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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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10323659 No.10323659 [Reply] [Original] [rbt]

What is it with all the fashion gatekeepers in the lolita fashion community? I thought this fashion was supposed to be fun, but with people tearing each other down all the time online, it's very disheartening. There are a lot of unwritten rules about everything and if you are new or dont know the rules, people just tear you down. Comments/opinions?

>> No.10323660 [DELETED] 

The rules are written down, most of you just fail to look them up or do any research and expect to immediately be spoonfed this readily available information instead. When people do try to help newer folks, they are met with shit like "it's just clothes/ I don't need the rules I'm just having fun/ I made it myself so it slolita because I say so" yet still expect to be accepted.
Ironically, if you had bothered to read anything about lolita at all you would come across several answered to this question but yet here you are.

>> No.10323661

I think it is just because so much of the community aspect exists online. Online communities give your average person who is normal in real life just enough disconnection to not really feel what a dick they are being.
It doesn't feel real online.

>> No.10323666

When we don’t gatekeep, we get overrun with newbies in Hot Topic skater dresses and thrifted prom gowns who insist that their outfit is totally lolita because they say it’s lolita and before you know it, the aesthetic has been completely watered down and the word lolita doesn’t mean anything anymore.

>> No.10323679

gatekeeping is good.
If you're too weak to handle criticism or too dumb to follow basic rules of what makes a fashion a fashion,then gtfo,we don't need more sjw crybabies we already got enough.


>> No.10323682
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LoLItaS sHOulD bE LoVeLIes
Fuck outta here with that newbie shit, gatekeeping is the only thing separating the girls in lolita from the sissies with wish dresses and a pacifier in their butthole.

>> No.10323686

There are cons but the pros far outweigh the cons. Lolita is a fucking magnet for special snowflakes who want to do whatever and slap the lable of lolita on it to feel superior. If there wasn’t the amount of gatekeeping there is lolita wouodnhave died out from their bs

>> No.10323688

Read "Geeks, Mops, and Sociopaths" by David Chapman. tl;dr: Geeks, the passionate people, create a niche, but need to introduce new people to it to keep it thriving (i.e. lolita hobbyists). Mops, the casual people, suck up all the cool new stuff without giving anything back (i.e. tag abusers and hot topic "lolitas"). Sociopaths, the takers, find a way to monetize the hobby in a way that pushes out the well-intentioned creators.

Push mops to become geeks and keep out the sociopaths.

>> No.10323739

if anything we should gatekeep more to keep weaklings like you away

>> No.10323742

This so much.

If you actually are interested in being a lolita you will on your own spend the time to learn and read about it. People who seem to want to get better will get help. Its those who are just tagging their skater dresses as lolita or want to be "kawaii" that need to be pushed away from lolita so it keeps being a real thing.

Google is free.

>> No.10323745

Narcissism. People need to label someone as "worse" so they can see themselves as "better".

>> No.10323759

first of all, /cgl/s meanies aren't representative of the community as a whole. You can't put a face to anyone on here, so you can't take anyone on here seriously. for all you know, they might not even be a lolita. chances are they are just as new as you, but performing the "mean lolita" stereotype to appear more legitimate. attend a meet or use a forum where people have names and images attached. Most lolitas are really kind, even a bunch on /cgl/. I've had productive conversations on here, I love the mail thread since it has a very positive atmosphere, as well as the draw thread.
that being said, if you're new, the only reason people would gategeep you is if you are especially active and opinionated even though you don't know very much yet. People who tear noobs down are honestly pathetic. Going on the ita thread to post someone who's obviously new is pathetic. This will probably happen to you if you share images online, it's inevitable. again, remind yourself /cgl/ is FULL of men and lolitas at heart. chances are the person gatekeeping you is ugly, can't dress them self either, or is a man. I think it's hilarious to imagine someone seeing some photo of lor on the internet and becoming so upset by it that they copy the image to ms paint, cross out her face, and write mean things on it to submit to BtB. That idea is just so painfully pathetic to me. The same with people who save images from CoF to post in the ita thread. Don't take those people seriously, they're losers.
Also, everyone has a different opinion of what makes someone a lolita. Most of our community, arguable, wear lolita twice a year to local cons and consider themselves lolitas. A good portion only wears lolita to meets and consider themselves lolita. then there's daily lolitas or people who wear lolita as much as they can. It's up to interpretation.

>> No.10323762

Gatekeepers can be nice, respectable & gentle or ruthless. You can't control other people. But gatekeepers serve a purpose to keep the fashion within its standards. Without a strong core adhering to standards think what the suppliers would be cranking out to the consumer. Oh wait, Milanoo, AliExpress, Wish, Hot Topic already exist and dish out slop. If all you want is slop then that's all you will get if gatekeepers didn't exist.

>> No.10323763

Greito beito daze

>> No.10323765

New here, arent you?
Ive been in the community for 10 years.
Its always been like this. Lolitas being cute and nice in person for the most part, then going home, posting a picture of the worst dressed girl at the meetup to cgl. It used to be worse actually, we used to actively try to doxx people until the creator of 4chan himself stepped in and told us to stop.

My best explanation for why *lolitas* in paticular are so toxic compared to other communities? They kind of act like female incels, but most of them get laid. Poor souls that are fucked up and use this fashion as some sort of escapism. If you want a nice community try getting into something else.

>> No.10323767

Outside of /cgl/, the gatekeeping is really just an expectation of the minimum rules. Hell, even here, vendetta posters are constantly getting called out.

>> No.10323788

This. Practically every time I see someone cry about the horrible lolitists outside of /cgl/ they're really just upset that someone told them that their sexy french maid cosplay or steampunk Dalek gijinka or normie office outfit isn’t an actual lolita coord. I’ve seen people join my comm, refuse to read the FAQ or any of the newbie guides we wrote for them, receive tons of polite advice and links to secondhand shops and shopping services anyway and then run back to their timeline to complain about how the mean lolitas told her that if she doesn’t spend >€500 on a dress she can’t sit with us.

I don’t understand why lolita in particular attracts so many of these people, but it does.

>> No.10323794

You're not special and you definitely look like shit.

>> No.10323862

I never understood how this can be a realistic fear.
It's not like AP and Baby are gonna start putting out skater dresses and badly sewn tablecloth skirts.

>> No.10323863

back when brand was near-impossible to get, the amount of lj posts of itas in hot topic dresses would sometimes outweigh the actual lolitas

>> No.10323865

Christ. You say all that like your proud of it.
Typical 4channer.

>> No.10323867

But brands don't care about that. They clearly weren't effected because LJ has since died out and we still get the usual lolita dresses that fit the fashion.
Though I know the quality meme is all the rage these days on cgl. But we still got a ton of rereleases that everyone wanted.

>> No.10323869

>come into a single thread on a single board with a highly localized subset of users
ah, yes... the infamous four-chan... I have cracked the code.

>> No.10323878

>highly localized
Where exactly.

>> No.10323886

this board is almost entirely burgers with some maplefags and eurofags sprinkled in.

>> No.10323896

How do you know for sure though. You don't. You just assume based on the few anons who let their locale be known, but those people might not even be posting here anymore. Do you even think about that?

>> No.10323899


>> No.10323902

uhh no, it's based on the census from a few months ago

>> No.10323903
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The most reasonable response in this thread. Just ignore the shitters, op.

>> No.10323913

there is a census up right now, dumb dumb

>> No.10323922

Nah, i never participated. I remember posting in the feels thread once and everyone tried to doxx me based off of my post for shits and giggles. Ended up doxxing another girl they thought was me though. Cgl used to be a worse cesspool.

>> No.10323926

Honestly OP, i'm not sure what you wanted to gain with this thread.
Of course there's a lot of rules, it's a niche fashion with very specific roots, it is bound to have a very particular aesthetic.
And it is only natural that the people that wear it want to make sure it is well understood, since it being niche means more often than not, it isn't.
In my experience "gatekeeping" is mostly people wanting to help someone understand the fashion when they don't, whether they take it well and learn from it or throw a tantrum and call everyone else elitists is entirely their choice.
CGL isn't an accurate depiction of the lolita community in my opinion, hell, i'm sure it isn't even an accurate depiction of most people that have answered this thread, if you want an actual conversation involving the problems you see with the community (as much as i don't think that they are nearly as bad as made out to be) then i would recommend you go to a forum where people actually present as themselves, since in here, i doubt that conversation will develop or be taken as seriously as i imagine you want it to be.

>> No.10323930
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We're tired of the lolitas at heart, sissies, fetishists and perma itas.

Gatekeeping for the sake of minors isn't wrong either.

>> No.10323959

The gates need to be barred with heavy chains of iron and strong locks to keep out the riff-raff and the plebians. Only true lolitas with a love for the fashion, no fetishes, and disposable income to afford brand should be allowed in.

>> No.10323964

Itas often think other lolitas are gatekeeping by simply telling them what they’re wearing isn’t lolita or it doesn’t follow the lolita guidelines. I have rarely ever seen any lolita say that they shouldn’t be wearing the fashion directly to the person

>> No.10323971

A certain amount of gatekeeping is ok, but it gets ridiculous sometimes. "if you only wear taobao brands, you're not a real lolita" "if you don't wear lolita every month, you're not a real lolita" stupid shit like this should stop

>> No.10323974

ive literally never seen this

>> No.10323979

You must not spend much time on this board then.

>> No.10323980

I think my favorite gatekeeping cgl shit was during the height of the OTT craze
"if you're not OTT you're ita"
so ita threads were flooded with normal toned down lolitas who were shat on for not having 10+ accessories lol

>> No.10323981

I dislike Ott just because it makes me feel like a peasant when I show up in totally normal amounts of Lolita and everyone's gone fucking crazy extra

>> No.10323985

You must be new then

>> No.10323990

I dislike it because I prefer casual lolita. I'm a huge fan of how things used to look in 2005

>> No.10324010


lolita is pretty average toxic compared to other communities. not going to say we aren't toxic at all, but in the grand scheme of things, we aren't the worst.

that is all

>> No.10324012

I know this is a noob/troll thread but I'll bite anyway. People who are bothered by "gatekeeping" in any capacity, in any hobby need to grow up. Itas specifically who think gatekeeping is a thing are types of people who refuse to take criticism, don't want critiques and are overall delusional about how they look. When I first got into fashion I got made fun of, which instead of taking to heart, I took as a sign, I listened and researched and grew, that's how most people are. People who are actively trying to get involved in a fashion community who constantly don't want to be told what that fashion entails don't need to be involved. They chose to get involved in the community, they can chose to leave.

>> No.10324018


cgl venting aren't really good examples, though. It's where lolitas come to vent, so of course you're going to see some frustrated lolitas vent about some "middle sister" who only owns taobao brands, or badly cracking jokes about OTT.

>> No.10324019

without gatekeeping you get the something like the absolute dumpster pile that is current /lit/.

>> No.10324034

>a hobby full of young women
>a hobby based on looks
>“I wonder why everyone is so catty :(„

I have many hobbies like drawing, figure collecting, cosplay, etc. There has been not a single online community in any of these hobbies without drama and constant bitching. At this point I‘ve accepted it‘s part of human nature and women are very prone to this.

>> No.10324040

Can you read

>> No.10324041

I never understood this.

If you're upset about "gatekeeping" in the fashion, how do you get past college acceptance and job interviews in real life? Do you just cry about how building things with legos qualifies you to be an engineer without a degree?

Gatekeeping exists for a reason and it's literally all around you. There are people who are good at things and people who are bad at them.

>> No.10324045

Never seen a community try to doxx someone for saying they were raped before until cgl gotta admit

>> No.10324061

This doesn't actually happen. Lolita brands in Japan won't change their aesthetic to skater dresses because of a handful of foreign newbies. What they wear actually won't affect what you can buy and wear.

>> No.10324113


I'm just saying, stuff on cgl shouldn't count as gatekeeping. When it's not lolitas venting half the threads are derailed by larpers and trolls anyway.

>> No.10324120

Who said anything about brands? That post is about the community. Sure you don’t need a community to wear the clothes but some of us actually like talking to other lolitas without having to wade through post after post about H&M ‘loliables’ being just as good as brand.

>> No.10324164

No wonder seagulls pick at you so easily, STOP being a soft-shelled oyster

>> No.10324168

Sorry I forgot some lolitas only wear it around other lolitas that they meet through Facebook. Maybe you should try making actual friends if people keep posting about H&M without gatekeeping.

>> No.10324171

you saw your chance and you took it

>> No.10324174

If you are new and don’t know the rules, common sense dictates that you learn them before you just jump in and try to do the thing right? Get a basic coord together that’s actually lolita, don’t be a completely awkward potato socially and there’s usually no problem. The bar for entry is actually laughably *low*.

>> No.10324177

>>10323981 >>10323990
I wish you both didn’t feel this way. I love OTT but I don’t think people wearing any other styles are somehow ‘less’. I like all the styles of lolita fashion and I love to see people wearing their fave style, OTT just happens to make me the happiest to wear. That doesn’t take anything away from any other styles in my eyes.
There were plenty of people defending good lolita coords at that time too, the majority of people who post any kind of shit like that here don’t even wear the fashion, and they are the main reason I think this board is poison. Effing larpers passing judgement according to the latest ‘trends’ they look online to see.

>> No.10324186

Nayrt but what the hell are you going on about? It's reasonable to want to look at content related to your hobbies without having to wade through a bunch of garbage. It has nothing to do with not having friends or thinking brands are going to cater to itas.

>> No.10324189

It feels a lot like there is a trend to overdress at meets (even kinda casual ones!), with the full face of makeup and a wig and three hair accessories and five rings/ bracelets/ etc and it makes me feel embarrassingly underdressed. I prefer more every day/ casual Lolita because I've never been a "piles on piles of makeup/ jewelry/ spending two hours on my hair" kind of person, so I feel almost like I don't belong. Like I'm a perpetual newb without enough crap in my closet or makeup/ hair skills and it sometimes makes me wonder about keeping the fashion

>> No.10324193

Nayrt, but I mostly wear very toned down sweet and I have a few prints and OTT accessories squirreled away just for meets so I don’t feel underdressed. It can be fun sometimes, but I won’t pretend it’s not exhausting.

>> No.10324196

This. And small town comms do get overrun like this, because there aren’t really enough lolitas doing it right to make a community in most smaller places. I think it’s better to be a lone lolita than to be in a community like that though.

>> No.10324197

I know this isn't the feels thread but I'm going to use this space to vent about this because it's been bothering me for a while, the more I think of it.

I hate doing my makeup and hair. It makes me feel ugly and like I have no clue wtf I'm doing. Every single time I've ever gotten ready with other women, there comes a time when they kind of look at me and sigh and say "here, let me fix you". And then proceed to make me look amazing. I don't know why, I've just never had the inclination or patience to develop those skills.

I really love Lolita and I've been using it as a way of getting better, but I still have very little clue and it gives me huge amounts of stress when I'm getting ready. Cgl threads making fun of clueless people make it worse, because I always wonder if the girls in my comm look at me and think the things gulls say and that's all I can think about while painfully trying to make myself look like I'm a lolita.

I feel a lot like a total poser and permanewb and I really hate it, despite dumping thousands of dollars into this hobby so far.

Like is it really so bad to just straighten your hair, put on foundation, eyeliner, mascara, and a little bit of eyeshadow, go bare-nailed, and wear a necklace with modest earrings and a ring? Why don't more people do that? It's like an unspoken rule to wear your whole fucking closet when you go to meets and I hate it.

>> No.10324199

So the gatekeeping doesn't work??

>> No.10324201

>>10324189 >>10324193
Lots of people are getting a bit older and do just have more in their wardrobe and more disposable income so some will do more OTT looks to stay interested and take it further. OTT is always still just one way of wearing the fashion though, it’s not ‘better’ and casual and any kind of toned down style have their own merits too. I love seeing old school return to some popularity as well. I like seeing the contrasts. I think this fashion is so niche that we need all the styles to support each other and keep the many aesthetics within it going strong. If everyone just focuses on doing their chosen style really well, then it gives nice variety and representation to all the ways to wear lolita. More people wearing it more ways is best.

>> No.10324203

It works if you DO it. If you just give up and let anyone in, trusting that Cindy Prom Dress and Brolita with cosplay wig ‘will surely improve’, then no, you get what you get. A com full of weirdly dressed people with very little actual lolita fashion. Possibly any good lolitas leaving because they don’t want to be part anymore. Because it’s not lolita.

>> No.10324207

If you aren’t wearing loliables as the clothes then what you are describing sounds just fine! But you can’t have it both ways either, if you don’t have the inclination or patience, then please be happy with the level you are comfy at, (which sounds comfy and casual), and really enjoy and rock it. CGL is literally full of posers who have never worn a coordinate, that is the ‘posing’ that is going on. Ignore it, you can’t know who it is even coming from. Instead test your own eyes. Look at lots of group photos of actual lolitas at actual meets and events. Some are very casual, some are very dressed up, and most fall in between. The getting ready together yes, that does have a certain amount of flex involved so next time someone wants to ‘fix’ you, flex back. Gently and politely just put them off and rock your own way to look. Bit of makeup, bit of accessories and straightened hair is JUST FINE.

>> No.10324213

Sounds like you don't know what gatekeeping is. Did you come from that daily lolita group or what?

>> No.10324224

You see this on a smaller scale with practically every Harajuku fashion walk outside of Harajuku. There are no real standards so you don’t just get itas but cosplayers and furries and sissies too, and no self-respecting person who’s seriously into Jfashion will go near it more than once.

Didn’t they require picture proof of prospective members wearing lolita? That doesn’t sound very UwU inclusive

>> No.10324232

We should go back to ‘when you have your first full coord put together that follows the rules, that’s when it’s time to join the fashion’. To me, that is a good amount of gatekeeping. No cosplay, no cosplay wigs, yes you need ‘lolita shoes’ and legwear, a blouse under the jsk, something on your head, no main pieces being loliables...because noobs don’t really know how to do that yet, so it kind of self-sorts. Why is requiring the bare basics first (at least one proper lolita coordinate) seen as such a bad or thing?

Maybe the question to ask instead is this: Why the hell do you think anyone should have any right to just join in without meeting the bare minimum requirements?

>> No.10324424

It only happens here on /cgl/. No one cares about that shit in the real world.

>> No.10324447

If someone ever wanted to have a decent jfashion walk, you’d have to have it in a larger city and use an applicant/vetting process. Or run it like a fashion show and dress some ‘models’ for it from among friends and friends of friends. That’s the only way I can see it working and not being a shitshow like most we have seen photos of.

>> No.10324507

Yes and I remember people saying they lied in that very thread.
Census isn't truth and people lie on this board. Get used to it.

>> No.10324509

original post said "we"
I think you're full of shit.

>> No.10324513

>just straighten your hair, put on foundation, eyeliner, mascara, and a little bit of eyeshadow
If you're putting on foundation and eyeshadow, you're doing more than a lot of girls do actually.
Don't get ready with other girls anymore. I never do this unless we're having fun together already and then I'll let someone else do my make up. But if I'm going to a meet, I'm gonna get ready on my own.

>> No.10324522

All you have to do is look at half the stuff that gets tagged lolita or posted in CoF to see why guidelines and crit are essential to keeping the fashion structured and meaningful. People who know nothing about the fashion or its history are slapping the "lolita" label on any outfit involving a quirky dress and a hat.

>> No.10324543


This was with my normie coworkers when we were "going out," not lolitas. For some reason I'd imagine that getting ready with other lolitas would be fun because two wardrobes together makes much better coords than a single wardrobe

>> No.10324557

Oh for fuck's sake, don't listen to anything any fucking normie has to say when you're talking about how you look in lolita. Huge mistake.

>> No.10324564

Oh my god no, this was before I started wearing lolita. They were normie critiques for normie ocassions but still pounded it in me that I knew fuck all about hair and makeup.

>> No.10324596

>based on the few anons
409 votes
>I remember people saying they lied in that very thread
No they didn't.

>> No.10324599

Stop larping.

Yes, they are. It's the same person throwing a tantrum about 4chan in the daily EGL thread.

>> No.10324748

The fact that they said "the creator of 4chan" (kek) and not moot makes me think you're right.

>> No.10325063

Well, that's still what I'm trying to tell you.
Normie hair and make up is nothing like lolita hair and make up.

>> No.10325084

Hmmm I guess you have a point actually. I feel a lot better

>> No.10325155

"We" as in 4channers back in 2010. not all 4channers participated in doxing events but all people who saw them was a cgl 4channer back then.
Its ok to say you're relatively new. Cant say you missed out there was barely any discussion all drama threads of the same 5 people everyone hated. Kotakoti, pixyteri, Jessica, Yaya, Venus, and the drama of the month. Actually obnoxious. Watching Moot step in was an event though. He got into a public fight with spoony on this board. Popcorn worthy.

>I dont believe it so it didnt happen
>also you must be this other anon I dont like
Hate to break it to you, but I'm not. I actually am a cosplayer, think Lolitas are far too catty so don't touch the fashion with a 10 inch pole.

>> No.10325336 [DELETED] 

>wants /cgl/ to stop "oppressing" second rate itas and have nowhere to put our salt when we repress it the other 99% of the time to keep ourselves looking cute and youthful

you know, we're actually not the worst, right? making fun of a few girls in shitty dresses without doing anything illegal like doxxing or chronic harassment (for the most part) isn't worth clutching your pearls over when kiwifarms is next door. think of us as doing the community some good by hazing out the poorfags and sensitive crybabies. sorry you thought a community of people was supposed to be sweet and friendly just because we're teen-to-20s girls who like candy-colored dresses. have you SEEN rupaul or america's next top model? the fashion scene has always been shady, darling.

>> No.10325337 [DELETED] 

i love how lolita makes the sexism of some people just show itself in full glory. just because a community has its fair share of drama and arguing like any other, people think that makes us "catty" because we're women participating in a traditionally feminine hobby.

>> No.10325531

I bet they don't think their own graphic applies to anyone they brand a nazi for whatever bullshit reason of theirs, hypocrites

>> No.10325534

>Why yes of course I read encyclopia dramatica and knowyourmeme.

>I dont believe it so it didnt happen
Post the exact thread you're talking about then.
>also you must be this other anon I dont like
Lel, who said I don't like them? Cgl is one of the boards with the least amount of doxxing, even in its first years. No one here gives a fuck but you. Again, stop larping.

>> No.10325536

In this fashion, they are often literal, card carrying nazis though

>> No.10325537

This. The cosplay threads on this board are almost entirely drama bait and bitching about costhots but somehow we’re the catty ones

>> No.10325565

It's not meant to be inclusive. CoF is nothing but asspats. Daily EGL allows concrit and wants to keep lolitas at heart out

>> No.10325606

Right, ok. Have you even seen the/cgl/ census? Most of this board isn't even right-wing.

>> No.10325611

Yes, but there are quite a few Lindas out there too. This fashion attracts some weirdos

>> No.10325636

Well said. If we don't gatekeep we'll be overrun with degenerates and retards in no time.

>> No.10325640

We are objectively better than the unwashed gender special autopedophile rabble who stick pacifiers up their bums.

>> No.10325644

Can confirm. Knitting is much more toxic than Lolita and they make crochet and sewing look sane in comparison.

>> No.10325645

Why should I have to look shit up for some entitled newfag? You have access to the archives and you can ask other seagulls.

>> No.10325655

What? In what transbian fantasy do you live where you casually borrow expensive collectible clothes? It's pretty rare to be the same size and style as even close friends, and your linebacker frame will rip right through brand.

>> No.10325745

>I thought this fashion was supposed to be fun, but with people tearing each other down all the time online
...so new.

>> No.10325752

Because you're the one who claimed it happened and should know vaguely what the posts are supposed to sound like. Just say you pulled it out of your ass and call it a day. Yelling about newfags and entitlement won't make you sound any more believable.

>> No.10325789

If you are not a custodian for your hobby it will soon be full of nothing but cancer.

>> No.10325820


Gamergate wasn't a thing? Ok.

>> No.10325822

what came first anon, cgl or gamergate?

>> No.10325824


So what's the story then? I was underage b8 at the time and I dressed like shit so I avoided this board like the plague.

>> No.10325828

Craftsmanship on this bait is solid, has all necessary parts. A bit of hot button issues, a sprinkle of schizophrenia...not bad.

>> No.10326011

Honestly I feel like some gate keeping is necessary but jesus christ. I had someone assume I was new because they didn't recognize me (I was traveling), which I guess valid, but then tore apart one little part of my coord... She thought my OTKs were "too high" and then sent messages backpedaling and apologizing because "I didn't know you've been wearing it for over 10 years."

Like the only reason she decided to nitpick my coord was she thought I was new, and I've seen it done to other girls before to the point where one girl left a meet early she was so disheartened. Which while the coord wasn't top tier, it was way better than the girl criticizing her. Take your bloomers out of your bunch and gate keep the nasty kink and "kawaii at heart" people.

I will admit it's rare, but when I do see it irl it's definitely a wtf moment, since I've only ever seen it happen to relatively well dressed people. Online is a different beast lol.

tldr yes gate keeping, but in moderation. Also sorry if my wording is terrible it's 3am and I should be sleeping.

>> No.10326034

Usually I let baby lolitas have their moment. If they ask, we give them helpful crit. If not.... we just don’t say anything and sometimes plan meets we know they won’t attend.

>> No.10326045

I’ve had this happen too. I’ve been in the fashion since 2006 but don’t attend meetups very often. Twice now someone has come up to me, looked me up and down, said “you’re new, huh?” and gave me some super sage advice like how I ought to get a wig that matches my bag or try a multi-hoop skirt for ‘more poof’ under my karami JSK.
It’s funny because both are pretty ita themselves and also the type to cry bully at the slightest provocation. Actual well dressed lolitas in my comm do give concrit but only when asked. I guess they were trying to punch down after not getting enough likes on COF or something.

>> No.10326062

I don't remember the fight with Spoony

>> No.10326092
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>> No.10326180

it's common in my comm to lend pieces for a coord. Also, shirring exists, my linebacker friend can borrow my jsks instead of my ops.

>> No.10326192

I definitely feel like it's one of those things where... When someone know very little about something they think they're an expert. When in reality they're spouting a bunch of bs and it's just making them look stupid lmao.

>> No.10326226

Its not the brands who'll change, it's the small town comms filled with poor-chans and teens

>> No.10326246

Incels and beta nerds have always been a thing

>> No.10326298

I'd say google it but it was so easy i found the thread
Might as well link >>10325752 and tell them to lick the dirtiest part of my asshole too

>> No.10326347

Dunning-Kruger effect

>> No.10326501

Look at it this way:

There is no gate keeping in the fairy kei community and look at how shitty most of its members are dressed like trash.

>> No.10326514

The fairy kei tags are filled with shit

>> No.10326760

This post has led me into literal hours of fascinating research into group psychology and organizational dynamics.

>> No.10326960

I've been in the fashion since right about the same time and there's this girl (who's borderline ita) that started at around 2012 and wears ott era stuff, who wont stop whining about me 'doing it wrong' mostly because I wear oldschool and sweet/classic. (I posted about it on another thread)

she is overweight and hardly fits in to brand (which is probably why she's so ita since she wont buy toabao and is so limited on what she can wear?) but seems to think she's an expert on the fashion. It's annoying trying to figure out how to explain to her she doesn't know what she's talking about and she looks like shit, without insulting her.

I also hardly attend meet ups which is why she probably thinks she knows better?

>> No.10326962


>> No.10326986

Let's look at this from another angle: what kind of impact other people's shitty outfits make on you personally?

>> No.10326987 [DELETED] 

>What is it with all the fashion gatekeepers

>> No.10326994

Im so over the idea that lolita (and japanese fashion) is this colorful pastel unicorn puke ~kawaii~ sort of look. It's one of the main reasons I don't really fit in with my local comm.

>> No.10326995

why is she telling you what to do? Isn't that rude to give people unsolicited advice? Maybe tell someone if it bugs you enough and they'll tell her to back off. She sounds toxic

>> No.10327063 [DELETED] 

This is why we need gate keeping. Men need to be kept under control like animals.

>> No.10327067 [DELETED] 

Seething femoid

>> No.10327071

The lolita community is small as it is, people don't want to be representated by those who clearly don't understand the lolita aesthetic, who spread their stink and shit advice everywhere. Also, people want to go to meets and be surrounded by people with taste.

>> No.10327074

Samefag, but really and truly, there's no law about looking like shit, people can do as they please, just like nobody has to give itas ass pats.

>> No.10327213
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NARTs but wew

>> No.10327295

Anon. Normies have way different taste when "going out" than lolitas. You sound like you do enough.

>> No.10327296

Considering most lolita pieces are designed to fit a size range. Either nice bait or you need to get some friends.

>> No.10327387
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>> No.10327429

Online? None. But I occasionally run into coworkers while out with my comm and being seen with someone dressed like a mentally challenged dumpster fire is embarrassing and leads to a lot of awkward questions later.

>> No.10327461

>thinking normies see your own coord as totally normal and not weird af

>> No.10327470

I honestly cannot believe it is 2020 and people are still whining about lolita gatekeeping. Flashbacks to 2006. Absolute lol.

>> No.10327497

>thinking people can't determine when something looks like shit on someone or is just weird/eccentric

>> No.10327498

That's something that will never change as long as there is a steady stream of newbies.

>> No.10327514

Sure, they think sweet is pretty weird (they’re used to goths and think classic is like vintage fashion) but they absolutely can tell the difference between someone in a well executed outfit and someone with a cheap untrimmed eBay wig and child’s tiara who’s bulging out of their Bodyline XXXL. After someone spots me with well dressed lolitas they usually just ask if we were going to a party and where we get our clothes. After someone spotted me with a bunch of itas they asked if I was volunteering with a theatre group of mentally challenged adults. They were completely serious and wanted to praise me for it.

>> No.10327534

I keep thinking the OP image is an upside down coat hanger

>> No.10327540

Thank you for your valuable contribution to this thread.

(Jk anon I’ve seen it too while scrolling)

>> No.10327542

This. When I see normies and I’m out with well dressed friends, I just say I’m going to a party and they are like “neat, where are your clothes from?”

When I meet normies with an itatastic comm, they usually avoid making eye contact and I just give them the costume excuse to get them to leave me alone

>> No.10327593

>a theatre group of mentally challenged adults
cgl in a nutshell

>> No.10327625

Dude man, have you seen some of the sewing FB groups though. Free Speech: Patterns and Fabric Edition is the biggest fucking drama pit I've ever seen.

>> No.10327674
File: 267 KB, 1373x2048, 1576218369926.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

kawaii culture is a cancer

japs pioneered all black everything, asymmetrical drapey avant garde shit in high fashion but instead they're known for pastel vomit

>> No.10327781

They can't though???

If they couldn't then ita threads wouldn't even exist. There's actual lolitas who can't tell a difference between a dumpster fire and a well done coord and you expect normies with no notion of the fashion to?

>> No.10327811

>a theatre group of mentally challenged adults
fucking kek

kawaii looks are avant garde too and creative in a different way, I love both and it's a shame that the one gets more attention because it's so flashy and cutesy

>> No.10331006

My (small european country) "comm" is a small group of cringy genderspecial kids between the ages of 15 and 20. All they talk about in the facebook is their parents opressing them because they won't buy them lolita. Most of them don't even own a taobao dress let alone brand. They do wear skater skirts and wish chokers tho, and drag their crusty gamer boyfriends to "meets". If the 3 or 4 girls that started the facebook group and comm fought back a bit harder and gatekeeped instead of going inactive online, then we would have a functioning comm. Accepting shit like ddlg, underage kids that don't actually wear or care about lolita, and sissies is a death's kiss for the fashion, or at least a functional western community.

>> No.10331038

Gatekeeping exists mainly to keep men or women with fetishes away. I do think that some people are too mean to girls who just started out, especially because often they don't look too amazing themselves. It's a little weird that some lolitas get away with dressing ugly for ages, like they've had hundred chances to do it right already (imo for example Lor). Being an oldfag shouldn't mean you're immediately deserving of respect and no criticism.
I also noticed that it's boring mediocre lolitas who are the harshest, really good ones usually are a lot kinder. So unless you're a sissy and if you're putting in an effort to be a "better" lolita, most won't hate you or shit on you. Also, there are some who get really aggressive when somebody tries to give them friendly advice, that also pisses most of. Don't do that and you'll be fine.

>> No.10331041

Samefag, yours really is an extreme case...
But in general I agree on keeping teens and men out, imo it should be for women only.

>> No.10331054 [DELETED] 

I'm at a loss on what to do, I currently weigh a massive 215lbs at a height of 5'10.

Growing up I was always slim but at 13 I suddenly thought "Bmi 20 is fat, must lose weight!" and turned ana. Starting from when I was 16 I gradually gained weight back again but it completely got out of control in university. At the beginning I still looked normal but now I'm downright fat. I'm so miserable, food is my only comfort and joy. I eat 4000-5000 calories every single day, nothing healthy at all. Doing sports seems to be doing nothing for me, I can still easily run for over an hour per day, it's my food addiction that I need to control. Throughout those years I already started diets over 100 times but I always fail, I just love eating and unhealthy food so much. I'm also constantly hungry, after like 3 hours my stomach always starts growling.
Sometimes I really feel like giving up. I was always shy but this turned me so insecure that it's affecting every single aspect in my life. It's already hard to feel pretty if you're so tall to begin with but if you aren't thin on top of that you just feel like a giant ogre.

>> No.10331881

>immediately deserving of respect and no criticism.
should most cosplayers deserve some respect and not be criticized unless it's wanted? Most people doing cosplay do it just as a hobby and it already takes a lot of bravery and skill to even get a costume to go out with. I don't think you should just judge everyone who is just enjoying their hobbies

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