/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I'm deeply sympathetic towards vegans. I understand their plight, their suffering, their martyrdom for the animals. My best friend has been a vegan for 6 years. I started noticing that he got super skinny (anorexia level), his hair started falling out, and his dental health worsened by year two. So I decided to help him.

Since we work together I started bringing food in for both of us. I feed him my "special muffins". I add a butt load of lard to the recipe. I give him my "special potato crisps" (cooked in duck fat) with "vegan mayo" (actually keto mayo).

He doesn't have to know, because he wouldn't understand - he's a vegan, you see, out to save the animals, not realizing that his body needs animal fats and protein. This way both of us can have a clear conscience: he can save the animals, and I won't let a friend die of malnutrition.

I noticed his condition improving in a week. Now he gained some weight and his hair stopped thinning, turning gray, and falling out. One day he'll thank me.

I'm looking for more "special" recipes, if I know what I mean. Feeding him lard muffins and chips all the time is boring (for him to eat, and for me to cook).