/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>9362653
im not religious at all but it reallly rustles my
jimmies when people talk about shit they don't understand. theres like millions of Mormons and the couple hundred that practice polygamy are not considered "mormons" God it's really simple, even my athiest ass can understand it
also i doubt any of them would get into lolita since they have to dress in literal potato sacks

>>9362671
wuuuuut no way there are like fuckin practicing mormons in the comm? are they active at meets? can you name them??

>>9362687
Me and two other girls are in the same ward. I'm not as devout to the religion but it is my preference for faith. I'm not outing us though.

>>9362687
You have to be 18+ to be here

>>9362709
I'm 22....? the fuck you on about?

>>9362716
Lurk more new fag.

>>9362687
>the couple hundred that practice polygamy are not considered "mormons"
No true Scotsman

>>9362687
you responded to a post that said it was specifically talking about FLDS and its escapees to complain that those who practice polygymy are #notmymormons. what are you trying to gain by this

>>9363085
Drama.

Unrelated, does anyone know if there are active comms in northern Indiana? What's chicago's comm like?

>>9363195
Chicago's comm is huge, but not nearly as many people that are in the comm actually attend meets. There are, I'd say, around 20 regulars who show up to nearly every meet/dress really nicely.

There are pockets of drama in smaller circles in the group. However, if you are new to the comm, you'd never know it, since everyone acts amicably and welcoming to new members; especially if you are actually into lolita/have been (rather than being one of the pickups from the local conventions who leave within the year/aren't ACTUALLY into lolita :\).

And the mods are, IMO, -actually- nice, and genuinely care about the comm. They are also pretty down to earth and don't make snap judgments or anything. I'm also part of the Milwaukee comm, and (though I'll only say this on anon) I like the Chicago comm better! :D

>>9362680
We decided to meet in between lolitas at next con and so far this shit happened
>that one girl asking if it's ok to bring her pet poodle "dressed in a ebay dog dress xD"
>that one girl who owns no lolita but is "really lolita at heart" and will be "really sad" if we don't accept her
>that girl who owns, i shit you not, a sugary carnival replica, a twintail blue/pink wig and a milanoo monstruosity
>a girl who ask if her "lolita cosplay" from that one character is actual lolita
>a few normal lolitas trying to explain it's not lolita
Why are we so hugboxy? I just wish I could tell them to fuck off but everyone will say i'm being "too mean uwu" to them

>>9363318
...because even outside of lolita the urge to tell someone to "fuck off" because they're newbies is generally frowned upon

>>9362699
that's.... weird. i can name two from phoenix, but i don't think you're them. there's really 5?

>>9363535
Who tf cares?! As long as no one bring up their religious BS whether or not their faith aligned with mine or not, I don't give a shit as long as you are decently dressed and can carry a decent convo. Fuck.

>>9363740
Yeah seriously. I'm not religious, but the way you're asking if anyone can name who the Mormons are and trying to pin down an exact number of them is very creepy. Imagine if instead of "Mormon" you asked about how many Muslims, or Jews, or gays or whatever the fuck were in the comm and I think it should become clear how awkward and uncomfortable you're being.

>>9362716

>>9363195
>>9363276
I'm in Chicago comm too. They're very kind and well dressed for the most part. The group recently got rid of ghost members but it's still pretty big. I also agree that the mods are really nice and do a good job running things. Not alot of drama, except for a few specific girls. I recommend you come to Chicago for meets, I know other girls from Indiana because there isn't alot of activity there.

piggybacking on the last conversation since I missed out. Im new to southern Maine. what comms are even active around here? Are my best bets sticking to Boston or NY?

>>9363890
Boston.

>>9363824
if you had to fucking live around so many of them you'd wanna know who to avoid at meets. they're insane and they're everywhere where we live.

>>9363824
>>9363914
Imagine the worst Pinterest mom stereotype and add in an extra helping of judgy-ness along with the attitude of no fun allowed, then surround yourself with them 24/7 and see if you wouldn't try to avoid them.

>>9362680
deceased at this summary, thank you anon

>>9363322
If someone showed up to a car show with a rusty bicycle they'd be told to fuck off, though.

>>9362687
>>9362699
>>9363085
>>9363535
>ex-mormon
>this outta be good

I have been waiting my entire life to use this gif at the right time

>>9363914
>>9363935
correct

>>9362687
>>9362699
>>9363085
>>9363535
>ex-mormon
>settles in for thread

I've been waiting a loooong time for the right opportunity to utilize this gif.

>>9363914
>>9363935
These are all correct statements.

Last meet was a fucking shitshow
Some girl moved from another comm and will not shut the fuck UP about feminism at any opportunity she gets
>Older man comes by our table and HAPPENS to be white
>"what are you ladies dressed up for?"
>explain it's just our fashion
>"no no it must be for some kind of play!"
>explain again
>"well thank you for letting me know! What you do is awesome!"
>he wanders back to his table
>"Ughh OLD WHITE MEN"
I know she's a nice person inside but like I DON'T want meetups to be a political debate
I cannot STAND lolitas who assume that this must be some sort of feminist fashion because we're "not dressing for the male gaze"

>>9364038
My condolences, she sounds insufferable.

>>9364038
I can't stand people who complain about being complimented by polite normies. Even if you're not wearing lolita for the attention, it's just part of the deal when you dress this wildly out of the norm. Complain about rude people all you want but when a nice old lady tells us we look wonderful and girls start bitching about her I want to slap the cosplay wigs and plastic crowns off their heads. Real life isn't anime. We look different and that attracts attention. Deal with it.

>>9364089
Exactly! It's something you've got to accept if you're into alt fashion. People will stare, comment, and sometimes will want to strike up a conversation. Lolita is a pretty fashion and people are curious. Yeah, it can be annoying, but you've got to take it in stride. It's obviously okay to tell someone off if they're being inappropriate or touching you without your consent, but does it really hurt to answer a couple of simple questions every now and then?

I hate when people have meetups where no one has a plan for what to do and it's just aimlessly wandering...

>>9363824
I'm not the anon wanting to out them. I know some and are friends with them but that is irrelevant to the comm and the fashion. That's why I said who the fuck cares. Though you are correct. The annons asking who they are are very creepy and even though I'm not Mormon myself it does make me feel very uncomfortable

>>9363914
>>9363935

Yeah but obviously the girls in the comm are not those crazy Mormons you're making them out to be. If no one knows they are Mormon then it's obvious they are not shoving their religion down your throats like you're playing all Mormons to do. Christians are just as bad if not worse about their Jesus boner.

>>9364038
How funny, I said exactly this at the last meet I went to and am new to my comm. Old guys in general feel the need to say some snide remark whenever I'm out in lolita. It's not a compliment - they're putting you down and pointing out that you're dressed differently.

Sorry youre too dumb to realize this. See you at the next meet!

>>9364274
Thanks for outing yourself! Please don't ever attended another meetup! You are an embarrassment!

>Girl in my comm wants to host a meet to see Beauty and the Beast
>People seem gung ho
>She sets the date and showing based on the poll results for best day
>posts where she pre-bought her ticket and the seating plan so we can all sit around her
>"Oh I don't like 3D. Not going." t. everyone who didn't bother to mention this beforehand when planning for a week

>>9364288
She should have mentioned it was going to be 3d. A lot of people can't stand it.

>>9364274
If you're not trolling, congrats, you just outed yourself to your entire comm. Here's a hint: every lolita knows that people are going to stare and laugh, it's part of the territory. Most of us are mature enough to ignore it. Sorry you missed that memo.

Also, your tumblr brand of feminism is embarrassing. Please know that everyone laughs at you as soon as you leave.

>>9364091
Last meetup apparently a starry-eyed young (13-14 year old) girl came up to a smaller group and excitedly asked if we always dress this cute, and one girl called her stupid and said "of course not, it's way too expensive". Hearing about this pissed me off so much both because it's blatantly untrue and also because why would you be so rude to someone asking a simple question? Maybe the girl was interested in the fashion and is now turned off because your rude ass insulted her for no reason.

Idk maybe it's because I wear lolita regularly but I have very little patience for people sperging about normies. Either get used to it or stick to only wearing lolita at anime conventions.

>>9364274
I get plenty of legit compliments from older dudes. Some even get sentimental and tell me their wife used to dress like me and they're happy to be reminded of that time in their life. Sorry you dress so badly you only get insults.

>>9364111
What kind of meetups are those? Meet at the mall? Are teenagers hosting them?

I do get it though, I hate when some people try to host a meet but have no idea what they are doing so they say we will wing it or ask other people what they want to do.

>>9364288

Yeah sorry but I wouldn't go if it was 3D. Gives me a headache. She should have stated that beforehand.

>>9363276
>Milwaukee comm
You poor thing
I've heard lolitas I know shit talk Milwaukee a lot and after meeting some of the girls from Milwaukee, I can see why. No offense

>>9364185
>implying I'm Christian
Go have a cup of coffee and calm the fuck down. People don't like them because they're annoying self righteous twats who expect everyone to follow their rules. None of you have been persecuted in a long time.

Now go back making business deals based soley on nepotism and having too many babies so you get your own planet in heaven or whatever.

What is the Arizona comm like? I plan on move to Arizona soon so I'm curious to know what they're like

>tfw there's like 5 well-dressed lolitas in your country but they're all far away and you've got to leave the country for a decent meet

I think there's a literal, honest to god no memes cult for Angelic Pretty in the big comm near me. I'm honestly a little afraid of them sometimes.

>>9364365
At this point just read the last thread or even go on archives (assuming you're not trolling). I'm fucking tired of hearing about those sand people and their issues.

>>9364365
Literally check the last thread.

Cliffs notes:
>Large Comm
>Not that much drama
>Not much being people clinging to old drama that's entirely irrelevant
>Current comm is decently dressed and everyone's kind in person
>Meet ups 3-4 times a month

>>9364365
Honestly its a decent comm. For some reason there is always some dumb drama about them on cgl but in person everyone is great, no drama, and we have a lot of meets.

>>9364185
Ok friend, no one is worse about oversharing their religion and trying to get everyone converted than Mormons. Obviously the girls in that comm are making baby Jesus cry by not trying to bring them into the fold, (thank u ladies) but you cannot act like Christians are worse about it than Mormons, like >>9364364 said.

>>9364411
Are they worse than Jehovah's Witnesses? I live in a pretty agnostic part of the world with practically no Mormons but still get JW's trying to talk themselves into my house on a regular basis. It's annoying.

Anyway it's pretty OT but I wonder if there are any lolita comms out there with actual cult members. Like someone in the last thread mentioned Scientology. Has anyone ever had to deal with a Scientologist lolita? This hobby probably isn't very compatible with a cult that's actively sucking up all your money lol

>>9364430
>This hobby probably isn't very compatible with a cult that's actively sucking up all your money
Why do you think there are so many replicafags

>>9364038
Was this at the HLC meet? Someone said something similar about Bree Love.

>>9363852
>>9363276
Thanks, anons! I'll check out a Chicago meet for sure. Excited to see a large and primarily well-dressed con.

>>9364036
Love this gif, it's golden.

>>9364089
I agree with you. It sounds like that old guy was being nice and just wasn't "with-it" as it were.

>>9364333
Not from your comm, but you're right. You can't take it personally when people look askance at alt fash, that's definitely just part of the territory. Also, I'm not a "Lolitas must be lovelies~~~" kind of person but being polite to strangers goes a long way towards making people not harshly judge our weird fashions

>>9364657
Comm, what the fuck. Sage.

>>9364274
I so hope you're not actually trolling cause if that's actually you, I just want you to know couple months ago the comm's head mod and I had a good laugh about how embarassing your behaviour was

>>9364565
Nah, much more northern

>>9364364
>Go have a cup of coffee

They can't have coffee, remember?

>what kind of God would deny you tea and coffee??

>>9364348
Meets where it starts at a specific cafe or eatery and then people just say "oh let's just wander around a bit and see what we find!" On top of that those same people will often ask others where we are going or what we should head towards, like... I don't want to wander around in this dress for hours aimlessly. At least have something in mind before you start marching people somewhere

>>9364430
Jehovah's witnesses are generally more polite. I'm from an area with strong "religious protections" meaning fundies can do whatever they want in the name of religion like handling poisonous snakes and letting their children die of easily curable diseases because they want to pray it away.

The Jehovah's Witnesses are notorious for being absolutely horrible to their children and members but aren't really allowed to associate with non-JW people outside from the door to door shit. You wouldn't ever see one in such a "wordly" hobby like lolita.

LDS people also have mandatory missionary work for adult men and women are increasingly going on them too. (Basically a year or two of brainwashing and knocking on doors. If you see a man in a white shirt and tie on a bicycle, chances are they're Mormon.) They associate without people outside the church but also expect everyone to follow their rules. (No coffee, no tea, not even decaf, no swearing, no alchohol or cigarettes, no establishments that primarily serve alcohol or are well known for it. No premarital sex, no fun allowed) expect to be lectured on the dangers of addiction if you want a cup of tea and judgement in general for not being Mormon. The women also tend to be the worst kind of pinterest mom stereotype and talk about nothing but their kids and how great a parent they are and how you don't get it because you haven't popped out four babies by 22 yet. Also the persecution complex is hardcore, every year or so they make their kids go on a wagon reenactment thing where they walk to Utah to reenact how they got ran out to the desert because people found polygamy icky back before it was outlawed by the church. I'd say they're on the same fake persecution level as incels. You will see them at meets before all individuality is squashed by becoming a mother of 6 by age 30.

Tldr: LDS are worse because they push their way in while expecting everyone else to bend over backwards for them. JWs are just annoying.

>>9364430
They're on par, depending on where you live, it's either the Mormons coming to your door or the JW.

>>9364788
It was sarcastic because caffeine being a drug on par with heroin and nicotine is stupid.

>>9364038
>>9364274
>>9364733

ok, y'all, enough of this. This is ridiculous and you'll all be reporting to my office shortly to hash this out.

>>9364810
Oh. Damn, I'm dumb

I'm fairly new to a comm that is known for drama. I love hanging out with a bunch of people within the comm but there's just a small handful of people that cause 98% of the drama. It's sad because the few drama-mongers basically broke up the comm and ruined it for everyone else. I wish I had joined sooner when everything wasn't so shitty. Anyone else have this feel?

>>9364807
Funny my best friend in hs was mormon with a strict mormon family, and even on the days I actually went to church with him (no one in my family is religious) they never ever expected me to do anything like they did.

They never said anything about my edgy clothing, never said anything about caffeine and never ever said a damn thing rude to me. They were always super sweet to me even though I knew they didnt agree with some of my choices. Despite having their own rules though I never heard them complain or demand someone bend to their rules during outings.

My friends mom never spoke of having a lot of kids, never acted like anything other than a really strung out mom of 6 kids that was happy (or pretending at least) to be with her family. I felt bad for her honestly, her favorite thing to do was talk to me for hours about how she once had dreams of writing like I wrote.

>>9364089
>>9364091

This so much.
One of the mods of my comm does this edgy shit all the time and it’s just embarrassing to have to be around. Regular people will come up with good intentions just asking questions and she turns into a raging bitch to them.
>”Wow, your dress is gorgeous! Why are you dressed up so fancy?”
>”Uhhhm because I fucking want to???”

God forbid someone asks to take a picture, too. People will be so nice and instead of just saying something like, “Oh, thank you for asking, but I’d prefer if you didn’t take a photo” she’ll say “UGH no! I’m not some object for you to gawk at this is ME.”

If I know she’s going to be at a meet and we’ll be having to come in contact with the general public then I avoid going. I just feel so bad for the people she treats like shit and am so embarrassed they’ll associate me with her.

>>9365195
This. I have met a shit ton of Mormons in my life and the majority have been very nice and never given a fuck that I don't abide by their religious rules. There's going to be crazies in every religion but the anon freaking out about who the Mormons in the comm are is cringe. If they're not shoving it down everyone's throat then who gives a fuck?

>>9364365
Agreed with >>9364376 and >>9364385. /cgl/ makes us out to be way worse than we actually are. All the drama died when Dom left, and the people who still think that we're constantly drowning in drama aren't even in the comm themselves.

I hate my community so much. It's run by a bunch of old twats, and I mean old. Not some close to 30 biddies, they're all pushing 40.
They run the community like it's N.Korea, but let anyone join. Including cosplay lolitas, littles, sissies, and men with no interest in lolita who aren't even active online. They host meets at one place, but go to a different venue to have private meet ups at the same date and time as the public meet they hosted, and don't respond to people who are commenting asking where everyone is. Most times it's just the mods that go to these meets, and one or two lost souls who stand around waiting for them to show up. I don't think they realize that their behavior is ruining the community culture here.

What's the Sydney comm like these days?
I haven't heard a peep out of them for years

Someone directly copied the rules I wrote for my comm to use in a different group, and I find it so funny. Part of the text even says "wink emoticon" lol
Wish she would have asked me before taking it, but whatever.

>>9364274
Kek glad we finally got rid of you in our state.
Now your new ""friends"" get to deal with you

>lone Lolita in outer Los Angles
>scarce meet pops up on fb notifications.
>planed for a month and really excited.
>canceled due to rain
>day comes and weather is nice all day
Lucifer, you cheeky disaster

>>9365337
I was really mad about this, anon. You're not the only one.

>>9365337
It was the doodle meet wasn't it? I really wanted to go too. The rain wasn't even that bad on that day but again this is SoCal where they freak out over mist. Friday was a lot worse

>>9365341
The weather has been really finicky. The IE comm had a swapmeet that almost got cancelled because of the rain(it was originally planned at a park) thankfully they found a museum willing to host and it went over pretty well.

>>9365206
Does this mod ever wear lolita outside of meetups? I've noticed that the daily lolitas in my comm are way more chill about inquisitive people than the newbies and girls who only ever wear lolita when out in a group. The rudest ones are all cosplayers branching out to lolita and they're most likely to throw a hissy fit when the public gawks at us, probably because they're used to being at anime conventions where nobody looks twice at a strangely dressed girl.

>>9365340
>>9365341
>>9365337
Everyone was hella salty, we were expecting another torrent like it was for this meet. It was legit bad and somewhat dangerous to be driving for. >>9365347

But lone lolita-chan, there's tons of meets between the 4 comms. Are you in the comm groups?

>>9365347
True. I drove through that crazy rain for that meet. That was crazy, I couldn't see 10ft ahead of me and windshield wipers were going max speed and it wasn't enough. Kudos to them though for making the meet still happen

>>9365361
Definitely better to be safe than sorry. I just wanted to doodle in frills and I'm being stupidly salty. But there's always next time.

The SGV/Cholita comm has two events coming up, SD comm always has a meet but it's a bit far. OC group is having a swap meet in March

>>9365382
That weather was pretty bad that day. Ended up taking streets home to avoid driving on the freeway. I'm planning to make the OC swap meet.

>>9365341
She'll reschedule, relax. And Friday's rain was not "normal" SoCal rain. I get as irritated as the next person over idiots who see mist droplets and immediately slow down 10 miles under the speed limit, but Friday flooded places to freeways closures and was really dangerous. She didn't want people trying to get to her meet through that torrent and possibly getting lost/hurt. Had no idea it'd clear up so nicely for the actual day of.

>>9365395
Exactly! Better safe than sorry. Plus forecast can always change within hours.

It was crazy that the cholitas swap meet still went through with that torrent even if indoors.

>>9365347
The museum was tiny and all the items I brought were soaked. It was hard driving in the rain that day too. I feel like half the people who planned to go couldn't make it because it rained so hard. Very disappointing. SGV should have rescheduled that meet.

>>9365337
And here I felt guilty for canceling a meet because only 1 person wanted to come

>>9364798
That sounds awful! That's why I never plan meets that only center around going to eat/tea without some kind of prior or follow up activity.

>>9365404
Lmao I still went because they managed to find a way to pull it off. I had some decent pocket change too.

>>9365361
I'm in two for LA proper as it has a bunch of museum trips and I love them. I usually have problems finding the time because of work but recently I've been more selfish and schedule down time.

What I should do is look up more comms to see what's closer. I think that includes Ventura, Hollywood and Pasadena comms. I've always lived in bro town USA, the only redeeming quality is having Six Flags.

>>9365809
Pasadena and Hollywood have their own comms? I had no idea

>>9365817
I remember something like that, whether they're actually a thing or not is the question. My memory is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 48 states.

>>9365796
It's great they found something at the last few days, it was still pretty risky for everyone to drive through. It was still a good meet and turn out, just rather small place and the weather itself not being good.

>>9365817
>>9365842
Unless they're all private groups, I don't think they exist. SoCal has 2 inactive IE comms, Cholitas for SGV area, inactive Beach cities comm, Orange County Lolitas, San Diego Lolitas, and 2 LA comms with one being more active than the other.

>comm keeps worshipping and doing orders through my lolita dress

>>9365857
Thanks for the info

>>9365888
Who cares? Let them waste their money.

>>9365888
Sometimes it's worth ordering from her when you just don't feel like dealing with the extra communication / hassle of other Taobao SSes. Not the end of the world, anon.

>>9365842
>My memory is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 48 states.
I love this

Does anyone know how any of the Minnesota comms are?

>>9366291
i first heard it in 1998

>>9364360
None taken; MKE has some badly dressed people who only show for 2-3 meets if that (outside the regulars who dress badly). You end up with smaller meets with kids bringing their moms or awkward meets that end up being "let's hang out at my house" instead of anything really constructive or fun. :(

What's the Ohio comm like?

>>9363276
Also confirming the Chicago comm is nice and looks good. The mods and other big hosts put a lot of effort into their meets too, overall really fun comm.

Does every comm have a secret comm now? What differentiates a secret comm from just a couple of friends hanging out?

I have just been thinking about this for a while.

>>9364678
kek. To be fair, the cons in the area tend to have decently skilled cosplayers.

No, not every comm, but it seems to happen more often with areas with a huge (lolita) population like New York City, which is kind of a special case in itself.

From what I remember, that comm has had its share of unwarranted (and perhaps warranted) drama that had gone on too long, and so it eventually splintered into cliques. Iirc, there's a secret seagull comm for New Yorkers wanting to hang out without all that baggage. Comms for foreveritas who look down on brand wearers have occurred elsewhere though.

I can't really answer your other question though. Perhaps it's a difference of wanting to recruit new members versus a group of people who want to keep to themselves.

>>9367249
I think a secret comm is when you're actively planning meets for a group of people and trying to make sure others don't find out and it's a regular thing.

If you're making private Facebook albums/groups, then that's probably a secret comm. A group chat or something where you all go to the movies or whatever, not so much.

>>9367249
I almost wish my comm had a secret ~elitist~ comm organising meets for fashion lolitas only. My comm seems to be split between experienced lolitas who dress quite well and cosplay itas who freak out at the prices of secondhand brand and need help deciding which colour shoes to wear with their one Bodyline dress. Last meet I ended up at the wrong side of the table and conversation never strayed from cons, cosplay and shit anime. One girl was wearing a wig with ridiculously long clip-on twin tails and was moving her head spastically while screaming about her husbando and one of the tails fell into my chocolate milk. She unclipped it and put it in her bag, still dripping. FFS I felt like I was at a convention meetup for 14-year-olds.

>>9364807
Wow you have a massive hate boner supported by delusional ideas about modern day mormons. I don't know what they have done to you but you make it seem like they are all warren jeffs brides and some shit. I'm friends with lots of them and they don't force their rules on you. They don't make you drink what their religion accepts. They just say "no thank you" and move on. You really need to let this Mormon hate go. It's not heathy to have that much pent up hatred bottled up. >>9365195
>>9365222 both are right. They are nice and fairly normal people. Sure a lot of kids. But Catholics do too. Maybe you need some Tampax and midol and sit the fuck down. Mormons are not this monster you think they are.

>>9367286
>there's a secret seagull comm for New Yorkers wanting to hang out without all that baggage

deets please? It's so fucking hard to get into a clique in this city.

>>9367249
To get away from the cringey and cheap people, my comm will hold small invite only events and you have to know someone who is attending. We welcome newbies and people who just moved to the area too. It keeps out alot of riff raff.

>>9367353
I'm patiently waiting on the day for people to stop getting butt hurt because some people prefer to do simple things like eat with a smaller group of those they relate to (friends) instead of 50 strangers (average amount of people in a community attending a meetup)

>>9367249
It's not really a secret comm, but people are definitely organizing between groups of friends in order to keep people out. No one wants to organize something on the main group because they don't want annoying or random people showing up. There were a few people other's were so desperately trying to avoid and ever since then it stuck even when the worst are gone.

>>9368041
There's a difference between hanging with a few friends and holding themed meetups and tea parties for the same large group of people. Then posting it on private facebooks calling it a meetup. Looking at you NYC.

>>9365888
Would you rather this or milanoo?

>>9368041
I only have a problem with it when they continually schedule it on the same day as a comm meetup.

>>9367236
Relatively peaceful. Not too many meets as of late.

>>9364360
>>9367100
dude, nobody from Chicago comes to Milwaukee for meetups anyways? And most of our meetups are at restaurants or places, idk what you're talking about

My comm is pretty quiet. There's another comm about 3 hours away, but it doesn't seem I qualify to join since I don't live in the state/area. I'd love to organize an event with maybe just one or two people. The problem is, the first real meetup I went to, I didn't really click with any of the girls there. So I guess I'll have to stick with being a lonelita.

>>9368041
>50 strangers (average amount of people in a community attending a meetup)

50 is average?? That's hard for me to imagine. Which comm?

>>9368049
This.
Woke up to see the NYC comm had a private twinning meet and brunch. Pic related.

Meanwhile no one has organized anything worth going to in the main comm since ILD.
>watching comm page like a hawk for months for a decent sized meet
>nothing but meidos and cosplayers advertising shorty meet n drinks in bars under their Hawaii desu headline.
>guess ill just spend my spare money on another dress.

I'm in an area near a few different comms, but all three of them are pretty frustrating. Comm 1 is very disjointed and doesn't have creative or frequent meets. Nobody seems to like each other and everyone's a bit judgemental. Comm 2 meets very frequently, but everyone there is ita af. Comm 3 is slightly further away and has really excellently planned meets, but everyone there is elitist and it's just too big for it's own good. For the love of God, please let me have one good group of people who I can peacefully enjoy this fashion with.

>>9369532
>twin meetup group photo
>put girls in front that aren't even twinning

>>9362680
Lol, Melbcomm so wild.

Has anyone ever abandoned ship on a meet up?

I went to one where a 30+ year old woman stuck to me like glue talking shit about brand and how only handmade was true lolita while I was wearing a full brand outfit.

The final straw was a homeless guy approached us trying to sell us drugs and the guy who planned the meet up didn't tell him to fuck off, just turned around and ignored him. So we were standing in a circle that homeless guy had put himself in the center of and this younger girl in AP looked like she was about to cry. Once I was sure the homeless guy had left, I fucking high tailed it out of there. I could not believe I took a 30 minute bus for that shit.

>>9369532
>>9368014
If there's enough of us (say, 6~8) that feel this way, I'd be happy to try to organize a small meetup in NYC.

>>9369532
See this is exactly the bullshit I'm talking about. Fuck the NYC "secret" comm. I even have some of these girls on facebook and I never get invited to shit. I dress well, I'm not annoying or a drama. At this point I don't even want to be part of their group because I'd probably just hate them, but I can't stand this "oh there's no secret comm just some friends hanging out" bullshit. And Yanice (chick in Fairytales print) is the fucking mod of the NYC group. Why do you even bother? How about you step down since you clearly don't give a shit about the comm itself? Just stay in your secret group bubble and get someone decent to run the comm.

>>9369979
You are this bitter and you are seriously asking why you don't get invited to shit? You probably don't hide this shitty sense of entitlement nearly as well as you think you do anon.

>>9369982
Not really bitter at anything besides this. I know a ton of other amazing lolitas in the area that dress well and are great people and are excluded as well. This is why people have their own other meets. We don't have drama or ever trash talk people. I just don't understand why NYC comm is such shit compared to other cities.

But I'm sorry, if you're a group leader then be a fucking group leader. If you want to go only to secret meets then do that. But not both.

>>9369828
Which comm?

>>9369979
You probably don't dress as well as you think lol

>>9369988
Just because someone "dresses well" and "is a good person" doesn't mean every person in the comm will want to hang out with them. I don't know why this idea is foreign to you, anon...you are selective with your own friend groups and people you choose to socialize with, why not extend them the same courtesy? It sounds like you're just trying to throw a pity party because you feel excluded by people you barely know and that's kinda sad.

>>9369994
Ok sure why not. Then explain the other amazingly dressed NYC lolitas that don't get invited? What is the point of having the main comm? Like I said at this point I don't even want to be invited to their meets but I hate the state of the comm.

Just as >>9369532 said there are zero meets posted. You have to somehow magically find a clique. Yeah I guess its not ALL the secret comms fault, since others do private meets as well. I don't know, I guess I just miss the sense of an actual lolita community that most other places have.

>>9365888
Are they really that bad? I was thinking in ordering a beret from them since I didn't want to waste time looking for an ss. Now you've made me doubt.

>>9369532
This is just sad. I joined the NYC comm since I'm so close and there is absolutely nothing ever on the comm page. Then I see things like this? Why does this even happen? I'm even friends with some of the girls in the photo and I never hear anything, I just want to make some friends irl...How do I even get into these cliques when there is no main comm meets to introduce myself to?

>>9369999
You can't even find them and people who ask on the main page "why is there no meets" always get the same responses "it's too expensive". Come on now, it's NYC. Meanwhile my BF who lives across the country's comm has meets almost every week and everyone seems so friendly and his city is pretty large (not NYC scale but similar).

>new purchases topic on local comm FB
>some newbie posts bragging about getting my dream dress
>"lol I don't even know how to wear it lol it's good it's an OP"
Then give it to someone who knows how to wear it then you dumb bitch!!

>>9370096
Sorry you couldnt get your dress poorfag

>>9369988
Why don't you organize a comm meet yourself? Or your own private meetup with those other amazing, excluded lolitas?

>>9370173
I'm not poor bitch I have lots of AP but can't wear this dress for personal reasons so shut up

>>9370187
You don't deserve to wear nice dresses with that attitude anyway.

>>9370096
>>9370187
Please stop, you're embarrassing yourself.

>>9370187
>personal reasons
Ah, so you're a fatty then

>>9370175
I actually have multiple times before and invited many people. Even posted in the comm page. This was a while ago. That still doesn't change that the comm and the leadership is shit and hypocritical.

>>9370062
Exactly! Its always "too difficult for a large comm!" or "its just friends!", but those are just convenient lies. I happen to know there is another sort of secret ish comm in NYC and they are not very active but they do make big meets once in a while. But its the same people who are in them, including the comm leader. No one died from making reservations.


Like I said I dont even care about being in their group anymore, I just feel sad for the state of the comm. What they call the "ita" comm is much more welcoming and most of those girls arent even itas or grow out of ita after their 2nd coord.

>>9370192
Some of AP's one-pieces are really small to be fair!!

>>9364798
This is every single meet in my comm. Literally every one except 1 or 2 per year when there's some kind of 'geeky' event that they want to go to. No one bothers planning or suggesting anything past "lets eat here and then maybe go window shopping or decide something else to do!" I don't know what to do about it though since there's genuinely very little to do in my city.

>>9369964
I'm in. I'm tired of waiting months for a meet to pop up where everyone has a chance to go, rather than a tea party where, when the event goes up, most of the tickets are already sold.

I understand this is how the NYC comm gets their "look how perfect our comm is" pictures, but honestly, that's not our comm. Anyone who wants to join the NYC comm will get the wrong idea that everyone's well dressed and super best friends or even that we frequently have meets.

This is why people would rather join the eastern N.Y., or jersey comms instead of something closer to them. Its honestly sad.

>Go to comfy meet yesterday
>wandering from cafe to cafe down a particular street trying different signature event hot chocolates
>everyone has their own teacups to split the drinks into
>most places pretty accomodating and nice to us
>all is well
>fastforward to tail end of the event
>one girl in our comm starts jumping up and down clapping saying "Sex shop! Sex shop!"
>everyone follows her inside
>Normally wouldn't mind a venture inside, but not in lolita
>Sure enough one customer is all like: "Oh is this that doll fetish?!"
>"No, ma'am."
>"NO NO I've seen this! With the contacts and everything!"
>We keep insisting that we're a fashion club and the visit to the sex shop is unrelated, but she was unwilling to listen
Aside from that few minutes of annoyance, I had a pretty good time.

>>9370193
>Exactly! Its always "too difficult for a large comm!" or "its just friends!", but those are just convenient lies.

Sounds like you've never tried to reserve a venue for 20+ people. If it's so easy why don't you drop the $2000 to pay for the space while hoping people don't flake on you.

>>9370334
>>We keep insisting that we're a fashion club and the visit to the sex shop is unrelated, but she was unwilling to listen
How very sex positive of her...

>>9369993
Upper northwest.

Sorry, I don't want to spill too much tea.

>>9364338
>"of course not, it's way too expensive"
This is why the subculture is dead. It's all about pageantry these days.

>>9370420
Your whiteknight is too big. Chill out.
While I agree hosting a meet is a big job that takes patience and money, if you have a such a large comm that you can't have meets I'm free space for all to enjoy like at a park and be a community then you should ask for help.
The NYC mods apparently can't handle anything larger than the 15 or so they have in their private meets.

But also, at least fucking ask if people are willing to pony up for a meet in a space, like a tea house or whatever. My comm is big enough to have people pay for their spot in advance. Can't make it? Someone else now has your spot. Non refundable deposits.
If you don't garner interest on the public forum, how can you even build a comm? Specially since they don't seem to be taking care of the main one.

>>9370334
Agreed, that moment was super cringe. Like there's a time and a place and being in lolita isn't one of those times. We get enough crap as is. Only reason I went in too was because it felt just as awkward to have to stand outside while everyone else went in.

>>9370443
So organize a public meet yourself if it's so easy. The meets you are jealous of is friends dressing up together not a secret comm.

>>9370472
This is generally my feeling whenever I see the inevitable bitching about "private" meets. Just organize your own and stop complaining, good god. I know it's annoying to have a comm mod that doesn't organize enough meets, but it's not like it's a position they're being paid for.

>>9370472
Nah not that person you're arguing with but at this point it's a secret comm separate from the main one. Mods should step down and let others handle it since nothing ever gets organized. NYC is such a large city with so many options it's retarded to argue they can't do anything.

>>9367353
Different anon:

I wonder if it's worth putting together a group chat for the older half of my comm, or would that come off as bitchy toward the younger lolitas?

>>9367547
Not anon you were replying to but you are making just the same amount of generalisations, you mormon yourself? TL:DR- there are good and bad + long winded personal story.

>family friends were mormon
>Pretty normal, mum is a raging bitch, but that's not mormon specific.
>they have twins. We were the same age, so friends.
>Church was down the road so yay! Got to play really often.
>The youngest, S, gets pneumonia or some serious sickness (I was 8)
>I don't think it is a big deal.
>S doesn't come to school.
>I see her and her family on the weekend when they go to church.
>S is really, really fucking sick & barely functioning in the car.
>talk to my mum later about how I am super worried about my friend.
>eventually S comes back to school and all is good. Mum doesn't want me to hangout with S & T (her sister) anymore with their family around. Weird.

fast forward,12 y.o me.
>mum and my sis (older) are talking about S, as friends with their older bro J. S is a fairly sickly person, and is depressed a lot of the time. She is also rebelling.
>Join in the conversation and find out what happened when I was 8 with S.
>they didn't seek medical treatment
>S was basically dying,
>They prayed. They would let their child die for their beliefs.
>someone called child protection.
>Live in Australia so they don't have a bar of that and force the parents to do something.
>Massive drama starts. MUH RELIGION!!! RRRREEEEEEEE
>meanwhile S is slowly dying.
>Child protection steps in. Gets shit done.
>S gets better slowly.
>turns out Mormon mum has been abusive to S ever since because she made them break faith and should be dead.

Happy ending
>All the kids left the religion. S is the only really well adjusted adult.
>She is happily married to her highschool love, and is a mum
>she is a good foot shorter than her identical twin T though. Still a generally sick person.

Sage for OT

>>9370476
Nothing stops you or anyone else from organizing. The people bitching should do it or shut up.

>>9370476
Personally, if I went to the trouble of creating/running a community and organizing meets for it I would think it an audacious suggestion that I abandon it to someone else simply because there's a gap of time where I'm only organizing smaller meets with closer friends.

Whenever my comm mod has been absent, I just PM my friends for small meets, and the comm mod usually comes back to organize for ILD or other "big" days. The fuss I see others kick up over the mods doing their own thing and not including every Tommi, Dickerina, and Harriet in the comm just feels petty.

>>9362680
Since the topic of private meets has come up I need some advice anons.

I have recently started moderating my small local comm and was wondering if creating a private event on the com page is general practice? One of the members created a private event on the fb page and it isn't sitting well with me.
Just to be clear I don't mind private events or friends only but I just feel like the comm page should be comm stuff only, and private stuff should be organised amoung your friends/ attendees else where.

Is this:
>A) just general practice, people normally create private events on comm pages so I should just stifle my personal qualms, move on & leave it be.
>B) Comm pages should be for inclusive events only, while non-invited members wont see the event it is not appropriate to use a group page as a personal organiser. Politely ask the host to create their events privately + update the rules.

>>9370420
I have done this in NYC and its not that bad. But my point remains, dont be a fucking comm leader if you are only willing to do this and participate with a secret group.

>>9370537
B)

>>9370510
You must really know nothing about the NYC community. The leaders do jack shit for the community. Literally nothing for years. Leaders in name only and go off on private meets. If they were actually doing something more constructive for the comm and having their own meets I wouldn't care. At this point I'm just questioning why they dont step down since they dont even do anything? Why bother? Just so you can have some "status"?

And if anyone starts to say examples of what they have done, please remember that was years ago.

>>9370589
The only recent thing was the monthly theme coord posts. But that died quickly.

>>9370589
It's that bad? It looks like you have 6 FB admin/comm leaders...

>>9364297
>>9364288
Not only that, its usually way more expensive too. shoudve taken a vote for 3d or no.

>>9370599
Yes it's that bad. We have almost 1000 members and nothing ever gets done, it's ridiculous. Then we see all these private meet photos like >>9369532 and we get angry because we know thats what has been happening for years while everyone just rots. NYC is the largest city in the USA, this shouldn't be this hard.

>>9370510
Mods organizing comm meets is important. Subconsiously most people see that as more organized.
If LucyLu from nowhere organized a picnic vs KawaiiPrincess500 the mod posts an event for a picnic in the same weekend chances are people find the Mod run event to be more reliable and would probably have a bigger turnout because.of the status of responsibility.

To the one shit stirrer fighting the NYC comm members ITT, please remember that a Mods job that they volunteer to do by accepting the position of Mod, is to lead a comm.
It may not be their job to organize meets but their activity in events being made is imperative. The photos of the meet they just attended were posted on their personal accounts. They called it a meet, not a hang out. Therefore it was a private meet, organized specifically for them.
That exclusion considering how dead the comms activities seem to be, is a bit of an insult to the rest of the comm.


Tl;dr:
Unfortunately the only suggestion I can give the NYC lolitas ITT is start your own comm. Be inclusive. Be active. Be everything your current mods are not.

>>9370599
Maybe like one of them even posted in the last year and i think like two years ago tried to do a picnic. Another only gives a shit about her boring brand, which only the secret comm girls give a shit about. Didnt even realize she was a mod until now. One started the comm and I heard she actually used to do shit. Clearly she doesnt give a shit anymore but doesnt want to let go of the title. Dont know who the fuck the others are cause no one ever posts, barely comments and obviously doesnt make any events.

Our page is full of visitors and newbies posting either "what to do here?" "any meets happening?" or "does anyone want to hang out on X day when I'm visiting NYC?" . Props to the last group at least. The visitors make more meets than leader or comm members lol.

>>9369998
I can understand where she is coming from.
Comm needs more meetings and less "friends hanging out". A meet a month is proper.

>>9369532
>a fuck load of Asians
What did you expect from the most exclusive, xenophobic group of people

>>9370633
We also have secret asian comm, but I'm not salty about them, they can do what they want.

>>9370210
I'd rec maybe making a NYC neighborhood comm (like Brooklyn, Queens, etc, idk I'm not from nyc) too so people in general areas can meet up and the comm won't be as overwhelming to people who want to plan meets and you can have more private threads.

>>9370632
>A meet a month is proper.
Agreed. I don't see any other very viable way for new members to get to know the comm outside of one of the rare public meets.

>>9370206
I'm new to my comm so I didn't feel comfortable telling people that we should do X, but if I was more well known I would definitely have been more assertive with making plans. For now I just skip those kind of wandering meets.

All this NYC stuff is making me glad that I'm not there. I get why they do separate stuff but man would it be disappointing to me to have to brownnose my way in to actually hanging out with people despite supposedly having a comm.

>>9370621
>>Tl;dr:
Unfortunately the only suggestion I can give the NYC lolitas ITT is start your own comm. Be inclusive. Be active. Be everything your current mods are not.


Thank you for understanding. This is actually exactly what most of us do here, that's why everyone says it's a cliquey comm. Many mini-comms here. Kind of round abouts to why I'm salty because the state of things is because of the current "leaders".

I know nothing is going to change from me bitching on here but it was good to get it off my chest and see others upset about the same thing. We will keep our mini-comms going and be friendly to newcomers, as it is the most we can really do. I wonder if this is how it's like in Japan? Since I hear there are no comms, just groups.

>>9370334
>one girl in our comm starts jumping up and down clapping saying "Sex shop! Sex shop!"
Sounds like a ddlg girl. PURGE

>>9370649
>rare public meets

Is this only a NYC thing? Because virtually all the meets where I'm from are public meets.

>>9370791
Based on my (limited) personal experience in the comm so far and the grievances in this thread, that seems to be the case.

>>9370791
Last big "everyone's invited who can make it" meet I remember was a Central Park meet a few months back. Before then I don't remember. Maybe a Halloween one?
Usually the best bet for a social meetup is to go to one of BtSSBNYC's events. They have an event every couple of months, usually with guests so everyone in my group tries to go.

>>9370648
Different anon, but I'm kind of surprised that there aren't comms for each borough already.

>>9370633
>>9370635
I'm not surprised about this since I've heard this sort of thing occurring in other places with a big foreign student population like some parts of Canada. I guess it makes it less lonesome if your first language isn't English.

I wouldn't be surprised if any of the random non-American Asian lolitas I see in my city have their own comm via weibo.

>>9370791
Since we're sharing how ducked up this comm is...

>>9370819
That's pretty sad...

gdi, I can't find the video of the tea party at Baby, but it was held in the middle of the shop and so it was very crowded.

>>9370826

yeah i was in that tea party and it was shitshow. the food really sucked and the people who were friends just clustered at one spot and everyone from new jersey sat near the door. it was so weird and not cheap too

What is everyone doing for their Easter meetups this year? I'm trying to think of something fun to do with my comm but I'm not finding any good ideas.

>>9370819
That's embarrassing. Tea parties are usally reserved and require prepayment. So the last newbie friendly meet was back in october, technically.
>>9370857
>girls from another state shoved towards a door
Soooo, these shady Mods made no effort to welcome visitors and make them feel included? No.

>>9370866
I would rent out a hall and decorate it with both easter and spring like decorations. I think an easter "egg" hunt could be fun. Turn it into a game. Hide jello eggs in different areas of the hall and have everyone find them. Whoever finds the most eggs wins a prize. You could also have a coordinate contest, and a "draw your own coord" contest and make it spring themed.

How are the comms in Yorkshire and Edinburgh? Active, many members, inclusive?

>>9368118
Thiiiisss!

No one cares about your secret comm but when you host your meet-ups on the same day as the general comm meets, it's bound to look intentional.

>>9370612
>>9369532
>>9369979

Is it against the rules to plan meets in your comm or something?? Because if you're so upset that nothing ever gets planned, why not be proactive and plan meets yourself? In my comm, the admins almost never host meets, and it's almost exclusively members planning and organizing meets, and no one seems to have a problem with that.

>>9370819
This doesn't look so different from my comm, actually...

>>9371179
I agree that the members should be more proactive but it sounds like they are also venting about
1. Inactive mods
2. 1 active mod only participating in private meets
3. Private meets being billed as comm meets
4. Hurt feelings about being excluded from said meets

It's definitely not just their comm with these issues though lol. Anyways there are still relevant guides for hosting a meetup in the archives or LJ.

>>9370899
this was the btssb tea party and it was free seating. it's just strange that there was zero intermingling. everyone just sat in cliques. the 2nd (middle) table wasn't as bad but it was so cramped

>>9365297
This happened in our comm, we just laughed about it. It was a girl desperately trying to piece together a comm that simply was't there, and who I'm pretty sure gets her brand via credit card fraud.

>>9369964
>>9370210
I'm also in. It's easy for the girls in the photo to come in here and say "WHY DON'T YOU JUST ORGANIZE ONE THEN" when the people complaining are either 1. well dressed and new so don't know anyone or anything in the city or 2. know all these bitches but are being excluded. It's clearly not a small group of friends when these girls are literally on Facebook and insta saying "Great meetup with the NYC comm!" etc. It's like >>9370589 said, if you just want to organize meetups with your *cough* 16 super-close friends, fine, but stop hanging onto that admin position for status and let someone who actually gives a shit to have a go.
>>9370819
One of these is a girl from out of town that was visiting and wanted to meet some people lol

>>9369982
>>9370472
>>9370501
White knighting af, confirmed for one/some of the girls in that photo. It's just sad.

>>9370866
I think I'd like to do a spring themed meet at a theatre meeting space

>Encourage a pastels/floral themed coord
>set up "photobooth" w/giant fake flowers for props
>Decorate space w/faux flowers and pastel streamers

I might do a raffle or give out small prizes for a few games. I don't think I want to do anything Easter per say, except maybe give out candy in plastic eggs as part of a goodie bag.

>go to one of the bigger meets
>make connections
>get invited to private meets
Is it really so hard? Being new to the comm is no excuse.

>>9370819

>Tea in Midtown

This was organized by a visitor to New York.

>Mini Holiday Meet

Idk what this one was about but it was jsut someone that wanted to walk around NYC?

>Halloween Picnic

Organized by a newbie (good for her!)

This thread is full of NYC secret comm members, and it's so obvious.

Speaking of all this secret comm bullshit, is this the reason there's fuck all going on in the Dutch comm? I don't really care if friends want to hang out and not announce it to the comm but I've been wanting to get out of lone lolita-ship and join the comm for ages and have just found no opportunity. The only meetups I've seen have been ones that require you to pay 30-40€ and I don't even know if I'll get along with anyone there.

And this might just be a personal peeve of mine but why do all meets have to be so heavily themed? It makes me feel like I shouldn't come because I don't have anything that fits the theme.

>>9371329
I'm just waiting for the comm mod to come in and try to do her damage control again.

>>9371318
The hard part is waiting for one of those "bigger meets" to actually happen.

As >>9371308 we have literally met these bitches multiple times and have them on Facebook. Stop defending your snobby ass circle, we don't even want to be part of it anymore.

>>9370857
>the people who were friends just clustered at one spot and everyone from new jersey sat near the door.


Our comm is just cliques and its THE MODS FAULT. Stop fucking saying "host a meet yourself". Clearly we fucking do that all the time and that's why we have a bunch of cliques instead of a community. Stop whiteknighting the mods and/or yourselves. You can still go to your private meets just don't pretend to be some community leader.

>>9371318
I hope you've been leading by example and inviting newcomers to your meets.

>>9371336
I wonder if one of them will actually try to make a meetup or just another half assed attempt at a coord thread.

Or maybe they will just whiteknight themselves more.

>>9371318
I'm not in NYC but my comm has a similar problem.
>only three public meets last year
>go to all three
>at second and third meets approach people I've talked to before
>they don't seem to remember me
>one literally says "Who are you? I've never seen you before" in a really rude tone
>there are photos of the two of us posing together at previous meets
Apparently I'm really forgettable? /cgl/ likes my coords so I know I'm not a raging ita, so what should I do to make more of an impression and increase my chances of being invited to future meets? I don't want to be an obnoxious tryhard.

>>9371349
It sounds like you could be wearing different wigs and makeup that make you look drastically different. Try wearing similar colored wigs and make up to these events, maybe the people will remember you.

>>one literally says "Who are you? I've never seen you before" in a really rude tone
pass on trying to befriend her though

>>9371318
I long moved away from NYC but here's my experience with "networking at bigger meets."

>Be new
>Be friendly at the bigger meet and even exchange social media
>Mod PMs me
>Holy shit, I made friends and can finally go to the smaller meets
>"Can you vote for me in this contest?"

>>9371318
Why do comms have private meets? Maybe this is a stupid question but if a community meetup isn't for the whole community, what's the point?

>>9371355
Seconding this. I've been in the same comm for 6+ years and it'd be really weird and pretty petty if someone made an ~exclusive~ meet.

>>9371355
>>9371359
A private meet isn't really a community meet-up, but a friends meet-up. Part of it is to filter out people who cause drama and itas. Sometimes it's a status thing, but unless they organize it on the same day as a comm meet, it's usually just people wanting to socialize with other people who have been established as on the same wavelength.

>>9371330
I don't know!
There was a cat cafe meet recently that filled up within minutes so if you weren't on FB at that exact moment you probably missed it. Other meet ups either cost >€30 or also fill up right away or both. This makes it scary for me to try to organise one myself, because I'd like to just go to a cute cafe with a handful of girls without like 40 people RSVPing. I don't want to put some arbitrary limit on the number of attendees but I don't feel comfortable managing that many people. Still I'm kinda desperate to go to another meetup and am even considering the one in Groningen even though it's almost 3 hours away with public transport both ways. I'm not sure if I should go to the OTTtea because I have no OTT coords.

>>9371361
Just don't forget to label it as "me and my 25 closest friends" and you're all good. It's just friends hanging out!

>>9371361
That's... not even a meetup then. It's not even associated with the community surely.
Wait, so is it normal for communities to only have a handful of actual "public" meetups a year?

>>9371352
I never wear wigs though...

>>9371353
Rip anon

>>9371349
Are you following up on your contacts through social media afterwards? Also what >>9371352 says might apply. Another reason is if the meets are spaced far apart and the comm is reasonably big.

>>9371365
That's how my comm works? I mean, you want to hang out with your friends from the lolita community, but not all lolitas are your friends. Honestly, I don't know why people get so salty about what other people are doing. I thought we got over the "this girl didn't invite me to her birthday!" thing back in preschool. Though it does suck if you don't have any opportunities to mingle at all because everything is private, that's true.

>>9371362
Small meets filling up so fast is actually a big reason why there so much more private meets. People don't like ending up with 30 people in a small restaurant. A lot of places have a limit of people so if you have five interested friends and only 5 places left you're not going to invite the entire comm but only a handful of people. Not too mention you'd avoid debates about when and where the meet should take place and might risk people voting/demanding somewhere or on a day your friends might not make it.

You'd be welcome at a meet-up with a theme without wearing something in that theme unless you're not wearing lolita at all.

>>9371362
Yeah, I'm in the same boat as you, have been thinking of organising my own meet but I've never tried anything like that before and I don't want to organise some huge event. Groningen is 4 hours by train for me so that's not feasible at all but maybe meets in faraway corners of the country is the way to go to have a cozy meet with not too many people. Same regarding OTTea, I'm mostly a daily wear lolita.

>>9371381
I completely understand the predicament, and I'm 100% certain no one is trying to spite anyone. I'd just like to make some lolita friends but am finding it increasingly difficult to do so.

>>9371376
I'm not salty, sorry if it came across like that. I'm just really curious because our comm is pretty active despite being small. We have maybe one or two meets every month. I completely get having friend meets, but that's not a comm meet. It's just doing stuff with friends.
Sorry, I think I'm getting myself more confused than anyone else right now!

>>9371387
You could try the smaller comms within our comm that were created to end the endless debates about locations. There not all very active but you could try there to see if people want to meet up.

>>9371353
Also moved away from NYC. My comm experience has been similar to what some anons above describe. Very hard to meet people since there is like one event per year, and usually when you meet them they aren't very interested to talk afterwards.

>move to a new place
>join comm and attend the first meetup that pops up
>is a big tea meet, which is kind of intimidating
>people actually approach me and want to talk to me
>mods introduce themselves and make me feel super welcome as a new person
>made new friends
>multiple meetups a month, active comm threads
>people I have talked to once remember me at other meetups
>is this what a proper comm is? It's really nice.

>>9371381
Yeah, only meets with unlimited space could work easily on the comm page, like picnic meets. There are also very often a ton of people who put themselves on going, but never bother to commit, which was terrible when organizing something. There was also a time where some bad apples or random people that had nothing to do with Jfashion put themselves on going first and then killed the public meet, since no one wanted to hang out with them. People nowadays make plans with friends first and then expand to others they know. Not every private meet only has five people, most people just like to organize things and adding people they know. Some private meets even have 100+ invites, but people just don't want to deal with random people anymore.

If you are new, the easiest meets to get to know people are the big summer picnic meet or a summer tales meet.

>>9371392
What smaller comms are there? Is there one for the centre of the country or only the far corners?

>>9371396
>Some private meets even have 100+ invites, but people just don't want to deal with random people anymore.
I think this is essentially it. Private meets are what comm meets were before the idea of being all-inclusive became rampant inside the community and mods stopped filtering out the bad apples.

>>9371396
So basically wait for months and then hope people like you enough to invite you to their private event? Seems difficult. But I'm interested in the smaller comms, just haven't heard of/found any of them. What are they called/how do I find them?

So I've always avoided meetups bc I don't know how to use makeup and now I'm older than the average age - provided I actually get my shit together this year, would it be worth attempting to go to one of these or is it too late?

>>9371436
How old is older than average? If you're like 40 you'll probably feel out of touch but if you're only mid to late twenties then it shouldn't be a problem unless your comm only has teenyboppers.

>>9371338

I'm not siding the mods or hosting a meet. I only go for BTSSB/Tokyo Rebel meets since I prefer to be a lone lolita here. Just stating my experience of the tea party

For those who say that they go to public meets where are you from?

In New York it is so hard to find a place to hold a lot of frilly people. Maybe thats why they don't hold open meet ups?

Who knows.

Ahh cue the waterworks and white knighting about the NYC meet being posted here. I love how more than one person describes their experience of it taking years to find meets and friends while defending this. LOL. The comm is shit. We are only pointing out the comm is shit. You are reinforcing it.

Also nothing against the girl who hosted the twin meet, only beef is with the comm mods, once again. Please learn to read the thread people. You can stop crying now.

>>9371468
>>9371460
>>9371338
>>9371337
>>9371336
>>9371329
>>9371308


Hi NYC lolitas,

I'm Rachel, a member of the community (not a mod, or a frequent tea party attendee). I'm hosting a public swap meet that you're all welcome to attend:

/ groups / frillyork / permalink/ 10154394522008404 /

(remove spaces for url to work)

I have hosted the previous past 2 swap meets that were also public events. I hope you'll come, and maybe make new friends there.

I prefer to host swapmeets since that's all my time allows for. If those dates don't work for you, you're welcome to suggest new ones or wait for the next swap meet (probably in Sept).

So like... are any of you going to host a NYC meet now or are you going to continue sitting at home complaining about it? I'm new and I'm still waiting for SOMETHING.

>>9369828
One meet I tried to host everyone bailed. It was a small 4-person thing and two people bailed while me and the other girl were already on the train, so when we got there it was just the two of us and really awkward so the other girl bailed .-.

I didn't blame her.

>>9371496

I'm hosting a swap meet (see above). You can go to the comm page and vote for a date -- looking forward to meeting everyone there

>>9371503

Then try again? Make an effort? Everyone here complaining seems to just want to sit back and let everything come to them without making an effort to change things for themselves.

You can either do something about it, or continue to complain about it here. Looks like no one here is taking the latter.

There was an NYC lolita discord in the friend threads and they had two meet ups.

tl;dr : proof that NYC comm is not a comm and has no leaders. The leaders are not leaders and god forbit people get upset about about multiple times throughout the years.

Now everyone knows and both sides can stop bitching since nothing will change. See you all at the swap meet.

>>9370648

There's a Brooklyn lolitas comm on facebook, it's not very active but it's a good group of people and girls will usually respond well and pretty quickly if you make the introduction post.

>>9371493
Saw the poll post earlier, I'm looking forward to it.

>>9371519
>Now everyone knows and both sides can stop bit

Exactly. Out of towner here but mods are not your leaders. You are your own leader. Don't try and hang on to these people who don't know you. If you want to get to know them then sure, get to know them. If you're going to sit here and complain then do yourself a fucking favor and do something about it.

>>9371496
Why don't you do it yourself then???

>>9371513
No need to be so hostile there friendo. I bet that anon isn't even in NYC.

>>9371536

Who's being hostile? Im only stating the obvious lol

>>9371414
Well, currently if you are not interested in the OTT meet, there was the HP meet but I believe the reservation is already closed. There might be other public meets in between, but they aren't organized yet, aside from the Groningen meet. So at this moment I just can't name anything that will definitely be organised aside from the summer picnic and ST teaparty. I believe the OTT meet is now cheaper and you can choose a la carte if the high tea is too expensive, so it is now the price to enter the museum + food you order.

>>9371541
Anon was simply answering a question and you replied with
>ugh so try again and stop complaining!!
While weren't even complaining, just sharing a story of something that happened to them in response to another anon who asked. If you're from NYC I can see why you're feeling defensive but you're targeting the wrong poster there.

>>9371519
As someone not from this comm, it makes me a little bit sad, along with secondhand embarrassment. Livejournal, meetups and comms started up because lolitas in the west wanted to connect. I guess now they all connected enough to tell most others to fuck off.

>>9371549
No one is telling anyone else to fuck off. The meets that they hold are between friends. It has nothing to do with the community.

>>9371439
Early 30s. It's more curiosity than any sort of need to socialize, and you bring up a good point about teenyboppers. Do older lolitas just drop out of bigger meetups and stick to friend groups after a while or something?

>>9371552
>No one is telling anyone else to fuck off.
>It has nothing to do with the community.

>>9371552
They're not telling anyone to fuck off, just that they won't even try to meet them if they're not already friends.

>>9371560
Which is exactly their prerogative and I think the issue original anon needs to understand the most.

Just because someone likes the same subset of fashion does not mean you are automatically friends or automatically in a community together. They are not obligated to interact with you if they do not know you. Do you get upset when you see groups of people you don't know hanging out because you weren't invited?

>>9371553
I can't speak for other comms and it might be totally different in yours but in my comm, the older (mid-late twenties, very few in their 30s) girls have been involved in the comm for years and have made friends who they hang out with more than with the rest of the comm. Public meetups have more teens and early 20s than anything. I'm 26 and have been into lolita since I was 18 but only recently joined the local community (anxiety) and to be honest it's pretty awkward, especially when I tell people my age. I regret not getting involved with the comm earlier because it's been difficult making friends or even finding people in the same phase of life as me. When I told people I'm getting married and we're looking to buy a house they looked at me like I grew an extra head.
I think the average age is higher at fancier/more expensive meet ups, though. Teenyboppers usually don't have the funds for that sort of thing.

>>9371562
>no community
What is Yanice a mod of, then? If the idea of interacting with unfamiliar lolitas is so horrible to her she really ought to step down.

>>9371513
This is unrelated to the NYC stuff (though humorously this was in NYC com)
Was just replying to >>9369828

I've hosted multiple other meets that have gone well in my own com. But not every meet can be a winner.

They should post they are not a comm to their facebook so people who are there for a comm can leave and find an actual comm.

>>9371608
This sounds like something that would resolve most of the issues. The "we want a comm" people can make a new comm and stop being upset about the charade. The others can hang with their peeps without the continuous backlash.

RIP.tire is mine
Pretty mediocre cosplay but it's fun talking to people in the community
Thank God they added account linking on instagram

>>9371519
>>9371608
desu they should, or elect new mods. I'm an administrator from a different comm entirely so this is just my outsider two-cents, but while we do encourage people to host their own meetups, part of the responsibility of being a mod is to foster the community, not just click accept on people trying to join our facebook group. Their attitude is poss poor, and there must be people willing to step up and try again.
It seems to me the problem isn't even so much that it's hard in New York, but that there's no support for the people that do make an effort, whether to get in on this clique or make their own meetups. Plus, if meetups are truly so scarce, then when there is a meetup the interest will be disproportionately large as a result. More meetups on smaller scales would mean that not everyone feels a desperate need to attend the one meetup a year, and organizing smaller things may become possible.
Also, if it's truly a matter of 900 itas and 100 well dressed girls, it's time to put stricter rules in place. But again, this is all up to a mod, and the mods have to give two shits.

>>9371655
Wrong thread buddy

>>9371659>>9371659
Aw crap
I opened the wrong thread, I was wondering why there's nothing but Lolita discussion going on. Sorry!

So to all the people (esp. the NYC comm) who feel excluded from seeing private meet photos, how many of you actually reached out to the organizers to see if you can get included in the next one?

If you claim to know these people well and want to get to know them better, what have you actually done to get yourself included?

Posting on an anonymous board instead of tackling the problem by communicating like an adult won't solve your problem.

>>9371575
That's a good point, it makes sense that they'd stick with those they more or less grew up in the fashion with. I'll keep an eye out and see if it's worth the time I guess, considering I'm also less inclined to go out of my way to make new friends nowadays.

As an aside, congratulations! Many happy returns and I hope you find a lovely dream home for the two of you.

>>9371665
how the fuck you gonna message someone like "i saw you consciously didn't invite me to your last meetup!! despite this obvious gesture of disinterest, please invite me next time!"
nice try white knight

>>9371673
How about something like "Hey, those photos are really awesome! It seems like a very fun meet, and if there's room, I'd like to attend your next one."

You can be nice. Nice try, troll.

>>9371665
>lol this literally who messaged me demanding to be invited to our next justfriendshangingout, who the fuck does she think she is

>>9371681
more like:
>>9371682
what insane fantasy land do you live in? do you often invite yourself to private events? i bet that works out great for you. you seem to be missing the point of the thread.

>>9371665
How do you even know who the hell the organizer is when you weren't invited?

>>9371673
>>9371682
Seriously. It's so cringy and rude to ASK to be invited somewhere with people who clearly didn't want you there in the first place. I don't care if you have your own friend meets, go right ahead. Just quit pretending there is nothing wrong with this community.

>>9371681
That's the sort of message that'll end up on passiveaggressivenotes.com, holy awkward.

>>9371681
>give us asspats and lower yourself to begging to be in our presence and maaayybee we will invite you to another meet.

No thanks.

How do I find a lolita gf? From the looks of it up and going to a comm meet up is nigh impossible since I'm a guy who who is not going to wear lolita style

>>9371716
Date someone for their personality, not their hobbies.

>>9371716
Try messaging someone from the NYC comm to get invited to their meetup. They seem very open.

>>9371527
why do they have the settings to public?! Most comms have private fb groups to keep out the creeps from looking at photos from events and such.

Just my 2 cents. Many of us in the NYC comm are old enough and have been wearing lolita long enough that our small communities already suit our needs and we no longer feel the need to befriend every new lolita who happens to move to NYC. Lolita is still a hobby for me, but I don't really care about making new lolita friends. I can understand how that might be confusing if you come from a smaller city that has only one lolita group. But it's just the way it is here.

>>9371715
So you want to be invited to a friends meet based on... what? Your existence?

>>9371726
You can get to know someone through their hobbies, and fall in love with their personality

>>9371781
I totally get that it's how it here and thats cool for you guys. Do your thing, whatever.

The main problem is that there ARE people who are here to meet new lolitas, there are lolitas who want to find others, and the comm and comm leaders don't even try to facilitate that in any shape or form.

And if they are done with it that's cool too. Live your lives. BUT step down and get other people be leaders make a better community.

For some reason the misunderstanding is that we want to be in your stupid clique and we wanted to come to your meet and be your friends. We don't really. We are only asking for actual comm leadership.

>>9371788
I think the point of the group is to facilitate people who want to be proactive and seek out friends. It's not really a person's job to matchmake for you just because they mod a facebook page.

>>9371581
Actually she was the only one hosting public meets from that group before. That and the summer picnic that most people end up going to

>>9371788
Fair point, I can see how that would be frustrating.

>>9371794

>>9371788
>>9371794
Seems that the heart of the disagreement is not really about public vs. private meets, but what should be the function of the facebook group -- active meetup posts or just general interest group?

>>9371795
Ok she did a thing once upon a time a long time ago. Good job.I guess that fullfills her 3 year quota of doing a thing.

What about the other 5 invisible mods?

>>9371365
I'll try to break this down.

>Friend having private events are fine, but
>People are pointing out that the group is too big to just be "close friends" or whatever
>and that they are calling it a "meet," which a term more exclusive to lolita, as opposed to "a night out" "a get together" etc. etc.
>therefore, these are not just friends getting together, they are exlusive/cliquey private meets
>so the anons are concluding that rather put effort into general meets, there are just these private meets going on and it's difficult/next to impossible to make friends in the comm.

And that's the issue. And also, I'm from a smallish comm (30 regular members, up to a 100 on the facebook group) and the mod team here organizes meets once a month. In between then members are welcome to host meets as well, we just want to make sure there's always something to fall back on. It's not always fancy shit, sometimes we just go to the museum or the market for tea and sweets or have a picnic. But we do shit every month. Maybe sparse meets are normal for some comms, idk. I mean, we do stuff as friends as well, just a handful of girls at a time, but we don't plan it through the comm page or call it a meet.

So why is NYC the only comm like this though? How come almost any other comm in a decent sized city has normal meets and don't have this problem? They have mods who organize and help others out, not just manage the page and accept new members. They don't have people bitch and moan back to brand new members to "make your own meets!". That just doesn't seem very friendly or welcoming.

>>9371805

It was just last year if you paid any attention to the community then you would know.

Yeah theyre mods of a facebook group. To oversee that there are no creeps and crazies trying to join the community. They are not there to be a mother to people who are so clearly acting like spoiled children.

>>9371810
Do other comms have up to 1k members?

Also event space in new york for any group larger that 10 can be expensive. Venues here are also incredibly small for so many people.

>>9371811
Good job doing something once a year, a year ago? Holy shit what a fucking accomplishment. Please take a moment to look at replies from people from other comms about how their comms and leaders function.

If you dont want to be a comm leader dont be a comm leader?

>>9371810
I think it's a combination of several factors.
-Size
-General NY attitude
-Fast growing and rapidly rotating population
-Differences not just in location but also wealth

While several of those factors are common in other groups I think that the combo is jussst right enough in NY that you get this sort of friction.

>>9371814
San Fran has almost the exact same amount, with many other big city comms having around 500. And yet we only hear about NYC having this problem.

So, NYC lolitas, all this talk about how there's "no cliques" and I saw a suggestion for community enamel pins for "only us cool kids and not for the aspies" on one of the mods' private FB pages last year. Explain yourselves.

>>9371811
Still not hearing about what the mods besides Yanice do. At least she sort of tries. What do the rest of you have to justify yourselves with?

>>9371816
So then why dont you just talk to her about it? Instead of whining about it on an anonymous board?

Maybe step up and make a difference if you have an issue with all of this.

>>9371819
That's because individual comm members make meets. We didn't even have mods for years, and now that we do, they just handle the Facebook page.

>>9371810
Because NYC is legitimately much larger than any other comm. It's also the nature of NYers, everyone is really busy and doing their own thing. Which is fine, but like some people have said, why be the mod of the facebook page.

New mods should be chosen that actually want to do what is so obvious to every single other comm in the world lol
>>9371814
New York also has amazing parks and museums- not every meetup has to be a tea party. As if lolitas are the only organized community formed around a superficial reason in which otherwise strangers meet up somewhere in new york city.

>>9371829
So nothing. Proving point again. Thanks.


NYC is #1 shit "comm"

>>9371820
RECEIPTS?

>>9371831
I was talking about SF, fuckwad.

>comes to cgl to talk shit about not being part of the -clique-

Wow I wonder why you're not included. I can't see how.

Any Comms have plans to see Beauty & The Beast next month?

I don't understand the concept of having comm leaders and only they can organize meetups. Our comm has only a Facebook group, and everyone who wants can organize a meetup. You don't have to be a 'leader' to do this. Of course most people are too lazy and find excuses like "but I don't know anybody" or "I have no experience with organizing" ... it's not that hard to make a facebook event, reserve a table in a café, and if you all are so desperate for meetups, then surely people will attend. So maybe stop being lazy and get up your asses instead of complaining

>>9371830
Honestly even with big public places like a museum it just becomes a mess. That many "weirdly" dressed girls in one place just becomes a magnet for most people and tourists, it's hard to have fun or get to know other people when normies are constantly butting in. Plus most museums will get mad if you're attracting that sort of attention and will require you to break into small groups (making it even harder to meet new people) or leave entirely

>>9371839
Mine is. But it looks like it just might be a 2-person meet. All the same, I'm happy to rock my stained glass coord and my fave bag to the thing.

>>9371808
Where are you from where a meet/meet-up isn't synonymous with a get-together? And for the most part, they aren't planned through the comm page which is why people don't know about it and get bitchy later when they see pictures of it on facebook.

mfw waiting for someone complaining to actually do something about it.

>>9371862
lol but of course nothing is going to happen. all these people bitching and no one's going to step up and make a public meet. There's no restrictions to posting on the NYC page. Well? who's going to go ahead and make a public meetup? If you're so tired of the mods not being active, go ahead and do it yourself. You don't like the way things are, you can change them.

>>9371867
>>9371862

See >>9371493 Although for it to take this long and bitching and moaning before one person does something is still fucking sad.

>>9371820
SHIT. Someone sent me a screenshot of this so we can laugh about it together. I wish I didn't switch phones so I can post it.

>>9371820

Don't try to start shit without the evidence to back it up

Hello, I am a NYC Lolita mod. This is a very long thread so forgive me for not responding to everything. I find it is more productive to discuss these issues on a one-on-one basis, so if you have any questions or things you'd like to discuss, please feel free to contact me directly. This name is the same as my FB account so please message me there so we can talk this over.

>>9371874
So you basically just want to know who is posting this so you can shit talk us with your little friends? Lol no one is falling for that.

There is nothing to "talk over" as this is not personal drama. Multiple people just want better leadership. Just read the thread. Act accordintly.

>>9371878
>so you can shit talk us with your little friends

...

you got something to say, step up. you were given an invitation.

>>9371878

A mod literally had to take note and speak out to get feedback DIRECTLY from the person/ people who are complaining.

You wanted to start shit talking in public so own up to it. You escalated something that had no reason to escalate. Next time just talk to the comm itself instead of getting other people involved.

>>9369532
Why would even want to hang out with people like this?

>twinning event
>grandma on the left in pink not even trying

>>9371890

Apparently a lot because they came crying to 4chan about it lol

>>9371852
I have never heard of the term "meet" before I got into lolita. Normies just don't use it where I live? Meet-up, yes, but not meet. Maybe it's different in NYC, idk. But I only ever use that term when I'm going out with the comm. I don't go out to dinner with normie high school buddies and call it a meet. And yes I am being awfully pedantic here lol.

When I say through the comm page, I just meant handpicking from the comm or whatever. But there's no way to verify that/these people are probably all each other's FB friends anyway, bypassing the need for that.

Either way, I think I also have a better handle on how this "comm" operates. >>9371803 sums it up and it's clear that the "mods" want it to be the latter. Nothing wrong with what they're doing mind you, but maybe they should communicate that so people aren't expecting the former.

>>9371394
Where is this I would like to move there TnT

>>9367236
Too much stuff going on in Cleveland, not enough in Columbus. Nice group though

>>9371832
>>9371872
We're in autosage, but here's your receipts.

>>9371874
I'm not in your comm, but tl;dr it sounds like question posed here >>9371803 is something you need to discuss with your members.

The amount of NYC elitists that are butthurt in this thread is hilarious. You guys have been doing the same shit for years. You openly talk about how cringe the community is on your fucking facebooks and in person. Your meets also aren't just about friends you've invited me and other before based on looks or the person seemed noteworthy to you(blog / connections / ect) when you didn't even know us well(I'm a visiting lolita who lived in NYC on and off). You won't change so just own it. You girls are bitches and don't want to make friends or have an open community. That's fine but then LEAVE the main NYC comm page. Step down as mods. Or you are all hypocrites.

>>9371996
>don't want to make friends

so if you think all the NYC 'elitists' are bitches why do all of you want to hang out with them so badly? make your own meets, do your own thing. if you hate these girls, why the thirst to get into their crew?

>>9372019
Lol you obviously didn't read my post and you are obviously one of the people guilty. That was my first comment and as I said I WAS invited and I DID go to check it out. I went to one meet they invited me to - I didn't have the need to go and I didn't hate them. Didn't like their vibe together so didn't go again when they asked another time. Plain and simple. I'm currently not living in NYC at the moment as I said. I don't hate these girls some were nice to me but they just all gossiped too much and tried too hard for me to want to get closer. I'm just pointing out what I think is pretty obvious. They said (as shown in above comments) they have no interest to make friends so then why are they in the big group community anyway?

>>9372073

right, so simply being part of a Facebook group with about a thousand members obligates them to make friends with everybody else?

>>9372093
I'm not the sane anon who first replied to you, but you seem to be taking this rather personally. People have said repeatedly that they just want leadership to step out and organize meets with the main comm. Facilitate conversation. Etc. You know, like be a mod?

>>9372093 #
I'm not the same anon who first replied to you, but you seem to be taking this rather personally. People have said repeatedly that they just want leadership to step out and organize meets with the main comm. Facilitate conversation. Etc. You know, like be a mod?

>>9371353
She did the same to me, and I voted for someone else out of spite.

>>9372107
Yeah it's really obvious there's one or two of the girls being criticized trying to knock people down in this thread.

Stop repeating yourself sweetie. It really mostly became a thing when you came in to white knight!

>>9371787
Probably more likely if they have the same hobby, or its some type of performance hobby/art.

>>9372073
It sounds like they were friendly and inclusive towards you. What's the problem here?

>>9371810
HLC can have these issues too. Smaller scale.
The one time in particular I'm sure everyone remembers is the cupcake party with the infamous "there is only so many pictures i can see of becky cutely eating cupcakes". Something along those lines.

I have no interest of going to these meet ups but with supposed mods in >>9371977 saying "the people here are trash" and "let's make an item for our COMMUNITY but only for the people we like" is totally unacceptable.

>>9371968
You can organize something you know. Anyone can host meets. I'm not in Columbus and I work too damn much to host a meet anywhere but in my area.

It's a very toxic mindset to think "I am purposely not being invited to meet-ups,". It could be any number of reasons why you weren't invited, but it is definitely not an attack and you should never take it personally. No one is at fault, sometimes these things happen. These are a few reasons why you might not be getting invites:

1. Facebook does not show your entire friend list when you create an event. It categorizes into lists of "suggested friends" or "recently interacted with". Just being Facebook friends doesn't guarantee an invite. If you don't interact with the host or other lolitas, then you might not even show up in the options.

2. If Facebook isn't your thing, the same can apply to Instagram. If you are actively posting outfit shots around NYC for example, other NYC girls will take notice. Or, if you are new to NYC and see other girls posting photos in places that are near you, you can totally reach out in a non-creepy/begging way. "Hey, are you from NYC? I just moved here, etc"

3. "But I don't really use Facebook or Instagram!" Basically, if you are not active on some kind of social media, people won't know you are even INTO lolita. Same goes if you haven't posted an outfit shot in a while. Maybe you aren't being invited because the comm thinks you are no longer wearing the fashion.

4. "But I'm not new, I have already known some of the local girls and I'm still not being invited!" Ok, is there something you may have said in the past that is making them think "this person probably won't go, so I won't invite them"? For example, maybe you mentioned once that you work on Saturdays, so now no one is inviting you to meets on the weekend. Most meets in NYC are planned on the weekends because everyone has full time jobs.

>>9372643


5. If you are not being invited to meets and not willing to host your own, there are still ways to meet people. Go to local cons, Sakura Matsuri, Baby/Tokyo Rebel store events and tea parties, or larger east coast cons. Even if you're not into anime, this is a great way to meet people from the tri-state area. (Take your pick: Anime Boston, Katsucon, Otakon, Rufflecon, etc.)

6. If you won't express your grievances with the mods, you won't host your own meet-ups, and you are not willing to reach out or visit events where other lolitas go, how can you expect anything to get better?

>>9372139
Because clearly >>9372073 is not a piece of shit like them? She sounds like a decent human above looking down on others and gossiping. Just because they graced her with their invite doesn't mean she should kiss their ass if their behavior stinks to high hell?

It's good to see an insider's take on them.

>>9372643
Oh my good all you white knights are fucking retarded and lack reading comprehension. We DO make our own meets. We DON'T want to be in your clique.

We DO want a better community and leaders. How much more clear can we make this shit?

>>9372672
Wow... you are so mad. No wonder no one wants you at their events.

>>9371519
>THERE IS NO COMMUNITY AND THERE ARE NO LEADERS!
>how can we reprimand people?
Why are you even thinking of trying to reprimand people if you're not leaders? I'm on the west coast and I can smell the bullshit from here.

>>9365888
I know right I think we in the same comm. they also complain how expensive brand is

>>9368063
just as bad as each other