/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>10042532
How do I into beans? Im trying to lose some weight and I figure they're a good alternative to a lot of the crap I eat. What beans do I buy? Hoe to prepare them? How do I incorporate them into a meal/what to pair them eith?

>>10042532
I have a fucking mouse in my kitchen and he is squeaking loud a s fuck. I have set up four traps with smooth peanut butter and he has not taken the bait. Is this fucking mouse a chunky elitist.

>>10042550
I haven't managed to hack dry beans, myself, probably because I'm retarded, but if you like burgers, you should try black bean burgers, using canned black beans. Shit's delicious, lower calorie than beef, and you can actually taste the burger mix before you shape it into patties without dying, if you're new to cooking/seasoning things.

You can find recipes online easily. I will say that I prefer pan-frying them to baking them, because they seem to stay together better and get a better crust.

>>10042532
What kind of leftovers? I think it depends. Like, you're supposed to put a bit of water on leftover rice.

>>10042532
>not having at least 4 quarts of homemade unflavored chicken stock on hand at all times, in addition to reduced and flavored demiglace cubes with seasonings appropriate to the types of food you usually cook
>not having knorr stock cubes on hand for when you run out of homemade stock
>not having a case of both red and white table/cooking wine ready to go for all of your wine needs
>not just pouring some of your beer into the leftovers

>>10042550
>dry great northern beans
>soak overnight
>cut some pork shoulder into lil cubes (you don't need too much, half a pound of pork to two pounds of beans or even less)
>slow cook for several hours in homemade chicken stock w/ thyme rosemary diced onion and garlic and probably some white wine or some shit
you can use canned but it's not nearly as good.

>>10042561
Mice don't squeak until they're extremely comfortable with their living situation. It must have gained access to a pretty exciting stash of food, which would explain why it's uninterested in your spots of peanut butter in isolated locations. You need to figure out what it's eating and make sure it can't get anything else.

You could also irritate it with peppermint scents, ammonia scents, or those superfrequency sound emmiters until it leaves. Don't use the last option if you have pets.

can someone give me a panko onion rings recipe or just a normal onion ring recipe that they have used

Is coffee brewed from a moka pot considered espresso?

What kind of pasta besides good ol' spaghetti goes good with meat sauce and nothing else? Bowtie noodles don't have a strong enough flavor or texture for meat sauce in my opinion.

>>10042770
No.

Sure it's a small cup of strong coffee, but espresso has to be brewed under a certain amount of bars of pressure, in order to create stuff like the crema layer on top.

>>10042790
All of them. Take your pick.

Whats a good tea to start with

>>10044827
Yorkshire Gold

what does bay leaf actually provide in terms of flavor to a dish? I only ever see it used in like long braised or stewed meat dishes, and it seems like the single leaf can't possibly be enough to do whatever it's supposed to do.

should I use it in non-meat dishes? I'm just really confused since everything around it is just a "people always put bay leaves in stews so you gotta do it too lol"

How do I dispose of oil used for deep frying?

>>10044883
keep a separate plastic container for it and bring it to your local restaurant once it's full; they have to dispose of theirs as well and it's nominal to just throw yours in with the lot

>>10044850
Simmer a bay leaf in water for an hour and then taste the water.

>>10045500
This. If you ever want to know the flavor qualities of an herb, just do this. Then you'll have to extrapolate with something called *gasp* imagination (if you're a millennial disregard because you don't have one) to determine how it will meld with the other ingredients in your dish.

>>10042532
For cookies you put a brownie or other moist kind of pastry in the jar to keep them moist.
Otherwise a little water at the bottom of the container and the lid on when reheating it will go a long way

>>10042550
90% of beans are simply soak overnight and simmer for 30-40 minutes. Don't use the same water you soaked them in as it has stuff in it that leeches out if the beans that gives you bad gas (soaked beans give you less gas because of this). Cook them in stock or with a pork hock for flavor. Use them for soups and over rice obviously. Things like chickpea and white beans can be pureed into a paste and eaten like hummus.

>>10042550
Pasta e faglioli is a fantastic, comfy recipe. I make it with dried beans, but you could use canned in a pinch.

Excluding any type of milk, what are the best and cheapest sources of calcium?

>>10047153
Fish, sardines are good in this regard I think
Salmon is full of vit d, you should consider it

>>10042532
Is it possible to make chicken tenders without breadcrumbs? Just with a flour coating?

>>10047153
The sun.
Dairy products in general (cheese, yoghurt).
Fish.

>>10048863
Yes.
You might want to season the coating a bit with whatever you like too.

>>10042790
My family uses linguine. There are tons you can use. I can't remember lots of names but there's papardelle and Angel hair

>>10042770
No, it's burned. The water is too hot and the pressure is way too low to be espresso.

>>10042561
>I have a fucking mouse in my kitchen and he is squeaking loud a s fuck. I have set up four traps with smooth peanut butter and he has not taken the bait. Is this fucking mouse a chunky elitist.
Buy that cheap summer sausage, smellier the better. Smoked bacon, sausage, etc, and bait the traps with that. Always throw out a trap ASAP, because any witnesses on the death and carnage trains the other mice to stay away from the trap. If you hear a snap or a noise in the night, get out of bed and get that mice gone! If they're still living and suffering, drop the whole thing into a garbag can of water to die right away, and dispose of it later. Never reuse a trap, fresh and new and no scents on the wood or trap for the next victim.

>>10048863
Yes use corn starch and seasoning with a little flour mixed in (like 1 cup flour to 4 cups corn starch). They won't be breaded obviously but they fry up nice and have a bit of crunch without absorbing all the oil. It's what I use when I make wings usually to crisp things up.

what's the white rubbery thing in the middle of a chicken breast?

Sometimes when I'm cooking the smoke detector goes off. But the food isn't burned. What's going on?

what happens if i make sushi with medium grain rice?

not trying to make authentic $400 jiro sushi. just something that tastes alright.

>>10048944
Can you recommend me a decent recipe to use for chicken tenders without breading? I was just going to do egg->flour+seasoning->bake in oven, will that work?

>>10049738
I've used medium, it's okay. Might be a bit messier to eat.

>>10049651
If it's a chicken breast with the tender still attached, then it's a tendon. Otherwise, probably just a piece of fat.

>>10049912
>I was just going to do egg->flour+seasoning->bake in oven, will that work?
Yes, but pour a little melted butter or oil onto the pan and over the top or flip them halfway through, otherwise the flour will stay dry/gummy.

>>10049679
Sometimes fat or oil will go to spots on the pan where there isn't much food and start to smoke, especially if you're broiling or baking at high temperatures where you aren't stirring the food around like you would in a pan.

Or, you're cooking with low smoke point oils like extra virgin olive oil and need to use something with a higher smoke point like canola oil, peanut oil, or ghee/clarified butter.

How long should I boil water?

>>10050018
Until it boils

>>10050018
Until it stops boiling

>>10044827
Pu'er

>>10050031
>>10050037
But how do you tell when it boils?
Ummmmm Big or little bubbles?

Does soy actually have negative effects with estrogen? I don't eat a lot of it in the first place but the /pol/ meme has made me intrigued.

>>10050129
no, it doesn't

When making pot roast, how do I keep all my vegetables from getting all mushy?

Also, how do I choose a good wine for deglazing? I don't know much about wine.

If I dont have a tulip glass for IPA beers, does a wine glass serve the purpose just as well?

Can I just mix some apple cider with vinegar instead of buying apple cider vinegar?

>>10050878
No, but you could substitute it with white wine vinegar or just plain white vinegar.

>>10042550
Here's a great starter recipe:
1. Get a bag of dried pinto beans
2. Quick soak them (put them in a pot of water, bring to a boil, then let sit for an hour)
3. After an hour, start simmering on low with some more water added
4. Add 1tbsp of lard (or vegetable oil if you can't find it), 1-2 bay leaves, a pinch of brown sugar or less white sugar (or to taste), lots of garlic in your preferred preparation (or garlic powder), finely-chopped fried onions or non-fried if you're lazy (optional), salt and pepper to taste, cayenne powder or chili powder, whatever else you want
4.5. Add a dash of cheap beer if you want
5. Wait until beam water simmers down to a thick consistency of your liking
6. Enjoy! Tastes good as a side and/or with tortillas

Is expired stovetop stuffing safe to eat?

>>10045659
>Don't use the same water you soaked them in as it has stuff in it that leeches out if the beans that gives you bad gas
If you eat beans regularly this won't happen though, your digestive bacteria will adjust and it'll be like any other food. The same thing can happen if you eat a lot of raw sauerkraut.

>>10051341
Probably, if the date on the package just says "best by" then it's only a date for you to know when the product starts losing some of its flavor or texture, but it's still perfectly safe to eat.

>>10051366
That's what I thought. I don't think there is any ingredient in there that would go really bad after only a year.

>>10050129
It's a meme. But a powerful one that people believe to be true.

>>10051341
should be, it's just bread crumbs and seasoning. I don't really see how it could go bad unless it got damp and moldy

>>10042561

Get the types of traps that are the one way in, no way out traps, not the ones that slice them in half.
use cheese.

>>10044827

My favorite is English Breakfast Black Tea.

>>10044883
Pour it down the drain while running cold water.

>>10050806
Roast the vegetables separately or put them later in the cooking time

Is there a way to make meal prepping interesting? Trying to lose weight so I make chicken breasts, basmati rice and broccoli sets that lasts me 4 or 5 days while I'm in school but I feel like I'm slowly losing getting sick of it.

>>10050068
Big

>>10050129
being fat is harder on your testosterone levels than any amount of food.
Fat pretty much eats T.

>>10042550
I love beans and often eat them as a meal without anything else. I usually get dried pinto beans, soak them overnight in a good amount of water (enough to cover by a couple inches), then put them in the crock pot the next day. Use any spices you like. Cook on low all day.

>>10042790
Bolognese, the king of meat sauces, pairs extraordinarily well with homemade tagliatelli. For store bought, ziti will do you well.

>>10044883
Keep leftover glass/plastic containers and pour in the cold oil. Absolutely never pour it down the drain unless you love outrageous plumber bills.

>>10052456
Get into hot sauces?

>>10049651
The sternum. Its cartilage. You have one as well.

>>10051956
do not do this

lads, when i make tea now, it tastes awful.
nothing has changed, i boil my water, brew it, toss in a teaspoon of sugar and a splash of milk.
i use english breakfast, earl grey or peppermint.
ive tried using a different pot but it still tastes bad, should i just omit the milk?

Why are cheeseburgers bad for you? I mean they have vegetables, so are they really that bad?

>>10042636
grind panko first.

Slice onions 1/4in wide first.

batter = milk with flour to thicken. salt, pepper, cayenne, garlic granules

flour onions, batter, panko, fry.

Hot seller

>>10052836

Might be the water.

>>10052847
It's the grease from the meat, but if drained right it's not bad for you at all.

>>10042561

are carrot fries good?

they're a starchy vegetable like potatoes.

>>10054485
I've roasted carrots until they looked just like that. They are good, but nothing at all like fries.

Can I substitute fresh cilantro in guacamole with dried cilantro or should I just skip it if I don't have fresh? I just realized I don't have any fresh cilantro and don't want to waste 45 minutes running to the store.

Important question
I'm getting an induction plate for my dorm room, whats a good brand to go for?

I'm eating almost exclusively fast food but I wanna start eating better. I hate cooking, can barely boil eggs.
What are some "easy but healthy" meals I can get away with?

>>10054700
imo cilantro loses pretty much all its flavor when dried,

>>10056291
>>>/fit/
These lads know all about healthy eating
The sticky probably has info too

What chilis do you guys use when making chili? Last time I used Ancho and Guajillo, but it came out a little fruity and I guess sweet? I think it was the Guajillo that did it since I usually like Anchos, not sure what I should put in with the Anchos this time. Or if you know better than me just whatever you use.

>>10057614
I love em all. Try serrano, jalapeño, habanero if you like it spicy.

why does butter absorb the flavors of my fridge?

i can't keep an open stick of butter or else it tastes like fridge air

>>10057874
It's just what fat does. I keep my sticks in the little compartment in the door and they never pick up any flavors though. You can try keeping an open box of baking soda to neutralize it.

>>10057864
I meant for dried chilis to roast and grind into it, I usually use serrano's and a little habanero as well but the dried chilli's make the flavor really interesting.

>>10057966
Aha, I read it too quick. I have used pasilla as well, might try those. Here's an article with some more info:

http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/01/how-to-clean-and-prepare-dried-chilies-chili-powder-substitute.html

>>10048944
>calcium
>the sun
Nigger what?

Why does this thread exist if Google also exists?

>>10048863
Flour -> egg-> flour again creates a really nice coating. Reminds me of the McDonald’s chicken selects. Season the flour how you like. I fry em, but you could spray with oil and bake, flip halfway down and spray the other side to get them somewhat crispy

I'm experimenting with a cake recipe, and the most recent batch was good, but very dense, almost bread-like.
How does one make a cake less dense? More baking powder?

>>10058912
How long should it go in the oven for, and at what temperature?

>>10058306
camaraderie of like-minded folks

>>10060341
>More baking powder?
maybe. post recipe.

>>10060403
Well, the original recipe is http://allrecipes.com/recipe/84857/ono-butter-mochi/
It turned out just fine when I followed it.

But I was interested in whether the rice flour could be substituted 1:1 for regular flour, because if it could, then I was going to try making a batch with 50/50 rice flour and regular flour, because I think the texture would be interesting.
So I tried making a batch with all regular flour instead of rice flour, and it worked, but the cake it produced was overly dense. I'd like to get the texture closer to that of a normal cake before I try mixing some rice flour in. Otherwise it might just become a more grainy version of the original recipe, without much other textural difference.

I'm making weed edibles, and I don't want the finished product to taste like chlorophyll. Will blanching the bud beforehand get rid of the smell/taste, or is it just a meme?

>>10060455
Your best bet to mitigate the weed taste is to find a flavor that masks it well. You won't be able to treat the weed prior to to remove it's natural flavor.

>>10060431
you may have just over-mixed the batter. you generally do not want to mix wheat flour and water too much in a cake because it will form gluten like in bread. i'd use the 50-50 mix, and then barely stir the batter just until the flour disappears, like you're making muffins or quick bread. if that didn't work, then i'd increase the baking powder.

going to the store. quick, suggest me an easy to make, interesting dish to buy ingredients for

>>10060607
Alright, I'll try that, thanks.

I haven't taken a shit in over 48 hours and I'm really starting to get worried
I sucked down a bunch of dried apricots and water which normally makes me shit a huge log, I've tried walking, jogging, sprinting, squatting nothing is making my bowls move. What should I do?

Is Jack a satire/paradoy of cooking channels, or is he serious? I don't believe anyone is actually that bad while trying, it must be a joke

>>10061074
he is absolutely serious

>>10061102
What the ever loving hell. What was the point of the ketchup mixture?

>>10061102
What the fuck is in the skillet?

>>10061022
Do you smoke? If not buy a box of cigarettes, go for marlboro reds or something else "full flavor", and smoke until you shit. I've almost literally felt my bowels loosen while smoking a cigarette in the morning

should I put my dorayaki in the microwave? Or is it heresy

>>10061022
Get totally shitfaced. The principle is the same as any stool softener. Except more fun

>>10061555
who cares about being a heritic? try it and if you like it, then keep on keepin on

I routinely "cook" totinos pizzas in the microwave

>>10061022
Nicotine, caffeine, prunes, over-the-counter laxatives. The possibilities are endless.

Every time I see someone make a recipe including garlic and onions, I see them put both in first in some hot oil. It seems like I always burn my garlic over the course of the onions carmelizing, though. Is my heat too high or does the garlic need to go in later or what?

>>10061642
>Prunes
These are nature's laxatives, you need to eat at least 100 grams to see the effect though. Make sure to drink lots of water to ease the process. Prunes cleaned me up pretty good from a very long constipation streak. It was recommended to me by anons here.

>>10061662
>These are nature's laxatives
And a warrior's drink

>>10061659
garlic goes in later, as you've found out it burns easily

>>10061659
Add the fucking garlic later. Also most recipes don't call for caramelized onions.

>>10050837
How many beers have you had?

>>10058306
Maybe people want real advice and not a ton of spammy shit?

>>10060455
Make butter out of the weed, then use the butter in your baking.

Can I boil and simmer beans with simular cooking time in the same pot ? e.g. black beans & kidney beans or do I need to have seperate pots?

>>10061662
>>10061642
Did more squats at work today, ate the greasetruck chicken with red sauce that routinely gives everyone in the office mild diarrhea, been drinking and pissing constantly, drinking coffee now. I've been cutting grains out of my diet recently, eating mostly vegetable for fiber and some meat/eggs and occasionally fasting to try to lose weight, maybe there just isn't as much mass as my old gluttonous diet? I'll report back if I end up in the hospital with an obstructed bowel.

>>10062351
Telling you man.
Alchoshits.
Work everytime

>>10062351
Report back after the prunes. Wish you the best of health. Make sure your toilet has a good flush.

>>10062378
it doesn't

>>10062351
I'm going to tell you a story of the time I didn't poop for like a week.
I hadn't pooped for a few days. Every day, I'd sit on the shitter and strain. Just to hopefully do something. I'd feel my asshole pucker up. Nothing would come out. But I could feel its coming. My efforts had awoke something in the deep.
The next time I sat on the porcelain throne, I strained and strained. Legs were shaking. A vein on my forehead was pulsing.
And then something slid into my rectum from within. Something hard. Something evil. It was time for it to leave, but it would not leave taking its toll of pain, sweat, and eventually blood.
I grabbed my knees and pushed it out in waves. Breathing like a woman in labour.
When the moment came, I pushed for a solid minute. No breathing, just pure intestinal pressure. And then something popped.
Thankfully, it wasn't my heart. There a new member of the family sitting in the bowl. A sphere the size of medium sized apple. I had to wait a few minutes to finish. The afterbirth was just chocolate soft-serve. When I went to wipe, there was blood. The demon had gotten what it wanted.

>>10062443
I've had similar, where I can't poop for a couple days, or have to go but fall asleep without going and can't until the next night. It's big, too big, so my anus acts like a lathe, trimming the log down to size so it can get through, the "shavings" follow, it's horrible. I've learned to drink alot when this happens because the large intestine exists to reclaim water and this makes the shit dry and hard, but it can't do this if the outside has similar concentrations of water as the inside. Mugwart leaf tea stops this process entirely, I found from experience. Too bad none of it has sprouted yet

Just had a microdump, but I stuffed my face at a buffet Saturday, ate normally Sunday and today. There's no way all that has been compacted into this, I'm not letting my tract pass with a D-. I just downed 133g of prunes and a second mug of coffee. I may not go to work tomorrow.

>>10062593
>. Mugwart leaf tea stops this process entirely, I found from experience. Too bad none of it has sprouted yet
Also alcohol. Your large intestine absorbs water through osmosis. Water gradients. If you drink something that's full foreign chemicals that don't go into your blood stream, you'll start pulling water out of your body and into your gut.
It's how stool softeners work.

If you drink enough to get fucked up, enough alcohol stays in your gut to pull out water. Which causes the alchoshits

I just moved out and I don't really know how to make food that isn't just "put shit in the microwave". What do?

>>10062942
It's really pretty easy.
The hardest part is gaining confidence.

When I moved out, what I made was basically what I hate as a kid. Which wasn't too complicated. Spaghetti sauces. Chilis. Stir fry. Casseroles.
Totally easy.

The biggest bit of advice I can give you is don't be afraid to make mistakes. I'm not saying go nuts and fuck up all the time, but try things even if you aren't sure. You'll learn.

Starter pack is
Big non-stick pan
10+ gallon pot
Chef's knife
Cutting board
Regular spices

You can make anything with that.

how do I cook eggs sunnyside up?

>>10063134
Lower temps and patience

>>10057874
Ya ever heard of a butter tray

>>10062942
Try putting food in the microwave.

>>10042532
I want to grind some coffee beans for my parents every day so they have fresh grounds, is it possible to store fresh ground coffee in an airtight container right after grinding and still have it maintain freshness for a few hours? I read that coffee loses most of its aroma and flavor 40s after grinding.

>>10061451
i's a "celery balsamic reduction"

>>10062942
graduate to put shit in a wok and saute it with soy sauce, vinegar, garlic and ginger
it's fast and works on any combination of vegetables and optional meat. you have to cut up the meat into bite size pieces first obviously.

>>10044850
bay leaf in tomato soup is fucking GOAT, that's about the best advice I can give beyond
>>10045500

How much money do you have to put out for a decent pestle and mortar that won't fleck into your food? I don't really plan on getting one soon, just for future reference

>>10064268
If you're pretentious enough to want to use a motar and pestle you must be well off enough to blow a 1000 dollars on genuine greek marble shit

>>10064273
What do you recommend using then?

>>10064501
Knife and board.
Like a regular person

Bought myself some udon noodles some time ago for memes, and I also have an unopened bottle of sake. What easy to make dish could I make out of these?

>>10064268
You can get a decent motor and pestle for $10 at any Hispanic grocery store, third world countries use them they aren't 'rich people tools' like an immersion cooker or vitamix/Ninja blenders
It's literally cheaper than most toasters.
Any kind will do generally but you have to season it enough it doesn't flake into your food it's not hard it is just grinding 5 or so things in order from hard to soft in the pestle and letting it dry a day (it also should fill in any cracks/crevasses to make the pestle smooth. Think it was rice/unsoaked dry beans, paper garlic whole, some spices that you use alot like fennel, fenugreek, cumin. Mexicans have a specific list of things in a special order for traditionally seasoning it (think black beans, then it was more or less guac ingredients without the avo and coriander seeds)
You clean it similar to a cast iron in that it gets wiped out and gently washed but not scrubbed unless you want to reseason it. And you most likely only need to do this once desu.

I picked up a recipe bag from my local green grocer. It's chorizo soup with carrots, turnip, glarlic and onions. Anything coming to mind as to what I might be able to add to make it better?

>>10064273
>pretentious
The only people I've ever known who had a mortar and pestle in their kitchens were dirt poor. I have a wooden one. They're like $10-25.

>>10065654
I have a marble one and I make low six figures

What's your definition of "poor"?

Alternatives to Nutella in EU? What's your favourite chocolate spread?

>>10052456
Graduate into quitting meal prep

>>10065671
He doesnt know you.

>>10042532
how the fuck am I supposed to get pizza dough into a circle, or rectangle, or any sort of flat shape that isn't a sphere? I can push it down, but as soon as I lift my hands it bounces back to exactly how it was before. I don't have a rolling pin, is there any other way to do it without one?

>>10065646
Nevermind. It was delish with a bit of mild chilli powder and cumin. Would suggest lads.

>>10042532
>FILE DELETED
what does the janny have against retard wojack?

>>10066988
> flatten it down from a ball to a flat-ish 'puck'. use your hands and very firmly apply pressure
> place one palm firmly into the centre
> with other hand start pulling on the edges

you'll find the dough starts to flatten and lengthen out to desired thickness
getting a decent circle is all down to practice.

>>10067037
I think a can of hominy would be good in that soup.

>>10064602
Dang I didn't even know you can season them. Thanks anon

>>10062942
put shit in a frying pan
its really not that different. General rule of thumb is put it on medium heat

>>10061659
most of these recipes dont want you to caramelize onions, just cook them long enough to soften. Either put the garlic in later or dont cook the two so long.

Will I get in trouble if I get caught taking food from an all-you-can-eat buffet?

>>10069907
minimum 5 years