/ck/ - Food & Cooking

well hey there, buddy

"P-please, have a seat. I'll get you a menu."
I walk away, my heart filling with panic. It's actually him! THE Gordon Ramsay! What the hell is he doing here? Why did he come down to my shack of a restaurant? And why now?! I look terrible, the place is a mess, oh god, I hope he doesn't notice.
I look over to Mr. Ramsay, who's carefully inspecting the tableware. His eyebrows furrow; has he found something?
I scurry to collect a menu. I flip through the brown, tattered and decrepit stack of papers, looking for the most presentable one. Yellowed, with coffee stains. He probably wouldn't like that. Looks good, but gives off quite the stench. No go. Slightly folded, with a tear along the creases. I guess this will have to do.
I walk back over to Mr. Ramsay, clutching the menu tight in my hands. I place it on his table. He looks me right in the eyes, those piercing blue irises staring deep into my soul.
"Thank you, darling," Mr. Ramsay says, in his sonorous accent.
I immediately turn away to blush. The heat rising up in my body is unbearable. My heart feels like it's about to explode.
"I-I'll come back in a moment!" I manage to stammer, running off in my shame.
Leering from the counter, I watch as Mr. Ramsay scans the menu. He doesn't seem too pleased with the offerings. Oh god, what could be wrong? I mean, I have everything he likes on there! Crab cakes, ravioli, it's the stuff he always orders!
He scoffs. He looks up and calls me over.
"Anon, anon, anon."
I'm gripped by fear and trepidation. What could he mean? Why does he sound so disappointed? Please, someone help me.
"A little bird told me that this place, they offer a dish you'll only really find in Southeast Asia. But I don't see it listed on your menu."
A dish... from Asia? B-but, but how? I've always offered the best of NEET cuisine, there's no way I would be known for anything otherwise!
"W-which dish might you be looking for, Mr. Ramsay?"
"A succulent, juicy boypussy."
EHHH?????

>>11213226
T-this can't be happening! How...
I mean, I moonlight as a hobby, but-
"So, do you offer it?"
Mr. Ramsay interrupts my attempts to rationalise.
"I-I..."
"Do a good job, I'll pay you handsomely."
There's a rush of emotions going through me right now. I can't pick them out; it's a bewildering mixture of anxiety, anticipation, agitation, happiness. It's really happening, isn't it.
"Y-yes... Mr. Ramsay."
"Get on the table."
I comply, silently. My cheeks are flushed tomato-red, I've never felt like this before in my life. I've had folks treat me in such curt, dominant manners before, but this is Gordon Ramsay here! It's completely different!
I turn my ass to Mr. Ramsay. Face down, ass up, whatever those thots say. I can feel myself getting hard, this is no good! I'm moving too fast!
"God... look at those buns."
I hear him murmur under his breath.
He grabs my waistband and pulls it down.
"Gorgeous."
He gives me a tight smack, and I feel my ass jiggle in response. He plants those firm hands onto each of my asscheeks, and spreads them apart.
I never thought the day would come where I would be sat here on one of my tables, kneeling with my asshole exposed, especially not with Gordon Ramsay ordering me.
"Looks... delicious. Perfect."
Something touches my asshole. It's rough, it's wet, it's his tongue. He begins rimming me, and it feels so good. I feel it firm up, and thrust into me. It's spreading me open!
His tongue, it's so thick! I can't help but think what Mr. Ramsay has packing. Would it be even thicker than the tongue that's digging deep into my anus right now? God, I hope so!
It stops for a moment, and I hear ragged breaths, recollecting oneself.
"Finally, some good fucking food. Let's move onto the next course."
I turn my head back and see Mr. Ramsay standing up. He's unbuttoning his pants! Belt first, shit, that's such a dominant action. He pulls down his tight white underwear, and unsheathes an absolutely massive cock.

>>11213168
I told you all this board is nothing but fucking Gordon Ramsay roleplay erotica, and up pops this thread

>>11213276
If I had to guess, I'd wager it to be nine, no, ten, inches in length, seven inches in girth. Thick, veiny, it looked exactly like what an exemplary cock should be.
I continue sat dog-like upon the table, incredibly turned on. My cock drips with pre-cum, oh, how I wish I could taste myself! But I must stay still, can't disappoint Mr. Ramsay now.
I hear some clinking as Mr. Ramsay rummages through a little bag he brought with him. He pulls out a small bottle of olive oil. Dripping a few teaspoons onto his fingers, he lathers some onto my asshole. I twitch with pleasure and feel my cock pulsate.
He then drips some onto his massive cock. That gigantic length of meat, poised at attention and ready for business. You just know, that kind of cock's gonna make you cum the moment it enters you.
His soft tip pushes against me and my eyes widen. It's spreading me open. He grunts as he pushes deeper into me. Cum splatters out of my cock, just as the glans makes it in. The crown nudges against my prostate and I'm overwhelmed with pleasure. He hasn't even started to thrust yet. Imagine when he does.
"Fuck, that's good."
He moans, grabbing me by my hair.
He shoves deeper into me, inch by inch. His cock, shaped in such a way that it just continues to get fatter, spreads me open like I've never been before. Finally, his whole member is inserted into my boypussy, as cum dribbles unabated out of my pathetic cock.
He pulls back, and it feels like my guts will come with. I've taken massive shits before, but this just doesn't compare. Thinking about it, I wonder if this is what those MRE greentexts must feel like. Before I could continue with my thoughts, though, I feel it push back into me. I let out a moan unlike ever before. Girly, high-pitched, entirely out of control.
He begins to pick up the pace, going in and out of me. My asshole's grown accustomed to the massive dick inside of me, and it just wants to milk him now.

>>11213323
Every single thrust of his manages to prod at my prostate, driving me into a frenzy. I've cum probably four times at this point, without even touching myself! I have no idea how my balls are able to keep up, but I feel the huge pool of my own cum touching my knees.
He's now ramming into me at full speed. My thoughts are barely coherent at this point, and all I can really focus on is the pleasure. I'm being driven crazy by Mr. Ramsay's cock, I don't think anything else will ever sate me after this.
His moans begin to get louder, is he about to cum? Oh, definitely, his dick's pulsating so hard! He slows down and changes to shallow strokes, edging, is he? Not in my ass!
Forgive me, Mr. Ramsay, but I have to take the lead for this brief moment. I clench my asshole and ram backwards, my jiggly ass wobbling as it hits his abs.
I hear a guttural moan, and his cock goes crazy. Pulsing, and pulsing, and pulsing. Pumping a massive load of cum into me. It's more than I've ever taken in before, it's probably more than I've let out as well!
His cock just continues to cum. And it makes me cum again. I spurt out once more, entirely submissive to the pleasure.
He pulls out completely, and his cum begins to leak out of my asshole. I turn behind, arching my back reminiscent to that creampied rabbit post I keep seeing. His face is flushed, and you just know an expression like that is full of content.
"What a fucking meal, Anon. Incredible."
Wordlessly, he dresses, packs up and heads towards the door. I'm left here on the table, panting, tongue out.
"T-thank you... Mr. Ramsay..."
I manage to let out.
"You don't mind if I come back, do you?"
All I could manage was a coy smile, as Mr. Ramsay saunters out of my tiny establishment.
Ah, the poor table I lay on. It was full of cum, both mine and his, and I continue to push the rest of his semen out of me. I roll off the table, completely exhausted and satisfied.

Almost forgot where I was for a second.

>>11213364

>>11213364

>>11213226
>>11213276
>>11213323
>>11213364
huh

What a thread

>>11213364
what happened next?

>>11213226
>>11213276
>>11213323
>>11213364

>this thread

I really want Gordon Ramsay to see this shit someday.

Nice

>>11213364

>>11213168
For god's sake, someone post this on his twitter, please. This bullshit, man. I am dying

>>11213226
>>11213276
>>11213323
>>11213364

>>11213364
>>11213323
I'm not gay but my penis is hard right now. This is too much

>>11213168
>>11213226
>>11213276
>>11213323
>>11213364
So you jacked off to the Gordon Ramsay Shadman comic, and wanted it to be you?
I hate the internet.

>food and cooking

Lowkey best thread on /ck/ right now

what the fuck

who here is rock hard right now haha? i'm not gay though just thought it was a funny coincidence :)

Reading that in his voice was the funniest thing I experienced in weeks.

Fuck you, imposter. Ramsey - my Ramsey - wouldn't say "SERVER here" like some ESL nignog

I find this thread quite disturbing if i do say so myself

>>11214698
>fuck and cocking

>>11213226
>"A succulent, juicy boypussy."