/ck/ - Food & Cooking

If you're gay, anything vegan will do the trick

>get laid
The truth is nobody ever does that. It's a lie invented by the elite to make you feel bad about yourself. People who say they've done it are perpetuating the lie because they're ashamed of not having done something they've been told they're supposed to do. Pornography is just special effects.

The reality is that incels are the only honest people in the world. It doesn't occur to them that they can lie about whether they've had sex or not. So they're estranged by the liars, because scapegoating the incels helps the liars pretend they're not incels themselves.

>>10931767
Agree
t. gullible person

>>10931741
don't know if this counts, but i eat soy products everyday, and my wife has had more action than she ever has before :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhoSJ5YLp1M

>>10931741
her favorite flavor of smoothie + her favorite fries, warm bakery items like chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon bagels

>>10931783
Do you usually prep the bull?

>>10931783
You forgot to put on your name, Nicholas.

>>10931767
damn did you tell /x/ about that one?

>>10931741
>eating in bed
>tattoos
>shitty American pizza
>dumb roastie and chad

Fucking degenerate

>>10931767
>>get laid
>The truth is nobody ever does that
explain how i came out of my mum's snatch then.

>>10931835
test tube babies

>>10931741
why did tattoos have to become a thing? theyre so ugly

>>10931835
Anon, you have to break the conditioning to live free and see clear. All of us are born in tubes. Who knows if you aren't still in there.

>>10931785
omfg ur videos r so random xD

>>10931846
Because dumb millenials think it makes them unique

>>10931767
dude what

>>10931741
rohypnol pudding

>>10932771
Because tattoos were invented <30 years ago, right?

Oh wait, no, people have been decorating their skin in various ways for as long as we've known how to make pigment.

>>10931846
It's a good way to know if a girl isn't worth your time.

>>10931767
Honestly it's pretty close to the Truth.
VERY VERY few people have regular sex, yet for some reason our culture places it in the center of everything.

>>10931834
>both of them are shitskins
Mutts...mutts never change

>>10931741
Why are they wearing clothes in bed?

>>10932806
Why is this board blue? Such mysteries...

>>10932792
>VERY VERY few people have regular sex

wrong

>>10931767
i believe this

>>10931741
Literally anything that requires even a remote amount of effort. Women are stupid.

>>10931741
Something that's regional to their birthplace and looks fancy. My gf is half korean, half israeli and she loves kimchi. I'm planning on making some steamed kimchi dumplings for her. Guaranteed to score some points with that

Home cooked pizza dates are great.

You need to know how to make kickass dough and sauce and she can just help with the easy things like cutting the toppings and placing them on the pizza.

She gets to feel like she participates, cooking together is fun and the great taste will make her feel good.

All in all perfect recipe for sex after

>>10932830
Shit, she doesn't even have to participate. GF gets horny just watching me knead dough.

>>10932833
It's better if you let her in on it. Remember you're the captain and she's your first mate

>>10932796
>Shitskins
Jesus anon, why don't you just tell the whole class that you've never seen a tan person in your entire life? The absolute state of NEETs.

>>10931741
Pasta puttanesca unironically

>>10931755
Nah I want to see how a man puts meat in his mouth before I put mine in

>>10931846
Unless you have a religious or legal reason to have your tattoos they're trashy as all hell

>>10931741
No food will ever get you laid.

I used to fuck my ex by buying her thai food

when I dropped out of college I started dating some high shool girl who would blow me for dollar chicken sandwitches

>>10931741
But food comes out of fuck hole as poop nonononoo

>>10931767
this post is now my life

>>10931835
special effects

>>10932792
incorrect

>>10932983
baseado

>>10931834
You forgot they are niggers.

>>10931767
blackpilled as fuck

>>10931844
>>10931849
The Brave New World is here, my niggas

>>10932792
>VERY VERY few people have regular sex, yet for some reason our culture places it in the center of everything.
Maybe because sex is literally required for the human race to continue existing...?

>>10932830
Yeah after cooking and eating, you’ll both feel tired and end up falling asleep

>>10933166
t. 300 pounds can't run a mile

>>10931806
This man understands women, pure carb machines.

>>10933173
I do regular exercise and I’m not even that fat, but sometimes I feel sleepy after eating

t. Pig

>>10931741
those two slices dont fit in that gap in the pizza

White girls:
-sushi
-high end italian
-Anyplace with hipster bullshit

Black girls:
-Fried chicken (I'm not even kidding this works almost every time)
-high end mexican
-classy chinese

Latinas
-Ask for their abuela to cook
-seriously that's my only advice because abuela knows how to throw down

Asians:
-Go find the closest michelin star and save up because you're going to need it

>>10931767
Absolutely based. Boys I think we have a scholar among us.

>>10933199
This
Have dated those races can confirm

>>10933185
Have some coffee
>inb4 but I can't sleep then!
Congrats, you now have the entire night to fug

>>10931741
Ice cream.

Just get a job as an ice cream truck driver and let a couple of the kids take a tour of the back.

>>10932791
This

>>10933196
based autism poster

>>10933199
>Black girls
>classy chinese
>high end mexican

What did he mean by this?

>>10932792
you're deluded, but there's nothing wrong with not getting laid all the time

>>10932786
Dumb millenial detected

>>10933255
They don't like raw fish because they're not stupid white girls but they also want to feel special and like you're taking them to an exotic place.

>>10931846

>>10931835
artificial insemination sweetie

>>10932792
>VERY VERY few people have regular sex
No, but for you it seems

>getting laid with spinach in your teeth
nice try, fgt

Pastrami

Fleshlight full of macaroons

>>10932792
>VERY VERY few people have regular sex
This is not even true
I have absolutely zero game and I have regular sex. Srs fellas u need to gain what we call a "personality", preferably one that is "interesting" and "not creepy"

And if you don't have that, just act like someone who does, they will never know the difference. No lie, I act like the dude from Before Sunrise on first dates and it usually works.

>>10932827
>Guaranteed to score some points with that
Ya anon you might even be able to finally put your willy in your mongrel gf (the tip)

>>10933196
These are the posts I come to this site for

>>10933199
this is true

>>10931741
Nothing to heavy or they are too full to fuck.

>>10931741
>eats her pussy
>tastes like pizza, fried chicken, greasy shitty poor peasant food
>not fucking healthy women instead

>>10932792
this is pretty much true. 1% of all couples have 99% of the kids.

>>10931767

Never have i cooked for a woman and not gotten my dick sucked. Usually sex too, but always a good blowjob.

Yor story is patently false; the issue youre running into is not being able to get a girl to come over to spend time with you alone in private. Youre probably verbally/socially off-putting, creepy, physically offensive, or a combination of all of the above somehow.

Making pasta is the easiest way to get it done. Looks impressive, is very easy.

>>10934574
The asian part in my experience is not true. My asian wife refuses to eat at any restauraunt, period, and is extremely frugal. Most native asian women, not the bastardized 2nd generation americanized wenches, are tight af with money.

>>10934672

Could you imagine a chinese jew?

>>10933199
>Black girls
>fried chicken

i REALLY want to do this after fucking a black hooker a few weeks ago. she was high AF.

how do i pick up black girls? walk around the ghetto looking for a big fat ass that matches my tastes? wont i look out of place if i dont dress like shit and have respectful manners?

bruh,ive gotten laid twice because or rice

>>10931741
It sure isnt spinach pizza.

>>10932847
>brown nipples
>light palms
No, they're shitskins alright.

>>10934672
>Most native asian women, not the bastardized 2nd generation americanized wenches, are tight af with money.
This is only true for Japs and the darker SEAmonkeys nowadays.
t. Chinaman

>>10931767
absolutely based

>>10931767

oh yeah?

>>10932792
Kind of true when you get married. Sexual congress reduces, and maturbation increases. Seems womyn suck you in with it, then withhold it for the slightest infractions as a control mechanism. Marriage is a tar pit leading to the extinction of the masculine male.

>>10933161
t. bluepilled shabbos goy

Take the COCKPILL and leave women behind

>>10933199
accurate
t. taking a black girl to fancy Malaysian restaurant in an hour

>>10931755
>>10931767
based

>>10931741
Making/ordering pizza, or making pasta is the best food to make when you first bring a girl home in the hopes of having sex later.

>>10933199
Unironically accurate. Southern Californian Asians will settle for white girl options though

>>10931741
>wearing clothes
>while eating
Lol fake.

>>10932836
LMAO i bet you read that on RSD forums

>>10932792
You'd be surprise.
I'm the only male in my work place. So the women I work with seemed normal at first but after a while they started relaxing around me and showed their true colors.
They're all hyper horny sluts that put in the polite good girl persona and hide their private lives well.
One girl has two sex friends (one male, one female) who she bangs once each a week and they have a threesome every week. She also plays with tinder and fucks 2-3 randoms a week. She's lived like this for years now. She's stopped even keeping count because the number of dicks she's had is easily close to a thousand.

>>10933199
You're wrong on Asians, unless you're taking about Americanized """"Asians""""" who are essentially just high maintenance white girls.
Actual Asians you take them to an izakaya or to a kushikatsu restaurant.

>>10931741
https://youtu.be/IBRL7D0wcXM

>>10931767
this is really shitty bait

or you're the saddest person on earth

>>10935228
More (You)'s than you ever had

>>10935228
It’s called a joke you mongoloid

>>10931741
>Whats some food that gets you laid?

I’ve never heard of a chick who wouldn't go for prime rib if its available, unless she's a veggie/vegan, in which case she's of no value anyway.

Dunno if that will get you laid, but chick do love their prime rib.

>>10933229
> Just get a job as an ice cream truck driver and let a couple of the kids take a tour of the back.
> let a couple of the kids take a tour of the back.
> take a tour of the back.

Cooking is for s*yb*ys.

>>10935782
look at this fucking faggot. too afraid to say soyboy. eat some meat, you piece of shit.

>>10931767
This is some good bait, it's just stupid/absurd enough that people want to respond to it but not serious enough that it really angers most people

>>10931741
crab leg dinner
Not sure why. Entertaining, fun to eat, and taste awesome probably have something to do with it.

This worked last night galontine chicken w kale onion garlic stuffing

>>10931767
this

>>10931767
This but unironically

>>10931767
Truth

>>10935841
Holy shit this looks good

>>10931767
Mostly true, only you forgot some shit for context. This is the single adult reality. Real life is lonely. Young and dumb people in their 20s (people who are still living in the fantasy world of pre-adulthood) suck and fuck all the time.

>>10931834
This guy has never and will never get with a woman

>>10931767
reddit on suicide watch

>>10931741
Bacon burger dogs.

This is an advanced level cosby joke.

> daddy's special cocktail

>>10937930
>> daddy's special cocktail

Like any typical black man, Cosby preferrs white women over blacks.

Poor black women... even black men don't want them.

>>10937950
>Like any typical black man, Cosby preferrs white women over blacks.
>Poor black women... even black men don't want them.

>>10937967

2nd column, 4th down

Pretty sure cosby had to drug himself for that one.

>>10933038
I get a feeling that post have been your life for some time by now

>>10937967

oof

And here I thought cosby had taste.

>>10931741
>Greasy pizza box just on top of the fucking bed
Only animals would do this.

>>10937930

Fuck your liberal #MeToo bullshit and just admit this is nothing more than a good old fashioned lynching of a powerful black man. The white cunt that tried to provide evidence produced nothing, and she was proven to be a blatant racist that just hated black people.

None of the other "victims" could produce any evidence or proof. They just couldn't stand seeing a black man become so successful in american media.

Just a good ol southern lynch mob. Nothing more.

>>10931767
Woah... So this is the true redpill. You truly are enlightened, anon. This makes so much sense. Thank you for this knowledge.

>>10931741
>fat nigress
of courrse

>>10939836
>degenerate druggies
why does everything need to be a 'pill'? fucking faggot just loves swallowing things

I'm a virgin and always will be

What should I eat, given that fact? What's the best food when women are literally irrelevant?

>>10931767
Denial: The Post.

>>10931741
Properly degreased pizza is guaranteed to get you laid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2A1qYpp4HA

>>10931741
roofies

>>10931834
Why is "roaste" supposed to be a bad word? roast beef is fucking delicious, kys neckbeard

>>10934744
everybody's asshole is pink though, so are white people assholeskins?

>>10942684
>everybody's asshole is pink though
This is incorrect

>>10932827
>My gf is half korean, half israeli
Jesus christ how disgusting.
Just imagining how fucked up your kids will be makes me sad

>>10932854
Salmon-spinach in my case. I wonder WTF is up with female sex drive and pasta.

>>10931767

>>10931767
Femanon here. This is so not true.

>>10944629
how long have you been a girl?

>>10934680
fuck you anon you made me kek

>>10934984
>t. cant get laid
faggot

Any time I've taken a girl from Tinder on a good old Olive Garden date, I've gotten something nice ;)

>>10931741
will cooking them a meal increase my odds

>>10944740
none of that sounds good

>>10931767
Is this a copy pasta because if not i love you.

>>10931741
Food is for making them stay, not for getting laid. But if one of my dishes was a panty-dropper, it would be my stir fry.

>>10944740
Based olive garden shill!

>>10934846
Funny to see people arguing both sides of this. I'm used to hearing people like Jordan Peterson complaining that promiscuous men are ruining the masculine male by taking all the women.

>>10944760
If they come to your house, it's a done deal anyway. Cooking them a meal before turning them into a finger puppet is just good manners

>>10932847
>taking the internet this seriously
Go be a nigger somewhere else

>>10931806
AS A socal Latino
I concur. its all about sealing the deal, and carbs following booze or exercise do the trick.

>>10931767
>>10932792
I like how these two posts have basically derailed the thread

As someone who is both a big fat (by human standards, mind you - not 4chan standards) gourmand who still successfully bangs multiple hot girls allow me to talk about food's relationship to hooking up with a girl the first time

There is an almost universal process girls go through to want to fuck you. First they have to notice you at all and kitchen stores / grocery stores have lots of women in them. Then they need to be "drawn" to you assuming you're a beta at heart like I am. Women find knowledgeable people interesting as long as you stay approachable and if you're able to kindle a spark, she might come over to your place.

I won't try to explain the spark, but this is where it gets to the subject of the actual food to prepare in hopes of scoring with her. It needs to be light because nobody likes fucking full of pasta. Think appetizers but ABOVE ALL, alcohol. In fact, if there's a tl;dr here it's to make light food that pairs well with her favorite alcoholic drink or if she hasn't got one, some girly one.

>>10945336
There's a hint of reality to this, although there's nothing quite like seeing a smiling, semi-wet gril twirling some homemade tagliatelle. She probably won't eat much unless she's a whale, but it really boils down to, "it was the thought that counts," and you're guaranteed getting your dick wet.

>>10937967
oh shit--3rd column/2nd row

isn't she from Law & Order: SVU

when it was good???

>>10942665
>He's never seen the roast beef
Go back to school loser

>>10942665

>>10931755
Try eating shit, faggot.

>>10933199
Why are asians so picky?
They should be lucky they have a chance to date a white guy.

>>10931846
Major decrease in religious people and the internet made the art form extremely easy to approach so a lot of new people started tattooing, it used to be that you would have to know someone who is a tattoo artist and take a rite of passage, the information age effectively ruined that.

>>10931741
>withered old lady hand
this guy havin pizza night with mummy?

>>10945534
Yeah, itwas getting long. I was going to include a bit about how a component of "the spark" that leads to sex is for her to be wondering if you actually like her almost as much as she likes you (you should never let a girl think you like her more) and that going to some effort to make a special meal for her is one of those ways that will get a girl's hopes up that you actually DO like her, and is simultaneously something that gets her over to your place alone - but again, nothing accelerates this process like alcohol.

>>10931767
This

No one has had sex. Now.. I'm sure of it

>>10948976
>you should never let a girl think you like her more
this is a big element of it. they PRETEND they'll leave you or their feelings are hurt or other dumb shit, that's just part of the game to them. you're winning if you don't let her manipulate you like she does most of the other guys that go after her.
do what you want, and if she wants to join she can, and don't go out of your way to be nice to her more than once a week. she'll get off on that one compliment or one thoughtful thing you did and try to get it out of you again, but you give them out very sparingly. she HAS to win this, her pride and self worth is wrapped up in beating you, relationships are just a game to chicks. it sucks.

>>10951027
>be amerimutt male and marry amerimutt womyn
>make a little bit savings low-mid 5 figures
>follow this advice
>at the divorce, judge declares savings go to her and you have to pay child support and alimony at the rate of 50% of salary
Warning, warning, enter at your own risk.

>>10935171
a true classic

>>10931767
Maybe you aren't "getting laid" because you're too busy writing a manifesto against it on 4chan.

>>10938132
That "couldn't stand seeing a black man become so successful" comment aside, they were just testing the waters with Cosby for #Metoo

Now that they see that they can get away with it, shit's about to get ugly with this fake movement.

>>10940249
chicken tendies because they're easy to make, tasty, and you're not trying to impress anyone.