Abusive Cosplay Relationships?

[Anonymous No.7525429]

Has anyone experienced one of these? Dealt with a controlling or overbearing partner? Been manipulated or coerced into doing or making things? How do you heal/reintegrate into the scene after leaving that relationship? How do you deal with people who might not understand or the fallout from an ex who talks shit about you?

[Anonymous No.7525515]

I'd like to submit the guy who made the tron dress for his girlfriend on HoC.

[Anonymous No.7525526]

From a friend yes, but not a lover
my bf is just.. kind of stupid. He is trying but just stupid.

[Anonymous No.7527054]

>>7525526

How so?

[Anonymous No.7527061]

My boyfriend doesn't want me doing cosplay photoshoots with anyone else but him.
But his photos suck. Blegh. :I

[Anonymous No.7527112]

>>7525515
That was so fucking terrible.

[Anonymous No.7527174]

>>7527054
On the friend or bf part? I just am far too giving for my own good, I have anxiety and literally had a breakdown last year trying to finish my outfits AND my bf's in time before he realized that WOW doing school and sewing 6 outfits is really stressful all at once. He is a really kind and supportive dude but really dense. He is kind of lazy and I really push myself to make good outfits, it's not a dealbreaker for our relationship but he seriously NEEDS to step up the support in some manner.

On the friend bit I've lost quite a few people because of one psycho bitch in my tiny tiny town community, there are literally 15-20 cosplayers in my county altogether, and this one girl flat out introduced herself to me then said I was too fat to cosplay. She is about my size. I, of course, realized that something was seriously wrong with her and refused to deal with her, but that meant that she shit talked me to my other long standing friends and I lost pretty much all of them in this area.
It's okay because she is miserable, refuses to learn to sew and abuses her OTHER friend as a disposable seamstress, not paying for materials or anything, destroys people's props whenever she can get her hands on them, and.. yeah people are starting to hate her. People suck in general but honestly I have no coping skills for shitty friends, how do you even handle it? I mean just seeing her face makes me sick to my stomach now, and a lot of MY friends from the bigger city area have her added, but. I don't know. I want to save them the trouble of having this bitch ruin stuff for them too, but I know how alienating it is to get random 'warning' messages that could be just flat out gossip or lies. I'm slowly starting to not care at all other than the fact that I have to see her but I guess I'm just weak in that regard.

[Anonymous No.7527230]

>>7527174
>People suck in general but honestly I have no coping skills for shitty friends, how do you even handle it?
Just write off the people who've already fallen for her shit. The next time she pulls horseshit, mention it to your current friends then. There's not really much to do since she'll have her own forcefield of lies.

[Anonymous No.7527240]

>Be dating someone
>Oh yay, cute couple cosplays!
>Person who has a painfully obvious crush on my girlfriend keeps butting in
>Oh! I'll be your _____!
>Oh, but Anon's supposed to be them.
>Gets outfit done first because she didn't go to school or have a job and rich
>Pressures girlfriend into cosplaying with her anyways

Then another thing.

>Have best friend
>Best friend is poor and going to school
>Okay whatever I'll let them sleep in my hotels
>They make friends with someone and begin to go a little crazy
>O-Okay...
>Finally ask her to pay for one of the hotels since she had gotten a job
>"Okay! I'll give it to you when I get my next paycheck!"
>Next paycheck never comes.
>Does this to another friend.
>She admits to another friend of mine (and someone who's hotel she was staying in for free) that she uses people to get free shit.

Welp. Should've seen that one coming as her sanity declined.

[Anonymous No.7527243]

>>7527174

Have you pointed out to him that he can be more perceptive when you are under duress? I have anxiety myself, it was quite severe a few years ago so I can understand how key he would be as you cope. Hopefully he gets it and you both will benefit!

That sucks to here about the former friend, I think in time you will eventually not be as bothered by her presence. May take a while but you'll get there. If I may advise anything I would suggest you hold back on trying to overtly warn your friends about her, maybe after they're friends for a while ask how things are? And if they say something is up you can share with them your own experiences.

I myself reunited with a friend I hadn't spoken with in nearly a year. How it ended was hard on both sides, I still feel vulnerable from it all. But I'm glad that we were able to bury the hatchet after so long.

[Anonymous No.7527288]

One of my "best friends" asked me to be part of a group her gf organised and I was stupid and said yes. Her gf was super fussy and controlling over everyone, and my friend (who was living with me rent free in my tiny student apartment) literally a) told me she didn't give a shit about my other cosplay for the con I was also trying to make whilst finishing assignments, despite it being one I'd wanted to do for over a year, and b) told me I was "wasting time" when I tried to do things to improve how I was dealing with a health condition because I wasn't making the cosplay she wanted me to do. I got it done in the end and hated it. Got a snide comment from her girlfriend for not joining their other group that weekend and cosplaying on my own.

Few months later my friend is meant to be cosplaying with me in a group we both wanted to do but tells me she can't go to the con anymore. Turns out her gf didn't want to join the group and that was the only reason, run into them at the con. Have barely spoken to either of them since because I don't want to deal with them.

[Anonymous No.7527399]

>>7527230
True enough, I just quietly point out that she has a history of doing this stuff every time something new comes to light so I don't know, I really shouldn't be hiding from her when she is the sucky person.
>>7527243
He is getting better, just.. very slowly. But he has his own issues as well idk

I think I just, I've always been a vulnerable person so everyone who takes advantage of that just bothers me so much that I break down constantly. I have only told two people but seeing that psycho hang out with people (because she has a use for them of course she is going to be nice) that I know are better than that I just.. it hurts to see that they value an abusive asshole like her over me since we live in the same town i.e. I'm just as accessible to hang out with but? Yeah it's depressing.

[Anonymous No.7527444]

>>7527061
Show him that. Show him his photos and then show photos by other people who are actually good.

[Anonymous No.7527473]

I was part of a group where I had to make all the costumes because no one else wanted to learn to sew or buy a machine. They'd pay for their materials, but I'd be laboring for upwards of 6 costumes for a convention and end up working on them in the hotel room the first day. Of course they'd be mad that mine was done first and fit better (because god forbid they schedule time for me to do enough fittings, I'd usually do one and end up sewing the rest of the costumes at home)

I hated it.

I didn't even get to pick what characters I wanted to be in the groups, they'd be assigned for me. And when I decided to make myself a costume anyway because I liked a character better than my "assignment", suddenly they didn't want to do the group anymore. It got to the point where I finally told them I wasn't going to be their Korean sweatshop anymore and I expected to be paid. They excommunicated me like two weeks later and from what I've heard have been getting other people to make their costumes for free now, too. Most of them smarten up after the first time, but they've been steadily cycling through a few people.

They're all pretty charismatic and make you feel welcome so you make a bunch of excuses for being used by them, so I'm hoping eventually they burn all their bridges and end up having to actually learn how to do this hobby the right way or start actually paying people to make the costumes.

[Anonymous No.7527485]

>>7525429
So this is a basically a thread where everyone is too pussy and beta to say no and let people walk all over them? okay then

>>7527473
No one forced you to make anything

[Anonymous No.7527763]

>>7527485
Dude shut up

[Anonymous No.7527818]

I'm pretty much in the same boat as everyone who has posted here.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been cosplaying together since we met and pretty much all of our current and future plans are with each other. I can count the amount of times I've cosplayed solo on one hand. It's not that I hated cosplaying with him. We had a lot of fun together and have a lot of nice photos. The problems just started to arise when it came to the how the cosplaying was done.

Let me list the examples:
1. When I met him, he only did one or two cosplays to a con, and spend most of him money buying them or commissioning them. Since I made all my cosplays, once we started dating, i started offering to making cosplays for him as well. It was all fine and good at first; we never really did more than a few cosplays to a con. But soon he started to pile on the cosplays. Cons started being 7,8, 9 cosplays EACH to a three day con and I was expected to make every single one of them. How much time or money it took wasn't a problem to him, and he would expect everything to be finished before the con, despite me not having the money to afford everything. Weeks before the con would turn into fights because he would start to tell at me to work faster or tell me I didn't know how to manage my time properly (who needs sleep and food, right?). I would work hard on a cosplay for him and feel proud once it was finished, but instead of thanking me, he would tell me everything I did wrong and that he wanted me to remake it at a later date. One time he yelled at me for cutting a wig slightly shorter than his liking, and I ended up having a mental breakdown and cutting off my ponytail in rage. He blames everything on me, however, because I won't teach him how to sew. It wouldn't be a problem if he could follow simple directions and not freak out if one stitch is out of place.

[Anonymous No.7527826]

>>7527818
2. We have a list of cosplays we planned to do, but as time goes on and new series come out, the old plans get pushed back in favor the new shiny ones that are his current obsession. This usually means I have to make a whole new slew of cosplays for a con because he decided he NEEDS to do this cosplay or else someone else is going to do it before him. This is just an appendage of stress to the first example.

3. Another appendage: If there's a chance that him and I don't go to the same con (I go to PAX but he doesn't), there's a huge possibility I won't be able to get my cosplays done in time because I have to do his first. His stuff is always priority because if his cosplays don't get done, he throws a huge fit about how unfair it is to him that he cant do something he wants. Nevermind that means I can't do something I want either. I nearly didn't get one of my cosplays done in 2012 because I spent the entire time up to that weekend working on his stuff and ended up with only 2 days to finish my own. When I do get a chance to make something for myself, he talks about it as if it's a luxury for me and then tries to guilt me for wanting to do something that makes me happy.

[Anonymous No.7527845]

>>7527826
4. Solo cosplays and cosplays with people that aren't him is a big fat NO. If I want to do a cosplay by myself, for myself: "why do you hate cosplaying with me so much?" If I ask someone else to do a cosplay with me that he doesn't want to do? "You just want them to do it with you because you just want to do a couple cosplay with them." He completely ignores the fact that he plans his cosplays in a way that makes him the center focus so he can get pictures with everyone else, but I'm not allowed to get pictures with other people because he refuses. I am going to Fanime without him because he made a big fuss about how much fun he didn't have last year and never wanted to go again. Instead I'm going with a friend. My ex spent 6 hours yelling at me about how I'm only going with my friend because I want to date them and I'm using Fanime as an excuse to be alone with them. I have basically come to accept that I either cosplay with him or not at all.

[Anonymous No.7527908]

>>7527826
>>7527818
>>7527845
He is a self-absorbed shit head. Break up with him.

[Anonymous No.7527945]

>>7527818
>>7527826
>>7527845
>My exbf
>All my future plans are with him
>Your stupid and have no one to blame but yourself
>Tell him to fuck off and find a new chinese sweatshop
>Why do people even have to tell you this...

[Anonymous No.7527952]

>>7527945
because breakups sometimes hurt more then glue guns burns and sewing pins

[Anonymous No.7527957]

relationships aren't cosplay related, this thread is fucking stupid
"cosplay relationships" aren't a thing

[Anonymous No.7527969]

>>7527957
Obviously you're not reading the long posts above, people can become super obsessed with cosplay until it takes over their entire waking day you dolt

[Anonymous No.7527970]

>>7527952
>my ex bf
>breakups hurt more
>most likely lonely fugbeast just wanted attention so we got this novel

>>7527957
>They are to the idiots pouring their fake hearts into this thread shhhh let them let it all out then maybe they will go raid KFC

[Anonymous No.7527980]

>>7527845
>cosplays with people that aren't him is a big fat NO.
Why? He's your ex. Stop letting him trample all over you, anon.
Seriously, this guy is a self absorbed little shit.
>>7527845
>I have basically come to accept that I either cosplay with him or not at all.
this is SO stupid. No. Don't give up on your hobby because of some asshole. You have no obligation, or real reason, to cosplay with him. Go to fanime with your friend, experience cosplay without this shitlord, and have fun! Don't let this person ruin everything for you. Honestly, I would just cut him out entirely, what are you even getting from associating with him?

[Anonymous No.7527986]

>>7527980
Probably a 4 in peenor

[Anonymous No.7527997]

>>7527945
>>7527970
Yeah, he is my ex, but due to circumstances, we still live together, so we still do things together, including cosplay. We may have ended our dating relationship, but it didn't exactly end on bad terms. We just agreed we can't work as a couple because we both want different things in life. Trust me, I have tried to tell him that if he was going to act this way he could find someone else to sew his shit, but the conversation has always ended the same, and obviously I'm still putting up with his shit and making his cosplays. I'd rather suck up my pride and do whatever he wants than listen to his bitch for 3 hours. If you've never been in a shitty, dependent relationship, you wouldn't understand WHY people continue to put themselves in these positions when leaving would be the best decision.

My stories are on topic for the thread and are only longer than other stories because I went into more detail.

[Anonymous No.7527999]

>>7527997
Yeah, never had that issue, because i actually have self esteem and the will to say no to people.

[Anonymous No.7528009]

>>7527999
Pretty much

Also go listen to Independent Woman you may learn some things.
Are you the chick living with the dude who looks like a bull dyke cause if you can't say no to that you might as well marry "it" cause your hopeless

[Anonymous No.7528014]

>>7527997
Honey it's time to learn how to ignore his whining. I suggest a good pair of headphones and some good soundtracks. You don't owe him shit. If you're gonna keep being his bitch, might as well wear a collar.

[Anonymous No.7528019]

>>7527999
>>7528009
>>7528014
You aren't the first people to say this and won't be the last. Everyone has their own issues and mine is being too dependent and feeling too obligated to leave completely. I'm the only one who can make myself do anything, so when I grow a pair of balls and get over the crippling anxiety of not being around someone I've known for over a decade, I'm sure I'll be happier.

[Anonymous No.7528046]

>>7528009
No, not that person. And i have no idea who you're talking about.

[Anonymous No.7528047]

>>7528019
have fun being a door mat until then. You are part of the reason i dont feel bad for any woman in an abusive relationship. 9/10 times they choose to be and remain in it.

[Anonymous No.7528061]

>>7525429
i know its off topic but what's OP from?

[Anonymous No.7528062]

>>7528061
Utena..

[Anonymous No.7528063]

Btw, this anon >>7528046 isn't me, but I also don't know who you're talking about so I guess the response still remains the same.

[Anonymous No.7528066]

>>7528047
9/10 times they don't have a choice but to remain in it.

[Anonymous No.7528067]

>>7528062
sorry it seems obvious to you but I only just got into anime.

[Anonymous No.7528075]

>>7528066
How so?

[Anonymous No.7528077]

>>7528067
That really sucks. You missed out, big time.

[Anonymous No.7528079]

>>7528075
The abusee usually remains in an unhealthy relationship because they fear for what the abuser might do to them if they leave. Have you noticed how often abusive marriages end in death either because the abuser killed their spouse for trying to leave them or the one being abused kill their spouse because they couldn't handle the abuse anymore? If getting out of a shitty, abusive relationship was so easy, domestic violence wouldn't be a thing.

[Anonymous No.7528086]

>>7528079
If people were raised to read people's body language and very obvious red flags of people who abuse, then there wouldn't be abusive relationships. A lot of the victims often have extreme low self worth, and it just becomes a vicious cycle...

[Anonymous No.7528088]

>>7528079
>>7528075
Also to add on to anon's points, there's a lot of situations in which the person being abused is (financially) dependent on the abuser. For some, it's literally 1) they live with this terrible person, hoping they're become as nice as they once were before, or 2) live homeless on the streets.

[Anonymous No.7528089]

>>7528079
Stupid bitches are the only reason for domestic violence

[Anonymous No.7528090]

>>7528088
Thats pure BS there is always a better option ie Shelters, family, getting your fat lazy ass off the couch and getting a job and being independent
>*le gasp*
Please give up whiteknighting stupid bitches

[Anonymous No.7528091]

>>7528089
Speaking of red flags......

[Anonymous No.7528092]

>>7528091
No , i actually agree partially with >>7528089
and >>7528090 . If you can't get out, or get into that situation in the first place, it's usually your own fault. While people should be raised not to be violent jerks, being around someone who yells at you and hits you is a sign to get the hell out. It's even worse when these morons have kids with the abusers. That infuriates me.

[Anonymous No.7528094]

>>7528092
Obviously you've never been in an abusive situation if you think it's that easy to just leave. A lot of times the person going through the abuse is at the mercy of psychological torture akin to brainwashing. And other times the abuser is literally so unhinged they will actually kill or seriously hurt a person if they try to leave. Also, the thing about getting into those situations is that most abusive people are really, really, really good at lying and seeming like nice people. My grandfather is a literal psychopath. He's the most charismatic man you could ever meet. He wooed my grandmother by being the perfect picture of a gentleman with her, he swept her off her feet and made her love him so much she couldn't imagine life without him. He then proceeded to beat the shit out of my grandmother, as well as my mom and her two sisters, and my grandmother was terrified to leave him for years.

[Anonymous No.7528096]

>>7528094
Stupid women stay in these situations. Period.

[Anonymous No.7528097]

>>7528094
This exactly.

[Anonymous No.7528098]

>>7528094
No one in their right mind would have kids with their abuser and then let said abuser beat their kids. Sorry. that is bullshit. and there is always a way out. I feel no sympathy for these people.

[Anonymous No.7528100]

>>7528092
You seem to not have experienced an abusive relationship yourself, so idk why you think your opinion is relevant to people who actually have...?

[Anonymous No.7528103]

>>7528098
Tell that to the hundreds of women beaten by their husbands on a daily basis.

[Anonymous No.7528107]

>>7528098
Sometimes the abuse starts after having children. It can be extremely difficult to get out, especially if you believe the abuser may even more severely harm or kill you or your children if you try to leave.

[Anonymous No.7528108]

>>7528098
>in their right mind

[Anonymous No.7528112]

>>7528090
You do realize that people can have circumstances in which these options would not be reasonable? I'm not even talking about the person that posted in this thread, but what if someone was still in school? In some places it's difficult to even GET a job, let alone have one with enough pay for rent + necessities, considering you even have the time to be working full time. Some people could have asshole families. And living in a shelter is not a very ideal situation either.

Anyways, in relation to anon's story, their situation doesn't seem as dire as I describes but we can't really know.

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7528242]

>>7528098
I dearly hope you are some teenage cunt or a troll.

Otherwise your self-protective 'belief in a just world' logic is
a) very uneducated
b) naive to the max
c) plainly stupid
or
d) all of the above.
[This is your opportunity to get the d btw.]

I would not advise you to kill yourself but it would be sweet if you left your ivory tower and got a grip on reality.

[Anonymous No.7528251]

>>7528098
>No one in their right mind would have kids with their abuser and then let said abuser beat their kids.
The more I wonder about the past between my parents the more it seems like they fit this description. It's sad but when people have old-world values they tend to ignore what's best for them, even when acquaintances go through the same and manage to move on. Plus they also have a tendency to use the "If you leave me I'll just kill myself" line that the spouse feels guilty about. I found out a while ago from a newspaper advice column letter that one of my parents was doing that to the other.

[Anonymous No.7528257]

>>7525515
Hey he got his revenge. He never told her it was just a Betsy Johnson dress with EL wire until it was too late and she had to backtrack claiming to make it. Props to him

[Anonymous No.7528265]

Does your bf ever tell you to stop wearing sexy cosplays?

Does he get annoyed when guys give you attention?

[Anonymous No.7528266]

>>7528089
I thought the guy doing the punching was at least part of the reason but ok

[Anonymous No.7528322]

Wow, these are sad stories. I feel for everyone posting. :(
>do cosplay duos with my best friend who knows how to sew well
>we create a website for our costumes, but it is **cosplay, ** being her business name and her cosplay alias. Doesn't bother me, she cares the most about popularity, I'm just along for the ride
>start getting fanmail, approached at cons by photographers, and other cosplayers to be in groups
>she is shy, feels I am prettier (I'm not), and spends MANY cons huffing in a corner or moping in the hotel room that I am stealing her glory
>When people ask me who made my costume, I *ALWAYS* name drop her, I want my friend to succeed, I update our website, put pictures of both of us up there. I am a supportive friend, but I can only do so much to boost her self esteem problems when I am her problem
>cosplayers ask us to join their groups, when I mention opportunities to her, she gets possessive "WHY did they as YOU not ME? It's MY BUSINESS" me: "ummm, they did ask both of us, that's why I'm telling you about it... I guess I'm just the one who checked the email/talked to them in person since you were sulking in the room?"
>She begins to refuse to teach me new sewing skills, pushing costumes back until the last minute (saying we could work on them together and she would show me some new techniques) but as deadlines loomed, I would show up at her place and she would have pulled an all nighter to make both our costumes, isn't she a great friend!
>no, she was manipulating me by making sure I didn't learn any new techniques, and also making sure I had to give all sewing credit to her
>I feel sorry for her, and I sit her down and explain all of my feels, how I feel she is pushing me away, and being jealous for no reason, I have only wanted to help her and her business. Calling her on her BS and offering a solution seems to make her hate me more.
cont'd

[Anonymous No.7528329]

>>7528322
cont'd

TURNING POINT
>find out she planned a cosplay group for d*con behind my back, excluding me, even though she has gone ballistic in the past at the thought of me doing a group without her, that we should ALWAYS cosplay together.
>confront her about it, she can't even look me in the face
>go to update our website that I made for us, check email - she has taken ME out of every single photo, it is only photos of her
>ok, I get the hint. Fuck you, bye.

REVENGE
>I feel like I got dumped from an abusive relationship, grow enraged
>The anger fuels me to sharpen my cosplay skills and show myself that I don't need her to "sew all my costumes"
>What do you know, I'm better at sewing than her
>Start my own website
>Get in xbox magazine, cosmode, invited as a guest to several cons
>she hasn't made any costumes since she dumped me, quickly faded into obscurity
>this surprises me, as I never cared much about being popular, and I thought she would claw her way to the top now that she didn't have me to "hold her back" anymore, with her jealous insecurities
>guess not
>Have not talked to her a single time since then, even at cons, though I occasionally see her skulking along the wall
>Fuck you, bitch.

[Anonymous No.7528336]

>>7528322
>>7528329
sucks to be her

[Anonymous No.7528366]

I love how people come into this thread to share their experiences candidly, and then other people come into the thread to chastise them for being so "beta."

Abuse sucks, and it takes people time to grow out of that. Jfc.

[Anonymous No.7528398]

>>7528322
>>7528329
10/10 for you anon. Bitter bitch had it coming.

[Anonymous No.7528421]

>>7527818
jesus fuck anon get some help

[Anonymous No.7528727]

had a boyfriend who would constantly flirt with other girls and hit on them in front of me and then tell me I was being a controlling bitch when I asked him to stop because he was "just being in character". It took me forever to dump him cause I had such low self esteem but I spent a ton of convention time crying because I was dressed in costumes I worked so hard to cosplay with him in and then he wouldn't even look at me.

[Anonymous No.7528911]

>>7528242
So edgy

[Anonymous No.7528915]

>>7525429
And this entire thread is why people think /cgl/ has become a cesspool for tumblr hug box mentality. Wow.

[Anonymous No.7528941]

>>7528727
Boo hoo

[Anonymous No.7528945]

>>7528727
Are you Christie from DramaCon in real life? Did you find a mysterious sunglasses wearing stranger to sweep you off your feet and be a much better boyfriend?

[Anonymous No.7529018]

Was in a relationship with someone who abused me emotionally and physically after I told him I was rapped at a convention we attended and he was out with his friends when it happened. It took me breaking down after 6 months to finally leave him.
However, after having such supportive friends and counselling, I was able to move on past what happened and attend conventions again without being scared.

[Anonymous No.7529420]

>>7528329
I feel the people that do things to improve themselves seem to draw more people to and around them then the people who do things to "WOW!" other people. Do/work hard on something because you love it, not to get attention and others will respect you more for it.
But way to go anon, showed that bitch.

[Anonymous No.7529422]

>>7529018
rapped? Was it by Snoop Dogg?

[Anonymous No.7529429]

>>7529018
>>7529422

[Anonymous No.7529435]

>>7529429

[Anonymous No.7529448]

Yaya abuses her husband that way.

[Anonymous No.7529563]

>>7528336
>>7528398
>>7529420
Thanks. The moral is: the best revenge is a life well-lived. (And also a dish served cold. Like several years cold.)

Looking back, the best thing she did was dump me so I could get away from her cray. I could have left on my own, but it was hard, because I cared about her. I know how the people in this thread feel. I wish I had the courage to leave on my own, and I hope that people here are braver than I was and step the fuck up and out of their messes. (And as you can see in my case, it can get better.)

[Anonymous No.7530075]

>>7528086
This was me, my mom was a lot like Ragyo Kiryuin to give you some perspective and it took me until I was 23 to stop letting people walk all over me but in that time I got the WORST of it, and ONLY got out because I knew I would quite literally die there if not. I was never given the perspective to know where healthy boundaries lie, nor the backbone to tell someone that I'm not okay with it.

[Anonymous No.7531811]

>>7527444
Ugh I tried this today.
I told him that because he's so obsessed with me, he thinks that every picture of me is cute.
He can't see flaws in the pictures he take of me and tell me things like "hey, you're slouching, straighten up. hey, open your eyes up a little more. hey, you're smiling too wide."
His composition also tend to be pretty bad.

He got so butt mad. "You don't appreciate what I do, you're comparing me to professionals (well yeah, I want pro shots), so what if I think you look cute in every photo, that's my bias"

He didn't take the constructive criticism at all.

[Anonymous No.7532114]

Have three very close friends I cosplay with, let's call them A, B, and C. A and B are married and C is very manipulative. C is childhood friends with B and has always wanted to be with him. C is stuck in a loveless marriage but won't divorce her husband because of her religion. Not that it stopped C from doing a couple cosplay with B and taking several intimate photos together, several of which were right outside of A and B's house while A was at work one day.

TL;DR C is a bitch and A and B don't talk to her anymore.

[Anonymous No.7532142]

>>7531811
god forbid you mean the world to him. What a fucking idiot, this girl is going out with. Treats her like a queen but what she really wants is to be told how ugly she is and treated like a slut. Damn this guy for abusing her with his overall niceness

[Anonymous No.7532147]

>>7531811
Haha my boyfriend has that issue too. I'll see photos he takes of me and my legs will look wonky or short, hair is clumpy etc. All things I'm used to having the photog tell me to fix. Tell him you love him and want him to get better because you want him to be the one to take photos of you. Maybe get him some basic photography books on lighting, posture, composition etc.

[Anonymous No.7532152]

>>7531811
Where do you live? I think i know you

[Anonymous No.7532153]

>>7532142
Why are you so sandy, anon?

I didn't mean any of that.
If you saw my original post it was that he forbids me to do cosplay photoshoots with anything else but him because he's really possessive, but he can't even take good pictures himself (because he can't tell the difference between a flattering pose & angle and a unflattering one).

The anon who replied told me to show him better pics. All I wanted him to see was to open his eyes more so that he could tell the difference, but he got butthurt instead.

>>7532147
>hair is clumpy
oh god, since I won't have a mirror in a shoot, I can't tell if my wig is weird. I just got back a bunch of photos he took and my bangs was really awkward the whole time, which is something I could have totally fixed if he just told me something about it.
> Tell him you love him and want him to get better because you want him to be the one to take photos of you.
Good idea.

[Anonymous No.7532154]

>>7532142

[Anonymous No.7532155]

>>7532152
Southern Ontario
I don't think you do, I don't have many cosplaying friends to start with, let alone anyone who knows about this

[Anonymous No.7532157]

>>7532147
No that is just the unspoken boyfriend rule of not telling your girlfriend she looks bad for the camera.

Look at Maridah, dumped her photog boyfriend because he told her how to look for the camera and she threw a bitch fit because Miss Princess Royal can't possibly look bad in her pictures

[Anonymous No.7532167]

>>7532153
Then leave him. Who is he? Some asian dick that you keep around for image or something?

[Anonymous No.7532185]

>>7532167
lol he ain't even good enough for image, man.
>3 years behind on college because dropout, i had to convince him to go back
>not even that cute or asian

I've posted some of my problems with him in the feels thread a couple months ago.
Anons were pretty supportive and yet I'm struggling to follow their advice (to break up with him).
Still working on it, though.

[Anonymous No.7532192]

>>7532185
So explain to me why you are still with him? Do you consider yourself a bushbeast or something that will be forever alone if you leave?

[Anonymous No.7532210]

>>7532185
Wait a second.....do you live in Jersey?

[Anonymous No.7532216]

>>7532192
Something like that, anyways.
More like I'm scared of being alone, even for a short period of time.
I'm too dependent on him, fuck.

>>7532210
>>7532155

[Anonymous No.7532240]

>>7532216
Find a support group outside of him who can be there with you directly after the breakup (ie, close friend you can stay with for a few days or something) so that you don't feel alone. It's hard, but ultimately, if you aren't happy, you aren't happy, and life is too short for that shit.

[Anonymous No.7532282]

>>7532216
Post a picture, I will judge your worthiness

[Anonymous No.7532293]

Sorry if attention whoring.

>>7532282
First post of suggestion thread

>>7532240
Thanks, anon. Sometimes I feel like my friends are tired of my bullshit though.
It's been the same thing for months, and I've heard the same advice over and over.
https://archive.rebeccablacktech.com/cgl/thread/S7348658#p7349670
I'm trying though, I'm working towards breaking up with him and planning out the things I would say.

[Anonymous No.7532299]

>you will never be in an abusive relationship with a bipolar lolita who dresses to the nines 24/7 and treats you like her live-in butler and slave
>you will never be a comfortable chair for a girl while she sits on your back in a giant fluffy dress, drinks tea, and posts constructively on /cgl/
>you will never experience the true esoteric joys of having to squirrel your head through 3.5 feet of layered fabrics to find the vagina you're supposed to be licking

[Anonymous No.7532305]

>>7532299
>tfw boyfriends like this don't actually exist

[Anonymous No.7532307]

>>7532299
>mfw in this relationship now

[Anonymous No.7532342]

>>7532293
I know how you feel. It took me 5 years to get out of an abusive relationship with a guy I married who constantly cheated on me. I went to live with my mom after but she doesn't know the whole story so she's been very positive about how we're just young and will work things out. Only had a couple online friends so I felt pretty alone. Mom thought I was unreasonably upset and we got in a lot of heated arguments over it. Tried to scare me into rethinking suicide by telling me I should do it and insisting I don't even have a plan. Still don't quite understand that logic.

I'll be honest though. It's been a little over a year and I'm finally with someone new now but I still constantly think of suicide. The only thing that keeps my mind off of it is being with friends somewhere loud and distracting. In my current situation I'm alone at home 90% of the week though.

[Anonymous No.7532407]

>>7530075
I know the Ragyomom feel.

My one exploitative cosplay relationship involved teaching someone to sew and doing their wig styling and whatever they deemed grunt work. This ranged from random parts of cosplays to multiple costumes per con, always at the cost of my costumes for myself. The other person got moderately tumblr popular and dragged my name through the mud both times I left. I could never go back now, though I miss feeling close to someone in this hobby. And being able to hang out with people at cons through her, since I've always been too anxious to make confriends myself.

outside of cosplay, I'm trying to get unentrenched from a really fucked up physically/emotionally/verbally/sexually abusive situation with my "best friend." After financially supporting him and getting him a new apartment in exchange for a place to move to after some really intense family stuff, he never speaks to me. We've been close for years and he's the only person I know that isn't like 8 hours away. I've been thinking about ending it all. I've already lost my family and haven't been close to my remaining friends in years.

[R.D. !!73iCscAAWq1 No.7532411]

>>7532342
First of all: Kudos on getting out of that hell, Anon. It must have been very hard and in these situations it is usually very courageous to change the circumstances.

Your current situation seems not the ideal as well, if I read about your suicidal thoughts.
It is very much time spent alone with your bad thoughts, Anon.
I know that many people in the same situation find it helpful to keep to a certain daily structure. Of course you came from a very stressful situation and you definitely deserve some rest from it but it worries me that you are alone with your thoughts.
knowing that you already turned around one bad situation, I wonder whether it might help you to change the current situation as well?

What I was thinking about is mainly doing something productive that has to do with other people. Maybe it would help you to pick up a job, an internship, college courses or a new hobby in a group, where you are distracted from your damaging thoughts?
even voluntary tasks, like helping out in your community might give you more contact to people, a task that distracts you from your thoughts and the good feeling that you are needed, that you do something useful - not only for the community/costumers/others but also for yourself.
Of course it will be hard in the beginning to reapply such a schedule to your life - it can be hard to get up and out if depression is gnawing on you but everytime you make it, you will come back much stronger.

On a longterm basis, it might also help you to see someone with whom you can work on the thoughts considering your past situation. It does not necessarily have to be a therapist - there are probably groups of people that have suffered the same situation and in which you could talk about what happened and gain a new perspective on it.

You had the strength and courage to get out of a damaging situation and I believe you still have the strength to change the circumstances for the better.

[Anonymous No.7533656]

>>7532299

[Anonymous No.7533679]

>>7532293
>https://archive.rebeccablacktech.com/cgl/thread/S7348658#p7349670
oh anon...

[Anonymous No.7533904]

A friendship that turned sour. I helped her sew so many of her cosplays, made her props, let her use my craft materials. I'm kinda crazy about things like my paintbrushes... I don't like to let people use them yet she managed to ruin them. We would get along but whenever it was time to make something for her, I would tell her "ok, I will HELP YOU but I can't do everything for you" and we would plan sewing days where we were suposed to work on respective projects. In the end, she would sit in a corner in my sewing room texting and I would sew her projects for her. Not once she has credited me for the work I did for her. Now that our "friendship" has fallen through (because I had the audacity to stand up to up this one time about something else), she's been bad mouthing me to the cosplay community in my area and I've become somewhat of a paria. It's fucking horrible. She knows a lot of people and is associated with a lot of conventions here...

Recently I've made new friends and got a bit of recognition and she's been bashing me. I just want her fail miserably and I just want to keep improving in my craft, prove her wrong.

[Anonymous No.7534029]

>>7533904
I know the feel anon, I will be your friend

[Anonymous No.7536188]

>>7528094
>obviously you have never been in an abusive relationship

Yeah, I'm not an idiot with no backbone.

[Anonymous No.7536535]

>>7527763
Someone's mad. Hit a little close to home there?

[Anonymous No.7536568]

>>7536188
back to r9k with you

[Anonymous No.7536611]

>>7528090
Codependency and abusive relationships aren't always about not being able to leave financially, but emotionally.

I've met people who are well off financially and have a family, but they can't reach out for them out for fear. On top of everything, it's not easy to leave your abuser because you develop an unhealthy urge to be with them. You -need- to be with them, in which case therapy is necessary.

>>7528096
>women
My brother was in an abusive relationship for 5 years. He's a successful doctor who never had any history of abuse in his relationships until he met his ex wife.

Abusive relationships are like an addiction. Telling someone "if he/she abuses you then leave" it's the same as "if you're depressed just be happy xD". It doesn't fucking work like that.

Abuse starts of gradually, for the most part, and the reason why people stay in these relationships is because they hope they can change their partner. They're aware their partner is violent but they think they can hope to change their ways. To some people it's stupid and as simple as getting up and leaving, but it is much more complex than what you think it is.

[Anonymous No.7538425]

>>7536611
>"if you're depressed just be happy xD". It doesn't fucking work like that.
Actually it does, you just haven't realized it yet cuz you're still a teen. Let me borrow the words of others to impart some crucial life advice:
"The cause of your misery is not in your outer life; it is in you, as your ego. You impose limitations on yourself and then make a vain struggle to transcend them."
"The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not. The cure for it is occupation."
"Only he who restrains every vestige of empiricism and ceases to rely upon anything can become a tranquil man.
No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as necessary to our happiness as realities."

>Abuse starts of gradually, for the most part, and the reason why people stay in these relationships is because they hope they can change their partner
Why would you settle with somebody if they aren't even someone with a personality you're at least 95% comfortable with? Nevermind, it's probably close to what >>7527986 had in mind.

[Anonymous No.7539482]

>>7536568
I'm sorry I'm not a little bitch? People with self respect don't let other people shit all over them.

[Anonymous No.7539502]

>>7539482
Maybe not shit but I once let a girl from /cgl/ piss down my throat.

[Anonymous No.7539799]

>>7532307
Me too anon