/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13023385
quit pozzing up the board retard

I used to imagine things like this on a weekly basis, then I started having sex with women instead.

The only food I want after a long journey as a fantasy adventurer is young elf snatch

>>13023385
Kinkade was a drunk wife beater and his art is for midwest fatties

>>13023387
And, except with men

>>13023406
Men who don’t like to have fun, just super serious gay sex

>>13023437
and only for the expressed purpose of contracting aids

>>13023385

>approach the house carrying a cake i made covered in a glass container
>slip on the wet algae coated stones trying to cross the river
>fall directly onto the glass cake dome shattering it into large jagged pieces
>the long shards of frosted glass now embedded deeply into my abdomen
>begin to bleed out in the cold stream gasping for help
>the smell of fresh bread from the house fills my final breaths
>the wedding ring box in my right pocket drifts down the river never to be seen again
It wasn't supposed to end this way...

>>13023884
Natural selection was almost too late

>>13023884
Never make dexterity your dump stat.

>>13023385
But people don't bake bread in the evening.

>>13023885
man you were ready with that reply, huh?

>>13023892
Bread can be made at any time. Just like literally everything else.

>>13023387
>i used to imagine a comfy and fulfilling way of life/situation, but instead i did what everyone else does and stuck my dick in a flesh hole
good job sweetie!

>>13024042
Murdering for a gold and experience is not a comfortable or fulfilling way of life.

>>13024043
r-reddit gold..?

>>13023385
>party
I just realised that even when daydreaming about living in a comfy fantasy setting I still imagine myself to be alone.

>>13023884
LotR, alternate beginning.

>>13024043
It's not murder if they're goblinoids.

>>13024103
what about their little goblin babies in their little goblin beds?

>>13023884
>baking a cake like a domesticated little homo
The wedding ring was for your faggot boyfriend wasn't it

>>13023385
gonna try and dream about this tonight

>>13023892
judging by the lighting it's either mid-morning or mid-afternoon

a "long arduous journey" is more than a days work you know

>>13023385

>>13023392
Pedo

>>13023395
He has been dead for years but you are still crying.

>>13024122
hobbits need love too

>>13024043
Not with that attitude

>>13024116
Only good goblin is a dead goblin.
Now go make those goblins good.

>>13023385
Imagine walking inside and smelling the pure stench of unbathed people with no access to showers or even toilet paper.

>>13025209
the home is surrounded by water, so you could pop out for a dip any time or have plenty to boil for a bath. imagine the pubes tho.

Then Geralt of Rivia storms in, sets fire to everyone, cuts their heads off and steals all their Rivian Kriek and Redanian Lager.

>>13024077
Man, 15th and 16th century Netherlandish paintings were great

>>13025209
That's the thing people always forget when they romanticize pre-sewage system eras. Everything smelled like shit and there would have been flies and maggots out the ass.

>>13025801
Lots of cultures had strong bathing cultures, and even in the ones that didn't the whole "not regularly bathing" thing was more an issue of practicality outside a few periods of cultural opposition. Also the reality of clean, sanitary cities that didn't smell like shit doesn't really come about until the late 19th century either.

>>13025394
You know most people don't shave their pubic regions, right? They don't magically become covered in pubes or cover the ground in them if they don't.

>>13026068

>>13026547
Porn is not an accurate representation of daily life.
People in long term relationships usually don't shave.
There are exceptions, but most people who think everyone shaves their pubic hair have never seen an unpixelated vagina. Shaving is only common among people who regularly participate in one night stands. The people who cant keep a committed relationship and have the capability of getting laid

>>13026675

>>13026675
t. older married person with an unattractive spouse and an unattractive dumpy soft body

>>13026675
You're stuck in the 00s.Pubes are back in fashion in porn. Most of the younger models have a nice bush on display.

>>13026900
Been /fit/ and lifting for over 8 years since a bad college breakup. Nice projecting though

My party? What is this, Dragon Quest?

>>13027024
>going on /fit/
Confirmed softbody

>>13026675
Omfg, nofap incels have reached the pinnacle, lol!

What an old ass copy pasta. Kil yourself OP.

>>13027056
Who needs nofap in a committed relationship? You've got some coom bogeyman on your mind

>>13025992
Dude, the pioneer towns in the 1800's US would have had sewage running down the streets. Also even people who worked the fields sun up to sundown bathed at most once per weak. If you were around other people at all the smell would have made you gag.

>>13027032
I haven't been on /fit/ since I got fit so many years ago
Keep coping and enjoy those razor bumps kiddo

>>13023884

>>13023385
fuck you! I only go back to base when I need to dump my shit and change weapons, dem dragons ain't gonna hunt themselves

>>13025556
Flemish is the word you’re looking for retardus maximus

>>13023385
>and promises of tankards of ale within.
With that treacherous path across the water, I'm sure there's been more than one drowned soul fished from the stream the next morning.

>>13024042
Get fucked, you holier-than-thou faggot.

>>13024077
>ywn be a 16th century butcher

man these threads used to full of funny greentexts. i hate zoomers so much.

can i imagine the smell

>>13024077

>>13023884

you fall into the water and your wife to be spends the rest of her life thinking you ran away

the gods are humorous and cruel

>>13030904
I feel like whatever noble man commissioned this painting asked the artist at the last moment to add his pet parrot

>>13025992
>Lots of cultures had strong bathing cultures
Lots of cultures right now don't have strong bathing cultures.
>Also the reality of clean, sanitary cities that didn't smell like shit doesn't really come about until the late 19th century either.
Indian cities still smell like literal shit.

>>13026675
Are you a woman? This seems like something a woman would write.

>>13030943
>Indian cities still smell like literal shit.
When you have a religion that teaches you bad hygiene, what the hell do you expect? They've literally had the government come in and install facilities and instruct the locals to use them, and they've protested by defecating in public.
>>13026675
Go away gyncel. Women shave and men trim. We're not talking about pornstar waxing.

Back to your containment board, neckbeard

>>13023385