/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>12918270
I wish brad would just toss her a pity fuck already so we dont have to watch her be so desperately cock thirsty

>>12918270
>12918270
fat jewish sow

"I've never tasted junk food and I run every morning, why do I weigh 200 pounds"

>>12918270
imagine she spread her fat pale ass for you

>>12918300
the smell :(

>>12918307
all asses smell anon
when's the last time you washed your butthole thoroughly?

>>12918314
Daily? I thought everyone washed their asshole daily

>>12918270
yeah runs to the bagel store lmao

>>12918353
It's a surprisingly popular opinion among straight men that washing your asshole properly makes you gay.

>>12918363
what the FUCK

>>12918366
Yeah I feel sorry for their girlfriends who have to put up with their swamp ass 24/7 :/

>>12918270
This has to be the worst picture I've ever seen of Claire. Like photoshop-bad tier. Looks like a man.

>>12918363
If youre referring to giving yourself an enema, yeah, that shit is super gay. But most people wash their ass same as the rest of the body.

>>12918374
I mean actually getting your soapy hands in deep enough for it not to hurt or feel uncomfortable and washing that butthole well. Not fingering, but enough work to wash away any visible or smellable shit particles that can't be picked up with toilet paper. That's not gay imo and apparently I'm the crazy one on this topic.

>>12918376
Uhh yeah okay dude get a wash cloth

>>12918270
Running doesn't make you thin. Eating less does.

>he thinks toilet paper actually cleans his ass
Wet wipes master race. There are flushable, degradable ones too now, you have no excuse

>>12918307
the smell :)

id let her degrade me and call me a goy while she lets me feed her bacon in secret

>>12918519
>Uhh yeah okay dude get a wash cloth

>when you live in a house with women and every clean wash cloth still smells like blood

women are fucking disgusting

>>12918376
I soap up my hand and insert it between my cheeks and run it up and down like a hacksaw until i feel clean. no direct cornhole contact tho. am i doing it wrong?

>>12918376
This is gay? I do this every shower with a bar of soap. I get like dangerously close to losing the bar up my hole each time

>>12918270

Funny that someone who claims to be a pastry chef and does not know how to temper chocolate.

>>12918366
It's true, I washed my ass once and now I crave cock wherever I go.

>>12918376
I usually go three rounds when washing out my ass, using soap inside the crack and around the cornhole before washing out with water. If my hands still smell like shit I go for another round.

it's childish, but what you do is insert the bar of soap up your ass. squeaky clean

I wonder how well she washes her ass. I'd surely take a whiff and find out

she might be telling the truth
i'm a fat alcohol woman and i rollerblade an hour or two a day
if i didn't rollerblade i'd be supermorbidly obese i guess

>>12919174
not gay, but that's how you get pink eye

>>12918523
that's just a marketing gimmick
they are not good for the pipes

>>12919236
Pls b my gf

>>12918523
>>12919254

My bathroom closet looks like this.
seriously just use toilet paper as usual, then afterwards use 1 or 2 of these to thoroughly clean your ass.

Between wet wipes on my ass and a washcloth on my armpits, I can go like 4 days without showering.

>>12919236
I want 2 lick the sweat from ur phat ass BBY while u call me a faggot

I want u 2 rollerblade over my dick & tell me how much bigger the bulls is

>>12919209
>sniffing your hand afterward
Washing it is perfectly fine, but come on dude

>>12919283
i just use the old alabama wet pipe
spit on toilet paper wa la

>>12919315
>>12919315
>spit on toilet paper wa la
>licking your own ass by proxy

>>12919283
>†For flushing see bottom panel

>>12919317
>spending money on something you can make for free

>>12919318
yeah it says to avoid fucking up your plumbing, use one wipe per flush.

>>12918527
Baste

>>12919321
>I cant spend that $6 on a month's worth of toilet paper
>That's gonna break the bank for me

Most working people spend more than that on lunch every day

M&M video was her worst gourmet makes attempt yet

>>12919236

Listen here little baby. You're gonna get a lot of hurtful and degrading comments, but that ain't what I'm about. Let me just say, you are perfect the way you are. You hear me sugar? PERFECT. Don't ever change. You deserve anything and everything you want. Stay safe for me, baby girl.

>mfw thinking of you hurting

>>12918363
I'm from Wisconsin and I can confirm this is true.

Anyone who exercises an ounce of personal care and hygiene is a foreign fucking faggot and obviously hates America and has literally never set foot here.

>>12919283
look at these cretins still using <gasp> their HANDS to wipe??!!

bidet master race checking in

>>12919327
spending money on frivolous things is a good way to stay poor

>>12919349
sometimes my shit comes out really muddy, almost the consistency of peanut butter or something. I'm not confident that a bidet has the pressure to power wash that off my cheeks

>>12919349
Oh! You're supposed to have your underwear on before use. I get it now, thanks anon.

>>12919236
I want you to fart on my dinner

>>12919383
fair warning, i might accidenitly let out some greasy beer diarrhea

>>12919361
It does.

using soap on my ass hole makes it itch like crazy

my fingers constantly smell like shit

>>12919415
my mouth is watering

>>12919425
use a milder soap
like unscented oatmeal or goat milk

>>12918270
>Lol, this bitch is really trying to convince us she runs even semi daily
I run every other day, usually 4 times a week, sometimes more. 5-6 km each time. I'm in good shape but I still have a bit of a belly because I fucking love beer and very big breakfasts.

Just because someone runs regularly doesn't mean they have a 6 pack or something.

>>12918284
Because G-d himself wants her to be a fucking slampig

>tfw you get that itchy feeling in your ass after taking your morning shit
>go to bathroom to rewipe
>theres like a wipes worth of shit on your ass still
how the fuck did i miss that the first time

>>12919283
they say flushable but they are not. They flush but they clog the shit out of your pipes.

I use a witch hazel tincture in a spray bottle and i spray the toilet paper then wipe.

>>12918523
I just use damp toilet paper. I either use the faucet at home of have a pocket spray bottle filled with water I keep in my desk.

>>12919122
Horrific creatures with sense of decency, my sister leaves her blood stained underwear in the bathroom all the time, and she constantly clogs the toilet with her tampons and makeup pads and shit, my dad is basically my best friend and he's almost had it with her, she's 27 and has never had a fucking job and just leaches of my parents and the government. Don't even get me started on the state of her room.

>>12919494
>Don't even get me started on the state of her room.
She can't be worse than my sister. Last time I was back home few months ago I saw:
>used tampons
>fastfood packaging
>sushi packaging
>used tea bags on the floor
>massive hairballs sticking of of her PC front filter
>the most horrifyingly sticky and sigusting keyboard I've ever seen
>same for the screen
I could go on. I don't know if she's ever gonna get married but I do not envy her future husband. That man better be some kind of military man that will straighten her up or something. Maybe he could even cure her sleeping till 1pm almost every day...

>>12919492
No you don't. If you did you would know that damp toilet paper disintegrates onto your rim when you try to wipe with it.

Just use the power massage setting and give yourself a nice no-contact pressure cleaning.

All good and not gay

>>12919518
And she's single? Because that's the lifestyle I like but I can't get a girlfriend because of it.

>>12919525
The hell you talking about?you don't use THAT much water

>>12919545
>lifestyle
>being an absolute fucking slob
I'm sorry to hear that you're retarded.

Yes she is, you are welcome to move to Poland and take her off of our hands.

>>12919548
Heh. I haven't been sick for 20 years. I think I'll keep being "retarded."

>>12918270
Imagine being obsessed with this ugly kike bitch. This is truly the worst board.

>>12919559
>he thinks not being a slob is just about health

>>12919562
But this isn't /a/...

>>12919568
No, I know being a slob is about developing an advanced immune system.

>>12919568
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJd8f1sWnfw
AKA you a massive faggot.

>>12919585
That's an interesting coincidence, I just yesterday went on a Seinfeld binge on youtube. I never really watched the show but yesterday I found out that it's actually pretty darn funny.

>>12919548
>Portland
No thanks I'm not a fag

>>12919342
You forgot the pic fag.

>>12919361
It does and you can always wipe too if you really want to.

>>12919492
>sprays toilet paper with water bottle he keeps in his desk
you take your shits at your desk? like in your wastebasket? are you mexican?

>>12919470
>I use a witch hazel tincture
god damn your asshole must be watertight using that shit. its an astringent

>>12919315
>>12919639
>Reading comprehension

Honestly bros? I think a bidet is the way to go here, feel free to prove me wrong.

>>12919330
>fuck it i'm going on vacation in the middle of this

>>12918270
Dont bully my frumpy jewess waifu

>>12919254
I said now, they've been saying flushable for ages but only now they've come up with actually flushable ones

Claire the lummox.

>>12918363
No it's not.
Having romantic or sexual feelings for other men makes you gay. Sucking a man off in the shower while you finger you butt hole is a perfectly normal.

>>12918270
Maybe she meant she gets the runs daily

>>12919430
>wash yourself with oatmeal bro!
>eat bugs bro they're full of protein!
>drink toilet wine bro the alcohol kills the bacteria!

>>12919543
I do pic related
My shower has a "jet" setting which I use every time I poop
I put a plastic shopping bag over my hair as to not let any stray poop particle infect my hair it works good

>>12919225
Dude, you seriously DO NOT want soap inside your ass.

>>12920568
oatmeal SOAP, humpty dumpty

>>12920638
t. fat fuck

>>12918270
>runs a bit (<3 miles), burns 200-300 calories, max

>treats herself to 1,200 calories worth of food


Typical American

>>12918270
IM CREAMPI HER IM COOOOMING HRERRRRRAARHHG

Would absolutely destroy this semitic whore. Holocaust would seem like child's play compared to what I'd do to her anus

Who cares? She's T H I C C , soft and pale, AKA the ideal woman.

>>12919470
>hurr durr they're bad for the environment, they're bad for pipes you should keep used ones in a little bin
You disgust me

>>12920568
I can't imagine being this big of an idiot.

>>12921562
You don't have to.

Claire has a boyfriend, you jealous wine moms.

>>12918270
While I agree she doesn't actually exercise you're an esl who needs to practice the language a LOT more.

>>12918376
>>12918363
What the fuck are you talking about? No one believes cleaning yourself is gay.

>>12919283
>not just squatting over your bathtub then washing with hand and water then dabbing the area dry with a clean piece of cloth that you throw away after use

>>12918363
>I'm a literal faggot that does the most depraved, disgusting 5hings with other mens shit holes
>I'm going to talk shit about straight dudes, make them look worse
Watch this, totally normal.

>>12919181
she got them crazy eyes HHHHNNNNNGGG I COOM

>>12921614
Forgot webm. :(
http://archive.4plebs.org/pol/thread/193893913/#193900464

>>12918376
>soapy hands deep enough
>not fingering
Of course you won't be fingering, you have a fucking hand up your ass.

>>12921605
>not using soap
nigger you need to wash your hand five times over to clean shit particles off of it, you think just water will clean your ass?