/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>11726464
pt. 2
>party is ending
>black friend is driver to home
>go to liqueur area
>want to start pounding shots before we leave
>no more plastic shot glasses
>raid their cupboards
>find a glass one
>pour the shot
>as I bring it up to my mouth it slipped
>shatters on floor
>panic
>sweep it under counter with foot
>raid the cupboards again
>find porcelain shot glass
>take a couple shots of the last bits of liqueur
>black friend comes back into house
>starts screaming at me to go
>"okay"
>try to set down porcelain shot glass
>it tips on counter
>rolls
>falls to ground and also shatters
>black friend looks at me in shock
>"LETS FUCKING GO!"
>leave shattered remains
>on my way out
>scuff two walls and a pillar with my guitar case
>mfw they invited me back to another mansion party

>>11726464
>funny spaghetti story.

>>11726466
its not a troll spaghetti story

>>11726466
tl;dr OP gets drunk and breaks everything because he's dumb as hell and can't hold his booze also he feels guy's cocks when drunk

>>11726497
wow OP sounds like a huge fucking faggot

>>11726464
>>11726465
I kek'd

OP here.
I'm one of them gays, btw.
If that matters?

>>11726516
one kek makes up for a thousand "op is a faggot"s.

>>11726512
let's look at the real shit about this.
have a mansion but uses paper plates, they are asking for it to tip
buy some thick plastic for fucks sake.
OP is a drunkard and should of been asked to leave when he showed up with two thugs

>>11726527
They weren't thugs, just jiggerboos

>>11726520
It's probably because, I too am a musician.

>>11726527
that what i honestly thought too. felt like plastic would be way worth it when we're partying in a house worth 1.8 mil. Apparently they knew it was me too, and said it was fine because they were selling the house with the furniture. also dropped a bottle in the CEO of Qualcom Staduim's mansion. Richest person I've ever met. Incredibly nice family. they also used paper plates, lmfao.
>>11726530
thank you, jiggerboos are not niggathugs. they are civil beings
>>11726538
fuck yeah, pic related.

>>11726585
Haven't been playing much, lately. Seems like all the music out there is just so uninspiring. Thinking about picking it up again though, since I've been unemployed for awhile now.

>>11726585
why don't you stop dropping shit everywhere you nerd

>>11726465
bro you are not a good guy.

>>11726464
What's with the thumbnail though, you didn't do it on purpose

>>11726464
>>11726465
Kek, reminds me of my friend who was also clumsy af when drunk.
Oh the good old times.

>>11726585
>they also used paper plates
why are rich people so cheap
what kind of bottle was it that you dropped? some thousand dollar champagne?

>>11726599
do it, it heals the mind...
>>11726690
lol, sometimes i get too drunk and have sweaty hands
>>11726875
i know...
>>11726886
lol, idk, cause i felt like a dick, ready for the next story?
>>11726909
haha. i love that it brought back memories for you
>>11726956
lmfao, it was a really expensive stout from some beaver company i think. he said it was experienmental and asked how i felt about. said it was really bad cause I dont like stouts, and he gave me shots of his fancy whiskey collection. it was really cool. im from dirt trash home, still live here, and its still crazy to think that a multi-millionare wanted to show me his good whiskey collection in his giant steller just cause i play some music...

Here comes my next story, about the how i got invited back...

pt. 3
>get invited to a different mansion party for birthday party of old fag that went to same school with me
>my two black friends cant give me a ride
>have to beg dad to drive me almost 2 hours to get to the mansion
>he said he still can't believe how I'm getting these gigs, takes a day off work that supports the family to take me
>get drunk before going with dad
>get to the mansion
>dad gets scared about driving up to the driveway
>the road was super uphill and extremely narrow
>drops me off at the back of the front gate (this house was huge)
>gate is stuck
>push it super hard
>turns out bags of concrete on other side
>this side of the giant front yard next to swimming pool is being redone
>ton of hot chicks in bikinis next to pool looking at me funny with giant 4x10 amp and guitar in each hand
>they laugh
>i start walking up to the garage
>its like 75feet
>get half way
>a tiny puppy starts running towards me
>everyone starts waving at me
>Hot chicks scream "THE BAND IS HERE WOO"
>I set down my gear to pet the tiny puppy
>pick up my gear
>puppy won't get out of my way
>shuffle my feet
>hill up to garage
>start stomping uphill
>puppy out of no where
>stomp puppy
>it screams
>loud
>everyone looks at me
>dog scampers off while whimpering
>extreme shame
>rush up hill
>everyone looks mad at me
>go to stage area
>put down my amp
>hide behind it
>wait for bandmates
>they come
>everyone is happy
>play gig
>pretty fun, it was a pool party with hot chicks
>start drinking heavily on stage
>play pour some sugar on me by request
>everyone starts dancing on stage
>pouring beer into cunts mouths
>my pedal board is getting soaked
>stop playing guitar
>let drummer do solo for like, 15 min
>drink as much beer as i can
>too drunk to play last two songs
>everyone still is dancing
>tell bitch to shake her ass
>she ends the night twerking on mic stand
>start hanging out
>get way too drunk
>band mate forces me to eat again
>take food to pool
>hit on chicks
>spill beer and food

>>11727172
>girls dont want my dick, but keep saying i was really good at guitar
>sad face
>try to pet puppy when it comes to pool to smell me
>hot chick runs up and grabs him right away, like she was scared
>go to get more beer
>birthday fag gives me $100 and says that his daughters and nieces are hard to get.
>make him shotgun an ipa beer with me
>he gets wasted from this
>bandmate shows up with his thcvapepen
>smokes us out
>birthday fag demands that we cook more sausages and hamburgers with him
>sounds pretty good
>he makes us start up his grill
>put the meat on
>disappears
>comes back right when they're ready
>smokes a huge dab load
>gets his food
>goes back to the pool
>sits in a chair
>and literally passes out
>i eat
>we all get paid by some random cunt ($300 each)
>i get a ride home from black bandmates
>get home
>make some canned chili
>drink a few more beers left in the fridge
>smoke a lot of weed
>pass out
>get invited to another party next week....

>>11727172
Protip your band is gonna fucking drop you ass. A few of my best friends had a band going, all of whom are super talented musicians. One of them couldn't be fucked to ever be sober and was constantly flaking to get more pot got kicked out for being a pain in the ass to all their venues and not being able to keep up compositionally. Fix your shit.

this is the equivalent of going on /sp/ to talk about "football watching stories" and then posting about how you proceeded to play video games

you're a fucking faggot OP, your 'humble brag' is transparent

>>11727219
lolwut. i've been in at least 30 bands now
was only with that band for about 6 months
problem was that instead of me getting the gigs
one of the bandmates wife's tried to take control of that
let her
laughed at her how none of us are getting gigs, let alone paying gigs anymore
left
started up another band
this band has been together over a year and half
we've already been on radios across america and europe
i dont book the gigs, so we don't make so much
but the gigs are fun, finally play for huge crowds of really young drunks
trying to tell them to let me book some gigs, but they're scared of getting paid a lot for smaller crowds.

>>11727224
you're the equivalent of a fag whining about a thread, projecting what ever the fuck you were talking about.
pic related, its you.

>>11727411
This is a /b/ thread at best, and an al/ck/ post at worst. It has nothing to do with food or cooking other than you being an alcoholic. You sound like a 20 year old faggot who goes around trashing people's things because he thinks he's a rockstar.

Just because the story involves spaghetti doesn't mean you get to leave your plebbit immigration mainland.
Here, let me give you some directions
>>>/r9k/
>>>/lgbt/

Are we supposed to be impressed? Outraged?
If you knew how to play real music, you wouldn't have to rely on negative attention. Get your shit together.

>>11727411
Fuck off faggot, your story was shit and not relevant to here

>>11727646
LMFAO, wow, you sound petty. Get drunk and having fun means someone thinks they're a rockstar now. hilarious. you sound like either an underage faggot who is butthurt you suck too much to go anywhere in life, or either an old faggot who's prime has already past and now you're petty its too late for you.
>>11728176
let me set you straight, you're a faggot, stop sucking dick
>>11728388
lmfao
>thinks that i get invited to mansions because I drop shit when im drunk
yup, my shitty music is why I get invited to gigs, must makey you pretty mad.
>>11728419
that would be you, sorry you're offended

>>11728722
I think they missed the part where you cooked the sausages and burgers

>>11728722
>yup, my shitty music is why I get invited to gigs, must makey you pretty mad
Considering how disrespectful you are towards yourself, deep down you aren't satisfied with those mansions.
Also, I don't deny hard work you have to put in to master an instrument and I'm not trying to bash you for the sake of bashing, but what you are doing is wrong and you should seek out help.

>>11728781
exactly, fucking newfriends.
>>11728832
lolwut, was plenty satisfied, literally live in a shithole so it was fantastic times. disrespecting myself? I was more of less referring the "real music" comment. Had some classical training, so can only assume he thinks any other music is not "real".

What I'm doing is literally having fun while I'm young at rich people's houses, that literally want their guest to get super drunk and have fun, and not worry about brown nosing them for their house. I think you should probably seek help, because it sounds like you don't know how to have fun.

Everytime I think this place can't get any worse, another level of idiot finds /ck/..

>>11729058
That's a capital T-tender, buddy!