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/cgl/ - Cosplay & EGL

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9755987 No.9755987 [Reply] [Original] [rbt]

Should I even go to cons if I have no friends?

>> No.9755997

Sorry anon cons all have a buddy system, you can't go in without already having a friend.

But serious response, yeah go and make some. Unless you are completely socially awkward or retarded it's fairly easy to make friends, stupidly so if you cosplay with any amount of effort above homestuck or some shit.

>> No.9756016

Yeah! Do you like games? Hanging out in the game room is a great way to meet friends and talk to people, especially multiplayer.

Alternatively, just go to tons of panels and shop like crazy. Sometimes friends actually hinder activities like this. They don't ever want to sit in panels I want to, so I'm just left alone for like an hour anyway.

>> No.9756134

If you're shy try to meet someone online (most of the cons have discussions on their social media pages where you can find someone lonely and start con-madness together).

Honestly, when I was young and had no friends I tried to go to a con once just by myself and that was kinda awkward. I felt kinda lonely. Yeah, I had some smalltalks with others but most of the time I just felt misplaced. So if you're an introvert it may be hard for you.

>> No.9756159

Why don't you try to join a group or something?

>> No.9756180

Yeah, go there to do stuff you like.
When i go to cons i usually try to get away from friends. Nothing is worse than having friends rush you when you are looking at stalls or don't want to line up for panels you might want to see and constantly want to hover around you

>> No.9756303

I would like to think that /cgl/ would be a good place to meet people or form groups, but I am frequently wrong. Also, people meeting online and agreeing to share hotel rooms isn't uncommon, if you're willing to risk becoming another horror story.

>> No.9756310

Honestly one of the best cons I ever went to was an out of state con where I knew almost no one. I just did whatever I wanted and the random encounters with strangers were really fun! Made a few friends unintentionally.

>> No.9756314
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>making friends

>> No.9756318
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>> No.9756319

Honestly, I have way more fun at cons when I'm not constantly having to keep track of where friends are so we can meet up at certain times and whatnot. Being able to explore at your own pace and do whatever you want is like half the fun.

>> No.9756322
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You need to put yourself out there! Try posting in the Friend Finder thread and see if there are any people in your area. I have horrible social anxiety but I've been trying to force myself to step out of my comfort zone and meet new people. If you happen to be from TX I know there are a lot of cool people on /cgl/ that're pretty friendly, myself included!

>> No.9756332
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I go to cons often and I meet people, sometimes talk for a few seconds, sometimes more like 30 minutes, sometimes they walk away and I never hear from them again and sometimes they add me online as a friend and we chat once in a while for short portions.

But I feel like despite this, I haven't made a real "friend" from cons? There are several people who've even started talks of group cosplays with me or photoshoots and then drop the idea and do it without me or alone.

I don't get what I'm doing wrong but it must be something. I keep good boundaries and I don't bring up political/uncomfortable topics. It seems like the furthest I can get with anyone is just simple acquaintances.

>> No.9756462
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I mean, I'm not completely against the suggestion, but the friend finder thread is kind of a crapshoot

Half the time, I get ghosted for no given reason. It's not like I say anything crass, or bring up an uncomfortable topic. The conversation just dies and then I notice the other person removed me from their friend list.

>> No.9756469

Yes. Best case scenario is you make friends there. Worst case is that you enjoy it alone.

There was a con 4~5 years ago that all my friends couldn't go for different reasons, I went alone and had fun. Also saw great cosplays. Only downside is, if you're cosplaying, there is no friend to hold your shit for you when you need it.

>> No.9756523

No, unless your a cute lolita.

then doubley no

>> No.9756673

Life is about persistence. Keep trying to make friends.

>> No.9756697

Are you me? I have this problem everywhere I go, be it school/meetups/cons, whatever. I've Come to a point where I don't really care about making friends anymore and get really sceptical when someone shows the slightest bit of interest in me since 80% of the friends I make drop me within ~6 months without any reason. I neither talk about weird stuff, know how to keep my distance, are open minded and try to be positive/funny but it doesn't help. I also shower regularly, Brush my teeth and wear make-up so that can't be the problem either. I Just don't know mang

>> No.9756702
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>posted in multiple friend finder threads
>no replies

>> No.9756704

Me too, probably because I'm a guy.

>> No.9756715
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Similar problem here, have met a couple people in the past but it dwindled fast. Have been added by a couple girls in the past but was too beta to go ahead and start a conversation because even if I had no intention of trying to hit on them, I still felt it would be perceived as such or that it was implied anyway.

>> No.9757237
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>just make friends
>everywhere I look everyone is already in a group

>> No.9757248

same, added some guys and some girls, but they typically ask what your gender is and dropped me after they found out I was a guy

>> No.9757260

Nope. If you're not interesting enough to make friends to begin with, you're not going to make them there where socially awkward people congregate

>> No.9757264

first con I went to I had no friends
now I have too many fucking friends
you can do it anon

>> No.9757269

I pretty much always go alone. When I first started going to cons I had no friends that also went but now every con I go to pretty much anywhere on the east coast there is a good chance I will at least know someone.

>> No.9757280

Anyone else know this feel?
>go to a con with friends
>end up doddling the whole time around the vendor hall and stuff
>they all get bored quick and it turns into idk what do you want to do con
>con isn't ruined but definitely a lot more of a downer
>person who was going to cosplay backed out, other dude in normal clothes with some logo on it
>end up cosplay myself people want pictures
>"anon do you have to stop at everyone who wants a photo with you"
>tell them I can hit them back up after I walk around a bit for some photo stuff
>"nah I want to see the cosplayers but this con blows"
>end up at a bar some where and drink and play pool
>go to con by myself, hotel cost a bit more but eh
>have a blast
>get invited to parties
>no schedule
>make new friends each con

>> No.9757287

Yeah this is the way to do cons. I like going to cons where I know people but not going with a group per say. I might hang out with people I know in the game room or get food together but I like being able to do what I want.

>> No.9757291

Yeah I don't mind meeting up with people for an event or drink; but rooming with a friends then trying to figure who has the card to the room or what not is a pain in the ass so much.

>> No.9757474
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Oh my fucking god, this.
People always seem to say that it's possible to infiltrate (god, that sounds bad) an established friend group...but like, how the fuck do even do that without being awkward as fuck.

I personally like going to cons solo because it means that I have true freedom to do whatever I want at my own pace. I will admit, though, seeing people clustered in little groups, especially during the chill evening times...kinda makes me want to eat a bullet. I'm going to a con soon and I'm gonna try my hardest to avoid this feel. Wish me luck and strength.

>> No.9757521
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I'll be your friend m'lady

>> No.9757545


I don't know if it's just us, gulls, or if everyone has that
I've heard of a few others that they have the same issue...
I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that people going to cons just aren't really good at keeping and deepening friendships in general. Maybe we should just be a little more pro-active, take matters into our own hands and ask for social media and then chat up those people more often...

What do you think?

>> No.9757604

Second ayrt, and I think you're right. My guess is also that People are very impulsive. You know how you could be going through an xyz anime phase for a few months, and then go through an xyz game phase for a while? I think People have the Same thing with relationships. In the beginning there's this impulsive honeymoon phase and it feels like You'll be friends for life, then it fades for them and they stop interacting with you, while for us, nothing changed and we would like to stay friends with them. Meanwhile they are getting into their next phase/friendship. I hope I'm making sense.

>> No.9757771
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>Bought a pass for Anime Boston
>No friends weeb enough to go
>Broke up with the only person who'd be down for it
It is 100% acceptable to wander cons alone and confused. Don't let anyone tell you different OP.

>> No.9757910

But did you have fun?

>> No.9757924
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I-I don't know, the con is still a couple months away

>> No.9757925

Then just make friends with other guys, baka!

>> No.9757945

No, that's gay

>> No.9757962

That made sense for me, I would say most people are not that good at keeping relationships. Offline life doesn't shine as much as their online/marketing side, so we may get a cycle that:
starts by expecting a big hit -> going all out or being too one-sided -> realizing that regular contact isn't that great -> dropping interest (lack of common motivation, shyness or whatever) -> LET'S FIND SOMEONE ELSE
The closest groups and dearest people for me never happened overnight, for every great thing you see behind me there were boring and terrible days. Keeping yourself in high spirits is easier said than done tho, but every small thing eventually adds up to something bigger in your life

>> No.9758604

My problem too

>> No.9761946
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As someone who has no friends and has been to a few cons I can tell you it beats sitting at home. I do have some tips:
>Don't go too early because certain things will be closed and you'll be sitting around by yourself messing on your phone for what feels like forever
>Don't have any expectations of something happening, just try to enjoy getting out of the house
>If you have anxiety take phenibut beforehand
>Have some alcohol in the car for emergencies
>Only go for one day, being by yourself the whole weekend surrounded by groups of friends and couples will make you want to kill yourself

>> No.9761961
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>Don't go too early because certain things will be closed and you'll be sitting around by yourself messing on your phone for what feels like forever
I made this rookie mistake the first time

>> No.9762178

Am I going to be silently judged for obviously having no friends?

>> No.9762185

no, plenty of people wander around cons alone even if they DO have friends. no one gives a shit

>> No.9762230
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My cosplay buddy is such a drama queen, she's pain in the ass but I'm too scared to go alone. Who's gonna take pictures of me or how do I just walk around by myself

>> No.9762232

Cons are the most judge-free zone I've ever been to. It's literally a gathering of losers.

>> No.9762256

No more than usual

>> No.9762323

There are more lonely people than you think. I say fake it till you make it.

If you feel excited about a cosplay or art from the artist alley or even an obscure shirt reference you recognize, go up to that person and gush about it.

When you are excited to see people, those people are excited to see you. Yeah, sometimes it backfires, but I've found that generally people like compliments and knowing other people share their interests.

Don't worry about breaking into friend groups or anything like that. Just get yourself out there. You have a hundred thousand chances. But you have to make the first step. Allow yourself to trip and fall. Then dust yourself off.

If you are earnest and have the drive to be a good person and a good friend, people will take notice. I know I do.

>> No.9765869

"Less people you go with, less drama there is." I've been going to cons for 4 years now and each times I was going with a group there was always that one person causing dumb drama. If you plan going with people make sure any of them are fucking drama queens, i'm talking from experience lol. Last con I went with my boyfriend only and we had a lot of fun, smaller groups are better but going alone is totally fine, you could also meet new people over there you never know.

>> No.9765900

Not really getting, what's your advice for keeping long-term relationships then? :)

>> No.9767097

is it even worth going to con just to showcase your new cos but you're alone and can't buy anything?? i feel like my cos would just go to waste if i just take photos at home..

>> No.9767164

I'm pretty much on the same level as your average neckbeard in all but the fact that I shave, will I have a chance of happiness as long as I don't hit on girls?

>> No.9767196

It is awkward. Mostly because you don't know them as well as they know each other. But it gets less and less awkward the more you connect with them. Until it's like you always were a part of that group. At least that's the experience for me.

>> No.9767377

Yes? That's why you go to cons, senpai. To make friends with people who have the same interests as you whom you wouldn't meet otherwise.

>> No.9767717

Looks like you beat me in making this thread first.

I want to make new friends by striking up conversations with random strangers.
But I'm scared that it wouldn't work out and I'd end up wandering alone rambling to countless people.
I'm also concerned if I do find success it turns out the person I'm socializing with is in high school.
I don't want to be an old creep since I'm 22.
Any advice?

>> No.9767760

>old creep
Lol, just pick where you strike up your conversations if you want to avoid high schoolers. E.g. At a carded night event rather than the line to an SU panel

>> No.9767788

I'm 29 and go to cons for sex regularly.

>> No.9767907

Nobody wants to make friends with non Chad males, anon

>> No.9767925

Depending on what cons you go to could be potential for meetup and makin friends with people even here desu

>> No.9767932

>old creep

tfw 30 and all my friends grew up but me

>> No.9768586
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are you me?

>> No.9768633

I go alone every year, and meet tons of new people every year, and meet up with people I've met years prior. It's fun.

Tbh better going alone. You have to be willing to socialize though. You don't have to push yourself. Take it slowly.

P.s I'm not even a cute girl.

>> No.9768677

>having friends

>> No.9768692

Well thanks for putting in some perspective.
I haven't been to a con for 4 years so I was imagining the worst case scenario.
I'm confident about going now.

>> No.9769694

I go to cons alone a lot

>> No.9771329

Yes, i went to a comic convention alone once and while in line to get stuff signed I played cards with some cool people. We swapped info and now I see them at cons or on facebook all the time.

>> No.9773996
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i mean i met my boyfriend at a con meetup about a year ago. cons are great places to meet people and make friends, although it doesn't always work out. what really helps a lot is seeing if there are any meetups at a con you're going to for any online community you're in. it's a great way to make friends/etc in ways that may surprise you. most of my irl friends now are either directly people i met at con meetups or are people i met because they were friends, friends of friends, etc of people i became friends with at con meetups.

you can't expect to hit a home run any given con, especially not your first con, but if you go to a con or two a year and make an effort to find people to meet up with and you keep in touch with them after the con you'll in time make a lot of great friends and maybe even partners

>> No.9774091

If you're a cute girl, you can hang out with me!

>> No.9774273

I'm not a girl and only gay guys have called me cute
Sorry anon

>> No.9774481

I often only go to buy merch/art and watch panels, socializing with others is entirely optional. Rarely will I take photos unless I really like someone's cosplay or want to record a panel moment.

It also depends on the con because some cons have really wonderful people and others have really shitty people, all in my experience ofc. Depends entirely on your experience and level of judgmentality, mine's pretty high now after experiencing burnout.

>> No.9774555
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>gay guys have called me cute

>> No.9774998
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Just moved to a new country and left all my friends behind. I'm trying to find new possible friends here but everytime i get too scared i'm going to mess up badly because of language barrier or something dumb

How can i stop being a shy autist and strike some friendos?

>> No.9775279
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What are you implying, friend?

>> No.9775984
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I don't really have any good advice, but can I ask what country?
Lots of people are just happy to see you learning their language (except Spanish speakers)

>> No.9775989

>Should I even go to cons if I have no friends?
I feel ya OP. Go regardless, if you can make a thread here you're at least a step above me. I bet you'll be fine

>> No.9777310

cons are really good for girls!

>> No.9777313
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fucking hell anon calm down

>> No.9780202

Go to the /cgl/ meet up and offer to host an after party

>> No.9780511

Last year I've been to like 6 cons, 4 of which was completely solo. I didn't wear cosplay.
I've made tons of friends, in fact, it was actually really easy to make friends. (Almost as easy as agreeing on what someone else says). It would go from just a regular conversation to straight up being invited into random people's groups and hanging around with them for a few hours. By the end of the con, I'd be familiar with a sizable amount of people and get a lot of new contacts. And it wasn't just some con encounter never talk again type of deal. It lasts.

>> No.9780544

So you're female or decently attractive?

>> No.9780566

My best experiences at cons were when I was alone and free after friends never wanted to do anything, but maybe just I'm a total introvert who wants to do things my way :3

>> No.9780575

Fully agree with this. As long as you aren't a 100% sperg and have booze to offer; people will be receptive to a room party.

>> No.9781075

I have over 100 con/cosplay "friends" and only 5 evolve to real friends.

Also this! I am introvert too.

>> No.9781100


>> No.9781124

cgl meet ups are notoriously cringey, turns out we're all a bunch of awkward weebs

>> No.9781133

mmm how does someone go about deepening a friendship?

>> No.9781139

i agree with you. it always makes me very sad when i feel my relationship with someone hitting it's expiration date. it inevitably ends up fading out, and you might still talk afterwards but it's just not the same.

>> No.9781193
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that's a hard one! I'm from that very same fattytopia, and people are either completely fine with foreigners or they're fulfilling all of the stereotypes you'd expect. Ironically, I've gotten shit on by people for looking like a foreigner in the hometown I've lived my whole life.

There are definitely fine people to meet in the US, but they're hard to find. Our popular culture is an absolute sewage dump right now, so most of the sane people avoid large public situations, to avoid the lunatics that have grown up in the past ~60 years, completely unbound by any ideas of good manners or common decency. Our public places are basically wilderness zones populated by these foul monsters we call countrymen. And the people that have become terribly introverted on the other hand are barely any better, having avoided social situations so long that we're all socially broken (me). I feel ya, cos that's tough with a language barrier in the mix
(pic related, and prooobably isn't enough for me to get banned, right)

>> No.9781291

>except Spanish speakers


>> No.9782089

that's kind of an easy jab since i'm a native Spanish speaker myself, but I've found it true. Spanish speakers are apprehensive of foreigners speaking Spanish, while Russians, Japanese or Dutch always seem thrilled to see a foreigner that's studied / speaking their language.
I don't think it's a super bad thing (or super unexpected), since Spanish speakers are bound to run into Americans eager to exercise their one year of high school-level Spanish

>> No.9785404

Is this really possible?! In my country the cosplay girls are pretty prudish or already in a relationship.

>> No.9785419

It really depends on the con. I've never done any west coast, but I've done plenty of east coast and I'd say its average 90% regular people and maximum 10% spergs. Most of the spergs are too socially inept to actually meet up with a group of people.

>> No.9786006

I've gone twice and never made any friends. The closest I came to making a friend was doing the CIA power stance with some random guy across a crosswalk with a red light. How is it even possible to approach people? must be nice being a normalfriend

>> No.9786057
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>Want to do a /cgl/ meetup
>Am an Ausfag
>Aus cosplay community is an enormous drama flinging shitfest and it'd be impossible

I'm genuinely considering moving.

>> No.9786894

Are there any good places or panels to meet con friends at? How would you even start a conversation with a total stranger?

>> No.9786934

You quietly mention their cosplay or something about anime, they say what, you fuck up while repeating it, they get confused, then you just try to leave because you already fucked up the conversation because you're boring and ugly hence no friends

>> No.9787011

Go to a panel you like and try talking to the person next to you. They probably went there because they like the subject or just got dragged there.

I've had conversations with people at a hentai booths because i was reading the descriptions on the back of the dvds out loud. I gave recommendations to some dudes and exchanged info with a nice girl

>> No.9787449
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>Buddy flakes on Anime Boston
>I already bought an airbnb for the weekend
>Live like 40 minutes away and wouldn't have bought it just for myself
Whatever. It's like a vacation, but lonelier and right next to where I live

>> No.9787464

>rambling to countless people
basically me at the last con I went to, except I was drunk

>> No.9788395

teach me master

>> No.9788400
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Yes. Cons were where I got friends.

Just don't be an asshole.

>> No.9789234

Honestly, it's not hard to make friends at cons, at least at the smaller cons, in the big ones everyone seems to be in their own groups and not very social with people outside of them.

>> No.9789272
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It's might seem shitty, but cons are funner when you are alone. Depending on which one you're participating and how many events there are, you'll want to go at your own space to enjoy all the shit there, and you won't have to skip some fun shit because your friends want to do other stuff instead

The best way to do cons when you got buds is to separate yourselves for shit you want to do, and come together for events you all want to see with each others. Also going to eat together and talking it out is the funnest shit, especially if there's no event nobody wants to see at the moment

Imagine if you had to wait several hours just because your friends wanted to get some autographs. You'd waste some serious precious time just because you didn't want to be alone and enjoy lots of other shit

>> No.9790550
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>I'm 29 and go to cons for sex regularly

>> No.9790653
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Ever since going to cons and doing stuff by myself, I've been having way more of a memorable time. Only problem is that people may want to stick together at all times but you can just try and convince them.

>> No.9790669

I actually made friends at cons but the problem is the kind of people you meet at cons and on 4chan are not good at all.
Lots of heavy trans drama, alcoholism, discussions of suicide, daddy issues and begging for money from the girls you meet.

Overall you can meet people at cons but you should take a long look for the to see if you should

>> No.9790691

What's usually the best day to go for one day? Saturday?

>> No.9790827

What's the problem? Be attractive and cosplay, plus have some money to throw around.

>> No.9790832

If you're going by yourself then Friday or Sunday are the best days to go. Saturday is the worst because you'll see all the happy couples and groups of friends all around you and you'll be miserable wishing you had that. Friday allows you to get all the limited goods in the dealers hall, and if you don't care about that, then Sunday is your go to day (Usually cheaper anyways)

>> No.9790836

Yep. Sunday blows unless there’s an event you like or you like bargain merchandise

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