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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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9302018 No.9302018 [Reply] [Original]

Post here your lolita-related regrets, not only for buying/not buying stuff.

Probably my biggest regret in lolita is for not trying OTT-sweet when it was popular. Now I literally can't even imagine such circumstances of my life where all of that pastels and plush bags could look acceptable.

>> No.9302033

Not joining my local comm years ago. I held out because I was socially awkward and an ita and thought I wouldn't be able to make friends. Now I'm less socially awkward and /cgl/-certified not-ita, but I'm a newbie to my comm and they treat me as such. The girls my age who got into lolita around the same time as I did have all known each other for years while I'm an outsider. I always end up sitting at the newbie table, with the teenagers who want to listen to Melanie Martinez while complaining about how their parents won't buy them AP replicas.

>> No.9302034

I regret that it took me so long to get into it. Now that I finally have the money to afford brand and all that stuff people are starting to tell me that I'm 'too old' for this children stuff and that I should grow up and invest my money in whatever adult stuff. I just don't know what to do...

I'll just shut my ears and throw my money at Baby I guess...

>> No.9302037

I regret not accepting an offer to be a mod for my comm when I asked a year ago. The new mod that was asked has an ego and can be incompetent sometimes, especially since she only asks for/accepts help last minute due to her pride.

>> No.9302040

>>9302034
I tried explaining to my grandma how the lolita second hand market works and now she tells people I'm an importer of and investor in foreign luxury goods. It's not exactly true but it sure sounds better than being a "lolita" who wears "Baby" clothes so I don't correct her...

>> No.9302042

>>9302034
As long as you're responsible, it's your right to spend your money however you want. To the average normie, any girl over the age of five is too old to wear frills and bows so honestly who gives a shit? Do what makes you happy.

>> No.9302045

>>9302040
>importer of and investor in foreign goods
Bless her soul. Why are grandmothers always the cutest about lolita?

>> No.9302047

>>9302040
Yeah, it's mainly my parents who tell me this stupid stuff. Since I live with them I can't really make it off like you do...sadly, because that's a pretty cool idea. Should I mention that I'm barely twenty and doing two jobs to afford this stuff? (But still can't afford an own apartment, because decent, non molding ones go for around 600-800€ a month which is nearly double the amount I make with my jobs)

>> No.9302050

>>9302033
Wow I relate to this so much.
To make things sting even more the "experienced" lolitas are friends outside of the comm and hang out dressed up occasionally too.
But I'm not in their clique so big meets only for me now.

>> No.9302054

>>9302047
>I'm barely twenty
I'm 26 and have been into the fashion for years, you're definitely not too old.

>> No.9302059

I regret not getting into it sooner and investing time and money in cosplay instead! Granted, I was too poor and tasteless to really make it work years ago when I first saw Lolita dresses and wrote it off as too expensive for a highschooler without a job like me. But I could have at least had more years under my belt, could've experienced LJ in its prime, and could've used those years for embarassing coord choices, instead of doing it now in my 20s.

>> No.9302063

I regretted not getting Haenuli's Just One Bite. Then I saw some sissy wear it and didn't. Then I missed out on a second limited release of it and regretted that. Then Haenuli announced a new dress based on the skeleton boyfran. And so the rollercoaster if regret has come to a halt and I'm happy I won't be buying such similar prints. I hope there will be a packaged deal with the dress and artbook.

>> No.9302077

I regret taking a break from lolita when all the things on my wishlist came out. I swear most of the dresses I still have on my wishlist are specifically from 2011-2014 or something.

>> No.9302116

I regret not buying one of my holy grail dresses when I saw it on LM, but it was a cheap dress and I thought it would still be there for another two days. I was wrong and now I've never seen it in the color way. Now when I see a dress I want and just need some time I ask for a hold with a deposit, but I wish I had done that for Pleats A La Mode.

>> No.9302129

>>9302033
This except I still haven't joined. I realised I'll have been wearing lolita for about 9 years and I've been alone the whole time. My confidence is too low to join despite the comms near my university city being so inviting and friendly. I've moved back home for health reasons but have resolved to interact with the community this year via social media at the very least.

>manup.jpg

>> No.9302131

>>9302077
This so much.

That time was also like the golden years of my comm. They had the best events and it was when friendships/circles were formed. I feel like I'll always be an outsider now... We have a bunch of new members but the majority are v young so there's too much of an age gap to relate to them.

>> No.9302132

>>9302033
>teenagers who want to listen to Melanie Martinez while complaining about how their parents won't buy them AP replicas.

An actual future of sweet lolita

>> No.9302213

I sold almost my whole wardrobe trying to quit lolita a year ago now I wish I had all my stuff back...

>> No.9302263

I regret getting into the fashion so late. Lolita was always something I dreamed about wearing at my heaviest, and now at 24 I'm thin enough to fit into brand, but I feel like that's so old to just be getting into lolita. I don't know any IRL lolitas and I have a full time job so I don't even get to wear my dresses a whole lot. At least my closet is pretty to look at...

>> No.9302273

>>9302033
Shit I never joined and now I'm 28 will I be seen as the awkward aunt that never married?

>> No.9302274

I regret letting myself get so fat.

>> No.9302279

>>9302263
$200 plus shipping to find out if you were missing something is incredibly cheap to resolve regrets in the scope of your entire life.

If you have paypal metamorphose are still selling dress luckypacks with most of what an outfit needs.

>> No.9302301

>>9302263
24 is still fairly young, you're not old by normal lolita standards unless you're 30+.

>> No.9302306

I kind of regret getting involved in the lolita community irl. It's really disheartening when you do your best to be social and pleasant in person but people still get a bad impression of you. Especially when you don't get any real feedback besides "I don't like her just because." It always makes me wonder what I did wrong. Was it my coord? Was I acting too reserved? Did I say enough? Did I say too much? Though, that's not really bound to the lolita community in particular and probably happens within most groups.

I also regret not getting into it sooner, like a lot of people do. Not because I feel too old or anything, but because I would love to have a few more years of experience and know-how under my belt.

>> No.9302309

>>9302132
nah. melanie is just bringing back split colored wigs

>> No.9302318

>>9302063
If you refere to nunus friend, she isn't a sissy, she is a translady.

>> No.9302321

>>9302301
Misako Aoki is 34.

>> No.9302331

>>9302018
Don't just let your dreams be dreams op

>> No.9302342

>>9302273
Nope, mid to late 20s is more and more common.

>> No.9302343

>>9302321
I was about to say that too. Many of the older designers are in their thirties and still wear the fashion as well.

>> No.9302359

Not buying more innocent world arg

>> No.9302360

>>9302321
>>9302343
Of course you can be a lolita in your 30s, but there is def. some prejudice in the community against it and you will be much older than most of your comm. Whereas 24 is pretty average for girls in most of the comms I've been in and definitely nothing to worry about.

Plus, Misako looks really young for her age, the average 34-year-old westerner doesn't look like that.

>> No.9302361

>>9302263
There were plenty of us who first encountered lolita as far back as 2004 already in our early 20s and I swear the age stigma wasn't nearly as pronounced then as it is now.

I really don't understand how anyone could expect a 16 or 18 year old to have the sort of money getting into lolita actually requires - maybe less now since there are more options for affordable outfits, but goddamn back then you definitely had to be working or associated with someone with deep pockets.

>> No.9302369

>>9302361
Same. A Lolita that is 30+ is not old or inappropriate unless she doesn't dress and take care of her appearance the best way possible. A Lolita can have laugh lines and silver hair while wearing sweet if they do it fashionably. Fashion is eternal. Lolita was a rebellious fashion that defied age norms, so the stigma is really retarded.

>> No.9302373

>>9302360
I raise you ShelbyCloud.
Literally nobody cares in local comma how hold anyone is, if they dress ok.

>> No.9302378

>>9302361
Online shopping wasn't as big then as it is now. It's very simple, easy, and fast. I also think there is a lot more money flowing, like costs going up, kids with digital wallets and steam accounts. Even in Japan it's more rare for a 15 year old to get into the fashion than a western 12 year old.

>> No.9302387

>>9302360
No one cares how old you are unless your age is part of why you look like shit.

>> No.9302392

>>9302274
Same. I had a reason at the time for gaining but now there's no excuse for not losing the weight. I've lost about 4 years of wearing lolita at this point... by the time I lose enough the weight, I'll be 30.

>> No.9302393

I regret not selling my soul for Die Walkure when I had the chance.

>> No.9302398

>>9302392
Better get started I suppose, unless you want it to be until 35. We can be weight loss buddies.

>> No.9302400

>>9302398
I am! I bought myself a stationary bike my Christmas money to get through the winter months , since I need something super low impact

>> No.9302408

>>9302400
I should probably get one of those but I'm cheap. I'm afraid I'll get wrinkles when I lose weight but being a fatty is disgusting too.

>> No.9302413

>>9302408
I got one from a thrift store for $40, there are some new ones on Amazon for $80-100, obviously not meant to last for years and years but they're a start

I already know I'm going to have a fuck ton of loose skin from being super fat for so long, but oh well.

>> No.9302418

>>9302378
>Even in Japan it's more rare for a 15 year old to get into the fashion than a western 12 year old.
You reckon? There seemed to always be quite a few girls in the GLBs, Tokyofashion etc giving their age as 14/15/16, and a ton giving their age as 17. In contrast, I've only ever heard of a handful of western 12-year-olds actually getting into it.

It's probably true that Western teenagers have more independent spending money than Japanese teenagers and get into lolita at a slightly under age, but the 12-15 thing is a ridiculous exaggeration.

>> No.9302423

>>9302418
Japanese have a different society. There are a lot more families in the rural areas completely disconnected with the big city. If they're close enough they used to go to the trade and DIY meetups before those got shut down years ago. They also have school obligations that makes it really hard for them since they have a fraction of free time compared to Americans.

The common story for a Japanese girl is either they get into it after highschool or they treasure their issues of Kera as their connection with another world. Then they move to the big city and start their own brands or attend college. If they're young and regularly snapped in full brand then there's a good chance they're city kids.

>> No.9302441

My biggest regret is not kicking my mod's ass when we were back in high school. She needs a wakeup call and I'm too old, in the eyes of the law, to give it to her.

>> No.9302461

>>9302418
>>9302423
not too mention how many chicks in Japan are "foreber sebenteen"

>> No.9302554
File: 752 KB, 527x674, 1482971859147.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9302554

>>9302273
>the awkward aunt

>someone used this image to describe me

>> No.9302582

>>9302373
My comm consists mostly of 16-22 year olds and people definitely started looking at me strangely when they found out I'm 29 and about to get married. "What will you do when you're too old for lolita" is a common conversation topic, and apparently most of them agree 25+ is too old and you should transition back to normie clothes at that point. I'm seriously considering leaving my comm because this shit is depressing.

>> No.9302596

>>9302059
>could've experienced LJ in its prime
I look back at my past a lot now and wonder why the fuck I didn't investigate "getoffegl" more because I was totally on LJ in it's prime when I was in high school. I remember reading some of the drama posts from time to time, but I never actually looked up what they were discussing.

But on the other hand, my dad would not have let me wear the fashion anyway.

>> No.9302609

>>9302582
Ugh, if it's that common in your comm I'd leave too if I were you.
>25+ is too old and you should transition back to normie clothes at that point
That's a whole lot of bullshit and you don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

>> No.9302618

>>9302582
>transition back to normal clothes
It's like self aware comedy that breaks the 4th wall. They're saying "This is a fad for me, I'm doing my rebellious fad thing hope you all understand. What does someone actually wear this fashion unironically?"

You should have asked what they're going to do when it's time to stop wearing clothes all together.

>> No.9302626

>>9302318
You're a translady.

>> No.9302696

>>9302423
>they used to go to the trade and DIY meetups before those got shut down
Wtf? Why were they shut down?

>> No.9302698

>>9302393
can't sell your soul if you don't have one

>>9302306
have you asked them directly?

>> No.9302708

I regret not having a cosplay/lolita gf

>> No.9302716

>>9302369
Here here!

>> No.9302723

>>9302626
Not even close.

>> No.9302726

>>9302582
You care too much for other people!

>> No.9302730

>>9302033
It's hard, but you gotta make a bit of a push to interact with the others more. I was in a similar position to you - although it was more like I wore lolita for ~9 months at that point. I was lucky enough to hit it off with a few members and it was sort of like establishing a base and from there I got to know everyone better. Now I'm considered a "senior member" even though half the comm has been there longer than me.

Talk about lolita. I mean, don't force it too much so it doesn't sound like you're bragging about what you own or what you know, but it might help change their perception. Maybe ask one of the senior members if you can sit next to them after striking up a conversation. That will help you get away from the newbie table at least.

I totally understand the regret and outsider feeling, although it might have been even more difficult for you a few years ago. Imagine being stuck at the newbie table for so many more years. Yikes!

>> No.9302739

>>9302582
I got into Lolita 2 years ago. I'm 30 now and I regret not going into it sooner but now I can easily afford my burando. I do have to lie about my age in my comm because most of the members are aged19-24 but I love the fashion so much I don't know if I can really leave and become a lonelita.

>> No.9302754

>>9302739
Why do you have to lie though? Do they have an age requirement or something? That seems odd to me.

>> No.9302758

>>9302730
>I was lucky enough to hit it off with a few members
This makes a huge difference tough so if that doesn't happen the rest of your advice is pretty useless. I'm a different anon than the one you're replying to but I also have the same problem. I'm 25, I've been wearing gothic lolita for 5+ years and just recently joined my comm. I've asked someone the same age as me if I could sit with her and she told me she already promised to sit with her friends, and it goes like that every time. I would feel really annoying if I asked to sit with them every time, after being told no. They are not open to making new friends, only the newbies are and they are teenagers. Other than that there are a couple of girls in their early 20s who would sit with me but they are really gross.

>> No.9302815

>>9302033
>>9302050
>>9302758
I always feel like this could be about my friends and me as I was one of the founders of our comm and we are quite close after knowing each other for about 5 years.
We always try to be welcoming but I can understand that it might seem hard to become part of the "Inner Circle".

Honestly, I'd probably try to invite some of the girls you feel connected to over or ask them if they would like to hang out outside of a meet. But please bear in mind that sometimes it just simply doesn't work. Having the same taste in fashion is never a guarantee that you have other things in common. In that case I'd probably try to look for others that are worth to invest time.

>> No.9302851

>>9302758
Maybe try adding some of girls your age on social media? Have a wardrobe album/post or some coord photos so they can see you have experience. Interact with the comm online more. Then when you have built up a bit of a dialogue, PM someone you get on with and ask them if you can sit with them at the next meet?

>> No.9302853

>>9302726
Not that anon but it's very disheartening to spend every meetup being told you're too old and shouldn't even be there. Even if you have thick skin it hurts to be beat on again and again.

>> No.9302854

I regret getting into Lolita.
I think I only enjoyed it a handful of times I wore it. It feels more like a chore now a days. Less and less brands are releasing any prints that interest me. I don't like pastel vomit sweet and not really a fan of classic. I enjoyed the gothic and pirate themed dresses AatP used to release, even they fell down the sweet/classic hole by producing prints that the regular Baby line would release. I should have just went straight to EGA instead of dealing with lolita.

>> No.9302914

>>9302758
what kind of asshole says no when a new member politely asks to sit with them? she very well could have let you sit there with her friends like any normal socialized person would have.

>> No.9302920

>>9302698
it was all anon hate and hearsay so i have no way of knowing who it was/what i did in the first place

on second thought i shouldn't be taking it personally if they don't even bother giving specifics, but it's still a little bothersome

>> No.9302927

>>9302914
Not that anon but in my comm, many of the girls work out in advance who will be sitting together at a table so that none of their friends will end up the odd one out and be left to sit next to the annoying itas. There's one in particular that's really clingy and annoying so whenever she attends a meet, everyone else circles the wagons. I guess they'd rather be an asshole to new members than risk a friend of theirs having to sit at the ita table.
>tfw no friends yet so always have to sit at the ita table

>> No.9302935
File: 18 KB, 250x333, 1448237602489.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9302935

>>9302708
>cosplay/lolita
>implying they're interchangeable

>> No.9302936

>>9302754
Different anon but probably because people can be judgmental assholes about it. See >>9302582

>> No.9302947

>>9302914

Look at it from the other pov, though, what kind of person goes back and tells her supposed bffs, "hey, I just met this newbie and she isn't dressed like an ita so you're bumped from sitting next to me and have to sit with the itas, ok?"

On a different tangent, I've never found lolita meetups particularly conducive to making good friendships. Most of my lolita "clique" come from being into several different things together (BJDs, anime, music). The anon who suggested keeping in touch with the comm online might be on to something, if you keep in touch outside of meetups you have a better chance of finding some members with a share interest in something other than lolita, and then you can bond over that. After that it becomes easier to make arrangements to hang out outside of lolita meetups, and eventually come to meetups and sit together.

>> No.9302961

>>9302927
Why don't they just have a tea party with their group of friends if they don't want to meet new lolita's? Assuming it wasn't a special event

>>9302947
I think it's creepy to add people you don't know on facebook. Maybe it's just my comm but nobody in the fb group talks about other interests.

>> No.9302967

>>9302961
>Maybe it's just my comm but nobody in the fb group talks about other interests.
Not sure what comm you're in but mine is the same way. I wish they would allow it though, I feel like I could make more friends instead of hoping someone with similar interests shows up. There are a ton of flakes in my comm.

>> No.9302977

>>9302967
My comm seems obsessed with not cluttering the fb page and it's really boring. I posted something non-fashion and non-Japan related in the free for all post once and one of the mods told me not to post about unrelated things anymore 'cause no one was interested.

>> No.9302988

>>9302815
Where about is your comm?

>> No.9302993

>>9302961

You aren't complete strangers, though? You've met in person at a lolita meetup? Or is it my comm that's friendlier than usual? I've got half the regulars on my FB, and I'm not even particularly active on FB. It's not unusual for someone to say they're new and then add half the comm in a similar manner.

Different story if you're trying to figure out how not to add the itas, I suppose, but I don't see why someone would decline being added as friends if they don't particularly dislike you.

>> No.9303005

>>9302935
What I mean is cosplay or lolita.

Hmmm now that I think about it, I wonder how many people throughout my posts thought I meant cosplay AND lolita.

>> No.9303006

>>9302618
>"This is a fad for me, I'm doing my rebellious fad thing hope you all understand. What does someone actually wear this fashion unironically?"
Sometimes I think these are the types of people who post here to troll.

>> No.9303008

>>9302977
Ugh.
I'd probably get the same response. Which is mind boggling because at meets if you talk about the fashion, people act bored and will just change the subject.

>> No.9303009

>>9302758
>This makes a huge difference tough so if that doesn't happen the rest of your advice is pretty useless.
The advice is in lieu of getting lucky like I did anon. Try asking someone else, then. It doesn't have to be someone your age.

>>9302851 also has good advice, and >>9302815 too.
Hosting small meets is always nice to get to know people better. You can even frame it as such, it's fine. That is, assuming you don't have the kind of comm members that turn up their nose at casual or small meets. I've heard it was a problem with some girls from a friend a few cities over.

>> No.9303011

My biggest regret is having deleted thousands of old stock pictures that I had saved from the early 2000s during a short phase in which I had lost interest in lolita.

>> No.9303015

>>9303011
Ouch. I feel this.

>> No.9303020

>>9303011
It's kinda creepy, but sometimes I regret deleting photos of lolitas who has left the style/dropped their pages/etc so there's no chance to restore them. I've done that during the temporary break in style and now I'm pretty sorry because I'd like to see people's older outfits and old photos from meet up out of nostalgic feels.

>> No.9303039

>>9303006
I'm sure there are, as well as poeple who don't wear cosplay or jfash at all

>> No.9303427

>>9302033
i havent joined my comm yet and you just gave me a whole new reason to dread their company

>> No.9303435

>tfw gained ten pounds over the holidays
>tfw now on the chubby side of healthy for my height. unhealthy because the weight is more fat and no muscle
>tfw used to have anorexia and now people accuse me of being an idiot any time i try to watch what i eat
im so fucking tired of being told what to do. my quarter shirred ap is getting tight but apparently vegetables are bad for my mental fee fees so i should just eat twinkies instead

>> No.9303449

>>9303435
They're not even American but I know people that think being 25 or lower BMI is malnourished. It's really disturbing, just try to ignore people like that.

>> No.9303477

>>9303449
What the fuck, these people must be really obese to think that is a thing. My BMI is 24 and I have some muscle but I'm definitely chubby. I don't have rolls but let's face it I'm a bit fat. I'm just shocked someone would think it's even a skinny or thin weight when it's definitely in between being fat and being skinny. Oh god, thanks for work out motivation.

>> No.9303509

>>9303477
>recovering from anorexia
anon this paragraph is a shitshow of relapse talk, go to a therapist and work out a plan to lose weight. don't try on your own.

>> No.9303511

>>9303509
and on that note, lolita regrets: anorexia.

>> No.9303562

>>9303020
I feel you anon. It's the same with the stock pictures. A lot of stuff that wasn't even on lolibrary or hellolace and I'm pretty sure it's a part of lolita history gone forever and unable to be restored by now. But the part that hurts the most is the nostalgia that attached me to has also vanished the pictures.

>> No.9303615
File: 53 KB, 656x773, 1337385990429.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9303615

>>9302063
Update, might actually regret getting it because of that really short length on my tall ass. Maybe I should just buy the artbook.

>> No.9304231

>>9302582
Where do 16 year olds get the money for this shit?

>> No.9304237

>>9304231
When I was 16 I had rich friends who would buy me stuff on a whim, as well as a generous family and a small online gig.

I'm in the minority, but you asked.

>> No.9304245
File: 10 KB, 300x168, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9304245

>start lolita as an ana-chan
>buy a Surface Spell's judgement day in navy
>custom tailored, waist is SUPER small
>never actually wear it because young poorfag
>get older and healthier
>have money for lolita
>no longer able to wear skirt
I don't want to sell it because it was my first ever piece but I can't fit any more....

>> No.9304249

>>9304245
>what is more tailoring

not to be rude, but it's an easily remedied feel. i have to get a lot of my AP tailored smaller for my body type because it's too noticeably large nowadays. if you really like the skirt, just do it!

>> No.9304262
File: 483 KB, 497x732, 200%sad.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9304262

>>9304249
>i have to get a lot of my AP tailored smaller for my body type because it's too noticeably large nowadays.
tailoring down is easy, tailoring is not
when I say custom tailored, surface spell makes pieces according to your measurements
the skirt's velvet too, so It's not like I can find the same color AND fabric to add an extra panel...

>> No.9304263

>>9304262
*tailoring up is not
whoops

>> No.9304344

>>9303615
>Haenuli
>short
Unless you're almost 7 feet tall I reckon you'll be okay, anon.

>> No.9304351

>>9304249
Is it bad that I'm jealous of people who are too small for lolita? Even if you can't fit in the clothes anyway, at least you're most likely cute, unlike me. Fatties are never cute.

>> No.9304392
File: 17 KB, 400x369, I-know-that-feel-bro-blank.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9304392

>>9304351

>> No.9304395

I regret spending so much on it. Trying to get rid of all my old dresses that I paid way too much for and they barely sell for anything now.

>> No.9304396

>>9304351
maybe a little bad, but i understand. i'm not going to pretend that i get as much hate for being skinny as other gulls do for being heavier, but being called out for ill-fitting clothes sucks either way. having to get shit tailored all of the time is inconvenient and expensive, but that's the price of being a skelly i guess

anyhow, don't feel too bad. it's kind of a nuisance in both directions. stay cute, anon!

>> No.9304514

>>9304231
When I was 16 I had a part-time job and no bills to pay

>> No.9304565

>>9304231
What >>9304514 said. Younger girls often have part-time jobs but minimal bills and other expenses as they're living with their parents or their student loans cover their basic living costs. Lolita is kind of a nerdy hoby so a lot of these girls don't spend that money on things normal teens would like getting fast food with friends, going to the cinema, or going clubbing. Obviously some students are really poor and barely scrape by even working two jobs, but depending on where you live there are sometimes a lot more who are only working for fun money as scholarships/parents/loans cover the essentials.

>> No.9304576

>>9304245
I'm the same. I was really underweight when I got into lolita and I got a bunch of Taobao stuff tailored to my measurements that no longer fits. Managed to sell some of it but can't bear to sell my first piece even though there's no way to wear it.

>> No.9304648

>>9304351
>>9304392
>>9304396
You can never be too small for the entire fashion. Even with micro measurements ETC and Milk have items that can only look good on small girls. If you're plus sized on top of european tall girl genetics then it's complete exclusion except for ita coords or lose a ton of weight.

Meta has a section saying they don't make plus sized but they're looking into it. Who knows if they will pull thru one day.

>> No.9304649

>>9304648
Meta has a plus sized section, actually.

>> No.9304678

>>9302400
Swimming and skating are also low impact options!
Swimming makes your arms look great and skating will give you amazing calves and a booty lift.

>> No.9304761

>>9304649
Meta is a plus sized section, let's not kid ourselves here.

>> No.9304917

>>9304565
Oh i see. I was too lazy to get a job when I was younger. Now I'm 22 have a decent thing and no bills, but I spend way too much money on eating out, normie clothes, and alcohol. I guess I'll be too old to be a real lolita. Like today I spent $20 on a random NYE thing I'm going alone to that could have been spent on lolita I guess.

>> No.9304930

>>9304917
>I guess I'll be too old to be a real lolita
god, not this shit again.

>> No.9305055

>>9302018
biggest regret hands down is that i was seconds away from preordering The Bride of Death. card in hand and all. then at last second, i decided not to just in case a dress that i REALLY wanted would come up.

the good news is that the money i saved was put to good use as my then-dream dress popped up a couple days later. the bad news is that every fiber of my being regrets not buying Bride of Death, especially since it's closer to my style now than the dream dress I bought then. Oh well, yolo I guess.

>> No.9305093

I regret not getting Baby's Fragrant Rose Memories back when it first went up for reservation. I even remember looking at the listing and thinking "Nah I don't really want it".
Now it's a dream dress, but the price for the cut I want is pretty pricey every time it goes up.

>> No.9305108

>>9304917
When I was a teen I wasn't allowed to get a job. My mom said I need to focus on school and not be distracted by a job, and not have a job take up my time to do school work and study. But then I wasn't allowed to have one during summer break either, so idk. But I wouldn't have been able to dress in it either back then cause not able to get money.

>> No.9305111

>>9304917
22 isn't old. the oldest lolita in my comm is 40.

>> No.9305116

Same as a lot of lolitas in this thread:

>dress came out when I was first into lolita, parts of the set even went on sale
>won't say which because it's pretty specific, my comm know this story and hate /cgl/ so I don't want to out myself
>was wavering between buying it or getting several cheaper pieces
>decide to go for quantity since at the time I liked the brand and offbrand dresses I was considering equally
>that dress is now rare and has become really expensive and I'll probably never own it
>even if I didn't like it when I first bought it, I could have made a profit of hundreds of dollars by selling it on

Although, all these cautionary tales about "the one that got away" make it sound like brand you don't really like is always a better option than offbrand you like for a first dress, which isn't necessarily true. A few months after this happened I nearly paid full retail for a brand dress I no longer like that was unpopular and only sells for 50% of retail, whereas I made 90% of retail when I sold off all the Bodyline I bought around the same time and I still own most of the Taobao because I genuinely like the pieces.

>> No.9305162

>>9304649
Meta does have a plus sized section but they don't make plus sized clothes. They're regular dresses with a 24" waist but the material is "stretchy" so they say, hey, a fattie could wear that like a parachute. The cuts however aren't tailored for larger bodies.

>> No.9305640

Not buying bodyline RHS when they were in stock :(

>> No.9305643

>>9305108
Yeah my parents discouraged me from having a job too

>> No.9305644

>>9305108
I wish my parents had cared about me that much. At least I have some rare oldschool stuff now.

>> No.9305667
File: 6 KB, 225x224, yanners.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9305667

>>9305640

>> No.9305671

>>9304930
I hate this argument so much especially considering how awful and embarrassing young lolitas are. Getting into lolita when you're over 20 is a blessing. You're far more likely to have money, common sense, and people skills.

>> No.9305783

>>9305644
I don't think it's helpful to not let your kid get a job. I wasn't allowed to have one and had to work in fucking food service because that's all that would hire me even though I was in my early 20s. Not letting your kids have jobs holds them back.

>> No.9305791

>>9305783
My parents wouldn't let me get a job when I was a teen and I couldn't disagree with you more. They pushed me to really succeed when I was in highschool and I did; I graduated a year early, had a year to just find a job and save money, and then I worked through college and saw how much harder having a job while in school was.

Once college was over I had work experience (albeit shitty) and a degree, so I got a good job no issue since my degree was "useful". The only way you're holding your kid back by not letting them work is if they don't plan on pursuing higher education.

>> No.9305795

>>9305791
People I know who have jobs as teens don't have to waste money on education. They already have experience and depending on what you go to school for, it may not be relevant later on when you get out.
Congrats, you had enough money to snag a worthwhile degree. That's not an option for everyone.
>inb4 lecturing about grants and loans

>> No.9305835

>>9305795
The reason I wasn't allowed to have a job in high school was because my family was too poor to afford university, so either I HAD to focus on school when it was public and cheap to get scholarships or else getting a degree (at a public school STILL) wasn't even an option for me. The year I had off to work was entirely to fund my first year of college. I still stand by what I say 100%. People who waste their money on shit degrees only have themselves to blame.

>> No.9305901

>>9305783
What kind of jobs were you looking for while you were in college? I worked at an electronics store part time while in college and that gave me my job experience without needing to have had a job while in high school. Then I graduated college and moved on from customer service jobs.

>> No.9305973

>>9305901
I was talking about high school, not college. I was not allowed to have a job in high school.

>>9305835
I did well in school but because of the area and my restrictions, I did not get to go to a good college and had to settle for a tech school. I actually did get a grant and then my dad spent my money so I couldn't use that money to transfer to a better school.
Anyway - everyone has a different situation and I can see how not having a job in high school might let someone focus on school more, but that's only important in better areas where doing well in a school means you can get to an even better one later on.

So I think it's important for people in poor areas to have jobs early on as they can have experience and be a manager in their twenties instead of being entry level in their early thirties. I've seen so much of this. Like most people I know that had jobs in high school are upper management, meanwhile entry levelers are usually late in age, or have something else that holds them back.

>> No.9305995

Getting a job as a teen doesn't make you some kind of super experienced genius that companies fight over to hire. In a lot of places there are labor laws and other places have reduced pay for people under 18, or 21, or 23 and so on.

Most degrees are useful but in fact I see the biggest trend among college students is either doing helpdesk, working for the college, or starting their own business. Going to college is always better than doing child labor and then working right out of school.

These days I think the most profitable way a teen can earn money is an online business because you bypass all of the things holding you back. Like make an app or open an Etsy store.

>> No.9306095

>>9304231
When I was 16 I built up my wardrobe a lot cause I worked many hours a week at a walmart.

>> No.9306111

>>9305108
Same here. My parents were both forced to work in their own parents' businesses and had no time left for schoolwork, so I guess as a reaction to that I wasn't even allowed to have a job and had to spend all my time doing homework. I wasn't even given chores to do. In the end schoolwork didn't take up 100% of my time even if I tried so I spent the rest playing video games and discovering lolita, which I of course had no money for. That was a good thing though, since brand wasn't easily accessible back then and I would probably have spent any money I had on some eBay lacemonster.
Fortunately I'm now relatively successful in my field and managed to start a career with zero food service/retail slave experience since at this point nobody cares about that. Thanks parents, I guess?

>> No.9306313

>>9305671
Yeah but I'll probably be 30 by the time I have a decent wardrobe :(

>> No.9306318

>>9306313
>thinking it takes ten years to build a good wardrobe

Mate focus on getting a good job; it'll seriously take a year to build a good wardrobe, and then only another year to refine it and have a really great wardrobe.

>> No.9306324

>>9306313
So? I'm 35 and pretty much have my dream wardrobe. Started at 30. Unless you tan like crazy and don't wear sunscreen, and smoke like a chimney chances are people will generally not assume your age, especially while in lolita. Just take good care of your skin in the meantime and like >>9306318 said, focus on getting a good job.

>> No.9306329

>>9302301
I'm 31 and settled enough that I can buy most of the releases I want. Feels good.

>> No.9306340

>>9306318
>>9306324

Not everyone is capable of getting a good job. I've had a lot of health problems in college and my GPA sucks.

>> No.9306343

Not being able to decide what style I like and sticking to it.
I've been into Lolita since 2005 but I've been all over the place style wise and I keep buying things I end up re-selling (usually at a loss too due to customs fees) because they weren't quite what I wanted after-all.
That's seriously my biggest problem.
I started out in (old school) sweet & gothic, then switched to classic, then sweet again but more ott-ish cause old school swet was very simple compared to that, then gothic (mainly AatP), stuck with that and then also went back to old school styles.
But now that I'm turning 33 I want to have a more mature toned down closet that is 90% black(sold & prints) with less sweet pieces and more gothic pieces.
So now I'm stuck with a bunch of old school sweet stuff that I love the look of, but no longer want to wear.
But for some reason I can't quite bring myself to selling all those pieces off either.
Especially the velveteen Meta & Baby pieces that are unfortunately navy & ivory and not black.
And I really want to focus on black pieces now, with a few of red/bordeaux, navy and lavender pieces.

Also wigs. Why the fuck did I buy so many wigs I will never wear?
I look terrible and awkward in wigs, I have long Lolita appropriate hair that works with most of my wardrobe so I don't really need the wigs.
But shorter hair is so cute.

>> No.9306359

>>9306340
That's unfortunate, but the world around you isn't going to stop to accommodate that. Even if you have health problems and a shit GPA, you can still find a good job, it will just be more difficult and likely require more effort than someone in a different situation. In the meantime, getting into a luxury hobby that will generally require you to spend thousands if your aim is a full wardrobe isn't a good idea. There's no harm in waiting to get what you want, more people need to realize that. Focus on what is more important in life first; secure employment, finances, living situation, etc., THEN focus on spending your extra cash on frivolous special occasion clothing.

>> No.9306361

>>9306343
>velveteen Meta & Baby pieces that are unfortunately navy & ivory and not black.
Sell them to me anon. :^)

>> No.9306395

regrets
>not becoming a lonelita sooner
My local comm is welcoming and openminded, many of my friends are in it, and I will always have a special place in my heart for big meets and meeting newbies. But I didn't break away from the protective heard mentality or learn to wear lolita in a way that didn't make people look at me like a zoo animal until I became a lonelita. The time I spent with my normie crew and coworkers has helped me balance between wearing what actually works for me and the situation (proportion and fit, color scheme, getting the level of formality right for a casual or professional event), and wearing what I truly enjoy (dark frills I'm willing to make work with my day to day look, as opposed to the latest crown or pastel trend my comm might be enjoying).

>not being honest about body issues earlier
I'm fucking human. As long as you're not bringing it up randomly, with people you dont know well, being excessive, etc, it's not "bad" and you shouldn't feel bad. Friends and I finally started talking about this stuff. Some of us have skin allergies, some of us sweat, some of us need to tailor dresses to accomodate medical gear. I might have saved myself some trouble if I opened up to a friend and learned about the many styles and types of dress shields, it's a luxury fashion hobby after all, I want to protect my clothes.

>> No.9306416

>>9306361
Will have to think about it anon but thanks for the offer.
I don't want to end up regretting selling them.
If I decide to sell, they'll be uploaded on LM and post a link to my account in the sales thread.

>> No.9306475

>>9305783
I'm in my early 20s now and I also work in food service. Nobody cares about my work experience from when I was 13.

>> No.9306563

>>9303509
the person with the bmi of 24 isnt the same person as >>9303435
js

>> No.9306574

>>9306475
Different anon but I think it depends on what kind of job you're going for. I work in a medical research lab and any CV listing teenage work experience is considered irrelevant padding, laughed at and thrown out. However if you're going for a less specialised job where managerial experience is required then it might help to mention if you held any kind of manager position at any point, even if all you 'managed' was two other teenagers in some dinky ice cream stand.

sage for OT

>> No.9306586

>>9306340
I'm a college drop out, no degree to my name and I make enough to buy whatever brand I want within reason. I work in retail management and I'm a salaried store manager and I got there starting as a minimum wage part-time cashier.

>> No.9306804

>>9306359
I guess I'll never get a full wardrobe and be a real lolita. I was just saying that not everyone can expect to have a good job.

>> No.9306829

>>9306340

Colleges are usually accommodating of these issues. Start talking to your professors, your guidance counselors, and anyone else involved in the system to start making a plan to graduate with a decent GPA to your name. You're in college - make the most of it or try something else if that major isn't your thing.

>> No.9306837

>>9306586
I'm going down a similar path currently - 21, grocery retail, being promoted to department head soon ($17.35 an hour, Ohio for state reference), and I dropped out of college a year ago. I do want to ask though as you've gone down this road too, did you choose this path or just end up on it due to life and are satisfied? I don't know if I want to be a degree-less manager for my life, but at the same time I have a crippling fear of college debt. My GPA also wasn't too amazing, how do I even get back in...

For personal regrets, why the hell am I so stingy on blouses and accessories. I'll happily dump $320 on a dream dress but can't get myself to spend more than $80 on a good blouse (I'm picky) and I don't even want to think about all the accessories I miss out on. My wardrobe has really suffered, too many dresses, hardly anything to wear them with. Have other people struggled with this, how did you get over your own inner penny-pincher?

>> No.9307160

>>9306804
boohoohoo

>> No.9307228

>>9302988
We're from Germany so probably no help here.
Sorry

>> No.9307231

>>9306340
i had cancer and i got through college with a great gpa. honestly you have no excuses. you can't lean on your illness for everything. this is all you.

>> No.9307241

>>9306837
I have trouble buying blouses/accessories too because I'm cheap and picky. But I realized that you can be only be cheap or picky, otherwise your wardrobe grows at a snails pace. I've discovered I'm a lace fiend (particularly Venice lace or custom laces) so I buy blouses from brands known for their excellent lace because that makes the expense worth it to me. If you're a material/textural fan look for brands that use chiffons, peachskin, velour, or velvet, and remember that even cotton comes in an astonishing number of weights, sheens, and textures. Find something that the brands do that makes the expense worth it. These days I'm still cheap with blouses, but I've set my spending limit on them higher ($100 or so after all fees) which has helped me expand my blouse collection.

Accessories are harder because indie brands can make some incredible pieces that blow brand out of the water (voodoodolly is one off the top of my head). Just remember that if it's cheap it probably looks cheap, and quality accessories can really take an outfit to the next level.

>> No.9307257

>>9307231
What if you have hyperemesis

>> No.9307311

>>9307257
big deal, go to online college if you have to. there's always a way.

>> No.9307347

>>9306837
We're probably in the same comm. Yo.

I dropped out in 2008 when the economy tanked. I moved out to get out of a bad situation at home. I put in probably 100 apps but my company was the first to interview and I just stuck with them and got promoted fast because a lot of incompetent people get hired in as warm bodies and people move through the ranks quickly if youre hard working and dedicated. So thats a plus.

I'd love to go back and get at least a business degree. I was majoring in animation. But with my loan almost paid off, I'm not sure if I want to jump back into even more debt. Plus I have pretty awful adhd and mild to moderate dyscalculia to boot. Obviously I can manage it since they trust me with a store, I'm doing well and I handle money and crunch numbers daily. But I find real world application is different than academic expectations.

I might just roll with it for awhile and see where it goes.

>> No.9307350

>>9307311
that's nice that you think that but when I had hyperemesis I could hardly use facebook

>> No.9308780

I bought Lief's Sacred Night when it was initially released. fell in love with the print, but I bought the 'L' because I thought it would be super tiny asian sizes and it came in way too big for me. I ended up selling it to a bigger girl in my community, but now I see it in all these gorgeous Christmas coordinates and I'm like 'i should have just kept it and tried to trade for a smaller size...'
Not to mention, I sold it for about the same price I'd paid, and its market value has only accumulated with time...still kicking myself for that.
The other regret I have is selling a dress to a cross-dresser in our comm. everyone was trying to be real supportive of him at first, teach him the basics, give him good deals... until it became apparent that he viewed lolita as strictly a fetish. he only ever got one dress (the MM taobao replica i sold him, for ~$40 less than it had cost because he bitched about how 'pricy' lolita was), which he wore with the only fucking wig he ever bought (blue and party-city-quality) and only dressed up to go out to bars and try to play kawaii trap despite the fact that he was completely unconvincing as a girl. when i saw some of his photos on facebook, i was really disturbed. the dress didn't even fit--those seams were *screaming*.

>> No.9308881

I regret joining a comm before undergoing non-transgender-related hormone therapy. Finishing a stalled puberty would have been easier without a whole group of people having pictures of the before and after and potentially getting nosy.

>> No.9308966
File: 380 KB, 450x248, beckets regret chicken.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
9308966

I really regret not buying more dresses when I had more money to spend on my hobbies. At that time I was really into collection dolls and bought more than a few. Now I'm not so much into them anymore and most of the dolls I bought have lost their full value so I can't get what I paid for them.
Also two of my dream dresses are on sale now and I can only afford one, but still I'm hesitating to buy it because I'm planning a trip to Europe in march and I really should be saving money.

>> No.9308985

>>9308966
can you at least sell some of the dolls to have travel money by march? they may only depreciate more if you put off selling

>> No.9309002

I regret getting close to and becoming friends with people in my comm. I wish I could have stayed more quiet and distant. It's easier without hearing about their personal issues or having to deal with manipulative comm members.

>> No.9309005

>>9308966
>that post mh boom feel
I just donated a huge box of dolls that are worthless and we're taking up too much space a few months ago. feelsbad.jpeg--could have bought a few dresses with that money. but I never loved those ones and there's no hope of moving them on the resale market nowadays.

>> No.9311869

>>9308780
Lief Sacred Night jsk's pops up on LM quite often anon, you could buy it again.
Both the old and the newer re-release versions.
Warning about the re-release, the fabric is a different velveteen (I have a first release skirt to compare it too), it's more deeper black, sort of shiny like velour and the gold is much more vibrant and rich than the first release.
It's very pretty though, I must say I prefer how the newer release looks but I know others did not.
The old release's velvet fabric does look like it's better quality though.
Also, I have a 87cm bust (D cup) and the S/M size is really tight around my boobs, squashes them and the bodice is kinda IW style tube like (on me and my waist is 65cm).
Wished I'd gotten an L cause if I'd buy a binder or minimizer bra I will probably end up looking just as uniboob in it as I do now?