/ck/ - Food & Cooking

For today's dish, we're g-going to make r-rotisserie style chicken in t-the slow cooker!
F-For those of you who refuse to leave their house and w-want to have a meal for days!
This is the meal for you!

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1hlgRO359Xm

>>12798576
How feminine is your dick? :3

Alright! Ingredient t-time!
1. 4-5 LB Whole Chicken
2. 2 TBSP Light Brown Sugar
3. 1/2 TBSP Chili Powder
4. 1/2 TBSP Smoked Paprika
5. 1 TSP Dried Thyme
6. 1 TSP Garlic Powder
7. 1 TSP Onion Powder
8. Kosher Salt and Pepper (to taste)

Pretty simple!
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0tnjE2EQ79a

Potato Instructions!
Time f-for the EZ Baked Potato!
You'll need:
1. 4 Russet Potatoes (2 here)
2. Olive Oil
3. Salt

How To: (Pre-heat oven to: 425F)
1. Wash and dry potatoes.
2. Pierce Potatoes 2-3 times.
3. Rub them with oil and salt (you know how to do this)
5. Bake for 45 minutes, or until they are tender!

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1nZDm8oXZ91

Alright! T-Time to make a foil rack!
It's pretty easy. Just ball up like 4 pieces of foil, place them on the bottom of the slowcooker!
You can also choose to make a foil snake, should your artistic urgse take over.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0WUa9c6wdtB

Alright, this is really easy.
Just take two tablespoons of that sweet brown sugar and dump it in the bowl.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0ifnSzZVgqB

Okay! Now, add 1/2 TBSP of Chili powder to the bowl with the sugar.

Simple. Easy. You can do this.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0HgqtkjlplY

Okay! Now it's time to add in the half tablespoon of smoked paprika, the same amount of as the chili powder.
You can use the smoked paprika to get more of a rotisserie taste, but I just used regular paprika.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1UUSar6d9HR

Alright.
So in this particular video, you see me struggle with the dried thyme.
There's nothing to say.
Just watch me struggle.
According to my notes, it's a whole teaspoon.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s16ahP8UxvQ4

Ahh yes, back to back struggling.
This time it's with the onion powder.
I'll learn to open these quicker one day...

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1Wmej8oSDOd

Okay.
So this time it's 1 teaspooon of garlic powder.
Much more forgiving than the onion powder incident.
We don't talk about that one.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1Lpu4uscwne

Okay! This time it's just salt and pepper, baby!
Like I said, no suggested amount...other than to taste!

https://vocaroo.com/i/s04s5E0j0rH6

Time to mix all the spices together so they make a nice, even rub!

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0FxeNbAzKHV

Pat the chicken dry, both inside and out.
I'll spare you the less than nice camera angle that this chicken has...

https://vocaroo.com/i/s05b63xzUtCN

Rub the mixed spices all over the chicken so that it creates a nice, even crust over the chicken that will seal in all the juices.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s05b63xzUtCN

Put the chicken on the foil rack (or snake) and then set the temperature to HIGH For 4-5 hours, or until the chicken juices run clear and it's reached a safe temperature to eat, which is 165F.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0sy7cZTRjrt

>>12798576
Please be in east London

Moving over the the potatoes, pierce them 2-3 times to allow some of the steam to escape, and you keep your potatoes from blowing up.

Hidden within this vocaroo is a little gem of knowledge, to those who choose to listen..
https://vocaroo.com/i/s0sxgobITh4L (don't try to boil eggs in the microwave, they'll explode)

Oil up those potatoes like you wish you could some hot womans back.
Then, salt them (not with your tears, no one wants those).
Throw them in the oven for 45 minutes on a foiled baking sheet. Enjoy with butter and sour cream, or load it up. Your choice.

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0IxTxB0FbNo

Might just be the short desk but you seem very tall for a woman. What's your height?

And...voila! Dinner is served. Thanks for joining me, Anonymous! I hope to see you next time <4
This is Alice3D, signing off!

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1uUUayByJ3K

>>12798681
S-sorry, I'm American <4

>>1279869
If you d-didn't notice, the background is chroma key'd on.

aww
appreciate the effort
i'd eat it and make nice small talk with you

>>12798716
I'm g-glad you enjoyed it <4

>>12798700
Thanks for the comfy and creative thread. I enjoyed it alot. It's like a breath of fresh air from all the fast-food posting

Keep it up Alice3D

>>12798735
I w-will if I'm not banned <4

Not bad, only the hands give it away

You can still sit on my lap and pretend to be a cute girl

>>12798750
I'm a b-biological female, and m-my hands are quite dainty. If you think they are large c-compared to yours...w-well....m-maybe ask a doctor for a hormone panel, as you m-may be lacking T.

No offense but something tells me op is a genuine girl (male).

But I still love this thread, not because you are a male but because it's comfy

>>12798761
I'm n-not male, but you are entitled to your opinion.

Good bread :DDD

>>12798576
>stutter in text
>speaks smoothly in vocoaroo

It hurts a little

>>12798758
>I'm a b-biological female,
pfft whatever bro then im not even interested anymore

>>12798771
What hurts, kot?

>>12798758
>as you m-may be lacking T.
You're a very cute girl but cute girls don't talk about their "T". Cute girls are submissive and obedient. Understand?

Now let's see that cute girl butt of yours.

>>12798761
>>12798750
>dumb as shit and rude speculation about other people's genitalia
>still trying to come off as friendly

>>12798774
If it's actually a female(male), then she(he) has a very convincing feminine voice

Sage. Get cancer and die

>>12798771
S-sorry <4

>>12798774
Sorry to disappoint.

>>12798776
I'm a biological female. Not a c-cute girl.
And I'm definitely not obedient.

>>12798780
I d-don't even know how to interpret this post.

>>12798781
No t-thanks.

>>12798746
W-what will you cook next Alice3D-chan !
Give us something to look forward to !!

>>12798782
You type like a retard. Hang yourself you stuttering coal burner

>>12798787
I'm t-thinking another slow cooker recipe. V-very good for low income families and college students <4

There is something very suspicious about this.

>>12798790
S-sorry to disappoint, b-but I will not be doing that <4

>>12798796
Alright. What?

Why is the date the 08/16 you rancid cunt?

>>12798801
B-because I first posted this on Friday.
What about that makes me a "rancid cunt"?

>>12798782
>And I'm definitely not obedient
You went a little too far there
Refer to this handy guide

>>12798576
Why Alice ? What's the connection ?

>>12798804

My apologies, my wife just died leaving me to look after the kids, kinda in a foul mood.

>>12798807
>>12798782
Oops sorry I meant to upload this one

Make some pizza next pls

>>12798811
It's alright, I just d-didn't even understand the connection.

>>12798810
I h-help people on /b/ as Alice <4

>>12798816
M-maybe. I n-need to see if my cart can handle it.

>>12798818
>if my cart can handle it
Wut?

>>12798820
T-the blue sheet in my videos is a cart I b-bought specially s-so I could do this without exposing my apartment or kitchen, after I received d-death threats.

what the hell, it's been years since I've seen your thread haha
the folks over at /b/ haven't given you much love huh?

>>12798822
Death threats for what?

>>12798576
>Alice3D
>not dressing up like Alice

>>12798826
F-for existing <4

>>12798824
Oh, I'm on a l-lot of boards now <4

>>12798830
I d-do, just didn't this specific time.

The cosplay is heavy!

C-Can I give you a hug Alice?

>>12798826
Clearly for not disclosing he's a male when picking up straight dudes.

We just ignoring that Taylor Swift is doing an Alice bit?