/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12768262
*meant spoiled milk

>>12768262
As my mom and grandmother got older, they couldn't eat much of the same food, then my brother became a semi-vegan and cooks crap.

Now I have only myself to cook for, so I make what I want.

About a year ago when I was first dead my cousins couldn’t make pork anymore so made me some nice beef balls to suck on

>>12768303
>About a year ago when I was first dead
>when I was first dead

>>12768262
Been fighting with my brother for years about how to prepare pizza dough. He claims his recipe is identical to the one which you have to memorize for the apprenticeship certification exam when you become a pizza baker in Italy, and has been passed on by the guilds for centuries - which is such an obvious bullshit, but he found it on some cooking forum and believes it.

>>12768354
Even if it's true, that only proves the recipe is inferior to dough recipes that have developed through further testing over the past few hundred years.

>>12768303
>Christ spends his free time shitposting on an Indonesian Basket Weaving message board

>>12768363
Yeah. Such traditional stuff might be interesting as a one time experience, but usually it's not what you'd want to prepare couple times per week.

>>12768262
I sincerely hope you continue to put mushrooms in it Anon.

>>12768303
I'm extremely nervous & intrigued, what's food like on the other side ghostanon?

>>12768401
I'd do this, but also let her know there are mushrooms in it and serve her nothing but plain white bread with butter explaining that he knows how she can't tolerate mushrooms when she's aware of them.

>>12768401
I intend to chop them up finely for my next batch and mask them with some other vegetables to test her psychic mushroom detection abilities.

>>12768539
make sure you make a thread with a mushroom picture whenever you do. we'll be waiting

>>12768262
Are you from the Midwest be chance? My in-laws there have some really retarded ideas about food. My mother in law doesn't want to eat anything with onions or garlic in it because she says that will upset her stomach. Whenever we cook for her we use both and she loves what we make. But if you tell her there's onions or garlic in something she'll pass on it and have a bowl of cereal instead. This sort of thing isn't uncommon among my in-laws.

>>12768539
A more subtle option would be to get some dried morels and porcinis, grind them to a powder and add it. I'd wager mucho dinero she wouldn't detect it but she'd rave about the depth of flavor from the pure umami it's adding.

>>12768262
>pig buttholes
>dick shaper machine

>>12770083
I actually like this idea. I'll probably give it a go.

>uncle starts 'keto'
>saves bacon grease
>downs a shot of it before he goes anywhere

>>12770336
Bear in mind that if she asks if there are mushrooms in it, and you tell her there aren't, and she eats it when there are mushrooms in it, you could be convicted for sexual assault.

>>12770485
do ketofags really do this?

>>12770485

>>12769593
>>12768262
What the fuck is up with women doing this? My mom absolutely hated lamb, like to the point she would claim that even just the smell would make her sick. A couple of times I just straight up exposed her bullshit by pretending the takeout I had was beef instead of lamb and asking her how it smells, and she'd say how great it was, right up until I revealed it was really lamb, and then all of a sudden "Ohh, ughh... I'm starting to feel so sick...."

Fucking ridiculous

>>12768262
LOL that's how a child reacts to finding out they ate something they thought they didn't like.

>>12768303
brb calling ghostbusters

>>12768262
haha, women are so stu-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNUbwijCKfw

>>12768262
no my family is pretty based when it comes to food,
but i am retarded with it, thats why i surf /ck/ because I am among like minded retards

>>12769593
My mom, and her side of the family, is the same, she gets bad digestive problems when there's excessive garlic, onions, or black pepper, or really anything.

>>12770509

>>12768303
>About a year ago when I was first dead

>>12768354
It's literally flour, yeast, salt, water and if you add anything else you're retarded. Or making some specialty crust but usually just retarded.

>>12772035
Gluten fags are like this. They did a test and they only got "sick" from gluten if they actually told them there was gluten in it afterwards.

Unless you have celiac, gluten intolerance is complete bullshit.

>>12772159
>brings up sex just because one or two other people did
You’re a fucking retard and you need to leave
>>12772366
>>12772149
>>12772035
>>12769593
>>12768262
So basically, there’s a large number of people who have phobias of certain foods despite their actual enjoyment of that food.
Is this genetic? Some kind of psychosis? It’s obviously very childish, so could the problem stem from childhood? Why the fuck are so many people picky about shit that they actually are completely willing to eat?

This entire thread is pissing me off. You have adults acting like fucking CHILDREN.

Kinda unrelated by my mom does this thing where she'll bitch and moan for food i cooked for me and I give her some then she'll complain about how she doesnt like it. Then i make the same dish later and she asks for some then again complains about it. Its so tiresome.

>>12772454
You're the retard. Fuck you, you piece of shit. You're going to get yours, I swear to God. You filthy shitlicking scumbag.

>>12772480
>goes into threads to try and create arguments about gender and race
>gets called out
>freaks out and uses cuss words to make “sentences”
Literally nobody wants you here or anywhere else. Maybe try putting down the phone and picking up a noose.

>>12772504
That's OK. Sorry I was rude.

>>12768262
Tell your aunt she can make her own stew. There's a difference between not liking something and being offensively picky. Fucking embarrassing that people like that exist in this world. Add 2x the mushrooms next time you mad lad.

>>12772475
Just say no and cite that her criticism is worthless and uncouth.

>>12772475
Learn to say no. She had her chance.

>>12770485
boomers are retarded

>>12768303
>can't eat pork when you're dead
>beef balls are fine
>for sucking on
Kind of checks out. Teeth fall out about a month after death.

>make dinner for family like they asked me to
>everyone is on their phone or watching TV or some other shit and tells me they'll be right there
>food gets cold in the mean time while they take like 10 mins to come by
>they act like I'm ripping their heads off when I ask that they stop doing this and just come eat when I call them cause I want them to actually enjoy the food it took me like an hour to make
>sister usually takes one or two bites and then tosses the rest in the fridge to throw out in like three days when she remembers it's in there
>sometimes she will come by an hour after I said it was done and just microwave it to shit, leave and forget it, come back and microwave it to shit again, etc., until she finally eats it and then complains that the food wasn't that great
>they wonder why I ignore whatever they request me to make and just make the simplest shit I can think of
Only reason I still cook for them when I'm over sometimes is because my brother is the only one that isn't a cock and will actually sit down to eat with me or help out when he can.

>>12772658
>>12772659
I do say no now.

>>12772774
My girlfriend is the same way with putting shit away and then forgetting it for days until it gets thrown out. She doesn’t usually do the other autistic bullshit though.

Your sister would definitely annoy the fuck out of me. Hope her pussy is good or her future husband is gonna regret every decision in his life.

>>12772454
>So basically, there’s a large number of people who have phobias of certain foods despite their actual enjoyment of that food.
A lot of people don't like the idea of specific foods even though they like the taste of them. My SiL won't knowingly eat lamb or veal because she can't stand the idea of eating baby animals. The same woman is convinced she allergic to black pepper. People from landlocked places often think seafood is disgusting, which makes sense - for generations they couldn't get good examples of it. The idea that it's gross is the culture of the region. My father grew up with a prejudice against garlic he picked up from my racist grandfather. who saw it as Italian and thus bad. (It was fitting when my aunt married and Italian guy!) But dad grew to love garlic, though I remember him being skeptical about it when I was a kid. To this day my mother won't eat mushrooms even though she like the taste of them because of some texture issue she has with them. She won't eat green peas either. Plenty of folks avoid blood sausages because they can't handle the idea of eating blood. I've known people who wouldn't eat meat if it was on the bone because they didn't like to be reminded it came from animals.

People's ideas about food definitely get in the way of their enjoyment of it. It's pretty common. Think about germophobes.

>>12773668
It makes a lot of sense that these people just have weird phobias, but what bothers me is:
>eat food
>like food
>find out [bad thing] is in food
>act sick and mortified about it
I understand not liking textures or flavors individually, or even being afraid of certain foods due to culture, but once you’ve eaten something and enjoyed it with no physical issues it seems quite strange. It’s literally childish to be completely okay with something, or to even like something, and then to find out there’s one ingredient you don’t agree with and throw a fit. Or for that one anon who said his sister or w/e would enjoy the smell of lamb UNTIL she knew it was lamb and then would wretch and act sick. If it was something they inherently knew was bad, they would react accordingly whether they knew what it was or not. It’s all completely in their head which is what makes me think it’s something deeper.

>>12773692
>>12773668
when people do this you need to shame them. say "what are you, sick?" and imply that something is wrong with their brain because of the way they act.

>>12773692
You're forgetting the power of psychology when it comes to enjoying food. Someone may be prejudiced against a culture and that could ruin their enjoyment of food from it. Often people are prejudiced against specific ingredients they thought were gross when they were children, failing to realize they'd like those things if they tried them as adults. My mother was in her late 40's when she finally realized she liked eggplant. This can cut the other way as well. A mediocre meal served in an amazing setting can seem much better than it actually is. That's why good restaurants put effort into decor and service - that has an effect on customer's enjoyment of the meal. It's also the reason a cold bottle of retsina on the beach on vacation in Greece seems like pure magic, but when you get home and manage to find a bottle of the stuff at your wine shop you realize it's disgusting.

>>12773727
It cuts both ways, though. There are a lot of really crappy steaks consumed everyday in America because the idea of eating steak is held in such high regard. No one is really immune to this. It just manifest in more extreme ways with some people than others.

>>12768262
They're all retarded. They do literally everything wrong. Everything is mashed up, overcooked, overseasoned, reheated in a microwave. They buy fresh produce and then freeze it. They insist on paying for imported even though it's all produced domestically and they can't even tell the difference.

They can't follow a recipe even if they're life depended on it. Everything is made from a boxed seasoning kit. My stepmother in particular is terrible. She insists everything be made in specific asinine ways and when you ask her why she can provide no explanation but refuses to try any changes. If you do sneak a change in she will be amazed by the results, but never acknowledge that she should be more open-minded in the future.

>>12773772
In the past most home cooks learned to cook by rote from the previous generation. The aspiration was to be as good as grandma, so you copied exactly what she did. There was no youtube. If you wanted to try something new it would be a foodgore recipe from Good Housekeeping.

>>12773753
true, i think it's much worse to experience extreme disgust at something harmless because they have some stupid idea about the food than it is to enjoy something that's bad because they have a stupid idea about the food

>>12773795
I don't think it's a choice for people because this shit gets wrapped up as a part of their identity. Are you or aren't you the kind of person who eats at McDonald's? Are you offended by the idea of a meal without meat? Do you like spicy food? Sushi? Ranch dressing on pizza? The answers to these questions are more than just your taste preferences. Whether you're conscious of it or not they're also part of how you identify yourself. One of the few ways a child can exert his will is to say, "I won't eat that." Keep that up long enough and it becomes part of who you are along with your education and social status. All of that has an effect on your food preferences. Which is why you don't see Popeye's in rich neighborhoods or sushi joints in poor ones. Advertisers know this as well. They have a pretty accurate idea of who eats what where and target the advertising accordingly. You can be aware of this and choose to try to overcome it, but most folks don't have the time or inclination.

my parents are retarded with eggs. I thought I didn't like eggs until I was 16 because my mom could only make scrambled, and she'd burn the shit out of them, putting nothing on them.

A couple years ago I took my parents out to breakfast while I was visiting and ordered my eggs over easy. My mom couldn't look while I ate them because she was retching

>>12768262
My mom's always been a pretty good cook, her pork chops were sex on a bone. I love her, but she does really fucking stupid things from time to time. >one day, she decided to try baking the pork chops since her sister told her about how unhealthy it is to fry stuff so often
>seasons them as per usual and lobs them into the oven without a second thought
"Anon, come down here for dinner!"
>these motherfuckers were pale as hell
>none of the seasonings had started any semblance of cooking
>i take off the bone as i always do and, of course, the inside was pink as piglet's taint
>i tell her about it and she insists it's still fine when it very clearly isn't
>eventually she relents and puts them back into the oven
>for 10 minutes
>at this point she's starting to get pissed because we didn't rip into them so we just eat them
>this does not mean that they came out better
>sure enough, my brother and i got food poisoning
>my mom was quick to deny it and instead claimed that we must have the flu despite being shown that the symptoms match up
>i ate two and got fucked up for a day or two since i forgot that i could just throw it up
>my little brother wasn't as fortunate
>the poor bastard ate SIX because they tasted good enough at the time
>bedridden for half a week

To this day she still says that we just had the flu.

>>12773970
I would like to follow up with saying my mom can't cook anything else for shit either.

>>12773970
I have a SiL who thinks runny yolks will kill you. She also drinks a glass of 2% milk everyday to be "healthy" and is always talking about superfoods. She seems to think lowfat dairy and consuming superfoods will somehow magically make up for all the other crap she eats. Of course she (and her whole family) are obese.

>make dish with hot peppers
>"why is it so spicy anon, geeze"
>make same dish without peppers
>"this is really bland anon"
it wouldn't be too bad if I could just stop making it, but they keep requesting this dish and claiming they really like it when all they do every fucking time is complain about how it's too spicy or too bland

>>12774082
Maybe just use less peppers then...?

>>12768354
Pizza isn't even centuries old; it was invented to celebrate Italian unification.

>>12774044
>tfw as a kid my mom would throw a fucking tantrum and say she was going to leave or never cook again if you dared criticize her cooking or suggest any sort of changes she could make
>this especially happened with any sort of new shit she read about in a magazine and never tried to make before
>friend invites me to his house one day
>his mom makes dinner
>she asks how it is and I say delicious but he says it needed a bit less scallions
>feel the pit of my stomach drop in anticipation of the absolute shitstorm I'm about to witness
>"Yeah I thought I put in a little too much. I'll adjust that next time honey."
And that's when I learned my family is just fucked.

Just family members buying shit they don't need. I got an aunt that constantly buys all those stupid infomercial products that claim to do something incredibly specific and then turn out to be shitty compared to regular fucking utensils that are already in your kitchen. She's got like 4 cabinets packed with garbage like that and refuses to get rid of any of it and barely uses it anyway.

Same thing goes for electronics. She told me she wanted a laptop and I asked what was wrong with her tablet since a laptop wouldn't really do anything she already uses it for much better. So she replied that she's getting a new tablet too. I asked why she didn't just get a tablet that can attach a keyboard like a surface pro since functionally it would be the same thing for her. She looked at me like I had two heads and said "Well I just want it." She then proceeded to buy a new ipad and macbook and spent like 4x what she should have and is constantly complaining that she never has any money to go out or do anything.

>>12772366
Lamb guy here, my mom actually does the gluten thing too lmao

>>12774637
Old people lose their eyesight. She's better off with the laptop for the larger screen.

>>12774769
Her eyesight is fine though. She never had any problems with her old 10 inch tablet. She just has this idea in her head that the two are fundamentally different for some reason even though she does nothing with it besides go on facebook and play crappy mobile games.

>>12772454
Almost every american has some food related trauma

For me it's corn, fuck corn

>>12775064
So you happily eat something with corn in it and then when someone tells you there's corn in it you make 5 year old mock-vomiting motions and then go to make yourself throw up?

>make nice mushroom and veggie spaghetti for family
>father proceeds to murder it with ketchup

>>12768262
>paternal grandparents live solely off of hamburgers and hotdogs on white bread
>literally don't eat anything but hamburgers ant hot dogs
>both die at 71 and 73 from colon cancer
>uncle who ate nothing but hot dogs on white bread develops colon cancer at 56
boy I am laffin

>>12774283
Lol.

>>12774283
holy shit that sounds like my family

>>12774769
There are large text settings for the vision impaired on ALL smart devices

>>12774082
de-seed your peppers and/or cut the spice with a little sugar or acid (like citrus juice or vinegar)

I grew up eating overcooked meat because my mom thinks that meat that isn't well-done and devoid of juices is undercooked and going to kill her. She also decided that she's lactose intolerant for no reason after a guest at our house said something about being lactose intolerant, and, of course, she works this "fact" about herself into conversations whenever possible.

>>12775262
reminds me of my sister who claimed to have celiac disease after I was officially diagnosed but never sought to get a diagnosis herself despite the procedure (endoscopy+biopsy) being covered by her insurance
now she claims that her "cilia have healed" and she can drink regular beer now
meanwhile I am bedridden if I so much as get cross-contaminated

>>12774082
Yeah wtf I made my gf toast with pureed Carolina reapers spread on top and she said it was too spicy, but when I gave her plain wonderbread she said it was too plain like can you believe how needy some people are???

>>12775279
Assholes with fake gluten intolerance endanger people who actually have celiac because now the usual response to anyone asking if something is gluten free is just to say yeah whatever and then serve them the same shit you'd serve anyone else.

>>12775374
I'm waiting for her to act like she's healed, eat pizza, then try to feed it to me. I'm more than willing to eat a bite just to prove a point that I actually have celiac and she's always been nothing but an attention whore.

>>12775262
>I grew up eating overcooked meat because my mom thinks that meat that isn't well-done and devoid of juices is undercooked and going to kill her.
My mom was the same way even though she is a nurse and should have known better, now that all the kids are moved out though she is cooking meat better.

>>12773692
you can be mentally repulsed by it
imagine if you were eating a nice meal and at the end the chef came over and told you he took a giant shit in your stew because he hates his job

>>12775756
>eat a fantastic soup
>best in your life
>chef tells you he took a giant shit in it
>steal his idea
>create restaurant chain
>hire gimp and feed him laxatives to take giant shit in soup
>make millions
>never reveal the secret ingredient
>mfw

>>12775756
It is kinda like that. It's more like finding a hair in your food. There's no real reason to be disgusted by that if the food is cooked, but people still are. It's the idea of the food being bad having more weight than whether the food is actually bad.

>>12768303
now this is peak schizo posting, good shit

>>12768262
>pic
is this ture????????????????????

>>12772774
>food gets cold in the mean time while they take like 10 mins to come by

Holy shit my gf does this EVERY TIME
>'dinner's ready in 10'
>'OK!'
>9 mins later she starts doing some non-urgent shit
>end up eating anyway
>she gets mad because I didn't wait for her

>>12775238
There's little enough screen real estate on those things as it is without doubling the size of everything on display.

>>12775883
Best way to alleviate this if they don't give a shit and always make you wait on them is to tell them the food is ready way before it's actually ready.

>>12768262
My mom used to overcook everything, literally everything, because she used to be on the phone while cooking and didn't pay attention to shit. I thought steak was just supposed to taste fucking disgusting until I was 17 and a girl I was dating cooked me some because my mom always cooked it into a fucking hockey puck. Not even well done, she'd overcook it into a tough, dry mess and then slather it in ketchup or A1 to mask how gross it was. The girl I was dating thought I was fucked up when I told her I didn't want her to cook steak because my only experience eating it was that shit.

>dad won't eat the skin of the chicken, in pretty much any situation
>mom always tries to make her meal order smaller than what's on the menu
>GF smears her grilled cheese with mayo after the fact (of grilling)
pretty tame but all I could really come up with

>>12775316
>puts a jalapeño in a whole pot of soup
>family procedes to bitch
=/=
>give someone pure hell in food form
>they wretch, cough, sweat, and puke

>>12775756
Yeah but human feces, that generations upon generations of white people have learned to be repulsed from, is a lot different than actual food that generations and generations of white people have learned to consume regularly to not die.

>>12775883
Your gf is literally trying to get your attention because she has some type of emotional need that she’s too stupid to voice directly

>>12768303
Did they turn you into beef balls or pork balls?

>>12774082
I know that feel. It's actually kind of amazing the infinitesimal quantities of pepper my grandma can detect in food. I made some mashed potatoes and realized I was out of black pepper so I used a really small amount of cayenne instead. Everyone tried it and couldn't detect any hint of prickly spice sensation, but then my grandma comes running in asking for a bottle of water and asking what the hell I put in it. Like she can't handle even the tiniest bit of spice.

A guy I know refuses to eat any cooked meat if it has a bone
He says that it ruins the taste
No tbone steaks, shanks or ribeye

He also thinks carrot cake and pumpkin cake are "gay" because they have vegtables in them

>>12777181
Ask him if he's gay because he constantly has a ton of bones in him.

>>12777211
Fucking kek

>>12768303
what

>>12773727
Because if they were truly averse to a food, the wouldn't enjoy associated stimuli, either. The fact that the fear is compelled by a more platonic understanding of the meal suggests a more selfless, pathological aversion akin to that of a child refusing to eat vegetables even at their own detriment.

I don't think the point is the aversity to the food but the after the fact reaction that's annoying. If some Chinese guy made me a stew and I found out it had horses eyes, locust legs and sea anenome scrotum in it I highly doubt I'd give a flying fuck, let alone start gagging

>>12768262
My mother refuses to eat anything that isn't cooked to death. Grew up poor in Puerto Rico where quality ingredients were non-existent, best way to avoid getting sick or parasites from food was to make sure it was burnt to a crisp. She also has no real culinary education, but insists she knows what she's doing and gets flustered if you offer criticism or advice. Often uses the wrong cooking tools for the job, like using an old-ass bent-up meat fork to manage bacon in a frying pan rather tongs. Poor technique as well--she'll end up curling all the bacon into a tangled, partially burnt mess over medium-high heat instead of keeping the strips flat and straight to cook evenly over medium-low.

>>12769593
My mother is the same way. Claims she can't stomach onions and garlic, but happily eats them when she can't identify them. Same thing with chicken--she insists any cut other than chicken breast grosses her out. Cooked a dish with chopped up chicken thighs one time and didn't tell her it was thigh, she ate it happily ever after. It's all psychological.

>>12772774
>It's cold now, guess I'll microwave it.

My wife does this sometimes and I basically just laugh at her. Get off your phone when I tell you bitch, I put a plate literally infront of you.

My gf is always amazed when dinners and especially breakfast take less than 15 minutes. I made french toast and eggs the other day and she was shocked when I handed her a plate like 6 minutes after standing up to make it. There's also my 'greatest chicken breast ever made' which is literally just your 9 minute pan chicken breast, but of course in the midwest everyone grew up with 45 minute oven chicken breasts and overcooked egg casseroles, so I cant be too surprised

>spend over a hundred bucks making gourmet meal for family event
>literally nobody cares beyond "yeah that was good tho," and leaving
>next event they ask me to cook again
>make cheapest fucking trash texmex I can, less than twenty bucks
>everyone raves about the food
Peasants

>>12777337
This is what I was trying to say earlier with
>>12772454 and
>>12773692

It’s not something about food-aversion learned through biological avenues, it’s something completely psychological or even sociological that compels them to react to [insert common, accepted, and normal food item here] like they are extremely adverse to its consumption despite evidence of them being able to tolerate it. That literally doesn’t make sense when for thousands of years humans have been scouring the world for any potential foodsource, even to the point of letting dairy and meats rot to “preserve” them. It would seem biologically everything is pointing to these people shutting the fuck up and eating, but as children it was the only real control they had over their identity and their life, so as adults they cling to it with childlike instinct because they’re afraid their identity is going to be stolen from them or something.
I don’t know if they realize that the identity of “I am capable and willing to eat delicious foods of a diverse variety” is a much better identity than “if someone puts eggs in my food I’m gonna throw up and cry, but I’ll eat them if they’re in there and i just don’t know it”

>>12769593
Flyover fag here. So many people this way have underdeveloped taste buds because half these farmers and people in the areas I grew up in didn't have garlic or many other staple seasonings now because they were apparently too expensive back in the day. At least that's what my mother tells me. My dad outright hates garlic and cringes when I start digging in the spice cabniet to get out more stuff. He also hates salt as well. My parents are basically the living white people can't handle spice meme. Its why I started cooking and using fresh ingredients and more spices on my moms recipes and my parents either think it's to spicy or there's a certain ingredient that shouldn't of been in it.
>puts Italian sausage in more traditional style Italian pasta
>mother and father ask why I'm putting sausage in pasta
>older brother thinks its tamales
>they all don't like it minus girlfriend who likes to cook with me and try new things
Why even bother cooking for boomers salt and pepper is their final form no wonder millennials don't eat at their shit chains.

My parents keep buying different cheese and deli meat without finishing it and leave it in the fridge until it's fucking moldy and then continue to buy more until I finally throw the shit out. They also waste food all the time and won't eat leftovers.

Funny. When I was a kid I claimed to not like mushrooms. We always ate Thanksgiving dinner at my Aunt's house and I loved her gravy, loved loved loved it. Finally she admitted that it did indeed contain mushrooms. Everyone in the family knew except me. I love mushrooms and eat them every chance I get. Funny how different people react. I learned something that day.

>>12777996
>So many people this way have underdeveloped taste buds because half these farmers and people in the areas I grew up in didn't have garlic or many other staple seasonings
Also no garlic because there were no Italians or Greeks. But there's another reason Midwest farmers a couple generations ago could get by without much in the way of seasoning: they had much better ingredients to begin with. Even in Italy farmhouse cooking is never highly spiced because it doesn't need to be. Just show off excellent ingredients simply and you're done. My wife has a family recipe from her Midwest farmer grandmother. It's nothing more than green peas and potatoes in a simple white sauce. Make that with supermarket ingredients and you get tasteless crap. But she's done it with garden fresh peas, freshly dug potatoes, butter and milk right from the farm and guess what? It's absolutely fucking delicious. Because simple farmhouse is great if you have farm fresh ingredients. But it falls apart when you're stuck with what's available at the supermarket. That's what your parents grew up with and it's the reason why their taste is so grim. Their sensibilities would actually result in good food if you lived on a family farm, but you don't.

>>12778021
>They also waste food all the time and won't eat leftovers.
I have in-laws who do this. To me it's unconscionable.

>>12774044
How did she not process that they need to stay in the oven longer than when you fry them? Or that they didn't looked cooked at all?

>>12778070
Yup nothing to argue with there anon. My mom used to have a garden but she stopped using it. As soon as walmart moved into our town I feel like a lot of the food everyone made went to shit.

>>12778098
Any farm stands near you? Like Amish or whatever? If you get fresh stuff from them instead of walmart you can cook it to your parents' taste and it will still be good.

>>12768303
are you high

>>12774073
all women are amateur nutritionists

>>12778031
This is how a normal person reacts. People who react differently have some kind of complex or identity problems.

>>12778070
That makes a lot of sense. A lot of people’s cooking is mediocre (or outright bad) because they have shitty ingredients and are too lazy to prepare them properly.

Even things like mayonnaise is basically two fucking ingredients but nobody can be bothered. Nobody grinds up steaks for meat, they buy low quality ground beef made from hundreds of different cows. I think if people actually grew some of their own food and learned to substitute convenience with actual patience and work, a lot of people’s cooking would improve dramatically.

>>12778439
I get it, especially when they become mothers. They want to feel like they're doing a good job feeding their children. And this is easy to prey on. All you have to do is market your product as something healthy for kids and they'll buy it. It also makes them susceptible to fads and misinformation about nutrition. Then again lots of money is made from this shit, so the concerned person will find themselves inundated by it.

>>12778490
>I think if people actually grew some of their own food and learned to substitute convenience with actual patience and work, a lot of people’s cooking would improve dramatically.
That's how things were back when large chunks of the country were dominantly agrarian. Then the 20th century happened, which really killed American home cooking. As the quality of ingredients tumbled people had no incentive to cook grandma or great-grandma's recipes because they took a long time and didn't come out all that great. Cooking became a matter of mixing a can of this with a box of that and a frozen bag of something else because it was quicker and the fresh ingredients available didn't often reward the effort of bothering with them. The boomers and their parents went along with this because after the Depression and WWII as long as food was cheap they were happy. The generation after them came up eating frozen pizza and tendies.

This is MASSIVELY minor compared to everyone else but i thought it was funny.
>Make mac and cheese for family
>end up talking about cooking pasta
>I say the water needs to be as salty as the ocean for flavor and faster boiling
>Mom says you dont need any salt since it dosent change flavor at all and its useless
>Dad says you only need a pinch or two and it makes it taste better and last longer

>be me
>getting ready to smoke some brisket
>come home with a bag of apple wood chips for the smoker
>girlfriend is interested in the chips
>gives them a smell
>"it doesn't smell like apples anon"
>well the flavor comes out in the smoke
>"what makes it apple flavored then?"
>oh honey we have so much to talk about

>Be me when younger
>Mum tells me to try prawns, I'm like 7 or some shit
>I don't want to eat your weird sea creatures, they look hideous
>She makes me try them anyways
>Get food poisoning
>A few years later
>Decide to give prawns a second chance when I'm over at a friend's place and they offer me some prawn dumplings
>Eat one
>The taste is vile, struggle to eat just one dumpling
>Go home
>Get food poisoning again
>By this point convince myself I have some kind of prawn allergy
>Decline prawns at every opportunity
>Current year
>Decide to give prawns one last chance when I'm having dinner with my in-laws
>They know about my hatred for prawns
>Eat some
>They're fucking delicious
>Proceed to eat many more prawns
>Everyone is shocked
>Now eat prawns whenever the occasion arises
Feels good man, glad I kept trying. Garlic prawns are godly. Fuck my mum though, she always tricked me into eating weird shit when I was a kid. She used to eat raw apples and onions, like, just bite into them, and convinced me to do both once because I thought it was normal. Never again.

>>12778720
Same kind of thing happened to me with uni. First time I tried it was at a less than scrupulous sushi place and it tasted awful. I thought I just hated uni. Tried it again years later and it was delicious. Realized my first exposure to the stuff was with some that had gone off but was served to me anyways. Got to be scrupulous about seafood.

>>12778720
>she used to eat raw apples, just bite into them
this is normal as fuck though?

>>12778753
Shit, I meant to write tomatoes, not apples. Something went wrong there.

>>12768303
>when I was first dead

>>12776671
>mom always tries to make her meal order smaller than what's on the menu
Execute her

>>12778021
>go to mom's place to cook
>ask if she has some ingredients I need or if I should buy some
>assures me her fridge is fully stocked
>check fridge
>like 80% of the shit in there was long expired or way past the best by date except for like the eggs and milk
>check her pantry
>like 80% of the shit in there is expired/moldy/stale
>barely eaten chip bags, cereal, tons of boxed shit
>even found a box of some hamburger helper way in the back that was best by dec 1997
She got mad at me for wasting food when she found out I tossed most of the ancient trash in there, until I showed her the dates on some of the worst shit. Of course she promptly went back to the store to fill everything all back up again, and I'm sure if I wait about a decade most of it will still be there.

>>12778759
I watched a slice of life anime where the high school girls would just bite into tomatoes so there has to be SOMEWHERE that this isn't weird, right? I doubt the creators would 100% fabricate a daily life routine for something that's not regular. Yeah, it's just a TV show but I would expect it to be based on a speck of truth at least.

Did anybody else know that kid who hated eggs, and so you told him/her there were eggs in cake to make them upset?

The alternative version of this kid already knows about the eggs, and will just tell you how disgusting anything is because of the eggs.

>>12778248
Got a farmers market that just started in town like this year or so but hardly any variety because its such a small town just a few basic vegetables like and corn and some fruit that can be grown in this area.

>>12778640
Agree with you anon, you can never have enough salt.

>>12778687
thats more cute than anything desu

>>12777419
Wow what a happy marriage, you must be in the middle east to have married at 12 years old

>when mom made beef roast she would just hard boil it for hours with some bouillon in the pot
>it came out tough and extremely boring
>any veggies she tossed in soaked in the boring, poorly seasoned beef flavor
>my dad would make beef barley soup with the leftovers
>it also turned out pretty bad thanks to the meat
>finally told them after years of just dealing with it that I disliked it greatly and probably wouldn't eat it when they made it
The got a little bent out of shape about it, but it was the only meal they would make that I disliked. They generally cooked good food, aside from some random experiments that were lackluster but not terrible, so them always wanting to make and eat this shitty "roast" baffled me

>>12778759
That's normal, too.

>>12779254
I mean if they insist on boiling meat give them this recipe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49SuLvX0X7E
No one likes criticism without the constructive part

>>12778995
I knew a kid who read in a science book in second grade that cheese is made with bacteria cultures so he swore off eating cheese and even told his mom to stop buying any lunchables with the little blocks of cheese and crackers cause he just wouldn't eat it. He still loved the pizza ones and would eat a lot of pizza whenever they offered us some at school though, until someone asked him if he knew the mozzarella on the pizza was cheese. He legit stopped eating pizza for like 3-4 years until we were in 6th grade and he was tired of getting made fun of every time we ate pizza and he made those fake ass gagging noises like he was gonna barf. Then whenever we had pizza and he was there and someone brought it up he would pretend not to know what anyone was talking about when they mentioned how retarded he used to be.

>>12776891
So what? She is mentally repulsed by it, no matter how stupid the reason why

>>12779128
All women are mentally children.

>>12777990
Thank you, anon, for teaching me that adverse and averse are two different words.

>>12779275
My mom actually does fine with corned beef, but for whatever reason gets chuck roast and just boils the hell out of it for hours on end

>>12779277
I had a friend that got super dramatic when someone had a banana during lunch in elementary school. He would gag really loud and move away fast and sit as far away from that person as possible. I know some people just hate the texture or the taste, but man don't freak out and run away when someone pulls out a banana. I also have a roommate that eats bananas all the time despite hating the texture, so it's great to just here him gag every time he eats one

>>12778927
Does she not cook?

>>12773970
>Mfw my mom always could cook but drank and worked too often to cook until my brother and I moved out.

>>12768303

>>12775139
Lmao I can just picture his reasoning here
>Son made spaghetti dinner
>Mushrooms and veggies
>No tomato
>Spaghetti, no tomato sauce...
>???
>Fuck it, add ketchup
>Now spaghetti has proper tomato sauce
>iamresourceful.jpeg

>>12775139
>>12780221

The mental image of this is hilarious.

>>12779662
>forcing down bananas while gagging
>>>/lgbt/

>>12780004
Rarely, unless it's just putting boxed shit in a pan with some water.

>>12768303
Based

>>12769593

Your in-laws 100% watch s3viage.

>>12770485

Based and boomerpilled.

>>12778604
I’m part of that frozen pizza and tendies generation and it makes me genuinely angry that I have parents that are completely lazy and retarded

I cook regularly when I can

>>12778720
>>12778759
I understand raw onions being horrid but raw tomatoes are delicious, as long as they’re not shitty cheap tomatoes

>>12779313
At least someone learned something, kek

>>12778927
my mom does this but insists that i'm crazy for thinking that spices that expired in 2002 or cake icing that went bad in 2008 should be thrown out. the funny thing is she's an amazing cook its just she almost never uses pantry goods other than flour and sugar

>>12781114
>tfw gotta either drive like an hour away or start planting my own shit if I want good tomatoes

>>12770083
>umami

I love this thread.

My mum :
> Stores tiny amounts of leftovers in plastic bags. Goes off 9 times out of 10
>Some gets frozen, anonymous plastic wrapped dingleberries in freezer
>Cooks eggs in the microwave
>Cooked a salmon fillet in the microwave once
>Can't taste off food
>Cooked meat and 3 veg every night of my Yung life
>Has a bomb ass garden, doesn't use the produce because dad won't eat most of it

Dad:
>Salt before trying meal always
>Won't eat most vegetables if he can recognise them
>Stops eating if you tell him what's in it
>Overcooked meat only, scared of blood
>Once cooked pasta for so long it boiled over and disintegrated into goop. Still ate it. Didn't clean up after. >thinks duck fat is some kind of magic for some reason
>Favorite green is icsberg lettuce
>Weight loss shakes
>Hot chips at work
Bowel cancer survivor obviously

I escaped and cook with a wide variety of ingredients weekly.

>>12768262
>my dad (not biological)
>grocery shopping
>picks up items of food and looks at them for blemishes before putting in basket, never seems to find a bad item
>get home, me peeling potatoes and cutting beans padre picked up, areas of very visible blemishes, even some rot.
>notice every time now, he pretends to look, but has no idea what the fuck he's doing

>>12782917
>Another time grocery shopping with dad
>he picks up asparagus (think to myself, finally a non-bland item) "these are on special, $2 a bunch"
>I say "No, they're 3.50, sign says so
>he proclaims "sign at entrance said $2 a bunch
>mfw no face when sign was for brocolini, not fucking Asparagus

>>12782927
>phone call from senpai, mom on phone "Dad's making potato bake, what do you put in it?"
>Are-you-fucking-kidding-me.gif plays on my face
>explain, very simple
>"So no milk? He said are you sure no milk?"
>Yes, I'm sure
>get there that night, wet as fuck, potato bake, practically no cheese on top.
>"Did you not put an egg in the cream or not enough cheese in it?"
>"I did, I think I just needed to bake it a few more minutes so some more moisture from milk would evaporate"
>"I said no milk/confused"
>"It would have been fine with just a few more minutes"

>>12782953
>mother never cooks, doesn't know how to
>me cooking "You're doing this/that wrong, omg"
>fml

Also only eats meat if it's cooked, i.e. rubber, and will always not eat parts of it that are different, not only gristle, but any form of texture or color that isn't the same.

>>12768262
This is one of the better pastas, and it's been a while since I've seen it.

>>12768303
Huh?

>>12774044
Food poisoning from eating raw pork?
I mean, in here you could get maybe some parasites if you're unlucky. Was that is the US? Terrible hygiene.

>>12768262
>she puts a hand over her mouth and says she needs to go to the bathroom and stays in there retching and spitting into the toilet for like 15 minutes
>comes back out and tells me to never put mushrooms in it again because they make her sick and they're disgusting
I would wait until the evening was over and then I'd call her to tell her she was no longer welcome in my home.
That's unacceptable conduct.

>>12774637
My mom does that with used tupperware-type containers. She has a full cabinet of it, and since they do not fit normally, she separated the boxes from the lids into two different drawers. I'd say 90% of those containers are unusable because they cannot find the corresponding pair of box/lid.

>>12775156
Where the fuck are you from? That sounds absolutely cartoonish.

>>12777181
He is probably a faggot that sucks dicks.

>>12782808
Are you a bong?

>>12782998
Why the fuck do you write stupid memes in between your greentext stories. Are you a fat female with glasses?

>>12783226
Probably just a young 16 year old that discovered 4chan via r/4chan or greentext stories.
He tried.

>>12775883
I had the opposite issue.
>Mom: "Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes! Go tell Dad!"
>Tell Dad
>Dad and I convene on table once 10 minutes has elapsed
>Table is set, but where is food? Still on stove...
>After being burned like this many times, Dad learns to add ~20min to stated time till dinner
>eventually starts being late to dinner
>Mfw no image
>Mom's food is still good so I don't care

>Cook something sometimes at mom's house
>She wants some
>If meat: You can't be eating all that meat at this time of night
>Anything else: Eats some of it and leaves it in the fridge to rot
>Chastised me for not eating stuff when I was kid with the usual starving Africans bullshit and goes on to do what I did then
>Younger family members ask for a peach
>Nibbles the outsides, leaves 70% of the fucking fruit untouched
>In the trash it goes
>Brought some expensive deli meat one day way back
>Relative comes in, takes one slice for herself, nibbles it and leaves it there on the counter
At my job it's baffling to see how many people take a sample from the samplers, eat part of it and leave it on the shelves or even in the fucking freezer. These 'adults' never really grew up and I have a gigantic pet peeve for anyone who's a picky eater or doesn't know how to cook.

Bonus: My grandmother would take four or five dishes of leftover food and reheat them together on the stove, coming out as a dark brown mess. Fed the dog some of that and gave her diarrhea.

>>12768262
People born before 1980 shouldn't be allowed to access the internet.

>>12783366
you misspelled "after" reddit

>>12768303

>>12774283
It's the opposite in my family. If I criticise my mother's cooking, my dad will get pissed at me and call me ungrateful, whereas she'll just go "Oh well, I'll do it different next time."

>>12782054
Planting your own is fun and easy anon. Just try it.

>>12772454
It's called the "Nocebeo effect"
Basically, when you're told that something will cause a side effect, it can actually cause the side effect, even though the thing never actually causes that effect normally.
Some people have been convinced that an ingredient will cause harm, so it actually does cause some harm if they recognize the ingredient in some fashion.

>>12774283
>tell mom that dinner's "tasty"
>she shits her pants and starts throwing stuff everywhere because in her deranged mind tasty is a backhanded compliment that merely means it "tastes like something"
>I am autistic, twelve years old, and what the fuck is happening?

>>12774283
>mothers cooking
>eating things you don’t find in your school garbage
Is this what normal childhood is like?

Despite being an outstanding baker (I've been trying for years to get her to sell her cookies and breads) my mother is a generally mediocre cook and while not really a picky eater per se going to certain restaurants with her is god awful because if she can't find something on the menu that's perfect as-is she'll find something close to what she wants and then try to make multiple substitutions so it's just right because that's how she eats. When she cooks for herself, she makes the same recipe and same sides and adds the same condiments and serves it the same way every time because that's just how she likes it. Her morning coffee has ten different ingredients and when she travels she brings all of them with her in little baggies and containers so she can have it no matter where she is. It can take her more than a week to eat a leftover fast food hamburger because she'll take a bite, leave it for two days, take two more bites and then leave it again.

>>12774283
My mom always fishes for my opinion whenever she makes something new because she knows I'll be brutally honest and she trusts my taste.

>>12778935
Italians like to eat tomatoes straight up with a bunch of salt. I've tried it and its not bad, but better suited to meatier varieties rather than the juicy ones.

>>12784158
>>12768303

>>12783210
Aus - bong colony

>>12783813
>mother didn’t die during childbirth
>having a school
Is this an average childhood?

>>12778935
Growing up in Thailand, my family grew tomatoes. We ate them with salt, and they were really tasty. That'd also eat cantaloupe and honeydew with salt. Actually really good; salt is a really good counterpoint to the natural sweetness and texture of memo .

>>12782808
>overcooked meat only scared of blood
i fucking hate people like this. its not even fucking blood you dumbasses

>>12784922
>memo
What is this? I can’t find anything about it.

>>12778995
Even as a child I specified that I didn't like baked beans or eggs on their own, but was fine with something an egg was baked or whipped into or a bowl of stew.

>>12768303
>when I was first dead

>>12768303
>????????????????

>>12778759
If you get a really good homegrown tomato, biting right into one is fantastic. Cherry tomatoes of all types are fine too, of course.

>>12782808
>Has a bomb ass garden, doesn't use the produce because dad won't eat most of it
Imagine caring for edible plants for months just to find out your spouse is such a manchild that he refuses to eat them. I don't even grow veggies and that makes me mad

>>12769593
I wont eat anything organic on principle
It's just a scam to overcharge you to hell, sometimes they don't even use organic ingredients

Mushrooms are a disgrace, your aunt is right.

>>12768262

My family is irish. We don't eat potatoes. Mashed potatoes are my absolute favourite, but my parents refuse to cook them. We have them once a year for thanksgiving, and 70% of the time they buy boxed mix. I've talked to them multiple times about how our diet could use the extra fiber and nutrients, while cutting down on our food budget, but they just refuse.

They don't clean up after cooking either. We live in a slightly rural/suburb area with lots of insects, and they never clean up cooking ware when they're done. It will be left out for a day or two, just soaking in water instead of actually being cleaned or put down the sink.

I've got an autistic aversion to the texture of things like cheese, eggs and cooked mushrooms. Used to make my own scrambled eggs as a kid, one day I felt queasy after eating them and I haven't been able to since.
Pain in the ass since about half of the foods which have ever been conceived have at least one of these three things, if not some other food I can't stand the texture of. Not allergic though.

>>12775756
alcohol is basically microscopic shit

>>12785725
Why? What's wrong with potatoes?

>>12774073
>Of course she (and her whole family) are obese.
I'm the only person in my family that's not fat. I have an allergy to corn syrup.

>>12775139
>mushroom and veggie spaghetti
>ketchup
I spent six hours on a sauce once, brought a jar to my grandparents' place for dinner. They drowned it in fake parmesan. I wanted to cry.

>>12776278
>my only experience eating it was that shit.
Ah, I remember when I realized my mother was a lousy cook. A BBQ in the mid 90's, served a medium rare strip steak, lightly marinaded and salted. I'd never known that steak was supposed to have flavor.

>>12777181
>carrot cake and pumpkin cake are "gay" because they have vegtables in them
But carrots are a tuber and pumpkin is a fruit...

>>12778031
My daughter is currently like this. I dry and powder mushrooms to add to soups and sauces because she'll make herself throw up if she sees one.

>>12778604
This makes a lot of sense. What made millenials wise up then? It just got so fucking bad that we couldn't stand for it any longer?

>>12778742
>I want to go out for sushi
>Ew, Anon. Sushi is gross!
>When have you even eaten sushi?
>At a buffet.
>That wasn't sushi.

>>12778927
Fuck, dude. My mother asked me to watch her dogs while she was out of town, told me I didn't need to bring food this time because there was plenty of food there. All garbage. All of it. Not even food, just boxes upon boxes of preservatives. Ended up buying sandwich makings for the whole week because she didn't even have the right cookware to prepare real food.

>>12785768
Probably because of the racially charged stereotype "Irish eat potatoes because they're too poor to afford anything better". My friend's mother is Italian, from NewYork, and very racist. We don't mention Irish people around her.

>>12785725
Why don't you make them yourself? It's literally the fucking easiest thing in the world to make. Just boil potatoes till they're soft as fuck and then mash them with some butter and milk.

Not family, but a friend I had as a kid fucking hated fruits and veg. Like throw up and or cry if someone came at him with a banana.

One time in school we had some type of meat with an orange sauce. Everyone hated it and went for bread except him. He gulped it down like his last meal. When we told him he freaked out, ran to the bathroom to spit and started washing his mouth out with soap

>>12783226
>>12783259
literal oldfag, fuck off

>>12786778
well I'm a proverbial oldfag (as opposed to literal)

>>12786811
Proverbial is not the opposite of literal, dipshit.

>>12786828
and there's no reason to assume "oldfag" would be used as some sort of metaphor, shitdipper
maybe the word you were looking for was "actually"? or "genuinely"?
fucking penismonger, misusing easy-to-understand words

>>12773692
My mother in law says she cannot stomach beans. I put five different kinds in a chilli, which she ate with gusto and raved about. They were pretty fucking obvious too.
My kids have a more adventurous outlook on foods than their grandparents. They will try anything.
My sister in law is a case of people who can be rescued tho. She came to stop with us, had a few hours drive to get here, so I told her we would just order a takeaway as she arrived. Her face dropped as I said we would order Chinese. My wife and I picked out some favourites. She tried to order a fucking omelette and chips. It's a really good restaurant so we convinced her if she wanted an omelette I would cook one for her, but please try the food first.
She loved it, shamefully admitted she had just never tried it before but didn't want to admit it. Will actually try lots of unusual shit now. Victory!

>>12786851
>damagecontrol.jpg

>>12786851
i forgot to add you also probably have GAIDS
(gay aids. where you're so gay that even the aids you have from being gay, is itself gay)
and also you're a doodoohead

>>12786855
>She loved it, shamefully admitted she had just never tried it before but didn't want to admit it. Will actually try lots of unusual shit now. Victory!
That's awesome. It's the small kinda stuff that gives me hope for the future.

>>12778759
This too is really normal. Pedestrian even.

>>12786862
You slipped up first, brains-for-shit

>>12782071
You love posting this don't you? Sad fucker. Lonely, shitty, sad boring fucker.

>>12786879
Might want to check that.
Your post post was clearly first.
Retard.

>>12786889
That's wrong, I hadn't even made my first post before your first post had been posted first. Fucker.

>>12772511
based and checked

>>12785945
Never mass reply again you super fucking faggot. You think anyone gives a shit about your gay-ass one sentence replies? Get the fuck off this site.

>>12786889
huyuaysusysu (thats chinese for "you are a stupid fucker and also eat your toenails")
source: my uncle works for nintendo
>>12786895
guys, who taught mojo jojo to curse???
i am concerned
this means he is evolving

>>12780064
baste drunkmom

>>12785945
>This makes a lot of sense. What made millenials wise up then? It just got so fucking bad that we couldn't stand for it any longer?
My guess is the rise of the celebrity chef and the popularity of cooking competition shows. When you're watching people on TV cooking amazing dishes, then you look down at your plate and it's tendies and frozen pizza you might just realize there's a big gap between what you have and what you'd like to have. A gap you can close by learning to cook.

Also youtube. I'm an X'er, so when I learned to cook it was cookbooks, friends' mothers and trial and error that taught me. Now anyone with even the slightest interest can find step by step videos of someone making any disk you can imagine. Makes it a lot easier for beginners. Hell, I don't even know where half my cookbooks are these days!

>>12786855
My girlfriend is your sister in law, we met when I was 17 and she was 15, and over the course of a few years I’ve expanded her diet from junk food, French fries, and chicken/beef to sushi, Thai food, Indian food, all sorts of wild shit.

It always feels good to fix someone who has dietary retardation

>>12785018
I meant to write melon, but retarded autocorrect fugged me up.
>inb4 phoneposter
Cloudflare captcha blocks For so I only post on redditchan with cellular.

>>12768303
J..j..j.....Mr Christ.....how were his balls?

>>12785986
Like the sauce was the color orange, or made from oranges?

>>12768262
Why did literally no one mention that anon's aunt had cheese in her fucking closet

>>12778070
>green peas and potatoes in a simple white sauce

My relatives were flyover farmers, used to make this when I was a kid. Amazingly delicious.

>>12783725
>>12772454
>>12773668
>>12773692

>Have been cooking for years. Started using MSG about 10 years ago.
>Family always comes to my house for food and get-togethers. No complaints, rave reviews.
>About 2 years ago, my father-in-law is hanging out in the kitchen while I'm cooking. Sees me add a pinch of powder to a sauce. Asks "what's that"?
>Me: "MSG"
>Father-in-law seems to almost turn pale. After eating, complains of stomach problems, sick all the next day 'because of the MSG'. Has never gotten sick in the many previous years of eating meals at my house (and eating plenty of dishes with MSG).
>Family asks that I not use MSG again because of 'dangers'.
>Print a new label that says 'Vitamin C', place the label over the 'MSG' label.
>The family has eaten many meals since the 'MSG' incident, no sickness, no complaints. I never stopped using MSG, I just don't mention it anymore.

>>12788986
dumb phoneposter

>>12791415
The MSG thing is racist. Your father-in-law is racist.

>>12772366
It's the same with muslims and pork.
I used to work at a place were one guy would often bring sausages to grill after work. He always brought them in two bags, small one marked "halal" for the single muslim on the team, and one for the rest of us. The only one that didn't know all the sausages were pork from the same bag, was the muslim.

>>12791776
it's different
muslims dont say pirk tastes bad, its just forbidden

>>12791786
I've met plenty of muslims saying they felt sick after accidentally eating pork.
Funnily enough, the majority of them didn't feel sick until after they were told they had eaten pork.

>>12791812
I bet you'd feel sick if you ate chili and got told your parents had been murdered and ground up and put in it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48H34ukFe8g

>>12768303
Did you have a stroke while typing this?

>>12791786
Most muslims are disgusted by pork though, because of the culture where they grew up. I've known a couple of non-religious people from muslim countries who would still refuse to eat pork.

>>12791827
>comparing a placebo effect with cannibalism
But why. What do you stand to gain by shitposting like this?

inb4
>attention

>>12791846
The point is they're not pretending they're nauseated because of some physical illness you dipshit. It's because it's an evil act.

People who fake food allergies for attention are completely different.

>>12791936
>Muslim eating pork is an evil act
No it’s a normal action that leaves a Muslim reeling in terror because they’ve been brainwashed into believing eating pork is evil, just like they’re brainwashed into believing that Muslims are superior, it’s okay to lie about being Muslim as long as you one day turn on the people you’re lying to, and that violence against non-Muslims is no different than killing a dog.

>>12778549
Information smog is a hell of a drug.

>>12778687
>person doesn't know something and is curious
>UH, UR RETARDED LOL
Hope she cucks you.

>>12768303
Normally, I can make sense of the insane jumbled language you guys speak. Today was not that day.

>>12791936
>It's because it's an evil act.
It's not. Tricking someone into committing cannibalism is evil.

(Accidentally) making a muslim eat pork does no harm. If anything, it shows them that it's time to move the fuck on, because their common household advice was outdated a millenia ago.

My dad drinks beer out of wine glasses and wine out of ceramic coffee mugs

>>12791827
Id eat miss tenormans ass chili

>>12778759
god raw cherry tomatoes are amazing

perfectly little circles of juicy goodness

>>12780221
that fatherly ass thought process

>>12768262
My mexican family runs a restaurant and are all amazing cooks, Anthony Bourdain even showed up and did a Parts Unknown at it a long time ago. My white gf's family though:
>go out to a classy expensive restaurant for the first time with them
>they're all wealthy nu-rednecks (they dress like pic related everywhere they go)
>her stepdad starts commenting loudly, talking but at a yelling volume, about how long the order is taking
>"NOT LIKE WE HAVE ANYWHERE TO BE OR ANYTHING" (we didn't)
>food gets there and they start going full Gordon Ramsay
>uncle leans over to moe
>"can you believe there's no fucking paprika on the butter"
>sends it back
>waiter asks if everything is ok and stepdad says "welp, i didnt think the food could be as bad as the service, but they did it! bravo!"
>doesn't tip
fucking hell

>>12792945
That’s not nu-redneck, that’s just retarded.

>>12768303
>dead
>still shitposting with balls in his mouth
The ride never ends

>>12792945
>they go everywhere by road bike
They sound like cool people, although I am not a fan of that kit. Hard to go wrong with Rapha as long as you don't mind the fred stigma

>>12768262
same with my dad, OP, but with anything that has chicken in it. once he realizes he goes from "its so tasty" to "GROSS" (yes also heavily processed meat like frikandel)

I'll eat pretty much everything. Feels ok

wife made polenta the other day. a shitload. she hated it. now im stuck eaitng it nonstop

>>12791001
>he doesn't keep a stocked cheese closet

>>12793497
really late reply, but only one of them bikes (and barely), they just think it's cool to dress like that. 2 of the men have tramp stamps of dolphins and wear their sunglasses on the back of their heads everywhere.

>>12786929
>Someone on the internet wrote words, now I'm mad
I'm sorry that you're socially mal-developed, but I'm going to keep doing whatever the fuck I want, regardless.

>>12787036
>celebrity chef and the popularity of cooking competition shows
You're probably right about that. I appreciate the well thought out reply.
>step by step videos
The internet does make access to information a lot easier, it's a shame that some people only use it for entertainment.

>>12768303

>dad won't eat cheese or butter
>ZERO cooking with butter or cheese in my house (except baking)
>if we wanted cheese we had to buy it with allowance and eat it fast or he'd throw it out. >he'd retch if he saw either
>if he orders a hamburger? no butter on the bun, not toasted
>he eats pizza without cheese
>also refuses to eat mushrooms, salad dressing and most veggies/fruits

The reason for his disdain for cheese isn't even that he's lactose intolerant. It's that his father worked at a cheese/butter manufacturing plant and one time when he visited he saw a rat in a giant vat of butter.

Also my mom was one of those "if it isn't overcooked it isn't healthy!" types. No eggs over easy, no pork EVER, no sauteed veggies... Everything had to be overcooked. I didn't have a steak that wasn't a hockey puck and drenched in a1 sauce until I was 19

>>12778021
same bro

>>12772359

Small bit of olive oil folded in gives the dough a great snap and shine.

>>12786778
Being 40+ doesn't mean you're an oldfag, and an actual oldfag wouldn't use reddït lingo and nigger jive.
Lurk more.

>Dad won't eat anything with rice, smoked meats and cheese or fruit sauces but is generally the easiest to cook for

>Mom won't eat anything with eggplant, peanuts, bean sprouts, non-fish seafood and 'too much seasoning'. Sticks to woman's magazine recipes like they're the bible and can't even fathom the idea of adjusting them to taste.

>Sister is way underweight and won't eat anything at all except fucking chicken breast, avocado, bread and frozen meals and throws out 90% of her dinner in favor of a handful of crackers. Had a panic attack tonight because I put a little bit of msg and salt in the frozen fries I cooked for her.

>I'm the picky one in the family because pumpkin hits my gag reflex.

>>12795731
Your sister sounds hot, post pics?

>>12768303

>>12791001
Achually, stuff like pic related doesn't need to be refrigerated, unless the seal has been broken. Just keep it out of direct sunlight and at moderate temperature (20-30ish C), then it'll be fine.
The only reason you see it in the cooler in the supermarket is to keep it together with the cheeses that do need to be kept cold, and because people are dumbdumbs that think all cheeses must be kept cold, no exceptions.

>go to mother in laws
>she cooks the shit out of everything
>eating a steak is like eating a hockey puck
>you have to chase it down with water or itll get stuck in your throat because it's so dry
>she asks literally 10 times how the food is wanting the praise
>if you refuse to eat it she gets upset

I swear to christ it's some sort of power move for her. She knows damn well its shit and is forcing us to eat shit because she gets off on it somehow or something. I refuse to believe she thinks it's actually good

>>12795920
Lmao my mom used to have family friends that were that way
>mom’s friends house
>lives with her mom despite being mid-30’s
>has two kids
>both half black
>her mom is always the cook at all of the little gatherings we have at their house
>everything is over-cooked
>anything non-meat is undercooked
>anything baked tastes like cardboard with sugar on it
>never want to eat at their house
>Mac n cheese isn’t even acceptably cheesy and the noodles are shitty ass penne
>still forced to go from about birth to 16 years old until my mom and her bitch friend had a falling out

>sometime around 12 years old
>they make Mac n cheese and it’s actually good
>tell my mom
>tfw my mom made it

>>12772774
I love my girlfriend, but she does shit like this too.
>We always eat and watch tv.
>Maybe some anime, maybe some twin peaks, maybe some youtube
>I always cook.
>I let her know when food is close to done.
>She always picks that time to start doing something.
>Never gets her drink ready
>Never gets the show ready.
>Never sets the table.
>She loves everything I cook, even when I fuck up.
>the pussy is good
Guess I can't really complain.

>>12773668
I won't eat mushrooms because they're related to the same thing that grows on dirty feet. I don't give a fuck! Also don't think I would want to eat blood sausage, but I live in the states so it's not really an option.

>>12796138
>they’re related to the same thing that grows on feet
Fungus that grows on your skin is about as related to food mushrooms as a parasitic leech is related to a dog. You’re being silly for caring about that. Bacteria we use to make cheese/yogurt is related to the bacteria that make you shit your brains out too, but it doesn’t matter because it’s a different species.

Technically every species on earth is related in some way, so it really shouldn’t make any impact in your life.

>>12796138
>I won't eat mushrooms because they're related to the same thing that grows on dirty feet.
Do you avoid fermented foods and alcoholic beverages for the same reason?
>eat blood sausage, but I live in the states so it's not really an option.
Depends on where you live in the states. Several kinds of it are readily available where I live.

>>12792945
2 questions. What is the restaurant, and how bomb is your girlfriend's snatch?

>>12796151
>Do you avoid fermented foods and alcoholic beverages for the same reason?
Nah, bacteria doesn't sound as bad as fungus, haha. My mom never cooked with mushrooms either and they aren't in most of the dishes I cook. If I went to a friends and they had some, I'd eat it, though.
>Depends on where you live in the states. Several kinds of it are readily available where I live.
Gotcha. I'm Southern Ohio. I'm sure I could find it somewhere, but it's not common at all. How does it taste?

>>12768303

>>12794695
>2 of the men have tramp stamps of dolphins

>>12791812
Muslims are retarded for their beliefs.
But you are also retarded.
They don't feel sick like gross food/food poisoning. More like, "holy shit i just completely fucked up "morally" a belief i have held for my whole life by eating that".
It would be like if a christ fag got 'trapped' by a tranny and kissed them, then found out it was a dude. Like obviously the kiss wasn't actually gross, its just they are disgusted by the action going against what they believe in.

>>12794695
>wear their sunglasses on the back of their heads everywhere.
Why though

>>12796190
>How does it taste?
Depends on the particular type of sausage. The classic black pudding is good, but Irish white pudding (no blood, sort of like goetta) is better. But a good Latin American style morcilla with corn chips, lime and a beer is fucking glorious. The flavor of blood is sort of like liver, but even more intense. Definitely benefits from some acid and spice against it.

>>12768303

My dad said he can’t eat any meat he cooks but he has no problem with his entire diet being made up of chicken nuggets, bread, cheese, and ice cream.

>>12775156
73 and eating what you love sounds great (assuming thats why they ate solely that), i see no need to live to be like 90 when those last 10+ years are just being a useless bone sack.
I mean it still is an odd choice of only things to eat, but if its because they liked them well then "good" for them.

>>12768262
>have fat mom
>she has been doing keto diet to lose weight
>it basically worked, she lost like 50 lbs but she's still doing the diet and it's been 2 years and she hasn't lost any more weight
>all she eats every day is keto
>went over to her house yesterday since my sister was in town and we could all have dinner
>mom made pasta and a shrimp scampi type dish
>shit is oily as fuck
>ask her how she made the scampi sauce
>she informs me that the scampi sauce she made just consisted of melting 4 whole sticks of butter and cooking the shrimp in it

She went on to say that it's perfectly fine to eat that because butter is keto. She said she goes through 10 sticks of butter every week. Her cholesterol has got to be through the roof.

>>12768303
Is this a bot?

>>12796190
>bacteria
Yeast is a fungus, anything fermented with yeast (including bread, beer, wine, etc) has/had fungus in it.
>But they're dead!
So are mushrooms.

>>12796453
I'd be more worried about her triglycerides. Plus, dietary cholesterol is generally only an indicator of cardiovascular disease in combination with elevated blood sugar levels.

That's generally how keto diets progress if not accompanied by exercise. A lot of people who start keto don't stop because there's basically three options for losing weight: Low carb, low fat, low calories, and of them, low carb is generally the most satiating.


While 10 sticks of butter a weeks is perhaps excessive, as long as she is actually doing keto, you shouldn't have anything to worry about in terms of arterial inflammation.

>Mom is an absolute wreck in the kitchen and a bundle of neurosis at the dinner table
>Never served a meal that wasn't charred to shit
>Eats one thing for dinner 1-2 months in a row before moving onto another single dish, usually some sort of steamed vegetables
>Spends the rest of the day eating like a child, gorging on chocolates, cakes and ice cream
>Buys "healthy" snacks like berries and fruit, will usually leave it to go rotten in favor of cookies and sweets
>Sprints out of the room and hides upstairs if she smells anything cooking that she finds remotely unpleasant
>Thinks eggs need to be submerged in max temperature oil to be "properly cooked", assumes that large volumes of spitting oil is just a natural part of frying an egg
>REFUSES to watch her food as it cooks, will leave it burning to the base of the cookware while she goes outside to smoke
>Despite this, she's terrified of the smoke alarm and her response to setting it off is to either smash the alarm or throw the item that triggered it (e.g. burning cod welded to a frying pan) out the nearest window before fleeing into the garden
>Is obsessed with "finding the problem" whenever she experiences even the most mild of bodily complaints, will instantly blame whatever she most recently ate
>"Garlic gives me a headache"
>"Nutmeg gives me a headache"
>"Cinnamon makes me dizzy"
>"Anything blue will give you cancer, the dye is carcinogenic"
>"I can't eat mayo because it contains milk"
>"Nuts make me depressed"
>"I don't like gravy because one time the cafeteria worker at school was mean to me while serving it"
>"MSG hurts my head"
>"The smell of cooking cheese makes me ill"
>"I can't eat fibre"
>"I liked the taste of mud as a child"
>"Broad beans will kill me, it's a rare genetic problem"
>"Things made with white flour gives me severe nausea (unless it's a cake or cookie)"
>"White rice makes me ill because of the bleach they use to make it"
>"Blue cheese is disgusting"

>>12783757
My mom finds tasty and yummy to be the pinnacle of food taste compliments.
But my ex would fly off the handle if I said sure instead of a direct yes even if that is what sure means and how I have used it for the past 20+ years.

OTT: My mom will not eat lamb, veal or sushi because of her upbringing I assume.
I even suggested many cooked sushis or even just sushi rice and she gets a funny face.
I have made her veal before and there was no issues, of course she will never know I actually served that lel.

>>12796569
Congratulations, I think you win the thread. That's the most pants on head retarded thing I've read in like a month.

>>12796453
Making pasta on keto? Doubt

>>12796847
>scampi type dish
>type
I doubt her dedication to the KETO movement but l2r anon.

>>12796654
Saying sure instead of yes is complete ass. My ex would say sure all the god damned time, and I explained over and over that a solid yes and a sure are not the same thing. As a final resort I started using sure all the time, to be an example of how fucking dumb that is. It didn't work at all and I still haven't fully unlearned it. God damn man. Like someone puts in effort into something, you're not commenting on it, they ask if you're enjoying and "sure" is their reply. It's like talking to a god damned 8 year old who's grumpy over not being allowed to watch late night horror movies.

>>12797002
idk to me I used sure as an affirmation of certainty (the dictionary definition) I just forgot how much she hated it until I said it to her the other day lel.
Just the way the people talk where I'm from maybe? (NEPA)
Sure always meant YES, not trying to be a dumb ass saying I don't really care.

>>12797026
Just saying, to people who aren't in the sure lifestyle it will come across that way if they actually care about what they're asking, especially if the tone of the sure is neutral or (god forbid) below.

>>12776891
Is being repulsed by human feces a white people thing?

>>12778759
>>12778935
Genuinely can't tell if this is a joke or not. Who the fuck has a problem with raw tomatoes?

>>12768303

>>12783274
>Mom: "Food is ready, tell dad!"
>Tell dad
>Everyone except for dad is sitting at table as food gets cold
>Dad comes to table, takes 15 minutes putting condiments on
>Asks for phone, delaying the meal by an extra minute or so
>We pray, depending on who prays this adds an extra minute or so
>I choke down lukewarm eggs

>>12798263
Yes

My family flips out if they think you're "wasting" things. They weren't even that poor in the past but they have an absolute neurosis about making sure nothing goes to waste.
>make pot of mac and cheese
>literally everyone is stuffed as fuck cause I made a lot
>a miniscule amount is left in the pot, like 2 spoonfuls worth
>no one wants it and I'm full so I go to toss it
>mom goes off on me saying to put it in a bowl and eat it later
>it's legitimately like 10 individual pieces of macaroni
>ask if she wants to eat it even though she didn't have any because she hates macaroni
>she shuts up but then spends the next several hours making passive aggressive remarks about wastefulness
There was another time when I was working on something and needed like ten paper towels and got them absolutely coated in gun oil, like the shit that's highly carcinogenic when ingested. I went to throw them out once they were used and she went ballistic, saying they weren't completely covered and she could use them to clean bowls and stuff in the kitchen. She was still pissed even after I explained that that's a retarded idea considering what they were coated with. She still flipped out on me saying shit like money doesn't grow on trees even when I offered to buy her a full pack of paper towels if she was so goddamned offended by me using like 6 cents worth of them.

>>12768262
>never put mushrooms in it again because they make her sick and they're disgusting
I used to think I didn't like mushrooms either, because they always tasted...like...plastic-y, if that makes any sense?

I then realized that a lot of Asian mushrooms didn't have this problem, and it's really white button mushrooms that made me think this originally.

>>12779304
Are you saying that you are even lower than that?

>>12796296
>Like obviously the kiss wasn't actually gross,
>t. Muslim who picks up his shit with his bare hands
Yeah doing one of the least biologically safe actions with a random tranny is perfectly not gross.

>>12798263
Unironically yes because of the Middle Ages and how many retards died because they weren’t repulsed by shit

im going to fight all your parents im sick of their shit

>>12800256
This response was guaranteed made by a woman or a tranny as it doesn't make any logical sense.

Mom refuses to taste a ton of the stuff she makes because "I don't eat that." Then she's surprised and gets buttmad when people tell her it's bland or too salty. Also not just my family, but I noticed a lot of people just have no idea how to brown meat for some reason. Like they just throw meat in a pot and leave it there without stirring for 10 minutes and then wonder why it's still pink inside. I got a friend who was legit baffled at why his ground beef didn't come out like mine when he literally just threw it under a broiler for a while and ended up with raw meat covered in a burnt outer layer.

>>12775756
No, that's bullshit. My policy is "if it doesn't make me sick and I like the way it tastes, I don't care what's in it", at least for restaurant food. I know that's not exactly the healthiest way to live one's life, but you can't let that sort of thing bother you.
If I learned one day that the white sauce they put on shawarma is the chef's cum, I wouldn't care and I'd still continue to eat it because it tastes good. End of story.

>>12775756
There's a gigantic difference between properly prepared edible food and an actual piece of shit or other extremely gross shit, you retard.

>>12803130
>kebabjoint
>chef
That's pushing it.

>>12803162
I didn't know what other term to use, sorry

>>12778640
My mom used to cook potatoes, carrots, and pasta in literal seawater when I was young. Shit was awesome.

>>12784131
Or with a slice of mozzarella and some fresh basil. Simple and great combination.

>>12796522
The yeast in the drinks is often still alive, though.