/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

>>9734352
That baby in the front. Seriously? Get a babysitter!

Is it unreasonable of me to think that people who are independently involved in lolita should get priority over plus ones at meets with a limited number of attendees? My comm is large but most venues allow a max of 20 people before it starts getting very expensive, so meetups fill up quickly. Lately there have been a lot of meets where spots have been taken up by members' SOs, siblings or friends who don't wear lolita unless someone lends them a coord. There were several people in our Christmas gift swap who didn't wear any kind of Jfash, which was not only awkward for the people who had to figure out a present for them but also for the lolitas who would have loved to be part of the gift swap but weren't able to get in.

I have no problem with people like this at more casual, open meetups like picnics or casual hangouts. Usually they're pretty nice. But when someone's little sister or boyfriend takes up a limited spot and thereby prevents an actual lolita from attending a lolita meetup, I get a little salty.

>>9734371
I don't think that's an unreasonable stance to take. Maybe a balance between member-only meets and more casual meetups would be a good compromise. The gift exchange sounds particularly strange to me, why would someone from outside the comm get involved in something like that?

>>9734389
nayrt but this reminds me of our comm, last year we started getting a lot of itas so we had closed meets for regulars and an "open meet" every few months but nobody wanted to have the open meets because it would be the same awkwardness every time.

>>9734366
No shit! And of course the mom is an ita.

>>9734366
Babbys are the best fashion accessory. This is fact.

>>9734458
no

>>9734463
>2008
Pls go

>>9734458
No they are not

>>9734371
My comm is having a gift swap later and I find to so weird to see names I don't recognize in the guest list. I have no idea how people are supposed to swap gifts with them and if they are able to give anything of quality back.

There is a popular lolita in my community that talks so much shit about other lolitas in one of the EGL discords. I wish I could share screencaps, but the only place I would be able to post proof would be on cgl since nobody would believe me due to my activity in the comm (<1 yr).

>>9735221
I personally go into something like a gift swap expecting nothing nice back so I’ve never been disappointed lol, but I remember from previous years that it was mostly the newbies giving really crappy gifts. Stuff like a box of pocky or several sachets of cheap tea, or really low quality handmade stuff. My friend once got a handmade brooch that was literally just a bargain bin Christmas ornament hot glued to a pin, and you could see the hot glue seeping through even from the front. I’m pretty sure she tossed it as soon as she got home because it wasn’t even worth regifting. Each year I hope I’m not paired with an ita or complete newb but if I am, oh well, set expectations to zero and you can only be pleasantly surprised.

>>9735234
Wouldn’t the screencaps speak for themselves?

>>9735234
>talks tons of shit in egl discords
o shid it's probably me

>>9735234
no one is popular dont kid yourself

>>9735234
Don't worry, anon, everyone probably already knows.

>>9735238
Isn’t there a value requirement for gift swaps? IMO if someone gives something that’s significantly below the value requirement they should be disqualified for next year. I can’t even imagine spending $20 or whatever on a nice gift for someone and getting back a handful of teabags.

>>9735238
I am so afraid of this happening as well, but the biggest issue for me is that I will not be able to hide the disapointment. If I go to a gift swap meet, I want to get the other person something they really like and will use. And if I would get cheap costume or childeren stuff, that I won’t use at all, I would feel so irritated. It’s not that I want top class items back, but it would be nice if someone put some effort in your present as well.

Since we are talking about gift swap meets. Is it weird to give secondhand brand stuff as a present? Not stuff from your own wardrobe or such, but something you bought especially for them? (No dirty or broken stuff of course.) I have zero skills, so I can’t make stuff myself.

>>9736427
There's nothing wrong with secondhand gifts; lolita in general is very welcoming to secondhand goods so I can't imagine someone having an issue with this, unless they're not a lolita themselves that is.

Does anyone know anything about the Chinese lolita comms, specifically in Shanghai? I'm going to be studying away in Shanghai for this upcoming semester and I plan on wearing lolita as much as possible. Is there like an international comm like they have in Japan or is it just regional based comms? Also what is the likelihood that they will actually accept me?

What's the worst looking lolita community? I'm not talking about just kinda bad, but like does inner city Detroit have a lolita community?

>>9734366
It's at a museum get over it. There are so many damn people in this photo im sure there were tons of little groups amongst them.


But boy do i have this comm related rant to get off my chest:
I much prefer a smol baby who you can shut up with a bottle or binki rather then your obnoxious bratty sarcastic 8 year old son you always insist on dragging to a meetup because your hisband is too much of an asshole to watch him for you to have friend time. I've left small meetups with close friends early when my kid was tired or bored, say for lunch and bail on the museum tour, SO WHY CAN'T YOU DONT MAKE YOUR KID AND YOUR FRIENDS MISERABLE JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HAVE FUN.
This is probably the reason why our comm loves my kid and cant stand yours.

>>9736612
Mississippi.

>>9736621
I'm not in your comm and I don't know you nor the lady you're bitching about but you both sound insufferable. Lolita meetups aren't for kids or babies no matter how well behaved they are, do your comm and your kid a favor leave them at home with your s/o or a babysitter.

>>9736629
GG.
I'm originally from Mississippi, I hope I didn't catch the ita~ness

>>9736636
Nayrt but im close friends with a lot of girls in my comm and some have children. When it's just "us friends" who end up going to a meet i dont mind them bringing their well behaved children. Its still fun and they always dip out early if their kids get fussy. I have a feeling i'm in the same comm as >>9736621 because there is *one* girl who doesnt understand boundaries like keeping an unhappy child around, or bringing them to a fancy resturaunt vs a more casual atmosphere, or the kid is whining and instead of taking him home she tells him to be quiet and put up with it. Again, we're a small close group, and the other girls dont try to bring their kids to larger meets where their children are around unfamiliar people.

>>9736629
Seconding

>>9736416
if they sell the same shitty crap on their etsy for 25.00...

>>9734371
not at all. Our comm is pretty strict lolita or egl only except for really relaxed meets such as checking out a festival or museum. We do host a jfashion walk a few times a year and i think there may be a jfashion group that meets semi regularly. Occasionally we get SOs but we know them or its when its preapproved and a few people bring their husbands to all get to know each other.

>>9736606
You could probably find a few forigners to meet up with, i feel like i see people asking this question often. As for actual chinese lolitas, you probably wont fit in well

>>9736621
>>9736644
This isn’t my comm, but there’s a woman in my comm who often talks about her kid and how she wants to bring him to a meetup to get to know “mommy’s friends”. She also talks about how much he hates lolita and how he throws tantrums when he sees her wearing it. I’m normally fine with kids, but the idea that she’d bring this obviously disruptive grumpy preteen to a meet of mine, especially without asking permission first, is literally a nightmare I have. She hadn’t done it so far (that I know of) so I hope she never will, but the way she talks makes it kind of obvious she’s not good at reading social cues so it’s still very possible and it’s giving me anxiety.
Unfortunately, the less capable the parent, the more likely their child will end up at a lolita meet up. I wish it was the other way around.

>>9736793
>but the way she talks makes it kind of obvious she’s not good at reading social cues so it’s still very possible and it’s giving me anxiety.

So next time she brings it up, be extremely direct. Tell her what a terrible idea it would be and tell her you hope she doesn't do that.

Why do lolitas have so many issues with being direct, are you that worried people will think you're autistic?

>>9735221
My comm had a White Elephant, and even though we had a bunch of new people joining in, the gifts were all pretty nice. It helps to set a budget for about $20, so that it forces people to at least get something decent, and you know you will get something ok back.

>>9736621
>our comm loves my kid and cant stand yours

No I'm pretty sure your comm doesn't care for you bringing your stupid kid either, and you are just too blinded by your special snowflake to see it.

>>9736810
More like they’re worried that the person they’re talking to is autistic and will throw a fit and label them a bully.

>>9736621
>This is probably the reason why our comm loves my kid and cant stand yours.

You sound like an insufferable mombie. And no, nobody wants a nasty infant at their meet, even if you can "shut it up" with an oral fixation. Babies are disgusting and smelly and ugly as sin. Keep them the fuck out of lolita.

Unpopular opinion but once you have a kid you're no longer a good fit for lolita fashion. This is a fashion for girls, not nasty ruined women.

>>9736823
if the person in question is actually autistic they will appreciate the directness

if they throw a fit and say anon is a bully then it's just an SJW dumb cunt, not an autist

>>9736828
Not necessarily. I’m autistic myself so not trying to shit on autists here, but I’ve met plenty of autistic people who can’t deal with criticism and get unreasonably upset when someone tells them not to do whatever it is they want to do.

I honestly think half my comm is autistic. I should start a tally. Most of them are kind, mature people, but some of them can be hard to deal with when they don’t get their way. I don’t blame some of my comm members for tiptoeing around them sometimes because who wants to deal with that kind of drama?

>>9734352
so that's the main london comm??? How do join

>>9736815
I think white elephants are the best way to go if you're getting a bunch of acquaintances or strangers together, even if there are stealing rules in place.

>>9736826
>This is a fashion for girls, not nasty ruined women
this so much

if you're a mum just shut the fuck up and be ashamed of it in a corner, why do people think being public about it is ok?

>>9736914
>>9736826
I'm not even a mum, but this stuff makes me sad. I want to have kids. I'd never involve them in lolita or bring them to meets, but knowing that if other lolitas would think this about me if they knew I had a kid is really depressing.

>>9736924
>knowing that if other lolitas would think this about me if they knew I had a kid is really depressing.
don't worry anon, i'm >>9736914 and i would never think of you in a negative light as long as you don't bring your kid to the meets.
being a mum is natural and normal, when i said it's not okay being public about it i only meant it's not okay to bring your kids
either way my opinion is unpopular, you can never please everybody but what you can do is at least try to respect your community

>>9736826
>>9736914
>This is a fashion for girls
This is an 18+ board. I'll take my mombie grown ass adult women in my comm over vile sopiled children like you any day.
I dont even want children of my own but that doesnt mean I have to be a disgusting human being. If friends go out together and one brings their kid and they all wear lolita, it doesnt automatically make it a "meet".

>>9736793
>This isn’t my comm, but there’s a woman in my comm who often talks about her kid and how she wants to bring him to a meetup to get to know “mommy’s friends”
Yeahh If they really were "mommy's friends" then they would of allready met. It's brain dead women like this that give all mom lolita's a bad rep. We use to have a girl like this in our comm but she eventually stopped wearing lolita and moved away, thank god. She was a really fun sweet person but god I could not stand her bratty pre-teen son and from what i hear now is he has gotten worse too. Glad we dont have to deal with her anymore.

>>9736914
>if you're a mum just shut the fuck up and be ashamed of it in a corner
>>9737013
>being a mum is natural and normal,

Shut up you twatwaffle and makeup your mind or quit dickriding the hate train because you think it maked you cool and edgy
>>9736924
Dont worry if people are going to hate on you for the sole reason of having a kod they arent eorth your time or company anyways. Find some mature adults in your comm to make friends with and not bratty judgmental children.

>>9737031
>Shut up you twatwaffle and makeup your mind or quit dickriding the hate train because you think it maked you cool and edgy
if you can't speak english, what makes you feel that you can verbally analyse my posts and attempt communication?

i do
1. think that being a mother is normal and natural
AND i still do
2. think that it's disgusting and that they should shut the fuck up about it
at the same time. shocking right?

Why do i get baited so easily god, is it my procrastinating nature

>>9736793
I'm sorry but I feel like I've read this story before- is this your second time posting about this?

>>9736810
>Why do lolitas have so many issues with being direct
I think its because of the amount of shit talking that goes on. Everyone is afraid they're gonna get turned on even tho they probably already have.

>>9736924
Its not just lolitas- where I live its pretty normal to be child free.

>>9737040
You replied to someone who used the term "dickriding." You look pretty dumb right now.

>>9737013
That's a relief. And yeah, the only baby I'll ever take to a meet is the dress I'll be wearing.

>>9737031
I never said lolita would stop me having kids. Just that being judged for having kids would make me feel sad. Those are two completely different things.

>>9737232
I don't care about random normies. I just really like my comm and want to stay friends with them.

>>9737311
>I just really like my comm and want to stay friends with them.
>wanting to be friends with people that don't truly like you

>>9737314
I think they like me. Reading this thread just got me worried that they wouldn't if I had a kid. But hopefully they'll never have to know... And I don't have a kid yet anyway, so I should just shut up.

>>9737311
Anon didn't say stop wearing lolita when you had a kid? If someone will judge you for having a kid then they aren't worth your friendship. You're obviously not ready to have a kid if you think those type of people would be worth keeping in your lives.

>>9737323
I agree, I'm really not. I'd like to have a kid in another ten years or so.

>>9737321
>Keeping a kid/pregnancy scecret from "friends" so they wont look down on you.
Are you for real? Please just sterilize yourself now. I love kids and babies but we dont need someone like you shitting up the lolita scene OR the mom scene.

>>9737328
Okay anon, let me just call up my gynae. I never knew that having irrational insecurities that will probably never affect my real life choices meant I should never reproduce, but now you've told me, I'll never make that mistake. Thanks! Off to get my hysterectomy now~

>>9737335
Thank fucking god.

Who's next?

>>9736826
You've got mommy issues. She didn't love you enough, did she.

Wow this thread got really uncomfortable. Can we go back to talking about comms now?

>>9736865
Seconding. I haven't joined a comm before but London is close enough that I could make it to meets.

>>9737499
is there a list or anything of uk comms? i can't find anything online

>>9737225
No, it’s the first time. Lots of other people from my comm post here though so maybe one of them talked about her before. I’ll check the archives.

>>9737523
The main Egl UK page used to have a list of them somewhere but it went missing a while ago and I think the London fb group is dead. Your best bet is to ask on the Egl UK fb page.

Which comm is the lemonade society? I keep running across posts of it in my insta but don’t understand- are they an Australian comm? It’s really small if it is, but I thought they were in Brisbane... which surely has a lolita comm bigger than like 8 people?

>>9737335
>letting a thread on 4chan effect how you think even for a second
Wew

>>9735221
My comm did a holiday gift swap this year. It was super obvious that the pairing weren't random. The coordinaters had us fill out questionaires and seemed to pair people based on what styles they wear and how long they've been in the comm. Worked really well!

>>9737658

Adelaide.

>>9734366
>wife went blind the year before I met her and took a long break from Lolita
>just getting back into Lolita now
>right after she had our son
>insists on bringing him with her, doesn’t want to leave him alone or with a sitter
I go with her to the ones I’m able to and just kind of chit chat or walk around with my kid but it gets awkward.
>she has on multiple occasions gone with baby and met a friend halfway or something to go the rest of the way
This is not a woman who has been blind her whole life, she’s very determined about this. Stressing me out big time and I’m worried about my parents finding out because I will never hear the end of it

>>9737328
>the mom scene

I don't understand how lolitas can have unplanned pregnancies (which they almost always are). You can afford a $300 dress but you can't afford a $300 abortion?

>>9738073
who the fuck would wear a fashion they cant see?

>>9738237
That's kind of fucked up to say. You're basically implying that it doesn't matter what blind people wear because they can't see it. They can enjoy imagining what they're wearing, and they can feel it, oh and they can you know, relate and interact, make friends and enjoy themselves like everybody else who goes to the meets.

>>9738219
I cackled like a middle aged woman just now.

>>9738219
And emergency contraception is only like $40

>>9738292
Well, that's a morning after pill, but let's say that anon is a retard and didn't think to do that much, could cost up to $1500 for baby dumping fees.

>>9737321
>But hopefully they'll never have to know...
I very rarely come to this board, but seriously, you people are absolutely fucked in the head

>>9737680
I hope my comm will do this with our gift swap. Last year I had to get a gift for someone I never met, who never came to meets, who didn't have any pictures of lolita on her FB and whose list was all over the place and super contradictory. I still don't know if she actually liked my gift. Her gift to me didn't include anything I could use, either. I hope I'll be paired with someone who I've at least talked to this time.

>>9736629
Thirding.

>>9734458
Agreed, I like to dress mine up to match my coords. Fancy paper dolls? Guess who's getting dressed up like a little bunny? Sweet cream house? Little bear ears. it's super easy to find cute stuff for kids. Muahaha.

>>9737321
>hiding parts of yourself in fear of being turned down
>friends

honey

>>9738219
I am really fit to the point where I don't menstruate regularly. Once went a year without a period. Didn't find out until it was too late to legally have one. Now I'm a momlita and yeah it fucking sucks but oh well

>>9736914
Your mom is the one who should be ashamed to be honest. Should have swallowed you.

I think kids at meets all depends on the type like other anons have said. Big meets and formal events-absolutely not. Don't go to a fancy tea shop or a museum with a kid. Casual events with a close knit group- sure but make sure your kid is well behaved and ask your comm first. That said, 9 times out of 10 it's a bad idea and don't be offended if they outright say no, and don't bring it if they seem at all uncomfortable since some people aren't great at saying no. Absolutely don't bring a child who can't sit for the full duration of a movie or a restaurant meal, or a toddler who is in the scream stage.

>>9738544
Jesus Christ learn to take better care of yourself. If you have irregular periods get on fucking bc or piss on a pregnancy test if a condom breaks. I do hope you use them otherwise you should really do the world a favor and sterilize yourself.

My local comm is dead and I'm pretty much fine with that. Most of the local lolitas I liked are gone or have different fashion taste now. Maybe I'll travel to meets held by a comm in a bigger city if I get tired of being a lonelita, but for now just running into other lolis at cons is more than enough. Never was fond of all the ita-handholding and thankless event planning a local comm brought, even in its heyday it was never that enjoyable. People who keep planning events for fairly small local comms, what keeps you going?

>>9738279
But just imagine the kind of shit color pairing people wear and they can see. 50 shades of lavender. It's a god damn nightmare and i can see what im doing!

>>9738544
>I am really fit to the point where I don't menstruate regularly

This is not fucking healthy. You're not "really fit" you're literally killing your body. When you stop menstruating, if you're not pregnant, it's a sign you're doing something extremely unhealthy.

>>9738237
>>9738647
She didn’t deal well with going blind, we met at the store I was working when she had a total fucking meltdown. Her brother had fucked off to talk to someone and she walked into a rack of clothes and tripped. She says she still feels pretty and likes the way clothes feel on her body, but more than anything it still something she loved and loves, makes her feel in control.

Her friends help her with her outfits and have been a godsend for me during Christmas and her birthday. Thankfully the community is very accepting of both the blindness and the baby, although there was one girl who was making a stink about it but she’s been talked to and I chalk it up to teenage bullshit. I hope this helps you understand

>>9738574
Those few people who do attend are my friends, and they do thank me for arranging meets. Otherwise I would have stopped.

I've almost got all the men out of my comm, I was able to ban one (he agreed to it if I also banned a girl that had been harassing him) and now I'm just looking to ban the other one.

>>9738659
sage but i believe most Olympic gymnasts and such dont get their periods, however theyre probably a small percentage who are doing unhealthy things anyway....

I moved basically as far as i can from my old home and comm and im pretty disappointed with my new local comm. I used to be bummed when a turn out would be only 2-8 people going to cafes or museums or something but now im lucky if the meet up is more than a photo shoot in a garden/park/somewhere free with dozens-hundreds of tourists staring at us. I met really nice girls from neighboring cities but most are too broke to attend meets or go to cafes in lolita. The turn out here is 4-7 people which seems intimate but im not sure ill ever get that close to them because they only want to do free stuff that focuses on photoshoots AND the mod is the only one allowed to create/host events.
They recently had a bigger event at a cafe but the tickets were limited and sold out quickly before i knew about it. Hopefully the good turnout will result in more prepaid events or cafe visits

>>9738686
All men need to be banned from Lolita Comms. They can't be trusted. They just turn into another John Leigh. DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY! GET MEN OUT OF OUR COMMS!

>>9738686
Spencer this is why no one likes you

>>9739450
Is he posting in 3rd person?

>>9739450
>>9739469
Idk but it does read like a butthurt man who desperately wants to believe his problems with his comm stem from misandry and not his own shitty behavior.

>>9739496
Actually, I'm going to agree with you. S would be stupid enough to start shit for the mods because he isn't involved in the comm anymore.

If that's the case S, you need to find a new hobby. You wanted to be banned.

>>9735221
At my comm gift swap you only buy something for 15 euro so you can't buy nice lolita stuff for that. Yet last year people came on here to complain about what they got anyway.

>>9738536
Enjoy this time, anon. Mine is already refusing to wear stuff I prepare for her. Got a strong fashion/colour sense for a 2.5 year old. I am kinda proud tho.

>>9738574
>People who keep planning events for fairly small local comms, what keeps you going?
Masochism.

Just kidding. They're good people and my friends, so even if it's a bit thankless at times I want to keep going.

Good stuff...KEK

>>9739538
again, stop trying to stir up shit

>>9739538
the guy was creepy and kept inviting girls in the comm over to his house

good riddance

>>9739545
But I’ve never invited anyone over. Please provide screen shot.

>>9739548
>provide screenshot of something you said irl
pls

>>9739550
>provide screenshot of something you said irl
That’s awfully convenient when I ask for proof.

>>9739558
Doesn't matter, you're just beating a dead horse at this point. We're glad you're gone. Go sexually harass someone else not in our comm

>>9739591
>Doesn’t matter
Only because you got called out for being a lying ITA.
~Ciao

>>9739558
because you know you said it irl, so of course there's no chat logs of it. grasp at straws more.

have fun being kicked out of the comm tho, i'm happy nobody else will be preyed upon.

>>9739596
I wasn't even the one who accused you, fucking walnut. Go jack off in your Porche.

>>9739608
Or the fact I’ve never said anything of that nature.
Also did you read the post?
Why would the MODS let a male back in if they thought he was harassing people?

>>9739617
Also I literally agreed to get banned if they also banned the girl...

>>9739621
>they didn’t fire me, I quit!!
If you’re so #notbothered about your ban, why are you still whining about it here?

>>9739617
You're already banned in two comms, S, but keep it up! Aim for more!

>>9739538
God damn good for you guys. What a mellodramatic whiny bitch.
>i am litterally tearing up right now
>I'll agree to get banned if she gets banned because justice MUST be served

As a mod from another comm i really feel for your poor mods for having to put up with this shit. Do something nice for them and buy them some macarons or something.

>>9739637
He tried to kiss ass by paying a bar tab once.

>>9739616
>go jack off in your porche
i wish i knew wish comm member you were so we could be friends. so glad other people are seeing what i see.

>>9739656
*wish i knew WHICH

>>9739656
To be friends with you would mean I'd have to lower my standards and associate with a fuckboy. Maybe if you could spell properly. ;)

>>9739654
Oh yea I forgot about that, I actually paid for the whole comms bar tab at that meet.

>>9739668
...i'm another girl in the comm who was complimenting you, not S. direct your salt towards the right person senpai.

>>9739668
I don’t get the whole spelling comment...

>>9739673
Whoops, sorry about that. I'll be at the next meet if you'd like to chat

>>9739674
They said wish instead of which

>>9739670
Not all, just a good portion. Nice try giving yourself asspats though

>>9739670
>>9739685
Our comm isn't just twelve people, dumbass. Try again

>>9739670
that's another thing S, you always bring up how much money you have and it's really tacky. maybe you're just socially retarded and try to buy people's affection, but i hope you've learned that it doesn't work.

Stop shitting up the thread

>>9739692
it's relevant to local comms, sorry you're getting called out.

>>9739670
>I paid for these bitches' drinks and they still don't like me??!!?

>>9739701
You have no idea who I am or who anyone else here really is

>>9739712
Everybody knows who you are ya perv

>>9739712
Bad ouji

>>9739734
Stay away ladies! Sexual assault!

>>9739743
didn't read
>>9739538

>>9739745
Actually I know the whole story. He sexually harassed a girl then harassed the hell out of the mods. Your best bet is to steer clear. Mini John here.

>>9739750
If that where true, than why would the mods let him back in? Either they're shitty mods or he's innocent.

>>9739753
How fucking retarded are you, Spencer, just quit now, that's not even remotely close to logic.

>>9739753
They didn't let you back in. You're BANNED, not suspended. You aren't innocent, you sexually harassed several girls in the comm, fucked one and then begged her to get a pregnancy test, harassed several mods every single hour during an important event because you were so paranoid, and now you continue to play the victim 7 months later. Get the fuck over yourself, you're not coming back to the group. Go get help for your sociopathic mentality.

>>9739758
>>9739750
Says the anon making outlandish false claims without a shred of supporting documentation.
>>9739764
Wait what...That's a pretty amazing troll.

This thread just reaffirms how glad I am that we don’t have any heterosexual men in our comm.

>>9739768
We've got the caps, you fucking moron.

>>9739775
Ok post them

>>9739740
>takes a picture of the versace tag
he's so fucking tacky i'm dying

>>9739768
Okie buddy

>>9739768
S, I really have to wonder what kind of outcome you expected. The truth is that your reputation as a socially stunted trust fund kid who thinks your money can buy you fashion sense and a lolita gf is very much the result of your own words and actions. I'm not sure if you just wanted attention or if you're just assblasted over your ban, and it doesn't really matter, because you are 90 percent of your own problem here.

>>9739740
>>9739734
He looks like a fucking creep.
My poor husbando shouldn't be disrespected like that.

>>9739782
>I'll show them bitches I own brand, bitches love brand

>>9739784
Note that he's causing a scene the week before the comm's biggest event of the year. He probably thought he'd be back in the group by now so he could attend

>>9739784
couldn't have said it better myself. i've only met him a handful of times but he's typecasted himself as the douchey rich kid. it's almost unreal how much he brings that caricature to life. why do that???

>>9739768
Congrats, S, you played yourself. *slow clap*

It's been a while since I watched a lolcow dig their own grave so beautifully, does my heart good.

>>9739782
Meanwhile he only owns the one pair of shoes

>>9739768
Listen to me, bro to bro.

It doesn't matter who was right or wrong, gulls understably get pissed when you blatantly use the egl scene to pick up girls. THAT is where you fucked up, the details are irrelevant.

Sorry but it's just something you don't do.

>>9739817
Probably all that will fit those flippers

>>9739877
>mfw he most likely made this himself
for what purpose

>>9739883
Same reason he posted screen caps of the conversation that got him banned. Attention

>>9739883
>>9739885
I don't think he's that stupid, it seems to be more of vendetta thread

>>9739898

brought it on himself. no one was talking about him before he decided to start shit-talking the dallas comm leaders. he gets off on attention. he's probably wanking it this thread as we speak.

>>9739898
>i don't think he's that stupid
anon i hate to be that person but if you've met him you'd know that he's that stupid. it's something you really have to experience in person.

>>9739877
Who is this guy and why does everyone hate him?
I'm so out of the loop these days.

>>9739913
weird rich guy in the metroplex comm who's overall rude, bad at socializing, apparently sexually harassed a girl, invites girls back to his house (i was there for one instance of that), and never shuts up about his money.

this isn't the biggest thing but he also posts pics of the price tags/invoices/records of stuff he buys, which is really weird to me. like it's one thing to be like, "look at this thing i bought!" (like how we do with wardrobe posts) but it's another to be like "look at how much i spent on all of these things i bought!" he would do stuff like that REALLY frequently and it left a bad taste in my mouth.

>>9739913
Typical trust fund fuckboy that somehow found Lolita and thought he could get a piece of ass from joining a comm. He did eventually get a piece of ass from a comm member at a con and then he tried to be the victim and wouldn't take responsibility for his actions, called the mods shitty when they wouldn't sympathize with him (or the girl he nutted), he got banned, and now that he isn't getting attention he decided to stir shit to play the victim again.

>>9739919
If I were him, I would join a local Toastmasters group and build up his social skills.

>>9738565
I was on BC, apparently it's not that uncommon. I found out afterwards it happened to a girl I know through a friend.

You guys have been warned

>>9739920
>he did eventually get a piece of ass
Whose standards would sink so low?

>>9739931
that girl has issues too, honestly

>>9739931
if you knew the girl in question you'd understand that too

>>9737632
ty, i'll give it a try

>>9739936
>>9739940
That's comforting actually, because I was afraid it was one of the actually sane members of the comm. Good to know it wasn't.

>>9739944
>>9739936
>>9739940
>>9739931
Yes, S is at fault for sleeping with her. However, she falsely accused him of soliciting to the mods. Mentally unstable or not she should've had some repercussion.

>>9739980
She was banned too,S. What, do you think the mods banned both of you and then added her back? Do you need proof that she's not in the comm anymore? Get the fuck over yourself.

>>9739877
Can confirm he infact made this

>>9740075
He made it and posted it to lolitahumor.

>>9739980
He didn't even sleep with her. he kicked her out because she smokes the good kush. Of course weed is evil when compared to premarital sex for the wholesome Christian puji

>>9740093
Thats news to me, I was under the impression the guy partied

>>9739920
I'd sleep with him desu, the drama makes it extra saucy. Especially for brand. He just needs to find the right slut.

>>9740140
S if you're gonna try doing this you need to know that no one actually talks like this, at least not about uggos.

>>9740140
Me too.

>tfw no ouji bf

How do you bring up odors to people? There's a girl in my comm that always smells like period blood and she shows up pretty frequently. Like how do you even bring that up? "go shower, you smell like dead fish and blood"?

"Does it smell like fish and blood in here or is it just me?"

>>9740148
hot

>>9740093
You’d have to get high or drunk to want to smash bad ouji. God the second he opens his mouth. He’s not the kind of guy you could take sober.

>>9740144
Shh, let him pretend since he's only got his hand,anon.

>>9740148
maybe pull her aside privately and tell her. maybe preface it with "I thought you might want to know this because I'd want to know if it was me" and then mention that you noticed she sometimes smells like blood. I'd leave the dead fish part out of it.

I did used to work with an older (obviously post-menopausal) woman who smelled like blood all the fucking time and who I'm pretty sure had a medical condition. so if you need a pretext for bringing it up, you could always say you're concerned that she might have a health issue she should get checked out. I also have a friend who smells fine, but her apartment always smells like blood even though it appears clean. she's lived in 3-4 different places since I've known her and every place she lives smells like that. no idea why. sometimes people get used to how their apartment smells even when it's strong enough to cling to clothes. so who knows.

most likely either the girl from your comm is completely oblivious, or she's aware of it and is already doing all she can about it. either way she will be grateful for your discretion.

>>9740093
He did. Then freaked out when she told him she hadn't checked herself for STDs in a while. Which led to him offering her money to get herself tested, just to see if he would need postexposure.

>>9740148
When I was in high school, there was a girl who smelled horribly, distressingly foul and a lot of people made fun of her for it behind her back. It was one of those body odors that followed her everywhere and lingered in places where she'd been, it was really bad. A friend and I went to the counselor about it and the counselor ended up talking to her privately, she didn't come to school for a week after that but when she did come back the odor was pretty much gone so I'm not really sure what happened in that time because I also get the feeling that her home situation had a lot to do with it.
If it's a problem other people have noticed and are bothered by too it might not be a bad idea to talk to a mod about it if you have one you feel comfortable talking to about stuff like this. Otherwise, I'd suggest doing what >>9740168
said and talking to her discreetly yourself. Unfortunately, you're running the risk of her feeling singled out and getting super embarrassed no matter who approaches her and she may stop coming to meets...which I know is probably low-key what you want but please be conscious of how this may affect her, especially if it's something she's aware of and can't control.

>>9738544
could of gave it up.

>>9738279
If i went blind, I'd still wear lolita.

>>9740168
>I also have a friend who smells fine, but her apartment always smells like blood even though it appears clean. she's lived in 3-4 different places since I've known her and every place she lives smells like that. no idea why.
Uh... does your friend have a history of sociopathic tendencies? ...Have people in her life mysteriously "disappeared"? You, uh... you may want to avoid being alone with her. Ever.

>>9740250
you know, that actually occurred to me for the first time as I was typing that. she has actually always struck me as a very empathetic person. she has a job upstate as a minister so I haven't talked to her in a few years.
>what if she only went to seminary so she could have a steady supply of victims
polite sage for off topic. but now I am always going to wonder.

>>9740184
Ugh as a mod this is terrifying to me, I don't think mods should fill the role of "middle school counselor."

I think if it were me, I'd probably just deal with her smell. You see her, what, once a month? Less? If she's an adult, there's probably a good reason she doesn't know how to fucking clean herself and she's not about to magically learn/care. I know some stinky fucking people, I just know not to get too close to them.

>>9740263
This. God forbid. Please don’t come up with horrible nicknames for her either.

>>9740148
If she has a glandular problem she probably knows already and there's not much she can do about it.
If it's just being unwashed (who wants to get undressed in an underheated house in this weather?) then there's a good chance she doesn't realize and someone quietly telling her might be doing her a huge favor.

>>9736826
>>9736914

Christ on a fucking cracker, is this some new version of 'lolitas must be lovelies'? Now not only must lolitas be lovelies, they must be sexless virginal and pure? And not 'ruined' by having children.
I know I'm probably just taking the bait, but considering there are people that are actually this stupid walking around I wonder...

I never get invited to meet ups with the cool girls in my comm

>>9740389
I used to think that “women who’ve had children are ruined” was something only misogynistic men thought, but I’ve been hearing it more and more often from other women especially in weeb and lolita circles. IMO not wanting kids is a perfectly valid life choice, but talking like a male chauvinist isn’t any more kawaii than being a mother. I wonder if their parents know about their feelings on this. Mom, you’re a disgusting used-up old hag who should be ashamed of herself. Love ya!

>>9738073
>married
>worried about my parents finding out
>?????

>>9740576
>couple finds out their precious grandchild is being carted around by an inexperienced blind woman
>"son! How could you let this happen! What if your baby is hurt!!"

Something like that?

>>9740389
>>9740542
Idk what it is about children that makes some anons foam at the mouth so much. I know a good portion of that stuff has to be bait, surely. But it's never enough to say "kids do not belong at meetups because x good reason" or "I do not want children and as long as people respect that I respect their choices if they do have children". It's always "pregnant lolitas are disgusting whores! It makes me feel burning hatred to gaze upon your shame" and "you ruined your body and your offspring is an insufferable crotchgoblin" and on the opposite end "my loud grumpy eight year old needs to meet mommy's friends so you betcha I'm taking him! He's soooo well behaved! How dare you hate on my perfect angel! Geeeeez!"

I understand why people would be bitter if they have assorted bullshit like "women are designed to be mothers" and "you'll change your mind shoved down their throat 24/7 but the backlash is so damn vitriolic, you've freaked out poor >>9736924 into thinking her comm's gonna hate her lmfao. Unruffle your petticoats senpais.

>>9740528
Dress better and be yourself. If they don't like you after that they're not worth your time anyway.

>>9740148
like others have said, it may be a condition but it might be worth bringing up somehow. i had a friend who always seemed to smell like pee and canned tuna fish. Later in life, she admited to having almost no control over her pelvic floor muscles. Anyway, i think people never directly told her she smelled and she figured it was like how you're always paranoid when your on your period and you feel like you can always smell it or the scented pad youre using but no one else can..... except she actually stunk and it took someones parents accidentally loud complain about "rotten eggs and piss" smell as we loading into the car in a parking lot sorta next to a dumpster for her to realize it was actually her, and her guardian wasnt being a bitch trying to make her shower everyday she was trying to help her.

We have a sweaty/BO girl who comes to con meet ups but we just generally cop it up to con always falling on really hot weekends and the convention center being indoor/outdoor.

If you're really determined, i would maybe pull her to the side and whisper ask if she needs a pad or tampon because you think she might be leaking. It might be that she only wears pads, has them in all day/morning without changing them so the stink begins. Maybe if this is the case and you give her a new one, shell take it and check in the restroom and change it, even if she didnt leak.

>>9739521
15 euro isn't much but the person complaining last year got a really crappy handmade thing that wasn't even worth 1 euro

>>9740646
I don't understand the vitriol, either. Afaik nobody in my comm has ever taken a child to a meetup and I agree that that's probably for the best, but some girls hate children so much that they can spot a sleeping baby in a stroller more than ten meters away and start bitching about how their day is now ruined because they've been in the vicinity of a "fucktrophy". They even do this in places like theme parks, where yeah no shit there are going to be children. I've even been called insane and a "breeder" to my face because I mentioned that my fiancé and I would like to have one or two kids in the far future. I never said I was going to bring the baby to meetups or even that I'd still be attending them at that point. For how much these people despise children, they sure act like tantrum-throwing little brats themselves.

>>9740696
You spend too much time with crazy people. I have never heard that and have 2 kids.

>>9740696
Male anon with a 10 month old daughter here. Since I became a father, I've quickly noticed that some women get really weird whenever the topic of me having a kid gets brought up in conversation. They'll immediately start telling me how hard it is to have kids (despite not actually having any themselves) and how I must be so stressed and how I must hate my life. Then when I respond with something along the lines of "well actually, it's been okay so far" they get borderline mad and start insisting that no, I'm wrong and having kids is literally the worst thing ever. I usually just change the subject because the more I try to tell them otherwise the more angry they get.

And the relationship is permanently tainted from then on because they will constantly bring up the fact I have kids (in a negative way) at every opportunity they get. "Oh you're feeling stressed? Yeah having kids must be hard" "Oh you're not going out tonight? Yeah well sucks to be a dad huh"... etc. It's got to the point now where I try to avoid bringing up the fact I have children because I don't want to risk ruining a relationship with a female that I get along with.

I don't really understand why some people are like this. I have a few theories but that's about it. It sucks

>>9740718
I try to avoid them as much as I can, believe me. But there were people like this at my uni, too. Any time the subject of pregnancies and kids would come up I’d get an earful from fellow students about how having children is the worst choice a woman could possibly make and I’d be ruining my body and my life forever yada yada yada. Again I fully support anyone’s choice to not have children but goddamn let me eat my lunch in peace.

>>9740724
That’s so weird. Maybe these are women who are constantly told that they ought to be having babies and this is backlash against that, but it’s pretty immature if they’re taking that out on you. I hate it when people try to twist someone else’s experiences to make them fit into their own narrow worldview. Maybe having a child would be miserable for them, but that doesn’t mean it’s the same for everyone. You’d think lolitas would understand this, since we often get questioned by people who don’t understand what we could possibly like about lolita. Different strokes for different folks, right?

>>9740646
honestly, it makes me want to have a child just to bring it to a meet to piss off the girls i know feel this way.

>>9740389
being a mother is literally the only reason we exist. This woman at my job just took extended leave for 'personal issues' which I was told by her friend meant 'she's barren now and can't ever have children'. You shouldn't have to just give up everything you do to have children but you're gonna fucking feel it when you can't have them.

>>9740696
Among some of the others I've seen here, what a horrific fucking view. It's almost like women who believe this may have something wrong with them.

>>9740829
>literally the only reason we exist
Stop. You're just as bad as the crazies mentioned here if that's a serious belief of yours.

>>9740832
Thankfully they're not going to have children.

>>9740829
I'm infertile, guess I'll kill myself

>>9740998
I mean you might, but you'll at least have the time to come to terms with it and not realize you wanted kids way too late

>>9740696
>>9740832

I don't have kids and I don't really want them, but what the fuck. Maybe because I work with kids, but what kind of fucked up view do you have to not have the insight that you also are also someone's child. Newsflash: we're all progeny of someone. I get not liking crying or whining kids, I absolutely get that. That's why I'm not choosing to have any because I know I don't have the patience. But absolute generalised vitriol to something you once were I don't get.

>>9740998
you don't have to be fertile to be a parent.

>>9740389
Sexless, virginal and pure? I never said that. I said that once women have mothers they're ruined. Have all the sex, just don't have kids.

>>9740724
Maybe because people are finally realizing that having children is disgusting. You're ruining the planet, and your child is destined to live in a dying planet, no thanks to disgusting breeders like yourself.

Parents should all be ashamed. Fuck you and your nasty breeding fetish. Men with children are just as worthless as women with children, maybe even moreso, because dudes can't give the kid away and are financially obligated to their brood mare for 18 years.

>>9741052
>But absolute generalised vitriol to something you once were I don't get.
thats the weirdest part to me, I'd expect more empathy from people but I guess no one can really remember being a baby but can sort of remember being a snot nosed 8 y/o

>>9741052
People with this mindset REALLY don’t like to be reminded that they were once children themselves. It seems to tick them off even more than shit like >>9740829. I honestly think at least part of the vitriol stems from envy; they can’t deal with the fact that they’re adults now, with adult responsibilities who are held to higher societal standards of behavior and dress. It would explain why I’ve mostly encountered this mindset in hobbies like lolita and cosplay which, let’s be honest, attract a lot of childish people.

>>9741064
>have mothers
So we’re ruined from the moment of conception onwards? I’ve heard that one before.

>>9741074
Most of us hated children when we were children and only got along with adults. I actually have nothing wrong with children. They didn't ask to be brought into a dying planet with no hope. Neither did I, for that matter.

>>9741071
Unlike you, who is saving the planet by buying frivolous dresses made with unnecessary fabric, dye and lace and has them shipped halfway across the world.

>>9741077
>most of us were miserable antisocial cunts even as children
I believe you.

>>9741078
Ah yes let's go ahead and compare a person who already has to deal with the curse of existing to people who are literally cursing innocent souls to misery and hardship

I'm all for making the lives of those already in existence amazing. It's the selfish fuckers polluting this already severely overpopulated planet with their fuck trophies that are to blame. The only parents who deserve respect are the parents of adopted children. Breeders should feel ashamed.

>>9741082
So you get to do whatever you want to further pollute the planet without having to take any kind of personal responsibility because abloobloo you never asked to be born, am I understanding you correctly?

>>9741082
I have to agree with the crazy here. If more people were ashamed to breed, we wouldn't be in the type of deep shit we're in on a planetary level.

Kids aren't at fault. The kid-hate is misdirected and it makes me sad. It's the parents who are to blame.

>>9741092
>comparing buying dresses to literally shitting out another human being who will consume resources for 70+ years

Yeah that's fair

Is the notion that breeding is inherently selfish REALLY such a radical concept? It seems pretty obvious to me.

>>9741095
My country’s economy has spent the last few decades suffering the effects of an aging population and we’re only just starting to recover from that. I agree that people shouldn’t be popping out kids willy nilly but if everyone in the developed world suddenly went infertile right now, none of us would get to enjoy our old age.

>>9741107
Why not, we could import immigrants from countries where they're breeding like crazy. It's a win-win for the planet and for the people of developing nations to get a shot at a better life.

>>9741107
This is a really shortsighted view. Just because your corner of the world has an aging population doesn't detract from the fact that on a global scale we're severely overpopulated. Why encourage breeding when you can encourage immigration.

>>9741071
Who hurt you babe?

>>9741071
Youre right. Your parents should ve ashamed and you should kill yourself so the planet has one less person to worry about sucking up the oxygen and using its resources

>>9741117
Take a human geography class you fuck nut. The world birth rate as a whole is rapidly decreasing. Most developed countries arent even at a 1:1 replacement rate anymore. As countries become more developed and educated, people have less need to populate. The USA allready relys on immigramts to keep a steady population, but you how well some of the country reacts to that. Japan allready has a huge older population and hardly any younger people to replace them once they go, so we're going to see the effects of that within the next few decades. Shit i mean China allready tried to curb their populatuon and are getting fucked by it. Im all for people not having more then one or two kids, not having kids at all, or adopting since i was adopted myself, but you just sound flat out uneducated and very ignorant.

>>9741064
You say this like it somehow makes your opinion less distasteful.

>>9741071
Your parents must be so embarrassed to claim you. Or maybe they don't anymore, that would explain some of this crazy.

>>9741077
>They didn't ask to be brought into a dying planet with no hope.

Don't make like you're some kind of hero saving the environment when really you're just a bitter, annoying cunt with a stupid opinion.

>>9741101
Yes. Are you really too stupid to see the irony in saying this?

It's also wrong because raising kids is an inherently selfless act. The definition of selfishness is that you only care about yourself, idiot.

>>9741395
It's selfish when you consider the amount of homeless and orphaned kids.

>>9741395
>raising kids in inherently selfless
>so many people talk about raising mini versions of themselves and try to mold their children into what they want

>>9741395

>>9741395
People usually have children for the wrong reasons like they don't know what else to do with their lives and now they're in their 30s so guess its time to start poppin em out like everyone else.

Totally selfless right?

>>9741218
What's going to happen exactly? Just dying out entirely? Its all gotta end at some point.

>>9740724
>its been ok
So you're ok with cleaning up shit off your kids genitals on a regular basis??

>>9741447
Diapers dont last forever dumb ass. Do you think you came straight from the womb shitting in the toilet? I dont think so.

>>9741487
Not my point.

Having to wipe it out of someone's genitals ever - no thanks. That would never be "going ok" in my book. Dude is delusional.

Anyway great comm discussions guys

>>9741513

You should kill yourself before age 65 then, save people from wiping your geriatric ass. Maybe you should have been aborted. Jesus christ, it's a fucking fact of life.

>>9741543
Defensive much?

>>9741543
Calm down. All I'm saying is that raising a kid is disgusting. Literally.

I don't want to live that long anyway. Growing old doesn't sound appealing.

>>9741557
And all I'm saying is that your opinion is bad and you should feel bad about it.

>>9741447
It's really not that big of a deal. When it's your child, it's different. You don't mind cleaning your own ass right? It's the same thing with your child. But of course you'll just get even more mad and call me delusional because you're exactly the kind of person the original post was describing

>>9736636
>>9736826
I dislike children and babies as much as the next gull, but literally if everyone at the "meet" or small gathering consents to having a kid brought along then really who the fuck cares? You sound terribly triggered there, friend.

Saw a discussion in my comm recently where people said that clicking on attendance for a meet is just a way to show interest for the meet itself. Needless to say it raised the hackles of the people who usually host meets since tables are booked for these people who doesn't even care to show up to the events where they clicked on attending. Why do people even deal with hosting meets anymore?

>>9741640
What, you can just click on the maybe button and show interest and not give any false expectations of actually showing up.

>>9741640
Yep, I've been the host in this situation. Apologizing to a company for several empty seats/unfulfilled reservations after they went through all the trouble of getting ready for a large party super uncomfortable. Please don't that to your hosts. The only way I'll ever run a meet now is getting everyone to paypal me the cost of their ticket/food/whatever in advance. That's bit me in the ass too, of course, as one time there were 'convenience fees' that weren't present anywhere on the site except the final check out screen.

That being said my comm has no interesting meets coming up. There are only so many times I can get exited about going to a sushi bar. Anyone's comm have an exciting meet idea that I can shamelessly steal?

>>9741640
I've been the host in this situation. Apologizing to a company for empty seats after they went through all the trouble of getting ready for a large party is super uncomfortable. Please don't do that to your hosts. It's just as much a lateness issue because 'who cares if I'm an hour late as long as I'm kawaii' as it is no-shows, though. The only way I'll ever run a meet now is getting everyone to paypal me the cost of their ticket/food/whatever in advance.

That being said my comm has no interesting meets coming up. There are only so many times I can get exited about going to a sushi bar. Anyone's comm have an exciting meet idea that I can shamelessly steal?

>>9741640
There is a maybe button and an "interested" button.
Theres no reason for people to be clicking going anymore/for this to be a problem.
Interested may not pop up if youre invited but there is still a maybe option.

>>9741415
Oh? How many are there? You prob don't know. Let me tell you.

There are only 25 million orphans in the WORLD, in a population of 8 billion. About 3%. The majority of those are being cared for temporarily and don't require adoption.

Lets look at England, out of 65,000 looked after children only a fraction, around 4,000, in a pool of 53 million, actually require adopting, most are in just in temporary care while its decided which parent, relative or guardian they will live with.

There are very few babies available for adoption too, and many of those who are given up for adoption due to having severe disabilities.

Also the state expects potential adoptees to care for the child above the standard (Example, they cannot share a room with a sibling).

Child care is a hugely complicated mix of ages and circumstances. It's not a shop you go into to pick a perfect baby/child off the shelf that they just give you for having a charitable heart.

The fact you think adoption is a replacement for birth is absurd.

>>9741420
>so many people talk about raising mini versions of themselves and try to mold their children into what they want

Thats called....parenting. You raise children with the same beliefs, morals, and values you have because thats what you know.

I don't understand what you are trying to say. You want parents to teach kids the things they....don't know? What?

>>9741686
>"the state expects...."
Depends on the state. I know someone whos a "foster mom" aka welfare hag that has always had 5 kids at once in a three bedroom, two in each room and a baby in her bed room. AFter cycling through not so great ones for years in temp care she eventually adopted 4 of them and one was her birth son.
The government pays for everything she has.

Foster care is a sad thing, and she did fight to adopt the kids in the end and shes strong for doing all that she did for the kids....but she got a tax return (somehow....?) for a 10k and took all kids to disneyland and stayed at the disney hotels for a week....

sage because off topic but this is pretty normal for foster parents in my state

>>9741437
I don't understand, your saying that wanting to have kids is the ....wrong reason for wanting to have kids?

Isn't that the best reason? Do you need a reason outside of that? What would these reasons be?

>>9741690
>Adopts 4 kids and takes them to Disneyland

Sounds like a rousing success story.

>>9741692
>>9741687
Don't try to reason with emotionally broken people.

Let them wallow in their misery

>>9741441
Yeah, I mean its not like this is the first time in history half our population isn't dying to disease, famine or war. But a slight decline in birth rates in a population of 8 billion?

Guaranteed extinction right there folks.

>Yall are still talking about kids?
Let's get back on topic ffs, anyone planning meets for the new year soon? I always wanted to ring in the new year with my comm for a lolita NYE meet up but everyone has their own personal stuff to do (which is understandable). How would you guys feel about a midnight meet-up to celebrate new years? Would it even work?

>>9741640
People who click "going" when they're not actually planning to go annoy me so much. I've been to meetups where the host expected over 20 people and contacted the venue in advance to make sure this was okay, but then only 4 people showed up including the host. Lately I've noticed meetup organizers directly contacting people on FB to verify if they're coming or not a week or so before the meetup. Tagging them in posts or sending PMs. It shouldn't be necessary, but I think it helps.

>>9741678
>>9741680
This! There are also a few people in my comm who are always at least 30 minutes late and every time it's a question of whether they're going to show up or not. Someone who's always late combined with flaky use of the "going" option must be a host's worst nightmare and I wish people like this were called out on it more often.

>>9741395
>raising kids is an inherently selfless act
Well, sure.

The decision to have them in the first place is never inherently selfless though. There's a lot of factors to take into account there, so I don't think people can be 100% selfless when choosing to have a child.

However, I also don't think it's inherently selfish to have kids either.

>>9741447
It's gross, but not downright disgusting. You get used to it, and get desensitized. Like people working with animals, or people in medical fields, or nursing. Are you going to shit on people for choosing a profession that will encounter body fluids and claim it ruins them?

>>9741687
I think anon might be referring to the controlling type of parents who try to dictate everything their child does, esp. when older "You HAVE to win the football scholarship because I failed. You HAVE to go to med school" etc. But as far as values go, yes, you try to give your child the ones you deeply care about, the ones that you think make you a good person, since, y'know, that's kinda the goal. To raise a good person.
to be honest when your child refuses to do something without reason it's hard to accept but I have to remember that even a toddler is an individual. Bedtime or choice of meal? No compromise kid, each your fucking veggies. But if I bring out the purple dress and she screams "NO PURPUUU" I'm not gonna put her in it, I'll work with her to find an alternative.

>>9738665
I think its nice that you and her comm are so willing to help her still enjoy the things she loves.

>>9741678
>>9741680
Unfortunatly even with paid meets there are people who end up not paying in the end. I have seen hosts hold lists with almost half of the people strikethrough because they never paid or canceled last minute. Most of the time the latest payment date is after the hosts have informed and paid the venue. They could make the date earlier, but in my comm people would definitly complain, as for some it seems to be really hard to plan things way ahead. But it doesn’t suprise me if the only reason they want to pay late, is so they can still spend that money on something else and bail out. (Even though it’s never a very high amount.)
As for people saying going instead of maybe, I have no idea why they do that. Some claim they do it so they can look at the photos later, but I have no idea why they won’t say maybe instead. It really bugs me!

I wish there was a way to call them out. Some hosts decided th stop inviting them and kept the meets of the comm page. But that only caused more drama, while the people for who it was intended weren’t even bothered by it.

>>9741690
How did she get government support after adoption? In my state the government cuts all ties with you and the children once adopted. Kids tend to get juggled from foster to foster, you often see the same foster woman with at least 2 kids at a time regardless if its the same 2 kids or not, because they keep picking up checks for the kids. Ive only known 2 people to actually adopt their foster kids, one was an estranged grandma, and the other was probably the sweetest lady i know who adopted really troubled kids. But even though the birth mother was mentally ill and a drug addict it took years and years of fighting in court to even allow them to be adopted. Then all gov help dropped. It's so hard to adopt kids here, it's really sad. Becaise there are a lot of people here that want to but the state just wont allow it.

>>9741758
We have a three strike rule. In order to avoid getting a strike in case of a no-show you are required to pay back the hostess within a week from the time you find out you cant go after the reservation deadline. But a lot if girls have just started collecting money beforehand, which seems to work well too.

>>9741758
When that happens, do the hosts post about it on the comm page? Even if the people who canceled last minute or didn't pay aren't called out by name, it might make them feel embarrassed enough. And if the meet was full, maybe other people want to replace the ones who cancelled.

>>9741690
>sage because off topic
how about stfu

>>9741779
I don’t think they do and it’s mostly too late for them to still ask the ones on the waiting list.

>>9741767
welfare/food stamps for the most part but also when you adopt theres there tax write off up to 13k depending how much you make in a year, and she writes letters to non government grants.

>>9741758
our comm usually doesnt make the reservation or pay until the cut off/after, and then anyone who wants to make it after that can try to buy out someones spot if theyre sick or cant make out. But most of our members are over 23 with jobs or careers so it ends up being people lose their money by getting sick more than people flaking. But this only goes for ILD tea parties and comm anniversary, otherwise we go places that dont need reservations or only do same day reservations and then take the count the night before or that day.

>>9741687
Are you autistic? Anon clearly meant parents who try to micromanage their kids' lives with no regard to their interests and personality. Of course if you have a child you actually need to raise it or you get a nonfunctional human being. Part of why I'd never have one, no way I want to be saddled with that hellish responsibility.

>>9741800
Some people don't go to meets because they prefer to plan last minute. So if someone cancels one day beforehand, someone else might still be interested.

>>9741640
My comm does something similar to >>9741801 for our cafe/restaurant meets.

We don't have many places that can accommodate a large party (anything above 8 pax is considered large here), so the host will scout locations, then decide on a maximum attendance cut-off as well as a set hi-tea menu that attendees have to pay in advance. I've been to meets where the host collects a sort of 'deposit' of $20~ which attendees can use as pre-paid credit at the cafe/restaurant.

People will then sign up either by a Google form or pm-ing the host.

Those who sign up after the cut-off has been reached, will be placed on a waitlist. Depends on the host, those who don't aren't on the list or waitlist will get booted off the event page so we don't get lurkers stealing meet pics afterwards to post to cgl.

It feels a bit formal once I've written it out, but it really helps with flakes, people who end up spending all their money the day before and can't make it, as well as salty lurkers.

>>9741640
thats why the meets in my comm are all prepared and none refundable. its up to the person that can no longer come to find someone on the wait list to take their place or they're out their money. keeps people from flaking as often but lateness is just forever an issue with at least one or two people

>>9741708
I don't think a midnight NYE meet could work on the actual NYE. A lot of people would already have family and friend obligations. If it isn't on NYE I can see it working if you live in a warm climate. I live where it snows, and driving in ice and darkness while tired would probably turn a lot of people off.

>>9741758
What do you mean people don't pay you? Are you just paying for them at their word? No, give them a date a few days before the event they must have the money in by. Once the date comes make a reservation for the number of people who have paypaled you, and post on the page no one else is allowed to join. If someone drops it's their responsibility to find someone they take their place.

>>9741395
Nothing selfless about bringing someone into this world.

>>9741107
People in 3rd world countries need to stop having kids.

>>9742606
>>9742612
Can we stop talking about this subject now, thanks.

>>9742616
Reporting them desu

>>9741729
>It's gross, but not downright disgusting. You get used to it, and get desensitized
WOW YOU'RE REALLY SELLING ME ON THIS.

Fucking retard. Why do people with kids or people who like kids love to try and preach at those of us who think its gross?

Its not worthwhile to convince me moron. I'm always gonna think you wiping shit of your kids junk is gross and if you told me "its going ok" I'd laugh in your face.

>>9741888
Love that you boot those not on the list. Tbh I didn't even know that was an option on facebook event pages. Great way to emphasize that comms are for meet ups, not for lurker's entertainment.

>>9741692
It is never a good idea to have kids because it is considered normal. I don't want everyone to stop having kids however I do want people to have kids because they truly want them.

When you have a child they never go away until they die. You have to keep helping them way past the legal age limit. Even after they have kids.

I feel like most people don't realize the dedication that goes with it and thats why I despise most parents.

>>9742601
No, I was talking about some other hosts, who ended up already having a venue reservation that couldn’t be changed and then had a lot of canclations/people who stopped responding after the payment request. The meeting still went on but the location was too big for the amount of people that came.
With restaurants and such you can still call and make changes to the reservation. It’s not that hard to make less food. (Of course you have to contact them a week prior and mostly pay around that time or afterwards.) With venues it’s also possible to make changes, but you mostly can’t change the venue itself anymore. Especially as most venues require a down payment and mostly the payment date of such venues are relatively early, so you have to pay them before the latest payment date of the tickets. So you still end up in trouble if some don’t pay their tickets, you can downscale on the food but not the location itself. The onyl trouble is, that, in our comm, you can’t make the payment date earlier as most people seem incapable to plan/pay that far ahead. In our comm the latest date is mostly a month or less before the meeting takes place. So too little time to still make big changes. They do contact people on the waiting list, but mostly that’s less than two weeks before a meeting and this always seems to be too late for most people on that waiting list. (Also a lot of them respond late and such, so this process with spare tickets never really works.) The people who do pay for the ticket, but then don’t go aren’t even bothered to sell them,‘cause they can’t.
But I have to say the people in my comm are very hard to deal with. They complain about pretty much everything, they are extremly disgraceful to the hosts their work. But,they never try to organize something themselves!
A lot of people stopped hosting meetings because of the behaviour of others, only a few still try, but that’s because there won’t be any meetings if they stopped.

>>9741708
Personally I would love to have a NYE meet, but that's because I don't really go out or have anyone to celebrate it with. Fun games like predicting a new trend for each month or creating a new AP bloodbath print could be fun.
>tfw no fellow lonely people to have fun on NYE with

Anybody in Australia going to the Rin Rin meet? I don't think anyone in my comm is going

>>9743408

Looking at the guest list it seems like only Sydneysiders are going. No way they're going to get even half the maximum attendees.

>>9743408
>>9743410
No one here in SA cares

>>9743410
what's the max ? i was thinking about going but I haven't gotten paid yet

>>9743432

105. They only have like 35 people going.

>>9743408
We finally get a proper lolita guest after how many years and people can't even fork out money to attend? Real slack guys....

>>9743450
"proper lolita guest" lel

>>9743450

Have you forgotten about Misako's high tea already?

>>9743453
Better than having none ;)

>>9743450
on the bright side, it means RRD can spend more time with each of the guests (the ones who bought VIP anyway)

>>9743454
that was .. about 3-4 years ago?

>>9743433
where did it say that? isn't stamford a small venue ?

>>9743408
Sydney is known for being expensive, I don't know why everyone thinks the tickets should be cheaper ?

>>9743415
Stay salty then.

>>9743462
it's obvious from the lack of attendees that no one has any interest in RRD

>>9743459

My bad, I misread one of the posts on the group page. If they booked the Elizabeth room like last time max capacity would be 100.

>>9743415
I don’t think anyone gives a fuck about SA either, your comm is full of itas who post way too often on COF

>>9743465
This. She’s some bird-faced American who got lucky, I hardly consider her a lolita guest. Misako and Midori at least contribute to the fashion and never tried to push any neo-lolita nymphet shit.

Newfag here but what is the AZ comm like, specifically in the Phoenix Scottsdale area? I might be moving there soon.

>>9743415
isn't SA full of cosplay lolitas? ever since the main brandwhore got married and knocked up it's been downhill

>>9743450
>>9743453
>>9743454

I would take any guest at this point, it's one step closer to having brands come here and set up shop.

>>9743408
I’m from Queensland and I haven’t heard of the event until now. When did they first announce this?

>>9744075
It's in the Aus Comm, Tbh I'm excited. I never got to go to the Misako one

>>9743995
AZ comm is for the whole state, but the majority of people live in the greater Phoenix area (Mesa, Tempe, Scottsdale, Phoenix). The comm is pretty active with 1-2 meets a month and con season starting up.

>>9736840
>but I’ve met plenty of autistic people who can’t deal with criticism and get unreasonably upset when someone tells them not to do whatever it is they want to do.

t. bad makeup thread autist meltdown

>>9743415
Wow I forgot that SA existed for a moment there

>>9744059
Invite Haenuli or an indie brand maybe? Might be a good stepping point.

>>9744059

I remember it being mentioned a while back that it'd cost about $2000 to bring Baby over. Problem is nobody -- including conventions -- wants to cover that sort of cost.

>>9744113
>you're an autist if you don't blindly follow everything you're told to do
What is this fucking logic and why do I see it so god damn much on this board?

>>9744130
having Haenuli as a guest or RinRin ? I would prefer someone without the drama

>>9744130

Does anyone in Australia even wear Haenuli?

My comm sucks the all support John and anime matsuri. They kiss his ass to get stuff. We all saw how bad anime matsuri Hawaii turned out

>>9744130
Didn’t Haenuli attend SMASH! two years ago?

Missing my small town comm that held monthly meets lately. Living in a big city has its perks, huge meets with great attendees, but those are few and far between. I have so many dresses waiting to be worn out. I've been trying to work up the confidence to wear them whenever I please, doing that tomorrow!

>>9744212

They didn't actually attend - just sent clothing.

>>9743495
>>9743995
there are a few lolita comms in Adelaide, no skin off my back

>>9744169
the fatties do

>>9744130
Haenuli isn't even a good indie brand. Lief would be better

>>9744130
Hi Shiverling

Since we're on the topic of aussies, anyone know whats up with that other small sydney based lolita group on facebook?

>>9745544

The main Facebook group was set to secret for some dumb fucking reason years ago, so some randoms started their own group thinking there wasn't a comm in Sydney.

>>9745544
the girls who made that group were doing a documentary on lolita for uni, they joined the real sydney group before making thier second group and they refuse to delete it.

>>9745544
are you talking about the 'egl controversial court' group?

>>9745635
>>9745725
Huh, so who's correct here? Seems like a pretty big group for a uni project

>>9746649
I'm talking about "Sydney Lolitas" rather than "Sydney Lolita" which is the main comm

>>9744150
I posted >>9736840 and I was actually referring to bad coord choices ("Should I coord these hot pink Doc Martens with this brown dress? btw I will get upset if you say no") and downright socially unacceptable behaviour like climbing on public artworks and screaming in small, enclosed spaces. Even if you politely ask someone like that to stop it and behave like an adult, they throw a fit and often will accuse you of ableism. And I'm not calling them autistic because I don't like them but because they've told me that they are autistic.

>>9746649
Which mod approved that group anyway, I don’t think the ‘admins’ of the group are qualified enough to run a RC:U 2.0. I’ve never heard head nor tail of them before.

Arizona's comm is full of fat niggers. Literally every darkie in that comm is a landwhale. I don't want to go to meets with mammies :(

>>9747089
>baiting this hard

>>9746649
That group is just another rufflechat for one of the admins to just have power.
I'm suprised Rufflechat allowed it to be posted on there when the court admins explicitly said that they don't like rufflechat.

Reading this thread makes me wonder if something is wrong with me because I do genuinely love my comm and feel like most of the members are cool people...

>>9747089
>someone who's never been to a meet