/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12750854
Oh man, you seen some shit, fren. No worries tho...it gets better

>>12750877
Dumb frog poster

Pretty much anytime anyone cooks with salted butter. Boomers should be crucified

>>12750854
I dip honey buns in A1

>>12750903
Anime website.

>>12750950
Why is salted butter bad

>>12750854
>sister wanted to make tuna salad
>no mayo
>uses mustard instead

>>12750854
Nothing at all wrong with those pancakes, asshole.

>>12750854
>be 9
>be at friend's house
>his mum cooks pizza
>excited
>pizza is at least three inch thick, thickest pizza I ever saw in my life
>has the consistency of poorly baked bread
>doesn't even hold and falls all over the place
>too much sugar in dough, why is there even sugar in dough?
thank god my mother is a good cook, I weep for my friend. I remember that pizza vividly even though this was like 18 years ago.

>>12750983
>>12750877
Cringe retarded frogposter

>>12750983
>why is there even sugar in dough
So the yeast doesn't attack the starch.

>>12750854
I microwaved a couple eggs in a bowl last night

ITT

>>12750854
i like my peanut butter and pastrami sandwiches

>>12750854
Japanese people making Mexican food.
Not that this is necessarily bad but it's a crime nonetheless. Taco Rice is the best example I have. Take tex mex ingredients and put it over white rice. Essentially the same thing as Mexican food but a little more bland.

>>12750854
Saw someone put ketchup on their chicago dog.

>>12750854
Watching my mom making spaghetti while I was growing up. She used a jar of spaghetti sauce then filled the empty jar with water and added that too.

My dad eats miracle whip and peanut butter sandwiches. It makes me want to vomit

>>12750854
Did he take the onion out? That's not an entirely uncommon method. A sweet spice in bolognese also isn't uncommon, though nutmeg is more traditional. Most people don't use sweet spices for anything outside of desserts now for some reason but it does taste good with a lot of savory dishes. A handful would be excessive though if you're not exaggerating.

The pancakes sound more like funnel cake, which can be good, but I'm not sure about in olive oil. A more neutral oil or butter might be better.

>>12750959
How was prison?

>>12751759
I dunno why but this 3 word sentence fucking made me laugh so hard.
Thank you anon.

>>12751305
I ordered taco rice by mistake once because I thought it's octopus rice. It was ok

>>12751747
No, he left the onion skin/peel in the bolognese sauce when he dished up, and it was literally half a pot of cinnamon each time

>>12750982

Okay if you like your pancakes to taste of car sponge saturated with pure scalding hot oil

>>12751008
Go to reddit.

>>12750854
The time my dad decided to make pizza.

He used Bisquik for the crust, and spaghetti sauce for the sauce. Imagine eating a pancake with spaghetti sauce, cheese and pepperoni on it. It was horrible.

>>12751919
I don't need any more retarded frogs.

The only method my mom use to cook meat is minimum 30 minutes in the oven at 350 in a pyrex dish half-filled with water and a spice mix old enough to vote sprinkled over it.

>>12751248
your FITT i'd like to spongie you wongies

>>12750967
generally because your already seasoning whatever your cooking with the butter. Salted butter is intended to be used on things like toasts or breakfast biscuits or whatever. Its eating butter and not cooking butter.

>>12750973
Source? If she crushed Ritz crackers too, I'll marry her today.

>>12752144
What the hell is that from

>>12750854
My dad put mayonaise on nice blue cheese once.

>>12752158
Seinfeld season 3 episode 5

>>12752148
It's really only important to use unsalted butter when baking. Since I don't bake I'm not going to be assed to buy it for the few pats I may use in a frying pan or on top of a steak occasionally. Salted is perfectly fine for this.

>>12752164
i mean, that is how you make bleu cheese dressing.

>>12750959
I dip celery in bbq sauce.

i make peanut butter and kraft singles sandwiches on whole wheat toast. I also like Italian sausage on rye bread with raw onion and spicy mustard.

>>12752200
just seemed weird to me man

My roommate from college would use precooked rice and not follow the instructions on it. He ended up with cooked rice in a bunch of water and would drain the rice.

He never learned and did this several times.

>>12750963
And therefore frogs shouldn't be allowed at all.

>>12751714
Did she add a little bit of water and shake it?

>>12750973
your sister is based, mayo sucks

I repeadetly see people eating their steak well done

>>12750967
Zero control over salt content. It's literally as easy as just grabbing the unsalted butter and then seasoning to taste, but people are stupid.

>>12750950
>Boomer dad cooking steak
>Throws a tablespoon of Country Crock on top
>Quick pour of Bud Light
>Well done

>>12752148
>Its eating butter
Explain this shit, Americans.

>>12750950
>>12752148
>>12752586

So it's a "crime against food" if you use salted butter and accommodate for it? Sounds like elitist bullshit

>>12753050
Don't listen to the bakefags, no one actually gives a shit about using unsalted butter while cooking

>>12753057
I know. I'm just trying to start an argument.

>>12753069
Me too

Pic related

>>12753072
Well fuck you then!

>>12753081

>>12750854
my roommate drains ALL the water out of his ramen and eats the noodles dry

>>12752148
How much fucking butter are you using that it being salted affects the taste?

>>12753107
I did that as a kid because that's what my parents taught me. They actually called it Chinese Spaghetti and didn't use any of the seasoning packets because they said the salt was bad for me.

>>12752148
Only sissy soibois use unsalted butter

>>12753197
how horrifying

>>12753236
A little on the nose but pretty good

>>12750854
>then dump a handful of cinnamon powder in
Jesus my old housemate used to do this. He was just clueless about even the basics of cooking and figured bolognese has spices in it and cinnamon is a spice.

>>12752215
I eat Italian sausage on sub rolls with BBQ sauce.

>weird ass cream cheese-pulled buffalo chicken casserole my aunt takes pride on making

It's absolutely ghastly. Don't know how my uncle eats that

>>12752939

In America we use butter for culinary purposes and not to lube up our buttholes for gay sex with our gay lovers

Seriously though I didn't even know non-Americans could afford butter

>>12753329
In America we aren't afraid to take risks.

Literally anything with Miracle Whip

My sister was "chopping" onions with a steak knife. She was literally holding little pieces of onion and slicing them individually.
I of course went to get their chefs knife and it was dull as fuck.

>>12750854
until I was 17 I thought I hated eggs because my mom would only make scrambled eggs, overcook them, then coat them in pepper.

A few years ago I went to a restaurant with my parents and they were disgusted when I ordered my eggs over easy.

>>12753321
Hes the one that snagged your hot ass aunt as a wife

My friend put Miracle Whip in their white rice. Couldn't cope with that.

Coworker regularly orders a fish hoagie with only bread, cod, and ketchup. I thought it was a one off, but he's done it every time the group orders out.

My cousin kept his potato chips in the fridge (still in their packets) because "they get crispier in there".

I tried one out of curiosity and it was just colder and slightly soggier.

>>12751759
Underrated post

>>12753197
>chinese spaghetti
God dammit

>>12753107
Whats wrong with this, its based. Also add my own seasonings, saucw and veggies maybe a bita meat.

The shit home cooks do in Indiana. Moving out here and meeting my gf and her friends has been ridiculous when it comes to cooking
>friend's family's signature 'crack bread' which is Pillsbury crossaints rolled on a tray doused in cinnamon, called crack bread because haha its soooo addicting like crack lol
>legendary signature recipe, whole unseasoned chicken breast slow cooked in ranch - 'sooooo good' yet never 'seems to come out right'
>get invited to adult dinner, and be served ham and cheese sliders, meaning kraft cheese and ham heated on kings Hawaiian buns in a tray
>leftovers of leftovers from day cares and shit - 'here honey i brought home this leftover eighth bag of cheez-its Anna didnt want that she had leftover from her kindergarten class'
>shared freezer becomes full of months and months of batches of uneaten jello shots her friend keeps making, always talking about how she used to party so hard with them in college, only to either fuck up their batch or have one and leave the rest forever until thrown away
General Midwest thot stuff. Most of it came from her friend.

>Baking never works out for me, I don't know what it is
>haha you know, once you'd been cooking as long as i have, you never need to measure

She used to have the same problem with gardening

I knew a guy who made a huge pot of spaghetti. I don’t think he put in any seasonings and he compensated for this by putting huge spoonfuls of mayo into it.

My housemate would buy like 6 pounds of chuck steak, microwave it all from raw for like 45 minutes, then split it with his dog

>>12754431
How far are these people?

>>12750854
How do you make pancakes?

>>12754966
Just guy things

>>12750877
based frenposter

>>12754431
I think this is very typical for the Midwest. A friend of mine had his loser mom stay with him for a while and she insisted on making him a hearty breakfast of Twinkies and orange juice every morning. He was 23.

>>12754966
Fuck that’s nasty

>>12753321
Honestly ive made and seen others make buffalo chicken dip with cream cheese especially when baking. Its perfect, just need the buffalo sauce and the chedder and its already a solid 8/10 pub dip at this point.
The cream cheese has a mild flavor but some nice tang, and the cream aspect is great for a dip.

My grandmother would make meatballs with more breadcrumbs than meat and way too much garlic, then cooks them by basically poaching them in tomato sauce. And by tomato sauce I mean unseasoned, basic tomato sauce in a can, which for some reason she mixed with whole canned tomatoes and blended until it turned pink (probably whipping air into it). The meatballs were basically gooey, gray bread balls.

>>12755090
What culture does your grandma come from?

>>12755090
Sounds like one of those recipes from that AI.

>>12750959

i was a picky eater, but i discovered i loved A1.

Mashed potatos? create a little crater and fill with a1.

French fries A1.
Peas? A1.
Buscuits? A1.
Corn muffins? A1.
Corn. A1.
Sweet Potato? A mother fucking 1.

A1 got me through some hard times.

>>12753107

I ate the noodles 100% uncooked as a kid, with the seasoning packet sprinkled over it as a school lunch. Other kids actually started doing it.

I used to take them cooked, but they got super fucking gross, and taste terrible cold.

>>12750854
Olive oil pancakes are a thing. But I doubt he intended to make that, nor did it correctly.

>>12751759
Top fuckin lel

>>12752148
Your is possessive. You mean to say, you’re (you are).

>>12755023
Same guy bought pre-made spaghetti in bulk from the grocery store deli at like a 500% mark up from just dried pasta and sauce

>>12755277
>I ate the noodles 100% uncooked as a kid, with the seasoning packet sprinkled over it as a school lunch. Other kids actually started doing it.
I do that to this day.

The food was okay but it was pretty criminal the way my housemate's wife stood in the kitchen in silence stirring a pot of soup for 90 minites. Some people have really laborous ideas of what good cooking is.

>>12750854
A girl in my college dorms decided to make “latkas” without looking up a recipe or having had latkas before.

She created a weird egg batter that was the same grey as thick dust. I still don’t know how she did that but it was vile. Then she put raw cubed potatoes in the batter and “fried it” by cooking the mixture in a nonstick pan without oil.

It was still wet on top and dripping when she took it off the stove. She was personally offended when I told her that would be dangerous to serve. (She was making it for a dorm wide “food festival”)

>>12750854
Sweet potato pancakes fried in olive oil are good.

I find cooking food a bit cringe when roommates are around. Like, "nice haha nice soup ur makin u fag." This is why i just get a sandwich or make spaghetti if i do cook. Its not extra for no reason

>>12754995
Probably depends on where you live. I'm in Texas so Indiana is pretty far.

>>12751305
I'm an American poorfag and I do that.

>>12755507
>I find cooking food a bit cringe when roommates are around.

You either need better roommates or better self confidence. Literally nothing “cringe” about being able to cook food.

>>12755507
Normalfags need to be shot.
>Wow look at this fag MAKING his food. I'd rather have this shitty processed over priced fast food everyday!
My roommate cooks for our apartment (3 people including himself) in exchange for a portion of his rent (we buy the food for him that he requests) and holy shit it's the best shit ever. There are times that I find myself coming out of my room to investigate what's being made because it usually smells way too good.

>>12755540
>Normalfags need to be shot.
>Wow look at this fag MAKING his food. I'd rather have this shitty processed over priced fast food everyday!

That’s not even a normalfag thing though, 95% of humanity doesn’t give a shit if you cook, or will even be mildly impressed. This dude’s Roomates just fucking suck.

>>12753373
>CONTAINS NO MEAT OR CHEESE
It's just a novelty produ-...

>adam the creator
It's not even real, dumbass.

Mega Stuff Oreos seem cool but suck in reality.

>>12750973
>>12750983
>>12750959
>>12751282
>>12751726
>>12753197
>>12754431
>>12754966
>>12755277
>>12755270
Textbook examples of white "people".

>>12755617
That's fair.

One of my friends puts salt and mayonnaise on his pizza. It's revolting.

>>12755566
Trip dubs based god has spoken

>>12751794
Sometimes simple implications are the best

>>12752586
>control over salt
dumb women lmao

I’ve got one

>home for Christmas Dinner with gf
>had an excellent standing rib roast
>Mom: “And now time for dessert-Cheesecake!”
>disgonbegood.jog
>my favorite thing ever.
>Whole family takes huge slices
>first bite tastes like curdled sand
>”What’s in the cheesecake Mom?”
>”I was worried about it having too much sugar and fat
>”so I made it with Splenda and fat free cheese”
>not even baking Splenda-the box literally says DO NOT USE FOR BAKING
>nobody finished their piece.
>dumped the rest of the cake in the trash.
My gf thought I was joking when I told her about my mom’s cooking, until she witnessed it for herself.

If this is filled with culinary "crimes" then this >>12755277 is the atrocity equivalent with ethnic genocide. Same sweet Jesus.

>>12755566
https://youtu.be/WKtS0z9Wgno

>>12755159
Her father was born in America, her mother was either born in Poland or Russia and grew up in Harlem. The most likely explanation is just that she's an idiot, though.

>>12755740
I see. I was wondering if she was Italian and fucking up that hard. Eastern european cuisine is kind of odd to begin with so maybe it's in her blood.

>>12755740
Was there also cabbage involved? Could have been golabki. That's polish peasant food my fake dad used to make every so often that was terrible.

>>12750854
>not frying your pancakes in caramel

>>12755964
>golabki
Never tried the Polish version but the Belarussian (halubcy), Russian (golubtsy) and Ukrainan (holubtsi) ones are pretty good (well, like everything it depends on the cook).

>>12750983
Nigga got PTSD from pizza.

>>12756397
I guess you could say, he got PIZZATSD.

LOL

>>12754431
I fucking hate it when suburban moms say things are "like crack"

>>12755035
>making him a breakfast

Removing the food from the packaging doesn’t count as making jack shit

>>12756444 (nice trips)

I know right. FUCK YOU MOM, YOU DONT KNOW WHAT CRACK IS LIKE BUT I DOOOOOO!!1!

>>12751867
debased and bluepilled

>>12755382
She probably just needed an excuse to not be in the same room as her cunt of a husband.

>>12755277
>>12755694
nothing wrong with eating crunchy uncooked "ramen".
we all did this as kids.

>>12755388
>This is how modern women cook

>>12756614
fuck off, nico

>>12756614
>>12756630
Nico, nico, nigger!

>>12756430

You want a real crime against food? Pic related, do not attempt to eat Western food in Japan.

>>12757435
What is that burnt one?

>>12750854
When I was 13 I made pancakes, and substituted the butter with olive oil

>>12755555
Sick pents

>>12755540
Thats a pretty nice arrangement you guys got

>>12756655
based

>>12754420
its not ramen if there's no broth you autist

>>12757435
I had a pizza topped with mayo and corn when I was in Fukuoka. I remember it being better than starving. But you're right, if you're in Japan, you ought to eat at any of a dozen ramen or tempura places. Or pic related.

>>12754431
Oh God, Midwest anon here. I feel your pain.
>sister learns a recipe from friend
>calls it 'better than sex cake'
>it's just whitecake with fucking mountain dew mixed in
>AWFUL
My sister is the worst cook I know.

>>12755277
There is a snack ramen now that is meant to be eaten raw.

>>12755311
Shut up bitch literally no body gives af

>>12751919
That is the redit pepe
>>12750877

>>12755311
Based
>>12758241
Lmao, loser

>>12750959
I eat powdered parmesan from a can and take sips of hot sauce in between inhalations. Sometimes I mix it all together and top it on plain pork rinds.

I had a roommate who use to mix kraft mac n cheese with a can of chili, fried onions, scallions, and sliced italian sausages. He called it Manchild's Delight.

>>12758241
I do
Learn English you fucking nigger

>>12750854
My family. No one seems to know how to properly cook and if you point out anything they're doing incorrectly they get all pissy and passive aggressive. I never eat anything they make when I'm over if I can help it.

For one, their general idea of using spice is "douse shit in whatever we have without ever measuring." They have no regards to what works well together. They especially love dried oregano for some reason, and put it on shit that it doesn't fucking go with in any universe. One time I was making some broccoli along with some other stuff and asked my aunt to just watch it for a second and when I get back she said "I spiced it for you since it didn't have anything on it." She coated the shit in fucking garlic powder and dried oregano. I didn't even bother eating it and just tossed it all in the trash when she left. If I could take all the oregano plants on the planet and hurl them deep into fucking space and ensure that no strain of it could ever exist on this planet again, I would do it without hesitation. I still can't use the shit in cooking without it souring my stomach if I smell it.

>>12758281
>start cooking something
>ask someone to watch it for JUST A MINUTE
>they completely take over and ruin
Goodness,anon. You've sent me down memory lane.

>>12758294
This is me, but to be fair I only do it when my dad cooks on the rare occasion I visit him
His idea of seasoning is to put this on everything he eats

>>12758249
>>12758273
Stay triggerd you fucking homos

>>12750854
>To scare the shit out of relatives I don't care for, I cute a good piece of raw beef and ate it to freak them out, and slapped some fish parts on a wall and left it there.
>I ate a cockroach off the floor as a kid and would regularly dig for food from the garbage because sometimes my parents were too lazy too cook and I was too scared to try. When I figured out eggs at 7 life was pretty good.
>My cousin crushed some crackers and poured it into a can of watery tuna and mixed it up until it looked like sludge. We folded the lid like a spoon and had at it while drinking in a burned down house.
>We didn't have a proper stove in our mountain hut so we used a metal electric fan salvaged from someone's trash and propped it on some rocks in the """kitchen.""" Once the fire under it was so big it burned fish my uncle threw whole into the thing. They still had scales and all. We still ate it.
>I put half developed chicken eggs into a blender with vanilla protien powder and drank it.
>Wanting to cook one time, I stole fruit from neighbors tree because I was hungry and thought they were going to beat the shit out of us when we got caught. But they spooked me off.
>Cooking canned sardines in a pot and adding chopped papaya and water at a graveyard. At least it had pepper.
>My mom's dog got hit by a bus so my grandpa prepared a stew with it and had a blast.
>I used to eat some of the smaller and softer bones and tendons when I ate chicken because I saw my uncle do it.
These are off the top of my head, I'll probably remember more if I really think about it.

>>12752310
Came here to say this.
>cooking a steak anything past medium

>>12750854
Roommate was a bodybuilder /fit/izen and had his whole diet planned out. Every single meal was boiled broccoli, plain whole wheat pasta or brown rice, a quartered tomato, and beef or chicken (cooked in a pan without oil or butter and no seasonings or glazes).

He kept asking why my food and his gf’s food tasted better, so we told him to fucking use spices. The beast replied:
> I won’t use spices, they have no nutritional value.

>>12758332
You and your entire family are fucking psychopaths.

>>12758281
>>12758304
jesus anon some people like different shit even if it is stupid. you dont even live there or have to eat it. stop making bad memories about your folks they wont be there forever enjoy it while you can

I knew a guy who used to make plain spaghetti and then pour in straight tomato sauce and barbeque sauce. The smell alone was enough to ruin your appetite.

Another time I was on a cruise and saw some fat whale eating spaghetti bolognaise with french fries through it, despicable.

I was in italy not long ago and a couple walked into a restaurant, complain to the waiter that they didn't like seafood or meat and then ordered an omelette each and a bowl of chips to share.

>>12758361
Nigger I had to live in oregano world for over 20 years. I HAD to eat the shit if I wanted food for most of my life. My only reprieves were the times they decided to get pizza or something or I got to go to a friend's place for dinner. You try eating oregano rice and oregano instant mashed potatoes and semi-burnt roast chicken with an actual fucking oregano crust for years and see if you don't start hating that shit too. Also I'm not spicy dad guy, but I would gladly go back in time and trade with him if possible.

>>12758369
>I knew a guy who used to make plain spaghetti and then pour in straight tomato sauce
That's how my mother cooked spaghetti for years when I was growing up: boil and strain the noodles, return to pot, then dump the whole jar of tomato sauce in and serve immediately. I didn't necessarily hate it growing up, but I never knew how much I was missing out on quality spaghetti. I remember traveling to my grandparents who were out of state and we rarely visited once when I was older and they made a spaghetti with ground beef, sausage, veggies, etc. and I thought I was in food heaven. Could never go back to my mother's spaghetti after that.

>>12758387
By tomato sauce, I mean ketchup not just a pre-made spaghetti sauce.

>>12758209
>crushed up chicken flavored roach jerky is “broth”

>>12757435
I had one of the best Nachos I can recall in the financial district of Tokyo at 4AM in a cowboy themed bar.

>>12758332
>Mountain hut
This is fucked up, even for Appalachian standards.

>>12758332
>t. member of Resident Evil 7 family

>>12758373
im sure that sucked and im sorry you uad to eat it, but my point remains. youre an adult now put it behind you cuz when your old man dies you dont want him to just be oregano man

>>12758361
My dad willingly accepts I'm a better cook than him
It's the reason he always asks for my help in the kitchen, because I genuinely know how to make his food taste better

>>12758399
>Broth is a savory liquid made of water in which bones, meat, or vegetables have been simmered
Broth is the liquid not the seasoning flavor you retard
There's no fucking flavor if you dump out all the water and season just the noodles.

>>12758281
She sounds like a better chef than you

>>12753107
That's how I eat ramen. I don't like soupy noodles; only moist enough after draining for the seasoning to stick, like >>12754420 mentioned.

>>12750982

>>12754997

in a small piece of melted butter, like a non-spastic

>>12755507

>be in shared uni house, making omelette
>housemate i barely talk to walks into kitchen (instant dread)
>"cooking, eh?"
>'yeah mate, just making an omelette aha'
>"omelette, eh? ahhh nice...."
>*continues to stand behind me watching*

i hated uni

>be 17
>finally have a gf
>15 y/o Vietnamese goth
>invited to lunch at her place
>turns out she's adopted by some whites bourgeois on the brink of divorce
>try to be reserved and polite to avoid any shitstorm
>mother still hates my guts with a passion for no reason
>father is completely silent
>lunch is ready
>it's spaghetti carbonara
>take a bite
>it tastes fucking awful
>look at my plate
>I have no idea how she did it but its a watery disgusting white sauce
>no spices
>no taste except for some foul rotten aftertaste
>holy shit did she just pour rotten milk over cooked pasta
>can barely touch my plate
>excuse myself pretty early
>end up making out with gf upstairs

Pretty good day overall.

>>12753272
cinnamon is delicious in tomato sauces anon get a clue

>>12758777
Wow, did she like Clan of Xymox as well?

>>12758241
>nobody gives af
>nobody gives as fuck
What is wrong with you?

>>12755659
It's not a nutrition thing, it's about avoiding over-salting food that's finished in the pan with butter. Same reason it's preferable to use cooking stock without salt. Can always add more, can't take it out. If you've never finished steaks, pork chops, chicken breast, sauteed veggies etc with butter, you're missing out.

>>12755682
This is the worst, why do people last minute substitute stuff?

>>12758233
>better than sex cake
Damn i hear this one too. Yikes

>>12757649
Oh my sweet summer son. It is not burnt.

>>12758920
This doesn't actually seem bad at all unless there are regular pizza ingredients included in this. Its just funky cake at this point

>>12758403
I went to a Mexican restaurant in Osaka, it was hilarious. I'm from California so basically all we eat is Mexican food, and the Japanese attempt at salsa was extremely amusing.

>>12751747
>>12758332
I need more

I didn't witness this, but my dad did.

>Grandma raised as Cuban aristocracy pre-Castro
>Castro happens
>Moves to America with literally nothing
>Never learned to cook
>Tries to cook a whole chicken
>No seasoning
>My dad walks in
>It's somehow been congealed to the wall tiles and has to be pried off by force

>>12758281
>throwing it away after she leaves
>not doing it right in front of her as a power move

>>12758233
your sister sounds like the kinda girl thatd jerk me off for a six pack of old milwaukee

>>12759036
>Something my mom taught me but I used to throw random vegetables over an open fire, peel the outer burned layer or skin, and mash it with eggs to make an omelette. It would taste like a campfire. Not comfy campfire cooking. The campfire itself.
>My friend's dad took a mouse and swallowed it whole like a snake.
>There are these small extremely sour fruit that frow locally and one of my neighbors came by to eat 20 of them in one go without making any facial expression or blinking.
>The tuna, tuna water, annd cracker thing was just the start. We'd do it with other things like vienna sausage, the tomato sauce sardines, ect. Just to make the joke, "Hey look it's American food." We were usually drunk when we did it though.
>Godmother would leave out prepped food for hours until it spoiled in the sweltering heat. Every single party or feast she hosted. Anyone coming in late wouldn't know. It got me the first time and I was shitting for weeks.
>A common dish where I'm from is to put fish in a clay pot, throw some chili in and fill it with pure vinegar and some salt and serve it over rice. I thought it was great until I learned how to cook real food.
>I smuggled a Kaffirlime plant, a spice, from Thailand back to my country only to find out it was originally from there, no one uses it so I never knew. I don't even really like Thai curry.
>Only knew how to make eggs and meat I couldnt afford when I moved out at 16. I used to mix cream of mushroom soup packets with wet pasta and eat some shrimp along side and thought it was pretty fancy.

>>12759678
>My main source of protien At the time was chicken liver, blood, intestines, and heart. Id fry it and eat it with apples I used to get for real cheap. They were alway about to spoil. I'd mix intestines in Applesauce and also thought that was pretty fancy.
>First time making fish on my own, also at the time I had the heat on way too high and the fish melded to the pan's surface. I thought you had o sear the ohtsjde like red meat for whatever reason. I still kept at it d it made a lot of smoke, enough fo my neighbors to notice and they laughed at me forever about it.
>Not really cooking related random goblin people would come in and play cards at my dinner table, during dinner. I had no idea who they were, I think they could have been the landlord's friends, they wouldn't ask for any food, water, or anything. They'd just come by to play cards. I never found out their names but they stopped when I said I had to study after meals and it was kind of distracting.
>Neighbor at the time gave me "spaghetti" with a slice of white bread and it just tasted like ketchup and hotdogs.
>My mom milked a buffalo and tried to make so e kind of fermented cheese. It didn't look fermented, just mouldy. Had the shits for days.

>>12758267
based roommate

>>12757435
korean "pastry" is pretty horrible too. there are disgusting hot dog buns with ketchup and mayo buns and buns with creamed corn in them

>>12758332
>>12759678
>>12759709
Are you some sort of WW2 survivor? What the fuck?

My roommate tried to cook a nice steak, but when he served it it was raw.
He then took tje steaks and made deep cuts in the steaks before continue to cook them because the heat would reach the middle easier. In the end it was still almost raw anyway.

>>12750854
sea urchin ceviche

>>12753236
Have fun retaining water, you bloated mess

>>12759783
I'd probably get better food and cooking habits early on if I was. I'm alright now at least.

>>12755682
I kinda feel bad for your mom. Must've been sad to see that no one ate her cake

>>12755377
based, as do i

>>12757435

Are you the same fucking autist that posts a variant on this in every single vaguely related thread?

>>12760355
Let him be. He's a weeaboo faggot that regrets his life long dream of living in japan because he cant get his fat greasy fix. That's punishment enough.

>>12752148
>I'm a fucking retard that thinks I know things the post.

>>12758398
>First thing I did when I got here I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and instead i got egg noodles and ketchup.
>I'm an average nobody.
>I get to live the rest of my life like a schmuck.

>>12750973
Use both you tastelet

>>12758332
>>12759678
>>12759709
This absolute freak just BTFO the whole thread holy shit

Not really food crime, but a girl I went to university used to drink gin mixed with diet coke

>>12752206
I used to eat BBQ sauce with something like that but I forget what it was. Your post made me think of it.

>>12760924
Why do you guys fall for every bullshit no matter how made up it sounds

>>12760955
The Diet Coke is the worst of it all

>>12751420
epic no ketchup on hot dogs meme

>>12759332
underrated

>>12760924
Y-you too. Just remembered a few more animal related ones.
>>12761346
desu I barely believe half of what I saw. Grew up in a third world mountain shithole.

>Chickens would repeatedly break into out ""kitchen"" got to a point where you could open up a cupboard, pull out a hen trying to scrap for bread or something and chop it's head off for fresh meat. Was actually kind of nice. Once a snake came in and started eating them though.
>Once we did do that and had a stew, my cousin had this new kitten that was a few weeks old. He kept jumping onto the kitchen table trying to snatch food so my uncle smashed it's head against the table and accidentally killed it. Cousin was mortified, kind of ruined dinner for everyone.
>One of the cats was from the city and thought the grain was cat litter. He had to go too.

>>12761346
I've had sex before so don't live on a plane of infinite irony.

>>12755507
That's some weirdo bizzaroland shit. I'm the only one of my friends that can cook, and I get praised for making the simplest things. Feels good

>>12761437
sounds pretty gay. are you guys sucking each others cocks by any chance?

>>12761376
Oh okay, you must be Chechen or Georgian then

>>12761446
Of course, cum is an essential ingredient.

>be 10
>summer with the senpai in the small town parents grew up in
>cooking is hard to time bc everyone is at the lake or visiting with family
>just me and grandpa, chilling watching hockey on TV
>hey anon I'm going to make some PB&J sammies you want one?
>fuckya.jpg
>I devour the sammie, and then head downstairs to game out on my PS2
>get about 5 mins into gaming
>i can literally hear my intestines screaming
>oh fuck what is happening
>I can now feel the shit about to blow out of me at mach speed coming in hot
>I sprint to the bathroom and almost didn't make it
>shit violently for about 30 mins
>goingtofuckingdie.jpg
>turns out that peanut butter had been expired for like 4 years
>found out that day grandpa didn't give a fuck about spoiled food
>the food didn't ever effect him, he has an iron stomach, i fucking don't
>thanks asshole

>>12761458
Nahh, worse. Filipino mountain goblin. Even the horsefucking Tagalogs make fun of us.

>>12758928
This. Wop place I worked at served pizza nutella as a kids menu. Little fuckers loved it

>>12755382
Rose?

>>12758979
pix or it didnt happen

Fucker I drove to HS with used to stop at McDrive and dunk his fries in his milkshake.
My brother used to eat bacon banana sandwiches
He now lives in Finland and he and his wife eat macaroni for breakfast
My grandma used to eat ground beef raw out of the package yet still lived to 84
My dad eats PB and pineapple sandwiches
When I'm fucked up and lazy I eat pretzels with caesar dressing

>>12761750
Peanut butter doesn't really go bad, and even if it did it wouldn't hit you that fast, don't blame grandpa for that one

>>12762129
Those first two things are perfectly acceptable tho.

>>12758332
uma delicia

all i can think of is dousing my popcorn with water

>>12752586
you can easily determine the amount of salt in the butter by looking at the nutrition facts.
you're retarded

Unsalted butter fags are the worst. Just use less salt in your dish you tremendous retards, or are you completely unable to deviate from your internet recipes?

>>12753373
Dude I had a chocolate bar once that had dried tomatoes and chips in it and it was supposed to be French fries. I actually wanted to die after eating it

>>12752148
I don't know why everyone's shitting on you. Everything you said is correct, except for your grammar I guess.

>>12755694
You never did this?

My mom Making tomatoes spaghetti sauce with only like one tomatoe and then use tons of coloring to make the oil and water turn red so that the whole meal looks red when mixed...
Everything she cooked had a lot of food coloring to make it seem seasoned
Potatoes... Meat chicken whatever

>>12761437
>taking compliments at face value
Praise is always an underhanded insult. Everybody hates everybody. That's how the world works.

>>12761458

You don't now shit about Georgia or Chechnya, anon

>>12758233
There isn't anything wrong with that apart from the vulgar name. It's like how some people swear by using lemonade in scones to give it a better rise.

>>12754431
I lived in Indiana for 20 years and never heard or saw any of this stuff. I'm guessing you and your girlfriend are trailer trash which can be found anywhere

>>12763506
Flyover is a state of mind.

>making a cheesecake
>recipe calls for unsalted butter
>use salted butter

>>12751305
Taco Rice is an Okinawan staple food created to make more palateable options for US Marines to eat while they blow their paychecks sightseeing and being ridiculously drunk. You fucking historylet. Also fuck your picture. Lettuce and tomatoe just goes to show how out of touch you are. It should be RICE with BEEF AND CHEESE on top only

>>12753329
Excuse you
We use coconut oil not butter

>>12763621
my man!

>>12760355
No I almost never post and rarely actually use /ck/ but I'm in Japan and saw the chance.

>>12758332
>>12759678
>>12759709
bro...

>>12762090
Not in Osaka anymore so I can't get a picture of the place. If you're genuinely curious, the place was called "メキシコ料理muミューmexicokicthen×ber mu", a title which I guess makes sense.

Here's the last lunch I have a picture of, from Kyoto.

>>12752158
I think it's from one of the trolls movies.

>>12759125
This kind of bullshit would kill me as a Euro, everyone would judge you here if you asked for a box to take shit home in. What is wrong with America?

>>12758677
where is this from?

>>12765004
I think I vaguely recall this being one of Jack's antics but you'll have better luck asking for source in the Webm threads where i got this from

>>12764611
are gaijin supposed to out their hands together and itadakimasu when they eat at a restaurant

>>12750877
I love you pepe its ok

>>12763375
Lol thats retarded

>>12763506
I moved here 5 years ago, brought great food to my new friends, and they basically compete to be better cooks now

I had a roommate who said he didn't like avocados. I asked him how he ate it, and he said he just took a spoon to it.

>>12750950
Unsalted butter is the real crime

>>12765562
THAT'S NOT PEPE YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKTARD THAT'S APU APUSTAJA REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>12755159
A cruel and backward one.

Ever since I was a kid, my parents have streamed their broccoli in one of those electric steamers until it becomes soft to the point of having no crunch at all. The don't add anything to it either, they just eat weak ass broccoli.

A few months ago, my dad got a new grill, and wanted to use it for our dinner. I decided to go out with him to see what he's making and maybe give some input. He heated up the pan, and then threw in some broccoli and sliced carrots at the same time, with no spices or anything at all. A few minutes later, he adds like 2 cups of water. Luckily, my dad is not a prideful man, so I quickly took over and saved the veggies.

>>12761437
Me too. My friend is stupidly proud of his pea and ham soup, which is the only thing he can cook and I gave it to my dog it looked so rank. They are all in awe of simple shit I make for poker nights like curries or pulled pork.

>>12765709
This one gets me, so may people don't know how to cook broccoli and we've ended up with a generation of people who think they don't like it

>>12762394
This screams out for a why? Soggy popcorn sounds like a terrible idea.

>>12765838
Yeah I didn't know I liked it until I moved out. Turns out my parents can only cook meat, but even in that area they're lacking.

>>12764611
Looks lovely.

>>12765709
>>12765838
Why don't you like vegetables? It is literally impossible to do anything to vegetables that makes them taste bad, short of turning them to pure charcoal. It's sad how people like you think you like vegetables, but don't really.

>>12766012
wut

>>12766012
I never said I don't like vegetables, I just said my parents suck at cooking them. And you can do plenty to fuck vegetables up. Overcook them, over spice them, use the wrong spices, too much oil, use the wrong cooking method, etc. I'm actually a vegetarian, so I definitely like vegetables.

>>12758242
Not even pepe
Its apu

>>12765852
tastes good

>>12759842
where are you from anon?
where should i send FEMA?

>>12758348
kek based retarded /fit/izen

>>12750877
This lil nigga finna cute

>>12750973
I want to eat your sister's tuna salad :)

>>12764974
Seethe

>>12752148
I prefer unsalted butter and then salt it with rock salt after

>>12756571
>>12750982
retard

>>12753390
What does her pusy smell like

>>12751759
hehe

>>12758233
What do her panties smell like ?

>>12765709
Broccoli is one of those vegetables that genuinely needs absolutely no help. Steamed is pretty much the nicest way to eat it.

>>12758677
The problem there isn't the quantity of oil. It's the temperature of the oil.

>>12766557
Yeah no shit. A good deep fried pancake is heavenly

Any time my father cooks. The stupid monkey would burn ice cream

>>12758233

In her defense if you haven't had sex with your sister you really don't know whether the cake was better

>>12766736
>>12758233
>>12763444
>>12758840
saw this at Aldi's the other day and this post made me think of it
didn't buy it because it sounded terrible and I'm a cheap bastard

>>12766649
Well, it's not that difficult to burn future-ice cream when cooking the mix.

>>12765452
I don't think its expected, I don't and I am yet to see other foreigners do so.

>>12764611
I had that rice before it was awful

>>12766012
>being this retarded
You probably put white truffle oil on your broccoli

>>12766028
are you fucking scared of him?

>>12758708
Your roommate wants to fug, bro

>>12765004

why Kay's Cooking of course!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvJJ_IvLboo

Here are a few fun ones from my roomates:
>Ranch dressing on steak
>Baked beans in ramen
>ketchup on mac n cheese

Thank god these fuckers didnt actually cook if they did I would have got an aneurysm.

>>12766259
>>12761942

>>12761942
based ilocano

>>12755035
>I think this is very typical for the Midwest
I think not my dude

>>12766736
I want to eat his sister's moist cake

>>12758979
>I'm from California so basically all we eat is Mexican food
No you don't, holy shit.

>>12763375
What the fuck, whats wrong with your mom anon? Is she retarded?

>>12765667
>/r/4chan

>>12758332
>I used to eat some of the smaller and softer bones and tendons when I ate chicken because I saw my uncle do it.
Just going to point out that there's nothing wrong with chewing on cartilage or tendons.

If you're talking actual bones though, still messed up.

My fiance made ramen for me once. She has seen it served with egg, so she makes it normally, cracks an egg into it while its cooking and stirs it up, leaving it on the heat for several minutes.

It created a gray colored mush that was inedible.

Her mom came over to make her signature dish. It's some kind of Hispanic thing. Basically an omelette with just green beans inside and canned tomato puree poured over it. I gagged when I tried it. Mom was pretty pissed.

>>12768323
>gag because of egg and tomato puree and green beans
I hope you got dumped, because you don't deserve love.

>>12768336
Nah. That shit doesn't go together. And I'm not a picky eater.

>>12759709
>random goblin people would come in and play cards at my dinner table, during dinner. I had no idea who they were, I think they could have been the landlord's friends, they wouldn't ask for any food, water, or anything. They'd just come by to play cards. I never found out their names but they stopped when I said I had to study after meals and it was kind of distractin
holy fuck my sides
im sorry you had to grow up in whatever country you grew up in

>>12768323
>>12768336
He doesn't deserve love because of the racemixing, not because of this. That meal actually sounds pretty awful.

>>12758332
>>12759678
>>12759709
Here's your honorary screencap, sir. Put it on your desktop as a badge of honor.

>>12754431
what the fuck. I have lived in iowa my whole life and I have not heard of these.

>>12758791
never had cinnamon in a tomato sauce but i think ill try that later today. what do you think of lavender in tomato sauces? i think its pretty good
>>12755270
french fries and a1 actually sounds good. my sibling will occasionally take buffalo sauce and dip their fries in it

>>12752148
If you're not baking, you can just use less salt to season to compensate for the salted butter when frying or making a sauce or whatever, it comes out about the same regardless

>>12767432
of course, why didn't i think of that!

>>12762129
Fries dipped in milkshake was a popular American 1950’s teenager thing, I think it’s kinda gross but my friends like it

>>12770505
It's definitely normal. They're both just fatty junk foods and are a natural match.

>>12762129
These are all fine.

>>12759876
Fuck that bitch

>>12755507
My flatmates are the opposite, they act overly impressed when I make the simplest shit. It was amusing and cute at first but now it just makes me self-conscious. I just want to cook a goddamn omelette without them making a spectacle of it.

>>12759876
Dont be a fucking smooth brained retard then

>>12768633
I will. Thanks, Anon.

>>12750877
Ah-bloo-bloo