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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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9379032 No.9379032 [Reply] [Original] [rbt]

Last thread. >>9374038

Share feels. Good, bad, as long as they're cgl-related.

>> No.9379040
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>> No.9379043
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>> No.9379049
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I hope one day I can make even a single friend who's as into cosplay as I am.

>> No.9379053
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>voted the fifth hottest girl in my cos-crew
>there are only three girls in my cos-crew

>> No.9379066
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>> No.9379079
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I feel like with a lot of my female acquaintances in the lolita community, there's some kind of unbreakable tension. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like they think there's some kind of competition going on. They'll mention how I got more likes on a photo, the size of my wardrobe, basically all of my accomplishments in general, but not in a playful way--like, in a kind of begrudging way that totally kills the mood. I've managed to find some girl friends who aren't like this but being subjected to so much passive aggression gets totally exhausting. I just want friends, why do they have to make me feel guilty for things I should be proud of?

>> No.9379080
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>> No.9379081

They sound jealous, that's why they're making you feel bad about it.

>> No.9379084

I'm working on my shopping addiction and managed to not buy anything I didn't need for a month and ending up caving in today buying lolita shit. I'm really disappointed and I'm not sure what to do. I do the "do I need it? What is the worst case scenario if I don't buy this?" shit in my head. It worked until today and I let everyone down.

>> No.9379118

I have a shopping addiction too anon but I've honestly quit trying to solve it.

>> No.9379119
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> get back into a fandom after a couple of years out of it
> have the time and money to cosplay something from it always wanted to do
> can't focus on doing anything but writing only loosely connected original character based fanfic for instead of actually crafting a dream cosplay

>> No.9379142

Is pic/gif related?

>> No.9379151

Only the fandom, though one day I'll live ot up large as the Benman. I have the time and skill (compared to when I was in high school) now to craft a nice set of veteran legionary armor, but zero motivation to do so is my biggest issue right now.

>> No.9379190

>tfw finally organizing all my binge-purchased supplies and materials
feels good man

>> No.9379195
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>tfw no /cgl/ gf

>> No.9379198
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Tfw your only active cosplay friend keeps suggesting you cosplay characters that you just don't care for at all. Bonus sad points for when they suggest the only relevant black /brown character. Im trapped in a box.... It's yoruichi all over again.

>> No.9379199

I just wish I knew how to prevent it because it creates a big rift between potential friends. Though I guess they really aren't potential friends if they're already being total walnuts.

>> No.9379200

personally I think the problem was trying not to buy anything. just do it in moderation and keep a budget for yourself. allow yourself to buy once a month for a set budget (if your pay allows it ofcourse). if your pay doesn't allow a budget, set for yourself the rule that you have to sell 1 dress before buying another.

>> No.9379202

Yea, seems like they're being low key catty. Big part of why I don't participate in Lolita events. The atmosphere is just vaguely cutthroat and unwelcoming sometimes.

>> No.9379216

Tfw you found an alpacasso rip off at CVS

>> No.9379219
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>> No.9379251

You can also get low-quality kitty-ear headphones at Big Lots for $15.

The world is becoming more weeb-friendly every day.

>> No.9379320
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if you call them out directly they'll probably stop. the weakness of a passive aggressive asshole it being direct and making things out in the open

>> No.9379323

unfortunately with all addictions theres always a deep rooted psychological cause to it. in order to put an end to a bad behavior you have to be aware of why you have the need to partake in the activity in the first place.

>> No.9379330

lucky bastard

>> No.9379331

same tbqh
I just want a qt lolita gf who will twin with me ;__;

>> No.9379341
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I just picked up a box! I'm so excited.

Fair warning: I was going to just eat the middles (I'm on a diet), but they taste absolutely disgusting without the cookie to mask the taste.

>> No.9379342

Ugh T_T

>> No.9379345

Finally happy with my undertaker scar. Finally shaved my eyebrows for cosplay. Felt good.

>> No.9379354

I ate a full sleeve last night. So excited!

>> No.9379358

>cgl getting excited over pink shits

>> No.9379359
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>> No.9379363
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Exactly the attitude I'd expect, from somebody with non-cute intestines.

>> No.9379373
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There's a girl in my class who's a super super super watered down Japanese descendant and she replies with 'hai' instead of yes

she also gave everyone a plain ol kitkat as a Christmas gift and said merry Christmas to everyone in Japanese even the tutors

>> No.9379406

>mfw my little sister is driving 30 minutes just to see ME

I feel so special

I knew a girl like this. She was Japanesey-looking enough that nobody said anything.

>> No.9379413
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So, I've been going to therapy for my depression for three years now, and it's not doing anything. Everyone says it eventually gets better, but I just can't find any reason to live. I don't like posting things like this, because it sounds like I just want attention, but I just don't get it. How do I find a will in life, when everything is shit? All of my friends have abandoned me, I have a job that I hate, and I don't have any will to even get out of bed most days. I don't even cosplay anymore, because I want to do a character, and then I can't finish because I think to myself "people are going to laugh at how awful it is" or "someone will be better, and everyone will know it"

>> No.9379423

>did some research and found out the smoking hot cosplayer of my college is into Shillary
What do?

>> No.9379424
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Don't talk about politics. That's it.

it's that easy. My parents were married for 40 years, and one was a hard conservative and the other super liberal. They didn't let their difference of opinion be a deal breaker because they had better things in common

>> No.9379429

go see a psychiatrist for meds. i was like that too fampai and then it turns out i got a couple of mental disorders

>> No.9379431

Okay, if I ever talk to her I'll play it cool and if the subject ever comes up be tactful about it. Labels are nasty.

>> No.9379433

I have been trying a lot of stuff. My problem is that I was actually diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and I'm on the spectrum. These days I'm terrified to leave my house, if not for work. That's the only place I go. I'm not mooching off of wellfare, but I feel like a piece of shit, and it's a catch-22 where I feel like shit so I stay home, so I stay home because I feel like shit. All the meds I've tried have actually made it worse, when I'm on them.

I'm a mess.

>> No.9379434

Hate to be that guy, but have you tried meds? Depression is different for everyone, and so are the solutions for controlling it. Therapy might not work for you if it's already dragging on for 3 years.

I went through 5 years of depression, holding off all help, when my mum finally dragged me to a shrink. We had a couple of sessions when she decided we weren't getting anywhere and suggested I'd try antidepressants. I got lucky we found the right ones first try and within 3 minths I had signed up for university. It's still hard for me some days but at least I have the strength to get out of bed each morning.

>> No.9379437

Exactly. Don't label yourself. Don't tell her who you voted for. I find that listening and saying "I suppose I could see why you think that" could work. But don't be agreeing because you want to fuck her. If you don't find anything else in common, it's not meant to be, sorry.

>> No.9379438


Shit, ignore my post I guess

>> No.9379439

Thanks so much, you're not 'that guy', really. I just don't understand why people keep telling me it's going to get better, when that's never come. It's like I'm getting my hopes up, and then swiftly crushed when it doesn't. Any help is better than none.

>> No.9379440

True words. At the very least she does coding and gaming so she's likely not a women studies major (in which case everything is political).

>> No.9379443

Find common interests, and make it work. If it ever does come up, don't immediately go 'UGH SHILLARY' go with "well, why do you think that? What's your reasoning?" if she is intelligent, it opens a dialogue. be open to ideas, even if you do not agree with them. That makes you look like less of an ass, and maybe she'll appreciate it. Don't start fights, go with 'let's agree to disagree'

be an adult about it, is what I'm trying to say

>> No.9379449

Depression is just a hard concept to grasp if you've never experienced it. People just equate is to feeling down for a while, like after a break-up, which does get better with time.

I've been taking ssri's for 6 years now. Recently I wanted to see of I could quit because I want to get pregnant in the near future, and it can cause complications. Went off my meds slowly, had some bad days and headaches but kept going. Finally weaned off completely, super proud of myself. And within literally 10 days I was such a crying, depressed mess that my doctor ordered me to start taking them (good thing I lied about not being suicidal or she might have taken more drastic measures. I had gotten to the point where I would fantasise about where I would hang my rope from in each room I was in). Now I'm back on the wagon for about a month and going steady again.
But I'll probably never function without medication.

>> No.9379458

>be an adult about it

>> No.9379460

I have these nightmares that are so terrifying, I've had to call my best friend to come and sit with me becaue I'm terrified someone is coming after me/watching. He is a trooper, but he's obviously getting annoyed with doing it. I just feel like I am a burden on everyone around me. And when I tell people this, they say 'well it doesn't get better until you tell yourself it will!'

Oh how I wish it were that easy

>> No.9379480 [DELETED] 
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Is this because women are dumb?

>> No.9379488
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>ltr gf wants to cosplay as pic related with literally whole ass hanging out
>can't attend every single con she attends because work
>lolwhocares if I'm with her but her walking around like that without me makes me mega uncomfortable.

If I tell her about how it makes me feel, she might see me as an overprotective ninney. On the other hand if I don't reveal to her that I give a fuck, she walks around like a fucking whore.

What would you do were you in my shoes?

>> No.9379489

Let her do what she wants. Sounds like you have trust issues sempai

>> No.9379490

tell her how you feel, but frankly, referring to your girlfriend in any situation as a whore makes you sound like a douche.

>> No.9379492

>she walks around like a fucking whore.

I don't know anything about her but she's too fucking good for you asshole

>> No.9379493
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>Months ago preparing for Katsu with friends
>Already did Tracer back in the summer to repurpose an old orange suit i had lying around
>Katsu is nice, my Widowmaker is ok I guess
>Check Skype group this morning

Please Blizzard can you fuck off. Overwatch is ok, but now my friends literally can't seem to let it go. They hardly play other games anymore and i'm already sick of all the fucking meme costumes.

>> No.9379499

If my girl showed her ass to other men I would be fucking pissed I'm not flashing my dick to strange women

>> No.9379501


I know if I'm in her shoes I'd dump you.

>> No.9379506

>Equating your dick to some of her ass

You're an asshole. That's a false dichotomy. No one wants to see your dick. Seeing an ass like that is nice for most people. Trust her not to cheat on you, or leave.

>> No.9379509

I don't care if it's nice, the ass is a private part why show that to the public? Sorry man or woman you show your naked body you're a whore

>> No.9379516

It's her choice. She's doing it because it makes her happy. You, on the other hand, are either retarded, or a baiting faggot. And I think its the latter.

>> No.9379518

thanks anon that gave me a laugh

>> No.9379523

nice to see g and ic that high up. People there are legitimately helpful.

>> No.9379524

You aren't powerful enough for your slutty gf

>> No.9379525

It's her choice to be a whore? That's okay it's my choice to dump her ass if I'm a retard because I don't want to be with a slut who's cheating on me with every guy she shows her naked body to then I'm the biggest retard on Earth

>> No.9379542

Gave me a good laugh anon. Do you never look at porn? Or look at girls dressed like that? hell, should men not walk around shirtless?

>> No.9379543
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>been living with supportive normies for a couple of years now
>high school friends respected my choice to wear lolita but personally thought it looked disgusting
>college friends I share an apartment with think it's kind of weird and I spend too much money on it, but it's cute
>compliment me on my coords when they see them, help me take photos sometimes
>have a cute room with plenty of space for my stuff, only issue is crap lighting

>snowed under with uni work, part-time work, exam stress
>feel like I never get a break because I have to batch cook and clean in my spare time so I can't wear lolita
>never finished wardrobe post
>extra money means my wardrobe is huge compared to before but I haven't actually worn lolita in three months
>somehow feel genuine guilt over this, I've wasted thousands and it's sat in my closet doing nothing
>keep wanting to wear coords I've planned and post online but genuinely too busy so just browse /cgl/ occasionally instead
>other than lolita all of my hobbies are computer-related and the screen fatigue is making me stressed and tired even in my off time

>planned and bought items for a coord months ago but had no chance to wear it, was feeling smug because I'd mixed accessories from different brands but they matched perfectly
>this week another girl coincidentally wore the same dress with the same distinctive accessory
>now I look like I'm copying her if I wear it

>trying to just plod on until exams are over
>have to move out in a couple of months and might be very poor over the summer if I can't get another cheap place
>nice roomies are all going home for the summer so I'll be alone
>everything's so mixed I don't know what to feel

>> No.9379546

No, I don't. Porn should be illegal, Lust is a sin,
No we should not be in public topless.

>> No.9379550
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I love you anon keep giving me keks

>> No.9379552
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>> No.9379554

Don't know if you're just baiting, but if you're dating a cosplayer you're likely dating an attentionwhore in the first place.

It's like dating someone who takes anti depressants and then when she opens the bottle you tell her to stop, because you don't believe in medication.

>> No.9379560

I never bait
It's the truth, porn encourages society to destroy itself. Men and women aren't getting married and having wholesome relationships anymore. Look anywhere on 4chan, men fantasise about guys dressing like women with dicks, women want to commit sodomy! It's sick and twisted porn is destroying our society!
People are going insane with sexuality and thing it's normal to show your naked body, think it's normal to obsess with women's feet, think it's normal to stick things in your butt, here's the facts it's not normal to do any of these things.
A man shouldn't expose his chest in public either, it's no different from a woman's breasts, because it's flat it's okay? So a woman with a small bust can show her chest in public? NO! It's wrong man or woman you have to be dressed decently!

>> No.9379565

I'm not dating a cosplayer, i just like looking at the outfits on this board desu. But showing your naked body is wrong! It's 110% wrong
You are committing adultery by having your sexual parts exposed to everyone or fornication if you're single. When you expose your naked body you're trying to make people feel lust this is sick and twisted

>> No.9379569
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>> No.9379573

I don't bait, why don't you actually think up a response instead of posting meme images?

>> No.9379574

>Am currently asexual
>Porn physically disgusts me
>people getting close makes me want to vomit

Even I think you're either baiting or virtue signaling anon. Sexuality is perfectly healthy.

>> No.9379578

okay Ahmed, I get where you are coming from. If she ends up dressing like a whore then an honor killing is in order.

>> No.9379579

If this is real

...why are you here? This cambodian fingerpainting picture blog isn't for you

>> No.9379580

Tfw women are always dumb sluts

How do we stop cosplay grill from being whores

>> No.9379581
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>> No.9379585

What you're saying isn't exactly wrong, but it's a very foreign discussion on this board. I suggest you go back to /pol/ as if the IQ chart is of any merit trying to have a discussion here on morality is pointless.

>> No.9379588 [DELETED] 

I'm not asexual, I'm straight there's no such thing as asexuality.
Porn destroys society
I don't mind people getting close with me.
I'm not saying anything I DO I'm saying what the Bible says, sexuality with your wife or husband is perfectly healthy I agree.
I'm not a Muslim. Islam is the cult of Satan, Satan spread his word to Muhammed, even Muhammed admits in the Koran he was possessed by a demon but then is convinced by the demon he is actually an angel. Read the bible, it says if anyone even an angel brings you another gospel let him be damned. Muhammed obviously did not read this part of the scripture because he allowed this demon to spread sick filth to him and his people.
I don't bait

>> No.9379593 [DELETED] 

I just get called a Muslim on /pol/ and told to fuck off, besides everywhere is the right place to discuss the bible. The bible and God's word is universal, if I could go to mars and tell space aliens about the bible I would.

>> No.9379594

>no such thing as asexuality.

Okay anon well I didn't make it to 35 a virgin because I feel the urge to fling my vagina at men or women that come my way

>> No.9379596

Yeah you probably made it to be a 35 year old virgin because you're ugly both on the inside and out.

>> No.9379597

that's very good, I'm glad to hear that. I hope you find a good husband one day who will take care of you

>> No.9379599

If you remain a virgin until you're a 100 years old then so what? It just means you didn't find someone to marry yet, this is a good thing.

>> No.9379603

Shouldn't I be a god to you? I resisted temptation this long I'm more pure than the woman you are dating

Thanks. I really am just not into others and I work about 60-80 hours a week, so I don't have time. Most people don't understand my dedication, you know?

>> No.9379607

I understand, I work similar hours to you and it destroys your social life. I do hope that you will find someone you will want to spend your life with, there is no better feeling. God bless anon

>> No.9379608
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>> No.9379610

Maybe a break from being able to do it will get you back into it? As weird as that sounds, working a lot is what made me want to get back into cosplaying. Because I couldn't, meant that I wanted to, and I appreciate it more.

>> No.9379611

Can you stop with these? They aren't even funny

>> No.9379612

Where did Anon hurt you?

>> No.9379613 [DELETED] 

He was convinced by the degenerate media that being a virgin is a bad thing, the fact is virginity is a good thing! If you're single you SHOULD be a virgin.
The media is pushing for more and more forncitaion, it's impossible to watch TV now without seeing fornication anymore

>> No.9379650
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Been seeing my ex a lot at cons lately, and we've been really friendly. But seeing her regularly again is really upsetting.

Fuck, I think I still love her. Should I cosplay as something ugly to scare her off?

>> No.9379654

Alternative, fug her

>> No.9379658

... There must be something wrong with you if the board of deus vult and antimiscegenation won't accept you

>> No.9379662

She's moved on with a new guy, and I have a few grills I've been talking to. (I can't pick one because none are as perfect as my ex.)

>> No.9379685

Wow can't wait for this thread to be deleted becuase of all this bait. :^)

>> No.9379693


>> No.9379714
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I've wanted to do Butterfly group since Wizard Barristers came out in 2014 because the outfits are cute and there are so many cosplaying lawyers/paralegals/legal secretaries/etc., but I don't know anyone else who watched it, and I can't ask anyone to watch it because it was such absolute shit.

>> No.9379747
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>tfw lolibrary is always fucking down when you want to use it

It's like I'm cursed.

>> No.9379819

I want to wear cute j-fashion with frills and peter pan collars and cutesy motifs, but I feel like I'm just too ugly for it. I've got a closet full of cute clothes and sometimes I do have the courage to wear it out, but I always feel like I have to cover myself with a an ugly jacket. Planning outfits makes me so happy but whenever I wear them I feel like people are judging me and thinking "look at that girl, she's trying to be cute but she's so ugly, how can she think she can pull that off?"

>> No.9379829

Ugly body or ugly face?
Because one of those can be fixed with flattering cuts or dieting, and for the other one, there's makeup.

>> No.9379874

I'll try that. Thank you, anon. I hope it works.

I've read somewhere that compulsive buying is correlated with people that have OCD which I do have. I did have anxiety problems and depression in the past but have gotten better with medication. I do notice that I like the feeling I get when I buy something and then buying stuff snowballs from there.

>> No.9379922

unfortunately its trial and error with pills. i got diagnosed with bipolar disorder, PTSD, GAD, and BPD after several failed trials on so many antidepressants. i didnt get the right combo until i had attempted suicide. the hospitalization made it easier for the shrinks to fine tune a pill combo that actually helped. but maybe you'll be more fortunate than me anon. hang in there and keep trying. fixing mental illness shit is super hard but when you do its all worth it.

>> No.9379925

I know! Everytime I need to use it to see how old an item is or the measurements it's fucking down. Why is it like this?

>> No.9379926

Having IBS is not kawaii. I currently look cute as hell but I'm on the toilet constipated as hell. I'd sell my soul to have normal gastrointestinal flora

>> No.9379953
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>Order a bunch of shit
>Go and buy groceries
>Two in-store transactions aren't showing up in my account, but all my online purchases are
>Need to pay for an order but my account is still not showing the transactions

I mean, it's only been two days, and today was Sunday, but I need to know how much I have. I know how much I spent, but I'm paranoid.

>tfw they've shut off my card for suspicious purchases ten times by now

>> No.9379971
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>checking out the blogs that reblogged my coord pic
>one of them ends up being a hardcore thinspo blog
>see pic of my coordinate among tons of self-deprecating text posts and pictures of emaciated people

something about this just makes me feel really empty inside. like, i just want to make people happy and share the things i love and i still managed to hurt somebody/encourage damaging behavior. it's not their fault or anything, but wow i feel absolutely disgusting

>> No.9379979
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>get up, check lolita tags on mercari as usual
>listing for dream bag for only 3500 yen
>already sold out

I physically made a dog whine noise, ugh someday it will be mine.

>> No.9379996
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This is such a dumb thing to get salty over but

>Made an itabag I was really proud of
>shared it online cause of how happy it made me
>doesn't have a big follower count at all but that's okay
>few weeks later another itabag gets posted up online
>a majority of the component that made my itabag unique was copied to the last detail
>other person has a high follower count
>comments range from "that's so unique!" to "aesthetics!"
>Salty cause I know they ripped off my bag idea and is getting more compliments for something they didn't come up with themselves

>> No.9380011


this is genuinely fun

>> No.9380012

>turning 25 in a few months
>never dated because busy with work and school
>got a better job last August and relocated, now I have free time
>met a guy who can tolerate my clothing choices
>hes flirty as hell and I can't figure out what's normal flirting and what's too fast
>keep reciprocating because I don't know what's normal
>I'm doing my best to figure this all out but I'm dealing with a cultural barrier and my lack of experience
>this is just making me nervous

I want to try to make this work because I'm long overdue for a relationship and it's not often I can find a man that isn't off-put by j-fashion or downright creepy about it. I just get nervous trying to act like I know what I'm doing. No one really knows how inexperienced I am and they wouldn't believe me if I told the truth.

>> No.9380014

Women like you piss me off.
I'm sorry, but so many good relationships are ruined because you don't have the spine to be honest to your partner.
Fucking be honest, you don't need to be confident 24/7, show that you're fucking human.
Or live in a masquerade for the rest of your life.

>> No.9380020

>coming to a den of whores and expecting anything but all of them siding against you

The women of these threads all think stuff like having sugar daddies on the side without telling their boyfriends is perfectly fine, or "it's not cheating if it's not emotional". Don't expect them to not answer this way.

>> No.9380025

Do what feels natural to you anon! Figure out more about each other than playing to "standards of flirting". You will find that experience is really just that and it takes time. Don't get too pigeon holed on what you're saying or what to wear or do or being zeroed in on what the guy is doing either. Just slowly figure out his likes as he figures out yours, there's a lot more to relationships than just the romantic part. Focus on a good foundation of becoming close friends and romance can happen naturally!

Good luck!

Who hurt you anon, maybe go take a walk

>> No.9380027

I'd get over it.

>> No.9380043
File: 22 KB, 254x250, 1295207324323.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I never considered myself ugly, but lately I've been so insecure with how I look in cosplay I've just resorted to cosplaying characters with their faces obscured. Masked characters have been my best friends as of late.

It kinda sucks because it terribly limits who I can dress up as, but for some reason I'm just horribly scared to show off my face in cosplay. I don't make a super pretty girl, or a dashing boy, so I feel I'd be mediocre trying to cosplay as either and I don't want to deal with the potential shame I might feel looking at photos later on. I look like a hot mess with makeup on, no matter how skilled it's applied.

I feel completely fine outside of cosplay, my confidence isn't low when I'm in normal clothes. It just suddenly disappears in costume.

>> No.9380050 [DELETED] 

How about you answer me?
Why are most women incapable of being honest? Men are forced to play games over issues that could be solved with the partner being honest and open.
>b-but muh feefees
>b-but i dont wanna open up too soon
At least you have the opportunity, men are forced to keep their troubles in their head. Or sperg about them anonymously online. Anyway, no woman wants a fucking crybaby of a man. Could you at least try to make it easy for us to understand you by BEING HONEST.

>> No.9380053
File: 350 KB, 540x640, ebina.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I bought too much things after getting my salary. Even though I have a stable income I feel really guilty after buying expensive clothes. I pay all my bills on time and have enough money for living, but still feel like I'm growing an addiction. I was poor as a kid and couldn't even get necessary things, so every time I buy a nice dress I think of how much food I'd have gotten with all that money.

>> No.9380054

let me be honest right now: you sound like a crybaby autist

sorry you got dumped or cheated on, go back to r9k where you belong you freak

>> No.9380058
File: 44 KB, 229x231, 1463874413632.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I also have a problem with guilt after spending. Confront it now because it can go both ways, you either become addicted to buying clothes or you feel so much guilt purchasing anything it's depressing. Allow yourself to feel happy and satisfied when you buy nice things, and remind yourself that abstaining from buying anything nice is also a shitty way to live. Don't rely on the clothes for happiness though. I guess it's about finding a balance.

>> No.9380059

Stop assuming shit.
I'm in a relationship right now where I have to constantly make sure that my girl is doing alright, because she is uncapable of bringing stuff up by herself.
I just need to vent sometimes.
And the post just reminded me of that shit. It pisses me off.
Calling me a freak or a robot doesn't make my arguments invalid.
Nor does calling me a crybaby autist.

>> No.9380063

Sounds like you should break up or nut up.

>> No.9380065

She is a sweet girl, but sometimes it feels like she is somewhere on the autist spectrum.
Nothing wrong with that, just makes it difficult.
I just don't understand why it's so hard for people to fucking talk to each other nowadays.

>> No.9380069

Sssshhhh there there...now just let it go...

>> No.9380072

i'm like that and my SO doesn't use it as an excuse to be a massive dick. instead he works with me like a GOOD partner should. you should be more understanding instead of making sweeping generalizations about women. just because she doesn't comply with your standards of how open she should be doesn't mean she's doing anything wrong. you sound like a prick.

>> No.9380077

>tfw no cosplay/lolita gf

>> No.9380078

Great, keep assuming shit.
Why do you think I'm venting here?
I already said that I keep sure she's doing fine. I said she's a sweet girl.
Sometimes I need to take a break too.
Just leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I see posts like these, when the solution is just talking to your SO.
I'm sorry, but it shouldn't be only the man's responsibility to take care of YOUR feelings.
Some day you need to grow up and be a better person (in how you deal with anxiety, feelings etc.).
I had to learn it and I wish my partner will slowly too.
Go ahead and call me names, I don't care.
At least I want a relationship that is healthy and balanced.

>> No.9380083

>was gonna go to a meetup yesterday
>hadn't slept in 24 hours

>> No.9380088
File: 439 KB, 300x163, 1479407591761.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw forgot image

>> No.9380099

Well, apparently you feel like you can't open up either. How is your girl supposed to feel like she can share everything with you if your choice is to vent anonimously online and never tell her how you feel? Of course, I don't know her or how she feels but atleast it's hard for me to talk to guy that never seems to tell how he feels. How do you respond to her? Do you sincerely want her to get better or do you just say things like "smile" or "I know you can do it"? Afterall, bringing up problems isn't that simple especially if the other person comes accross as as aggressive as you.

>> No.9380109

I've just come back from a con where I saw so many girls dressed up as Prompto and Ignis and even some sorry excuse for Gladio, but not a single dude. There's finally something hot and macho for dudes to cosplay and instead they all dress up as touhou girls. Not that the selection is that good round here, although there's a buff dude contingency that really needs to pull its finger out. 0/10 girls stop being Prompto if you're wearing tons of eyeliner and are too scared to cut your wig

>> No.9380117
File: 242 KB, 467x629, 1412629625341.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It sounds like you have a problem with the girl you're in a relationship with, that doesn't mean all women are like her. Maybe you should try bringing it up to your girlfriend instead of taking your annoyance out on some anon on /cgl/.

>> No.9380118

I'm a *relatively* buff guy who crossdresses ironic shit because I don't want to look like some coswhore who's showing off

>> No.9380119

Crossdressing is a sin

>> No.9380135

>finally get the nerve to file official complaint against academic department after 2 years of multiple errors that have affected my education
>mountains of written evidence showing lack of communication and outright lies from department
>supervisor cites my 'fashion choices' as a sign I lack maturity and focus

I've never worn lolita to my labs or lectures, and have only worn toned down gothic in the department when I have had to come in unexpectedly. It's me against an academic body but I'm so sad something like this is being used against me.

>> No.9380144

Tell her to not walk around like a slut and/or break up brah

>> No.9380157

I'd tell her that the way the character is dressed makes me concerned, because the con scene is filled with thirsty betas just like me, and some of them are autistic and don't understand boundaries.

I'd tell her that I'd be much more supportive of her wearing a less revealing cosplay, and that I'd prefer if she wore the Nier cosplay only to cons that we go together to.

In case you do break up with your gf, what con is she going to, and what is her favorite movie/book/song/food/color?

>> No.9380158

>buy secondhand iw op cheap
>hooray bargain
>op arrives with grass(?) stains and small orange coloured stain
>attempt to remove stains with various stain remover products
>no luck
>decide to become an alchemist/chemist and mix white vinegar, dish soap, baking soda, etc
>you can tell I'm 100% qualified
>slavered this paste like consistency all over the stains
>pray for me

>> No.9380163

Trying to fight your university is almost impossible, they will cover themselves to the end of the earth before they admit they fucked up.

>professor sends me the wrong info about meeting in an email, later tells me that I shouldn't rely on just one source of info
>he was the only source

>> No.9380166

I'm guessing they were undisclosed stains. Good luck removing them! If it was a western seller, consider bringing that up with them, being dishonest about stains is pretty sketchy and honestly gross.

>> No.9380170

Damn, I am in the same situation. Also an IW OP, actually.
The stains were disclosed beforehand and they were the reason the dress was so cheap, but I'm still going to try a similar mixture to try and get them out.

>> No.9380189
File: 395 KB, 719x771, 1488810000442.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why even have a gf if you can't even trust her

And if you can't speak to her about it, then you're a pussy

>> No.9380192

You should be able to trust your girlfriend or boyfriend to not expose their naked body to strangers.

>> No.9380197
File: 281 KB, 1028x1920, twobee.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

2B shows no more nudity than a bikini does, and you don't consider swimwear to be 'naked', do you?

>> No.9380203
File: 117 KB, 484x640, IMG_7652.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That's too revealing, yes modern day bathing suits are just underwear it's gross no one should be in public like that. Skirts should cover the knees, cleavage shouldn't show.

>> No.9380205

you're pathetic

>> No.9380212

Ironic crossplaying is a sin when you're buff and there are girls around who want to be DPed

>> No.9380220 [DELETED] 
File: 31 KB, 549x604, 14690904_1404395302918828_8732070148217990450_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

What wouldn't be fun about purging the Holy Lands of disgusting Saracens?

>> No.9380223

Similar thing happened to me once
>send Prof project file in the exact format she wanted
>she had us all use a downloaded template she provided
>cue two weeks later, she messages me about my missing project
>I sent it, even provided her the screenshot and the copy of the email I sent myself
>one hour later, calls my personal cellphone to claim that I'm cheating by using this extra time to finish it
>I send her all of my files using different email platforms and addresses
>she still hasn't gotten any of it
>I just copy and paste all of the content into the body of the email, format be damned
>still nothing
>still accuses me of cheating
>I find various hosts online so that she can view/download it herself
>she doesn't trust me
>a few minutes later she finally checks her junk mail
>almost 100 emails from me finally found
>she doesn't find the original project file and I refer her to the copy pasted one
>it takes her a dozen tries before she realizes that she didn't scroll down in the window
>finally finds my enormous wall of text
>too tired to argue with her further
>get a message later that she bumped me up a few marks to apologize

>> No.9380226
File: 1.91 MB, 280x188, golly.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>At Japanese bookstore
>Flipping through latest GLB
>See an IW dress I want
>Call bf over, jokingly ask him if he'll get it for me
>Tell him the price (~$185)
>He says "Oh, that's not too bad"
He may not understand the point of wearing clothes that aren't functional or meant for garnering the attention of the opposite sex, but boy am I glad he doesn't complain about the price tag.

>> No.9380251
File: 1.87 MB, 500x305, no headpats.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw I've never had a gf
>tfw I probably will never
>tfw I'll never know what love is like

>> No.9380261

That sucks anon.

Being poor in your youth fucks you up. Why don't you set aside a separate shopping and saving budget? Then even if you're spending, you can feel like you don't just pay your bills and live, you've got savings as well.

That sounds real shitty.

>> No.9380268

teachers/profs can be technology idiots from hell. I have a teacher that still uses IE, doesn't know how to read PDFs and slams on the keyboard like a madman while she's typing

>> No.9380273

Jelly. My bf thinks my clothes are cute but doesn't understand why I would ever pay more than €50 for anything. And then he turns around and offers me a €5000 budget for a wedding dress, which I was actually planning to cheap out on because I'll only wear it once and our wedding will be small and private anyway. I'd pocket it to spend on burando but lying isn't a great way to start a marriage...

>> No.9380276

>>Tell him the price (~$185)
>>He says "Oh, that's not too bad"
To be honest I'd kinda agree, but that's coming from someone who only has themselves to spend their money on.

>> No.9380278

my and my gf cosplayed together for nearly 3 years. now we are broken up I don't know if I want to continue cosplaying, it was such a big part of our relationship and going to cons without her is so weird. im not sure if it would be better for me to just give it up and focus on dressmaking as opposed to costuming. it sucks man.

>> No.9380279

Life is horrible but dying is even worse. Just chill, find something fun to do. Almost all humans die so no need to rush it unless some evil dude chase you and you would prefer an honourable suicide instead of a shameful death in their hands.

>> No.9380280 [DELETED] 
File: 786 KB, 1300x753, Constantinople.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>muh crusaders
kys yourself

>> No.9380286 [DELETED] 

Islam is a cult started by Satan, Muhammed even admitted he was possessed by a demon, he brushes it off and says it was an angel but his gut instinct was right. We have to save the Middle East and turkey from this satanic cult

>> No.9380290

>>There is no will to live
>>you live out your pathetic existence each and every day and while not completely hating it you will have no desire to continue living
>> you will suck the fun and life out of every day thinking the way you do. That's why you have no fucking friends they hate the way you are as much as you hate yourself
>>therapy can't and won't help you as you've already made up your mind
>>tldr there isn't some fucking magic rainbow with 5 easy ways to make life not shit. Take pills //quit your shit job and do enjoyable things(make your shit cosplays) (stop letting others opinions hold a higher value over your own)
Start bringing the happy to yourself because people can't and I promise you one fucking thing they will almost always inevitably let you down so hold yourself up.
You aren't the only fucking person suffering from depression you won't be the last. Someone is always better or worse off then you at anything. Life is momentary happiness with much suffering.

>> No.9380305
File: 140 KB, 379x440, worry.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm scared of life.
I'm 20, high school dropout (due to extreme bullying and the suicidal tendencies/depression that ensued.) 3 years ago i went to a "free" school,got better, started taking online courses,got 2 diplomas and will get a third if i pass my exam in june,...blablabla. and i'm no longer suicidal or depressed. But life still scares me. I don't feel "ready" to be an adult. I act maturely, I'm not a "little" or "age regresser" but I just realized that the adult world is sp00ky now that I have to choose between either school or find a job (i have no job experience and I need stupidly huge amount of sleep. Sometimes even after sleeping 10 hours i'm still tired) by september or else my parents will be left pennyless to help me. I can't be a leech and don't want to be so I'll have to choose and I know it. But the adult world is just so fucking scary and I'm so nervous by nature I think I might get fired,break down,... and it'll be hell all over again

>> No.9380306

>almost all humans die

>> No.9380307 [DELETED] 
File: 43 KB, 591x456, 1462669399967.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Don't forget we need to save their livestock/sex slaves too.

>> No.9380309 [DELETED] 

The bible says laying with a beast is punishable by death, put the person and beast to death. Islam doesn't have this law they don't care, more proof they're from Satan

>> No.9380368

What kind of diplomas are they?

>> No.9380379

Yeah, i've tried twice to fight my uni and both times were unsuccessful.
>Need a certain GPA across specific classes to qualify for special course
>Meet the requirement when my final grades come in on Blackboard
>Record is released, grade in one class is a C instead of the B+ listed before
>Go in and ask professor why the final grades are different, she tells me to provide proof. Can't provide proof because Blackboard clears course access between semesters
>Ask to be re-given permission from Professor. She says she can't do that and that i need to talk to tech support
>Tech support tells me i was right, and only my instructor can reinstate access
>Go back to professor, she tells me she can't and ONCE AGAIN to ask for someone else at tech support
>Tech support tells me not to come back because my professor is literally the one in charge of this and they can't do anything
>Send professor one last email
>"Anon someone at tech support should be versed in this issue"
>Consider getting the dean of students involved, but i'm fucking furious and have lost all drive.
>Decide to give-up

>> No.9380382

Where the hell did this idea come from that all cosplayers are doing it for attention? I cosplay because I enjoy making costumes and meeting other people who are into the same thing I am. It actually makes me uncomfortable when too many people start asking for pictures. I realize the person you're replying to is a troll, but cut that "lelel attention whore cosplayer" shit out.

>> No.9380390
File: 242 KB, 1280x1219, 1483934153376.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Feeling really weird feelings right now that are making me angry at myself for having them in the first place.

>fall semester
>join cosplay club at local college
>make some friends
>sort of develop a crush on one of the guys
>Yikes, anon, don't do that! You're going to make everything weird!
>start to hold back, don't openly flirt, etc.
>meet another person who is part of the friend group established, but I haven't seen/talked to them before (or don't remember)
>friends and I all get closer
>spring semester
>we're all hanging out regularly
>friend I first had crush on we'll call P, friend I met later we'll call N
>P regularly messages me while I'm at a con asking me if I'm having a good time, complimenting my cosplays, etc
>"Don't read too much into it anon"
>N right out asks me out
>"Again, don't read too much into it"
>N and I hang out, it's a date, he kisses me
>N immediately tells the friend group
>My one friend, we'll call him O, apparently saw it coming and thought we had so much chemistry
>Don't get me wrong, I do like N and we've since been dating and it's been really awesome, but it wasn't like I had a huge crush on him to begin with
>P and another person in our friend group is apparently a thing happening
>O has been trying to hook them up for months
>I'm in a relationship now, with someone who makes me really happy, but at the same time the thought of P being in a relationship and not knowing if they had feelings for me makes me feel really shitty
>Would never sabotage a relationship, my own or anyone else

tl;dr Get crush on person in my friend group, start dating someone else in the group, now the person I initially had a crush on is dating someone else, I have mixed feelings that make me guilty because I'm in a relationship.

>> No.9380391

Talk to her and spin it as if you're concerned for her safety. Say something along the lines of "There are a lot of creepy guys at cons, so it'd be best if you only wore that to conventions we go to together so nobody tries anything bad." This isn't even really a lie, since it's probably one of your concerns.

>> No.9380392
File: 98 KB, 709x765, 608.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

> tfw I just bought a dress with "storage odor" from WW

>> No.9380395 [DELETED] 

The simple truth is that women just don't care. They do things because they know they can get away with it.

They don't love men and never will, they see them as a source of free money and entertainment. If you don't buy them everything they want and play along with every unfair irrational game they force you into, they just move on. They dump you outright if they're feeling generous, and cheat behind your back the rest of the time.

>> No.9380400

I'm scared for the real life too, anon, and I'm 24 already. I guess you didn't have any internships? because those help you ease in a bit into how jobs work. the easiest way to get something is probably asking around, maybe some neighbours or friends know something that will suit you.

also for sleep, I've recently read that the best way to sleep is to do 8 hours in two parts (like from 22.00 to 2.00 and then 3.00 to 7.00). go to bed when it's dark and wake up when it's light. if this doesn't work and you have also other symphoms (like cold feet and hands, thinner getting hair, heavy flow if you're a female), you migh have a low iron level in your blood and you should go to a doctor.

>> No.9380405
File: 52 KB, 444x287, 1474836420600.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Why is the feels thread full of robots?

>> No.9380416

Nooooo, anons, don't give up! I just finished my undergrad and I had to battle stupid shit like this all the way. Sometimes I would give up on battling grades or absences or whatever, but then the problem is that they stack up and cumulatively make you look like a worse student than you actually are. It happened to me and now I regret not battling every damn thing I could have, because I ended up just a couple hundreths of a GPA point away from a higher honors rank. If there's anything else that can be done, anyone else that can be emailed, do it! It's worth it! You're worth it! (If I wasn't on a brand new laptop there'd be a cheering gif attached to this but I'm a tool who has yet to add all their reactions to new comp)

>> No.9380425

Try Pharmacogenetics. I work for a company that does it, basically it's a genetic test that provides information on how/why certain drugs and medications work in your body. It works really good with antidepressants and other similar drugs. The current shotgun method is really bad, they'll cycle you through meds that may work for you, but the dosage is to high, causing side effects. It's just a suggestion of course, but this kind of test can help you narrow down the list of drugs, if not even find one that is perfect right off the bat.

>> No.9380429

I mean i eventually retook the course in question over the summer and got into the class, thankfully i had a new professor teaching it who was actually competent

>> No.9380434

I have had so many teachers tell us to get any version of a book for the class, a pdf, physical copy, loose leaf etc just to have them turn around in the middle of the class and say I bought the wrong version.

I swear to god they're absolutely stupid and I've had to get refunds and swap books around 3 weeks after I bought it because they didn't realize that, gee, a used loose leaf copy of the book does't work when I suddenly need a download code for files.

>> No.9380470
File: 70 KB, 426x640, 1481649880813.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Yeah now I know you're baiting

>> No.9380473

How am I baiting? Tell me what I said implys I'm baiting? The bible says your underwear should reach your knees, bathing suits don't reach the knees it's WORSE than underwear

>> No.9380474


>> No.9380478

>have a string of terrible relationships
>meanwhile both best friends suddenly in amazing happy long-term relationships
>resigning self to be forever alone
>fuck this feels bad I just want someone to love me
>please God send me boyfriend material
>reconnect with a guy I vaguely knew from undergrad out of the blue
>turns out we have a lot in common
>very much my type physically
>fun to talk to
>says he's cosplayed before and wants to try it again this year but he doesn't know what character
>haven't cosplayed myself for several years because I really don't have time/funds but yeahtotallymetooletsgotogether
>suggest he does teitoku because he likes kancolle
>haha good suggestion anon pity there aren't many shipgirl cosplayers here
>WELL AKCHEWALLY one of my abandoned plans was to do kaga with a friend as akagi~~
>oh? Sister ship groups are so cute anon
>sudden realisation that friend is a hundred times cuter, skinnier, and better at cosplay than me
>never mind that she has a boyfriend
>they can NEVER MEET (at least, not until I've actually snagged him)
>ahaha no well she's probably really busy with plans already, she does a lot of idol cosplay ahaha
>would she compromise and do naka-chan, do you think
>haha that's actually cute but
>nononono this is going in a very bad direction
>but haha, ~hypothetically~, if you wanted to see any ship cosplayed, who would it be?
>graf zeppelin
>fuck me I don't have the time or the skill for this BUT HE HAS SUCH GOOD TASTE
>let's do this

I think I am reaching levels of desperation that shouldn't even be possible

>> No.9380479

Yes, it's Gods word it's fact it's straight from the creator.

>> No.9380493

>Lone Lolita who's trying to find a comm.
>find main comm for area through facebook after trying what might be satellite comms that aren't very active/close.
>Ask to join main comm.
>Media silence

Why not schedule some down time? Take one day a month when there's a meet up and go. If you find out you accidentally twinned with someone take pictures and remark on their obviously superior taste

Are you not using PayPal? My banks never shut down my card... though it could be how much you're spending. Sometimes they have weekly limits it the fine print.

>> No.9380494
File: 77 KB, 249x699, 1487320095837.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>have been wanting to get into lolita since I was 16
>actually a fatty-chan
>even at my lowest weight my man shoulders and wide hips make dresses impossible
>I also know me and my social anxiety would make sure I never wear dresses out in public
>pic related, except I'll never look like her

>> No.9380495

>bf talks about feeling sad that he didn't get to lewd with a girl he hooked up with who was a lolita WHILE she was wearing lolita

This is the only redflag comment he's practically ever made, but wtf such a creepy thing to say ewwww

>> No.9380496
File: 1.34 MB, 468x263, 07.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9380498

God gave his word to man to record
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
It was thanks to the inspiration of God that great men were able to make the KJV the greatest book ever written in the history of man

>> No.9380527

Who fucking cares

>> No.9380538 [DELETED] 


I know this is probably bait, but you will literally never have a girlfriend who completely trusts you and is willing to stay with you if you refer to her as a "whore" is a non joking matter (especially considering the cosplay in question isn't even that bad.) I don't like my boyfriend attending parties by himself because I know how the females in the area get, but he rarely goes out and if he needs some time to be a rowdy man with his friends I understand. A little bit of jealousy is understandable and sometimes even healthy and flattering but calling your girlfriend a whore has all sorts of red flags plastered to it.

>> No.9380542

I would be so passive aggressive and comment "wow this is so cute, it's almost exactly like the one a month ago!"

>> No.9380555 [DELETED] 

Don't give up! Take her email address to tech support and make them send her a short concise email explaining it's something she has to access. Also take it to the dean! Be very respectful, be sure to include that you have no personal ill feelings towards the teacher even if you do. Just let them know you were incredibly excited about the next step in your courses that required the B, which you originally had, and that you would have fixed this long before it was an issue had you though your grade was a C. Maybe ask if there's anyway to go back an access blackboard grades from other ends to prove you had a higher grade. Just be very respectful, and stern but friendly enough to where you don't come off as the "I want to speak to your manager types." It might help you if you write up and print off a few documents proving your back and forth with your teacher and tech just to prove you mean business. Don't let yourself be beat down by lazy teachers, you deserve that grade and the doors it opens later!

>> No.9380558

"the one I made" sorry mobile lol.

>> No.9380572

Seconding this. Just be like "omg! Twinsies!" and link your own bag.

>> No.9380588

also make sure you include the date of when you first posted yours online somehow so no one can accuse you of copying them

>> No.9380598

Did you message a mod as well?

>> No.9380600
File: 651 KB, 500x500, smile.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Hips don't matter at all in lolita and shoulders only matter with OPs, blouses are very easy to get custom. Don't let your dreams be dreams, anon. You can do it!

>> No.9380602

just suck his bengis

>> No.9380605

Is that expensive? I am barely making ends meet at this point

>> No.9380611

But is it possible the book has been edited? I mean, the dead sea scripts are WAY different then the bible today

it's almost as though people changed it to suit their narratives or some shit

>> No.9380651
File: 229 KB, 634x355, at3.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Order first ever pair of brand OTKs
>Fit over my sasquatch feet
>Long enough to actually go over my knees
>Stretchy enough to fit over my yuge calves
God bless Meta.

>Got approved for new credit card with a limit $1.3k higher than my last

Today was a good day.

>> No.9380728

> men are forced to keep their troubles in their head
> no woman wants a fucking crybaby of a man

>implying being a bottled up, unpredictable and emotionally stunted piece of shit is attractive to anyone, ever.

>> No.9380755

You can do eeet anon! Remember to make a rice offering to the god of cosplay!

>> No.9380777

Gurl, at least give out green tea kitkats or somethin, those are too good to not share.

>> No.9380781

Stop cheating on and dumping men when they have problems or show feelings because "ughhh what a baby I don't want to deal with his problems he exists to serve and help me never the other way around"

>> No.9380782
File: 30 KB, 465x640, shoes.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

My tax refund arrived sooner than expected and I'm finally done with school loans! I can allot more of my budget for burando (and more important things, I know). But now I'm really looking forward to new releases.

>> No.9380785

Your first problem is calling your gf a whore. You would be gone in a second if you saw no problem in that after I remanded you for it.

>> No.9380787

Depends on the test, where you are, ext, for instance ours is $300 US, some are cheaper, someore expensive. I know some insurance will cover it, but I don't know about the government.

>> No.9380788

How do you know she is going to cheat on you though??? It sounds like you have an attractive gf and you can't handle that other guys are gonna be looking at her too. It doesn't make her a whore of she gets attention, it makes her sexy, which isn't a crime. Like previous anon said, either trust her or gtfo of the relationship. Your mentality is not attractive so either work on your jealousy or let her be free to find a guy who isn't going to treat her like a caged bird.

>> No.9380819
File: 30 KB, 500x500, 1488582367205.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Not that anon, but there's kind of a different visual appeal in terms of the emphasis that an outfit like the one she wears places on her ass but deliberately having everything but her hips, thighs, and cleavage completely covered up.

I know it really feels like "she isn't showing anything more than a bikini" which is true, but at the same time there's a different visual stimulation going on here. It's like how I'm sure you wouldn't want someone peeking up your skirt even though they'd essentially just see a bikini bottom covered mostly in shadow under there, in most cases.

That being said, Anon really just needs to man up and tell her that he's uncomfortable with the cosplay. You certainly don't own your partner, and you can fully trust that they won't sleep around even if they're wearing something revealing, but relationships are all about give and take. If there's something that you're not fine with, speak up, even if you find it to be silly. If your partner cares about you, they will most likely at least try to empathize with you even if they don't agree. From that point it just becomes a question of how good you two are at communication and compromise.

If my partner didn't want me to do something that I didn't have an issue with, I'd still take their feelings into consideration. To a degree, it's okay to feel somewhat entitled to sharing certain elusive views or intimate actions exclusively with the one you're dating as something that makes them feel special to you. It can be as small as "please don't post pictures of your feet online" which to a lot of people isn't a big deal but to your partner may be something they just want exclusively to be theirs. And that's okay; it doesn't inherently point to being controlling or even the concept of "owning" your partner either. Monogamous relationships are all about setting guidelines and standards about what is and isn't okay to do with other people.

>> No.9380824

>tfw can never stop chasing the one you fell for
>tfw 7 years pass and you're still pitifully in love with them and would do anything for their sake
>tfw they know of your feelings but remain close friends with you but close off about their relationships to avoid hurting you
>tfw any emotion they give you is something to look forward to so you wouldn't mind either way
>tfw unrequited love is all I have and ever will know

who else /unhealthyobsession/ here?

>> No.9380838

I was half tempted to comment "Oh I love how similar our bags are!" and link it back to my original post. But the other person also happens to be a cosplayer so they'd probably sic their army of whiteknights at me or something and I aint got time to deal with that kind of shit.

>> No.9380843


>> No.9380909

>implying I have ever actually done this, solid logic
>the best part of it is that you're forcing yourself to be unlikable because of stupid gender norms
>congrats you fooled yourself

>> No.9380911

>Stop assuming shit.

>Assumes a stance that generalizes women and assumes all women hate men with emotions, instead of victimized pissbabies.


>> No.9380936

>AatP dress I want on lacemarket
>Waiting for upcoming Haenuli
>Both glorious stained glass and similar price

On a less frustrating feel, I finally made an instagram for my etsy and I think it's helped a lot. After a few months of a break I suddenly had 4 sales this week. Wew.

>> No.9380940

>still #triggered by ex to the extent of having panic attacks if I see a picture of him or hear about one of my friends hanging out with him
>don't miss him
>not attracted to him anymore bc I got with someone more attractive
>no lingering romantic feelings for him bc he's a tool
>sure do have this shitty phobia tho
>sure have had this shitty phobia for several years now tho
I just want to know when this shit is going to stop, it's completely retarded to have this kind of reaction to somebody that I no longer have feelings for. On a waiting list for therapy but the '12 weeks' for the waiting list has long since elapsed and I'm pretty sure they've just forgotten about me.

>> No.9380947
File: 31 KB, 297x197, rapenerds.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>taking macaron and Pocky break at con
>see whale in knockoff AP
>"Aaaaaaayyy, fatty-chan! Aaaaaayyyyy!"
>she sneers back. "Fuckin' ita."
>scream "RRRREEEEEEEEEEEE" at the top of my lungs
>we start kicking each other's feet
>the homeless were laugh

>> No.9380951

So which humans don't die, anon?

>> No.9380955

Fuck Haenuli.

>> No.9380956

Please get the therapy anon. Give them a call and see what's up. I have had girlfriends go through this for years, and I'm watching one suffer now, but I had therapy for my anxiety and learned how to manage my feelings around him, and how to move him out of my life.

Good luck.

>> No.9380960

Part of me feels like I shouldn't need therapy to get over it, though. He was just some fuckboy i was hooking up with for a few weeks until i caught feelings and he turned out to be scum, it wasn't a long term relationship or anything. So I feel like even though the symptoms are severe, that's my own fault for being a pussy, because it's not like i was raped or beaten up or something, I've had people do far worse to me and recover far quicker from it. I feel like if the therapy service isn't bothered about me then I don't want to waste their time with something trivial.

What happened with your friend?

>> No.9380964
File: 661 KB, 958x679, 1487920310994.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>stupid gender norms
Women are the ones who push those "stupid gender norms" harder than anyone.

They pretend like they don't in order to make themselves look better but the instant a guy actually breaks them women are the quickest to be disgusted and hate him.

>> No.9380967

Anon I seriously am in the same boat and and it's so bizarre.
We broke up on pretty bad terms but it's been 3+ years and I'm crazy in love with someone else, yet even just imagining some kind of interaction or confrontation with him give me a panic attack.
Fuck this bulldshit

>> No.9380969

But Frollo

>> No.9380970

Why is this considered lying? Just seems like the type to only want to spend money on clothes meant for a special time in your lives as opposed to dailywear?

>> No.9380973


>> No.9380976

Thanks gull, it's genuinely reassuring to know that I'm not the only one struggling with this shit.

>> No.9380981
File: 30 KB, 801x720, stockannoyed.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>dressed as Companion Cube at con
>dude sneers at me and yells "All hail the autism cube!"
>choke back tears
>dude is wearing a shirt with a picture of Anne Frank that says "Gas me outside How bow dah"

>> No.9380982

I messed up both my wrists and now I can't comfortably work on anything. It hurts whenever I use hands and when I try to power through it because I love making things I'm in serious pain for days. I thought they would get better on their own but it's been MONTHS.
I've spent $500+ on medical bills so far and it ruined the trip to AX I was planning. But it's not like I could even make a cosplay now.
I just really want to make things again. I'm so depressed just sitting around doing nothing. This next doctor I go to better be able to help me or I don't know what I'll do.

>> No.9380987

Sounds like you'll need physical therapy anon, I hope things get better with time.
My bf fucked his leg, blew it completely out, he's made a great recovery, but it takes time and willpower.

>> No.9381029

Thank you! It all feels a little unnatural, but I'll do my best.

I really enjoy getting to know more about him, but I notice he gets really sidetracked with flirting and trying to show me off. Have I become a potato trophy? Regardless, I can't tell if he expects me to flirt like women from my country or his country.

>> No.9381032
File: 14 KB, 800x600, 1391050542886.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be asian male in cosplay
>fake "asian accent" to seem oriental
>white girl trying to flirt
>it's one of those talk too much white girls
Just so annoying sometimes.

>> No.9381035

You know, I really struggled with this too until two months ago. Terrified to see my ex irl for months, until I finally ran into him and he asked if we had met before.

Then all of the panic, fear, and anger left

>> No.9381036
File: 298 KB, 600x512, image.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>>fake "asian accent" to seem oriental

>> No.9381037

Being ABC makes us too Americanized. Chicks love a little accent.

>> No.9381039

Haha well I guess if it works.

>> No.9381060
File: 28 KB, 400x400, tumblr_od1lpbpleo1rik431o1_400.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.9381072

It will never be revealed to the likes of you ;)

>> No.9381073


>> No.9381075

That's what I'm kind of expecting now. I sucks but at least I'll have a plan soon.
Thanks for the hope

>> No.9381085

I feel bad for your girlfriend. I hope she dumps your sorry ass.

>> No.9381098

>girlfriend has IBS
>have to design a costume she can tear away at a moment's notice

Fuck me.

>> No.9381115

I'm sorry anon, but kek

>> No.9381116

>the instant a guy actually breaks them

>> No.9381120

As a guy with pretty serious IBS, I feel for her and for you. Shit fucking sucks. (No pun intended.)

But hey, on the bright side, maybe you can get some fun out of that breakaway costume when you guys get back to the hotel room at the end of the day?

>> No.9381126
File: 144 KB, 180x180, ryukochew.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>dude is wearing a shirt with a picture of Anne Frank that says "Gas me outside How bow dah"
Christ, that is some next-level cancer.

>> No.9381136
File: 105 KB, 696x520, 10924801_1413911918902553_2037807676506709321_n.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Break normal gender roles.

Women have spent the last few decades complaining about how they should be able to do whatever they want regardless of their traditional gender roles, yet are still the harshest enforcers when it comes to telling men they have to be strong stoic alpha providers and are a loser if they're anything else.

>> No.9381143
File: 284 KB, 419x380, 1482720914405.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>article about not dating beta english guys from 2012
>egalitarian beliefs article from 2014

nigga aint you heard about growing up and becoming more enlightened? why are you even here go back to /r9k/ you robot asshole

>> No.9381147

I don't need any community full of sugar babies telling me to grow up.

>> No.9381161
File: 313 KB, 400x400, 1485139740411.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

i didnt tell you to grow up senpai, i said the proof you provided for decrying feminism is weak, because the articles provided were written several years apart basically providing time for her to grow up and whatever
pffft i dont care if your bitch ass grows up, youre the one who's going to die alone not me bucko.
you can keep your bad attitude. youre just another meaningless spec of dust on this planet that doesnt matter anyway.
have fun being bitter because your mom doesnt love you~~

>> No.9381162

Aside from what the other anon said, she could also be talking about different things here.

"Aggressive" in the first one could be totally overbearing assholes, while the second could just be complaining about total betas who won't even talk to a girl. For all we know she'd be totally fine with a shy awkward guy who sucked it up and started a conversation.

>> No.9381196

My ex was emotionally abusive and it's has been almost a year and this fucker is still creeping on me. I tried several times to dumb him but it was so damn hard after he had isolated me from everyone and I was able to get away only when I met someone who would take me over. It's nothing too big anymore but I just wish he would move on or something. I haven't talked to him atleast in a half of a year when I suddenly saw him in a geocery store. In the past I have been almost throwing up and shaking but I just put it aside and went up to him smiling and said hi. He almost started to cry. I felt so fucking victorious seeing him running away when he had a change. It made me feel so much better after all the straight up creeping and bullying he has been up to. I really hope both of you anons get a similar change, it felt so good after everything. Just to be clear, I don't wish anything bad on him, guy probably has some serious issues.

>> No.9381212
File: 704 KB, 1280x720, Hei_drinking.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>have successful career im passionate about
>requires absurd hours and travel
>basically professional hikikomori in mid-20's despite this
>want to find someone just as highly self motivated and nerdy as myself thats okay with my lifestyle
>trying to summon up the courage and free time to cosplay at a convention again
>feels like im looking for a needle in a haystack
>still an antisocial recluse with poor social skills being dropped into a public setting

>> No.9381215

Have you considered that you may actually have or are starting to develop social anxiety? Sometimes intensely fearing interaction with some people develops into a fear of social situations in general.

>> No.9381279

I feel like future me wrote this post. Currently in the middle of kickstarting a career that requires the same as yours, and already kind of longing for the same things as you.

>> No.9381296

Worst part is I had met a high level accountant that was a bit older than me, but with very similar interests. Eventually both our work made a functional relationship impossible, so now it's been three years later and no luck since. Just be ready for your work to be your life, and whatever social contacts you have to fall apart.

>> No.9381314

>high level accountant
Were you playing a tabletop RPG? d20 Modern?

>> No.9381323

I already have. I should seek help for that but I'm too afraid to do it. I have other health issues which need to be addressed first but I guess it'a just an excuse. Bright side is it used to be worse but I don't want to end up there again.

>> No.9381337

I hooked up with a boy in the UK a couple years ago when I was stationed here (US Air Mattress here) and when things were like "this isn't working" he *still* texts me every con weeekend, if I attend or not.....creepy British Boys

>> No.9381342

Meant someone working on transitioning into a controller position. That wouldn't make sense to most people. Generally you know, you can say someone is "low level" if they're in a non-senior position, or "below" someone in the corporate ladder.

>> No.9381344

Well, if you even see a "ladder"....

>> No.9381562

Called up therapy service just now and got on their ass. Thanks for the support gulls, sometimes you just need to know that somebody else knows that feel.

>> No.9381568

Cones of Dunshire is the high level accountant game of choice

>> No.9381591

Haha loser.

>> No.9381619

I don't recall saying anything about feminsm, just that women aren't willing to accept men who don't fit the one traditional male mold.

Which you seem to simultaneously be trying to deny because it makes you mad to have your hypocritical behavior called out, but also laughing and bragging that it's true.

>> No.9381636
File: 43 KB, 544x544, IMG_0007.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Long ears sharp ears, Anna house, some taobao brands like strawberry witch for custom main pieces. Some fully shirred brand like btssb shirring princess jsk, some older meta are quite large.
Check out Glitter Tale if you're into chiffon blouses, they have a variety of styles but Dolly Tinkerbell and custom 19 are my personal favorites.
Shapewear for smoothing but don't immediately go for corsets, you can hurt your intestines.

Not yet, instead I have been dealing with the death of my bff, she died suddenly and I'm still in shock. I doubt I'd make a good impression right now.

>> No.9381707
File: 75 KB, 317x266, IMG_2989.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I'm a complete sperg so I figure I'd ask here:
What's the best way to tell someone that they're getting kicked out of a cosplay group? Especially if you want to be direct but not rude to avoid any kind of unecessary drama.

>> No.9381714

>yo (expelled person) what's up
>the group discussed your presence and you have to go
>hope we can remain on good terms.

>> No.9381817

>>9380261 is good advice, you could go one step further and set up separate "monthly budget" and "discretionary" bank accounts, and set up a direct debit on pay day so you're sure you always put away enough to get through the month, even if you clear out your account..

>Life is momentary happiness with much suffering.
You have problems, anon.

>> No.9381853

They're not incorrect though. Life is inherently more suffering than satisfaction - it's built into our psychology because it's the motivational driving force for improvement. It's why we feel pretty happy when we get a raise at first but very quickly become accustomed to our newfound wealth and eventually it doesn't feel special anymore.

Happiness is very short lived. This is true regardless of whether you have depression or chose to have an optimistic outlook on life; it's just naturally going to be filled with more melancholy than enjoyment. Not only that, but the times of distress will almost undoubtedly affect you much deeper than the times of glee. Feeling a heavy churning in the depths of your chest for hours at night as your mind tortures you will surely be more a significant event than the smile put on your face from a close friend's thoughtful gift that will excite you for maybe an hour before you mellow down.

>> No.9381855

I used to feel exactly like you say when I was in the process coming out of depression, but a few years on and I realize that it's not normal to feel that way. Happiness and sadness can both be short lived or long lived, and like you become accustomed to happiness, you learn to cope with hurt. If you regularly find yourself in a state of deep sadness then there is something seriously wrong with your life.

>> No.9381861

There's nothing wrong with the correct emotion for what life is throwing at you. If someone should feel sad, let them.
However, misplaced emotions and the inability to feel happy is a problem.

>> No.9381863
File: 84 KB, 612x612, f5b84c1f51bbb27f86342ba392887ff7[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Dying is worse
I mean, dying is just resetting to zero. There's not really a "worse" when you have no way to experience anything anymore. That sounds bad, but you won't even have the capacity to even be bothered by that thought so it isn't a big deal.

If your every day live is filled with suffering and there's no alternative, suicide isn't really a bad option honestly. As a society we really like discouraging it because there ARE many cases in which those who are suicidal can get help; but there are also cases where that isn't a reality and the choice between suffering and obliteration of one's consciousness becomes a bit easier to pick between. If someone is suffering from an illness that has them bedridden in a hospital bed with no hope for curing, would you say it's better for them to be alive even if every day is filled with suffering?

Let's say, hypothetically, they had something like bone cancer (which is extremely painful - your bones will grow spikes that will be ripping you from the inside) but we've advanced far enough in cancer treatment to keep them alive but not quite yet to remove the cancer. They lay in bed all day and have intense bouts of agony; yet they aren't in danger of death. Do you think it's better for them to stay alive, despite this, in hopes that maybe sometime in the future there's some way for them to get help? To just let them hold on to that possibly unobtainable wish? Do you still find it worse for them to just die if they truly want to?

There's no right or wrong answer really, it's just food for thought. Psychological pain can be just as, if not worse, than physical pain. Depending on the severity of depression, they really may be in this hypothetical position but just not in a way that gives clear visual dismay for you to easier empathize with.

I don't want people to commit suicide but I certainly understand that, realistically, there are times in which it isn't so bad of an option.

>> No.9381893
File: 321 KB, 600x670, puketoon.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Using bathroom in Doubletree during lolita tea party with RinRin
>Only one other person in the bathroom
>Hear someone taking a huge, nasty shit
>Leave stall and wash hands
>Out walks my sister's mom

>> No.9381894

>read this secretly hoping it was RinRin

wtf is wrong with me

>> No.9381908

Cool girlyhoot copypasta bro.

>> No.9381922


Oh, you mean Diarrhea-chan.

>> No.9381969
File: 53 KB, 500x360, rgu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw huge lesbo, no lolita gf
>absolute shit at approaching people in general, always feel like i come on too strong. even worse at being tactful and not overbearing when i'm interested in someone
>start dressing ouji, hope that cute grills talk to me first
>build a decent ouji wardrobe, find i mostly enjoy it more than lolita anyway

>get a new job, low starting pay but with huge growth opportunities, don't have time or money to go to meets recently though
>can't wait to finally build myself up enough to live on my own and support my hobbies
>can't stop thinking about lolita gf of my dreams either

i feel like i can see my life on the horizon but i'm not there just yet. i can't be anyone's prince like this.

>> No.9381972

I know that a few local cosplayers also browse /cgl/ ,which is whatever, but there's one person that constantly posts things from here on Facebook. They keep trying to get brownie points for calling out the ~mean internet bullies~ and it's pretty obvious who they are based on similar posting styles. Part of me wants to say something but I know it wouldn't really be worth it. Just annoys me that someone can act like a complete asshole and then turn around and say "look how mean these people are! awful!" as if they aren't part of it

>> No.9381998
File: 71 KB, 646x624, 1347145930467.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>tfw no spoiled /cgl/ gf with a fat ass for me to munch on.

>> No.9382000

Women are already beta, how is a beta woman going to expect another beta woman to approach?

This is reaching epic levels of hilarity. How do lesbians even get together?

>> No.9382002

>Obligatory, omg you're a horrible person
Medical assisted suicide is the way I want to go when the future isn't retarded.

>> No.9382004
File: 37 KB, 800x600, IMG_7939.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>be me in 2008
>shell out a buttload of cash for perfect Moitie blouse brand new
>wear it a lot over the following years
>didn't wear it in past year, need money, sell it
>really regret it, can't find anything similar, periodically think about it
>check obscure secondhand site, blouse is there, first time I've seen one for sale ever since I bought mine new
>put in request with SS
>wait anxiously all day
>get email from SS
>blouse is mine again

Feels so good.

>> No.9382005

That's why most lesbian relationships end up being butch/non-butch

The butch assume the masculine role of doing fucking everything to get a relationship started.

>> No.9382018

>the butch assumes the masculine role
>female in masculine role in a lesbian relationship

Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose?

>> No.9382029

It's an assertiveness, it could be gender neutral but everyone uses "masculine" falsely.

>> No.9382096
File: 200 KB, 704x528, seppuku.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Having a cosplay get-together at a local barcade, but my comm is blowing it off for A Day Without a Woman.

>> No.9382101

Well as we just previously established SOMEONE has to do it. Just imagine lesbian "relationships" where both women acted like regular women.

>woman 1 likes woman 2
>woman 2 also likes woman 1
>woman 1 sits and waits for woman 2 to approach and ask her out
>woman 2 also sits and waits for woman 1 to ask her out
>continues indefinitely
>relationship is dead before it begins

>> No.9382107

but i(female) asked my boyfriend out, does that mean im the butch?

>> No.9382120

You're not a regular woman to some degree.

>> No.9382126

And this is the time in most young girls' life, when they too remember that no one knows you're a dog on the internet.

>> No.9382127

Not the anon you're replying to (actually the anon that the anon is replying to), but... no?

Isn't a butch just a masculine female? It takes more than assertiveness to be masculine, although it is a generally (and traditionally) masculine trait.

See this is where it all gets confusing. If there's a butch in the relationship, then that seems to defeat the purpose of it being a lesbian relationship for the nonbutch unless she just likes the aesthetics of a female. Because the butch would be a woman acting like a man in a woman woman relationship.

A regular lesbian relationship would just be two females who are feminine females, right?

So if my calculations are correct, a woman who would want to be in a relationship with a butch must also logically be into effeminite looking men. Not acting, just looking.

Which automatically cancels out being strictly lesbian. Hmmmmmmmm....

>> No.9382133

Wait a minute. The reverse (as in, for gay males), must also be true!

Is being gay/lesbian just a state of perspective?

Does this mean that some people subconsciously trick themselves into being gay/lesbian?

I need to draw this out, give me a minute.

>> No.9382136
File: 182 KB, 311x300, hanklaugh.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Where I'm from, "blowing off" means farting.

>> No.9382137

By this logic the typical straight male must be into effeminate looking and acting men. It doesn't work that way.

>> No.9382140

Isn't that the basis behind the "trap"?
And if it weren't effective, they wouldn't be called "traps".
Now, some are forward about being one which defeats the namesake, but those that aren't and fulfill the namesake would trick heterosexual men by looking and acting effeminate.
And this phenomenon has caused quite the confusion due to how good these so called "traps" are at fulfilling their namesake.

That's something else to mull over.

>> No.9382150

'Straight' men who like traps are a tiny minority though, despite what this place might lead you to believe.

>> No.9382156

I never mentioned LIKING traps.
Rather, being tricked by traps.
You see, it's only upon realization that suddenly the perspective is changed and rejection is shown.
If you're tricked into falling for a trap, there was attraction there in the first place (we can argue semantics on the "tricked part later). If there was attraction, that proves my theory.

But there's something that bugs the hell out of me.
Going back to the butch relationship idea, is the woman who IS the butch just as much a lesbian as the women who are into women (that aren't butch)?
Because both are strictly into feminine women, right? One just happens to be masculine.

Why are human being so complicated arghhhh

>> No.9382157
File: 68 KB, 650x1100, 941abfd856556680dd576fb964c55903.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

no but traps pass themselves as female though. i think what anon meant the male equivalent of a butch lesbian which is a male that tries to act like their female counterpart but you're aware they are male. like a "fairy" faggot type. a butch lesbian is easily identifiable as female despite acting and looking"manly", and fags act and look "feminine" despite being easily perceived as men.

>> No.9382158


>> No.9382159

Lol, like you know anything at all about how a straight guy's mind works.
>'If it's pretty, fuck it'
That's what it boils down to folks, put a label on it, whatever, this is the everlasting truth over all things.

>> No.9382160

it's an identity thing unfortunately. butch lesbians relate and like the stereotypical man traits either because its within their nature to act that way or it's somewhat of an idealized self thing.
it's really not that complicated though. people are attracted to certain aesthetics and sometimes those traits arent inherently related to the sex of the person that exhibits it. lesbians clearly are just into the vagina which is just the crux of what makes girl a lesbian. whatever the owner of the vag looks like and acts like is secondary i guess?

>> No.9382163

communicate youre emotions like an adult and come to a conclusion you both can feel comfortable with
if you cant come to one decide on wether or not the conflict is a big enough issue that it would make you end the relationship if you dont get your way
if its not that important, let her do as she pleases
if it is, break up with her

>> No.9382164

>That's a false dichotomy
thats a double negative

>> No.9382224

For the traps thing, it's got a term based in biology known as mimicry and despite humans having high levels of intelligence, attraction is a largely subconscious ordeal. The short of it is, if someone looks and dresses like a female, subconscious attraction should be expected, as the person has closely fit the physical form of the opposite gender. Attraction to very passable traps actually means everything is working as intended, and the appearance of the trap is the point of failure, rather than the male's subconscious attraction.

If you want to get further into it, sexual attraction is always somewhat loose as being attracted to a large range of potential mates is an advantage for procreation.

>> No.9382237
File: 69 KB, 589x834, 7e33c3fe-58b8-415f-aa6a-674bcd3d090e..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

You are correct; assertiveness isn't intrinsically a masculine trait. You are, however, not accounting for the fact that we socially condition this trait to be groomed for boys more so than girls. This is, among other things, one of the issues people don't like discussing when the subject of gender roles come up. One's upbringing really affects them a lot more than most of us would hope. Not having assertiveness be a trait taught to you in childhood makes it really hard to pick up as a skill later on in life.

This is also part of the reason for the wage gap. By far, men negotiate starting wages and ask for raises more often than their female counterparts with the same credentials. Most employers aren't going to just give a higher base compensation or salary increase unless you prod them - and most women won't because they aren't raised to be go-getters. This of course isn't all women, but it's certainly something to take into account.

For the record - "nice guys" also have a wage gap with other men; the common denominator between them and women being they often aren't assertive and are more willing to let employers take advantage of their timid natures. I really find it interesting that nobody takes this into account.

That's why I feel the wage gap debate is looking at it the wrong way. While I'm sure there's of course bias here and there, a majority of the wage gap most likely comes from the way we socially engineer girls to *not* get higher wages. The fix for the wage gap isn't to just give free extra money to compensate, but rather to stop raising girls differently than boys. This isn't something that's likely to happen though.

>> No.9382248
File: 19 KB, 210x240, ee1cf758-1add-47bd-aeab-7778fb80f2ae..jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Re-reading my comment - that went zero to one hundred real quick and in sorry for that. I just care deeply about the wage gap issue and wish more people would try actually thinking critically about the reasons behind it so that we can actually resolve it instead of shouting MUH OPPRESSION. Large problems are better solved when you break them into smaller parts that can be addressed first to affect the larger picture. Modern feminism sucks at doing this and I hate it. Makes equal rights activists seem like a fucking joke.

Ugh tfw you get #triggered off a feels thread and go off tangent write a mini college essay about gender inequality on a Bangladeshi Gladiator Picture book board. Mother was right, I don't utilize my talents in the proper settings and will always be a failure so long as I dedicate my resources inappropriately and neglecting to showcase myself in areas that actually matter.

Brb going to Gensokyo.

>> No.9382263

I think you overestimate the effects of society over nature. Humans existed for hundreds of thousands of years before society and males and females were still different in those ways. And even before humans our animal ancestors also generally had the same male-female differences for hundreds of millions of years.

Men and women are generally going to act certain ways and no amount of societal conditioning will change that. Most women would rather take an easy career and let a man work hard to earn money for her. Assertiveness also usually comes with responsibility and more work required and most women would simply rather avoid those, not because society told them to but because women just generally are that way.

>> No.9382266
File: 994 KB, 500x279, 200_s.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>broke up w/ abusive ex over 2 years ago after 5+ years of being together
>still have nightmares about him weekly
>2 this week already actually

is this just part of my life now?

>> No.9382288

nayrt but i agree with them. most animals have societies and are encouraged to stick to the rules, or face being ostracized. even lions and ants have societies, not as "advanced" or whatever as ours but humans are a social species, and a human "society" didnt start at a set date, it was always there. So its kind of hard to separate social conditioning from personalities(nature or nurture stuffs). If there was a study of an entirely isolated male and female and ppl could actually see a person unaffected by conditioning, i would be able to maybe see ur point. But thats inhumane so theres not much we can do besides test on monkeys or whatever

>> No.9382289

Or you could just study biology, and some English too while you're at it.

>> No.9382291

i just think theres a lot more to it than biology thats all

>> No.9382310

Hardly. Human society is so advanced thanks to the contributions of a tiny number of intelligent people throughout history. The rest of humanity remains little more than dumb animals driven by simple instinct.

And you keep trying to blame the way people tend to act on society, but how do you think society came to be the way it is? There was no council of wizards who got together in a meeting hundreds of thousands of years ago and just decided how everything would be and all of humanity was just forced to follow their orders. Society developed naturally based on our biology. And the fact that every society in every part of the world throughout history when it comes to male-female behavior should be extremely clear evidence that it's entrenched in our DNA.

Getting back to the original point, the only thing that will ever make women more assertive is if they choose to be. It's not societies fault, it's not the fault of anybody or anyone but themselves. No amount of trying to shift the blame will get over the fact that you just have fucking do it yourselves. And I highly doubt women ever will do that because it's much easier to just roll with their current situation of working easy lives and taking money from men, then complain about muh wage gap and demand even more free money for nothing.

>> No.9382312

> lose a bunch of weight
> finally fit in most japanese brand except now
> realize that I'm actually big boned, so there's a limit to how smaller I can get

guess I will never own a OP, then.

>> No.9382319

MY SO insists on buying cheap shoes for cosplay and they just immediately fall the fuck apart. Like dude 90% of your cosplays are guys who wear black oxfords. Just get a nice pair of black oxfords. You've been through 3 pairs of the same junk ebay shoes now.
Also he won't throw the old shoes away "just in case".
I'm steamed. It doesn't make sense.

>> No.9382328

So someone random messaged me on FB about a lolita dress (after leaving me a fb poke ew) that I had not posted for sale at all, asking if I had it and wanted to trade it. I said I did but no thanks, wondering if they mistakenly messaged the wrong person or posted the wrong image.

Then I found out they had also emailed me which the same message, with a link. Basically this link was from the EGL Sales livejournal, where it shows me buying this dress from another user about 3 years ago, with my email address left there for my paypal details.

The fact they went around looking at super old sales posts to try and find people who had bought their 'dream dress' and messaged them to see if they still had it, and THEN finding me on fb, is fucking freaky. WTF

>> No.9382335

Sounds like a slut, might want to reevaluate things

>> No.9382343
File: 15 KB, 400x398, Cn7Eg6nW8AAXlus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>doorbell rings this morning
>what, i'm not expecting any packages right now except a second-hand jsk and bag from y!j
>it can't be those, i didn't get a customs notice in the mail and they were like 90€ together
>that's exactly what it is
>customs form notes them as 9500 yen and 2500 yen as they should be
>total: 11500 yen
>mfw customs just let me get like 95€ worth of shit without import fees

Customs here doesn't do cash on delivery or pay-after delivery, it's all either online or at their office, so I'm fucking home free.

>> No.9382371

>have successful career
>basically professional hikikomori

>> No.9382385

lol sorry you dont have a gf

>> No.9382389

Once you get time, maybe get more involved in a comm? I'm this, but for cosplay desu. I think I just need to put myself into more social groups and just need time for cons and meeting more friends. Finding common ground is so much easier at meets and I feel less nervous about starting a conversation than out of the blue.

>> No.9382426

>If there was a study of an entirely isolated male and female and ppl could actually see a person unaffected by conditioning, i would be able to maybe see ur point.
The early forms of the Israeli kibbutz system combined communal/marxist lifestyle and removal of gender roles for raising children including separating them in children's-only houses away from their parent's houses. When children raised in the system grew up they gravitated to traditional gender roles anyway and on the economic side the communes went capitalist in order to stay financially afloat.
>The fix for the wage gap isn't to just give free extra money to compensate, but rather to stop raising girls differently than boys. This isn't something that's likely to happen though.
It's not like it hasn't been tried.

>> No.9382522

Some people really want the dress. There's a thread up right now on "rare dresses" that people spend years scouring the internet for.

>> No.9382630

> encounter lolita online and instantly fall in love
> thinking "what could be cuter than me being a lolita? having a lolita gf!"
> get into lolita
> doing my research and all, so not an ita
> also my only motivator wasnt just to get a gf but i was hoping
> join local comm
> all of them at least 4 years older than me
> cry
> im going to die alone

>> No.9382658

I don't get it.

>> No.9382669

Maybe they're on the train that you need to date someone exactly your age or else it's "pedophilia".

>> No.9382675

>have really tiny
>have worst time finding lolita shoes
>SS and S sizes in black always sold out on burando
> See S IW shoes on LM
>Only $40
> They arrive
>Still too big
> Cry as I stab a hole in the straps to make them fit better

>> No.9382681

I still don't get it.

That only matters between 13-15 year olds dating people 4 years senior.
And that's in the US.

I'm pretty sure yuropoors date anyone old enough to nod their head.

All of this means that anon is underage b& or retarded.

And considering this is /cgl/, and /cgl/ is on 4chan, I'm going to say "all of the above"

>> No.9382685

>have really tiny
Waist? Wallet? Breasts? Penis?

>> No.9382691

Considering that the post was about shoes- feet.

It's a trend on tumblr, from what I've seen. It doesn't matter that both people are over the age of consent. If there's an age gap- it's pedophilia.
I never said that it made sense.

>> No.9382771

>really love maid costumes but specifically the long ones
>wants to shill out on some milky ange
>out one day shopping with friend
>conventions come up and I show her the costume I was going to purchase
>she moonspeaks to me this so others around us don't understand
>well you're black, so people will think you're cosplaying a slave instead of just a cute maid"
>laughs it off but as soon as I'm back to my apartment I start to ball like an idiot

guess I'll just go to the convention out of cosplay I guess..

>> No.9382774

That's an impressively clever and original comment but I'm not quite sure how it's supposed to prove what I said wrong.

>> No.9382782

Damn your friend is savage.

>> No.9382792

yeah, we are close and I know she meant it to protect me but I guess it hurt because I know she's right.

>> No.9382821

That makes absolutely no sense.

>> No.9382844

The only people who's whining about "pedophilia" are the underage shits who haven't even been weened off their bottles yet. They really need to fucken chill out and stop harassing people over this shit.

>> No.9383000


My arms just don't fit into cute sleeves no matter how much weight i lose or how lean I am

>> No.9383115
File: 88 KB, 500x467, h17.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>pay for 2 week shipping
>packages being held for over 2 weeks in customs alone

>> No.9383262

Anon if you like the dress just do it anyways! Milky Ange is that brand that has really cute elaborately designed maid dresses right? If i saw a black girl wearing a long /simple/ maid dress I might think she's some kind of civil war reenactor or something but if it's a super cute maid dress with lace and frills that just happens to have a long skirt I probably wouldn't think that at all.

>> No.9383432

Oh my god

>> No.9384623

I'm a dude with an egg head.
Overall attractive, I lift, and my skin is good.
But no amount of cuts or makeup can help an egg.

It's not that big of a deal, but I do wish it was easier to work with.

Do you guys have any conjectures on what can be done?

>> No.9384639

Being an egghead isn't the end of the world! Just remember that there's a sunny side to everything. Even when things feel really scrambled. Just don't count your chickens before they hatch, you know?

>> No.9384849
File: 37 KB, 680x383, Mami-fc8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This sounds exactly like my life right now. I'm seriously thinking of quitting Big 4 accounting in a few months. As soon as I get that promotion to senior, i'm going to jump off that sinking ship for a cushy 9 to 5 gig. The amount of time and energy I put into this job is fucking insane, and I feel like i'm not contributing anything for the betterment of society.

>> No.9385488

We would probably get along.
I can't get out of my position like that without seriously setting myself back to practically nothing.
Best of luck to you gull.

>> No.9387221

This hurt anon. I get trapped in that black/brown character box as well as the small loli girl box. It's hurt because it not the character type I even liked.

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