/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>20194661
Pic related

/thread
OP btfo

>>20120612

>>20042974
BASTE

>mogs your cooking channel with recipes and ingredients even NEETs can sometimes afford after sucking off a hobo in an alley

foodwiIIIISShes daught cahm. Afterall, you are the chicken tenders of the money lenders.

>>19764846
Chef John from foodwishes.com
https://www.youtube.com/@foodwishes

It is necessary that I should die for my people; but my spirit will rise from the grave and the whole world will know I was right

>>19388513
they are the greatest culinary invention god gaves us, with a dash of cayenne.

>>19358963
>and by the way just for the record
>he ruins his videos with his voice
>you know that repetitive, robotic cadence
>I mean he's like an AI
>and I honestly don't know who the fuck talks like that
>but I guess he's made it a gimmick at this point
>because surely he's aware that he's saying EVERY sentence in the exact same way
>and I honestly just fucking hate the way he talks
>but anyway thaaat's it
>and what I'm calling "anon's shitpost" is done!

>tfw I add a little bit of cayenne powder to my gravy

>>19298711
You're joking, right? You know it's our boi Chef John.gkwtg

From FoodWishes.com with... Your momma! That's right, instead of me or her cooking for you, we'll be cooking together. And I'll start by giving her the old poke-a poke-a until she's good and wet before we-

>adds a dash of cayenne in your path

>>19024103
>Hello this is Chef Joooohn from Foooood Wishes dot com wiiiiiiith... this fucking faggot. That's right! The first post has once again turned out to be the worst post. And while we won't hold that against them... sometimes you just crave hot, succulent peeeenis. I know my wife does. And so do I from time to time. But if you want to write better posts... that's up to you. You are after all the Stevie Nicks... of sucking down dicks. But anyway let's give this one the ollllllllll' shaka shaka. And maybe a little of the tappa tappa. And that's it! We're doooone! I really hope you do give this a try soooon! And as alllllwaaayyyyys....enjooooy!

>>18604136
Watch as many food wishes videos as you can stomach every day

Doesn’t hold a candle to the king

>>17969258
He said it doesn't matter if steak is at room temperature before cooking, which made me lose all respect for him
he also overdoes his french accent to seem more LE FRENCH = GOOD CHEF

food wishes bros we're still winning

>Doesn't shove his face in the camera
>Doesn't use overpriced ingredients (Still can't believe that curly haired glasses wearing dickhead unironically told people to buy a gallon of duckfat for deep frying hashbrowns)
>Gets right into the cooking, no stupid ads or sponsors or memes
>Literally all of his recipes are great
Chef John, the undisputed king of foodkino

Hello this is Chef John from FoodWishes.com and today I am going to rape you! That's right, I've received many food wishes to find out where you live and rape you, which I've decided to try out since just prior to coming over here I decided to kill my wife. We're going to use many of the elements and implements I used to accomplish that, which means by the time we're done here we're going to end up with you losing your will to live. So into get started we're going to pry open this window and sneak into your bedroom... to which we're going to add some butcher's twine, a few sharp knives and some worchestershire sauce. After this we're going to spread your awaiting anal cavity, which we're going to bring to a simmer and ensure is gaping & fully-prepared so that it doesn't clamp down on us... and to that we're going to drizzle a generous heaping of anal lube, followed by a pinch of salt and some fresshhly ground black pepper. Then we're going to carefully apply my waiting cock... which ideally you want to let reach room temperature before applying to your asshole, but in this case I was feeling particularly sadistic so I just stuffed it in there. And while that's thrusting away we're going to cook one cup of rice, which we've cleaned and seasoned generously with (((kosher))) salt, after which we'll stuff into your mouth and cover with tape to ensure you can't scream out in agony. You never really want your rape victim to get too rambunctious because while you're having fun everyone is bound to make way too much noise, which we want to avoid... then after about 30 minutes we're going to preheat our oven to 500 degrees, and turn on all the burners, which will allow us to get rid of all the evidence once we're through. The heat can vary however. You are, after all, no longer the Cassidy Cole of your gaping colorectal hole. And just like that, our faggot 4chan poster has been raped! I really recommend you try this alongside a shootout with the police and a few biscuits.

He is.

>>17369846

cayenne of course :^)

>>16959901
the ol' tappa tappa

Most overrated yt cooking channel. Babish might be a soiboy but he craps all over John in terms of cooking skills.