I ended up making friends with a bunch of lolis and it's possible at this point I've been to more meets than she has.

Prolly helps that I'm not creeping on anyone or fetishizing the outfit. We did have to send a weirdo packing once.

>>7455302
>I found it really bizarre?

That's a statement, so why did you add a question mark?

these threads are seriously just as bad for guys because it's cringy for me to even think I might do any of these

>>7455618
>I've had this one guy semi-stalk me
>stalker-ish ex-boyfriends
Dude they're either stalkers or they're not, stop misusing this word. I can't stand it when some girl runs into the same guy a couple of times at a con "OMG I totally have a stalker! So creepy, tee-hee!" no, just no. You don't have a stalker, you're just a twat who wants to feel special.

>>7455672
can you not

>>7455672
I didn't mean to sorry I was typing on my phone earlier and hit the wrong button.

>>7455706
I hate it when people use their phone as an excuse. Just own up to your mistakes.

>>7455718
I was on my phone, I don't have internet access at home and that is where I was when I originally commented on the thread a few hours ago.

>>7455676
If you're at least aware of it then it's much more likely that you're not a creep. The creepiest guys I know always insist that there is no way they could ever be making anyone uncomfortable and everyone is just overreacting.

>>7455060
You kick him out? He obviously has no reason to be there besides trying to date the girls in the community.

>>7455725
don't reply to them

they can't see past an accidental ?

>>7455718
Why are you so angry! You should really chill~

>>7455718
u ok anon

>>7455332
>I do wish my comm was stricter on sissies and other fetishists, though. T
I was gonna say. I'm super feminine I could probably send a picture in a lolita dress and get in but I don't think that's as intended.

What do you girls think of males who are interested in the fashion though?
I ask because I have been in my local comm for over a year now and own maybe 10 brand pieces which I wear to meets often.
But being the only male in the comm I get really self conscious about not fitting and just generally people wanting me out of the comm.

>>7455868
If you have brand and a cute blog, I can't see why you wouldn't fit in.
Keep your blog 100% non sexual and make sure you're always clean if not well groomed.

>>7455091
I get hit on all the time. It doesn't matter where you are. You're acting like its a significant thing that you were hit on in the toothache aisle.
I've been hit on directly after leaving a restroom from taking a dump. That was my least favorite time.

I was at a meet once in a mall. We had walked around and were in the food court for a meal. I'm one of the older girls in my com. This kid just comes over and sits at our table. He starts out with the basic, why are you wearing this questions, but he hangs around way too long. I can tell the other girls are uncomfortable, he's obviously hitting on one of the younger ones but they have no idea what yo do so I just go full bitch mode and ask him why he thought he could just sit at our table without even asking. He got flustered and just left.

I felt sorry for the other girls, they just wanted to be polite but fuck that noise, I'm not spending lunch watching some 17 year old try to scam on chicks.

My comm has "Melissa". We are really accepting of guys who are into the fashion, but damn, that dude is still creepy.

Aside from everyone's bored boyfriends in shirts and jeans and the occasional well-dressed dandy, there's ALWAYS a weird dude - bonus points for a tophat, a cane and a suit that doesn't fit him at all - that doesn't speak to anyone, gets super awkward when someone tries to initiate a conversation and looks pretty gross/neckbeardy.

>>7455884
You did the right thing. I can't stand "oh noez I have to be nice to this rude as fuck stranger, even if I'm beyong uncomfortable/scared" people. Fucking social conditioning

>>7455884
can you elaborate more on what he did? maybe I'm seeing it from the wrong point of view but what were the signs he was a little sour?

>>7455888
I always see mostly happy boyfriends in my comm.

>>7455901
seriously...?

are you that friend that always needs someone to shoo away the creeps

>>7455066

More comms need to do this.

There's another guy in my comm who wears shitty EGA stuff, but i'm the only one who wears lolita. I wear lots of Dear Celine and Surface spell because brand aint gonna happen on theses shoulders. But 90% of my comm wears BL and special snowflake handmade SKs, so it puts me pretty high on the food chain.

>>7455906
no, but maybe I literally forgot things in the post as I read it

I might just be seeing it as some friendly guy interested in what they're doing, and that doesn't seem so bad. probably unlikely that's how he was though.

>>7455883

He's ruining all of our group photos.

>>7455883
who/what is "Melissa"?

>>7455901
Well they said he came over and SAT at their table. Sitting yourself down at a strangers' table, interrupting their conversation, and hitting on one of them is really. Dang. Rude.

>>7455901
I don't remember what he said, I remember 3 very uncomfortable girls who were quietly answering his barrage of questions with the shortest answers possible. Young girls who were obviously not used to being hit on and had no idea how to make it stop. They all thanked me once he had left.

Not to mention its rude as fuck to sit down at a table with strangers without asking for permission.

>>7455951
oh okay! for some reason I thought it was something different. like he was at a nearby table and was just curious.

I didn't see it as something intrusive or annoying like it makes sense to be now

>>7455954
maybe next time you should pay more attention

>this kid just comes over and sits at our table

>>7455681
They say semi-stalker because the dude isnt full on going to their house/hotel room and like digging through their trash to find a used tissue or constantly being where they are whether it be online, or offline like, you know, a stalker.

But they are following them everywhere, timing themselves to be right next to them at every event/panel, and generally being shoved up their frills.

Source: I've had both happen and while they're both stalkers in a sense, one is clearly less so than another.

>>7455953
yeah yeah I get that. short answers and obvious discomfort should have made him hop off, not including starting off wrong by just going over and sitting somewhere he didn't belong.

how could be have gone about it better? as someone who considers himself to handle himself well, I wouldn't mind if I was allowed to be curious someday if I saw a comm. together.

>>7455962
I will next time. maybe I just imagined it as something different.

>>7455914
what are your measurements? most shirred brand jsks are pretty forgiving on shoulders

>>7455949

Tranny on the right.

>That's "Melissa," aka Sissybro. He shows up at EVERY SF meetup looking like a hot tranny mess, and despite encouragement and help from sympathetic people, he never, ever improves.

>He buys brand (probably so he can attend brand events, as well as a means of being accepted as a "real" lolita), but it doesn't fit him, he has no clue how to coord anything, his hair's gross, and when he does wear makeup it's so bad it's just better that he not wear it at all.

>>7455949
a sissy and a conspiracy theorist who threw a shitfit about not being accepted into Baby's fashion contest at J-Pop summit and also threatened to beat up a girl in the comm

>>7455060
>complains about neckbeards hitting on them when they are the only people in your league

ya ok

>>7455971
Eww

he seriously just reeks of creep, looks greasy, and even makes a very ugly man let alone a woman

I don't know why ugly older men get the idea it's acceptable to do that. I guess it's just to stick around Lolita girls

>>7455971
Jewel Ribbon girl looks so thrilled, lol.
Is that nipple-chan next to melissa?

>>7455971
That poor girl on the left.
>don't laugh, send help

>>7455991
>nipple-chan
Ok, now I need to know about that as well

>>7455971
Holy shit
Based on what >>7455976 said
Why isn't he gone/kicked out of the comm yet? I can't imagine anyone is comfortable with him.
Also is this from the SF comm? I'm just getting into lolita and might someday consider coming out of my room and trying a comm around here

>>7455976

Who's the girl he threatened to beat up?

>>7455991
Yup, and to the left of her is creeper Phil who got kicked out of Baby store, and to the left of him is Tiferet. So yeah, you should feel even more sorry for the two normal girls.

>>7455999

She wore a dress with strawberry pattern showing through her cardigan and someone made a secret that it looked like a nipple. She threw a fit over it bitching about how she used to be a former model and everyone else are anorexic basic bitches.

>>7455128
everybody in this story is weird

>>7456010
Thanks for clearing that up, that must suck to get old and be on the same level as the hons around you though...

I'd never date a guy who was into lolita. It's creepy as fuck.

I'm so glad my boyfriend just stays inside watching anime or playing vidya when I attend meetings.

>>7456010
Why are there so many lulcows in one photo? Do they all get shoved to one table? Or do not a lot of good lolitas go to the main comm meets anymore because of all of them?

>>7456026

They usually sit together, no one else except new people wanna sit with them.

>>7455060
There's a couple of these in my comm, though by this point I can see they've made good friends with other members. They've been in the comm longer than I have so I don't know how they got into it! They're harmless but I find it slightly odd.

>>7455883

As a brolita who wants to join the SF comm should I have anything to worry about with Melissa?

>>7455895
>Fucking social conditioning
Uh? If social conditioning was working fully then that asshole wouldn't have sat down rudely to begin with.
Seriously I wish the whole world would just get some manners.

>>7456104
you don't know what that means do you

>>7455579
>I think it’s a combination of me semi ignoring him and him watching me flounce around in public? I have no idea what causes it… but I’m not complaining.

I feel like this is probably it. I don't pay attention to mine much either on days that I go to meets.

>>7455964
ask if you can join first off. If I remember correctly he went very quickly from asking about clothes to just talking about how cute the girls were. Focus on the clothing and ask about the fashion. Be genuinely interested in that. Also dont try to be cute and ask if everyone is in a play or lil no peep or whatever.

>>7456182
>haha hey I think you guys lost your sheep
>hahaha hey guys what's up why are you all turning away
>why doesn't anyone make eye contact with me
>maybe this fedora wasn't the right one
>ill fit in if I go male lolita

>>7455332
The ones who don't want to be good brolitas in the first place also peeve me, and make me uncomfortable. It's a shame for the brolitas who really love the fashion when the former type get them a bad reputation.

>>7456076
Probably not, just avoid him. The comm is welcoming if you're into it for the fashion and not a total creep.

>>7455880
>I've been hit on directly after leaving a restroom from taking a dump.
Some guys are into that, you know. Chocolate love.

>>7456025
...are you lolita? Why are you dating your bf then?

>>7456025

That says a huge amount you if you think guys into lolita are creepy. And then wear it yourself.

>>7456378
she means lolita fashion numb nuts. She doesn't want a guy who is into the fashion. She wants a guy who thinks she puts on weird clothes and hangs out every once in a while.

I get it, you want a guy who isn't fetishizing it.

>>7455971
The girl in black looks delighted with herself.

>"I'm sitting the furthest away from him!!!"

Not one guy has hit on me since I've started wearing lolita.
Girls, on the other hand...

>>7456674
Elaborate, please.
Like, other girls in lolita, or just random girls?

>>7456735
I'm guessing other lolitas.

>>7455775
lol even masculine looking girls get in theres no problem with that

>>7455868
just be like one of the girls and you'll fit in. which isnt hard, since being a girl in 2014 isnt just about being prissy.

>>7455951
Because of work and crowds I do this all the time now without even thinking about it.

Now I feel creepy.

Thanks anons.

>>7456674
Same.
Not that I mind at all, but I cant reciprocate!

>>7456493
>She wants a guy who thinks she puts on weird clothes and hangs out every once in a while.
So a really shitty boyfriend? Shouldn't there be love and commitment in a relationship and not "let's talk every two days". And both partners should be supportive of each other's interests.

>>7455951
is it one of those big tables or like one the size of a mcdonalds table coz

>>7455362
go away /fit/

>>7456393
I don't think lolita is for men.

>>7456776
>So a really shitty boyfriend?
Nope. I just don't want him to be into lolita. I share countless hobbies with my boyfriend and he supports my interest for lolita, he's just not into it.

>>7456378
>>7456393
I read it as "don't want someone who is as into it as I am/don't want to date a brolita" as opposed to "actively hates the fashion and finds it totally weird". I'd find it odd if my boy got as excited about new releases as I do; he's not the one wearing it. I expect him to understand why I'm excited, and possibly give an opinion on what cut/colourway he likes best. I'm sure he wouldn't mind accompanying me to a meet but he doesn't exactly share a common fashion interest.

It's the same reason I don't get excited about dota 2 and don't go to his gamer friends' LAN parties. I understand the basics of it and appreciate some of the strategy, but I don't play it at all so my interest is based solely on the fact that it's an interest of his.

>>7456795
>berating them using the term gay
>/fit/
pick one

N-no homo

>>7456853
Obligatory.

>>7455971
Wait, it sounds like Melissa is a fetishist but what harm is he causing if all he wants to do is dress lolita? If he's creeping then yeah, sounds awk, but if he's buying burando he must be serioues on some level

>>7456831
>mfw i like both
>mfw i will never have a stoner lolita friend to play doto with
>mfw we will never grow to be the first lolitas in the pro scene to stomp the male-dominated area
>mfw i have no images saved on this laptop

>>7456900
>mfw i am a stoner lolita who will play any game while stoned

maybe we can work something out here, anon

>>7456900
>>mfw we will never grow to be the first lolitas in the pro scene to stomp the male-dominated area
Shit I'd pay good money to watch five girls in lolita dresses beat professional dota team in a televised match. Teabagging doesn't compare.

>>7456674
maybe i should start wearing lolita, idek how to get girls to hit on me

i am just so shy and so bi but i get the feeling girls just aren't attracted to me.

>>7456900
Just don't do like the Sirens did for LoL, Doter deserves better.
Hnngh, I'm going to look at teams and imagine the sponsored coords that could happen.

>>7456926
I'm a little iffy on all-girl teams because i think the scene really lacks co-ed teams(examples being like the Na'Vi all girls team) and there are plenty of spergs who need to learn that girls are people and not non-existent fantasies/nightmares
But for the sake of GURL POWER an all-loli team would be so great
>>7456925
What area are you around anon? :3
if you give me your steam I'll add you later, even if you don't want to play dota we can play l4d2, tf2, or portal 2 (still haven't played the co-op)

>it's the end of the meet and I'm shopping around the tea shop
>super attractive guy that works there starts talking to me about products, not a big deal
>then gets more personal about my lolita
>"I really hope that's your natural hair color", "Where did you buy your shoes" etc.
>Start talking about dnd and he invites me to a game.
>puts number in bag that I bought my tea in
>never texted him

I don't know why I didn't, maybe because I think it's a little weird that he was hitting on me in lolita? Well he works at the tea place we go to all the time.....eh, hopefully I don't see him

>>7456948
>sirens

Yeah, pretty much this. All girl teams aren't really taken seriously when presented in that context, they're more of some kind of sexy novelty. I don't like that!!

>>7456948
>>7456965
So like the PMSClan was for CS?

>>7456945
Yeah, it still really annoys me that there are female only leagues for e-sports. It's one thing to have those in real sports but in e-sports where it's all about intelligence and finger dexterity, women are in no way weaker than men in that aspect, hell, there are studies that suggest that women are better than men in such areas (dexterity, hand eye coordination).

>>7456970
>>7456969

Man, I like you guys.
Yeah, it's just ridiculous that the genders remain split in a game that has nothing to do with gender. I'm so happy to have found likeminded individuals in the hole that is 4chan

>>7456970
it might be because they're seen as jokes or "hey look guys we're an exception!" they're probably paid to advertise themselves as that, if they need to.

not that i endorse or agree with it.

>>7456969
Hah!
I had a friend who joined the PMSClan. It was sad when all her facebook pics turned into her trying to pose sexily with her game controller in her mouth.

>>7455971
I want more of this. More pics of him please.

>>7457011
oh....oh no.........

>>7457011
...pics?

>>7456885
He stares at some girls and make them feel uncomfortable. He is embarrassing to be around. Then he threatened to beat a girl up for not high-fiving him at J-pop summit.

>>7457053
>Then he threatened to beat a girl up for not high-fiving him at J-pop summit.
okay whut

Maybe he's just not all there mentally. I'm very torn on this subject because I don't like the idea of certain personality type being excluded from lolita when lolita is such a wonderful feminine thing, but that last one there really weirds me out
So no one answered me before, is he still in the comm?

>>7457042
I can't find any of them except for this one at the moment. This was all back in 2009ish. She's gained weight and I think gotten married since then, or has a fiance. Image name is her name in the clan.

>>7457075
But yeah, after joining the clan (although she was promiscuous already), she let the 'gamer girl' glorification go to her head, and screwed a bunch of guys on a trip, cheating on her bf at the time.

>>7457075
those sad eyes
that uncomfortable hand in pocket

>>7457075

>>7457075
Her on far right present day.

>>7457082
After years of aspie rage I have learned there is no reason to be upset at "gurl gamerz" but I still can't help cringing at shit like this

I have a gurl gamer in my area who takes nintendo themed pictures and actually does seem to live/breathe nintendo (pleb taste) but I can't help imagining what it may be like when that identity she's built up to keep herself safe falls through

>>7457099
it would seem she's going through menopwns now

>>7457101
aw man my poor spoiler

>>7456003
I think he's gotten the message a little, because I've seen him at less meets, so actually, it's not that difficult to avoid the meets he goes to. The majority of these people in the pic are the lulcows of the comm (on the right, at least) so please don't think they represent how the SF comm actually looks!

>>7457101
oh god

I just snorted sprite out of my nose.
Well played.

>>7456005
Shaf. Who probably actually could beat him up if they got in a fight, honestly.

>>7457109
Would it be weird for me to join the SF comm group on facebook with the intention of lurking until I've built my powerlevel/confidence up enough to go to a meet?

>>7457127
I'm fairly sure that's what lots of people do, actually, so no, it's not weird at all. It's a fairly large comm, and the main one will pretty much accept everyone.

>>7457132
Thanks anon! I guess I'll work from there then.

>>7457136
This is pretty normal and a good way to ease into it, I hope you get the courage you need soon!

>>7456885
There was a btb secret a while back about him taking pictures of girls wearing lolita and writing fetish stories about them to post on some brolita/sissy fetish facebook group. They had a screencap of his posting.

I want a cute lolita friend to gossip with.

>>7457186
ugh
I hope they dropped the fucking ban hammer.
What a freako

>>7457194
There's two facebook groups for the SF comm and he's banned from one of them. The other one just accepts everyone unfortunately.

>>7455066
>>7455912
I think more groups will have basic membership requirements as more creepers, furries, sissies, fetishists, general onlookers etc. try to join comms. Lolita is not a democracy, comms are basically private fashion clubs and aren't required to accept everyone (or even anyone they don't want to).

Most are still open membership but I know of at least a couple of groups who now require prospective members to submit a photo of themselves in a Lolita coord when they ask to join. That eliminates a lot of potential problems right there and I think it is a good idea. I would have no problem saying no to someone who is not a good fit with the group or telling Armchair Lolitas to reapply once they get their first coordinate together. Some comms aren't beginner-friendly if you don't already dress in Lolita.

Even in open groups, we are seeing more private meets, subgroups (some are secret) and other ways of avoiding inviting certain people to meetups. I know this upsets a lot of people but it's just going to happen if the comm lets anyone join.

>>7455868
That's the breaks. A lot of people aren't accepting of brolitas. Even if they tolerate them. Some conservative comms and groups don't accept them as members.

>>7456499
She shouldn't be too complacent, she's still sitting next to Tiferet. This must be the bottom tier table, jfc.

>>7456776
UH, why does her going out with friends once in a while make him a shitty boyfriend? It makes him a pretty good one, not feeling like he needs to cling to her in all of her social interactions. You can support someone's interests without being into them. You can not get why someone likes something, as long as you let them do their thing. It sounds like you have a very naive idea of what makes a strong functional relationship

Haha, oh man. This thread is pretty good. I'm not a brolita but into the fashion and cross dress. Even if I did Lolita, threads like these would detour me from it.

>>7457209

>Even in open groups, we are seeing more private meets, subgroups (some are secret) and other ways of avoiding inviting certain people to meetups. I know this upsets a lot of people but it's just going to happen if the comm lets anyone join.

THIS.

I have been an active part of 2 large comms in 2 major cities over the past three years. And in both cases the "be friendly let anyone join on facebook" attitude seemed to encourage the creation of cliques, private facebook groups, and private invite only meet ups.

When the facebook page is overrun by cringe worthy noob posts or the same questions over and over agin that could have been answered by google from bystanders who don't even own a damn petticoat people respond by create private groups. And the groups aren't even necessarily malicious or gossipy. A lot of the time the more seasoned members just want a place where they can discuss upcoming releases, blogs and shopping tips in peace.

Same goes for meetups. Open membership makes planning meetups a shit show. Besides creepers who don't get banned and general make things uncomfortable - with open membership you get overloaded with bystanders who, for whatever reason - age, school, whatever - don't have the means to fully participate in the hobby yet. These people rarely come to any actual meetups, but are extremely vocal about how each meetup suggestion is out of their price range or too far away. As a result the comm splinters off into smaller private groups where people can propose ideas for going to a teahouse, a ballet, a wine tasting etc without being vetoed by strangers who never show up or subject to invasive creepers who ruin everyone's fun.

And it sucks, because secret groups and private meets make it really hard to reach out and engage with fun enthusiastic new members who would be a genuinely great addition to the community.

It may seem counterintuitive, but being more strict about membership and posting really keeps the cliques at bay.

I'm not sure how the 'let anyone join' idea took hold but it's a bad one for many reasons. Certainly it lets creepers in, but it causes other problems too. Joe average men in the comm, (including boyfriends) aren't really acceptable unless they dress Aristo, Ouji or in formal dress. Just don't let them join. I hate seeing boyfriends get allowed along if dressed casually. Dress up or GTFO. Don't like men's J-fashion? Wear a suit.

Lolita fashion is a primarily female interest with a fairly narrow focus and groups hold meets based on a very specific dress code.

I'm for sticking to and upholding that.
No clothes, no Lolita group/meet invite.

Brolitas are kind of a grey area. Rare are those who pass and are really similar to the other Lolitas in intent and so many are hot messes trying to be edgy, cross dressers looking for a haven or men otherwise fetishizing the fashion. (It's ok if that's their thing but regular Lolita fashion meet groups do NOT need to include or accept them!) I truly wonder if it's fear of not being PC that makes people accept the latter except as an occasional joke dress up shenanigan. (Think Elliot in 'shit Lolitas say'). Open, public cross-dressing is still not socially acceptable in many places, and pretending otherwise is naive. It's not where I live and we wouldn't accept a crossdresser in our group, the objectives are too different. It's been discussed.

Tl;Dr: opinion post--men rarely belong in Lolita groups and then only certain kinds.

>>7457418

It's hard to tell who's a creep and who's not from just a photo ya know? There are several other brolitas in SF who are all well-dressed, well-mannered, and likable in general.

>>7457452
As a brolita, I'd say a one-on-one interview with a mod. Or mods, like a job interview. Meet at a cafe in full lolita. That way, they can judge your style.

>>7457452
Very true, but having rules and requirements culls the worst and lets the other prospectives know that the group has standards to meet so that eliminates another tier of undesirables too. The rest is easier to sort on an individual basis. I'm betting that those good SF brolitas also don't appreciate the other not-so-good kind either.

>>7457457
I'm very glad to see a brolita post this, frankly. I'm sure it's harder for a good brolita to be taken seriously at first with the kind of things people see as 'brolita' in some places.

You'll never find a good, white bf/husband while practicing this degeneracy

M'Lady

>>7457475
>>/r9k/
back from whenc you came, foul spirit

>>7457495
>white
He's clearly /pol/tard.

>>7457463
Is lolita the only subculture where man are actually discriminated against? Usually it's the other way around..

>>7457796
It's not a subculture, it's a fashion. And it isn't discrimination, it's snobbery. Most (but not all) brolitas look like a pig in a wig.

>>7456782
it was a big table, but we took up the whole thing. Even in that situation it is still rude to sit without first asking if the seat is taken.

>>7457796
it's not discrimination, it's safety
have you not read all the stories of absolute creepers who show up to this thing or...???

>group of teen girls
>adult male tags along
>nothing can go wrong

>>7457887
You are literally the misandryst of my dreams. Wanna marry me?

>>7457065
He is still in the comm and it was more than just she wouldnt high five him but idk the whole story

>>7457909
let's do it, anon~

So should guys just ignore girls in Loli and never hit on them?

>tfw no qt loli gf

>>7458192
>So should guys just ignore girls in Loli and never hit on them?
I don't mind being hit on but don't be sad if you are turned down, a lot of lolis have boyfriends and stuff

>>7458192
just don't be a douchebag? is that hard to understand?

>>7458192
If men catcall or hit on me when I'm in Lolita I want to destroy them tbh.

>>7458196
Apparently.

>>7456900
I'm a Dota broli, but i'd really love to see an all girl lolita dressed team, even just for streaming, that would be amazing


All the Dota girls I know do lolita (and sometimes cosplay as well). Where all the LoL girls I know only do cosplay... is it a quality/snobiness thing? I hope so

>>7458196

Serious question, what do you consider douchebaggery?

>>7458202
Read the atmosphere and quickly register when you and your attention are no longer wanted. Then politely remove yourself.

>>7458204
Just to clarify, those are instructions on how NOT to be a douchebag.

>>7458204
yup, that's pretty much all it takes to not be a douche

>>7458204
shit that's the most frustrating thing

it's so glaringly obvious when you've lost someone's attention and it's easy enough to just remove yourself

you gotta be a serious dolt to just "hey these lolita girls still like me! I'll keep asking questions!"

>>7458192
Dude, read the thread. No one's saying you should ignore hem or not hit on them if that's what you're into, but there's advice on approaching the RIGHT WAY

Someone mentioned cgl on fit. I forgot you bitches existed. Fucking sad landwhales dressing as chinese cartoons, how fucking sad

>>7458171
Well, I think she and her girlfriend were really obvious before that about how they didn't like them (which most people don't, they just pretend they do), so it might have been building up before that. But that's what had literally happened at the fashion show; they got off stage, he was all hi five! and they walked right past him. So he screamed at her that she was a fucking whore.

Hey you sexy ladies. What's happening??

Typical, grown women want to be princesses.

>>7458501
Grown women want to be treated with dignity and respect.

>>7458514
And we also want to be princesses on top of that. Because why the hell not.

>>7458501
And there is a problem with this why?

>>7458260
Men generally aren't very good with picking up on social cues.

>>7458514
I'm hoping you meant in addition to wanting to look like a princess

no reason not to chase what you enjoy

>>7458729
well as a guy I've had a lot of very face to face jobs so when either customer satisfaction or a less than favorable situation will happen, you learn quick to make every experience one that isn't uncomfortable

you learn fast what people want

>>7458738
Or you just learn to relish in the awkwardness when someone's pissed off at you for one reason or another. It's an acquired taste for sure.

>>7458729
stop projecting

>>7458729
>Antisocial spergs aren't very good with picking up on social cues.

FIFY

As someone who's just experienced a varatible con horror story I can safely say it's not just men.

>>7458731
Not getting that there is no dignity or respect implied in 'chasing' what you 'enjoy'
Ugh
Another reason we keep men at bay.

>>7458856
Troll, you gotta leave. Get a hobby. No one is going to hate men with you on here, we're not tumblr and most of us aren't clinically retarded.

>>7458824
It doesn't matter if it hurts your feelings, it's still true

>>7458815
This is horrid, and why I step in and give people like you the boot in any group right away the minute I spot this crap. There shouldn't be any relishing of someone's uncomfortable awkwardness going on. I don't find it amusing to deal with your kind of socially backward passive-aggressive nonsense at all. Straight to the curb.

>>7458729
Neither are women. Shut the fuck up during the superbowl. And stop saying you like nintendo games just because you want to talk to a guy.

>>7458859
It's not a troll comment and I don't hate men. When I'm at a fashion meet, if a man acts like he's there to chase women or hit on Lolitas, he should be shown the door. That's what the thread is about, men and their behavior at meets. Not talking about in the regular dating arena or on the street.

>>7458824
fuck i hate the double standard anons have with sex differences
>wimmen are so bad at logic haha
>emotional crybabies hehe
>what? you mean women also have a positive brain difference?
>you're just projecting!

>>7458896
Haha, that's funny. Smart women shop during the Super Bowl and buy their guy the latest Nintendo game as a foil for the $500 they just spent on burando. 'Hey hunny, look...I got you a game...'

>>7458896
>stop saying you like nintendo games just because you want to talk to a guy

This works like 99% of the time tho

While we're at it, pay for your own drinks and meals. And why don't YOU buy a round of drinks. Women think they get to be freeloaders just because they can control the very weak men they trash all the time.

>>7458928
>>7458912
>>7458907
>>7458906
>>7458897
>>7458896
>>7458873

This thread I don't even know anymore

>>7458897
hey hey

my comment about chasing was just meant for anyone to follow whatever their hobbies are

not men chasing women in lolita

>>7458928
Nah, you still have to do the funding because you usually want to date us more than we want yo date you. Dating a Lolita is not cheap. I need all my dolla dolla bills to stay looking good in burando. You wouldn't want me to have to downgrade to Bodyline now would you?

>>7458946
Wow, ok sorry. I misunderstood it then. My bad. The topic had shifted to men hitting on Lolita in public so I mistook what you were referring to. My bad.

>>7455718
She said sorry you stupid.

>>7458958
haha, oh no not at all.

>>7458875
Stay straight-laced, anon.

>>7455718
for u

>hitting on women dressed like adults in baby clothing.

Guy probably has a diaper fetish too. Avoid.

>>7459926
Gothic Lolita
Baby clothing
Huhuhu

>>7459013
>Implying there are women on the internet.

in little tokyo
compliment lolita on nice dress while walking around
cold as fuck shoulder
why are lolitas such cunts?
honestly

>>7459998
Sorry Anon, are you sure she heard you?
Some of us get pretty mean comments on the street so we end up ignoring everyone for our own wellbeings

>>7459940
Wow, are you a time traveller from 2004? Welcome... to the world of tomorrow!

>>7459998
That depends anon
Was she busy or did she look like she was in a hurry?
Or, on that day, how bad was your neckbeard and were you possibly wearing a fedora?

>>7460125
important questions, here

>>7460125
>m m lady quite a fine e evening want to come to my abode later tonight? my my parents are out
>no
>lolita are cunts

>>7457336
Uggghhh, This. So. Much.
I'm the mod of a smallish, but growing comm, and this is pretty much a summary of the issues we're facing now. We used to have a very inclusive, open-door policy towards membership, and let just about anyone join our FB group. Initially, it was great for growing the comm, and we got a really great core group going. Unfortunately, over time, that "we love everybody, let's all be friends" attitude let in some less than stellar members. In less than one year, our comm went from being really open and active to very closeted and seemingly dead, because most of our meetups became private and exclusionary. Our older, more reliable members couldn't deal with our more odious newbies, who made a shit show of our FB group and were downright rude and embarrassing at meetups. Eventually, our two worst offenders ceased to bother us, (one was banned for particularly egregious lapses in common sense and decency, and the other moved far away) but the sense of a fractured comm still remains. We still haven't been able to really break out of the cycle of posting meetups privately, and our comm still looks half-dead on the surface.

Nowadays, myself and the active mods try to be a little more discerning about who we let in, but one of our ex-mods who still has root admin powers on the page has a bad habit of still letting almost anyone in. In general, if there is some proof on their page that a girl is into Lolita or J-culture, they'll be admitted. Guys need to show definite proof of being a ouji/aristo/brolita before we let them in. Most male join requests are ignored because they usually seem like they're joining to creep.

>>7460550
>particularly egregious lapses in common sense and decency
oh you can't get away with just giving us that. deets, anon?

>>7459998
>>7460010
This
In my experience, 90% of the positive comments I get come from women in their mid 30's or 60's+. I tend to ignore any sounds I hear (especially since in this area we have some mentally ill homeless folks that'll scream "What are you looking at" if you glance at them talking to themselves), though if I happen to look up and see it isn't an older women, I won't ask them to repeat what they said. They might seem nice, but I don't want to risk a bad time. Especially if they look 25 or younger. I get the worst comments from them.

You kind of sound like a troll, but there are definitely people who think that if someone doesn't respond, they're a raging asshole. I don't really understand that. Why assume the worst when there are so many factors that could be at play? Maybe she's having a bad day and does't want to interact with strangers at that moment. Maybe she's incredibly shy. Or scared of people she doesn't know. Maybe she's so caught up in her own thoughts that she can't even process what you just said. Maybe she's deaf!
I can't even understand the worst case scenario. So is it that the assumption is that she sees the guy, makes assumptions based off of his appearance, and ignores him because she thinks he isn't worth her time? Or that he looks like a creep? Or that she hates men? That she's rude since she didn't say thank you? And that minor rude infraction means she's a terrible person? I don't get those things either.

It sounds like the same kind of person who gets personally offended when someone is being cautious with someone they don't know. "You won't take this drink because you didn't see the bartender pour it? Are you calling me a rapist???" "Why did you hesitate at the crosswalk when my truck rolled up quickly? Did you think that I was going to just run you over???" "What? You won't join me in my white van for some free candy? What do you think I am???"
Come on.

>>7460550
>our comm still looks half-dead on the surface.
I kind of wonder if you're talking about the comm I just joined. I've been a lone lolita for a long while and have been trying to pluck up the courage to go to a meet or two. But it doesn't seem like much happens at this comm, even though there are a good amount of members.

>>7459998
I don't talk to strangers on the street, period. It's not being cuntish, it's just a good safety precaution for women in a city.

>>7460812
a guy is not going to drag you into a coffee shop in a crowded street in the middle of the day and rape you based on whether you say "good morning" to him or not. You actually are just a cunt.

>>7460829
lol implying guys never follow girls anywhere when they've been rude to them

i had a guy try to hit on me in front of the store once. i was nice to him but just got out of the conversation and did my shopping and left. walking down the street back home, at least half a mile away, and the guy pulls up next to me asking if he can give me a ride, where am i going, etc. like that's not the creepiest thing in the fucking world? i was terrified that he'd keep showing up along my route somehow fucking twilight zone hitchhiker style.

tl;dr you never know. and yes, women have been raped or murdered for not going with their instincts and staying away from literally all strangers

>>7460843
So your genius plan to not get followed/raped by guys who are indignant that you're rude is to... just ignore them which most people consider to be rude
Fucking brilliant

>>7460849
It seems like we're fucked whatever we do. If we aren't nice to them, then they'll get angry and it'll be our fault we provoked them. If we ignore them, then it means we aren't nice so see #1. If we're ARE nice to them, then we encouraged the behaviour and it would be our fault.

>>7460401
I died.

>>7460849
Why is it such a big deal if a guy gets ignored? It's kind of rude, but not so rude to warrant the mad reactions it gets. I don't see why girls are supposed to treat a compliment from a random stranger as some sort of thoughtful, genuine gift.
The ignoring isn't just to prevent terrible crimes, it's also to prevent awkward situations. I've had several times where I thank someone for a compliment, and they take that as an invitation to start walking next to me to chat. I don't always feel like chatting.

>>7460849
no, i didn't ignore him. he said he thought he knew me from somewhere, i said i didn't think so (i never left my house but to go to school and errands). he goes on to say he's seen me at some university campus, i say no, sorry. then i say i have things to do, i have to go, and escaped the conversation. i just got out of talking to him for too long, not ignoring him.

but what i'm saying is - whatever you do, you're a target. it doesn't matter if you're nice, if you're rude, if you ignore someone or if you try to walk away.

>>7460900
yeah, this. you're fucked no matter what.

>>7460849
You can always stop being ugly so your compliments don't come off as creepy.

>>7460919
This. You need to get thicker skin if getting ignored by a complete stranger is hurting you. What the fuck are you even doing talking to someone that's on their way somewhere. Move, motherfucker. Maybe I don't get it because I'm from NY and ignoring some random stranger talking to you is expected (or at most dropping a "thanks" and walking on) but I can't imagine a charming conversation ensuing. We don't live in a movie, where complimenting someone's stuff will land you this life changing soulmate finding conversation/get you terrifically laid/. And it's cool, even GREAT to still want to talk and see what happens (a very real possibility is that you have a new friend/someone who MIGHT fuck you down the line MAYBE), but to be hurt so much that you're pissed you didn't get a response leads me to believe you had high/idiotic expectations for that one compliment and where it would take you.

>>7460932
haha, this is awesome.

i'm glad i'm not ugly.

>>7455128
You sure showed her

>>7455060
fags or trying to get into your lolita pantsu

/thread

>>7460829
No, it's not really a common practice where I live for strangers to just compliment women on the street. You must be American, I'm guessing? Even then, I doubt it's common in large cities. We hear from the time we can walk to kindergarten 'Don't speak to strangers'. That is in no way even rude.

One of the last meet ups I went to some random guy kept following us and asking us to take pictures with him so he can tell everyone we're his girlfriends.
We hastily told him no and started walking the fuck away. He actually grabbed my arm and I had to shake him off of me.

People are terrifying :/ I kinda hate dressing in lolita or any alt fashion in the city because I just have weird dudes sexually harassing me or grabbing me.
Just today some guy just couldn't go about his day without coming over to me and telling me he loved my pantyhose and that they were his ultimate fetish. :l

>>7455647
this is so close to the plot of oreimo

have fun marrying your sister

>>7462031

>>7460849
Yeah okay sorry you live in a shitty small town where everybody knows everybody enough to take a "you look good" without feeling creeped out.
If you live in a major city, you have to act "rude" for your own safety.

>>7460579
Ahaha, I'm a little afraid this'll give me away, but I'll share. Let's call our delinquent "S".
> S joined the comm through one of our active members, who had no idea how awful she really was
> S always came to meetups in bad cosplay wigs, cat ears, and never in real Lolita. Ever. This was okay at first, but after a few months, it got annoying.
> Her attempts at Lolita were half-assed at best, and generally consisted of a school girl suit from F+F that was usually worn with no blouse underneath (but the neck tie!), a too-short skirt, and no petti. Our attempts at giving advice were fruitless.
> Personality wise, S was dense as a brick, and only marginally smarter.
> S usually shat up our FB with the most inane and OT posts ever. She once posted a picture of a black cat on a black rug, because "Cats r Lolita, right guize?".
> S was always broke. Like, way too broke to be a Lolita. Had no means of investing in a wardrobe, or even paying her bill at a meetup.
> S made a habit of coming to meetups with little to no money on her, and other members had to routinely pick up her part of the bill to avoid embarrassment. She never paid people back for their generosity, and instead of ordering items that she could afford, usually ordered whatever she wanted, regardless of cost. We're a nice group, but not that nice. Her shit got old fast.
con'td below

>>7462167
2/2
> S went to school to work in the restaurant industry, and yet almost never tipped, with the excuse that she didn't have enough money. S also once paid a bill entirely in spare change.
> Meetup hosts began to dread hosting anything to do with money (even <$5 admission) because S would show up with nothing or beg.
> S also had no means of personal transportation, and instead of asking politely if she could carpool, she usually just assumed that someone would automatically pick her up. When she couldn't auto-obtain a ride, she'd beg for one, from anyone. S once made a girl come an hour out of her way to pick her sorry ass up for a meetup in another city about an hour and a half away. S never offered to pay for gas, either.
> After a small, informal outing to go thrift shopping, we popped into Burger King for some cheap ice cream and smoothies. When asked if S had enough money, S replied, "Do *you* have enough money??". S did not, in fact, have enough money on her debit card, and when her bill came a bit over, she actually went to the fsking manager of the store to "get it taken care of." Rest of comm present nearly died of embarrassment, because too broke for Burger King.
> Burger King was pretty much the last straw for most comm members. People began avoiding meetups to avoid S.
> After another month or two of S pissing off the whole comm, and generally being a rude, inconsiderate blight on the comm, we banned her on a 3/4 mod vote. The one mod that didn't vote for her ban has the patience of a saint.

After S's forcible departure, we strongly considered enacting a series of rules stipulating that members be able to pay for their own meetup attendance costs, and that individual members were required to make their own arrangements for transportation to meetups.
Sorry for derailing the thread a little with this sidebar, but this is basically what happens when someone joins a comm with no real interest in the fashion, or common decency.

>>7455060
You look like a "Colin."

>>7462182
Just...wow. You guys were a lot more patient with her than I would have been. A coord, a ride and event money should be a given, jfc.

>>7458514
> grown women want to be treated with dignity and respect

>>7462182
Holy heck.

I'm generally a little broke so I plan my monthly events pretty carefully and sometimes will go to meets with enough for transportation, the event, and then maybe $10 to spare. I know a few girls in my comm who are on a really tight budget as well.
but I've never heard of someone that entitled in this or any other niche hobby. What a dick.

>>7462182
holy god that is awful
i love when people think everybody else in the world is obligated to act like their parents

TOO BROKE FOR BURGER KING i mean i have been fucking broke in my day but that is a low i never achieved. wow.

>mfw i just want to be with one of you french girls ;_;

is it really that bad?

>>7462431
Yes, there is no hope.
>you will never have a qt3.14 loli gf

I'm curious to know if any comms have just decided to say 'no men allowed, period' in their comms or groups?

>>7465809
I don't know if any comms has that as a rule on their page, but I know of some comms that never accept requests to join from guys due to bad past experiences. I think it's a bit too far to completely ban men, but whatever. Most men who want to join are creeps anyways.

So any tips to be able to sneak my way into a Lolita comm? Don't like your nerdy dresses but alot of you chicks are fine as fuck so i gotta get me a piece of that, if ya know what I am saying.

>>7465895

>>7465895
We know what you're sayin' brah
But unless you're paying, lah
We won't take your bait.
We can see you're second rate
So sit home and masturbate.
All alone

Unless you got the burando
You can't be our husbando
So listen well my scurvy mate
It's guys like you that cause the hate.
It's just your sad and crappy fate
To be alone.

>>7465921
Ooh, that was actually really good anon.

>>7465921
A+

>>7465895
There are ways.
Express genuine interest in the fashion and let the girls play dress-up with you. You'll look dapper as fuck, if nothing else.

>>7465998

>>7456860
If this is true I will finally have a valid reason to not hate /pol/

>>7465921
Niiiiice~

>>7458501
The future princess IS a grown woman, ya retard.

Don't tell me you don't want a nice wardrobe and lifestyle, anon, because then you'd be lying.

Ignore the troll, you guys.

Seriously. Just ignore him.

>>7455884
I like you, marry me

>>7455991
What's the story on Creeper Phil?
Wow what a lovely bunch...

>>7455884
mai waifu

>>7467756
He was banned from the Baby store for creeping on employees and customers. At first, it started with him trying to give the employees expensive presents, but he started visiting way too often, pushing gifts on people who weren't comfortable accepting them, and bothering customers, often young ones. They then found out he was a doctor (foot doctor?) that stopped practicing because several patients had restraining orders against him, and they just weren't comfortable having him in the store scaring people. Also, goes to meets and takes pictures of everyone, and what the fuck happens to the pictures? He's allowed at AP meet because he's friends with Lynda, the owner of Harajuku Hearts.

>>7467781
Why does the comm let him stay? That sounds awful.

I'm so pissed off, I just noticed our ugly local brolita is going to a meet I'm planning to go to. Everything looked fine before that, no itas, nice well dressed people and now this freak is joining.

>>7455438

I share the same feel anon kun.

>>7456992

There is a reason why girls are kept out of teams in competitive gaming.

They attract drama like no tommorow. I mean sure guys do to, but if its a girl multiply that by 10. And they are a lot more prone to bitchfits that ruin a team.

Source? Played a game pretty competitively and we had girls on our team as well. They were pretty good, not the best of our players, but it was impossible to reason with them or to get them play together with guys in a normal fashion (and we almost fell apart as a guild because of them, then they got kicked out, and everything was golden).

Also to add to the thread a bit, what happened to victorian/aristocrat branches of loli? I never seem to see any of it anymore, and this was what actually got me interested in the fashion as a guy.

>>7461935

Ok, so don't compliment or talk to strangers on the street. Get it.

Then... don't try to pick up a girl at a con or a meet even if you kinda like her, because that is creepy, and not the right place for that.

So basicly the only chance you have might be i dunno, at a bar. At work or during uni/classes, where you are allowed to talk to strangers and hope they will be into the same thing you are?

I dunno, i think chatting someone up and showing interest at a meet should be ok as long as it was not your main objective to just go there to pick up chicks. Because that way you are at least sure you have certain similar interests.

>>7468502
I talk to people at a convention or other event, at meets, etc. but not just random people in the street. I meet people through friends mostly and I like that best.

I'm not saying some women aren't more outgoing because they are. I'm sure many will have a random conversation. But not all want to. I guess don't be surprised or assume someone is a bitch just because they won't stop in the street if you speak to them either? It may just not be their thing. That doesn't make them a cunt.

>>7468502
Don't talk to random people that have nothing in common with you, especially if it's solely to get their number/contact info because it's fucking creepy. It's not that hard. I don't understand how you have to be so entitled that you think any person owes you their time.

>>7455128
You didn't go up to them to inform them that you were also there for the meet and proceeded to follow them instead of actively making it clear you were walking with them as part of the meet.
You need to learn how to communicate and how to no be a creep.

>>7468823
*not

>>7461935
It is common practice for men to compliment pretty women on the street where I live, and it's not America. Women don't mind since only truly pretty women tend to get compliments.

We have one neckbeard that's super creepy and makes "Lolita" dresses. He's always offering to do photo shoots especially for his weird chinese resale lingerie shop... He constantly talks about how he has several near nude girls at his house for photo shoots. His FB profile doesn't contain one real picture of himself, but irl he's even more creepy and barely talks but is always taking pictures.

>>7468831
Where do you live? The only men who do that where I live (also not America) are creepy Moroccans and Turks, and while women usually smile awkwardly, we don't appreciate it at all. It always kind of seems like they want something from us and it's very unpleasant. When you don't reply, you're called a bitch.
I've also noticed it's more common with greasy Italians and Spaniards on my campus to blatantly hit on women who don't know how to deal with this sort of behaviour and just kind of let it happen. I wish they'd get the hint and stop it.

>>7468887
I did a stupid Disney college internship and I noticed that Spaniards and Russians were the creepiest out at the clubs of the area.

>>7467892
He pretty much doesn't go to meets besides the AP ones, and I think Fanime, so he's not really part of the community. Although, I have noticed that he's in the FB group and will oftentimes comment of lolitas' that I know status updates, so I'm not sure if they're FB friends with him because they don't know.

>>7468831
it's not common practice and no woman actually likes it. stop being a neckbeard and encouraging verbal harassment.

>>7468905
This. Get off your fedora-clad high horse, you fuck.

>>7468902

What the Christ is it with Japan related stuff and fat Asian male creeper permavirgins?

When I went to Japan Expo in Santa Clara (My only anime con so far) the place was infested with them!

>>7467781
>they then found out he was a doctor (foot doctor?) that stopped practicing because several patients had restraining orders against him

Sounds like he has a foot fetish.

Seriously, SF get your shit together and get rid of the undesirables.

>>7467781
>Lynda
Don't get me started...

>>7457011
I also had a friend who joined. She ditched lolita because none of her new friends were into it and it wasn't sexy. She stopped talking to everyone she use to know. Guess we weren't cool enough and didn't help her "gaming career".

>>7468831
it's harassment. don't do it, don't encourage it, don't "but this person who is also totally a girl told me it's okay so we're cool right??" anyone. Just.... don't. It's a really shitty thing to to and to defend.

>>7469458
It's not harassment.

>>7469478
Complimenting girls is not harassment. Complimenting girls and thinking that earns you the girl's attention/interest/phone number is harassment.

Just say she looks nice and walk away. Don't make girls feel uncomfortable for the sake of your own sad ego.

>>7469509
Why is it so hard for guys to understand what makes girls anxious or uncomfortable? Holy shit.

>>7469509
>Complimenting girls and thinking that earns you the girl's attention/interest/phone number is harassment.
No one ever said that.

>>7469512
>what makes girls anxious or uncomfortable
I hate when people say this, I don't find this kind of thing uncomfortable, and I don't want people to think I do.

>>7469509
shouting shit randomly in the street is harassment. no one wants to hear that. I got verbally harassed on the way home from the hospital after visiting my sick/dying grandmother, it took all my strength not to punch someone. It's not cool.

if you're at an area where people are socializing and you walk up to someone to talk to them like a human being, it's okay. Randomly shouting or cat calling in the streets at some poor woman is never fucking alright.

I honestly don't get all the fuss? I'm a girl and if someone genuinely compliments me on the street I always feel happy about and at least smile at the person. If you're an obvious creep about it, or saying it sarcastically, yeah, dick move, but I don't see what's wrong with telling someone they look nice.

>>7469593
This. I hate to think that this whole stupid idea that any one of the opposite sex talking to you is a creep/whore is making innocent compliments an issue. It's disgusting to think that people can twist shit up to make everything 100% creepy or rapey.

>>7469593
>>7469598
not everyone feels the same way you do. Rules to go by; if you don't know someone personally, don't shout random shit at them on the street. I'm sorry, but not everyone wants to hear that. Sometimes people are having a bad day. It's completely different when you're checking out at a clothing store cashier and make friendly talk, but talking to a stranger in the street screams 'i'm a social retard who doesn't know to make boundaries'

stop it. And saying 'i'm a girl' doesnt mean all girls are you.

>>7469593
I know you may not realize this, but people have different experiences/history than you. Congratulations. But as someone who has been sexually assaulted after being nice about a random's compliment, I don't really care to respond to people's compliments on the street. You like it? Good for you, but some of us feel very uncomfortable about it.

>>7469598
It's not about "twist[ing] shit up to make everything 100% creepy or rapey", it's about not being rude. I live in a city with a high crime rate. To me, a compliment could be a way to catch me off guard, and I'm not risking that.

>>7469602
>not everyone feels the same way you do.
>And saying 'i'm a girl' doesnt mean all girls are you.

You're right, but I can use the same argument you know? Not all girls are you either, but you're going to just argue your point because you don't understand that other people may feel differently. No one's feelings matter but yours.

>>7469602
That's not what I was implying at all. I'm just saying that I don't get where the mentality comes from that any kind of attention from a stranger is bad. Yeah, people have bad days, but isn't a random person coming up to you and saying "You look beautiful" more likely to cheer you up than bring you down?

>>7469607

I don't think you know what you're saying. You're saying it's okay because you like it, and you think other women are wrong because they're twisting things to be rapey. That anon is saying that it's better to not go up to strangers, and that's common fucking courtesy. Why the fuck is this so hard to understand.

>>7469609
Are you autistic?

>>7469609
No one said it was bad, but it is more often than not very uncomfortable. Especially if you have a history of dealing with street harassment, there is going to be a level of mistrust in random compliments. They may be sincere, and that would be great, but the world is not all sunshine and rainbows and we need to protect ourselves in case the person as an ulterior motive.

>>7469609
No. It's not. I was sexually assaulted as a kid and i do have issues with men and trust. I love my father, uncle and have many male friends, but it took a lot of time for me to move forward from my experieces. I don't want random guys coming up to me or shouting things at me. It doesn't make me feel good or comfortable. I don't understand why you dont get a lot of women just dont like it.

>>7469612
>it's better to not go up to strangers, and that's common fucking courtesy.
I got that, but the thing is, that's how people make friends. I wouldn't have many of my friends if strangers didn't come up to me and give me a compliment. It's just a bit sexist to me that women are innately creeped out when men do it, even though lesbians exist and can be just as creepy as pervs, but when someone innocently gives you a nice compliment, regardless of their sex, I think it's nice.

And I think the mentality that we 'shouldn't talk to strangers' as grown adults is just ridiculous and people need to get rid of it.

>>7469619
>we need to protect ourselves in case the person as an ulterior motive.
If there was an ulterior motive it wouldn't matter if you're receptive to their compliment or not.

>>7469598
This discussion started when a guy up there ^ said he complimented a lolita in the street, and called her a cunt for not responding.

No one said it was so terrible to give a compliment like that, just that many women (not all) will not respond for various valid reasons an that doesn't make them a cunt.

>>7469632
Most people make friends in social settings, not on the fucking street while passing by, jfc.

>>7469612
Do you always resort to insulting people when they bring up a reasonable argument?

>>7469619
I understand, but saying no one should ever approach a stranger because of this is just a little strange to me. I understand completely that you don't want to hang around and chat with the person in question, I even get it when you want to ignore the person, and they shouldn't get mad about it, but saying they outright shouldn't do it ever because it makes some people uncomfortable... I think it's a little extreme. There's plenty of people who don't feel this way.

>>7469632
>dont go up to people on the street randomly
>dont go up to people on the street randomly
are you actually a moron? It's not that hard to make friends. You don't make friends by shouting things at strangers on the street who don't know you. You can attend cons or other social gathering. Stop being an apsie.

>>7469632
you met your friends on the street? you became friends because they assessed your appearance while you were out on errands? or are you talking about being in a social location like a party, hobby store, or convention?

>>7469643
Good for you then? I live in a city and it's easy to make friends when you are hanging out walking around. I don't make friends in a mall. Also you totally missed my point.
>>7469642
>You don't make friends by shouting things at strangers on the street who don't know you
>shouting
Who said shouting? Only you did, I've made friends with people who came up to me and complimented my outfit when I was out walking with friends. What's so hard to believe.

>>7469632
>And I think the mentality that we 'shouldn't talk to strangers' as grown adults is just ridiculous and people need to get rid of it.
That's fine for you, but it's not everyone's preference. I'd like to be able to go places without people thinking it's ok to just come up to me. I thing 'read the cues' is what needs to happen. I don't invite comments don't make eye contact and don't reply or encourage it, so that should be enough to preserve my unbothered state.
It's the same in lines or on planes or at the coffee shop or in any other social space. There's implied public space that should be preserved unless someone gives cues they'd like to talk to you. Otherwise, bug off.

>>7469649
Yes I have, like I said, I live in the city and I've had friendly people come up to me and talk to me about lolita when I was wearing it. They knew the fashion and complimented me. If I was as afraid of strangers as most of you seem to be I wouldn't have a few good friends I have today.

>>7469644
It wasn't an insult, and I'm serious. No one can possibly be this naive and socially unaware.

>>7469656
You seem like the autistic one if you're having trouble with people around you wanting to interact with you.

This mentality is the same thing that makes people feel uncomfortable with helping strangers who need help.

>be white male, 23yo
>love cute things and lolita
>always see girls around that look cute
>want to compliment them on what I find cute
>don't want to look like a creep
>keep it to myself
>never talk to strangers

My life. Alternately:
>want to become brolita
>want to get into gothic and classic
>want to join local community
>feel nervous if I'll be good enough
>already crossplay but still
>don't want to be seen as "that creepy brolita"

I just want lolita friends. Why is this so hard.

>>7469661
I'd much rather be socially naive than worried everyone who talks to me is out to get me. I'm not as cynical as you, and sure I've been fucked with once or twice but don't be such a prissy bitch about it.

>>7469657
Please read >>7468594.
You said the people that came up to you talked about lolita. That person has something in common with you and that's very different from some greasy man coming up to you and being creepy.

>>7469657
>they knew the fashion

okay, bingo. recognizing someone's hobby, seeing that they're already out socializing, and politely bringing up aforementioned hobby is entirely different than simply complimenting someone's appearance while they are keeping to themselves in public. entirely different. you can't toss context out the window and say that your experiences represent the general situation these other seagulls are describing.

>>7469668
Post pics of yourself with your face censored in concrit threads before you go out in lolita. Take concrit and improve. When you're good enough, join your local comm. Proceed to make lolita friends you can talk with. All of your problems are solved.

>>7469661
Yes, yes, bad shit happens to people all the time, but I don't want to paint everyone I don't know the villain. I'm sorry if believing there are good people in the world is considered autistic these days.

>>7469665
I'm not 'having trouble', I just think it's lame that so many people don't read social cues and gormlessly chatter to strangers and accuse others of being cunts if they won't talk to them.

It has nothing to do with people needing asking for or giving help. Completely different situation.

>>7469681
Shouldn't my face matter too? I have a senpai I'm getting advice from before I even buy anything. I'm still worried they won't like me, even if I am well dressed. Hopefully it's not as hard as I'm worrying it will be...

>>7469704
Post your face separately in the makeup thread.

>>7469704
Also if you're at least decent you will definitely make friends. You sound enthustiastic and actually willing to try to look good. I would definitely want to talk with you. Good luck.
>>7469704
>>7469707
Oh, and maybe censor your eyes when you post your face. Then post your eyes separately, too. I'm suggesting this so you can't easily be identified. Of course you can just post all of you if you don't care.

>>7469668
Ask the comm mods for a personal interview. Meet up at a cafe in full lolita. Takes balls, but you're gonna need them to be a brolita.

>>7455332
Not the Party City wig! :D

>>7455718
Le douche much?

>>7469687
hey, i believe there are good people in the world, too

but that doesn't keep me from thinking that any guy who shouts at me in the street, gives me a creepy compliment, or says things like "aw why don't you smile, you'd be so beautiful if you had a smile" does not get my you're-a-good-guy stamp of approval, is that hard to understand? you sound like you're 16 or so with how idealistic you want the world to be. i probably would've said something similar if i was still really young - but i've had experiences that change the way i see the world, and you haven't. and that's the point i think everyone's trying to make.

>>7469715
I think I'll just post all of it. I'm not really that worried about being recognized, though I hope I get more criticism than random anon hate. Thank you for the encouragement!

>>7469734
That sounds like a great idea. That should show them I'm really serious. I'm hoping I can get into a more exclusive group so we can meet often in a small place and be close rather than going to general meets all the time with randoms.

I've walked around cities in full crossplay before with wacky colored hair and shit so I'll be fine. Kind of nerve wracking to go by myself at first. I really need to work on my girl voice, haha.

>>7469668
If you know about lolita, it's much easier to compliment them. Saying "I love your coord!" sounds like you know your shit, which can come off better to lolitas because you sound informed.

As for being a brolita, just do eet. If you have experience crossplaying, you should know how to make yourself look feminine, and as long as you try you won't look like a creepy dude who's there for fetish reasons.