Vent Thread

[Anonymous No.8655632]

Old thread is auto-saging its way off page 10. Spill your cosplay and EGL-related rants and problems.

>Running taobao order
>Friend orders literally seven fucking pairs of shoes
>I pay the SS, they tell me I'm actually like 50RMB short because her shoes have to be shipped freight or something
>Tell friend, she gives internet equivalent of shrugging and walking away
>I think she expects me to front her the money
>Not gonna fuckin happen sister

[Anonymous No.8655686]

I wish I had a lolita friend with a similar income/budget as me.
I love my best friend, but she has a lower income and she's always been a penny-pincher. We both look at sales all the time, but I'm the only one who ever buys things. And these days, I don't want to tell her when I buy something new because it just seems like bragging. But I miss being excited about it together.
The girls in my comm are nice, but I haven't really clicked with anyone yet.
I used to see the /cgl/ friend finder threads, but I'm always too pussy. I'm going to see if I'm ready to make an idiot out of myself next time on comes up. We really should make "monthly lolita budget" a category for lolitas.

[Anonymous No.8655712]

>have group of 4 that goes to cons together
>5th guy finally turns 18 and can come with us now, yay
>hey 6th guy wants to come too
>oh 7th guy heard they're fun and is interested
5th guy is a definite, but 6th and 7th are a lot more flaky and honestly I don't think they'll make it. Meanwhile I book hotel and while fitting 5 people in a 2 bed room is fine with us (there's two couples), I'm not comfortable with 6 or 7 cramming in there.
>just plan on them not going
With my luck, they'll end up wanting to actually come and the rest of my group will feel bad about them not having a place to stay. Or I could book two reservations and cancel whichever ends up not panning out?

On a related note
>pls open reservations, Sakura-con hotels

[Anonymous No.8655715]

>comm's Halloween meet involves a picnic
>people post asking for more details (morning/afternoon, if we bring food etc)
>apparently there's some other picnic being planned
>host doesn't want to have two picnics so close to each other/possibly on the same day
>no one knows anything about this second picnic, not even mods
>what the shit
The Halloween picnic has been planned months ago, why suddenly cancel it now for this mysterious other picnic no one's heard of wtf.

[Anonymous No.8655745]

>took break from lolita
>like a 100% done-with-this-shit break from lolita
>partially because lol mental illness and partially because my entire fucking comm is lolcows and drama-mongers
>finally get my life back in something resembling order
>All these fucking fabulous prints have passed me by
>mfw I can't throw money at dresses like Luminous Sanctuary etc because nobody is selling the colorways I want

wtb luminous sanctuary dress version in navy, white if i get really desperate

[Anonymous No.8655751]

>>8655686
If you're in the Netherlands, I'm a beginning lolita on a budget too! (Without any lolita friends yet)

[Anonymous No.8655756]

>>8655751

I think she wants someone with a higher budget, anon.

Although if I understand you correctly (budget for me means can't spend much on lolita), I get your pain - I was just recently a poorfag student on a budget so I mean, it's not so long ago that I still don't empathise with you guys.

[Anonymous No.8655766]

>>8655745
We are one

[Anonymous No.8655796]

>>8655745
Luminous Sanctuary is getting a rerelease, maybe hit up some SS's.

[Anonymous No.8655921]

Gonna just repost my rundown from the comm thread, because if I have to type it again, someone's ass is going on BTB.

>>This salty anon applied for a position as admin of a bigger comm, when a jackass from most local comm who's only ever been to one and a half meets (I'm not counting the second one as a full meet because bringing lolita in canvas totes from a con and not changing at all is most embarrassing behaviour) tried to sabotage my application.

>>By dobbing me in to the girls making the selection behind my back, about a joke I played on another girl from my comm. A joke she thought was hilarious, and I knew she'd enjoy because we're really close, and snide-chan made me sound like a bullying cunt.

>>Lucky for anon, she is friends with both of the girls making the choice, so one knew exactly what had happened and the other knew that she isn't a horrible human being. I've been told it won't affect my application at all, but I'm still pissed off at pissant-chan.

[Anonymous No.8655963]

>>8655712

Book two rooms, but take payment for the hotel fees up front and tell them you're not going to cover the cancellation fees if they flake.

Most hotels will charge a cancellation fee after a certain date, so make sure you get everybody's share of hotel fees in hand first. If the 6th and 7th do flake, deduct the room cancellation fee from what they paid you, and then refund the rest. That way the group that is going is not going to be punished for whoever ends up flaking. Hopefully just talking about having to pay a cancellation fee for flaking out will make 6th and 7th think twice about whether they really want to go, they might drop out at that point, which would make things easier for you.

In the event that 6th and 7th do actually go, you'll have two rooms to spread out and relax in.

[Anonymous No.8655982]

I want to buy so much but I can't

[Anonymous No.8655987]

>tfw customs
Any time I see something I want for sale I have to mentally double the price because that's how much it usually ends up costing before it's in my hands...

[Anonymous No.8655989]

>>8655686
I feel this. Except with figures. My friends always make me feel like shit when I buy a new one because they don't "have that kind of money". I'm so annoyed by it. I shouldn't have to feel like shit for buying something for myself just because you can't?
I want to take nice pictures of my collection too but they'll never let me hear the end of how I'm just "rubbing it in their faces".

[Anonymous No.8655991]

>straight up scared to look at my bank account and how much of my wages I've spent on an upcoming con/cosplay
>know it's in the region of $500
>not sure why I'm so worried about it
>have $3k in the bank
>have saved all my wages for the past 3 years with very little to none going on something for me
>no debt, no outstanding bills, nothing urgent to pay
>got a new, better paying job too
>still constantly feel guilty and shitty about spending money on myself
>why? fuck this shit

[Anonymous No.8656031]

>some fuck puts in a maximum bid on an item you really need above your price range

[Anonymous No.8656037]

>>8655991
Are you me :( have the same saved in bank, paid all bills, spent like 650- 700 on random lolita crap and probably will still have a shit coord. I feel so guilty, I don't make that much, though

[Anonymous No.8656119]

> con tomorrow
> PMS is raging
> IBS is raging
> my ass is seriously not ready for this

[Anonymous No.8656128]

> Left lolita comm because it's made out of drama-mongers
> Want to get back into it
> See older comm member telling another member "I'm putting our friendship on probation. You're not allowed to talk to me for x amount of time."
> Bitch, you're way over 30 and have your popular accessory "brand" that can't even properly restock on etsy
> See more 25-30+ year olds giggling over this petty drama
> I guess I'll stay a lone lolita until the end of time

[Anonymous No.8656171]

>>8655987
Thiiisss. I had two lolita items delivered yesterday and I had to pay $40 extra, I was so mad

[Anonymous No.8656177]

>>8655991
>>8656037
This is me.
>Have huge savings
>Get new job that pays me every weekend
>Spend a lot on lolita because I now have the opportunity to do so
>Feel fucking guilty for spending so much while I have enough left

I'm not going to buy anything the upcoming next months.

[Anonymous No.8656191]

>>8656171
>€200 dress with €15 shipping
>€100 customs fee
step up senpai

>>8655991
>iktf
Doesn't help that my boyfriend keeps teasing my about the "ridiculous number of packages" (4 in the last year) that are delivered to our door. He likes to joke about me being a shopoholic and I know he's just joking, but meh.

[Anonymous No.8656209]

>first time buying on eBay
>first package arrived without problems
>discover that my fuckhead mail carrier has a fee of 21€ if your package gets caught by customs (on top of the VAT, which I don't mind paying)
>pray to all gods that the second package makes it too

If I had bought a shitload of stuff it would at least be somewhat compensated, but it's just a hakama...

[Anonymous No.8656227]

>>8656191
>€100 customs fee
I'm scared now since I have a €300 dress coming in the mail soon

[Anonymous No.8656257]

>>8656191
4 in the last year is fucking nothing, jesus. I used to know this chick who would have like 3 or 4 boxes off amazon come for her daily. tell your boyfriend to knock it off if it bothers you

>>8656227
I suggest that you look up the taxing system in your country to get an idea of how much you'd face in taxes, and if it does catch the eye of customs you can ask if the seller could write you a shitty invoice that lists it as cheaper (should work unless they've listed the value on the box or they're a big busy brand) or just ask for a two part invoice and only give customs one part when they ask. in the future you can ask for two part invoices, it's not like they're going to look up your burando for its value
also remember that shipping costs aren't taxed and usually need to be listed as well, separately - so use the part of the invoice that lists the shipping as well.

[Anonymous No.8656293]

MLD probably fucked up the customs form, asked for them to lower the value from 80 to 50 dollars on the package, but I still have to pay 40 euros. and they didn't even let me know they already shipped it, that annoys me the most. hope they reply soon to my complaint

[Anonymous No.8656307]

>>8656257
In the UK, VAT is charged on the price of goods + postage and packaging- there is no escape here

[Anonymous No.8656321]

>>8655632
>be me
>starting out in lolita
>want to buy from taobao/brands that don't ship overseas
>have a weird fears of shopping services
>only buy secondhand because of this

[Anonymous No.8656322]

>>8656307
oh, you poor souls. (that's fucking ridiculous though, it's not like you can choose the price of shipping in most cases)

[Anonymous No.8656345]

>>8655991
>>8656037
life pro tip: if you are scared of looking at your bank account balance, you should look at your bank account balance

[Anonymous No.8656375]

>>8655989
Take photos of your collection. It's yours and you earned it. There is nothing wrong with being proud of what you paid for. And if they want to be booty bothered and jealous that's there problem. It just means you have an awesome collection.

[Anonymous No.8656412]

>>8655989

If they're poseable take pictures of your figures fucking each other and post em. They're your expensive plastic people, do what you want with them.

[Anonymous No.8659114]

> Have friends that want to start an online shop for anime merchandise
> "Anon, do you know any distributors?"
> Yes, but you need to have a business license and tax ID
> Also tell them that it takes a lot of money to start up something like that
> They start flipping out
> "We don't want to pay taxes or start a REAL business, we just want to sell things online!"
> Tell them to buy their stock from amiami or something
> "But I heard that you can get merch at a very cheap price and I want to know how to get it."
> Rinse and repeat for a couple days
> Suddenly want to have a booth at a con
> Tell them the same exact thing as before
> "GOSH, ANON, WE DON'T WANT TO START AN ACTUAL BUSINESS! ONLY OLD PEOPLE HAVE BUSINESS LICENSES AND PAY TAXES!"

I also know a lolita version of these people and I don't get how people don't understand how starting an online shop works.

[Anonymous No.8659138]

>>8655632
>have $15k stored away in bank
>have decent paying and enjoyable job
>hardly ever spend money on non-necessities besides convention stuff or buying the occasional jewelry or figure every few months or going out to eat once a month or so
>still feel irresponsible getting a hotel room for my local con cause the con's in an expensive, touristy area

[Anonymous No.8659141]

>>8655632
Will they let you ditch the shoes and just ship your stuff?

[Anonymous No.8659146]

>>8656037
Going to have to say same here too. I have a pretty decent amount of savings in the bank, but I still feel guilty and like I'm just blowing my money and not being responsible for buying anything that's not a needed item, even though I have so much savings and I make sure all bills get paid first. I start leaning towards not wanting to spend on (or spend very little) anything that's a non-necessity and just pile up even more money each month in savings because it's the adult thing to do.

[Anonymous No.8659149]

>>8655991
>>8656177
Going to have to say same here too. I have a pretty decent amount of savings in the bank, but I still feel guilty and like I'm just blowing my money and not being responsible for buying anything that's not a needed item, even though I have so much savings and I make sure all bills get paid first. I start leaning towards not wanting to spend on (or spend very little) anything that's a non-necessity and just pile up even more money each month in savings because it's the adult thing to do.

[Anonymous No.8659165]

>>8659114
They deserve slaps upside the head.
>we don't want to run a real business but want real business margins!

[Anonymous No.8659306]

>go through arduous process of putting all my tenso address info into a rakuten shop
>complete everything, get it sent off
>find out the shop does english orders w/ EMS shipping to the US almost immediately afterwards
>godfuckingdammit

>package arrives at tenso super fucking fast
>I'm down with paying an extra $5 to use a decent english interface instead of the broken-ass google translated rakuten shop
>Tenso's closed today because lol weekend
>godfuckingdammit

I just want my dress...

[Anonymous No.8659316]

>>8659138
>tfw this is me
>tfw guilty af feelings for even dipping into those savings once in a while for lolita even though i always replace what i take out in the end
>i don't even have a car or shit because i use public transportation and don't want to drive (medical reason)
>always pay bills on time, no debt at all, etc.
but despite that i'll never get over these dumb feelings of shame whenever i buy something that isn't a necessity or food, god
>tfw mom also always says how those should be savings "for your retirement!!"
>chill out mom i'm not even 30 yet i won't be retiring for another 30+ years the savings will be like two-three times that by then (or more) because i put in hundreds per month without fail
>tfw she won't chill out
i know she means well but still, i just want to buy brand or even go to an expensive con every now and then without feeling shame for it

[Anonymous No.8659339]

>>8655963
Just make sure you read the fine print on what rooms you book. Many hotels will let you cancel by X date with no penalty, but hotels that are frequently used for conventions can charge you non-refundable deposits or the entire stay (also non-refundable) up front. So make sure you know what you're getting into before you book it.

[Anonymous No.8659638]

>moving through busy con crowd in cosplay, carrying backpack and purse
>photographer stops me to take pic
>"can you lose the bags? And move your badge please"
>we are literally in the middle of a crowd
>"...no"
>he gives me a frustrated stanky ass look and walks away just as quickly as he came
I get that photographers don't want stuff like bags or badges in their shots but ?? The fuck was he expecting from me? He couldnt just wait and follow me into a less crowded area for a pic ? I'm not going to drop all my shit in the middle of a crowd for a dimly lit hallway shot, how fucking rude

[Anonymous No.8660037]

>Holy Lantern set still "sourcing from JP warehouse"
This is baby's first new burando purchase so maybe this is just how long AP takes to mail things out, but my need to have those things in my greedy hands is killing me.

[Anonymous No.8660707]

>Normalfag sister is going to a Marvel themed party.
>"Anon, can I borrow a wig?"
>"No because last time you spilled booze on it and let your drunk friends try it on and wreck it"
>"You're so selfish with your things!"
>Link her to a decent quality, cheap wig that will arrive in time.
>Ignores my advice and buys a shitty party city wig twice the price because "I don't trust Chinese sellers"
>Doesn't wear the wig because "It's itchy!" and spray dyes her hair instead.

[Anonymous No.8660709]

>>8660707
fucking casuals

[Anonymous No.8660715]

>>8656209
Germanfag?
If so, you should google "Selbstverzollung" and "GDSK".

Sounds like the crap they're pulling.

[Anonymous No.8660722]

>>8660709
I'm not going to nitpick a costume for a party or Halloween but it boils my blood that every year she'll ask to borrow my stuff or where to buy things, ignore it and buy the shittiest quality stuff.

[Anonymous No.8660724]

I fucking hate European custom fees/import fees.

You're fucked no matter what you do, either you put all the info in nicely and you'll have a 90% chance of paying half the price of the package on top of it.
Or you get your package marked down or marked as a gift, which has the risk of them finding out and paying stupidly high priced fee.

Sometimes I genuinely want to move to the US just so I can order shit online in peace and finally order from TB without worrying about shipping.

[Anonymous No.8660725]

vent: people who circle-jerk to validate their opinions.

seagulls are so dependant on others agreeing with them it's insane. it's okay to have a differing opinion. you don't need to start a crusade to make sure you have people on your side against an imaginary opposition.

[Anonymous No.8660739]

>>8660724
>Sometimes I genuinely want to move to the US just so I can order shit online in peace and finally order from TB without worrying about shipping.

We feel the same towards Europe sometimes, anon.

>everything looks so pretty
>slightly saner politicians
>no risk of Trump destroying the continent
>you can go to other countries in Europe on a freaking weekend trip (here, you're two states over if you're lucky)
>all the lolita events/meet-ups

But then I remember "Oh shit, they actually have to pay ransoms just to get their mail." and coming from a person who orders a ton of stuff to make some extra money for my hobbies.. that's a nightmare come true.

[Anonymous No.8660747]

>>8655686
Why don't you just not boast about your purchases to the friend if you want to be considerate about how she feels? There's a difference between being excited about a purchase and rubbing it in everyone's face.
Or you know, EXPLAIN to your best friend how you're feeling instead of trying to shut her out and get new friends on the side. You sound like a person who's afraid of confrontation, but actually, being non-confrontational is a good way to create some needless worry and drama too you know.

[Anonymous No.8660770]

>>8660739
Europe can be nice but it massively depends on exactly where you are. EU as a system is shit, traveling around easy is pretty much the only benefit (for most people, business wise it's a different story) and we're currently facing a massive refugee crisis.

That and having to sell my soul to get my fucking packages.

[Anonymous No.8660771]

>>8660739
i heard europe hates dogs

[Anonymous No.8660790]

>salty cunts get their salty thread and the winter ball thread deleted at the same time

janitors, come on.

>no BtB threads, even though it's one of the biggest OC factories and nothing the comm, lolita gen, and miscellaneous cringe threads don't already do
>on-topic feels and on-topic relationshop threads deleted whenever that one misogynist derails them
>now a thread with a low profile and on-topic discussion is deleted when it caused no drama and broke no rules

sometimes you're bro-tier but other times i think you would rather demolish anything that would make your job difficult rather than actually do your job. please delete rule-breaking posts before you nuke an entire fucking thread.

and let us have BtB threads. the content posted and discussed there is discussed in other threads all the time anyway, why so adamant about BtB?

[Anonymous No.8660797]

>Never pay attention to new brand releases because I prefer the secondhand market and taobao brands
>See Meta's Squirrel release and know this was the brand release I was meant for
>Rush over to the site
>It's sold out only in the cut I want
I have no face.

Really though, when do you think people will start reselling their Little Squirrel dresses? Maybe a month or so? I need that fur collar jsk in green...

[Anonymous No.8660817]

>>8660739
>you can go to other countries in Europe on a freaking weekend trip
No you can't, unless you live in a very small country like Liechtenstein or Monaco or near a border. Who the fuck started this bullshit?

[Anonymous No.8660837]

>>8660817
you can relatively easily drive across anything smaller than Iceland. I live in a country where you can go from one end of the country to another in 4 hours. technically you can even cross germany in 8 or 9 hours

[Anonymous No.8660847]

>>8660837
This. You can definitely go on weekend trips in Europe. I was able to visit Spain, England, and Germany very easily when I was in France (plus blew through The Netherlands and Belgium). It sometimes took me when we took the train, sure, it took us about 8 hours, but it takes me almost 8 hours to drive from my hometown to the city I go to uni at back in the US, and that's within the same fucking state.
Also Europe has pretty good public transport and cheap as fuck airfares for short trips.

>>8660797
I'm sure some will start popping up soon, although your pickings might be slim. Most people who buy Meta hold onto it, at least compared to brands like Baby and AP.

[Anonymous No.8660849]

People need to stop looking at every cosplay/lolita famewhore and trying to debate whether or not they act the way they do because "they might actually be autistic don't ya think??? (insert internet resources about autism)". The internet insult "lol autist" slang was bad enough but this just plain hurts. Are you trying to say that someone can't be on the spectrum and be well-liked, that we'll always be cringey and hated no matter how hard we try? That every bad person in the world is *obviously* autistic, like we can't be trying hard to be good people? That we can't try and be a part of society without looking and acting like shit?
Honestly, it makes me wish I never existed, because I'll obviously never be anything more than a laughing stock in the egl community because of a disability I was born with.

[Anonymous No.8660853]

>>8660771
I heard Europe kicked a cat once.

[Anonymous No.8660857]

>>8660847
Yeah, I hardly see Meta releases. Which is terrible because I love Meta/ I don't think I'll ever find their airline set either...

[Anonymous No.8660928]

>>8660849
We're in the same boat but you mustn't let it get to you. See it as a meme even if it's a stupid one. I dislike everyone and their dog getting armchair diagnosed with autism the same way, but you just have to ignore it.

I really do wish people had a better idea of what autism actually is though, people seem to be surprised when I tell it because they seem to have the perception that everyone with autism can't hold a conversation.

[Anonymous No.8660941]

Doing a Love Live group. One of the 9 girls hasn't even ordered her taobao costume yet, and the con is in 7 weeks. It needs to be custom made. And she has to order boots and stuff too. It's pissing me off, I bought mine a month ago and it hasn't shipped to the service yet, let alone to here. You shouldn't agree to a group unless you can 100% afford it and get everything in time.

[Anonymous No.8660974]

I caught in the middle between

"OMG shut up about people whose costumes and bodies aren't perfect it does matter it's cosplay and they're having fun"

and

"If you look like shit people won't stop you for pictures or reblog your posts because they don't want a picture of your cheap, unskilled, inaccurate costume and they don't owe you attention or praise."

Both sides annoy the crap out of me.

[Anonymous No.8661000]

I'm caught in the middle between

"OMG shut up about people whose costumes and bodies aren't perfect it doesn't matter it's cosplay and they're having fun"

and

"If you look like shit people won't stop you for pictures or reblog your posts because they don't want a picture of your cheap, unskilled, inaccurate costume and they don't owe you attention or praise."

Both sides annoy the crap out of me.

[Anonymous No.8661009]

>>8660715

Nah, I'm a neighbour though (Frenchfag). Sad to know that this sort of shit happens elsewhere too (here it's Chronopost... I'm happy that my seller provides free EMS, but I wish we didn't have to worry about this bullshit)

[Anonymous No.8661209]

>>8661000
Same anon. Both sides are to much of "everyone should follow my definition of beauty and other wise you suck"

[Anonymous No.8661211]

>>8660849

Some dogs bark and bite mailmen.

Fido barks and bites mailmen.

Fido may be a dog.

Note that nowhere does this imply that all dogs bark and bite mailmen.

[Anonymous No.8661223]

>People of any size/shape/color can cosplay whatever they want ~ Body positivity!! Do what you love ~ uwu
>OMG!! Rose Quartz is NOT skinny!! Fatphobic bitch!!! Get out!!!
>How DARE you cosplay korra, white girl!! Not accurate!!
Gotta love that double standard.

[Anonymous No.8661250]

>>8656119
I feel you. Both problems.
And while still trying getting ready anyways I had a ovarian cyst rupture.
I missed out on everything.
I hate my fucked up organs.

[Anonymous No.8661328]

>>8660849
what are you even talking about? those debates only occur when the person has been missing social clues, is weirdly obsessive and the likes, it never had anything to do with hate or badness. same with the insult most of the time, really.

also, that's a really dumb reason for not wanting to exist... if you're a laughing stock, i would guess it's more because of your personality than your autism.

[Anonymous No.8661333]

>>8661223
I friggin hate this
When you tell black or fat cosplayers that white or skinny cosplayers aren't accurate enough to be certain characters, you also tell those cosplayers to "stay in their box"

[Anonymous No.8661533]

>just go to a convention last month
>next convention isn't for eight months
>desperate for another convention
>can't find one friends are rooming at that isn't either too soon to afford or too close to my other convention to be able to afford

Sucks so hard. One Autumn convention and one Summer convention so it's too hot to wear my more complex costumes twice a year so they just sit in my closet and rot.

[Anonymous No.8661562]

I hate kikes because of their shameless exploitation of the Holohoax, which they blew out of proportion thanks to the falsified reports that they forged in many of the post-war kangaroo courts. It has been over 60 years ago, yet you're still using it as an excuse to get a free pass on EVERYTHING: the insane manipulation of media, the lobbying, the atrocities you're committing against the Palestinians in the lands you STOLE thanks to your Jew friends in the United Kingdom.
Everyone knows what you're doing and you've been doing in these 50 years, the only reason this spiral of silence still exists today is because you'd be called a Nazi, an anti-semite, you'de be ostracized from society.
Can you imagine a Kurd terrorist being excused because 90 years ago the Ottomans attempted to kill his people? It would be inexcusable, but then again Jews have their friends in Hollywood who love to line their pockets by tugging at goyim's heartstrings.
I'm fucking sick and tired of your slimeball tactics. If you really have the support of people in the western hemisphere then are you still wasting no effort to influence and manipulate public opinione, kikes?

[Anonymous No.8661576]

>>8660739
>Hurr le Trump is evil

Your tears sustain me

[Anonymous No.8662357]

I am in a tight knit lolita group, but along this year I had a fall out with one of the members, she used to be a really good friend, but because of a series of events and her paranoid and over-sensitive behaviour I decided to cut contact with her. The problem is she's really prominent and I won't be able to go to future meets without seeing her. I'm thinking of just drifting apart completely from the group, since I'm in great terms with some of the members, and we keep in touch anyway. I think she lurks here but honestly I don't give a shit anymore.

[Anonymous No.8662363]

>>8660849
i keep my autism to myself mostly. of course it means i can't fucking talk to other lolitas without spaghetti-ing everywhere and it means I have no chance of being a popular member of my comm no matter how nicely I'm dressed. I'm trying to learn social skills, I really am

[Anonymous No.8662789]

>>8662357
Are you me anon?

I have the same issue but I am more than likely still going to my comms meets. Just going to cut ties with this one person from my personal life so that the only time I have to deal with her is at events.

[Anonymous No.8662814]

>>8661223
I hate sjw too, but /cgl/ only cares about being "correct" when it involves them, white young women. This is so dumb, stop pretending like you care whats right, when you're actually just butthurt about delusional sjw's ideas. It's like the "not all men" thing.

[Anonymous No.8662850]

>>8660849
I think a big problem that's feeding that is when lolcows self diagnose and proclaim loudly to the world that they're "autistic" when they really have different underlying problems that are mostly due to them being shit people. People see these assholes and associate autism with their bullshit and start thinking that behavior is autistic and apply it to other lolcows.

[Anonymous No.8662868]

>>8659316
i have the opposite problem. I'm trying to fix two years of bad spending habits from college. But would it help if you put aside a bit of money each month to work up to a big purchase?

[Anonymous No.8662891]

>>8661000
I think that people should cosplay whoever they want. If you're having fun who am I to stop you? But that doesn't mean that I have to think it looks good. Cosplays look the best when the person actually looks like the character and usually they get more praise.

[Anonymous No.8662942]

>>8660857
You will. I found one last year, was so pumped. It looked like shit on me though, so I sold it. The jsk was short as expected, but also huge in the bust and waist. It was an odd dress.

[Anonymous No.8663015]

>>8660797
That happened to me and I just emailed the sold out item form and got it. It might be a bit late for you now though. Someone is already selling the OP in the sales thread so keep an eye out.

[Anonymous No.8663323]

>>8662789
I can't hide it when I don't like someone, and I'm bound to have a bad time if that person is in my circle; I'm not that worried since I don't wear lolita much anymore due to work and college, but it still makes me a tad sad that I won't be able to enjoy in a group as I used to. Going to different comms isn't an option either because they're either crazier than this girl or full of terrible teenage itas.

[Anonymous No.8663630]

>>8659306
How did you even find a dress on rakuten? I'm clicking through endless piles of normie shit, other than yukata which I would never wear

[Anonymous No.8663657]

>>8663630
What are you looking for on Rakuten? It has different stores. Various brands have Rakuten storefronts, and there are several consignment stores that use Rakuten as well.

[Anonymous No.8663658]

>>8662868
Little things add up. Go cold turkey, don't even buy a snack. Buy only things you absolutely NEED like groceries, textbooks, and rent and then a few times a year, you'll be able to buy a couple dresses and designer shoes

[Anonymous No.8663661]

>>8663657
I want bags, blouses, jewelry, headpieces, tights, and umbrellas that would be appropriate for classic or oldschool coords. Bags are priority, then blouses, then jewelry and umbrellas. I am just having trouble with the sorting functions, maybe it's because I'm on mobile

[Anonymous No.8663688]

>>8663661
I'd say DreamV is good for accessories and tights, and Lumiebre has pretty great umbrellas/parasols.
http://www.rakuten.ne.jp/gold/lumiebre/
http://www.rakuten.ne.jp/gold/dreamv/

I found some old Rakuten lists on EGL but some of the links are broken:
http://egl.livejournal.com/16599107.html
http://egl.livejournal.com/12814262.html

If you're okay with secondhand, here are some consignment stores:
http://www.rakuten.co.jp/tokyoalice/
http://www.rakuten.co.jp/violetblue/
http://global.rakuten.com/en/search/?sm=3&k=LOLITA&l-id=shop_header_search_regular&sid=auc-grandbazaar

[Anonymous No.8663690]

>>8661223
I've literally only seen this on troll blogs
Cgl shits on tumblr too much when y'all are of the same vein

[Anonymous No.8663698]

>>8663688
*sorry, I meant bags not tights. I have no fucking clue why I typed that. They have heart bags and stuff.

[Anonymous No.8663700]

>>8655632
Pic related is how you guys sound discussing/calling tanning in cosplay as blackface.

[Anonymous No.8663707]

>>8663688
Saging BC I've gotten off topic

But thanks so much!! You are a life saver. I was getting so frustrated every time I tried to use it because I didn't know what specific shops to look for

[Anonymous No.8663732]

>Menu for the comm's next big meet is croudsourced because ~we have to be inclusive of everyone's dietary restrictions~
>Ridiculous shit like "I'm allergic to celery I can't be within ten feet of it!! You can't even have it on the table or I might die!!!" and "You can't serve green tea because it makes me feel queasy!!"
>The tea is going to be make-your-own with teabags and hot water, and there are going to be other food options besides the veggie platters so you don't have to be within 10ft of the celery
>mfw these are grown-ass women that think the rash they get from a vegetable means there shouldn't even be finger food available
>mfw I have no face because I'm on mobile

Also the event planner is a creepy-ass motherfucker. Lady, you're in your thirties. Calling us all "lovelies" and using "yummy" to describe literally everything on the menu is fucking weird as shit. We're not toddlers at daycare, you're not trying to force peas down our throats before naptime.

I'll admit I'm mostly just mad that we're apparently going to have lemon-flavored cake and lemon curd is some fucking nasty-ass shit.

[Anonymous No.8663743]

>>8663732
I mean... if someone's going to die I would take that seriously.

[Anonymous No.8663746]

>>8663732
>not liking lemon curd
>not enjoying a middle aged lady calling you lovely and being cute

Sorry anon, I was with you until the end. People bitching about food is my pet peeve, it's not like you're gonna starve. Just bring a meal bar if you're such a special snowflake (them, not you).

[Anonymous No.8663758]

>>8660707
Similar thing happened with me and my older sister

>she wants to be Poison Ivy for Halloween to impress this guy at work she really likes
>comes to me for advice
>I go crazy and find everything she needs online
>even offer to let her use my Amazon account for my Prime shipping on a few things
>literally three days before Halloween she tells me she's bought nothing
>"they sell everything at Walmart anyways right?"
>help her rush to find all new stuff so she looks presentable
>absolutely refuses to buy cheap wig she wants me to help her dye her hair red the night before
>it's 10 at night when I'm elbow deep in cheap box dye when she starts picking a fight over stupid stuff
>this bitch has chosen the worst possible time
>tell her to fuck off and finish her own dye job if she's going to treat me like crap after I went above and beyond to help her look cute
>leave her with her hair half colored screeching at me while I nope outta there and spend the night in my room watching spoopy stuff on tv

Her hair looked really bad and I refused to do her makeup unless she apologized so she ended up looking like crap. Even though she's three years older I swear I'm the big sister.

[Anonymous No.8663781]

>>8663658
I think they meant the other way around. To help the save-too-much people know that it's okay to spend certain portions of their income because that's the part of their income that's meant to be spent. I do the same thing. I save over 50% of what I earn, but I know that what's left is specifically for spending.

I still feel bad when I spend it, and I even dip into what's left and split that up even more to save up for larger purchases. It has helped me not feel so guilty when I go to cons or spoil myself.

[Anonymous No.8663803]

>>8660817
I live in the centre of Germany and go on weekend trips toParis relatively often. It takes a good few hours of driving but it's definitely possible and not too expensive.

[Anonymous No.8663813]

>>8663743

Not vent anon but if you need an epipen to shop for produce you probably shouldn't be eating from a semi-communal buffet table anyway. I have a super severe peanut allergy and I thought I would be fine at a meet because I brought my own food, but I still got a horrible rash on my hands because the girl that set the tables/laid out silverware used hand cream with some sort of peanut extract in it. It's one person asking all the attendees of what I'm sure is gonna be a big meet to conform to her dietary restrictions. imo it's kinda selfish.

[Anonymous No.8663868]

>>8663803
Well then I'm jealous. I can't drive so I guess that's why it always seems so impossible to me. But it's really hard to visit everything interesting in a single city in one weekend to me anyway. French here, I would like to visit Germany someday.

[Anonymous No.8663893]

>>8656177
>>8659149
I have lots saved up, money put towards retirement and suffer from the same problem, the idea of becoming poor is absolutely terrifying, I'm so grateful I no longer live in the us.

[Anonymous No.8663959]

>>8661211
Ideally that's how it should work, but when I "came out" to a few girls in my comm they were actually surprised because I wasn't a blithering moron and that's what they expected autistic people to be like. They actually said something along the lines of "wow, but you're nothing like [some annoying lolcow whose name I don't remember]!!"
I'm not as bothered by it as the other anon but it does get very annoying. As an insult, autism is the new retarded. People throw it around even in situations where it doesn't really apply at all, it's just the new go-to insult. It will probably blow over at some point when people find a new favorite insult but I personally hope this happens sooner rather than later.

[Anonymous No.8664048]

No feels thread so I'll post it here
Reading a few of these posts reminded me that I wasn't a weeaboo because I was 4chan cancer. If I recall most of that phase all I am left with is cringe.
>from bachelorette frog to Lolita memes

[Anonymous No.8664050]

>>8663732
>Mfw you get dressed up to eat cute food and drink tea
Jeez, why don't guys have a j-fashion picnic or something, that would be cool

[Anonymous No.8664432]

>>8655686
I'm a low-budget lolita with a friend like you. I don't mind it, really. She's not obnoxious, she stays within her larger budget and she's happy. I get to see and appreciate the dresses she gets and if I fall in love, I save up for second hand.

[Anonymous No.8664453]

>>8663700
There's only one tripfaggot who's calling it blackface, nobody else gives a fuck.

[Anonymous No.8664461]

>>8663959
This, people expect anyone with autism to be either a total asshole or have absolutely no social skills.

No matter what, there IS a stigma against the lighter forms of autism, from people flat out not believing you, saying "but omg I feel awkward too sometimes!!" or treating you differently the moment you tell them.

[Anonymous No.8664616]

I am realizing my only current friend is a jerk. Not directly Lolita related but venting anyway because I'm upset over it, sorry for whining.

I started to notice when I would try to talk to her about anything I was interested in that she wasn't, one of those things being Lolita, that she wouldn’t talk back. I guess it’s fair if she isn't interested but weird that she wouldn't just say so. She had another Lolita friend at one point and I considered that maybe this friend ruined it for her so I just quit talking about it. I always listened to her if she had something to talk about that I wasn’t interested in without even thinking about it, so the more I think about this the weirder it seems.

Now she doesn't talk to me much at all, even if it’s about something serious, and never replies to my emails. She complains and gets angry over everything, and seems to hate everyone aside for her small friend group. She’s shown some hostile feelings toward girly-girls and young children which is worrying. I don't like kids but I couldn’t dream of throwing a fit about having to be near them when I'm in public like she has done. I'm a really friendly and optimistic person and her overall attitude is making me uncomfortable.

I tried to talk to her about things and she said she's "bad with friends" and finds it too hard to keep up with them but I think it’s an excuse because in the past she would want to hang out so much that it overwhelmed me (I never told her that out of fear of upsetting her). I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm too girly for her now that I wear Lolita more often. We’ve been friends for a long time so this is upsetting to me.

I wish I had a friend with an interest in Lolita or in the things I like in general. It sucks not being able to talk about something you like to your friends. I daydream about having a Lolita friend a lot, or at least someone who appreciates the style.

[Anonymous No.8664634]

I'm probably in the minority here, but I think that while fully themed coords are really nice, not everything needs a theme. It's ok to mix flowers and music for example,(pic related) as long as it looks good. Your tights don't need to be the exactly like your dress print as long as they look nice.

[Anonymous No.8664643]

>>8664634
you are not in the minority.

[Anonymous No.8664655]

>>8664634
The themes have to work well together for mixing to work though. Music and florals are both classic staples so things work fine, but it's just jarring if you wear an architecture print dress with pastry socks. There was a coord someone made with Traumerei of the Bright Stars that used a lot of floral accessories, and while the coord itself was really nice the pairing of flowers with a winter print just seemed really weird.

[Anonymous No.8664684]

>>8664616
>"when I would try to talk to her about anything I was interested in that she wasn't...she wouldn’t talk back."
>"I always listened to her if she had something to talk about that I wasn’t interested in without even thinking about it, so the more I think about this the weirder it seems."
>"She complains and gets angry over everything, and seems to hate everyone aside for her small friend group."
>"her overall attitude is making me uncomfortable"

i know that feel I Know That Feel I KNOW THAT FEEL
THAT FEEL.
I KNOW IT.

God anon, aside from the Lolita aspects of it all I know precisely what you are going through.
Having from elementary to high school respectively had friends who only give you any kind of response when you talk about things they like, who outright discomfort you with how negative they are, and who you've been friends with for a long time before they suddenly become really shitty, I can't imagine what it must be like having all those people rolled into one.
It's the friend who won't speak to you about anything you like, despite you doing it for them, that resonates with me the most. It's such a subtly messed up way to treat people.

I don't believe I can go into it further without going on about my problems/trauma/shite, so I'll just say that: A person like that willl drain you, anon.

I don't know if you're in any situation where you can just break it off with them- and am mostly assuming you can't, because in my experience it's never that simple- but you at the very least have my sympathies.

[Anonymous No.8664708]

>Stop initiating contact first for a while
>nobody talks to me anymore

Granted I"m talking about online but holy shit I was hoping I finally got out of that place but I guess I'm right back in it again.
I've had similar situation before and with people going "I just have trouble talking first" but I hate feeling pressured into having to always start the conversation just because everyone else is too ~anxious~

I just want friends who actually care about me, who will ask me first how I'm doing. Who will actually come to talk to me when they want to share something.
But no. It's never that. It's always from my side and it makes me wonder if everyone has always hated me from the start.

[Anonymous No.8664711]

>>8664684
>It's such a subtly messed up way to treat people
>trauma
ugh just fuck off you whiny drama queen
if someone's a dick just say they're a dick, no wonder people avoid you if that's how you react

[Anonymous No.8664727]

>>8664708
Pretty much anon
But who needs friends when you have cats and brand

[Anonymous No.8664734]

>be me
>Plan a convention with a {kinda} new cosplay friend
>She seems really cool and we click really well, why not?
>"Anon, I'll get the hotel don't worry about it pay me back whenever"
>Con time rolls around
>day before con "anon, the hotel fucked up-" ect ect
>turns out she fucked up the booking
>Dont worry we can say with my friend who lives close to the con
>dont know them
>SureWhyNotIfItsOkay.jpeg
>plan to meet at area im not familiar with
>8+hour trip for me/30mins to an hour for her
>get there and ring "where you at"
>"i'll be 10mins"
>ends up waiting 6 hours/panicking the fuck out
>no money to go home or get a hotel
>have to pull strings with other cosplay friends to get in touch with her friend
>Gets to her friend's house shes been there for 5 hours already
>on her phone
>why didn't you answer the million calls/texts
>lol idk
>My fucking face when.

[Anonymous No.8664780]

>>8664734
Cont.

>whole weekend i'm left out and left at random places they took me
>also called fat by the biggest fattychan i've ever seen squeezed into spandex
>"Anon, you'renot a good cosplayer" in comparison it themselves
>smiles through it all and left as soon as i could
>"Thanks anon for the great weekend"
>never speak to any of them again.

[Anonymous No.8664811]

>>8664708
>tfw iktf

[Anonymous No.8664816]

>>8655686
Anon, we should be friends. I have the exact same problem.

[Anonymous No.8664818]

>>8664708
I know it sucks but they're not worth having as friends if they won't hold up their end. I had a few friends like this in grad school who were a fucking nightmare to schedule around and I eventually just gave up because it wasn't worth it. Hope you find some better friends, anon.

[Anonymous No.8664825]

>>8664818
I've tried anon, for so long. I just want to talk anime shit with people and the occasional political subject, or just a heartfelt conversation.

I know I'm not perfect, I tend to talk a lot, write an entire paragraph down and am incredibly insecure as to if people actually like me or not, constantly saying sorry.. it just would be nice if someone actually talked back. But it's the same thing every time "Oh I just don't talk a lot" even though they'll post screenshots of long funny conversations with others.

I feel so left out. I just want a close friend again. It makes me sad because a few years back everything seemed easier, conversations were more fun but the best friend I had back then went full SJW so I had to cut all contacts.

[Anonymous No.8664848]

[Anonymous No.8664855]

I've never had an easy time making friends, but lately I feel like something is just wrong with me. I never seem to "click" with people around me, and it gets really frustrating watching people enter social circles with ease when I've been struggling for a while. I have been trying to make lolita friends by going to my comm's events, but no one really seems interested in me enough to even ask cursory follow up questions in discussions and stuff.
I feel like I must comm off as really boring or exude some bitchy/anti-social pheromone or something, because no matter how hard I try to be nice and just fit in, I can barely ever make it past the acquaintance stage.
I know I am a bit shy, but I work hard to be rather outgoing at meet ups.

[Anonymous No.8664923]

>>8664848
>I don't appreciate photographers who ask for nudes, especially from those who are underage.

...is something you should never have to specify.

[Anonymous No.8664930]

>>8664825
I feel you anon, I have had very similar experiences.

>>8664708
This is basically my life. It feels like all my relationships have always been one sided. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just being unreasonable and wanting more out of a friendship than what's realistic or if I really am just a 3rd wheel.

[Anonymous No.8664943]

>>8664930
I hope we'll both find good friends anon.

What makes it worse is that I have aspergers so I just constantly worry I'm annoying everyone without realizing and that's why nobody wants to be friends.

[Anonymous No.8665975]

>goes to concert for a small group
>rules state that no lining up outside as it was against the rules and health/safety hazard laws and because noise levels for business.
>friends and I go wait until the time to line up comes in
>sees "friend" talks to her and asks her about her recent trips and her days
>we talk about said event and how it is unfair that the organizers didn't enforce the lining up rules even though it was everywhere
>Also we said how they should of gave the event more time to plan it at a venue instead since the demand was high
>said that its "hard to rent venues! (its not, I have friends who work or family's own some and you just gotta call and make sure everything is good to go and plan ahead)
>"I am a realz fan because even though I just came back from a travel, I am here lining up before the rules because I can cause I am a trouble maker"
>my group: "well okay. Have fun bye."
>not even 5 minutes later, she complains that "entitled children do not know how hard it is to organize events and they are wrong because I said so" on her fb
>keking hard because she always feels complains and feels entitled on how "Disney should stop giving promotions and families discount to come because it gets overcrowded and only if you can afford the luxury first hand should be able go" all the time
>don't care if I get hated by my mutual friend
>keking because I hold weekly/biweekly/monthly events for various types of ninche hobbies (no matter how small it is, I would cancel unless due to bad weather or situation in which people cannot attend) and I am "entitled because I never held events before"

[Anonymous No.8666028]

>>8664855
>I feel like I must comm off as really boring
Heh

Heheheh

[Anonymous No.8666056]

>The ATL Tolkien community is honestly the most stuck-up I have ever seen.
>So much petty drama.
>Not much better because venting on 4Chan.
>But gdi. If you don't hold certain 'popular' cosplayers hands they get bitchy and tell everyone about it.
>There was an entire ATL based movement to throw things at a Thranduil cosplayer and boo them.
>Seriously.
>And the people instigating it ranged from ages 20-35
>I don't even want to do Tolkien costumes anymore at this point.

[Anonymous No.8666074]

>>8666056
ATL confirmed for trash for both lolitas and cosplayers

jesus what is going on down there

[Anonymous No.8666417]

>>8655686
I feel you anon.

If it wasn't that one friend in my comm, I'd be left feeling like the only actively purchasing lolita in the state.

[Anonymous No.8666426]

>>8664825
Sounds like you need to work on your insecurity before you do anything else. It's a HUGE turn-off to making new friends. Self-fulfilling prophecies are a very real thing.

[Anonymous No.8666437]

>have tonnes of ideas for cosplays
>have no money to do them
>even if i had money, only one decent sized con in my country
>chronic anxiety makes travelling long distances near impossible

[Anonymous No.8666455]

Frustrations of renting with muggles as a lolita:

> Housemates remarking about you getting more parcels than anyone =/= you must have a spending addiction =/= you are a lesser human than they are
> Freaking the fuck out when you try on your latest arrival, because “Whoa, it's not NORMAL looking!!”
> Wigs. I swear muggles have an innate fear of wigs, leading to 20 questions, staring, poking fun to make themselves feel better. “What would possess someone to wear wigs unless your ill or for costume parties?”
> Muggle roomies also find casual cute or Otome hard to deal with. They presume you've never heard of high street or labels. If you're not sporting mainstream wear, you're strange and 100% unrelatable as a human being.