/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>13722051
Look up Jacques Pepin's one-pot bread recipe. You mix, proof, and bake all in the same pot and it's 4 ingredients.

>>13722051
>simple
>easy
>fast
>isn't total shit
Pick only one.

Stop being a lazy fuck. If you want good things you have to put in work. This applies to life as well as bread.

Any bread you make is gonna have a process of more than 2 hours, and it will be shit if you don't punch it down and let it rise a few times.

Shut the fuck up, quit being a pussy, and learn something new you stupid faggot.

>>13722063
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AP27HxEzdK8

>>13723212
>>13723462
and here come the local gays to shriek indignantly

>bakery opens in 200 seconds
>haven't even started making the bread yet

this is going to be the worst grand opening ever

>>13723505
someone has clearly never made bread

>american bread quality

why would you do this to yourself? jesus christ at least make some indian tier bread, it may be made with shit stained hands but its not american bread quality

>>13723580
San Fransisco makes pretty good bread but what would you know about it bigot

>>13723583
i would know nothing, mainly because:

1, i dont give a fuck about american places
2, all i know of san fransisco is that its a gay place, and gays are irrelevent
3, no bread from america, especially a gay american place, is going to be anything other than shit.

your bread is bottom of the barrel tier. i wouldnt even feed it to ducks. its not even real bread

educate yourself

>>13723212
You can have all four of those. Especially in cooking and baking.

>>13723587
I'm not reading what you have to say because you're a loser

>>13723588
hes american, what do you expect from someone who has never eaten real bread in his own country?

>>13723589
you CANT read what i have to TYPE (not say) because you are an illiterate american

these jokes just write themselves holy shit kid

>>13723592
Ignored loser

>>13723594
just like that, the american shows its true colours. cant even read somthing wihtout throwing a tantrum

>>13723603
Nignored. Keep screaming for attention dipshit

>>13723615
do you know what ignored means? of course not, your american

only americans use words they dont understand

>>13723592
>forgets the apostrophe in "can't"
>chastising other people on their literacy skills
Yikes, friendo.

>>13723617
You're still begging for attention like a starved dog. Mangy mutt. What a drop out loser.

>>13723618
i didnt forget anything, i chose to type what i did. want to know why? because it triggers americans like yourself who focus on the way a message is delivered instead of its content

its all you can do when you cant even refute my points

typical american

>>13723587
i feel so sad for you anon...
san francisco is known for their sourdough.
I hope one day you get your head out of your ass and see the world.
or maybe choke on something. that would be cool too.

>>13723700
>san francisco is known for their sourdough.

no, it isnt. its known for gays and people shitting on the streets while doing drugs

>I hope one day you get your head out of your ass and see the world.

the ultimate form of irony comming from an americna

>>13723621
see >>13723617

>>13723721
Your ignorance is really showing here man. If you knew jack shit about American food, you'd know about San Francisco's sourdough.
More for me, I guess.
Stay miserable and angry about nothing. I will pray for you. I hope your parents still talk to you. You should call your mom.

>>13723744
i dont care about american foods, its a non-cuisine. its litteral slop. its not food.

no one gives a fuck about your gay american shit. wake up and smell the roses, you are the laughing stock of the world.

Soda bread.

>>13723757
Why are you so angry??? Would you like to enlighten me? Maybe you'll feel better. Is everything ok at home?
Do you need a hug? I'd hug you, anon. And then take you to get some good hearty soup in a bread bowl. Maybe some clam chowder or somethin.

Hope u feel better, champ.

>>13723764
im not angry, stop projecting you ass sucking faggot

no one cares about your infatuation with cocks and the gay capital of the world and theier supposed famous bread, gay cunt

>>13723771
it sounds like you're the one projecting, my friend.
You're the one who's still angry and defensive.
I just want you to feel better, man.
It can't be nice being so pissed off about this sort of thing all the time.
I'd still hug you.

>>13723774
are you so brain dead that you have to just repeat what i say back at me? you fucking NPC americans are all the same

>>13723777
that's okay bro, let it out.
Tell me more about what makes you so mad.

>>13723781
stop projecting your own gay shit onto me, i know its all your capable of doing considering your mental capacity is that of your average american (on par with apes/niggers) but its getting real old real fast, dumb cunt

>>13723787
See, it's good for you to express your feelings.
Don't you feel a little better?

You can be mad at me all you want, anon. It doesn't change the fact that you have some serious anger issues to work through.
You're unreasonably angry at a stranger on the internet and this was all started because of bread.
Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds?

>>13722051
>fast
bread needs time to rise to be fluffy unless you want a flatbread like pic related. Basically you just mix the ingredients and cook on a griddle or a pan

>>13723793
keep projecting gay cunt, your litterally a cookie cutter faggot american NPC

>>13723795
no it doesnt need that. if you knew what your talking about you can make bread from ANY heat source with just flour and water

>>13723800
where are you from, Anon?
Maybe I'm a pretty girl and i wanna see your dick.

>>13723805
maybe you arent and your just a gay cunt american whos to fucking stupid to understand basic concepts

>>13723810
You still didn't tell me where you're from
maybe it's because you're embarrassed.
tell me, anon. Do they shit in the streets in your country? Did you eat some bat soup?
Enlighten me as to what makes your country so much better and why.

You can make sandwich bread (the kind you might put in a toaster) in around 2 hours of mostly waiting.

>>13722051
Google basic white bread recipe man. Also make sure your yeast is fresh. Even the active dry stuff goes bad in like 6 months. Good luck anon

>>13723816
i dont entertain americans who are to ignorant to understand what basic concepts are

how about you stop projecting and start owning up to your actions

>>13723817
only americans called bread "sandwich bread"

>>13723819
>yeast goes bad

maybe if you lived in a first world country, you would have a fridge or freezer. i have yeast from over a decade ago that still works fine.

if you werent american, you would know you can breed your own yeast as well, VERY fucking easily. you can turn a single yeast cell into millions in just a few hours

but you are american, you will never understand basic concepts like fermentation

>>13723828
this fuckin guy. he's still so mad at me.

Yeah you're embarrassed about where you live lmao. Probably India or some other 3rd world bullshit. I know you're lying about the 10 year yeast.

>>13722051
I can make dinner rolls pretty well. Depending on the amount of time you're willing to let the doigh rise it can be fast.

>>13723837
stop projecting your own madness onto me, gay faggot.

i fucking love my country, its HDI is higher than yours. it shits all over your hell hole called the united obese of fatmerica.

enjoy living in a shit hole while i live in a literal paradise on earth

>>13723843
man, thank you for letting me live in your brain rent free.
It's pretty cozy in here, probably cuz it's so small & smooth.

If you love it so much and you're so proud, why won't you tell me??
Don't lie anon. You live in some India poverty bullshit and you're just mad cuz you can't get a decent cheeseburger anywhere.

>>13723847
dont use phrases you dont know the meaning of, like rent free. that makes no sence in this context you dumb american

whats it like living in america? is it that bad that you have to desperately beg me to tell you where im from so you can live vicariously through me? how pathetic

>>13723828
>only americans called bread "sandwich bread"
Couldn't think of a better word for it, esl.
I mean the kind of bread you'd use to make PB&J sandwiches. The kinda crap you'd buy pre-sliced. As opposed to fancy french artisanal bread or other shit like that.

>>13723828
u mad

>>13723850
LOL THIS GUY.
Please don't stop answering me. I have some shit to do in like half an hour and you're doing a great job helping me pass the time. Thank you.

You're just angry for no reason man. Think about it. This started because of BREAD. You let it bother you unprovoked. That's letting Americans in general live in your brain rent free. I bet you'll still be mad about it tomorrow. I bet you'll even keep answering me.

America's pretty fucking sweet. Nobody shits in the streets in my part of the country and nobody eats bat soup.

I just wanna know where you're from so I can understand why you're so relentlessly angry. It HAS to be somewhere awful. I still think it's India. It would make a lot of sense.

>>13723856
typical american, cant think full stop. im not esl, unlike you, you ebonics speaking, retarded american mutt

>any bread that isnt american shit bread is artisinal and fancy

holy shit i feel sorry for you, american

>>13723858
stop projecting, american

Goddamn this thread is shit. Just make some hardtack you faggot op

>>13723861
he's so mad

>>13723861
just stopping by the thread to point out how mad you are lmao

>>13722051
Irishfag here

If you can't make soda bread in 50 mins (10 prep, 40 baking) you need to git gud

>>13723869
yeah but like.
soda bread is kinda ass unless you have something like stew or a wet corned beef & cabbage to eat it with.

>>13723863
keep projecting, american

>>13723868
samefag less, american

>>13723869
they are american, what did you expect from such counterfit humans?

>>13723871
type like a human, not some faggot

>>13723872
i told you you'd continue to answer me.
don't you have some curry to snort or something?
Some little 5 year old wife to answer to??

>>13723874
>thinks im a curry muncher

typical fucking american. why are you so obsessed with where im from? is it so you can find some fault with my country, like im doing with yours, you american?

how desperate can you get, american?

my country is much higher on the HDI than yours, american. thats 15 countrys i could be from. none of them india, you shit cunt faggot

>>13723880
come on, tell me more. i love this.

I'd quit saying you're from India if you'd fucking tell me.
You're really THAT embarrassed huh.

>>13723872
OH GOD HE’S BACK

THE MASS-REPLIER FORTY-NINER

>>13723882
typical american, so obsessed with where im from. you in love with me or somthing you fucking faggot? kill yourself

>>13723883
i never left, american

>>13723886
>terrible english
>anger issues
>hates americans and thinks everyone is an american
>doesn't want to reveal their country
My money's on Syrian terrorist living in Sweden

>>13723886
Nahhh, by not telling me, you're just proving you're a massive pussy faggot and it really is so bad you're extremely embarrassed. It's fine, if you won't tell me, this is just facts. If it really were a superior country, you'd be proud of it and willing to tell me.

You can talk so much shit about America, but you know if I knew where you're from, this whole tough guy image you're trying to front would fall apart. I'm sorry life is so shit where you live.

>>13723894
my english is perfect, i just dont give a fuck about speeling or grammer, becuase i have nothing to prove and i dont give a fuck

i dont have anger issues, stop projecting. this is how men converse when your not some limp wristed faggot, american

i dont have america, i pity you obese fucks

if you werent a brain dead npc you would have worked it out right now, i dropped many subtle hints as to where im from, american

but you are to fucking stupid to see the facts in front of you

enjoy being a brain dead faggot, you gay cunt american

>>13723894
That's not a bad guess. I still think it could be India, but this is a great theory.

>>13723902
Do you remember to poo in the loo?
(Canadian btw)

>>13723902
>speeling
>grammer

You've not given a single hint, retard. You just keep calling Americans gay cunts like it's some kind of rebuttal. You've said it so many times now.

>>13723902
u should gargle my balls

>>13723900
how despereate and obsessed do you have to be to practically beg me to tell you where im from?

you are trying to shame me, on the ineternet? what kind of american mindset is this?

nothing i have said about americans or america in this thread is false. if it is, prove me wrong, american

you wont because you cant, american

>>13723904
its a wrong guess, im not from eurasia or america, retarded american

>>13723909
yea i remeber it, i still say it to my curry muncher work mates, american

>>13723911
>You've not given a single hint, retard

thats where your wrong, american. if you had any knowledge of ANYTHING other than your own country, you could have worked it out now

>>13723915
>call out gay american for being a retard
>he can only resort to being a literal degenerate faggot

mutts law, american

>>13723917
You've not made a single good point. all you do is say the same shit over and over again. All you can do is call names. You're not helping your case in the slightest.

It's been real, man, but I have shit to do now. I hope you can get your head out of your ass and maybe feel a little bit better. It can't feel good to be so fucking angry all the time.

Bread is one of those things that have been taken over by the economy of scale. If you can find a good bakery near where you buy your other produce where you can get a great loaf of bread for 6 bucks then there is just no way to beat that value unless you consider your free time to be completely worthless.
Itd be like growing a Cashew tree. Whats the point?
Make shit like flatbreads/roti/naan or soda bread that require no long term leavening if you are trying to impress someone, otherwise dont bother.

>>13723926
i dont give a fuck what americans, especially you, think. why would i? you are subhuman trash. you arent even close to my level

you are nothing but mindless npc plebs, american

go do your "shit" like the good little faggot you are. keep running away when faced with superior intellect, you retarded npc american

>>13723931
>americans are so lazy they think sustaining themselves is a waste of time

typical american

>>13723932
Yeah, yeah, I'm a faggot cunt American and you're still mad.

>>13723931
Baking bread can be a fun hobby though

>>13723937
spending an hour of your time to save 6 dollars is not economically sound unless you want to spend your whole life without taking a fukkin break. Or unless you make less than 6 bucks an hour. Bake bread if you want but there is really no point if you can find good bread being sold near you. Also im not an american.

>>13723945
of course it can. but thats not the point of this thread. the OP is asking for a way to make bread with effectively no effort. Hes not interested in learning how to make a great loaf of bread, so why recommend it at all? Just buy it if you arent interested in learning how to actually do it.

>>13723938
i thought you were leaving, american? keep projecting you retarded obese sack of shit. how pathetic do you have to be to do what you have done this thread? lets see:

>pretended to be female to entice me, didnt work
>tried to shame me, didnt work
>tried to project your bullshit onto me, didnt work

typical fucking american faggot, stay obsessed

>>13723945
hes american, he doesnt have hobbies other than consuming and being a fat retard

>>13723946
it doesnt take an hour of labour to bake bread, you dumb fuck american

you dont know how to make bread, do you? typical american

>>13723953
typical american, so ignorant of what bread is and how its made you dont even understand the concept of providing for yourself, american

i bet your the kind of lazy obese american that buys pre chopped veggies

its not economical to cook for yourself, its a waste of time, thats why you eat such unhealth american cuisine, right? typical fucking american retarded obese shit eater

>>13723954
Post your favourite bread recipe, please.

>>13723954
damn you’re the best shitposter i’ve seen in awhile, just days of replying to everyone with specific replies and in multiple threads at the same time.

>>13723960
water, flour, heatsource is my favorite recipie, american

>>13723963
only americans get amazed at REAL first worlders, american

>>13722051
In the US farmers and such would make biscuits, cornbread and tortillas as the everyday breads because they were all quick breads and they were too busy with other chores to bother with a yeast bread which really needs at least a double rise to be good.

>>13723494
>talks like a raging homo
>uses coastie cuck ingredients that I've never heard of
Boomers are the worst. BA would never do this. Especially not Claire.

>>13723967
typical americans, to lazy to make some fucking bread, always looking for the easy way out, like that faggot in this thread whos obsessed with me

>>13723956
>i bet your the kind of lazy obese american that buys pre chopped veggies
Nope. Buying fresh vegetables will provide you more value because the difference in price to labor time is actually massive. It takes 5 seconds to peel a carrot, it doesnt take 5 seconds to bake a loaf of bread.
>its not economical to cook for yourself, its a waste of time
But I didnt say this, did I you illiterate fag?
Its not economical to cook something like bread for sustenance only(cooking it for fun is a different story) because it takes a relatively long time and is very cheap to buy because bakeries can make it in bulk.
None of this really matters though because you arent even really replying, you're just spergin' out for fun on a saturday.
Also nice reddit spacing bud.

>>13723971
stop replying to him you retard he does this every day in every thread

>>13723971
chopping veggies is more labour intensive than baking bread, you ignorant obese american

way to out yourself as someone who doesnt cook, american

>But I didnt say this, did I you illiterate fag?

i didnt say you did say this, american, learn to read. i SAID it you dumb fucking american, not you, nor did i imply you said it, and you have the gall to call me illiterate? typical american

>he thinks baking bread takes a long time when it doesnt

again proving you dont know how to cook let alone bake bread, american

keep making excuses as to why you buy bread instead of making it, american

>>13723973
>DONT REPLY TO HTE BAD MAN WHO CALLED ME AMERICAN :(

how pathetic, american

>>13723978
t.

>>13723986
>hes still so butthurt that i wont tell him where im from

you can be a deluded american retard but nothing will change that fact, you fat american cunt

>>13723987
>t.american

>>13723989
that all you got, american? your getting lazy now. i thought you were going, american. or are you so fucking obsessed with me that you have to keep posting whenever i post, american?

how pathetic, american

>>13723993
Amricans are all asleep except for you. Schizoid retarded american

>>13723993
Post nose.

>>13723700
San Francisco is known for chinks and faggots.

>>13724006
how retarded do you actually be to even conceptulise that im american? are you litterally this brain dead? ohh wait, your american, of course you are

>>13724009
im not some kike faggot if thats what your asking, american

>>13724012
chinks as well? thanks for the knowledge, american

its known for the gays, shitting on streets and drugs use, as well as slant eyed rice farmers

only in american

>>13724015
>how retarded do you actually be to even conceptulise that im american
Because you're autisticly replying and arguing like a sperg to every poster like a retarded american. Self hating american faggot

>>13724015
I like your posts but it's only funny if you reply to dozens of people in one shot. Doing just 3 and hitting "post" is lazy and devalues the product

t. a fan

>>13724038
keep projecting your self loaving over your shit stain of a country, american

its fucking pathetic and you know it

are you so brain dead that you can only say that im american, after i called you an american?

literal NPC american right

>>13724015
this guy has made fun of every race except Poo-in-Loos we got him bois.

Roll

>>13724012
I'm Northern European and that honestly is the first thing I think of when someone mentions SF.
Sure as hell isn't sourdough.

>>13722051
Threw together some dinner rolls last night as a last moment thing for some chicken fricassee.
Flour, salt, oil, water, yeast. I used 50 g wet yeast since I was in a hurry, so it only proofed like 2*15 minutes before baking. Brushed with water. Came out lovely but a bit more dense than what I'd get if I had more time.
So yeah, half an hour of proofing, maybe 20 minutes of baking. And 5 minutes of actual work on my part.

Pepin has some easy as piss bread recipes you can easily find on Youtube.

>>13724039
sucking my dick wont make you cool, american

>>13723590
>obsessed
>seething
>how can Americans possibly EAT BREAD

>>13724040
>t.american

>>13724040
>self loaving
>loaving
kek
retard

>>13724043
fucking KEK
good observation. i knew it.

ROLLAN

>>13724043
Rolling and loling
Bitch lasagna

>>13724057
i mean, this is a bread thread

49 combined posts from two fucking faggots itt

>>13724068
more faggots than that, you're here.

>>13724043
ive litterally called them curry munchers 3 times in this thread you dumb fuck american, learn to read or is that to taxing on your feeble mind, american

>>13724045
they are american, what did you expect?

>>13724052
yea they are obsessed with me and are seething

and americans dont eat bread, they eat "american bread like product" its not even real food by civilised standards

>>13724054
try harder, american

>>13724057
only americans give a fuck about speeling and grammer, american

>>13724059
you know nothing you dumb fucking american, learn to read

>>13724066
its a thread about how retarded americans are

>>13724068
only americans count posts

>>13724073
your the only faggot here, faggot american

>>13723828
>anti-American poster is still going
You know this is an American website, right?

>>13724116
where did i say or imply im anti american? all ive said is facts, nothing hateful about teh truth, american

only americnas get butthurt when you remind them they are american

>>13724079

>>13724079
do you like regular naan or with garlic?

>>13724158
only americans are so lazy they can only reply with pictures

>>13724165
i dont eat curry muncher food, american

only americans are so brain dead they cant work out where im from by the posts i made ITT

talk about a bunch of NPC brain dead retards

but you go on ahead thinking im a curry muncher, no skin off my back, american

>>13722051
Pancakes.

>>13724185
only americans think pan fried CAKES are a bread

>>13724179
Ok Kutik

>>13724316
>Kutik

i dont speak american, care to translate that into non mutt human text, american?

LISTEN TO ME OP

Ignore all these fags here.
I have been baking sourdough for years, I learnt how to do it from my mother who learnt from her mother.
Back in the day people had to do other stuff instead of messing around with dough for days so their way of making bread was actually functional.

If you don't care about posting your bread pics on IG you only need flour, water salt and starter or yeast. The trick is to use a baking mold. That way you don't have to worry about kneading technique, gluten, hydration etc. Spread a very thin layer of butter on the inner surface of your mold, wipe the excess with a paper towel and sprinkle any type of flour over it. Leave aside.
Mix your flour, water salt and starter.
(1kg flour, 650gr water, 10gr salt, 200gr sourdough starter. That's a lot of bread but you can scale down).
Knead until everything is combined. Don't worry about gluten or anything else. The mold will support your loaf so you don't have to care about proper gluten development. Just knead until it's soft and you don't have any dry flour in the mix.
Throw the dough in the mold, put in the oven leaving just the oven light on. When it has doubled in size turn on the oven to 200C. Don't bother with preheating the oven or increasing the humidity inside. You don't want a pretty bread, you want an easy bread. Just turn on the oven when while your loaf is inside.
Bake until it's golden brown.

Don't use a non stick mold, get an aluminium one, steel or glass. Some people say that steel is not good for baking because it doesn't have the heat conductivity of alu. It is true but you don't really care, the difference is negligible. I use pyrex glass.
If you use a mold that does not leave a lot of surface exposed you might have to remove the loaf from the mold mid bake in order for it to develop a good crust all over.

With some experience you will be able to use just enough starter to achieve your desired rise time. You can mix everything before sleep and bake in the morning

>>13724345
only americans desperately plea for people to listen to them instead of just saying what they want to say and not giving a fuck if anyone reads it, american

>>13722063
>4 ingredients.
that's pretty standard for bread DESU

>>13724354
only americans get tricked into "simplified" recipes

>>13724345
For max taste you can add like 100ml of olive oil per kg of flour. It tastes wayyyy better than plain flour and it keeps fresh for longer. But you will not get any oven spring and you will have to decrease the amount of water in the dough a little.
The pic I posted is 50% durum wheat (great taste, ugly bread), 50% strong white flour, 50-70ml olive oil, 10% whole grain rye&wheat starter.

>>13722051
I’ve made this when I don’t feel like going full bread autist, it’s pretty tasty https://alexandracooks.com/2012/11/07/my-mothers-peasant-bread-the-best-easiest-bread-you-will-ever-make/

>>13724377
only americans add fats to thier breads

>>13724397
only americans dont go full bread autist

>>13722051
Mix 1/8 of a teaspoon a yeast, a good amout of sugar and salt in about one and a half cup of warm water, throw in 500g of whatever flour you have then mix well, no need to kneak. Let the dough do its thing for about 12h, then punch the air bubbles out of it. Let rise for an hour the throw in the over at 375f for abourlt 45 minutes

>>13722051
I live within walking distance of one of the best bakeries in the country. Making my own bread seems like a huge waste of time when I can just pay $5-8 for perfect fresh bread