/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12913989
ur mum's arse, m8

>>12913989
LOL this thread again? Please post a photo of your kitchen.

>>12913998
I'm not going to because you're going to dox me.

Im going to tell you what Ramsey told me
" Well furst your gonna wanna place the eggs in a cuppord up near your stove. Then climb up on stove (grunts) like this and grab you egg. Now most people will tell you to take your pants off before standin above your stove, I say they're twats. Just drop them knickers right below the butt line and cradle that sweet egg betwix your buttocks. Now gently give two, are you watching ( grunts) ,two squeezes just like that and you have one egg in your pahn. rinse and (grunt) repeat."
Or you know, tap on pan corner and break one handed like a man

>>12914037
a kitchen photo isn't enough to dox, everybody has a kitchen.

>>12913989
Microwave it for 30 minutes and do heroin while you wait and try not to COOOOOOM

>>12914192
Actually he's right, you can determine based on the architecture of a house what sort of build it is in a locality if you are familiar to it.
>>12914198
Can't stop cooming bro.

>>12913989
Crack on its side on a flat surface you mongoloid

>>12913989
Crack them on a flat surface and then wipe where you did it immediately afterwards with a sponge or rag.

>>12913989
Crack it in the sink then just rinse it away. Or grAb a sponge and wipe the counter.

>>12913989
>Are there any better places to crack them?
Crack it on the flat of the pan you're about to cook them in? Works for pretty much every egg style except poached.

>>12913989
Just buy pre-cracked eggs bro, avoid the mess.

>>12915726
Look at that kid's fucking neck, what is he, African?

>>12916359
Seething necklet detected

>>12915726
i enjoy

>>12913989

>>12913989
On the side of a dish, or on the side of whatever recipient you're cooking it in...and you have to lightly tap it not just fucking break it

>>12916648
So do I.

>>12916359
Photoshoped his t-shirt off

>>12916359
>Look at that kid's fucking neck, what is he, African?
Nope, he's just so excited by the concept of pre-cracked eggs he got a neckrection.

you're supposed to lightly crack it. not leave a gaping hole gushing out protein

>>12915726
Ahh, fimally.

>>12914145
>Now the uh first uh thing that you uh want to uh do, is get yourself a uh nice, uh smooth countertop surface. something wood or uh marble will do uh nicely, but I prefer a uh, nice uh classic stainless steel uh countertop. but that's another show. next, you want to uh firmly hold the uh egg and very uh gently uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh

>>12915726
Everyday there's one post that makes me laugh. Thank you.

>>12916359
He's an obvious plant.

>>12919684
Are you joe rogan?

>>12915726
>mfw I enjoy

>>12919464
>he's just so excited by the concept of pre-cracked eggs he got a neckrection
Fuck I laughed loudly in the bathroom stall

>>12913989
dude just put a paper towel down first same concept as sex

>>12913993
rekt

i've found that you have to commit to cracking the egg off a surface rather than just gently tapping it.

What you'll need:
>egg
>hand
>knife

Instructions:
>hold the egg with one hand
>hold the knife with the other
>strike the egg with the knife

tfw keep getting egg shells in my egg

>>12921068
I lightly tap the egg while rotating it till I have a crack running the circumference of the egg. Mostly no mess unless the membrane is unusually thick.

>>12921074
Instructions unclear I am now without a hand

>>12921100
Epic XD

>>12921100
You thought the egg was your hand, didn't you?

You thought you were Edward Egg-hands.

>>12913989
Use a mug.

>>12913989
gently, then use thumbs to pry apart at the indent

You NEED an egg cracker. These retards have never cooked so they don't realize eggs on cooking shows come pre-cracked for the host to pry open

>>12913989
crack it on ur head

>>12921131
>not eggward
fuck off

Crack it on a paper towel, that way when you are done cracking your eggs you can pick up the paper towel with the eggs on it and there will be no mess

>>12913989
>get egg
>open dumpster
>crack egg on the sink corner
>throw egg away

>>12913989
with a knife bro

>>12913989
>How do you crack an egg on the counter without getting goop everywhere? Are there any better places to crack them?
I have some flexible cutting boards, stack of 4. I will crack them on there, since they go in the dishwasher.
If I'm going to be cracking a lot, like a big batch, I'll lay out a plastic store bag into a circle, and tap them inside of the bag, open over the bowl, and then toss the shells into the bag. when done, I close up the bag right to the trash, shells and gooey white drippings all in there. If you're a green person, you can walk out to your garden like you do with the coffee grounds and park under a plant, but I live in ratty-attracting Florida, so I don't put garbage under my trees. If you're going to do the entire dozen, you can put the shells back into the carton and pitch that into the trash. Wash cutting board and bowl, aka clean up, and then finish your cooking/recipe stuff.